A/N: Yes, daww, poor Alan. And this chapter there's the aftermath. Ron is trying to be reassuring, Alan's having bad dreams and Will and Ron finally talk, and we get a little of why Will hates demons. Yay. Thank you for your reviews, I love to hear from you, please keep them coming.

All Ronald really remembered was the world clearing to reveal Alan trapped between the two demons, one who looked just like him. He remembered watching for a moment as they touched him, kissed him, made him whimper and squirm desperately as they started to undress him. And he remembered the pain and terror of being in similar positions when he was a young demon. He remembered the terror and the guilt and second guessing himself every moment, what could have done to stop it? He remembered feeling disgusted and worthless and knew Alan needed his help but being unable to move. He remembered being tangled in webs as his owner undressed him, helped himself to his body and Ronald had convinced himself it was worth it as long as he wasn't killed. There was nothing he could do to stop. He watched Alan crying and knew he couldn't stop him feeling used and dirty and weak and violated, but he could stop him getting used to it. He could stop him feeling like this was his entire life, like it was all he was worth.

Ronald remembered forcing himself to his feet, watching the two demons with Alan and picking up the little reaper's scythe, knowing he couldn't let Alan suffer like he had. He'd reached for his double and driven the scythe into his back then pulled him away. Alan had been staring up at him in terror as he removed the head of the other demon. Poor terrified Alan. Only thinking of what those demon had done to Alan mentally and emotionally not just physically, Ronald had turned on his double.

He didn't remember anything else until Alan began crying into his shirt.

Alan was lying in his arms now, half asleep. He had been since he'd been released from hospital. There were no major injuries, and Ronald had long since healed the wound on his head that had left him so unresponsive. Opening his eyes slowly, he glanced at his watch. Almost eight. William was cutting it close. Where was he? Alan had told him they'd gone to London to find Grell. They should be back by now. And he might have said he didn't want to see William until eight, but he wouldn't have minded if he and Eric had come to check on them. Didn't they care what had happened? He couldn't believe they could be in the realm and not have heard at least rumours. Why weren't they here?

Alan whimpered softly and Ronald sighed, patting his head. Suddenly Alan's eyes snapped open and yanked back, eyes wide and scared as he stared back at Ronald. He leant forwards, gently stroking his cheeks, brushing away his tears. Alan settled slowly and pushed Ronald off gently, offering him a weak smile.

"When will it get easier, Ronald?" he whispered hoarsely. "When does it stop hurting? When am I going to stop feeling like this?"

"I couldn't tell you," Ronald murmured, glancing away. "I don't know."

"You said you'd been through this, Ronald," Alan said, crawling over and sitting with him, gazing up at him desperately. "How did you get over it?"

Ronald smiled weakly. "I didn't. I let it swallow me up… until I met William…"

Alan blinked up at him in confusion and Ronald sat back, quietly explaining to him about his past, just as he had with William the night before. This time he didn't bother with the details of his change, or his time with Hannah, this time he focused in his time in the webs, going into more detail than he had for William. Alan listened quietly, holding his hand and staring up at him, listening intently. At first he'd tried desperately to stop it, but pretty soon he figured out it wasn't going to stop. He was stuck. He stopped believing he could be worth anything more. By the time Sebastian had save him, he didn't even care what he wanted from him. It didn't really matter anymore. That's how he'd ended up with a job like that. William's affection was completely new to him. No one had ever loved him. Well, his family had but they didn't really count. William made him feel like maybe he was worth more than that.

"Ronald," Alan whispered, squeezing his hand. He glanced up and Alan smiled, brushing away his tears. Ronald blushed heavily and Alan's smile softened slightly. "I'm so glad we found you."

"W-why?" Ronald said, staring down at him in disbelief. No one had ever been glad to have him around before. At least, no one who didn't want to use him for something. "I don't understand."

