Our so-called lives

Disclaimer: See ch1.

June 2021;

"I hate him! I bloody hate him!"

Rose looked up from her Potions textbook in complete alarm as Meera burst into the Ravenclaw dormitory late one Tuesday afternoon, tears streaming down her face, her lips wobbling uncontrollably. "I hate him!" she yelled again dramatically, clearly not caring who heard her shouts. Luckily, Rose was the only sixth year student present but she voiced enough concern for several other girls.

"Gods, Meera, what on earth's the matter?" she asked frantically, casting the book to her bedside table, jumping up and instantly rushing to her friend's side.

The other girl threw herself on her cluttered bed in a whirl of robes and limbs, burying her face in her pillow and pummelling it hard, shoving a mountain of clothes viciously out of the way. "Mmmph…mrmem…meh," was what it sounded like she said.

Roses' eyebrow raised dubiously, her freckled face etched in concern; "Meera, you might need to repeat that."

Meera lifted her head, gulping in air and trying to get a hold of herself; "Lorcan… he… he just broke up with me!" she spluttered almost hysterically, before breaking into fresh wails and burying her pretty face in her pillow once more.

Roses' blue eyes widened in both alarm and shock, uncertain as to whether she had just heard her correctly or not, as she sat down beside Meera, placing a comforting hand on her arm. Lorcan and Meera… over? They were the golden couple of the school, for Merlin's sake! They'd been going out since… well, forever! If Meera got dumped, well quite frankly, there was no hope for Rose of ever having a boyfriend. Sweet sixteen and she'd still never been kissed.

"Oh Meera," Rose just didn't know what to say as she bit her fingernail tersely, realising words of comfort seemed futile when Meera was obviously so distraught, "I'm so sorry…"

Meera sobbed broken-heartedly, her shoulders shaking, "he—he said he needed to concentrate on his career---" she sniffled as she recalled the conversation she'd just had with the Scamander twin in the grounds, "with his new job at Weasley's coming up next year--- he said he doesn't think he's going to have time for a girlfriend anymore…"

"Oh," Rose said, beyond surprised that Lorcan had given thought to anything other than his social life and having fun for a change; "I see."

The impulsive, daring Scamander twin, who had spent most of his six years so far at Hogwarts purchasing goods from her Uncle George's shop and using them on both the students and teachers (and also Peeves on occasion), had impressed her Uncle with his tenacity and pranking knowledge the previous May after encountering him in the Hogsmeade store the Saturday after Lucius Malfoy's trial. Her uncle had given him his business card and said that if he was interested in furthering his familiarity with the shop's merchandise, then to contact him. Lorcan had evidently done so, for three months later, George had offered him a job at the shop, upon his graduation from Hogwarts, which was to take place in less than a year now.

Rose still found it hard to believe that next July her Hogwarts education was to be over for good. The very thought filled her with incredible sadness though she was highly excited about her future of course. She'd applied for a place at L'Institut Magique in Paris to study Potions and was waiting to hear from them for a preliminary acceptance, dependant on the outcome of next years N.E.W.T exams. She also had two back-up choices; L'Académie Magique d'Education in Lille and L'Académie de sorcellerie d'Excellence in beautiful Brittany. Admittedly, she wasn't quite as keen on the latter as it was an all girl's university, though her father much seemed to prefer that option.

Lorcan Scamander was, much to everyone's amusement however, going to be Weasley's Wizard Wheezes new Marketing Manager and Product Tester for their recently opened Edinburgh store. An ideal career for the mischief maker, granted and he was indeed incredibly lucky to have such a job option already open to him already instead of trying to fight his way into an already overcrowded apprenticeship at the Ministry, but Rose was now so sorry that her friend had been so hurt by Lorcan's admirable concentration on his burgeoning career.

Meera wiped her eyes and rubbed at her snotty nose, leaving a smear of sticky mascara over the back of her hand and black marks on her cheekbones like some sort of tribal war paint. "I love him!" she wailed valiantly with all the wisdom of a sixteen-year-old girl left broken-hearted for the very first time.

Rose just didn't know what to say. Finally she managed a gentle smile as she pulled out a clean handkerchief and handed it to her friend; "go ahead and have a good cry," she urged softly, "that always makes me feel better if I'm down. Then, after that we'll wander down to the kitchens and see if the house elves can give us some pumpkin ice-cream, alright? There's nothing better for heartbreak than calories my mum always says. Then after that, I'd recommend more crying and lots of chocolate. I have a stash of Honeydukes finest in my trunk- don't tell Lily. Afterwards, try not to think about him for no more than ten minutes a day- we have our final year at Hogwarts to enjoy in a few months, don't forget!" Not to mention N.E.W.T.S to concentrate on, though she didn't mention next year's exams to her friend. She got the definite impression Meera wouldn't appreciate that kind of talk at the moment. Prefect or not.

