Author's Note: Sorry about that short break, I had my final for my summer course to study for but now I'm done :D. (I got an A) I'm probably going to try to cap this off at 25 chapters (probably gonna be a bit more, who knows), I've got a chaotic little jumble between here and there and a sweet little ending planned. I might do a Katie central companion piece that I had some ideas for (more Keffy, but with some kickass Naomily), but only if there's interest and time. I did write a unrelated Naomily one-shot if you guys are interested. But for now, hope you enjoy my tales, WKB.
Katie's POV
I wake up a bit confused, clutching a bottle of gin and wrapped in a blanket on the sofa in Effy's living room. The whole room is chaotically messy, with trash littering the place. After a yawn and a stretch, I try my feet and am so relieved that my body functions properly. It was one hell of a party and I am full of relief that my head isn't pounding like a percussion band. The sunlight streaming in from the front window, barely blocked by the thin curtains, aren't helping my eyes.
There's voices coming from behind, and so with another stretch, so I follow the sound to the kitchen. The kitchen is a disaster, just like the living room, but it has life, which is an improvement. My sister is there, smiling like an idiot, happily eating away at her rather large breakfast containing toast, muffins and an assortment of fruit. She's sitting beside Naomi fucking Campbell, who looks exhausting and is drinking out of a mug, and across from them, leaning against the counter is a rather handsome, smirking man who looks a bit like Effy. Who is currently facing me, smirking the identical smirk, drinking out of a wine goblet.
"Watch your step," Emily, blurts out, when she notices me, and without any trouble at all resumes the story she had been telling to the smirking man. And when the man notices me, his smile seems to grow.
I look down to see what barrier's in the way, and passed out on the floor, and clutching a bottle of cheap vodka, is Cook. He almost looks innocent, sleeping like a baby, with a patchy blanket to cover him and a bottle of alcohol instead of a teddy bear. I stepped over him and sat down at the kitchen table.
"So," the guy greeted, having finished hearing Emily's tale, "you're the not-Emily I kept running into last night?"
Emily snorted at this, Naomi didn't react, neither did Cook, but Effy's face turned from smirk to apathetic straightness.
"I guess," I shrug, not completly remembering. I remember having kissed someone, and waking up I had thought it was Effy, but maybe it had been him instead. I hope it was him, that would take heaps of pressure of my confused mind.
"Tony Stonem," he introduces, grabbing my hand to place a kiss on it, sort of gentleman style. His eyes seem to be twinkling.
"Right," I smile back at him, "Katie," I introduce myself.
"Emily told me you had an ex that plays for Bristol Rovers?" he asks, taking a sip from his mug and looking up at me.
"Um, yeah," I look to Emily and she shrugs, not knowing why he's asking me such random stuff either, "why?"
"Just checking," Tony smirks, "Ems is the gay twin and you're the straight one," he looks from Emily to me, "interesting." If only it was that simple.
"Fag," Effy announces, to which I'm shocked. Calling her brother a fag seems a bit rude, but my slightly hungover state made me not realize she had meant a cigarette. And like a faithfull lapdog, Emily follows her out the back kitchen door. Leaving Tony, Naomi and me, standing in the room, feeling awkward.
"Well fuck this," Naomi mutters, getting up, "I'm going back to bed."
"You're welcome, by the way," Tony shouts back at her as she steps over Cook and disappears.
"What?" I ask, clearly confused. Like Tony would ever fuck that lezzer.
"I gave up my bed for her and your sister," Tony explains after noticing my confusion.
"Emily and fucking Campbell shared a bed?" I shout, "they didn't fuck, did they?!"
"I have to go," Tony says, heading towards the hall, "I've said too much," he says, smiling a guitly-less smile. Fucking Stonem family. Fucking Emily fucking Naomi fucking Campbell. I told her to stay away from that bitch.
In an angry rage I stomp to the backdoor, but something stops me moments before I can actually ruin their quiet smoking moment. They're both sitting so closely, Emily's arm around Effy's small body, almost sisterly, and both smoking together on the steps of the porch. Its peacefull. I push the door open slightly, only so I can hear what they're saying.
"But you're happy he's back?" Emily asks Effy, looking straight at her face. I'm sure she's examining Effy's eyes, like an Effy personalized lie detector.
"Yes," she says.
"But...?"
"The way he looked at Katie," Effy says, which causes me to lean closer. Was that my name? What do I have to do with this at all?
"But I thought..." Emily fades off, leaving her sentence hanging.
"Yeah, but it's different..." Effy answers. This conversation out of context makes no sense.
"Sid and Nancy?" Emily asks, to which Effy just smiles.
"Possibly..." Effy says, "would you be okay with it?" And I realize its still me they're talking about. Effy and me, and the possibility of it. And Effy liking me. The possibility of her loving me. Its almost too much, and my curiosity outweighs everything else I'm feeling.