"Because I… if we hadn't found you, you'd still be out there," he replied. "No one should be used like that. You might be a demon but you were selling your body. Someone paid for your first time. How could anyone…" He slid his arms around his neck and Ronald was sure he felt tears against his shirt again. "Please, Ronald, promise you'll never do that again. Promise you'll never go back to that." He hugged him close and Ronald frowned. He slid his arms around him gently and Alan sniffed slightly, raising his head to gaze up into his eyes. "You must never go back to that life. Never. Promise me."

"Alan, I would but…" His little fists clenched against his shirt and Ronald sighed. "This war won't last forever. I won't be allowed to stay after that."

"But you don't have to go back to selling yourself," Alan said desperately. "You're a demon, you can just summon up whatever you want to have. Ronald, not one should have to do that. You can stay. Just turn into a cat and stay with us. With William." Ronald frowned and glanced away. "Ronald, you do love him, don't you?"

"I… I, uh…" Ronald stammered, struggling to find an answer. He didn't know. He thought he did but he didn't know. "Maybe?"

"Maybe? Ronald, he loves you," he snapped, turning him back to face him. "If you don't love him too it's just cruel to keep stringing him along. Do you love him or not?"

"I-I don't know!"

"What's not to know?"

"I've thought I've been in love before. It only ever ends in heart break. And like I said, I'll just have to leave him eventually. I can't stay longer than this war requires. I'm not going to give my heart to him when it's never going to last. It's easier this way."

"It's ok to be scared, Ronald," Alan argued. "You're a good person, you protected me, after everything else, you deserve this. You deserve some happiness."

Ronald was about to answer but there was a knock on the door. Ronald got up slowly, glancing at his watch. Nearly quarter to nine. William was in so much trouble. He opened the door and Eric pushed him aside, hurrying over to Alan. William paused in the doorway, watching Ronald nervously.

"What are you doing in here?" Eric said gently, sitting with him. "I was worried about you. Come on, it's not safe to be around him."

"What?" Alan cried, shoving him away. "Where've you been?"

"Out looking for Grell, we ran into Sebastian, we've only just got back," he said. "What's wrong?"

"Just go away," he whispered.

"Alan? Alan what's happened? What's wrong?"

"Please, I don't want to talk about it, just go."

"Alan?" Eric said quietly. He reached for Alan's hand but Alan whimpered and slapped his hand away, tears dripping down his cheeks. "Sweetheart, please."

"Don't' call me that! Just go, Eric!" Alan cried, glaring up at him through his tears. "Get out! Go!"

Eric stayed for a long moment before slowly nodding and leaving silently. William was still waiting silently until Ronald tugged him in and shut the door behind him, quickly climbing back onto the bed and hugging Alan tightly.

"It's ok," he whispered. "Hey, hey, don't cry." Alan whispered and gripped his top tighter, closing his eyes and letting tears stream down his cheeks. "I thought you'd be pleased to see Eric."

"I don't want him to see me like this," Alan whined. "How am I supposed to tell him what happened? He'll never want to touch me again."

Sobbing weakly, he snuggled against him. William sat in the armchair across from the bed, watching silently as Ronald tried to calm Alan down, maybe get him to sleep. He closed his eyes slowly, resting his chin on Alan's head and refusing to even look at William. Alan didn't deserve this. He was so sweet and kind. Actually, he did remind Ronald of himself before he became so bitter and disenchanted with the world. It was a good half hour before Alan calmed and Ronald glanced down to find him sleeping soundly. Smiling softly, he shifted Alan's weight, slipping off his tie, jacket and waistcoat and loosening a few buttons on his shirt before tucking him in and turning to William.

"What happened?" William said quietly.

"Demons have infiltrated the realm," Ronald said. William frowned. "I don't remember much. I was knocked out and one of them was impersonating me. We were nearly taken out the realm and Alan was moments away from-" He stopped himself and glanced away as William got up and came over. "Like I said, I don't remember much. Where were you?"

"Eric and I ran into Sebastian," he replied. "We were both… defeated."

"Sebastian? Why can't you just let him be? Stop getting into fights with him," he muttered.

"He threatened you."

"He won't damage me, I'm too useful, he's doing it to get to you and it looks like you're stupid enough to play into his hands."

