Chapter 21

Hikari's hands were sweating and she couldn't stop herself from fidgeting with anything that she could get her hands on. Her heart was stomping around in her chest so loudly that she thought it was echoing throughout the plug. Her plug suit felt like it was constricting her body and she kept pulling at it in an attempt to make herself a little more comfortable. Even though the simulation plugs that she had been practicing in almost every day were modeled after the actual plugs used inside Eva, the plug that she was currently in felt strange and alien to her. The LCL in the plug seemed intrusive and difficult to breath. The young teenager had tried just about everything she could think of to get herself under control, but she might as well have been trying to ride a wild horse.

Dr. Akagi spoke through the com system, "Hikari, are you alright? You're heart rate is a little elevated."

"I'm just a little nervous," Hikari responded in a shaky voice.

"There's nothing to worry about Hikari," Misato said in a soothing voice, "The simulation plug that you've been practicing in was modeled to operate as if you were actually operating Unit-03. You're gonna do fine."

"Ok…" Hikari said trying to sound confident.

"We're going to start the activation process soon Hikari," Ritsuoko said, "Are you ready?"

"Yes!" Hikari yelped.

Ritsuoko started typing commands into the computer to prepare the activation test. As Ritsuoko was typing on the keyboard she asked Misato, "Isn't today your day off? Did they call you in for the activation test?"

"Nah… I just came to show Hikari some support. Yui wouldn't let Shinji ditch school to be here at the activation test, so I thought I would try to help Hikari through the activation. What about you? Doesn't Dr. Ikari usually take charge of the activation tests?"

"She is the head scientist for everything involving the Evas, but she had some other stuff to take care of today and she asked me to oversee today's activation."

Misato nodded in understanding, then leaned over to Ritsuoko and whispered, "Have you found anything about Unit-01 being cloned from Adam?"

"Not much. There's something strange about the DNA pattern, but I'm not exactly sure what it is. This would go quicker if I could just run the DNA scan through the MAGI, but that would raise bells."

"Angel DNA resembles our own doesn't it?"

"Yes, but there's something in there that none of the other Angel's had encoded in their DNA. I'll tell you more about it once I find out more," Ritsuoko said and then turned on the mic to Unit-03. "Alright Hikari, we're about ready to start."

"Something doesn't feel right in here…"

Ritsuoko looked over the computer's diagnostics of Unit-03. "Everything looks normal Hikari, there are no abnormalities."

"Did you want to postpone the activation?" Misato asked.

"No! No, that's fine. I'm probably just imagining it."

Hikari took in a deep breath and released. Get yourself together! I've been working hard for this day! I just need to calm down and relax. Hikari started focusing on trying to sync with the Eva like she had practiced. As she focused on synching, she noticed there was inUnit-03 that was never in any of the simulations. Shinji had told her once that whenever he pilots Unit-01, he would impose his will on the Eva and force it to obey him. Asuka had never mentioned anything like that when she piloted Eva; she explained it more as connecting with Eva on a mental level. Perhaps this strange feeling in the plug was what it was supposed to be like to pilot an actual Eva?

When she tried to reach for the Eva with her mind, she heard children giggling all around her. Hikari's eyes popped open and found that she couldn't move. She tried to scream, but no sounds would come out from her mouth. The giggles around her started to grow louder and louder all around her. They weren't coming from anywhere inside the plug, but inside of her mind. She could slowly feel something seeping into the depths of her conscious and synching with her. The Eva was trying to take control. Hikari desperately tried to fight back to regain control of her body, but her conscious was just being pushed down. Darkness began to envelope her, and right before the darkness completely consumed her, she thought Shinji… I'm so sorry…

X-X

Shinji was frustrated and couldn't focus on the class. He had a huge argument with his mother the night before, because she wouldn't allow him to be present at the activation of Unit-03. He was certain that she would complete the activation test with no problems, but it irritated him that he wasn't there. He was so focused on his thoughts, and being upset at his mother's stubbornness that he didn't realize what was going on around him. He was snapped back to reality by a palm striking his desk.

"Baka third, stop worrying about the activation test," Asuka scolded, "Hikari will do fine whether you're worrying about it or not. So there's no point in fretting over something that you have no control over."

Shinji smiled at Asuka. He could always trust Asuka to slam him back down to reality whenever he needed it. "Yeah, you're probably right..."

"Of course I'm right Baka!" Asuka snapped, "Do you actually think I wouldn't know what I'm talking about?"

Shinji smiled at Asuka and said, "Of course not! You're the Great Asuka Langley Sorhyu."