Meera sniffled as she dried her eyes, feeling somewhat bad that she hadn't been there for Rose as much as she should have been lately- she'd been much too preoccupied with Lorcan, the big bloody git; "thanks Rose," she said gratefully between choked sniffs.

Rose pulled her into a tight hug; "you're welcome."

HPHPHPHPHPHP

As the end of the friends' sixth year at Hogwarts fast approached, Scorpius rapidly became aware that once he headed home for the summer holidays, his father would almost certainly turn his attentions to what he would be doing after his graduation next July. As it happened, Scorpius had a few ideas in mind, idea's he'd been liberally discussing with Rose for months on end now but plans he'd not yet voiced to his father. He honestly wasn't sure how Draco would take the ideas he had and his stomach welled with nerves whenever he thought of discussing them with him. Scorpius wasn't a procrastinator. Well, maybe he was about certain things, but with good reason...

Much to the others chagrin, whilst Rose and Scorpius seemed closer than ever in their sixth year, their friendship had still to blossom into anything more even though they spent practically all their time glued at the hip. It was rare that you saw one without the other anymore- even the teachers knew that if you found one, you would find the other and would have been rather funny had it not been so bloody infuriating to those around them; to Phillius especially, who suspected he would be losing money from the wager soon. The situation was causing the group no end of frustration actually, though as Lysander and Albus had both said, with Rose most likely off to university in Paris next year, it would be a while before anything would actually happen. Scorpius for the most part hadn't voiced his feelings for her yet and if Rose felt the same (which they all suspected she did and was just better at hiding it or maybe she just didn't realise) she wasn't being particularly vocal about it either.

"Did you hear about Meera and Lorcan?" Rose asked Scorpius as she plopped down beside him at the table in the great hall at tea that evening. She was already stuffed full of butterscotch chocolate and pumpkin ice-cream and groaned as she surveyed the heaving dishes spread out before them, before helping herself to a very tiny piece of steak and kidney pie and one sole broccoli floret.

"What's up with you?" Scorpius asked incredulously, looking at the small morsel on her plate in disbelief. It wasn't like Rose not to scoff down steak and kidney pie and Hogwarts pie was brilliant- almost as good as his mum's had been.

"Break-up comfort food," Rose replied, pushing a forkful of pie crust around her plate and feeling decidedly sick. "I ate a lot of chocolate and ice-cream this afternoon. I probably won't sleep tonight with all the sugar."

"Meera and Lorcan broke up?" Scorpius asked with visible concern as he immediately caught on, his grey eyes startled by the news, "is she ok?"

Rose felt a tiny stab of jealousy welling up in her stomach all of a sudden, seeing his worried expression. Then she told herself she was merely being silly; it was probably just indigestion. What did she care if Scorpius was worried about Meera? The two prefects were friends after all. And Scorpius was allowed to have other friends beside her, wasn't he? Girls as friends. Not girlfriends. So what if they spent a few nights a week patrolling the school together… alone…

Rose took a vicious bite of her pie, trying to calm down and quell her dangerous thoughts. "I think she'll be fine," she reasoned trying to keep her voice deliberately neutral, "she just needs a good cry. She's up there charming Lorcan's head out of every photo she ever took of him at the moment though. It might take a while."

"Ah," Scorpius said appraisingly. His eyes flickered over to the Gryffindor table where Lorcan was sat eating his meal with Albus and Phillius. He didn't look too cut up about the breakup, but Scorpius knew how much he was focusing on his job next year- he'd been talking about it for ages. Part of Scorpius admired him for wanting to concentrate on it so thoroughly but part of him suspected that the Gryffindor had been glad of the excuse of breaking up with Meera in the process- an act decidedly more Slytherin than his own house admittedly. Lorcan had confessed a few weeks ago that the new job meant everything to him and he didn't want any distractions. Seemingly Scorpius' fellow prefect had been one of those distractions. The though saddened him for he knew that if it had been he and Rose in such a situation, he would have tried absolutely everything to balance the two fairly.

Scorpius sighed gloomily, doubting that would ever happen now. Every time he plucked up the courage to finally tell her how he was feeling, he chickened out or something got in the way. Well, mostly he chickened out if he was honest. He was a wimp, definitely.

Scorpius' eyes drifted further down the Gryffindor table to where Hugo was glaring menacingly at Lorcan as he ate his own meal, the redhead's blue eyes flashing mutinously. "Oh, your brother will be pleased that Meera's back to being a free agent I reckon."

