A/N: Wanted to release this earlier, but unfortunately I was struck by a fever with all its glorious side-effects. Just my luck to get ill during a vacation… Serves me right for making promises that are bound to be broken, sorry y'all.
Just a little heads-up in advance to avoid any confusion: Juhani's backstory has gone through major changes, so it's best to approach her character without any expectations from the original game.
On a completely different note, cthulu1 will be betaing this story for grammar, spelling and flow from now on, meaning TGLotS will come with less Dutch-English, writer's blindness and other crap from now on! Major thanks for your help, it's really useful. (Hope I didn't butcher the English language too grotesquely before. If I did I blame Dutch education!)
Book Two – Rebirth
Chapter Four
The Three Trials
"We are running out of time." Master Vrook's voice was filled with worried irritation.
"And I'm telling you she is not yet ready." Master Zhar tried to sound calm, but he too was feeling the pressure of the looming Sith threat.
"Control of the Outer Rim is slowly slipping through our fingers. How long until the Mid Rim becomes target of this war? The Core Worlds?" Vrook was constantly itching to jump into this war and lend his aid to the Republic and the Jedi, but his duties for the Enclave Council bound him to Dantooine. The constant stream of reports of lost battles was taking its toll on him.
"Believe me, I'd rather send Xana after the Star Forge today than tomorrow, but she's not at Revan's old level yet. Not by a long shot."
"We've already agreed on this," Vrook said in a low voice, trying to calm his temper. "Bastila is skilled but no frontline fighter and Xana is too much of an unknown in her current state. We have no skilled knight or master to spare, all of them are otherwise occupied, with this senseless war going on. Bastila and Xana need the melee skills of the Cathar. We have to retrieve Juhani."
"Xana is no match for Juhani in her current state," Zhar countered. "The Cathar will skin her alive, given the chance. Are you willing to take that risk?"
"She won't skin Xana alive," Master Dorak earnestly replied. "Juhani might be in a feral state, but she hasn't embraced the dark side. I put my hand in the fire for that."
"I'm not convinced," Zhar said. "Last time we saw her she looked almost possessed."
"Cathar are often misunderstood. Their culture - no, their entire being - is completely different from ours, it's easy to mistake that for the touch of the dark side." Dorak looked intently at the Twi'lek to empower his words. "I have worked extensively with a number of Cathar Jedi over the years and I assure you what Juhani is going through is typical Cathar behavior. Indeed, the Knight Trial we're putting her through right now was specifically designed for Jedi of her race. She has to overcome the beast within to become a Jedi Knight."
"But why do we have to send Xana for her? Can't we just send a small team to deal with Juhani and design a Padawan Trial that better suits Xana's current capabilities?" And avoid the risk of her being decapitated by an enraged feline, he barely resisted adding.
Dorak shook his head. "Letting a team drive her into a corner will accomplish only the opposite and enrage her even further. Once they've had a bout of power Juhani won't perceive Xana as a threat anymore. Her honor will prevent her from slaying the lower ranked Jedi, giving Xana a chance to work her silver tongue. To help Juhani come to terms with herself. Besides, if we want these two to work together it's crucial we give Xana this chance to help the Cathar. It might help Juhani to… warm up to Xana. As far as Cathar are capable of warming up to anyone, that is."
"So you're sure Juhani won't slice Xana's throat on sight?" Zhar inquired.
"Like I said, I put my hand in the fire for it." Dorak's definite tone left little room for discussion.
All masters turned to Master Vandar for his final verdict. The sage looked deeply worried and saddened. "It is unfortunate it has to come to this, normally I would advise keeping Xana here for at least another year, but do we have that much time? It is as Master Vrook said, time is running out, every day the Sith grow stronger and we grow weaker. We have to trust on Bastila's influence to keep Xana in line and on Juhani's combat skill to keep them both safe. If Master Dorak is convinced Xana will be able to temper Juhani's soul and rekindle her will to fight for our cause, I believe it is safe to carry on with the plan."
Zhar nodded once. "Very well, I shall make the arrangements."
For the first time in six months Xana entered the Council chambers again, accompanied by her master. Another youngling – an adorable Twi'lek girl of barely six years old – had been sent for them earlier that morning to tell them they had been summoned. Only official business took place in the Council chambers, so Xana had high hopes it'd be about her long overdue promotion.
