DAY 21
Austin's POV
"Well, there she is." Ally vocalized next to me as we both stared into the library watching my mother patiently wait at a table while tapping her fingers along it.
"Can we just go inside? I don't want to make her wait any longer than we have too." I stated as Ally looked at me and chuckled. "Um, you're the one who asked to wait a while because you needed a breather." She said folding her arms across her chest calling me out as I avoid eye contact for a few seconds.
"Okay, yeah whatever. But you know it's because I'm..."
"Nervous? It's okay to be, Austin."
"No, it's not. I'm Austin Moon. I never let anyone see me sweat. Ever." I tell her as she puts a hand on each one of my shoulders.
"You are also human. Your mom is here to share one of your sessions with you, of course that makes you nervous." Ally told me as I sighed still looking back at her getting way out of my own head.
"Hey, look at me. Look at me." She tells me turning my face as I look down in her eyes and I suddenly feel calmer and more at peace. "I promised you that I wouldn't badger her or you about every single thing especially stuff too sensitive. I'll go easy...I just need you to give this a chance." She says to me as I sigh knowing she was right. "Yeah, of course." I tell her as she smiles softly caressing my hand before opening the door to the library.
We both walked towards my mother at the table as I wiped sweat off my palms onto my jeans. She turns around hearing our footsteps and smiles at the both of us but mostly at me.
"Austin, sweetie!" She beamed running up and hugging me and my nerves went away when my mom gave me the best hug I've had in a long time. What can I say? Sometimes a man just needs his mother to figure out the hard things in life. "Hey, mom. I missed you." I told her honestly as she pulled away with a huge smile on her face that matched Ally's who watched in glee. "I missed you more, love." She said pinching my cheeks like a baby.
"Awe, this is so sweet. Do you two want some privacy?" Ally asked kindly as we both shook our heads. "No, no we're fine sweetheart. Thank you so much for all you've done for my son. It's so good to see you as well." My mom said going over and hugging Ally shocking her as she looked at me with raised eyebrows surprised as I shrugged with a smile just grateful that my mom liked her a lot.
Let's not forget she was the one who told me Ally was way better suited for me at my birthday party when I was dating Cassidy and that I would end up with her but of course, I thought she was talking crazy and delusional.
"I can the say the same, Mrs. Moon. Austin doesn't talk much about his family but he always lets it be known how much he loves you." She tells my mom as my mom pulled away and smiled at me before we all sat down.
"So, our usual sessions start with a 'how are you' just to see if the patient has been fine in the time you don't see each other." She explained. "Other times, we get right to it because the patient doesn't earn the 'how are you'." She added as my mom intriguingly glanced between the two of us.
"Has my boy been one of those patients?" She questioned as I groaned knowing Ally had to be honest. "Multiple times." Ally said as she laughed and instead of my mom grilling me about it, she laughed too. "I figured. He's always been hard headed, stubborn and difficult." She told me shaking her head while rubbing my arm.
"Well, I know the harder questions are coming so fire them at me. I can take it. At least, I'll try too." My mother told her which made me nervous because I don't know that I can.
It's one thing having a session alone but with my mom who was involved in most of my drama and a big part of how it all unfolded? This is not something I thought I'd ever have to do. I was the king at avoiding things but this program and Ally's persistence has made it extremely hard.
"Yeah, I know but don't worry. Let's start off with an easy one. How would you describe your son's childhood? Say...before the age of 10." Ally paused to think before nodding waiting for my mother's response.
"Oh, well Austin was always a happy kid. Though a lot of it had to do with his dad and brother." She said patting my hand as I smiled uncomfortably because it was weird talking about the past with my mom. "Him and his brother were so close and they would come up with any new game in order to spend all their time together." She smiles at the memory as I remember myself in disbelief at how different things are now. "Their father took them fishing, hiking and their favorite, the arcade." She chuckled reminiscing on how obsessed we were with it.
"That seems like a fun one. My dad definitely made my childhood better but we were pretty boring so we weren't like everyone else." Ally shared because that's what an adviser is suppose to do. Share some of their own experiences to make the other person feel more comfortable. What? You learn a thing or two after a while. "I believe that." I reply with a chuckle to Ally's comment about her and her dad being boring.
"Austin, shh!" My mom said lightly smacking my arm as Ally smiled. "It's fine, Mrs. Moon. I've become use to your son's table manners." She said raising her eyebrows towards me as I just secretly winked at her and she blushed turning back to my mother.
"So, were you along for most of the hangouts they had with their dad?" Ally asked her with the pen in her hand. "Yes, of course. We were a very close family, but of course their dad made personal father and son trips just like I had my individual trips with them as well." She told her as Ally nodded writing her words down.
"How did you feel about all those trips, Austin?" She questioned now facing me along with my mother.
"Um, I loved them. They were definitely the highlight of my childhood." I told her honestly as my mom smiled placing her hand on mine softly.
"My dad..." I started out sitting up with a little cough trying to stop myself from getting emotional. "He was the best guy. The kind of man who everyone could count on. Every kid on our block wished he was their dad too because he was all about having fun and never letting anyone else feel left out." I explained as Ally nodded studying my face carefully before a tiny smile showcased on her beautiful face.
"He sounds amazing." She said as I smiled too at the father compliment from my girlfriend. "He was." My mom and I said at the same time.
"So, Austin does have a brother. I've met Aiden and I like him a lot. How was your relationship?" She asked my mom and I watched her stiffen up uncomfortably. This is the kind of stuff I was worried about. I think I only told Ally once that they didn't get along but never explained why.
"We...have a complicated relationship."
"Complicated how?"