William opened his mouth to argue but Ronald glared over and he shut it again. He wasn't in the mood to get into an argument. Sighing, he sat on the edge of the bed as William move to stand in front of him, stroking his hair. It should have been him they did that to. He wouldn't have been so affected. He was used to being abused and molested. He'd been so sick of demons wanting to corrupt that pureness they all seemed to think his soul had he'd got unbelievably drunk and gone to bed with a human. The first human to ever leave money. Even humans used him. Alan was worth something, he was young and had so much faith in life, he was better than that. It shouldn't have happened to Alan.

"When I was fresh out the academy, I was assigned to a senior partner," William said quietly. Ronald lifted his head slowly. The reaper wasn't watching him as he adjusted his glasses and Ronald slowly reached around his waist reassuringly. Swallowing heavily, William glanced down at him before he continued. "I'd barely been on the job for a week when a group of about five demons ambushed us. I watched my partner beg and plead for his life, and then…" He paused and all Ronald could think to do was leant against his stomach, trying his best to reassure him and help him continue. "He traded my life for his. In his begging and pleading he told them they could take me, do whatever they wanted with me and he'd say I just got lost. Next thing I knew they'd grabbed me and pulled me away and I was thrown onto a bed and left there. I'd never come across demons before, I didn't know what to do.

"For days I sat there, not fed, not sleeping, just sitting on the bed, listening to my partner screaming and knowing that when his body gave out they'd come for me. I think it was about five days when the screaming finally stopped and I heard them coming up the stairs for me."

"I-I'm sorry, William," Ronald whispered, pulling William down to sit with him. "I didn't know. I guess that's why you hate me so much."

"I don't hate you," William said, adjusting his glasses.

"You won't kiss me in public," he argued. "You don't want me to touch you unless we're alone. You barely talk to me and when you do you refuse to even call me by my name loud enough for anyone to hear." He lifted his eyes slowly, holding William's gaze and refusing to back down on this. He sympathised with William's story, he understood why he found it difficult, but refusing to face the issue wasn't going to make it any better. William might not have thought it was serious, but it hurt. "Either you hate me and want me to feel as small and insignificant as possible while you use me for sex or you're ashamed to be seen with me."

"It's not like that at all, Ronald," he said quietly, cupping his cheek. "I didn't think it would upset you so much. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that. Eric and Alan have told me that it was probably rather embarrassing for you."

"Probably?" he snapped, folding his arms. "William, last night when I said you didn't love me you told me I was wrong. So, you might not have said it, but it leaves me to assume you are in love with me but you've been treating me like I'm a monster. Of course it's embarrassing when they man who seems to love you one minute is shoving you off like you're the most disgusting creature in the world the next. Why that needed Eric and Alan to tell you that is beyond me. I know you're not exactly an emotionally sensitive, people person but are you really that detached from everything you don't understand how much that hurts?"

William lowered his head and nodded slightly. "I won't deny it, Ronald, I've never been particularly attached to anyone emotionally before, at least, as anything more than a friend. I've never been close to anyone. Forgive me, Ronald, I'm going to make mistakes, but as long as you're willing to give me another chance I will keep trying to get this right."

"William…" he whispered. He sighed and nodded slowly. "I just want to feel like you're not ashamed of me. I've spent long enough as the dirty little secret and bit on the side. I thought being with you would mean someone would finally acknowledge my existence in their life. I thought I meant something to you, William."

"You do," he said, pulling Ronald gently into his arms. He sighed and tipped Ronald's head up gently. "I won't let you feel like I'm ashamed of you again."

He lifted Ronald's head gently and went to press their lips together gently but Ronald shoved him back to the bed, pinning him down by the shoulders. William stared up at him and Ronald narrowed his gaze, shifting his grip and making William yelp. Ronald blushed and moved his hands inquisitively over his shoulders until William made the same quiet noise as before. Ronald's blush deepened. It was so cute. Pain and weak and… adorable, like William was just begging to be hugged and looked after. He'd never imagined cute and William would go together but there it was. Ronald pulled away his clothes until he found the wound on his shoulder that was quickly healing but had come open.