"Of course," Emily is smiling, as if this would be the greatest thing ever, her best friend and sister getting together. "But would she?"
Effy's answer is a simple shrug and I wish I could see her face, and try to see the emotions she hides so well. Would I be okay with it? Old homophobic twinless Katie would scream, blame Emily for gaying me up and probably go off and fuck guys to cover it up, but now, I'm really not sure. There's maybe a bit of honest curiousity, to see why it appeals so much to Emily, and maybe a bit of shock, to see Effy pining in a way after me. Effy, who can get anyone, anywhere, except straight hetero Katie. Almost like I'm a challenge. But why love? No one loves me. Not that way.
"You? And Naomi?" she asks, my interest going right back. Maybe I'll have the answer Tony didn't give me.
"Definitly," Emily answers, and with such a confidence, it almost hurts. How can she be so sure? I'm not even sure what love is, and here she is, like some glorious warrior. And I can't even be angry at her anymore. Not with all that's been revealed. I feel a bit awful, listening to this heartfelt moment they're sharing, and I can't bear to listen anymore, so I shut the door quietly and turn back around only to clutch my now beating chest.
"Fuck, Tony!" I exclaim, I thought I was alone, but apparently he had returned. With a change of shirt, he's sitting reading the news paper and finishing some of Emily's breakfast.
"Eavesdropping?" he asks without looking up from the paper. My lack of an answer seems enough for him. "Learn anything interesting?"
"No," I lie.
"Right," he replies, sounding not convinced at all. "You should of seen the surprise on Emily's face when I walked in on her. In my room. To die for." I don't even want to imagine that. I know Emily has done it with a lot of girls, but why Naomi fucking Campbell? And Tony's not making it any better. So I cross my arms and with a fit I sit down next to him.
"And the face my sister made when you..." he stops midsentence, at the arrival of Effy and Ems. "How was the smoke girls?"
"Tony, you twat!" Emily laughs, punching him as she makes her way around to sit on the last available seat across from me. "That was my fucking breakfast."
"My house, my rules," Tony smugly says, looking right at her as he stuffs the last, rather large chunk of chocolate muffin into his mouth.
"Emily. Sister time. Me. You."
She follows me to the living room where I was about to blow up in her face, shouting at her for even thinking of getting close to Naomi fucking Campbell, but getting one small look at her stops me completly.
Its an assortment of small things that make her look different, the air of cocky lesbian confidence is gone, or at least, diminished, replaced with contentment, which I can see in her eyes and smile. Instead of her smirk, its a small, cute little smile, and those eyes that normally twinkle and laugh and mock are simply just dreamy. The small glances she makes toward the steps, up where Naomi disappeared to make it obvious who she's thinking about.
So instead of saying anything, the whole rant of backstabing and betrayal I had planned, I simply sit down on the patchy couch and sigh. She joins me seconds later, observing me carefully.
"Is everything okay?" she asks, carefully rubbing my arm.
"Yeah, its just..." I'm at a loss, not really sure what to say anymore, so I shut up.
"Really?" she asks, "then what's sister time for?"
The glare in her eyes tell me only honesty will do, and so with another sigh, I comply.
"I... um... overheard what you and Effy were talking about outside," I admit.
"Oh...Oh! No, um" she looks up at me, fearfull and confused. "But what about? How much did you hear?"
"The part about Naomi," I tell her and she frowns, refusing to look into my eyes, "and the part about me." As soon as thats said, her eyes reconnect with mine, this time trying to find out how I feel about it. How I feel about Effy.
"And?" she asks, giving up on trying to figure it out herself.
"And what?"
"You? And Effy?"
"I don't know," I sigh, frowning, "I just don't know. Its really confusing."
Emily pulls me closely into a hug.
"Are you okay, though?" she asks quietly and carefully.
"No."
"I'm there for you though, sis." She comforts me.
I'm really relieved to have her, and I know that she understands how I'm feeling. She must have gone through this years ago, and she didn't have anyone there to help, so I'm fortunate to have her with me. I'm quiet for a moment, reveling in the twin bonding, before I remember what had made me so angry before. But I love Emily too much to be angry at her now, and I'm too emotionally tied up with this Effy thing to bother even trying.
And somehow, instead of being angry at Emily for going behind my back, I'm just upset she didn't tell me she had found someone.
"Why didn't you tell me about Naomi?" I ask her lightly, letting her know I'm not angry.
"Honest answer?" she asks, and I nod, "I wasn't expecting this reaction. At all."
"Anger more or less?" I ask, smiling only a bit.
"Totally," she says, laughing a bit, "I was expecting you to go all Katie fucking Fitch on me."