All four Council Masters were present. When the two women were standing before them, Master Vandar took the word. "Initiate Xana Grey, we have summoned you here because you have shown great progression during the last six months. The time has come for you to prove your worth and undertake your Padawan Trials. Are you ready?"
"I am, Master Vandar." Xana barely contained a triumphant cheer.
"Then please recite the Jedi Code as you were taught and demonstrate you understand the full meaning of each line."
"Certainly, Master Zhar." Time for some textbook answers, no need for the four masters in front of her to know what she truly thought of their little code. "Emotion, yet peace. Self-discipline. Conquer your emotions and act with logic. Quell any sentiments through meditation to allow for a clear outlook on the task at hand." One would think the light sided Jedi would readily embrace emotions like compassion or love, but apparently even those could lead to the dark side in the little world they had created for themselves.
"Ignorance, yet knowledge. Observe, learn, and act out of the information you've gathered. Don't prance around in the dark without knowing what you're doing." The fact that something so glaringly obvious had to be written down appalled her. It's like telling a grown man to check the water temperature before stepping under the shower to avoid a nasty burn. If the Jedi they recruited were honestly so foolish they had to be told this, it was no wonder so many had joined the Sith.
"Passion, yet serenity. A Jedi is only loyal to the Jedi Order, all other relationships are merely a distraction and must be severed." A sideways glance at Bastila told her exactly what she thought about that particular line. Not giving in to this passion was starting to get unhealthy, seeing how she had nearly jumped her master in the aftermath of their earlier massage, if Bastila hadn't ripped her out of her trance with her plead things might've gone badly. Besides, without the support of Mission and Zaalbar she wouldn't be who she was right now. An individual finds strength and support in those close to them, the care and affection only a friend could provide was essential for the soul.
"Chaos, yet harmony. The Force connects everything like a vast web. Shaking a thread will have consequences, like ripples in a still pond. Study the possible outcome of your actions before you act." This one she wasn't sure about. Did the Force really connect everything? That would mean everything was bound to fate and left no room for chance. Did she walk a predestined path? She preferred to think she was in control of her own life.
"Death, yet the Force. Death is no tragedy, it's part of the cycle of life. Through the Force our deeds live on." Conquering the fear of death was what made a Jedi so formidable. Xana had almost died once and survived. She had tried to take her life once and survived. Had she conquered the fear of death? She had no desire to die anymore, as she still had a promise to fulfill to Mission. And she still hoped she could live a long, full life with Bastila. But would it really be so terrible, going into a dreamless sleep without ever waking up again?
So there it was in all its twisted glory, the Jedi Code, the bars and strings the Council used to control their puppets. The indoctrination that ensured complete and utter loyalty. Don't question the Council, because their word is infallible. Why? The Code tells us so. But why should we trust the Code? Because the Council tells us to. Nice circular reasoning there, the paradox would fry the circuits of any droid.
"You use the abridged version of the Code and your answers are short, albeit sufficient," Master Vrook reproached. "It shows you have yet to conquer your impatience." His gaze shifted to Bastila disdainfully. "But perhaps you merely copy the behavior of your master."
Bastila hung her head but Xana immediately flared up. "I was taught a master is not to reprimand his apprentice in public. 'Honor your padawan'? Are Council Masters excluded from that rule? Can they treat their flock as they damn well please?"
"Settle down you two," Master Vandar interrupted before Vrook could snap back. "Master Vrook, please show these two young Jedi the respect they deserve." Despite his small figure Master Vandar never had trouble keeping authority. "Xana, you show deep understanding of our Code. I can only hope it will transcend from mere understanding into actual practice one day."
Xana gave him a self-conscious nod, perhaps she hadn't managed to hide her disagreement with the Code as well as she had thought. Or perhaps the little toad could read minds. Nothing would surprise her anymore after everything she had seen and read during her six months of training.
"You've passed the First Trial," Master Zhar said, saving her from having to defend herself. "Congratulations. Now is the time to choose which path in our Order you will walk. As you know, there are three distinct branches in which…"
"Sentinel," Xana interrupted, knowing exactly where he was going.
The Twi'lek cocked an eyebrow, looking slightly offended. "Excuse me?"
