A/N…

Well a lot of you love Carlisle. Good thing. I do too. He is fun to write and is a great buffer for the darkness Edward has been struggling with. We should all have a friend like him. My favourite line so far has been, Whoa. TMI,Edward. I don't want to know about your rolling with Bella. I giggle every time I think about it as I can hear his horrified voice trying to stop more information coming his way…

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Your words make me smile.

And my lovely ladies ,so many thanks and hugs…

Nothing Twilight is mine. But Musicward and Snarky Carlisle do belong to me. But I am happy to share.

I made my way down the hall, wanting to talk to Bella about what Carlisle and I had discussed. I pushed open the door and was surprised to find her fast asleep on my bed. She was curled up sideways and didn't even stir as I snuck up beside her and pulled her into my arms. I removed my glasses and closed my eyes feeling weary myself. The corners of my mouth twitched up into a smile as I thought about the reason for us both being rather tired. The past couple days had been rather eventful, as well as… physical for both of us. No wonder she was tired. I hadn't let her get much sleep last night with all the "practicing" we had done.

I felt myself drifting into sleep in my favourite place in the world.

Beside Bella.

In what felt like just a few minutes, I felt Bella stir awake beside me, then roll away and stretch. Reaching out, I tugged her back into my arms.

"No way Little One. You're too warm and perfect right here. Stay." I grinned but didn't open my eyes. I felt Bella shift and soft little kisses rained all over my face as she did her best to make me release her. I grabbed her face and kissed her thoroughly before finally cracking my eyes open. Her eyes were staring right at me and she was smiling.

"Something please you?" I smiled back down at her.

"Hmm mmm," she whispered back. "You."

My heart beat a little faster at her simple declaration. I held her a little tighter and allowed my head to fall into the crook of her neck, breathing in her soft scent deeply. She ran her hands up my back into my hair caressing me softly. I sighed deeply; loving the warmth I felt when she touched me like that. It was still an unfamiliar feeling for me and I revelled in it.

After a while I raised my head, and kissed her gently. "Thank you."

Confused she tilted her head. "For what, exactly?"

"For this morning. For being accepting and going with it. For being here when I came in looking for you." I kissed her softly three times, one for each reason.

Propping herself up on her elbow she smiled and cupped my face, stroking my cheek tenderly.

"Did you want something when you came looking for me?"

I groaned remembering why I had come to find her after Carlisle had left.

"What? What is it?"

"Carlisle convinced me we need to have a press conference after we go back to Toronto on Monday. And he told me if I agree to a meet and greet which James wants to arrange, he will back off and let Sebastian and I do our thing and not interfere. Fuck. I HATE those. "

"The press conference or the meet and greet? Or both?" Bella asked laughing, already knowing the answer. "I thought the last meet and greet you did went rather well…"

I joined in her laughter.

"Yes it was pretty unique as far as they go … But this is an autograph signing one. People line up and get something signed and take pictures etc. I especially hate them because I never know what will happen next. "

"You won't be alone will you?" she asked anxiously.

"No, Carlisle will be there and Emmett will be in the room. Carlisle makes sure I'm set up properly and what I'm signing is acceptable since I can't really make it out. If he's called away, Emmett steps in. It's the noise, the bright lights…and the crowds. And the unexpected." I shook my head.

"Flashes from cameras that happen without warning." I continued, feeling myself edgy at the thought alone. "They throw me off. I'm always highly apprehensive but apparently it's the only thing that will satisfy James, and if it means he lets us get on with what we want to do then I'll do it." I exhaled heavily.

"How long do they last?" Bella inquired.

"This one will be a couple of hours. That's all I agreed to. Sebastian will be there longer."

"Did you… did you want me to come with you?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"Yes," I responded quickly. "Please. I'd feel better knowing you're close to me." Leaning forward I kissed her gratefully. "I was hoping you would offer." Then I chuckled. "So was Carlisle. He seems to be of the opinion I'm not as much of an ass to deal with when you're around."