Asuka smirked at Shinji and said, "Well since Hikari isn't here and you're moronic friend is off doing other things, let have lunch together." It took Shinji a moment to figure out if it was a command or a request. And Shinji figured that it was a request that Asuka expected to be accepted.

"Sure," Shinji replied cheerfully.

The two teenagers decided to eat lunch on the rooftop. They were the only two up there for the lunch hour. Shinji and Asuka settled on sitting near the gate that enclosed the rooftop area, both of them sat down and leaned against the chain link fence and pulled out their respective lunches. Shinji pulled out his bento that he made for himself, Rei and his mother every morning. The boy was a little surprised to see Asuka pull out a convenience store bento that didn't look very good or healthy.

"Asuka, what is that?" Shinji asked.

"What does it look like baka?" Asuka replied with an irritated look on her face, "It's my lunch."

"Well it looks like crap. Is this what you've been eating since you moved in with Misato?"

"Pretty much, lots of instant food and convenience store bentos. It's actually pretty good," Asuka said and started stuffing her face with rice and meat.

Shinji frowned at Asuka and said, "You shouldn't be eating so much of this junk food, all the sodium and cholesterol is bad for you. That's probably why you've been gaining a little…"

Asuka stopped eating immediately and glared at Shinji. "Gaining a little what Third!" Asuka growled.

Shinji coughed and cleared his throat before speaking, "Nothing… But from now I'll start making your lunches for school."

Asuka nearly choked on some of the rice that she had in her mouth. "You don't need to go through the trouble Baka. I'm fine with this stuff."

"Don't worry about it Asuka, I already make lunches for myself, Rei, and my mother. All I would be doing is using some extra ingredients so there's enough for a fourth person."

Asuka lowered her chopsticks and put down her bento and watched Shinji eat his lunch. Shinji was completely oblivious to what he had done to Asuka. Asuka's stomach started to fill with butterflies and she wasn't hungry anymore. She was extremely annoyed at everything that very moment, annoyed that she lost her appetite and annoyed at Shinji. She quickly threw her lunch back into the plastic store bag and stood up to leave.

"Asuka, where are you going?"

"I'm not hungry anymore. I'm going back to class."

Shinji quickly sprung to his feet and went after Asuka. He was able to grab her wrist before she made it to the door. "What's wrong Asuka? You always run away when something you can't handle is bothering you. You can talk to me about it."

Asuka tried to rip her arm away from Shinji, but his grip was too strong for her to break. Her heart was pounding so hard that she could feel the blood being pumped through her veins all throughout her body. Her eyes were getting watering as she desperately tried to hold back the tears. But she couldn't take it anymore, and something in her brain just snapped.

"IT'S YOU GOD DAMN IT! You're the fucking problem Ikari Shinji!" Asuka screamed as tears flooded down her cheeks, "I can't take it anymore! You're always so damn nice to me all the time and it only makes it harder and harder for me to be around you! Why can't you just be like everyone else and just be a dick to me instead! If you were like that then maybe I wouldn't have these stupid feelings that I keep trying to hide from everyone and myself! "

"Asuka… We're friends. Why would you need to hide that from anyone?" Shinji said with a smile.

"That's what I thought they were at first. You're the first real friends that I've ever had that actually understands me and cares about me, but it isn't friendship that I want from you. I want you Shinji, I love you..."

Shinji was speechless and his mind was still trying to grasp what Asuka had said to him. It wasn't something he ever expected to hear from her mouth, not towards himself at least. In the short time that Shinji had known Asuka, she had become his closest friend and found a way into his heart without him realizing it. It was true that he had special feelings for Asuka, but could he really say that it was love?

Shinji opened his mouth trying to say something, anything to end the silence between them. But before he could even work the words out of his mouth, they were interrupted by both of their cell phones ringing.

X-X

"Unit-03 is an Angel? What happened to Hikari? Is she alright?" Shinji demanded.

"Her status is unknown. The Magi recorded that her plug ejection was activated," Maya replied, "But we have no idea what happened to her after that."

"Where's Major Katsuragi?" Rei asked.

"For some reason she was at the activation site and we haven't been able to reach her since," Commander Fuyutski said, "I will be taking command of the operation in her place."

Fuyutski looked around the room to see if anyone had any objections, but if they did they weren't going to voice it and they weren't showing it either. Fuyutski turned to a map of the area that showed a red dot slowly moving towards their direction.