"I know this will be some psychological test to determine if I'm best suited for Jedi Guardian, Jedi Sentinel or Jedi Consular. Allow me to save you the trouble. Guardians and Consulars are two extremes. The Guardian actively pursues and combats the forces of the dark side, preferably with a lightsaber. I'm not someone who willingly jumps into battle if the conflict can be otherwise resolved and I certainly don't focus solely on martial arts." Guardian Vrook shot her a disapproving look, but he didn't voice his thoughts.
"The Consular is a researcher and scientist, who tries to uncover the secrets of the universe and bring it into balance. I have no such aspirations, simply because I believe it can't be done. I'm no scientist either, I prefer the practical over the theoretical. Not to mention they focus on the Force too much, are too reliant on it." Consular Vandar smiled and nodded, did he agree with her?
"The Sentinels are the most practical of the Jedi, use all skills at their possession. Not only do they use both the lightsaber and the Force during combat and out of it, they don't forget the basic skills as well. Pick a lock, rewrite a droid's programming, hack a terminal… skills the almighty Guardians and Consulars might deem unworthy, but ever so helpful for a Sentinel to achieve her goals. They're sober and know the limitations of their training. Not so quick to jump into action as a Guardian, yet not as indecisive and benevolent as a Consular. The perfect balance, a jack of all trades who can take on virtually any job. That's the path I wish to pursue."
"I see you have given the choice great thought already," Zhar commented in an approving tone.
"Certainly master, I'm convinced it's the right choice for me. I'm not simply copying the behavior of my Sentinel master." Vrook didn't miss the jab at him, but Xana didn't give him the opportunity to respond, because she turned to Bastila with a warm smile. "But honestly, who could be blamed for wanting to be just a little bit like such a great woman?" The brunette looked a bit flustered and very grateful for the compliment.
"Who could be blamed indeed?" Zhar agreed with just as warm a smile at the knight. "Very well," he continued. "The reasoning behind your choice is sound. Whatever doubts I still had about Bastila becoming your master have all been swept away. You two are very similar, both no-nonsense women who represent everything the Sentinels stand for." He turned to Master Vandar and allowed himself a small smile. "Although I'm sure the Consulars will be disappointed you won't be fully exploiting your incredible connection to the Force."
"Again, the Force is a great weapon and a marvelous tool, which I love to study. Yet it's not omnipotent, it has its flaws. I prefer having a contingency plan or three."
"You love to study everything," Master Vandar said kindly. "Your place is with the Sentinels, it is where you will be most happy."
"I agree," Zhar added. "I would hate to see your other talents go to waste. I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms." The Twi'lek chuckled as he looked at Bastila, who was positively beaming at her apprentice. "In fact, one of them already does."
"I'm glad my apprentice has made this choice," the brunette said with twinkling eyes. "I'm sure she'll fit right in." Truth be told, the two of them had discussed this topic greatly over the months. When Bastila had explained her everything about the three branches Xana had immediately made her choice. If you read the branch's description and swapped the word Sentinel with opportunistic scoundrel it still made sense, so it was perfect for Xana.
"With that choice out of the way, it is time to construct your first real lightsaber," Zhar continued. "A custom hilt has already been constructed to perfectly fit your hands and defensive style." He reached into his pocket and took out a crystal. "The choice of color has been made for you when you chose your branch."
Xana pouted slightly when Zhar handed her the yellow crystal, but decided not to speak her disappointment. Instead she followed the Twi'lek Master into an adjacent room, where he handed her the custom hilt as well. She wasted no time to clamp it into the workbench and started focusing the crystal. It was a meticulous job that had no margin for error, so she took her time, despite her impatience to start using her new toy. Her training lightsaber was nice, but it lacked bite. This right here was the real deal, easily capable of amputating a limb or ten.
When she was happy with her work she turned to Zhar, who inspected her work. "Well, I'll be… this crystal is focused perfectly, couldn't have done it better myself. Impressive job for a first time, congratulations." His twinkling eyes turned grave as he looked back at Xana. "You know, a wrongly focused crystal will cause the hilt to explode as soon as it is activated, usually costing the wielder a hand. They say the Sith use this to weed out the weak."