"Good to know you're scared of something, Ems," I reply. I had started believing she was fearless, certainly when she had stood up against Mum.
"Why didn't you?" Ems asks me.
"Why didn't I what?"
"Go all Katie fucking Fitch?" she clarifies.
"Not sure. Maybe I see it, how good you are and your fucking giddy happiness," I admit, "maybe I'm just too tired. Maybe I don't want to be like Mum."
"You're nothing like her Katie," Emily says, "and you deserve the giddy happiness too. The soppyness, the simple pure happiness."
"Really?"
"Yeah, so be brave. Don't let Mum stop you," Emily advises, "do what will make you happy, not her."
"Right," I say, "thanks Ems."
After another Fitch hug, I let her go, and send her on her way, and she giddily jumps up the steps of the Stonem house to her awaiting love.
And me, I head back to the kitchen to the awaiting Stonem siblings. I had completly forgotten about Cook, so when I get there and notice Tony and Cook fighting for the last chocolate chip muffin I can't help but laugh. Effy's watching them too, with amusement in her eye, but an apathetic smile on her face.
"Men," I say, walking up to her and leaning against the counter beside her, "always after a bit of muff."
"Men... and Emily," she smiles back. I just shrug to agree. "So was sister time eventfull?"
"Yeah, just discussing winter ball outfits," I lie. I had been looking forward to it, and though Emily pretended she didn't care and was too cool for such girly things, both me and Effy knew Emily was all about the romantic aspects of it and was excited for it.
"Please tell me you won't do a matching twin thing," Effy begs, her blue eyes ever so beautiful and shinning in mockery.
"Ha, like I could convince Ems to do that."
Mum text me then, letting me know she's waiting outside of Effy's house. I would've liked to stay, joke around with Effy some more and maybe help clean the disaster of this house, but there's stuff I need to do.
"I'll see you Monday, yeah?" I ask her, as she accompanies me to the door.
"Yeah," she nods.
"See you bitch."
Every step towards the car made me wish I had stayed to help, but I took a deep breath and got in the car.
"How was your sleepover, dear?" Mum asks, as she turns the car down the road.
"Good yeah, you know," I answer lazily.
"She wasn't there was she?" Mum asks, referring to Emily.
"Yes she was," I answer, crossing my arms, "and that 'she' is your daughter, Mum. My sister. You know, Emily."
Mum dosen't respond, she simply stays quiet.
"Your dad's seeing someone else," Mum utters, her voice laced with pain, and it shuts me right up. I'm too shocked to actually say anything. So it was true.
"Did you know?" she asks, her eyes brimming with tears.
"No," I answer, "well, Ems and I suspected something, but nothing concrete, you know."
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks, her voice cracking a bit.
"We didn't know. Didn't want to upset you if it was nothing." I tell her.
"Emily might get a whole new mum," she says. Hell, I might get a whole new mum. I can see the worry on her face, the apparent jealousy that someone might love Emily as a daughter more than her, that someone could replace her that easily.
"Than show Emily that you" I say, emphasizing it, "are her Mum. That you love her like a mum should."
We've arrived home, and I've said what I've needed to say, so I get out of the car, shut the car door behind me to help make my point and make my way inside.
I'm settling for a bath to help soothe my skin and my emotions. Nothing like being pruney to get away from the worries of the outer world.
Monday rolls around quickly and unfortunatly and I find myself at school, sitting in English, waiting for Emily, who walks in with Naomi and no Effy.
Emily would always walk into class with Effy. Naomi had recently been added as part of Emily's entrance crew, but her without Effy was strange. She sat down beside me like always, leaving Naomi to sit alone in front of us, the spot beside her empty.
"Where's Effy?" I ask her.
"Spending her last day with Tony," she answers.
"Why?" I ask almost hurt.
"You know she only gets to see him twice a year. This was a surprise visit," Emily answers, pulling out her school work, "she won't see him 'till Christmas."
Christmas wasn't that far. The winter ball was in two weeks and then it was holidays. But Tony and Effy seemed somehow to work differently than normal people, and maybe, when they were together Effy felt less different and less lonely. Like Tony understood her more than Emily or her own mother.
"She'll be back tomorrow," Emily smiles at me, both comfortingly and somewhat giddy. As if she found the torment and confusion revolving around me and Effy simply to be amusing and not terrifying.
"Fuck off, you muff munching bitch," I respond, rather rudely, but I was provoked.
Classes themselves were boring, and I occupied my time by doodling instead of paying attention. It was lunch time when I ran into Emily again.
Naomi and Cook hadn't arrived to join us in the common room, Freddie and JJ were who knows where and Panda and Thomas were being cutesy and couply elsewhere which was fine by me. As cute as they were together, their constant togetherness was a constant reminder to us unlucky single folk. At least Emily didn't flaunt her relationship. Yet. I can only imagine what'll happen when that relationship comes out into the open.