"Um...we just don't get along as well as we did when he was younger." She said looking between Ally and the floor as this time I placed my hand on hers and Ally noticed.
"Don't worry. You don't need to tell me the reason why. If you had the chance to reconcile that relationship, would you?"
"Of course, he's my son. But he doesn't exactly treat me like a mother. He just wrote me off in his life so I'm not exactly beaming to see him anytime soon." My mom told her and that hurt me deeply for some reason.
I thought I was over my brother and my mom not getting along after his last visit because it was something I couldn't change but it bothered me so much just hearing her say that. They were mother and son after all and family shouldn't act like this and I definitely didn't like it.
"How do you feel about your brother and mother's strained relationship, Austin?" Ally asked me sympathetically. I looked in between her and my mom wondering if I should shrug and say I don't care or just be honest. I told my girlfriend I was gonna try really hard in this session and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. At least keep the one promise to her that I have control over.
"I think my father would be upset and disappointed." I admitted as Ally looked a bit stunned at my open bluntness and my mom looks a little shocked and ashamed at herself turning away from me. "He made sure we were such a close family so if he saw his wife and his first born at odds this badly, he would probably turn over in his grave." I added as my mom slightly gasped with tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm just trying to be as honest as possible." I told her as she nodded her head as a tear fell. "I know, sweetie. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself because it's true. Mike was such a family man and our fighting would break his heart." She said as I looked at her with a sad expression before she smiled at me.
"You are so amazing, sweetie. I don't care what's happened in the past or what you have done. You have such a wonderful heart whether you know it or not. You are an amazing young man and I simply couldn't be any more proud to be your mother." She told me as tears filled my eyes shocking Dawson, my mom and myself because I haven't cried sober since the incident. The breakdown I had over a week ago doesn't count because I was super wasted which naturally makes me more emotional.
"Do you mind if we take a small break? I didn't expect us to get super sentimental." My mother asked with a chuckle wiping her tears as Ally smiled sympathetically closing her book. "Actually, I've got all that I need. We're done here." She said as I sighed grateful internally because this was becoming way too much for me. "Oh, okay." My mom replied as we all stood up walking out of the library.
Ally's POV
"I want to thank you so much for coming in Mrs. Moon. You have been such a great sport in what I know is a very personal topic for you and your son. I'm very grateful for your participation." I tell her as she smiles sweetly. "It was hard but it was also a pleasure, Miss Dawson. It was nice seeing your methods on how you talk and bond with my son in these sessions. I feel closer to Austin in a way and I didn't think that was possible before today. So, thank you so much." She told me appreciative leaning in and hugging me and this time I was prepared and smiled holding her just as tightly.
I look at Austin who no longer has tears on his face but the emotion is still there and all I wanted to do was hold him too. After a couple of seconds, his mother and I pull away and she faces Austin. "Before I go, can you walk me out?" She asked him. "Of course. I'll be back okay?" He told me as I nodded watching as they left to go downstairs together.
Austin's POV
My mom and I get down to the lobby and I walk her outside in front of the building. "Well, this is it. I told you me coming for the session wouldn't be the worst thing?" She commented with a small laugh as I raised my eyebrows amused. "Yeah, minus the crying?" I said as she smacked my arm. "It's a good thing, Austin. We have to get use to opening up and talking about our feelings. Maybe it'll do us all good." She said optimistic and that made me think of Hahn and I's deal to get her and my brother here at the same time since they haven't seen or talked to each other in 6 months when the incident occurred.
"I'm gonna miss you, mom." I tell her honestly. "And I'm gonna miss you...but you have a beautiful and intelligent adviser that's always looking out for you." She told me.
"What does her beauty have to do with anything?" I said as she looks at me like 'really'. "I know you like each other, sweetie. It's the most obvious thing in the world." She said as I playfully rolled my eyes and she looked at me amused that I didn't deny it like I did at my birthday party when I was with Brooke.
"Is there something I should know, sweetie? About...you two?" She teased with a smirk but genuinely wanting to know and as much as I wanted to tell her, this was a two person relationship and I'm not gonna make any decisions by myself when it involves the two of us. That's a decision we have to make together. "No. Not at all." I reply sounding sure as she observed me for a while before slowly nodding. "Okay. It'll come out eventually." She said making me laugh that she didn't buy it.
Ally's POV
I walk out my room after putting all my session equipment away for when the next one occurs. I walk into the lobby deciding to buy a water bottle from the machine when Austin comes in. He sees me and immediately walks over to me as I pick up the water coming out the machine.
"Hey, I wanna apologize." He said making me the most confused person ever. "What could you possibly be sorry for?" I asked puzzled opening the cap and taking a sip. "Just for us not being able to answer all the questions you wanted us too. I felt like we were too subtle with stuff. I know you wanted a little more from us and we didn't exactly do the best we could." He said feeling bad as I looked at him because he was so clueless on my feelings about it.
I look around knowing this wasn't a place I wanted to talk to him privately. "Hey, could we talk in my car out front? I'm leaving to go to my college in a few minutes anyway." I say as he nods as we walk out together getting in my car as I start it so it has time to get warmed up.
When we get in, the first thing I do is face Austin who still has a guilty expression. "Listen to me. You and your mother did perfectly." I told him as he opened his mouth to protest but I shh'd him. "Though it was difficult for your mother, she was able to speak about your brother even if details were left out. And you babe, you..." I said as he looks down then back up at me. "You were the biggest trooper because you talked about your dad in a way I've never seen you talk about him before. Not to mention, you told your mother what you really thought about her and your brother's relationship drama." I said commending him.