Bella's sweet giggle bubbled up and she clapped her hand over her mouth to cover it.

I reached over, pulling her hand away. "Don't cover up that sound, it's one of my favourite things about you." I whispered, brushing her mouth with mine.

Bella whimpered.

"And that sound right there? " I murmured huskily, "That sound is my second favourite."

"What's your first?" she whispered breathlessly.

"You, moaning my name."

With that said, I crushed her to me, planning on hearing that sound. NOW.

*()* *()*

"Need another nap?" I grinned into Bella's hair. She was sprawled out on top of me, tucked under my chin, after I had, indeed, heard my favorite sound, more than once.

And added a few new ones to the list.

Raising her head she laughed. "Well I certainly don't want to move away from you or get out of bed at the moment…" her voice trailed off softly as she cupped my cheek, stroking gently.

"Excellent. Me neither." I was perfectly content where I was.

Bella's hand continued its stroking slowly edging upwards. Closing my eyes I enjoyed her light touch until I realized her one finger was tracing the long jagged scar which ran out from under my hairline to just below my eye. Without thinking I grabbed her hand and pulled it away.

She didn't say a word. After hesitating, I released her hand and once again she stroked my cheek slowly. I could feel my chest getting tight. As her fingers once again touched the scar I growled her name in warning.

"Edward, it's me." She whispered soothingly, continuing to touch me. "Relax, please."

I let out a deep sigh and tried to relax. After a few minutes her touch didn't seem as distressing as it had before and I calmed a little. Adjusting herself she reached up with her other hand and stroked my hair which she knew I found soothing. She didn't say a word until she felt me completely relax under her.

"Why?" she said simply, quietly.

Without giving myself a chance to think, I said the first words that came to mind.

"It's hideous and a permanent reminder of the start of a dark, painful time in my life."

"Your accident? When you lost your parents?"

I cringed at the mention of that day. Bella and I had not discussed it, but the whole country had known about Edward Masen's tragic accident. It had been all over the papers and the news for weeks.

Unable to speak I nodded. Bella continued with her gentle touches allowing me the quiet I needed.

"Will you tell me Edward? Please?"

I drew in a deep breath.

Could I? Was I ready to start telling her?

"You have to talk to me, Edward. You have to start. Just tell me what you can. I promise I won't push. But I want to know. I have to know what has made you like this. To understand. Please."

Her voice was pleading and soft. Slowly I nodded against her hand. She waited patiently for me to speak.

I gathered her close before I started. I needed to feel her warmth around me.

"I was on tour and at that point we were in the States. The shows were huge; with a full symphony orchestra every night. It had been a while since I had seen my parents and they flew in to surprise me." I paused remembering how happy I'd been to see them. "Life on the road was fairly isolating at times and things hadn't been so great for the past while before they showed up.

"I, uh, I hadn't been married very long at that stage and my, uh spouse was with me but she wasn't really enjoying the tour much… I thought having my parents there would be a boost for both of us and would give them a chance to get to know her …better." I swallowed and fidgeted some, feeling uncomfortable discussing this with her. Bella didn't question my odd choice of words and I was glad. Spouse sounded cold, I knew that, but I couldn't bring myself to refer to her as my wife.

"They didn't know her?" she asked quietly and I could hear nothing but gentleness in her voice. "I seem to remember the papers said you eloped."

"No, I'd only met her a short time before and we were married while I was on the road. She... uh …she was a dancer. No big wedding or anything. I had promised her one once the tour was over…" I trailed off. Just another promise I hadn't lived up to.

I shifted onto my side taking Bella with me. Once again her hand stroked through my hair which somehow kept me grounded to her, to the present.

"We were in Chicago. It was a multi night gig. My parents wanted to do some sightseeing. I insisted on driving rather than hiring a car. I wanted some time with just us, no strangers, and no body guards around. Just some time with my family. That was all I wanted. It seemed so little to want."