Smiling slightly, Ronald leant down over his shoulder, slowly lapping away the blood. William gasped softly as Ronald teased his tongue over his shoulder, slowly wrapping his arms around Ronald's shoulders. Much as Ronald could have spent all night with him, he still hadn't forgiven William for kissing Grell or pushing him away earlier. He sat up slowly, leaving William staring up at him.

"I haven't forgiven you for anything," he said firmly. "But Alan needs me right now and you need to help Eric."

William nodded slowly and got up. "I need to find Grell too."

Ronald nodded out of politeness. Grell could do what he liked. He'd tried to steal William from him, why should he care what he did? William readjusted his clothes and then his glasses before turning away and shutting the door quietly behind him, promising to return later, leaving Ronald to watch over Alan as he slept.

Alan smiled, running after Eric and Ronald through the woods. The pair of playful blondes were running on ahead and Alan was struggling to keep up through the forest trail. He tripped stumbled, all the while Ronald and Eric were just at the edge of his sight, calling for him to join them. He smiled and picked up the pace again. Finally the woods gave out to a large meadow. The crop, what looked like wheat only with beautiful purple blooms, had grown high above their heads. Eric and Ronald waved from the edge of the crops, both grinning and laughing and Alan waved back, running down the slope after them.

"Come on, Al," Ronald called up. "Keep up."

"You're so slow, Alan," Eric laughed. "Don't keep us waiting forever."

"I'm coming," Alan laughed. "I'm coming." As he neared them, the pair of blondes turned, running into the field and hidden from view in the crop. "W-wait… Wait!"

He ran into meadow after them, trying a find a trail to lead the way. The crop rose high above his head blocking the sky from view. It was dark and cold walking slowly through the meadow, calling for Eric and Ronald. A cold wind blew through the field and it seemed to get darker around him. Suddenly Alan grew wary. Something didn't feel right. He stopped and turned a slow circle. There was nothing but the crops.

"Ronald?" he called quietly, his voice little more than a whisper. "Eric? Please, this isn't funny." He tried to summon his scythe but nothing happened. He frowned and held his hand out again, concentrating as best he could, trying desperately to summon his weapon but still there was nothing. "Eric! Ronald!"

He spun quickly and a hand clamped over his mouth. Alan almost screamed finding himself in the arms of a demon, staring up into those burning red eyes and unable to say a word or fight back. It was one of the guards from the library.

"Now," he purred, pushing Alan back to the ground as he twisted and squirmed. "Where were we, sweet one?"

Alan cried and twisted desperately as the demon leant over him, smirking lewdly. This was a dream. It had to be a dream. It couldn't be real. The demon removed his hand from him mouth and Alan screamed for Ronald and Eric. They had to be here. They had to help him. He tried desperately to push the demon away but his hands were quickly caught and his wrists bound. Still, he struggled, kicking the demon in the chest as struggling to run as fast as he could from the demon but was quickly slammed to the ground once more and struck across the face.

"Don't make me hurt you," the demon said gently. Alan laid on the ground staring up at him as the demon slid down his trouser and underwear. "That's better."

"This isn't real," Alan whimpered. "This isn't real. You're dead. Ronald killed you. This isn't real!"

"Oh, I wish you wouldn't make so much noise," he said, leaning over and kissing his lips gently. "I like you better when you were quiet and well behaved." He smiled and nuzzled against his jaw as Alan pushed desperately against his chest, struggling as much as he could but just pressing against him, just as he had in the library. "Tell me, reaper, does this…" He ground his hips against Alan's, forcing him to bite back a moan as his hips bucked against his will. "…feel like a dream?" A few tears slipped down Alan's cheeks and he screamed for Ronald and Eric again. Why weren't they helping him? "Hmm, you can scream all you like, no one will hear you out here, but the more you scream, the rougher I'll be."