"Most importantly...you cried for the first time sober in front of me." I told him softly as he rolled his eyes at himself. "Stop. That was just embarrassing." He said turning his face away from me but I grabbed his chin and turned it back to me. "It shouldn't be. You let yourself feel things you didn't want to feel for so long and it overwhelmed you. It was an honor to see such an accomplishment from you." I said so he would realize he shouldn't be so hard on himself.
"Also, all it did was prove exactly what I knew this whole time. The man I love has the biggest heart in the world and he shared it with me in the best way." I smiled softly rubbing his right cheek as he stared into my eyes.
"How?"
"By letting me in." I reply grateful as he just looked at me in what seemed like a trance before leaning in and kissing me passionately as I kiss him back opening my mouth letting him take complete control as I taste him over and over again never wanting to let go.
Our heads switch sides as we deepen the kiss adding our tongues into because we couldn't get enough of each other. I feel Austin's hands in my hair as he pulls me closer to his passenger side and I moan from getting turned on and I know if we don't stop now, I'm gonna be later than I want to be at my university. Then again, I can't bring myself to stop.
"Austin..." I moan lightly as he pulls away and starts leaving kisses on my neck. "Don't leave yet, Dawson." He tells me while teasing my collar bone. "I have too. I don't want to give a bad impression on my first day back." I told him out of breath from the intense and passionate make out. "But you're not officially going back yet. You're just hanging with friends. Please?" He asked again in a begging voice facing me before we kiss again with sighs of satisfaction.
"You are going to be the death of me, Dawson." He says in between kisses. "I could say the same thing about you considering you're gonna get me in trouble with my best friends." I said pulling him away making both Austin and I groan in desperation.
"Dawsonnnn..." Austin whined looking insanely adorable. "I know, I know! I'm sorry but I have to go. I promise to be back as soon as I can, okay?" I told him as he sighed throwing his head back on the seat before facing me again in disappointment.
"Just don't get any ideas with any of those college guys? If you do, just think about the hot sex we have and how you can't get that anywhere else." He told me as I laughed shaking my head as he just smiled watching me.
"You are too much, you know that?" I said kissing his cheek. "Yeah, I know. Just making sure no one is pushing up on my girl when I'm not there." He said over protectively as I playfully rolled my eyes while he kissed my gently.
"I love you. Be careful driving there." He told me as I smiled softly. "I promise to be careful and text you as soon as I arrive there, okay? I love you too." I told him as he smiled at my words before kissing me one last time and then getting out.
"See you later, babe." I said waving before pulling off.
*****************
Ally's POV
Walking onto my college ground after what seems like so long but it's only been weeks in reality felt pretty good, I'm not gonna lie. It's been a while and I won't deny that I've missed the smell of fresh flowers in the front property, the coffee stand, the snack machines right outside my main classes and seeing my friends faces everyday. I might not be back for good now but I can't wait to reunite with them and maybe see some more familiar faces.
Going on campus, and seeing all the beautiful views and mini shops brings a huge smile to my face but nothing makes me happier then when I hear my name being called from my favorite people in the world.
I turn around quickly as I see Kira and Marissa running towards me as I jump in both their arms. "Oh my god, Als! We missed you! It's been a week since we've seen you!" Marissa shouted beaming with overjoy that I was here. "You seriously get hotter every time we see you! Is it because of your hot patient, Austin?" Kira asked as I playfully rolled my eyes with a chuckle because she does not waste time.
"It's nice to see you two girls! And Kira...let it go." I said as she pouted and me and Marissa laughed. As much as I want to tell my friends that we are together, that's something me and Austin have to decide together and I think it's best to wait to announce to our friends and family after the program is over just to avoid unnecessary drama.
"Come on, you have to say hi to Steve. He was so excited when he heard you were visiting today." Marissa told me. "But I told you guys two days ago. He's just finding out?" I asked confused. "Well, we were so excited when you told us, we forgot to tell anyone else." She admitted with a shrug as I giggle.
We head inside the building and Kira and Marissa take me to the comfort zone where students usually study, talk or chill with their friends.
I see Steve looking through a book while also laughing at Elliot trying to juggle some mini balls and obviously failing. I smile because I remember him doing that all the time betting that he would perfect it someday.
"Look who it is, guys!" Kira squealed as they turned around stunned. "Oh my god, Ally!" Steve shouted coming over to me and picking me up with excitement. "God, I've missed you. No one gives good advice like you." He told me as I chuckled at the compliment.
"Hey, we give you advice all the time." Marissa scoffed offended. "Excuse me, I meant good advice." He corrected making me laugh as Kira and Marissa smacked his arms as he blocked himself.
I laughed as Elliot came over to me with a smile. "Hi." He said shyly. "Hey." I replied just as awkward. "So, have you been?" He asked nicely. "Good, you?" I simply said not wanting to sound too happy about my life without him because I didn't want to hurt his feelings knowing he's still healing over the break up.
"Hey, we'll give you guys some space to talk." Kira said as Steve and Marissa nodding agreeing before they all left. Well, I didn't expect that. "Wanna sit?" He offered as I nodded as we sat on a couch.
"I have missed you, El. I was watching an episode of Scandal and was wondering if you hated Liv as much as I do right now." I said as he laughed.
"I do. I really do. She's become the worst right?"
"The worst!" I say as we laughed shaking our heads at our obsession with the show.
"I've missed you too. It's hard not to. You were the glue who kept the group together, Als. You were our balance." He said sweetly making me smile.
"You guys seem fine without me."
"Yeah, but it's hard not seeing you all the time. It was a routine of all of ours. We're all pretty attached to the hip for life."
"Of course. I also...wanted to invite you to my birthday bash tomorrow that Hahn is throwing for me." I told him even though I knew Austin was behind it but I didn't want to tell him that because that's an unnecessary sting to the heart.
