* All original twilight characters belong to S. Meyer. Any original characters are my own.
* Rated M for mature content – self harm, suicide attempts, some smut.
"Yes, I'm starting to feel much better physically... I think I should be okay. I won't be long, I just need some space... I'm just feeling a little bit overwhelmed." I reassured him, following Rosalie out of the room and outside.
"Do you mind if we talk for a few minutes before we go back to the house?" I asked Rosalie as I stared down at my torn and bloody clothing.
When we had first left the house, Rosalie had offered to hunt for me as Esme had done earlier after seeing the amount of effort it was taking me to move my body still. But I had declined her, wanting more than anything to be able to be strong enough to take care of myself. It turned out to be more difficult than I had thought it would be as I managed to scare away the first several animals I had come across, finally managing to surprise a large elk, drinking messily from it. Now we were walking slowly through the forest, parallel to the house, not quite ready to return yet.
"I know that you must hate me for what I did to you..." Rosalie surprised me by jumping right into the conversation and I immediately shook my head, cutting her off.
"I don't hate you Rosalie." I tried to smile at her but the pain was still too difficult to do much more than raise one side of my mouth in a sort of smirk,
"But how can you be okay? I took away your life? I forced you into this... this nothingness that we all pretend to live in." she stopped talking and turned away form me, moving to the edge of the river and sitting on a fallen log.
"Rosalie I knew from the first time that I saw all of you in the cafeteria that you all were different. It didn't take me long to figure out what you are but when I did, the thought never once scared me. And then when I came to live with you, when I realized that I had a family for the first time since my mom and dad died... well, I knew that one day I wanted to become like you. I knew what I was giving up, but I also knew that in return I was getting this amazing family, a place where I truly felt that I fit in." I explained to her and saw her relax slightly.
"Thank you Bella." she finally looked at me and I saw her smile at me, "I want you to know... you are my sister." she didn't need to say anything else after that, I understood and I was grateful. Rosalie typically wasn't the most emotional one in the family, so knowing how she felt about me made me realize how lucky I truly was to have so many people on my side.
"Can I ask you a question Rose?" I asked a few minutes later, staring out over the water, listening as it lapped against the rocks beside us.
"About Edward?" she assumed and I nodded, chewing on my bottom lip as I thought about everything that had happened back at the house.
"I don't know what to do Rose." I began and then paused, not sure how much I wanted to reveal yet.
"Do you want to talk it out?" she offered, not wanting to sway me in either direction and I respected her for allowing me that.
"I feel so confused. It still hurts badly... as I'm sure you can tell by my obvious inability to even hunt for myself. The pain has made me weak and I'm so angry and frustrated about it. But at the same time my body is reacting to his presence. As you saw back at the house, just having him touch me there somehow saved me... stopped my body from giving up and I can't explain it and I'm not sure that I want to understand it. It feels like a betrayal from my body that it's being pulled to his. I can feel it, like a magnet and it's taking the little bit of energy I have left right now not to run back and smash into his side and stay there." I shook my head at the thought, knowing that I definitely did not want to do that right now.
"But then... like I said I'm angry and hurt... and his excuses don't even make sense." I growled in frustration. "I mean, he left. Fine. If he thought he was hurting me, turning into his father, whatever I get it. But he didn't call, he didn't write, he completely evaded the entire family. Not just me, but you and Emmett, Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme. I don't understand how he can just sit there and ask me for my forgiveness!" I pounded my fist into the log and sighed when I saw the small crack that appeared... when I had first envisioned my life as a vampire, I had seen myself as being able to crush things, yet here I was barely putting a crack in a piece of wood in the midst of my anger.
"Do you want to forgive him?" she asked and my brain instantly said no. But I knew that wasn't entirely truthful, obviously physically my body thought I should forgive him. But did I?
I scanned back through my memories, trudging through the haze of my final human days and back to before he had left. We had been happy together... yes, Edward had always been protective to the extreme, but until he left me it had never been harmful, or even something that I had minded. He had always touched me in a way that nobody else could, made me laugh and smile when I had thought I would never do those things again. I had believed that we were soul mates before we had really even had a chance to figure each other out.
Was our relationship reparable though? He had done more than just leave me when he disappeared. He had caused me more pain than I ever could have imagined was possible previously, essentially he had almost killed me repeatedly by staying away from me. He had hurt the other members of the family too, breaking Alice and Esme's heart when he refused contact with anyone.
"I don't know Rosalie... I really don't." I said in reply and she nodded her head in understanding.
"What about you? Are you still pissed off at him?" I asked curiously, wanting to talk about something other than myself for a minute.
"I've been pissed off with Edward for one thing or another since the day I woke up from the change." she laughed lightly and nudged my shoulder, her humor effectively helping to lighten my mood.
"Do you want to head back now?" she asked and I continued to stare down at the water.
"Yeah, let's head back." I stood up slowly, feeling shaky on my legs as the pain pulsed out of my chest and throughout my limbs.
I concentrated on taking one step at a time and turned around, gasping in surprise when I saw Rosalie crouched down and staring at something behind me, a snarl ripping out from as I whipped around, my body reflexively copying her movements, looking for whatever threat that she had sensed.
Looking through the trees I couldn't detect whatever had Rosalie suddenly distressed so I opened up my other senses, my nostrils flaring as I breathed in the poisoned air, the smell making me hiss as it made it's way to my nose. I continued to search for the owner of the hideous scent when the animals made their way through the tree line and into our visibility.
I recognized them at once, a memory of Jacob, shifting instantly from man to massive wolf in front of me reminding me of what these creatures were.