"The Magi are tracking the blue pattern that is being emitted from Unit-03. We will meet Unit-03 at this mountain pass, located here," Fuyutski said as the map zoomed in on the range of mountains. "Unit-03 is moving slowly, so we'll have time to set up all three Evas at this location. Shinji will engage Unit-03 in Unit-01 and hold the target's attention. Unit-00 and Unit-02 will flank Unit-03 as its attention is held on Unit-01 and destroy the target."

"What if Hikari is still inside Unit-03?" Shinji asked.

"If Pilot Horaki is still inside the Eva, we will make an attempt to retrieve her. But if the attempt fails, you will continue with destroying Unit-03. Killing the Angel is our highest priority, saving Pilot Horaki comes second."

"How can you say that!" Shinji hollered, "She's a person! We're just going to kill her just because it's inconvenient to save her!"

"Those are your orders!" Fuyutski said so loudly that made everyone in the room jump, "Get prepared to launch."

Fuyutski got up and left the room. Shinji's knuckles were bone white as he watched the Commander leave. He suddenly slammed his fist on the table and screamed, "This is bullshit! They can't expect us to just kill Hikari!"

Shinji felt a hand rest on each of his shoulders. He looked up to see Asuka and Rei standing beside him. "We won't let anything happen to Horaki-san," Rei said.

"She's my friend too, of course we're going to save her," Asuka said.

Shinji looked at Asuka and he was suddenly reminded of the confession she had dropped on him right before they got the call from Nerv. Asuka was a true friend to him, but his emotions suddenly became confused when she had confessed to him. Shinji would give her a straight answer, but for right now, they needed to go save Hikari.

It was the first time Shinji had seen Asuka and Rei in accordance on anything and it made him smile. He suddenly felt very confident that everything was going to work out since he had Rei and Asuka backing him up. Shinji stood up from his seat and faced the two girls.

"Let's do this," Shinji said, it was the most serious he had ever been about anything in his entire life.

X-X

All three Evas were in position, Unit-00 and Unit-02 hiding in the forested mountains and Unit-01 waiting in the middle of the pass. The sun was beginning to set in front of him, and he could see a single figure moving towards him in the distance. A dark figure that walked towards his location, moving calmly at its own pace. The black armor of Unit-03 gleamed in the light of the setting sun, it appeared more menacing than what Shinji had imagined. Unit-03 stopped walking, it stood a full kilometer away from Unit-01.

"I see something sticking up from the back of Unit-03's neck," Asuka said, "I think it's the plug, but it's covered in some nasty looking blue shit."

"It must be the plug, we're going to have to cut it out in order to release her," Rei said.

"Ok... I'm ready to eng..." Shinji said and trailed off when Unit-03 suddenly leapt into the air. Unit-03 was airborne, but by looking at its trajectory it wasn't going for Shinji in Unit-01.

"Rei look out!" Shinji screamed.

Unit-03 landed on all fours like an animal in the exact spot that Unit-00 was hiding. Rei barely had any time to dodge the Eva, she narrowly rolled away and quickly stood her Eva up. She discarded the rifle that she was carrying and drew her prog knife. The two Evas engaged in combat, and Unit-02 and Unit-01 ran as fast as they could to Unit-00's location. All of Rei's attacks were aimed for Unit-03's arms and legs. She didn't want to cause any serious injury to Hikari inside the Eva, and she hoped to reduce Unit-03's mobility and fighting capabilities. But Rei wasn't able to land a single strike on Unit-03, and she was taking heavy damage from the infected Eva. Unit-03 suddenly grabbed Unit-00's left arm and snapped the bone, Rei screamed and Unit-00 fell to the ground. Unit-03 mounted the fallen Eva and began pummeling it with punches.

"Rei!" Asuka screamed as she approached the two the Evas. Unit-02 jumped into the air and kicked Unit-03 directly in the face, knocking the Eva off of Unit-00. "Rei are you alright?" Asuka asked.

There was no response from Rei in Unit-00, and Unit-03 was quickly recovering from the kick to the face. Unit-02 rushed Unit-03 before it got a chance to get back on its feet, and kicked the infected Eva in the face again that sent the Angel flying back. The Angel flew back and landed on its face. Asuka ordered Unit-02 to draw it's prog knife and pounced on Unit-03's back. She was about to begin cutting the entry plug when Unit-03's shoulder pylons exploded, revealing a second pair of arm. Before Asuka could react, the arms grabbed Unit-02's neck and threw the Eva off. Unit-02 went flying through the air and crashed into the mountain side. Unit-03 quickly pursued the crimson Eva, but Unit-01 crashed into Unit-03 before reaching Asuka.