"Shh, Edward," Bella's voice was suddenly close to my ear. "Here, have a sip of water."

Confused I looked at her, and then realized the strange noise I was hearing was my own short sharp breaths. Gratefully I took a sip of water from the bottle she had taken from the table beside her. Then, like Carlisle had done the other day, she placed my hand on her chest. I closed my eyes and focused on breathing.

"Deep breaths Edward. Slow deep breaths."

After a minute I opened my eyes, feeling calmer.

"Ok?"

I nodded. Then let it all come out.

"The other car came out of nowhere. One minute I was driving and talking to my parents, and the next minute I woke up in a mangle of crushed car. People were shouting and yelling... I couldn't see anything because of the blood in my eyes. I…I called out for my parents and ... my spouse… and there was nothing. No one responded. Then I blacked out."

I paused, remembering the pain, the confusion and the noises. My arms were no longer around Bella. My hands were clenched into fists and pushing down into the mattress trying to control the panic I was feeling as I relived the memories. I could feel my entire body start to shake.

Her soft voice and touch brought me out of the panic before it totally shut me down.

"Shh, enough. Stop now Edward. Just relax."

I shook my head.

"No. I want to tell you." Now that I started I couldn't stop. Not yet.

"I woke up in the hospital. Carlisle was there. He told me… he told me they were dead. My parents hadn't survived. My spouse was in surgery. I had head trauma and broken ribs and cuts; this one by my eye being the worst. It goes a few inches up into my hair. It never healed well." My hand drifted up and I traced the deep scar.

"One instant Bella." I could hear the pain in my voice. "It all happened in one instant because some ass wasn't paying attention to what he was doing and barrelled through a red light. He took away everything that had really mattered in my life. And unjustifiably walked away with a broken leg, and a few years jail time. He got to go back to his family."

"Your wife made it through surgery though?" Bella asked quietly. "You still had her. That was a blessing."

Those words were my undoing. I couldn't tell her anymore. Not today. It was too much. Burying my head into the nape of her neck I shook my head. "No more please. I will tell you, I will, but please not right now."

"Shh, ok. It's ok, Edward."

We were quiet as Bella slowly soothed me again with her soft caresses. Slowly I felt myself calm down.

Raising my head I felt her looking at me. "Thank you for telling me," she whispered. "I know that must have been difficult to relive."

I nodded. "There is… more. But I can't…" Bella's finger on my lips stopped my mumbled apology.

'I know, Edward. I'm here when you're ready. We'll take it slow, ok?" Her soft voice was reassuring.

Silence enveloped the room and slowly I relaxed back into the comfort of Bella's embrace.

"You know I saw you perform during that tour," she whispered softly.

"Really?"

"It was so amazing, Edward. The whole concept. A stadium show with a live orchestra and classical music, blended with more modern pieces. With the addition of the incredible singers and the lights…such a different experience."

I snorted. "Yeah, I was rather...theatrical back then, to say the least."

"No really, it was breathtaking."

Surprisingly I wanted to talk to her about it. "I wanted to bring classical music to more people. More than me sitting at a piano in front of people wearing tuxedos and wishing they were somewhere else. Carlisle and I worked on the concept of classic with a twist and although many people said it would never fly, we proved them wrong. Luckily I was already a well-known name and Carlisle found some backers… then we were off and running."

"Do you miss it?" she asked quietly.

"No. It was exciting and what I wanted at the time. But it was also a great deal of work and the constant travel was wearing. We did it for a few years but …" I hesitated briefly, "I was already planning on a break when …when the accident happened."

I took a deep breath and shifted. "And now it's not possible. And not something I'm interested in anymore. I enjoy the producing aspect and writing. I get to work with some amazingly talented people and pick and choose what I do. I record what I want to record and play what I want to play. And occasionally perform in public."

"It was lovely hearing you play the other night," Bella's voice was soft. "And I love watching you. You are so utterly engrossed in your music when you play, Edward. It's as if the music flows right through you. It's mesmerizing."

