AN: So it hasn't been as insanely long since the last update. Congratulations to me. (Sarcasm.)

Wow. Chapter 20. This fic was never intended to be this long. Not that I'm entirely displeased. As far as this chapter goes… I like the first part fairly well, but I'm less than satisfied with the end. The end is pretty much pointless fluff, and I haven't been in so much of a fluffy-writing mood. But I figured I should post this since I'm leaving on a family trip tomorrow, and won't be at a computer for almost three weeks. So… I'm posting the chapter a little sooner than it should be. Hopefully I'll work with pencil and paper while I'm gone and will have a new chapter up soon after I return.

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Rosoku and Yanagi are though. Steal them on penalty of death.

Warnings: The typical violence, mentions of abuse, shonen-ai, with a touch of shojo-ai as well.

Other: Remember "blah" is speech and 'blah' is thought.

Reviewer responses: Thank you all! I'm very surprised you liked the last chapter so well… You guys really do keep me going when I feel like quitting.

Dark-kitsune-dreams: Glad you like the OCs. I like them too, but I was worried about them being MarySueish, though I tried hard so they weren't. Thanks!

spiritkitsune: Don't kill yourself! Youko's dreams… you'll have to see about those. The yuri goodness is in this chapter… but it's very PG. Unfortunately…

ChibiNekoSakura: Glad you like my OCs too. Karasu is coming… probably in the next couple chapters.

SoarMoreFlyHigher: Thank you:hugs back: I'm glad you like the story.

KayHiei: At least this update didn't take as long, right? n.n

FoxofRoses: Worth the wait? Wow. Glad you liked!

kittyluv: You can find out about the illusion now. Thanks!

Kuranga108: Glad you liked it! Updating!

Evene: Thank you. It's true, transition chapters are necessary, they just seem boring as you write them.

Agent Dark Moose: I'm glad! I tried to make the abilities I gave my characters interesting. Glad I succeeded. n.n

bec-wan: Thanks! I'm trying to not let the pace drag, but without making it rushed. Glad you like!

PainfulxRecovery: Updating. n.n

LoversPastForgotten: Yay! I'm happy you love my story!

shiorifoxiesmom: Thank you! That's always nice to hear. ;)

SilverWingedNightAngel: Ah, name changes. Thanks for telling me, otherwise I never know these things! I'm glad you keep checking on my fic.

EnchantedBlood: Please forgive me! There's more action in this chapter, but I'm happy you liked the last chapter anyway!

lin: Thank you! I'm glad my descriptions are good, and that I cover such a wide range in the tone of the fic!

animebishieluver: I'm glad it didn't suck. This chapters got some more action though.

T.K.Yurikoto: Wow. Thanks! It makes me happy you liked the chapter, and you liked that the wait was long? I'm almost sorry I'm posting this one relatively soon. ;)

ineXpressible: Yes, I realize I need transition chapters… the last one was a pain to write though. Thank you very much!

And now…

Chapter XX

When the Cure is as Bad as the Disease

Yukina found Youko in the gardens on the other side of the walled courtyard. He was kneeling by a rosebush and she could feel him exerting his youki on it. Drawing closer she saw the plant was responding, sending out a thorny tendril to meet Youko's outstretched hand.

She cleared her throat so as not to startle him, and he looked back at her, still slightly surprised. He looked a little chagrined as well. "Sorry," he apologized, tilting his head a little toward the rose, which had now reverted back to its original form.

"No, not at all. It's good for you to practice using your powers. I just wanted to talk to you."

"All right," Youko assented, facing her and rising.

"There may be a way to help you. About your fear… but it would be hard."

"Okay…" Youko cautiously acknowledged.

Yukina continued, "It would be rough on you and would purposely invoke your fear of Karasu. But, it could move you past it. If you ever meet him again, this could keep you from being paralyzed. I asked Hiei about it, and he told my to ask you. It's up to you if you want to do this, knowing how hard it will be."

Youko visibly swallowed hard. "But… this could help? It could stop the panic attacks, the nightmares?"

Yukina nodded. "It could. It should erase the panic attacks at the very least, and allow you to think if ever in a situation with him. If it didn't get rid of your nightmares entirely, it would get them to a point where they no longer terrified you. However…"

"… However I'm going to have to go through hell to gain that. But really, if I can do this at once rather than over and over with the dreams, why shouldn't I?"