"Yeah," Rose said agreeably; "I think he'd hex Lorcan if he could get away with it. Too many teachers around now though."

"Things are going to be awkward for a bit, aren't they?" Scorpius realised, "with Meera and Lorcan and the rest of us in the group…"

"Yes," Rose said with a frown, wondering why he seemed to be so bloody interested in Meera all of a sudden. Why had he said her name first like that? What had made him mention her name rather than Lorcan's? Paranoia welled in her as she eyed him suspiciously.

Then it hit her. Rather like a bludger to the head.

Gods, what if he fancied Meera? Rose thought wildly, the sudden panic rising in her chest and almost choking her as she set down her fork in horror. Not that she'd blame him if he did, Meera was sweet and pretty, but that would be positively unbearable to watch- Scorpius and her together. She could imagine it vividly. They'd hold hands and be kissing in the corridors...

Rose broke out into a cold sweat at the very thought of it, though she didn't know why. No, she couldn't let that happen. Definitely not. It was-- the principle of the thing! Yes, that was it.

The bloody principle.

Rose had principles too and they certainly didn't involve seeing Meera and Scorpius together at any time in the near future.

The words were suddenly leaving her mouth before she was unable to stop them- cold and blunt, running away with her before her mind could fully catch up or even process what she was actually saying. "Well, that's exactly the reason why friends shouldn't go out with other friends. It destroys the harmony of any group. Doesn't it?"

As she shovelled in another forkful of food, pleased and feeling proud she'd seemingly put him off asking Meera out should he have wanted to, she didn't even notice the stricken expression crossing Scorpius' face as he eyed her in silent disbelief.

...

"Are you alright, mate?" Lysander asked with concern as he entered the Ravenclaw boys' dorm late that evening, only to find Scorpius sat silently on his bed, gazing miserably into space in the half darkness. He'd been in a bit of a funny mood all evening actually, quiet and sullen- just not himself. He'd by-passed on the game of wizardopoly and hadn't even seemed interested in helping Rose with her French which was highly unusual. He'd merely brooded instead.

"I'm fine," Scorpius lied blithely.

"Yeah, I can see that's true," Lysander remarked, hunting in his drawer for some clean pyjamas and his toiletry bag. "What's up? Is it Rose?"

Scorpius flushed and looked down at his toes uncomfortably. "Sort of," he admitted awkwardly. "Um, in a manner of speaking I suppose."

Gods, this was like pulling teeth. Lysander eyed him with mild irritation, knowing he'd undoubtedly have to drag the tale of sorry woe from him. "Sort of?" he echoed skeptically, sitting down on his own bed.

"Ok, it's Rose," Scorpius confessed in a rush, lowering his voice so none of the others in the room could hear him; "tonight-- she said that she didn't think it was a good idea for friends to go out with other friends, that's all. That it-- 'destroy's the harmony of a group,' that was what she said, the exact words she used."

Lysander was startled; "Rose said that? What on earth brought that on?"

"We were talking at tea, you know, after Meera and Lorcan broke up," Scorpius reflected, "it was a bit strange actually, the way she just came out with it like that, but I just can't believe she thinks that at all! It just... threw me a bit I suppose."

Lysander was perplexed; "me either."

"I was-- thinking of telling her," Scorpius' ears were red with embarassment as he finally alluded to his feelings for Rose openly, "only I can't now, can I? Not after what she said. Merlin, I wish I wasn't so bloody rubbish with girls."

"It would be a bit of a faux pas to come out and tell her now," Lysander agreed soberly, "I don't know why she said that either, but obviously she's wrong- I mean being friends first is the best basis for any relationship, isn't it? That's what I'd think anyway, though I don't know much about girls either. I'm usually too busy daydreaming to think about girls at all, actually."

Scorpius smiled genuinely at this and was reminded once more why Lysander was such a good friend of his- he was so down to earth and honest. "You've known for a while, haven't you? About me liking Rose I mean."

"Ages," Lysander said frankly, not bothering to hide his smug smile.

"What do you reckon I should do?" Scorpius asked, hoping for some words of wisdom, suitable advice... anything. He'd take whatever he could get at the moment.

"If it was me," Lysander began, then hesitated uncertainly. Gods, this would no doubt incur the wrath of the others, especially with the little wager they had going on, but he truly didn't want his best mate looking like a fool by blurting out his true feelings. Not if Rose had stated point blank that she didn't think friends should get together. He imagined there was some degree of logic behind her reasoning after all, but she and Scorpius were different, surely? They were closer than close. He'd ponder the theory another time.