The two Evangelions rolled on the ground for a little and Shinji managed to grab onto the plug and started pulling it out. A pair of arms grabbed Unit-01's neck and forcefully pulled him away while another pair started pummeling him in the face. Shinji lost his grip on the plug and was forced to let it slip from his fingers. Unit-01 grabbed for the hands that were wrapped around his neck and desperately tried to loosen the grip around his neck. Shinji suddenly saw a flash of red and the black Eva released its death grip on Unit-01. Shinji noticed that Unit-01 was being held up by Unit-02.

"You ok Shinji?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah I think I'm fine..." Shinji said. His was spinning a little from the pummeling he had taken, he was recovering.

"Pilot Ikari... Pilot Sorhyu..." Fuyutski said over the com, "You are to desist from attempting to rescue Pilot Horaki and commence destroying Unit-03."

"We will not! We can still save her!" Shinji screamed.

"The original plan has backfired, Unit-00 is out of commission and we cannot risk further damage to Unit-01 and Unit-02."

"Go fuck yourself Commander! If that's the case, then I'll die saving her..." Shinji said and cut off his communication to Nerv. "Asuka turn off your communications to Nerv. We can save Hikari without their help."

"Shinji..." Asuka said and suddenly started laughing, "I never thought that you had it in you.." Asuka turned off her communication to Nerv as well, "They're going to give us hell when we get back."

"Fuck them," Shinji said in a cold tone, "They want us to kill Hikari." He could feel his blood boiling and anger rising as he thought about the order. Shinji couldn't stop himself from thinking about the ordered that enraged him so, and the more the thought about it the flames of anger continued to be fanned.

"Let's do it..."

Both Evas charged Unit-03. Unit-01 stepped in ahead threw a few quick jabs and a hook while Unit-02 side stepped around to deliver a roundhouse. Unit-03 took all the hits, but was completely unfazed. The black Eva kicked Unit-01 square in the chest and knocked him back and turned his attention on Unit-02. Unit-03 attacked Unit-02 with all four of its arms, Asuka couldn't defend against them and quickly fell into Unit-03's pace.

When Shinji got up, he was still a little dazed from the kick he had received. He searched for Asuka as he gathered himself and saw that Unt-02 was getting pummeled by Unit-03. Unit-01 quickly got to its feet and ran to where Asuka was. Unit-03 saw Unit-01 charging and grabbed up Unit-02 by the neck with one hand and threw a punch with one of its other arms at Unit-01. Shinji saw the punch coming and ducked under it strike at Unit-03's abdomen. After landing the first blow, Unit-01 commenced to continue pummeling Unit-03. Shinji then focused everything on a final strike to Unit-03's face. The punch never connected with its intended target though, Unit-03 caught the purple fist and swept up Unit-01's feet so it landed on its back. When Unit-01 landed on its back, Unit-03 stomped its foot onto Unit-01's neck and held him on the ground. The black Eva then resumed to hammer Unit-02 while holding it up.

Shinji desperately struggled against Unit-03 holding him down. And when he wasn't able to free himself, that was when reality hit him in the face. We've been holding back... We can't save Hikari...not without trying to destroy Unit-03 first. But if we destroy Unit-03, then Hikari could be killed in process... I can't kill Hikari... Oh God, what do I do...? Shinji could feel something breaking inside of him.

Unit-02 was hanging limply from Unit-03's arm while taking the beating. "ASUKA!" Shinji screamed, "Asuka are you ok?" NO! ASUKA! I have to do something or this damn thing is going to kill Asuka... I don't want Asuka to die! Tears began rolling down his cheeks and he could feel the flood gates open. Emotions that Shinji had held back for 16 years...

Unit-01's eyes suddenly lit up and its mouth opened wide to let out a hollow and inhuman roar. Unit-01's hand grabbed the foot that was on its neck and pulled it aside, this caused Unit-03 to become off-balance. The purple Eva quickly stood up and hit the black Eva with an elbow to the stomach. The strike cracked the armor in Unit-03. Unit-01 quickly followed up with a punch to the face that knocked Unit-03 off its feet and loosened its grip on Unit-02. Unit-02 dropped to the ground like a rag doll, and Unit-01 pounced on Unit-03.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Shinji screamed as he continued his assault, "I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO DIE! IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?"