"Oh, I didn't know you were celebrating it big this year."
"Yeah, I know but I wanted to wait and see how this meet up with you went. I'm sorry I'm telling you last minute." I said honestly. "I completely understand, Als. I'll definitely be there." He says as I smile happily.
"That's awesome! You're gonna have a great time, don't worry."
"I don't doubt that."
"Well, let's go find Kira, Marissa and Steve and hang with them before I have to go. There's so much to catch up on." I tell him as he nods agreeing as we stand up walking out and laughing about a situation he told me about that occurred when I wasn't here.
Austin's POV
Dallas, Cassidy and I are playing basketball and it's two against one because Cassidy is new and Dallas didn't think it was right to leave her alone. "What are you doing for Ally's birthday again?" Cassidy asked prying for info on her friend's day. "Remember Austin's throwing a party in a club for her with all her friends." Dallas told her as she smiled excited now remembering before trying to make another shot but missing.
"You really suck, Cass." I tell her as she gasped and Dallas punched my arm. "Dude, shut up!" He whispered as I tried to hold my laughter in.
"I told you this wasn't my thing. Ally is good at this, not me!" She said pouting going to the sidelines. "Well, she's not here. That's why you got to be her for the time being." I explained as she rolled her eyes feeling like she was being tortured.
"Why isn't she here again?" Dallas asked bouncing the ball before making a basket. "She's visiting her college campus to hang with some friends." I tell him as he nodded before his eyebrows raised intrigued.
"How do you feel about the Elliot situation?" He asked really curious. "There is no Elliot situation. He apologized to her and they are cool and so am I. That's it." I said nonchalant even though cool was not the word I was thinking of.
"Come on, dude. I know you. You don't let go of things easy."
"Maybe I don't, but it doesn't matter what I think."
"Yes, it does. You're her boyfriend."
"And he's one of her best friends. I can't compete with that."
"Oh my gosh, Austin isn't competing with anything!" Cassidy said walking over exhausted from listening to us. "It's obvious Ally loves you and only you. Elliot is her friend but she only wants you. Okay?" She said repeating a similar but different version of what Ally already told me in the car making me smile. "Got it." I replied making a basket for myself.
"Good. Now, I'm going inside to find some water before I pass out." She said out of breath walking inside making me laugh as Dallas shook his head.
"Next time you're missing Ally, keep my girlfriend off the court and out of it. She shouldn't have to suffer cause you're lonely, buddy." He said patting my shoulder before going inside.
I guess it's true what he said. I am lonely without Dawson here. I wouldn't be if I weren't trapped in this building and I could do things of my own but since I can't, I guess Ally is the one that makes my day better. Never would have thought that the first day I met her.
Ally's POV
After that much nice conversation with Elliot, we found the rest of our friends and spent a couple of hours having the best time of our lives with each other.
After a great time with them, I decided to visit the dean of the school who happens to like me a lot. There's something that has been on my mind for a few days and I finally have the chance to talk about it out loud.
When I knock, I am told to come in after a few seconds when I see Dean Parker sitting behind his desk with a gleeful smile getting up. "Ally Dawson. Now that is a face I want to see." He said as I beamed going up and hugging him as he returned it.
"Oh, it is so nice seeing you! Jeez, how many weeks has it been?" He asked losing track of time that I've been away.
"3 weeks sir."
"Yes, wow." He said still amazed that I was in front of him because we got use to seeing each other everyday. What can I say? I was the Dean's right hand woman.
"So, what are you doing here? I remember the program I helped you get into was 30 days. Tell me you didn't get fired?" He said with panic. "No, no I didn't get fired! It's going great. The person in charge Hahn likes me a lot and said I'm one of the best advisers she's ever known." I informed him as he sighed with relief.
"Well, that's nice to hear. A lot of people told me she's a tough cookie." He said speaking of Hahn. "She is, but she also has a soft side." I tell him as he nods listening. "I actually came here to visit my friends and hangout for a while but there's also something I wanted to talk to you about." I say as he tilts his head. "Okay, well sit down." He instructed me as I sat down in the chair as he sat behind his desk again.
"So, what's on your mind?" He asked nicely. "So, as you know each adviser at the program has a patient assigned to them." I started off as he nodded understanding. "Of course. Who is yours by the way? Do you get along?" He asked with a smile wanting to know more about my journey there. "My patient is Austin Moon." I told him and his smiled faded like the night.
"What?" He asked as if he didn't hear me.
"I said my patient is Austin Moon." I said lower this time internally sighing because it must mean he knows of him and what he did.
"Okay...I was warned he went to an alcoholic program. I didn't know it was that one. If I did, I would have never sent you near that psycho. I'm so sorry, Ally." He said apologetic as I shook my head.
"No, there's no need to apologize Dean Parker. He's not a psycho. He's a good guy, sir."
"Ally, he murdered someone."
"Yes...I'm aware of that."
"Then how can you possibly call him a good person."
"Because I've gotten to know him deeper than anyone has in his life."
"It could just be a facade he's putting on so he looks good in court."
"If he cared about looking good in court, he would testify." I stated as he looked beyond surprised.
"Wait...he's not gonna testify? Well, why the hell not? Perfect opportunity to make up some sob story to trick the jury onto his side." He proclaimed confused and it took everything in me to not roll my eyes because at the end of the day, it's easy to judge when you don't know someone personally. "No, he's not...because testifying means living through something truly traumatic he went through in front of a whole bunch of random people he doesn't know." I said as he didn't say something.
"Okay...why does any of this have anything to do with me?"