"Carlisle... we're North of the house by the river, wolves." Rosalie's words were quick as she moved the phone to her ear, Carlisle not replying before she hung up the phone.
The wolves were moving slowly closer to us, spread out and beginning to circle as we also moved, our backs now to each other as we decided what our best move was. Rosalie knew that I wouldn't be able to run right now, I was barely able to walk on my own. But she also knew that I couldn't fight.
"What do they want?" I hissed at her, not understanding why they were acting so threatening towards us. As far as I knew, we were still on Cullen land and they were the ones who shouldn't be here.
"The treaty." she replied and I thought back to what they had explained to me when I had first moved in and asked questions about the Cullen's relationship with the wolf pack.
"Shit." I replied as realization dawned and I braced myself for their attack. We were outnumbered. Rosalie and I against five wolves... I knew who would win this fight.
The wolves didn't attack though, instead they continued to circle around us, spread out enough that if we attempted to run, they would be able to catch us easily and I looked at Rosalie in confusion. Why weren't they attacking, why were they paused as though waiting for something.
"We wish to speak with Carlisle Cullen." I whipped my head back around and stared at the man who was making his way out of the trees, stepping up beside one of the giant wolves, pausing about a foot in front and to the right of it.
"He's on his way." Rosalie hissed at him and I gulped loudly, hoping this meant that they weren't going to kill us.
The seconds ticked by as we stayed motionless, both sides ready to move at any change to the other side. Finally I felt the air change as I heard the others approaching, flying across the river and joining Rosalie and I, forming a defensive line around us, Carlisle taking his place at the front.
"Carlisle Cullen?" the man asked and he took a step forward, not crouching as though to attack, but his position still defensive.
"Yes." he said simply as the other man also stepped forward.
"We have come to speak to you as we know that Isabella Swan is a vampire now, when only weeks ago she was still a human. If she was changed by one of your coven, then the treaty made between our ancestors and yourselves is void." he spoke coldly and I fought back a hiss.
"As far as our family is concerned, the treaty was voided when one of your members broke it by kidnapping and hurting a member of our family. Isabella is now and has been since she made the decision to live with our family Isabella Cullen. The treaty extended to her protection and Jacob Black broke it." Carlisle replied back just as coldly and I flinched at the mention of his name.
"Do you admit then that you knowingly broke the treaty as it still stood to us, when you inflicted your bite of death on the human Isabella?" the man asked and Carlisle nodded.
"Yes, we did change Bella in order to save her life." Carlisle defended and the wolves all began to growl, some of them pawing at the ground as though just waiting for the command to attack.
"The protection of the Treaty of the Cold Ones no longer applies." it was as though he had told them to attack and I watched in horror as he himself transformed instantly into a large wolf, joining his pack in their launch towards our family.
Chaos erupted instantly all around me and I prepared myself to have to fight to have to defend myself against one of these massive creatures whose teeth could rip me to shred in seconds. But it never happened. Rosalie stayed with me as every other member of my family engaged with a wolf, the numbers too evenly matched for my liking.
It was only seconds later that I heard a loud howl and turned to see Jasper with his arms around the mammoth creature. The bones shattering instantly in his grip, the animal collapsing as death claimed it, surprised when the animal changed back from it's wolf form, revealing a young boy, no more than fifteen in it's place.
A second howl erupted from the other side of the field and I watched as a repeat of the scene unfolded, this time it was Emmett that was crushing the creature, the boy had never had a choice in this life collapsing to the ground.
"Stop." Again I turned my head to see Edward facing off with a wolf. But they were no longer engaging in battle as the others around us also quieted.
"The wolves wish to surrender." Edward spoke out before several members of our family hissed in response.
"Go." Carlisle said simply and I looked to him in amazement, not understanding why he would allow them to leave after they attacked us, their intent to kill us all very clear.
The family began to make their way back to where Rosalie and I were still standing, watching as the wolves picked up their fallen members and carried them out of the clearing quickly.
"Carlisle?" Emmett questioned angrily.
"The surrendered, there's no reason why we should have continued the fight." he said, his voice full of authority.
"They attacked us!" Emmett scoffed and I folded my arms across my chest, showing my agreement.
"Enough. They won't be coming back on our land." Edward growled out.
"Let's all head back to the house." Esme suggested putting her arm around me and pulling me forward.
The tension was thick after the confrontation with the wolves, everyone having an opinion on whether we should have continued to fight or let them go. I didn't want to be a part of the bickering any longer and as soon as we got back to the house went upstairs to my bedroom to clean myself up and change into a new outfit.
As I finished my shower and dried my body off I glanced in the mirror, taking in the crimson color of my eyes quickly flicking my gaze to the rest of my face, wondering what the wolves had seen when they first saw me.
Had they seen a girl at all? Any bit of the human girl that I had once been? Or was I completely different now? Just another monster that they were set on killing. And what did Edward see?
I looked down my face, at my newly defined features, the perfect complexion, shiny hair, perfectly filled out body. I had no more scars littering my skin, something that I was still getting used to myself. There was no more physical evidence of the torture that Charlie and Jacob had put me through, no more stretch marks reminding me of the brief encounter I'd had of pregnancy. The only scar remaining, the silver crescent where Rosalie had bitten me on my wrist, changing me, saving me.
Sighing I continued to towel dry my body, dressing in the clothes that I had pulled from the closet, realizing that I didn't even know myself anymore, so how could I decide whether or not I wanted Edward to know me?
A/N: I know I promised talking between B & E in this chapter but I was wrong, I forgot that this chapter was next, but next chapter will be more conversations, some E& B alone time, chatting with Jasper etc... Enjoy!