I leaned down and kissed her forehead allowing my lips to linger briefly. "I had special inspiration that night Little One. You were there."

Bella sighed softly. Her arms tightened around me and we were both quiet just enjoying the softness of the moment.

Then Bella's phone rang.

Groaning, she kissed my chin before getting up to answer it. From her greeting I knew it was her publishing office calling her. She grabbed her robe and padded down the hall as she spoke. I could hear from her voice she was not pleased about something as she came back into the bedroom a short while later. I watched her pacing form and caught the end of the conversation.

"Fine. I'll meet her in Edmonton. I'll call you with the details."

I sat up.

Meet who? Where?

She was leaving?

"Bella?" I asked struggling to keep my voice calm, despite the sudden panic in my chest. "What's going on?"

"One of our authors, Esme Platt, is on a book tour and her assistant has fallen ill. I've worked with her before and she has specifically asked for me to replace Rose while she's out. I have to go Edward. I'm sorry."

I struggled not to over react. I took in a deep breath.

"Esme Platt, the journalist?"

"Yes, you know her?"

"No, just of her reputation and some of her work. She's a great journalist." I paused.

"Can't they get someone else?" I questioned hopefully. "Surely there's someone else who could do it?"

Bella sighed and shook her head. When she spoke her voice was calm and patient. "She is rather a big deal, Edward. It's her third book, and I worked with her and her team on her first two. She is asking for me, and they wantto give her what she wants. Plus she and Rose are both good friends of mine, so I would like to help her."

I nodded in understanding, even though I really wanted to beg her not to go. "How long?"

"Ten days or so."

I closed my eyes at her reply. My chest suddenly felt heavy.

She was leaving. She was leaving me. I'd be alone again.

No, she would be back.

As if she knew my agonized thoughts, she hurried to reassure me.

"I don't want to go Edward, I have to. It's part of my job. Not often, thank goodness, but still… I'll be back in Toronto soon. And think how much more you'll get done without me here to… distract you all the time."

I knew she was trying to make this easier on both of us. But nothing she said or did would make this easy.

"When?" I asked tightly.

"I'll check into flights for later tonight," Bella's voice was quiet.

I shook my head. "No. I'll have Paul fly you. Carlisle will arrange it."

"That's not necessary."

"Yes, yes it is. Then you can fly later or even in the morning. It will be faster and I'll know you're safe. Please."

Bella sighed and walked over to me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. I buried my head into her chest, already feeling lost.

"Please Bella," I whispered softly.

"Why is this so important to you, Edward?"

"Because you are important to me. Because doing this gives me a few more hours with you. You can leave right from here," I answered honestly.

"Alright, then," Bella murmured. She paused and I could tell she was thinking. "Luckily I don't have much to pack. I brought one dress with me I'll use tomorrow and then I'll go out and buy a few things to get me through."

Leaning over with one arm, I grabbed her inhaler I knew she kept there, off the nightstand. "Don't forget this please. Do you have an extra one with you in case?"

"Yes, I always do."

"Good, otherwise I'll worry even more."

Grasping my face she kissed me firmly.

"It's only ten days Edward. Shorter if Rose gets better. I don't want to go. I want to stay here. With you. You know that, right?" She waited for me to nod before continuing.

"You understand I'm not leaving you, I just have to go and work? Tell me you understand that, please?" Her voice broke on the last word and I gathered her even closer.

Fuck. She didn't want to go any more than I wanted her to.

She wanted to be here.

With me.

Suddenly I realized how selfish I was being. She was hurting as well.

"I know Little One." I assured her. "I'm going to miss you. So fucking much. Just come back to me as soon as you can. Promise me that," I pleaded softly.

"I'll miss you too Edward. More than I can say. And I promise."

I held her as closely as I could, breathing her in. I didn't want to let go.

Suddenly ten days felt like forever.

Uh oh. Little One is leaving on a jet plane. Musicward is not happy, but he did open up to her some…

There may be another update this week...