"I was wondering...if it was possible to get Austin Moon enrolled in next semester." I suggested as his eyes widen in disbelief. "Are you kidding? There's no way in hell!" He shouted, not at me but at the suggestion.
"I know, it seems crazy-"
"Seems crazy? So this enrollment...does this come during or after his imprisonment?" Dean Parker asked sarcastically as I sighed.
"I'm still working on making him testify, but if he does-"
"He can still be found guilty!"
"Yes, but he could also be found not guilty! He is not the man he was made out to be. You and a lot of other people don't know the full story."
"You think the full story justifies what he did?"
"Of course not! But it sure would give a whole lot of clarity and insight on his side." I said as he sighed shaking his head upset that I was even talking to him about this.
"He's not known here by students, Miss Dawson. Only by the people in his own small town."
"Exactly! He deserves a fresh start if the judge says the words we're hoping for."
"No, you don't get it, Ally. The entire school district made sure all teachers, counselors and Dean's of Universities in the 100 mile radius were aware of what he did in his town so we'd know where he was attending just in case the trial went in his favor but we were not allowed to inform the students to alert them that one of their own, a young person broke the law in the worst way just in case he could live among them." He explained as I glanced down at the ground hating that he was talking about him as if he was just some monster.
"I can't risk them finding out who he is for their sake, Ally. You know how easy it is with kids and the internet. I don't want them to fear being on campus."
"I get that, I really do but Dean Parker...I remember you sharing a very personal story in the auditorium one time about the rough childhood you endured and how it ruined a lot of things for you. Austin's story is not the same as yours but it had the same outcome. A hurt human being."
"Except I didn't kill anyone. I decided to be better."
"Not everyone has that option. Some situations are worst then others. You taught me that when I shared my bad experience in high school with you." He said getting silent for a while before sighing and shaking his head still.
"It's impossible for me to just accept this because even if he did have the most justifiable reason in the world, the school does not need the bad publicity." He said as I let out a breath that shows heartbreak and disappointment. "And I adore you so much Ally and I love how much you care about others, but if you keep pushing this...I might have to start rethinking you as valedictorian in 2 years." He tells me as I sigh nodding slowly before getting up.
"Okay...I understand but before I go..." I say getting some files out my bag. "These are some of Austin's free records online and extra curricular's before he went through what he did in his life." I said placing them on the table as he just looked between them and me.
"Something happened to him and...I think it would be really selfish of you to not at least look into it." I told him honestly as he looks at me stunned that I called him out that way since we were so close but I couldn't help it. His reaction and stubborn personality really disappointed me.
I walked out with my dignity still intact because at least I know I tried. On my way, heading to the main doors, I see all my friends talking about something that made them laugh. "Oh good, you guys are already here. I was going to come find you all to say bye." I say coming up to them as they smiled sadly. "Ugh, Als. I wish you could have stayed longer." Kira commented as the rest nodded agreeing.
"Me too, but the university is a pretty far distance from the facility and I wanna leave now while there's still some light left." I told them as they nodded understanding. "Well, we're gonna miss you, Als but we'll see you again soon enough." Steve said hugging me as I smiled hugging him back.
As we pulled away, Kira and Marissa squeezed me tightly simultaneously as I sighed taking them in. Lastly, I go over to Elliot. "I'll miss you, El." I tell him as he smiled hugging me as I hug him tighter as the rest of the group smiles that we were really great friends again. "Bye guys. I love you." I said opening the door as they waved shouting they loved me too when I walked out.
Shortly after, on my way heading to my car, I see another car I recognized and when I peak into it, my eyes widen in surprise and confusion.
Austin's POV
"Babe, what the hell are you doing here?" Ally asked in bewilderment at my car door. "I used one of my get out cards because I realized we never had a proper first date and you definitely deserve one." I told her as she smiled before confusion stopped it.
"Wait, I thought you couldn't drive for another couple of months because of your suspension?" She asked folding her arms. "Let's just say my grandmother let me borrow her car when she found out it was to take it out. She also threatened me if I crashed it or didn't come back on time so let's get the show on the road." I tell her as her eyes widened.
"What the hell! Hahn knows about us?!" She yelled as I realized I never told her. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Get in the car and I'll explain everything." I say as she still looks in shock and confused before shaking her head.
"What do you expect me to do about my car? I'm not leaving it here." She said motioning to it. "You won't have too. I called a service online that drives cars to their desired location. You give them the license plate and they make another key set within an hour and boom. They take care of the rest." I explained.
"So, my car is just gonna magically be back at the facility's parking lot?" She asked not exactly buying it.
"Yup."
"It better be because if it's not. I will legit kill you." She said getting in on the passenger side as I pull off.
"So...explain!" She rushes me as I chuckle. "Okay, okay. After you told me you loved me yesterday, I went to my grandmother for advice because I felt like I didn't know what to anymore and in the middle of the advice I needed for you, she admitted that she knew about our relationship after seeing us go in a closet together." I explained to Ally who begins blushing like crazy shaking her head.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...do you have any idea how embarrassing that is for me? I am your adviser." She said panicking.
"Yeah, but she doesn't care anymore."
"But why the hell not? She made such a big deal about it before."
"Yeah, I know but she said she loved how much I changed since being with you and she's not gonna stop my progress because of one rule."
"You're totally getting special treatment because you're her grandson."
"Obviously." I replied as she just chuckled shaking her head at the news.
"Well, that's good news at least. I won't have to feel like I'm lying to your grandmother the whole time since we'll still be together after the program." She said kissing my cheek as I get a bit nervous because she still doesn't know about the 20 year deal.
Yeah, I decided last night after I told Ally I loved her to open up and tell Ally the real official story when I'm ready but it doesn't change the fact that I'm still going to jail once I sign those papers when my lawyer returns in a week or less.
