Disclaimer - I lost the fire fight. I'm now a ghost, and I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or Hellsing. This was not good day.

Alucard walked back into the central chamber. He struggled to maintain his composure now - Wrath's attack had taken out far too many of his precious remaining souls. Still, he prepared himself, cocking his Jackal in his teeth.

'So you've finally run out of familiars to throw at me.' Alucard said, drawing up his gun to fire. ' No one to put i between you and me.'

Father looked rather unabashed. 'They are of no consequence. The time they gave me to prepare was all that they mattered for in this battle.'

Alucard grinned. 'Oh, that is rich.' He leaped to the side, propelled by a hail of shrapnel. 'They were the parts of you that could fight!' Moving faster than any human could hope to see, he darted across the chamber to dodge Father's transmutations, only to return with a tank volley. 'They may have been monsters, but they were monsters to respect! They fought against me in my terrible prime, in the midst of the dark night, and none of them tried to run or hide from me!' Alucard deflect a round he saw coming, sending towards a wall which it smashed through. 'But you have not moved, not fought till the last second, done nought but flee and cower behind your family. Someone who does as such is nothing for me to fear.'

'Enough.' Father raised his palm. The air began to crack, as gases in the air moved and changed around him. With a final red spark, fire exploded out from Father's hand, billowing around him. The inferno caught Alucard, cutting into his flesh. He muttered under his breath 'One hundred and six - five!' His body fell away, becoming nothing more than a mass of black mist. It billowed in the air, and rushed forward. His mist gained mass only as he reached Father, smashing into him. His forming fist crashed against a shield of transmuted air, making a counter force - however, this did not stop the next five fists, which smashed in Father from every direction. Father was knocked back, body sprawled onto the cold dark floor.

'You know, there was something I hadn't realised till now.' Alucard said. 'When that alchemist referred to the philosophers stone, he didn't mean anything figurative, a spell or enchantment used to bind these souls. He meant an actual stone.' As Father started to get up, Alucard kicked him in his shins, rolling him over the floor.

'The implication was clear, when I saw Wrath use one. In this world, one the side of this gate, souls are bound as mass. To destroy said mass, to render it immaterial, destroys the stored souls - destroys the power you have.' He leaned over, grinning teeth brighter than the moon. 'So where's yours? You're not going to make me pry it out of you, are you?'

Father suddenly gave a look of panic. 'You won't find it! I'll -' but Alucard interrupted him, with a point blank pistol shot to the head.

'I won't find it? Even with my third eye? That sounds like a challenge.' Alucard breathed in, and opened it fully. He saw the pulsating mass of dead souls, crushed and cramped together, buried within Father's black neck. 'Got it. Now die!'

'No! This can't be happening! I won't let it happen! I'll destroy you first!' Father cried. Alucard lunged forward, and began to struggle to rip apart Father's body. As he did so, the air around him sparked, turning the chamber to day. His body was ripped apart like Wrath's before him, every molecule changing and decomposing as he made more of his form. As he pulled, Alucard counted down under his breath. 'Thirty three, thirty two - I'm coming for you, Schrödinger!'

Fire and smoke erupted around Alucard. Spikes rose up from the floor, crushing through limbs and cutting through his million eyes. Weaponry appeared around him, turning their aim upon him. His own returned fire, pitifully reduced, blocking barely a single weapon from attacking. Yet still Alucard pulled, struggled - compared with the gates of truth itself, how could he fail upon this foul creature. So as he and Father screamed, each mirroring the cries of the others, Alucard pulled upon the form with every piece of strength he had, until he saw it finally with his normal eyes- a red stone, the size of a heart.

'Got it!' He shouted, as he grabbed it between his teeth, wrenching it out of Father's neck. As Father's form started to fall apart, silent for a moment out of shock, then out of injury, Alucard hurled it into the air. Matter began to reform, but as it did two bullets shattered against. It did not break, but a crack appeared. As it fell, Alucard grabbed it. 'Die, monster.' he said simply. Then he smashed it in his fist.

Exhausted, Alucard fell to the floor, feeling as broken as the shards of red stone turning to dust around him. Feeling his long centuries on his back, he lay on the floor among the carnage. He started to count his souls, keeping the habit. It didn't take long.

'Two?' he wondered allowed. 'One is Schrödinger's, and the other is -' he grinned as he realised. 'Mine. Well I can deal with this.' He pulled up his broken body, towards a broken pillar, with a sharp piece of metal coming out of it. He looked up - he saw dawn beginning to break from outside the shattered walls. So fitting. 'It's been a long time coming Schrödinger. Die.' And with that, he slammed the spike into his heart, and left the world.

You could say he got stoned!

Or wait, like, anti stoned? Cause he removed it?

Basically Alucard doesn't think it's cool do to drugs.