"An effective approach, were the capability to focus the crystal indicative for the overall skill of a Jedi. Which it's not, so it's merely a waste of talent."
"Indeed." He gestured at the workbench. "Please finish your lightsaber so we can test the results."
The initiate did as she was told and tightly secured the hilt over the inner mechanism. She then unclamped the device and took it in her hands. The hilt felt familiar and comfortable, her hands fell perfectly in the ergonomic grip. She crouched into the opening stance of Soresu and activated it, sending a perfect beam of yellow light piercing the air.
Zhar studied the pristine blade with admiration. "Excellent! Truly marvelous. You've passed the Second Trial flawlessly. The First Trial has proven you are worthy of carrying the title of Jedi and the Second Trial has proven you are worthy of carrying a lightsaber. Now it's time to prove you're worthy of carrying the title of padawan. The Third Trial will test your understanding of your place in this galaxy and the role you play in it. Not far from the enclave lies an ancient grove, left by an alien race that has long gone extinct. The normally docile kath hounds that live around that area have recently shown a tendency of becoming aggressive. Go there, seek out the source of this taint and see to it order is restored."
Xana eyed him thoughtfully. "That's not much information to go on."
"It is all you are given. This Trial will measure the extent of your self-reliance, as the Order will not always be able to take your hand and guide you. Are you able to resolve problems on the go as you encounter them?"
The raven-haired woman nodded, understanding the necessity of the Trial now. "I'll depart immediately."
After Zhar explained how she could find the grove she exited the room with a final nod. Bastila followed her out and fell in step next to her. Xana eyed her new lightsaber with a pout. "My lightsaber, it's…"
"I know," Bastila interrupted with a knowing smile. "There is a crystal cave not far from here. Tonight we'll go there and fetch one with a better color."
Xana felt her mouth fall open involuntarily. "Y-you know?"
The brunette chuckled. "I know how you feel about wearing the insignia of our Order and seeing those sad puppy eyes when Master Zhar handed you the yellow crystal told me enough. It's not necessary to wield the Sentinel yellow, so we can change it to anything you like if it makes you feel any better."
"Thanks," Xana muttered, feeling a bit silly about her desire for a different color. But still, she wanted to make it abundantly clear she was not the typical light side Jedi. And Bastila didn't seem to have much of a problem with that. That wonderful woman continued to surprise her every day.
When they reached the front gates of the enclave they stopped to look at each other. Bastila gave her apprentice a reassuring smile. "Good luck out there, my apprentice. Return victorious."
"Don't worry my master," Xana grinned impishly. "I shall."
Xana was humming a soft tune to herself as she was finding her way to the ancient grove. She felt good, brimming with confidence. Soon she would be a padawan, bringing her time as a student to an end. She had been a student most of her post-amnesic life, be it for the Republic Navy or for the Jedi Order. It had been necessary of course, her time learning had filled the gaps from her past, had made her whole again as a human being. On top of that it had transformed her into an excellent warrior.
But she was done with that part of her life, she was ready to go out in the field and get to work. Sure, she would still be Bastila's apprentice so technically she'd still be a student, but it would be different. She would start to play an active role in this war and start fulfilling her promises to Mission.
She crossed the ridge of a small hill and found what she was looking for. Tucked away in a small valley lay the remains of an ancient structure. To say it was rundown was an understatement, all there was left were some grey tiles on the floor and a couple of pillars, sticking out of the ground like broken teeth. It was of simple design, but the blocks were large and heavy. The alien race that had built this must've been quite advanced to be able to heave them in place.
As she started ascending the hill she was greeted by a long howl, followed by another. Out of the ruins came rushing three kath hounds, possibly the most ridiculous looking dogs that would ever roam the galaxy. Their ragged fur was a horrible mix of brown, orange and grey and their deformed heads were covered in bony appendages, resembling horns but missing the sharp points to be of any danger. In fact, it was hard to come up with any practical use for the protruding bones, making her wonder if it wasn't simply a flaw of evolution.
Xana chuckled when she saw the misshapen creatures storming towards her and felt the urge to play around for a bit. She spotted a fist sized rock and used the Force to let it float towards her, grabbing it out of the air graciously. She held it in her open palm of her outstretched hand and aimed it at one of the kath hounds. "Kaboom!" she yelled, as the Force propelled the rock forward with the speed of a cannonball. It landed squarely on the head of the first kath hound with a sickening crunch, causing it to drop down with a high-pitched whine.