"By the way, Dallas and Cassidy knows about us too." I said nonchalantly as she looked at me and if I wasn't driving, I bet I'd be double over in laughter at the face she made because of all the surprises she's getting randomly today.
"You told them?! We had a deal!"
"I didn't tell them. I promise."
"Really? Then who did?" She asked not believing me.
"They already knew! I was playing basketball with Dallas and he randomly said he couldn't keep it in anymore and spilled that he knew about us as a couple. Then we wondered if Cassidy knew about it as well since you two were really close and all and she peeks out the outside door like a creep saying she knows and leaves." I admit to her as she just looks shocked but also amused.
"Wow...that's...wow. So everybody just knew?" She asked in shame as I laughed shrugging.
"I guess we weren't as good as hiding it as we thought."
"I blame you."
"Me?" I asked with a laugh.
"Yes! You are always trying to seduce me in hallways or trying to touch me in our sessions. Not to mention all the dirty things you whisper in my ear when people are around." She said calling me out on all my stuff as I smiled guilty.
"Don't act like you don't love all those things." I said placing my hand on her thigh since she's wearing a short skirt while I turn a corner. "I'm not. I'm just saying you could've been more subtle." She smirked.
"Maybe I don't care about people knowing about us."
"You know I wouldn't either if we weren't patient and adviser."
"Client."
"Here we go again." She said with a giggle and it's crazy how it became one of my favorite sounds in the world.
"Your hands are so warm." She commented from my hand on her thigh as I parked in front of the restaurant I was taking her too. "Do you want me to warm some other places?" I asked with raised eyebrows as she laughed leaning in close to my face.
"Why do you have to be so sexual all the time?" She smiled as I glanced at her soft pink lips that I wanted to attack right here and now and I could say the same thing for her because of the way she was looking at me.
"You don't like it?" I teased laying soft kisses down her collar bone as she shivered against my touch. "Of course I do, but I want to see gentlemen Austin for a day. Just gentlemen Austin." She said slowly pulling me away from her neck even though I can tell it was hard for her to resist because she was softly biting her bottom lip.
"Alright, I can do that. Gentlemen Austin at your service for the rest of the night." I told her as she smiled appreciative kissing me on the lips before going for the door but I stop her.
"What?" She said confused.
"Gentlemen Austin opens doors for his girlfriend." I said as she giggled and motioned for me to do the honors as I got out the car and went to her side opening it for her. "Thank you, babe." Ally said sweetly as we begin walking into the restaurant hand in hand.
"So, how did your college visit go?" I asked Ally once we were sat down at out tables waiting for the drinks we ordered. "It went really well. Better than I expected." She told me. "Why didn't you expect it to go well?" I asked curious not knowing she was worried about anything. "You know...Elliot. I know I forgave him and all but we haven't seen each since and I knew it was gonna be weird and awkward." She explained as I nodded understanding.
"And was it?"
"At first, sure. But as we talked, things started to feel just like old times and it was really nice."
"Not boyfriend and girlfriend old times right?"
"No." She chuckled at my slight jealousy.
"You are the only guy on my mind." She reassured me as I blushed before shaking it off.
"How about you? What did you do when I was gone?"
"Nothing much. Played some basketball with Dallas and Cassidy and then took a nap."
"Wait...Cassidy played basketball?" She asked amused.
"Well, she tried. She sucked badly and afterwards she needed a lot of water and a long nap."
"Oh my god..." She said lowly trying not to laugh knowing Cassidy wasn't a sports person at all.
"It's my fault anyway. I tried to get her to be you while you were away." I admit as her eyebrows furies in confusion.
"Why?"
"I don't know. I was really bored with you not being there. I'm not exactly given a lot of options on places to go being trapped in there and you're a big part at making that place bearable." I told her honestly.
"Awe, babe. That's so sweet." She teased making me jokingly roll my eyes.
"Here ya go, guys." The older male waiter said putting down Ally's water and my coke in front of us.
"Thanks." We both simultaneously said as the person smiled and opened his notepad.
"You guys know what you want?" He asked with the pen ready.
"Yeah, we do. We want to share the family size chicken casserole." I told him as he nodded writing it down, telling us he would be back in 15 minutes.
The food soon comes out and we begin eating. Ally tells me to come to her side since we're sharing a meal and I do and she smiles kissing my cheek making me smile as I wrap one arm around her and use the other to eat our dinner.
"God, this is delicious. You were so right." Ally said as I chuckled.
"For such a little thing, you sure can eat a lot."
"Does that bug you? Because just in case it did, I wouldn't care." She said defensively making me laugh.
"No, I actually find it hot."
"What don't you find hot?"
"Ice cream." I said sarcastically as she pushed me with a giggle.
"I can't take you serious sometimes." She said shaking her head with a smile.
"Do you know what you want for your birthday? Like an actual gift?" I asked curious.
"Um...I haven't really thought about it. Honestly, as long as you're there, I'm good." She told me.
"I know that. I'm awesome to be around."
"This is very true." She replied with a nod taking another bite of food.
"But seriously, I want to get you something nice." I said pushing for an answer.
"I don't know, babe. You should've thought of something days ago." She giggled. "Just surprise me." She told me with a shrug.
"Alright, I'll try." I say before noticing something.
"Hey, you haven't touched your water since you got it. Aren't you thirsty?" I asked her as she looked at it and shrugged. "I am but I kinda had a taste for something else. It's fine." She said avoiding eye contact and I figured out what she was hiding.
"You want alcohol don't you?" I asked amused as she looked guilty before facing me. "I was just craving a margarita since I can't have them tomorrow at my party because Hahn's policy will be there because of some of the people in the program being there, but ignore me."