Yukina wanted to tell him this would be hundreds of times worse than a nightmare, but she didn't. He'd agreed to it, and she didn't want him to change his mind. She knew it would help him, she just hoped it would be worth it. "When?" She asked.

Despite his brave front, Youko had paled. But when he answered there wasn't any hesitation in his voice. "Whenever you can. Don't wait too long, or I might decide I don't want to do this," he tried to smile, but wasn't entirely successful.

Yukina lowered her eyes. "In an hour or so would be the soonest. Go find Hiei. I'll get you when we're ready."

XXX

Hiei was sitting in their room. Youko found him there and went to kneel beside him.

"You agreed." It wasn't a question.

Youko nodded.

Hiei put his arm around Youko's shoulders. The kitsune was trembling a little bit. "I just wish I knew what they were going to do."

'She didn't tell Youko about Rosoku and Yanagi,' Hiei realized. 'But I suppose if she had it could alter his reaction.'

"Don't worry. I won't let anything really happen to you."

"I know… just. I'm scared." Youko looked at Hiei. "Sorry."

Hiei shook his head. He pulled Youko against him making meaningless soothing noises. Hiei was unaccustomed to providing comfort, but Youko needed it.

Neither of them moved until Yukina came to find them.

XXX

The two were led to a square room in the second building. It was entirely empty, and reminded Youko of the main room in a martial arts dojo. Youko was directed into the center of the room where Rosoku and Yanagi were already waiting.

Both looked unusually somber, which was especially obvious in the normally hyper Rosoku. Now she stood, eyes slightly downcast, left hand on Yanagi's arm.

Yanagi was the first to speak. "Youko, know that anything we do here will be only in an attempt to heal you. I apologize for the pain this will cause. I have a question for you before we do anything. If you tell me to stop, should I? If I stop, and we then continue, we'll have to start over. However, it is up to you."

"No." Youko looked at her nervously. "I'm afraid if it gets bad enough that I want it to stop I won't have the courage to start again."

The look Yanagi gave him held something akin to approval. "Are you ready then?"

"Yes."

Yanagi closed her eyes as Rosoku started to speak. "Youko, I'm not familiar with Karasu. Could you describe him for me?"

Youko swallowed. "He's tall… and thin. Strong, but not blatantly. Long, straight hair, black. Some of it hangs in front of his face. Violet, somewhat narrow eyes. His nose and mouth are normally covered by a mask. He's… attractive." Youko sounded nervous and ashamed at this description.

At this point Yukina and Hiei could see the illusion beginning to form. It wasn't anything really recognizable. It looked like a vaguely human shaped heat shimmer. The air around it bent and warped, but Hiei was under the impression that Youko either didn't or couldn't see it yet.

Rosoku continued her questioning. "What does Karasu normally wear?"

Youko sat down. He was sweating. "Black clothing. Normally long pants with a long sleeved coat open to the chest with a red lining. The silver mask over the bottom half of his face."

Youko was shaking where he sat on the floor, his hands clenching the fabric of the lose tunic he wore.

Hiei looked on as Youko described his tormentor. Cree may have had a hard time pulling Karasu's image from Youko's closed mind, but Rosoku and Yanagi had no such trouble. Youko recalled Karasu's appearance with a startling clarity which only abject terror or love can accomplish. Rosoku pulled on his emotions and body language and relayed this information to Yanagi in order to augment Youko's verbal description.

The end result was a frighteningly real image of Karasu, standing over the shaking kitsune in the center of the room.

"What are Karasu's powers?" The merciless questioning continued.

"E-explosives." Youko stuttered. "Dust, bombs, small conjured demons. Also knives. A whip."

This information was more to make Youko recall his fear than to add to the illusion. Then the image spoke.

The words the figure said came from Yanagi, but were said in the voice both Youko and Hiei clearly remembered.

They were aimed to hurt and strike directly at Youko's worst fears. They did just that. "Youko, you pathetic whore. Did you think to escape, to hide from me? You are more of a fool than I thought. You are mine. You will always be mine. No matter how far you run you can't escape that, not that you can escape me either." Hiei heard Karasu's calm, charismatic voice say, colored with both anger and amusement. If Hiei hadn't known better, he'd have thought Karasu really was in the room.