He sat back, slipping down his own clothes and forcing Alan's legs either side of him, holding his hips as he pressed against his entrance. Alan kicked and turned away desperately, trying to pull away but the demon slammed his hips to the ground, pulling him roughly back against him. A sharp, terrified scream tore from his lips and the demon growled, gripping his hips harder, a few pricks of blood showing from under his claws. It didn't stop him struggling though. This couldn't be happening. It had to be a dream. It had to be.

"Oh," the demon said with a sigh. "I suppose you like it rough then, sweetheart."

"Alan!" Ronald cried. Alan's vision was blurred and he lashed out blindly only for a hand to catch his wrist. "Alan, it's me!" Arms wrapped around him and a hand stroked his hair. "Shh, shh, it's ok. It's me, Alan, it's Ronald. Calm down. It's ok." Alan choked out a sob and he was held tighter. "It was a dream. It was all just a dream. I promise, Alan, it was just a dream. They can't hurt you."

It was Ronald. His glasses were slipped onto his nose and he looked up. It was Ronald. He threw his arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder. Why did they have to plague his dreams too? Why couldn't he just forget about it and never think about what they did to him… what they could have gone on to do to him again? Every dream brought the demon closer to fulfilling that threat. Every time he closed his eyes it seemed to get worse, he went further. Ronald shifted slightly, leaning back against the bedhead, holding Alan close. At least Ronald was there to help him.

Finally, the fear and pain subsided and he relaxed against Ronald's chest. The next time he drifted off, it was going to end with that demon on top of him, inside him. Whimpering softly, he gripped Ronald's shirt. What was he supposed to do? Reapers didn't need sleep, they could go without if they had to, but they did get tired. Without something to help keep him awake, he'd fall asleep again soon. He was going to fall asleep again and he'd end up stuck like that again.

"Feeling any better?" Ronald whispered. He nodded slowly. "William was worried about you."

"Are you two doing better?" Alan murmured. He was glad to have a distraction from the terror of his dream. Knowing they were dreams didn't make them any less painful. "Did you talk it out?"

"Yeah," Ronald said, nodding slightly. "I think it'll be better from now on."

"That's good," he said, smiling up at him. "Umm, can we do something? Go somewhere? I don't want to sleep again for a while." Ronald smiled and nodded, getting up and slipping on his shoes. "Thank you, for all of this."

"It's nothing," Ronald replied as Alan got up. "You're too good to end up like me."

Alan frowned and lifted his head from concentrating on his shoes. Ronald was waiting at the door, holding out a coat for him. He slid it on and took Ronald's arm as they walked out. The guards followed and Alan gripped Ronald's arm tighter. He didn't trust them anymore. He knew Ronald though. He knew his secrets and his nature. He knew how the demon hunted and killed. Chances were Ronald would only turn on him if he was a threat, and Ronald's targets were generally those who paid him for sex. He didn't intend to do that any time soon.

His mind wandered back to the conversation they'd had earlier. Ronald had to leave after the war. He'd be kicked out of the realm, treated like every other demon. He would go back to seeing people for sex. He'd abandon them. Would he even keep seeing William? Would he just move on and vanish from their lives forever? He'd become too attached to the little demon. Why couldn't they stay here? They could look after him. He could just stay in his cat shape and they could look after him. Why couldn't Ronald stay?

Ronald had protected him more than anyone. Where had Eric and William been? They hadn't been there to protect them. It had been down to him and Ronald. He knew Ronald had killed the demons and saved him, but Ronald had told him afterwards that he was barely awake a few moments. If Alan hadn't fought them and bought them time the demons would have taken them through the porthole straight away, Ronald wouldn't have woken up before they were imprisoned and it would have been too late. Ronald told him he'd saved both of them from a terrible fate. Alan wasn't sure it was Ronald being kind and trying to make him feel better or the truth but the idea made him feel a little better.

He supposed he'd have to talk to Eric eventually. Alan had no idea how he would deal with it but he could put it off a while. He held Ronald's arm gently and leant against him. Ronald was chatting away quietly, trying to distract him probably and Alan turned his thoughts back to figuring out how to help Ronald stay after his presence was no long needed. There had to be some way he could stay.