"No, I'm not gonna ignore you. If you want a margarita then get a margarita, babe." I encouraged her.
"What the hell, Austin. No! What kind of adviser would I be? That's exactly why I wanted to keep the opinion to myself."
"I'm serious, Dawson. I know you're worried about me but I'm fine. I know I don't have the biggest argument considering my sobriety break 2 days ago but you of all people know, I'm an emotional drinker. Not an obsessive one." I said as she still shook her head.
"Babe, your birthday is tomorrow and I want it to be everything and more for you but if alcohol is the icing on the cake to make it a little better especially since you haven't had it since you've been in the program, then all means have at it. Just because us people can't handle drinks doesn't mean you should suffer too." I explained to her.
"I don't know, Austin. I think it's cruel of me to drink in front of you when it's so tempting."
"But that's my point, babe. It's not tempting. In fact, the only tempting thing I see at this table is you." I say as she giggles shaking her head at my flirting.
"Are you absolutely sure?" She asked hesitating.
"I'm positive." I told her as she slowly nodded and the waiter came back just in time.
"You guys need anything else or do you want the check?" He asked us. "Actually, I would like a raspberry margarita." She told him as he nodded writing it down. "How about you, sir?" He asked facing me. "Can I get a chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream for dessert?" I ask him. "No problem. I'll be back soon enough." He told us walking away as Ally smiled at me.
"You really are amazing." She said as I smirked picking up her hand and kissing it. "Anything for you, baby." I said kissing the side of her head.
My dessert and her drink comes back and she enjoys it while I enjoy my food and I could tell she wanted another one and I had to persuade her to get that one too and the next thing I know, she's had about 4 of them and that's when I cut her off.
I should've cut her off sooner but she just seemed so care free and loosened up. Drunk Dawson was definitely a lot of fun but now it was time to go because she was starting to get loud and cheer for no reason at all.
As I managed to get her and myself in the car, she kept trying to seduce me which I found hilarious. "You are the...best boyfriend eveeeeeeeeeeeer!" She said with a wasted giggle as I shook my head starting the car and driving off.
"When we get back, I am taking you to bed." I tell her as she pouted then smirked. "Only if it's with you..." She teased running her hand along my thigh. "You keep doing that, we're gonna crash and not make it back." I say and she takes it away fast and saying oops like a little kid.
Soon enough, we arrive back at the facility and I park Hahn's car in the exact same parking spot making sure I don't hit anything because lord knows she'll kill me if she sees even a little dent on it and then she'll never let me borrow it again. I also see Ally's car that she was so worried about the whole ride to the restaurant. She can thank me in the morning.
I hold Ally up as best as I can since she's not exactly capable of doing it herself. We past the front desk and thank god the clerk is asleep because if they saw an adviser coming in drunk, they would be fired on the spot.
Ally is smiling and giggling at nothing while I get the card out to my room opening it and rushing us both in there so we won't get caught. I gently let go of Ally to get her some water to water the alcohol down in her system. She continues to laugh while dancing around the room. "Jeez, Dawson. When I said have at it, you really took that to heart." I commented as she just giggled some more while I tried to hand her the water as she shook her head rejecting it.
"Come on, babe. It'll make you feel better."
"But I feel fiiiiiiiiine."
"I meant in the morning. You're gonna have a massive hangover and you're gonna be pissed you didn't listen to me." I told her as she rolled her eyes and almost tripping at the same time but I caught her.
"Are you an expert or something, Moon?" She asked with a hazed smile and teasing fingers going down my shirt but I wasn't fazed by it because she was beyond wasted and I'm not taking advantage of her even if she is my girlfriend.
"Here sit down on the bed." I say trying to locate her to it but she scoffs and pulls away. "I'll sit where I wanna sit, mister." She pouted angrily in my face before going against the wall taking a deep breath then falling down sloppily. I sigh amused shaking my head at her stubbornness, wondering if this is how stubborn I am to her when I'm sober.
I decide to just sit next to her for a while and try to get her to drink some water again in a couple of minutes. "I just wanna say...I appreciate you saying you'll eventually tell me the full story last night, Austin." She said patting my arm without looking at me as I nodded before puzzlement filled my brain.
"What do you mean you appreciate me saying that? You think I'm just saying that to get you off my back and don't believe I actually will?" I asked slightly offended but remain calm because she is drunk so getting in an argument would be pointless cause she wouldn't even remember it tomorrow.
"Well...yeah. It's okay, though...I have come to terms that some people can't open up fully, ya know?" She asked facing me as her eyes hang low and she smiles patting my hand. "Dawson, that may be true and it was for me for a very long time but I meant it. I am gonna tell you the full story, I'm just figuring out when and how now." I tell her truthfully as she went back to just staring across the other side of the room not saying anything else but I still had something on my mind.
"Opening up is difficult whether you trust the person or not. You've been mysterious about something you went through ever since you got here and haven't told me a word about it either. Yeah, it's not in your job requirement but like you said we are boyfriend and girlfriend off the clock so..." I say putting her on the spot as an intoxicated giggle comes out before she stops completely and a different expression takes over.
I observe her face and though I can tell she is still hella drunk, she has the expression of sadness, heartbreak and dread covered on her entire face. My insides start to feel bad as we sit there in silence and I wonder if I made her remember some things she didn't want to.
Ally suddenly crosses her legs Indian style and runs her right hand through her hair slightly taking a deep breath before leaning her head on the wall looking up at the ceiling.
"When my dad died when I was 14...I went into the worst depression in my life. It was so unexpected and I couldn't comprehend for the life of me how one day someone could be here and the next, they are just...gone...like the wind." Her voice cracking at the last word.