The other two tried to flank her, but Xana took a Force-sped step backward to avoid their sharp teeth. She drew her lightsaber, eager to test her new toy. The creatures clumsily recovered from her sudden disappearance and honed in on her again. "C'mere guys, let's play." The first one took a leap at her, which she nimbly avoided by stepping aside. Her yellow blade surged downward in a long, sweeping blow, leaving a deep gash in the hound's neck.
From the corner of her eyes she saw the other hound charging her, but with a flick of her wrist a powerful wave pushed him off course. It let out an angry growl, letting his enemy know just what he thought about her killing his buddies. Said enemy couldn't quite care though, as Xana went on the full offense with the last hound. Utilizing the first lightsaber form Shii-Cho – the basic form which all apprentices were taught – she sent a flurry of attacks his way. The poor creature was soon overwhelmed by the display of speed and it didn't take much effort to cut its head cleanly off.
Xana looked around the battlefield and was pleased with the cutting power of her new toy. In her mind she already felt like a full fletched knight. Her gaze shifted to the ancient grove, it was time to convince the masters of her conviction. She slowly approached the structure, but before she was even halfway there she stopped dead in her tracks when another creature exited it. This time it wasn't a dog though.
It was a cat.
Or, to be more precise, a catgirl. The alien that was approaching her was humanoid, but her entire appearance bore strong semblance to a feline on the hunt. Xana realized this must be one of the Cathar, a member of the race that had their entire homeworld and culture devastated by the Mandalorians.
Much to her surprise she was clad in Jedi robes, although a highly altered version of it. It consisted of a green catsuit combined with panels of brown leather. The fabric hugged the woman like a second skin, revealing long, toned limbs and a muscle clad torso that was completely free of fat, save from the small breasts. In fact, the entire woman was sinewy and lithe, like she consisted of merely bones, muscles and tendons. She was tall as well, much taller than Xana.
The Cathar's face was quite long, with pronounced, aggressive features. The tone of her skin was sandy yellow, with a pattern of light brown stripes running across it. Her scalp was almost completely shaved, save from a single strand at the back of her head that was braided into multiple tresses held together by a yellow band. The bald head made the two long pointed ears stand out. Her lips were rather big and lush and of a brownish color, with a hint of pink.
But the most striking feature was the eyes. Her massive eyes arched down slightly, giving them an angry touch. The irises were of the brightest yellow and accentuated by long, full and dark eyelashes. The eyes were alive and expressive, Xana felt simply drawn in to them. The face markings above the yellow eyes swept down like eyebrows that dipped deeply to the bridge of the Cathar's nose. It gave the woman a constant angry expression.
Or perhaps the woman was really just very angry Xana concluded sheepishly, as the woman was closing in on her furiously. The hatred that radiated off her felt almost feral. The Cathar drew not one, but two lightsabers and activated them, revealing two pristine blue blades. A regular sized lightsaber was held in her left hand, but in her right hand she carried a shoto, a lightsaber with a shorter blade.
This Cathar was a dual wielder and if she was wielding the shorter blade – the off-hand blade – in her right hand it could only mean she was left-handed. Immediately Xana was on her guard, she had very little experience with dual wielders, as they were quite a rare breed. To top it off she had never faced a left-handed Jedi before and it would be her first encounter with a Cathar. This duel had unknown written all over it and Xana didn't like it one bit.
She quickly crouched down in the Soresu opening stance, figuring she should be on the defensive at first to study her opponent's moves. Her body was positioned sideways in regards to her opponent, with her left hand outstretched in front of her and her right hand carrying her lightsaber arched backward, blade parallel to her body and pointing toward the Cathar. Her right leg was arched back as well, while her left foot was extended forward.
The Cathar meanwhile took on a stance that Xana recognized as Ataru, the fourth lightsaber form. Somehow she had expected the nimble looking feline to favor this form, as it focused on great speed, strength and acrobatics. A blue aura surrounded the alien and suddenly she took a massive leap, closing the twenty feet distance at once. Her two blades followed in a wide, powerful sweep.
Twin blues clashed down on lone yellow in a flash of brilliant white light.