"No…" this was Youko whimpering. He was crying. "No, stop. Go away." Something in the way his eyes looked desperately around him gave Hiei had the feeling that the illusion went further than just the image of Karasu. Youko had no recognition in his eyes when he looked at either Hiei or Yukina. He did not plead for them to help him. He was behaving as if he were alone in a confined space with the cruel lord. He was literally re-living the experience of being Karasu's prisoner.

Yukina involuntarily stepped forward a pace. She couldn't bear to see any living thing in pain, much less someone she cared about like Youko.

As much as Hiei didn't want to, he held Yukina's arm to keep her back. Neither of them could interfere.

As the illusion of Karasu drew nearer Youko cried out in fear and what was almost pain. Yukina turned and fled. She couldn't take that without trying to stop it.

Hiei didn't blame her. He wished he could leave, or help Youko, but he couldn't stop them. And he had sworn to himself and to Youko that he would not leave. Whatever pain this caused him didn't compare to what the kitsune was willing to go through.

The illusion was speaking again. "You thought you'd be safe. Oh, you thought Hiei would protect you? That he loved you? I love you, Youko." A malicious smile before continuing. "I love you too much to let some low demon take you away."

"N-no. I mean yes. Hiei l-loves me. S-stay away from me," the kitsune pleaded.

The voice was lower now, as Karasu leaned in towards Youko. Hiei could barely catch what was said. "Hiei loves your body. That is all. Don't mistake it. What else would he love? You are worthless."

"N-no." Youko was really crying now. Not the silent tears he'd been shedding for most of the time spent in the room, but harsh sobs that wracked his slight, too-thin frame. "G-get away from me."

Hiei was barely able to keep his temper in check. Blood dripped to his feet from his clenched fists where his nails bit into his palms.

"Hiei will tire of you in time. I won't. I will take you back. No one will stop me. No one cares what happens to you. You really aren't stupid enough to think Hiei would risk anything for you? He did once, but guilt and lust can make people do foolish things. You thought it yourself; Hiei could have anyone. Why would he risk his life for a skinny whore like you?"

Hiei wanted to step in, tell Youko that none of it was true. Rosoku and Yanagi were doing an amazing job of pinning Youko's fears down and bringing them to the front. Hiei could kill them for it. Only sheer force of will kept him rooted to the spot, containing his energies both physical and mental.

"Stop it." This was Youko. He was struggling to his feet. All traces of his frightened stutter were gone. "Stop it. You're lying. Hiei does care for me, and I know it. And I am not a whore. I'm not alone, and I am not the same little terrified kitsune you had before! So get away from me!"

Youko's skin was glowing with the youki he was controlling. Hiei didn't even have to strain to see it. His efforts soon had an even more obvious effect as vines from the power-altered plants outside snaked through the sliding door into the room.

The illusion stepped back. The vines Youko controlled snapped towards 'Karasu.'

The illusion disintegrated as Yanagi fell to her knees. Rosoku knelt by her side. Youko collapsed almost simultaneously. The vines shrank back and his youki returned to normal levels.

Hiei ran to him before he could faint, pulling one of the kitsune's arms up over his shoulders and wrapping his arm around Youko's waist, supporting him.

Hiei looked up at Rosoku questioningly. Did she need help with Yanagi?

She shook her head and waved for him to go. He did so, half carrying Youko back to their room.

Youko was exhausted, his energy was depleted, and he'd had to face his greatest fear. Hiei was surprised the kitsune hasn't fainted, from exhaustion if nothing else. When they got to the room he helped Youko lay down.

As Hiei pulled back, Youko reached out one arm and grabbed at Hiei's loose pants. "Please don't go," he choked out. His eyes were pleading. Not really frightened, more lonely and worried.

Hiei reached for Youko's hand, which was death-locked onto his clothes. He loosened the fox's grip and placed Youko's hand in his own. "Don't worry. I'm right here, and I'll stay here as long as you want me to."

XXX

Yanagi sat next to Rosoku on an ornamented bench in the gardens, looking depressed, and refusing to look at anything higher than the ground. Rosoku sat in silence beside her, knowing she'd speak if she wanted to.

"Was it worth it?" the half kitsune finally asked.