I feel my heart weep for her because I know what it's like losing someone so quickly without a warning considering our dads died in the exact same way.
"He was my best friend, my heart, and my everything and I didn't how to live knowing I couldn't ever hold, hug or kiss him goodbye ever again." She said as a tear fell while she continued to avoid eye contact and focus on the ceiling.
"After that, I became completely different. My clothes changed to all black, every song I listened to was spewing about death and negativity and I stopped talking to every single childhood friend of mine including Melissa, Kira and Steve. The only reason I kept in contact with Elliot was because he was super close with my father and he would tell me about their talks and that made me feel closer to him even though he wasn't there." She explained as I nodded slowly taking it all in and making sure she knew I was listening.
"God, I changed so drastically and my mom had no clue on what to do. I barely talked, I barely ate and I didn't leave my house unless it was to go to school. I even refused to go to my dad's grave after the funeral because denial was so much better than the reality of living in a world without him." She uttered as I watched multiple tears fall down her cheeks and she goes to wipe them but it doesn't help because more followed after.
I almost comfort her right then and there because it was one of the worst feelings seeing Dawson in pain but I realized that if I held her now, she wouldn't be able to finish what she was saying and what she was saying was important because she was opening up for the first time and for her own sake she needs to do what she teaches me and feel the pain no matter how much it hurts.
"At school, the people thought I was weird and creepy from how I dressed and how I kept myself isolated so that's when the bullying started. They would scream 'emo' at me in the hallways and everyone would laugh, throw my books down for no reason and even pull my hair in class and the teachers didn't do anything but ask them to politely stop." She scoffed with dry laughter as I looked at her in shock of all the things she had endured that I would have never guessed.
"It's funny because the Ally Dawson before my dad's death would have never taken the shit I did from those stupid and immature kids. I would have stood up for myself because that's always what my dad taught me. But...I was so depressed Austin and I didn't care about myself anymore so I let people treat me like garbage because that's exactly what I felt like." She stated as crying sounds started to exit her mouth and that's when my heart completely broke.
"It's just...I always feel so guilty now because my mother lost the love of her life and she couldn't grieve properly because I was having a meltdown." She told me as I put my hand on hers as she clinched mine tightly. "That's not your fault. You were hurting too." I spoke lowly as she finally looked in my eyes as I stared into her moist red ones that were tired from the pain they constantly witnessed.
Ally moved at a slow pace as she grabbed the cup of water I placed next to her whenever she wanted it. But instead of drinking it, she turned around her right arm, pouring the water on her wrist removing foundation as it revealed short purple marks. I stare in shock and disbelief as she switches to the left side revealing the exact same thing. "This is what I did to myself when stuff got too hard and I couldn't bare the pain anymore. Which is ironic because it only helped temporarily. Felt as if I was releasing all my inner demons and the sadness that seemed to follow me everywhere I'd go." She described as I didn't know how to respond and she continued to avoid eye contact in shame but she shouldn't be.
What the hell, Austin?! Say something!
"I use to cut myself for a year before I actually tried to kill myself." She confessed closing her eyes at the tragic memory as my eyes almost popped out of my head. No way. No way did Miss Perfect Ally Dawson try to end her life. It couldn't be. She was way too good for the world and it definitely couldn't survive without her. I know I couldn't.
"My mother found me and that was the last straw for her. She said she wouldn't let the evilness of the world take her baby girl from her too so she signed us both up for therapy. It took so long, but I eventually started to heal along with my mother and once I felt like myself again, I made a promise to my mother and more importantly to myself to always remember my own worth." She spoke a little more confidently but with sad undertones.
"After everything...all I wanted to do was help others who were also struggling in life. That's why I'm here, Austin. Not because of my college internship. Not even because I'm annoyingly optimistic. And certainly not because I am Miss Perfect who can solve any and everyone's problems." She said naming all the reasons I accused her of being in here for at one point or another as I felt extremely guilty even though I haven't thought those things for a long time now.
"I'm here because I am just as flawed as anyone else in this building. I just wanna help someone how someone helped me. That's all I ever wanted to do..." She whispered lowly as her voice cracked and one lonely tear falls down her cheek. It's amazing how gorgeous she can be even when she is crying. She looks at me after a few seconds and chuckles wiping her face.
"I know...I'm a mess!"
"No, you're not. Don't ever say that."
"It's the truth. I'm sorry I turned our perfect first date into the depressing Ally Dawson show."
"Stop!"
"Austin-"
"Dawson." I said sternly making sure she looked at me. "I'm happy you trusted me with something so personal." I told her appreciative as she nodded sadly looking back down.
"Ally." I say lowly as she looks up a little surprised because I called her by her first name and I don't do that unless I'm thinking or talking about her in my own head. She watches as I hold both her arms and lean down softly kissing both wrists and all her scars before facing her again which causes her to stare at me mesmerized and emotionally but most of all just pure love.
"I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world, Ally Marie Dawson." I confessed saying her full name as tears filled her eyes again but in happiness. "I love you." She told me shaking her head as if she felt blessed to have found me and I don't know why because I was definitely the blessed one.
I smiled wrapping her petite body into mine as she got comfortable and we sat against the wall together. "I love you...so much." I return the meaningful words before kissing her forehead gently as her eyes closed from the comfort and eventually falling asleep in my arms.
END OF CHAPTER REVIEW QUESTIONS
1. Thoughts on the session Ally did with Austin and his mother?
2. Are you enjoying Austin and Ally's relationship?
3. Did you expect Ally to ask what she did to the Dean of her college?
4. Reaction to Ally finally opening up to Austin about her own tragic past?