"Yes...?" Scorpius prompted unsurely.

"I suppose I'd leave it for a while," Lysander said honestly; "mate, I'd have been all for you telling her before, honestly. We all probably would, but not with what Rose just said tonight, it sort of puts a downer on things and you'll probably come out of it looking like an idiot in the long run."

"Oh..." Scorpius said pensively, then he sat up straighter replaying Lysander's words; "what do you mean, 'all probably would?!'"

Lysander smirked as he finally dropped the bombshell on the panic-stricken teen, "Scorp, it's hardly a secret, you liking Rose. Sorry mate, but whenever you look at her, it's written all over your face. You get this dopey smile and your eyes go all glazed, a bit like you're under the imperius or something. We've all known for ages. Admittedly, I figured it out first, but now everyone knows. They worked it out when you hugged her after the trial last year. It was a bit too... friendly if you know what I mean."

Mortified, Scorpius put his head in his hands; "oh," he said weakly as his pale cheeks flooded with violent heat. Merlin, everyone knew! They had done for months and months! How utterly humiliating. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again. So much for him being subtle.

"Well, everyone aside from Rose that is," Lysander added this helpfully as an afterthought though it didn't exactly reassure him, "I don't think she has a clue. Really Scorp, its fine. Don't worry."

"Yeah," Scorpius echoed bleakly as he closed his eyes and felt the waves of embarrassment wash over him, "fine. Of course it is."

HPHPHPHPHP

"Scorp?" Draco knocked gently on his son's bedroom door three days after the summer holidays began; "Scorp, can I come in?"

"Mmm hmm," Scorpius replied vaguely, completely absorbed in his textbook as he curled up on his bed, surrounded by scraps of parchment and worn- down quills. He was revising for his N.E.W.T.S already, determined to get in a good start- he'd seen how wrecked James Potter had been the term before and Scorpius like Rose, wanted to make a good headway into his revision. Maybe he was starting a bit early, admittedly, but revision was a welcome distraction from his never-ending thoughts about Rose. He still couldn't believe that she didn't think friends should go out with other friends. In his opinion, friendship was the best foundation for any relationship, but seemingly Rose thought differently. Any thoughts that Scorpius had had of admitting his true feelings to her had been quickly dispelled, much as it pained him to go back to burying his head in the sand again and trying to ignore it.

Draco pushed open the door and had to smile at the utter bombsite that was his son's bedroom. Usually it was fairly tidy, but revision papers and practice exam questions littered both the floor and the bed, yet still none of them gave him a clue as to what his son was planning on doing after graduation next year. That was why Draco was here: he wanted to know his son's plans for the future. He'd held off discussing it for a while, not wanting to remind his son of the bitter arguments with Lucius over his schooling and future careers, but he wanted to know now. In less than a year's time Scorpius would be graduating from Hogwarts and he still hadn't told his father what he wanted to do with his life.

He'd been remarkably secretive about the whole matter actually, though Draco sensed of course that he had some kind of plans, plans he'd probably discussed with Rose or Lysander in great depth actually. For his intelligent son, the possibilities for the future were endless, particularly since his exceptional O.W.L results the year before- Scorpius had gained "Outstandings" in all of his exams- and he was curious to know what Scorpius really wanted to do.

"Hi dad," Scorpius muttered distractedly, brushing his hair out of his eyes and leaving a big ink smear on his pale skin, which caused him to roll his eyes. "You alright?"

"I was more concerned about you," Draco sat down on the edge of the bed and cast a quick cleansing charm at his face, "Scorp, I wanted to talk to you about your plans after Hogwarts."

Scorpius set down his book and looked up at his dad, slightly fazed by his directness though he'd been expecting this of course. "Oh."

"I haven't wanted to push you," Draco began honestly; "the last thing I wanted you to think was that I was pressuring you or was in any way like—Lucius.." it still angered him to mention his fathers name even more than a year after the trials end and he unconsciously clenched his fists.

A small smile crept onto Scorpius' lips; "I know you aren't like him, dad," he said simply; "you can ask me stuff, don't worry about it. I don't mind."

Draco smiled with visible relief; "do you know what you want to do, son?"

After a moment's pause, Scorpius slowly nodded, fiddling with the end of his bright blue quilt. Draco braced himself to hear it. He was beyond surprised when Scorpius ventured almost timidly; "I'd like to go to a muggle university and study chemistry there. One day I want to brew my own potions to send out via mail order, or run my own apothecary and I think it would be good to have a basis in muggle potions, as well as wizard ones. Some of them are really useful after all."

