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Like Father Like Son

Chapter 21

Greg was trying to gauge his father's mood as they strode down the halls of PPTH together. He may have had a bum leg but it didn't slow House down a bit and Greg had to lengthen his stride to keep up. The couple of times he tried to speak, Greg was hushed with a look from his dad. He was beginning to think that he was in trouble. He deserved it if that was the case. The secret had been between them for awhile now and Greg figured the longer he kept it the worse it would be when his dad found out. People passed them in the hall and averted their gaze. Was it because they knew Greg was a dead man walking or because they feared House and avoided confrontation with him at all costs? With every step Greg worried more. He prayed that the elevator would be filled with people so that whatever his dad had to tell him had to wait a little longer. Once they got to the clinic the jig was up and the son would know exactly what was on his father's mind.

The elevator doors opened and much to Greg's relief the car was nearly full. House wouldn't ream his son publicly…Greg hoped. The elevator ride wasn't going to last forever though and so Greg was preparing a speech for his dad. House hadn't looked mad in Wilson's office, but the silence now left Greg bewildered and fearful. The men rode the elevator car to the main floor and were greeted by Cuddy as they exited.

"House, I was just going to your office to talk to you. Follow me." House made like he was headed to the clinic as he texted something on his phone. Greg soon received the text:

Don't make eye contact. You'll turn to stone.

Just as Cuddy ordered, "House, you too," Greg giggled at his dad's text making it look disrespectful to onlookers.

"Uh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean….I didn't…."

House and Cuddy both looked at Greg. Cuddy looked astonished and House looked amused.

"I bet you wish you were brave enough to laugh in the face of danger, don't you Cuddy?" House commented.

"We'll talk in my office."

House texted:

I'll keep you around. For once, I'm not the one in trouble.

Greg read the text but didn't respond.

As they arrived in Cuddy's office, she motioned for them to sit in the chairs in front of her desk, so House stretched out on her couch.

"House…."

"Alright, I'll move my feet so that Eddie can sit." House moved his feet off the couch, but replaced them just as Greg was beginning to sit next to him.

Another text:

Distance will work to our benefit. Stay away. Maybe stay scared.

Quickly, the text was read and Greg pocketed his phone to indicate to House that he was done reading his texts, but not before Cuddy saw him.

"You need to keep your cell in your pocket, Mr. Dubois, when you are on duty here."

"I'm sorry Dr, Cuddy. I needed to look at my father's text. He was sending me some advice."

House smirked realizing that Cuddy didn't have a clue. She continued on to the matters at hand as the men made swift and amused eye contact.

"I see that the two of you have met. That's good. House, you will be in charge of Greg for the six weeks. Greg, I won't see any more disrespect from you regarding House. He is everything a doctor shouldn't be and yet he has the highest cure rate in this hospital. He shouldn't demand respect, but he has certainly earned it. There isn't a doctor here that would want a different doctor to diagnose him if his life were on the line. For all his flaws, House gets results. Learn from him and know that you are getting the best training right now that you will ever get. If you play your cards right, when the time comes House will hire you as a fellow.

Throughout the entire speech, Cuddy, her back turned to House was unaware of House mimicking her as she spoke. She'd seen Greg's face turn more deeply purple, though. House's final eye-roll finished Greg and he had to swallow his hysteria in coughing and choking. Realizing that House was, quite literally, behind this, she turned on him.

"House are you ever going to grow up? I'm trying to talk to this young man about respecting you and then you pull this sh—stuff! Can I trust you to teach Greg something worthwhile or should I just assign him to Chase or Foreman instead?"

A small voice from behind Cuddy said, "What about Thirteen?" Realizing that he had spoken without thinking, Greg continued. "She has really been helpful to me. She showed me how to use some of the lab equipment and allowed me to make the diagnosis on Jewell. I've learned a lot from her already."

Cuddy stared at Greg, then back at House. "You have him diagnosing patients already? Where was Wilson while all of this was going on? You're supposed to have been working with him."

House rolled his eyes at Cuddy. "I'll use nice short words so that you can follow me, here."

Cuddy was wondering how all of this could have gone so terribly wrong, so she didn't bother to respond to House's comment.

"I found a patent in the clinic that needed Wilson's special caring touch. I knew she wasn't a cancer patient and figured that Wilson would like a change of pace. (Don't faint, Cuddy, I can occasionally be nice.) Wilson came to the team to help with a diagnosis when the usual treatments for 'just being a little under the weather' weren't working. It gave Wilson the chance to introduce Eddie, here, to the team," House gestured widely toward Greg. "And it gave him the opportunity to watch a DDX in progress. It turns out the kid takes after …."

Greg raised his eyebrows curious to see if his dad was really going to walk into that blunder like a tall man into a moving airplane propeller.

"…the smart side of his family and he figured it out before the rest of my team did. He never saw me although apparently he was in the conference room a number of times when I was on conference calls with them." Looking directly at Greg, House continued. "He was very quiet during those calls. I don't recall hearing from him at all." As House was speaking, the last statement, his words had become slower and more measured as he realized just how long this had been going on. Oh, his boy was good!

House stood suddenly, and grabbed his cane.

"Cuddy this has been nice. We'll need to do it again sometime."

"Eddie, we have clinic patients to see. Come."

Wordlessly, Greg followed his dad from her office as Cuddy looked on. The Dean had completely forgotten why it was she had called them there in the first place.

House and Greg entered Exam Room 1. File in hand, House looked at the patient in question and smirked.

"This case is so easy that even a fourteen year old could figure it out!"

House handed the file to Greg.

"I….uh….."

Crap. Greg was certain that he was going to throw up. How was he expected to do a doctor's job when he wasn't a doctor? He opened the file. That was a good start anyway. Oozing rash. Terrific.

"Let's take a look at your rash"

House was playing with a pair of exam gloves, blowing them up like balloons and causing them to make rude noises. Greg understood and grabbed a pair of his own from the box.

The man rolled up his sleeves and, indeed, the rash was covering the man's arms. The man pointed to his crotch.

"I have it down there, too; do you need to see that?"

House snorted.

"What were you doing before you got the rash?" Greg looked to his dad for support. He was playing his Gameboy like the professional he was. Greg was going to die. At least he hoped so.

"I was pulling woodvine from the side of my house."

"How many leaves?"

"Three….Five?"

"Don't look at me; I wasn't there."

"Fine. Somewhere between three and five."

"I'm glad were able to narrow that down" Greg remarked sarcastically. You have poison ivy."

The man looked down at his crotch.

"Yes, there, too, if you didn't wear gloves as you were pulling down the vines. Let me go fine a regular doctor and he can write you a prescription for something to ease the itching and dry the rash. Next time wear gloves."

House left his game just long enough to hand the patient his prescription.

"Is that guy a real doctor? Can he do that? Write prescriptions, I mean?"

"I think so. That's what he tells me, anyway. I kinda have to trust him since we're related."

"He's your dad?"

"No, my creepy uncle; it's my turn to watch him today."

House grew suddenly sober. "Son…."

"Oh, alright! He's my dad."

"No way the two of you are related!" The man left without being dismissed.

"He didn't even thank us!" the House men said in unison.

Now that the room was cleared it was time for them to talk.