"Of course," was Rosoku's immediate response.

"Or did I do more damage than I could possibly have healed?"

"You saw how Youko finally reacted. He's over it. He's afraid of Karasu, which knowing Karasu is actually a good thing, but he can deal with it."

"But can that justify what I did? I took his worst fears and forced them on him. Doesn't that make me almost as bad as Karasu?"

Rosoku decided her lover had wallowed in her self-doubt long enough. "Yanagi, look at me," she ordered, standing up.

Yanagi did look up, though she still looked morose.

Rosoku took Yanagi's hands, pulled them apart and proceeded to sit in her lap, straddling her waist. Yanagi leaned back as Rosoku's weight was suddenly placed entirely on her legs. Rosoku wasn't heavy, it was just unexpected.

Rosoku leaned in close to Yanagi's face. "Don't. You don't need to doubt what you did. It was what everyone had agreed on, including Youko. This helped him, it didn't damage him, it just taught him that Karasu is only a demon, like Youko himself. Stop going and attacking yourself, because you did nothing wrong. You did what only you could do to help him. And if you think you're so guilty that you deserve to be punished, what about me? I was giving you the information so that you could perfect the illusion. But I think you should drop it altogether. It was hard, it was the right thing to do, and now it's behind us. Okay?"

Yanagi looked up. "Okay," she agreed, only slightly shakily.

"Good." Rosoku approved before leaning against Yanagi and giving her a gentle kiss.

XXX

Youko didn't want to sleep. He was physically tired, but his mind was too active.

He and Hiei had shifted positions, so now Youko was lying on his side, his head resting on Hiei's lap. The fire demon was being surprisingly kind towards Youko. Not that Youko was complaining. But it was making him worry about something…

Hiei gently scratched at the base of Youko's ear, waiting for the kitsune to voice whatever was bothering him.

It was a while longer before Youko asked him, "Are you going to leave me?"

"Hm? Why would I do that?"

"You said you would… that was your original plan, wasn't it? To leave me with your sister."

"Hn. Plans change. Things are different than I thought. I don't plan on leaving you."

"Good." Youko sighed.

Hiei continued scratching gently behind Youko's ear. Then he slowly moved his hand lower through Youko's hair, down the kitsune's neck to his upper back. Youko arched his back a little and purred. Hiei half-smiled.

Youko sighed again. "Hiei. I'm sorry. I'm a pain for you to have to deal with."

"Hn. It's my choice. I don't mind, you aren't a 'pain,' so drop it."

"All right." Youko arched his back again as Hiei's hand moved lower on his back.

Hiei moved his hand still lower, to the base of Youko's tail, eliciting another purr out of Youko. That was an improvement. Before Youko had shuddered when Hiei had done that.

Youko sat up a little higher, looking up at Hiei. Sitting back a little, he studied Hiei's face for a moment before leaning in and kissing him. "I love you Hiei. I do. I am sorry for what I've made you do. And thank you for all you've done. I've said it before, but I mean it."

Hiei flushed slightly. Expressions of emotion made him nervous. "Go to sleep Youko. You're tired. I'll stay here, so don't worry."

Youko smiled gratefully. "Thank you. I'll see you later…" he said before curling up against Hiei's leg and promptly falling asleep.

XXX

When Youko woke from his nap, he found he'd slept well into evening, and blissfully with no nightmares.

Though it was evening, Hiei had stuck to his word, and was still in the room, though he was now seated at the table leaning over a sheet of paper, and a blanket was draped over Youko.

When he heard Youko move, he said without looking up. "Hn. Sleep well?"

Youko sat up, stretching. "Mmmhmm. Sorry…"

"You needed rest. Hungry? Yukina made dinner. We can go eat in a minute."

"Sure."

"We should leave tomorrow if you're ready. I don't like being away for so long, even though I used to be away so much longer because of Karasu. I know it's only been a few days here, but I was out for days before that with my shoulder. Yukina healed it, so I'm fine now. It's up to you really."

"That's fine. Whenever you want to go."

To be continued…

AN: Sorry for the abrupt ending… Next chapter they leave Yukina's and head back to Kouga and the rest of the group. Youko will start getting stronger as well. Plus there will hopefully be some more Hiei/Youko–ness in the next chapter too.

Please do review… tell me how it was…