Scorpius ducked his head in awkward embarrassment after this long announcement, his shock of shaggy blond hair falling in his eyes. Draco sensed he was rather uncertain about the reaction to the revelation and had to smile at how alike they both were deep down. For all of his teenage years, Draco too had fought desperately to win his own fathers approval, even sacrificing his own happiness for that of his fathers. He knew that he would never ever make Scorpius feel the same way.

"I think that's a brilliant idea," he told his son honestly, glad he'd seemingly given it all some deep thought.

Scorpius lifted his head hopefully; "y—you do?" Relief shone in his eyes and his usually serious face lifted in a bright smile.

"I do," Draco confirmed, knowing that once upon a time, that wouldn't have been his response to such a proposal. People changed and thankfully he himself had, for the better. "Have you looked into applying to any universities in particular? Is there anything I can do to help? I imagine time's ticking away if you want to get applications in, isn't it?"

"It's a bit problematic," Scorpius admitted, and to Draco's amusement, he reached under his bed and pulled out a thick wad of muggle university prospectus's which he dumped on the bed, prospectuses he'd clearly been hiding. Draco had to wonder at Roses' input into all of this.

"Muggles have these exams called 'A2-Levels' which are sort of like N.E.W.T.S or O.W.L.S, without the magical aspect of course, but the application process is a bit bewildering. I've been reading up on it and it's so confusing. Even Rose thinks so," Scorpius paused for breath.

I knew it, Draco thought with amusement. Wait till he spoke with Potter about this.

"You need a certain amount of points to get into a specific university course and the points relate to those A-Level thingies. A particular grade is worth a certain amount of points. Kind of like 'O for outstanding' I think, but in muggle terms, an A is brilliant!" He frowned, "I think that's what I understand of the basic premise anyway. The only thing I'm not sure of is how to by-pass the muggle university acceptance system, being a wizard and all."

Draco ruffled his son's blond hair with a grin, absolutely fascinated by his son's vast knowledge and interest in muggles yet finding to his surprise that he didn't mind one little bit; "trust you to be fifty steps ahead. Don't worry Scorp, you won't be the first wizard to study under muggles, I guarantee there's a way around it. Maybe I can even speak to McGonagall for you. She knows everything. We could even go and visit some of these universities if you want to this summer. Let you have a proper look to make an informed decision. I'm sure I can pretend to be a muggle for a couple of days at least, though their taste in fashion is somewhat dubious."

Scorpius smiled almost shyly; glad his father hadn't rejected his idea outrightedly as stupid and even more surprised he was willing to talk to McGonagall for him. That would be a big help, particularly if McGonagall knew some of the fellows at the universities he wanted to apply to or if there were indeed any wizards on the teaching staff there. He wasn't being big-headed but he hoped that he could successfully apply to either Oxford or Cambridge, England's oldest universities. They sounded positively brilliant. Rose had said he stood a really good chance of being accepted and the praise had made him happy. He was glad that she thought so.

"Most muggles start university when they're eighteen," he revealed now, in full flow with his idea and impassioned speech and wholly glad of his father's support too, "and I was thinking that I could maybe take a year out before I apply to my course and do some volunteer work overseas."

"Volunteer work? Overseas?" Draco was utterly astonished once more. At first his thought was that Scorpius wanted to go and join Rose in Paris, only he was surprised once more…

"Maybe in Africa?" Scorpius met his eyes hesitantly again- he really wanted to go, almost as much as he wanted to go to University no matter how much he'd miss being away from Rose, but he was worried about leaving his dad alone in the house by himself for a whole year; "I was reading about how poverty is rife there and how muggles have really appalling living conditions. They live in shacks and tiny little huts and some of them don't even have any food or drinking water so—"

"Whoa!" Draco held up his hands with a good natured grin which allayed Scorpius' fears instantly; "let me get this right: you want to go over to Africa and help out impoverished muggles?" his head was simply spinning at the revelation.

Scorpius nodded earnestly; "just for a year," he said quietly, feeling relieved; "if that's ok with you?"

Draco was startled by the fact his son had kept everything so quiet for such a long time; "You have everything planned," Draco was almost disappointed his son hadn't confided in him sooner, but could understand why he hadn't of course. He'd feared the response. He smiled sincerely at Scorpius; "I'm very proud of you, son."

And Scorpius knew he had his answer.

HPHPHPHPHPHP

A/N: Hmm, I think Rose shot herself in the foot a bit there. Oops! For those of you who are curious, there are about another six chapters of this story to go and fairly shortly, not accounting for the seventh year in the next couple of chapters, there will be another bigger jump forwards in time :)

Next chapter- its graduation at last and emotions are running a little bit high… oh, and Draco tries his best to freak out Ron.