The purple Eva dominated over Unit-03 and hit it with enraged strength. Unit-03 tried to fight back by grabbing Unit-01's neck and punching back. Unit-01 thought this as an annoyance and crushed the forearms of the black Eva and ripped off the hands from its neck. When Unit-01 pulled the hands from its neck, a loud snap could heard from two of Unit-03's arms becoming dislocated. Unit-01 raged like a wild animal, pounding Unit-03, each blow dented or cracked the black armor. Eventually the Unit-01 began to rip off limbs and the useless armor from Unit-03.

"I'VE GIVEN UP MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR EVERYONE ELSE! I'VE DONE EVERYTHING THAT EVERYONE HAS EXPECTED OF ME! SHOULDN'T THAT MEAN THAT I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY?"

Unit-01 held the only piece of Unit-03 that was still intact, Unit-03's plug. That was when Shinji came to his senses and calmed down. He slowly looked around at the destruction that he had caused, LCL fluid in giant puddles that could've been lakes, Eva parts that had been dismembered lay all around him. It was impossible to tell that all those pieces could ever belong to an Evangelion. Finally looking at the plug that rested in his hands, Shinji tightly pulled his knees to his chest and cried.

X-X

"Shinji... Please come out, we're all worried for you..." Yui said to Unit-01, "You saved the day, Asuka and Rei are alive and well and Unit-03 is defeated."

"H...Hika...Hikari... Is she ok..?" Shinji asked in a weak raspy voice.

Yui didn't say anything.

"IS SHE OK OR NOT?" Shinji screamed.

"I'm sorry Shinji, she's dead..." Yui said, "She died the moment that the blue pattern from Unit-03 disappeared."

"No... No... NO!" Shinji cried, "I... I... killed her... I said that I was going to protect her... but no... I killed her..." Shinji cried out and sobbed.

"Please Shinji, it wasn't your fault," Yui said, "The Magi had predicted that there was a .0000009 percent chance of saving Hikari. There was nothing that you could've done about it."

"I'm a murderer... I killed her with my own hands..." Shinji said, "Because I was too angry to think straight... I took it out on her and she paid for it... "

"Baka Shinji!"

Yui looked back and saw Asuka wheeling herself on the platform in a wheelchair. "You did what you had too, to save us all. If you didn't destroy Unit-03 then we would all be dead!"

"How am I supposed to keep on living knowing that I killed Hikari!"

"You fucking idiot! You'll go on living because you must! Because there are people here that still need you! Because I need you..." Asuka said and paused for a moment. "You changed my life... Everything I did was always for me. I never did anything for anyone else unless it benefitted me in some way. But then I met you, and slowly I started to do things differently. Life wasn't just about me, it slowly started becoming about you. I love you Shinji, and I don't think I could live my life without you. So let me help you like you've helped me."

The plug suddenly ejected and Shinji climbed down from the plug and onto the platform. His mother had her arms around him as soon as his feet were planted. Asuka sat in her wheelchair and smiled at Yui holding Shinji tightly. Shinji was about to break free of his mother's grasp, but Asuka slowly shook her head and wheeled herself out of the hangar bay.

X-X

"I'll kill that little bitch!" Yui screamed as she threw her coffee mug against the wall. Fuyutski walked into the room as the cup shattered against the wall.

"I take it that you're not too happy that all of Nerv is buzzing about Asuka professed her love to Shinji in the hangar bay to get him out of Unit-01," Fuyutski said cooly.

"That little tramp isn't in love with Shinji, she just a stupid little girl who doesn't know any better," Yui said while trying to regain her composure from the sudden appearance of Fuyutski, "Give it a few months and she'll be bored with Shinji and end up breaking his heart. I can't let my Shinji be succumbed to this harlot. I got rid of one stupid girl to have her replaced by yet another."

"Even if that were to happen, the sync ratio that Shinji demonstrated today was impressive," Fuyutski stated as he pulled some documents from a portfolio. "His sync ratio was 140.7 percent. Now think about this Yui, if we can use Asuka to get Shinji to perform like this for the rest of the Angels, victory is certain to be ours."

Yui stopped to think for a moment. "We'll use Asuka as a spear... And Shinji will be forced to draw on the berserker mode to defend her. And if our little red-head should die, just another casualty. I'm impressed, that is cold even for you Professor," Yui said as her eyes met Fuyutski's cold hard stare.

X-X

A/N: I know that it doesn't seem like Shinji would ever lose himself to his rage like that, but if you guys have been paying attention to some hints I've been dropping throughout the chapters, then you guys can probably figure out what I have planned for the fight against Zeruel. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please send me your input!