Which reminded me of my new goal. Trying to convince Emily to come to Roundview's winter ball. I know she passed it off as cheesy and a waste of time, but there's no way I'm going there without her. Even if Naomi has to come too. I'll make sacrifices.
"Come on Ems, it'll be fun," I encourage. "When was the last time you went to something like this. Dressed up, danced."
"Its gonna be lame," Ems counters, "and its for pussies."
"Last I checked you loved pussies," I remark, and she gives me a bit of a glare before laughing it off.
"My answer is still 'no'"
"You could take Naomi," I try again, "make it super romantic and couply," I suggest somewhat apathetically. I'm not exactly sure how I went from hating Naomi to super supportive older sister in one weekend, but whatever.
"Are you kidding?" Emily whispers back, hushed and a bit rushed, "Like Naomi's ever going to say yes to that."
"Cook's going." I argue back.
"Thats cuz he wants to spike the punch," Emily replies, "and he'll go to any event that has totty."
"If she goes will you go?" I ask her.
"Yeah," Emily says, smiling a bit, thinking of her girl. Gross.
"Then convince her to come."
"She's not going to want to."
"Convince her. Why wouldn't she want to?" I ask her,
"Not her type of thing," Emily answers, pouting a bit, "she's not comfortable being out yet. And I think she's a bit afraid of you."
That last part makes me smile. Its a good little piece of information I can use if she ever hurts Emily.
"Ask her okay?" I tell her. "Is Effy going?"
"Probably not," Emily says, "not her type of thing either, but if Cook's going to spike the punch, maybe."
Thank you Cook. I may not love the bastard, but right now I can't help but just appreciate him so much more. If he gets Effy to come to the ball I might just kiss him. She has to be there.
"Does that mean you're not taking anyone?" Emily asks.
"I guess not," I sigh, "just us girls. You know, go girls."
"So you said no to Freddie?" Emily asks, and I'm struck with confusion. Its written all over my face as Emily realises she just leaked something that was probably supposed to stay secret. Her eyes are wide and her mouth open. "I didn't say that. You didn't hear that."
"No, what?" I ask quickly. "Was he going to ask me?"
"I shouldn't say."
"Ems," I beg. "Emsy, please."
"Fine," she sighs, "but you didn't hear it from me."
She waits until I nod in agreement before continuing.
"He told me last week he was going to ask you Friday night. The party at Effy's. But he looked nervous so I went to smoke a spliff with him, you know, calm him down. But I'm guessing after I left her just kept going."
Now there's a few options. I can't really decide. Its all Effy's fault really. She made me start thinking like this. Emily and Effy, both challenging my views on the world. On one hand, I could accept Freddie's offer, if he asks me, or I could wait out and hope Effy goes and maybe spend an awesome night with her. Freddie is the safe option. The option my dear mother would encourage. She'd encourage it for Emily too, and she had tried to convince me to set her up with Cook. That had been hilarious, but thinking on it, they'd make a horribly pervy couple, both talking about tits and fannies all day. Maybe its for the best Ems ended up with Naomi and not Cook.
"You can't string him along, you know, if he does ask you." Emily points out, adding her own things to my mental pros and cons list. "It wouldn't really be right, you know."
"But..." I try to defend myself, "what if I'm not... you know..."
"You don't have to be anything Katie," Emily says, "just yourself. No labels, just Katie. That's why Effy... you know." She dosen't want to say 'love' and I know she's being sensitive, carefully wording things not to frighten me away. It makes me feel lame and hopeless, but I know she's right in doing it.
"But everyone else," I say, "what'll people think. I don't know if I can." Emily is the brave one. She never really cares what people label her as. She sticks up for what she wants, even if other people think its shamefull.
"They aren't worth your time, Katie." Emily advises, "be happy Katie."
I cross my arms again, thinking over those simple words. Being happy.
Emily leaves me, gifting me a hug before following Naomi and Cook, who had been waiting by the doors for her, out for their smoke break. I'm left alone to contemplate my sister's wisdom for only a minute before I notice Freddie walk in.
I dread the moment. Emily's right. Its like its enevitable. His eyes lock with mine as he approaches and I want to run, but I'm stuck on my spot on the couch. Its almost like an out of body experience, where I can't quite control my body, and I'm stuck watching. Paralysed. I'm going to have to reject him, hurt him and its going to hurt me to do it. And I have no idea how I'm going to do it.
"Hey Katie," he greets, sitting down right beside me.
"Hi Freds," I utter out.
"So the winter ball..."
"Yeah..." I nod.
"I was wondering," he says, taking a breath inbetween, "if you'd like to go with me?" He ends the phrase with a hopefull and adorable smile that just makes me frown. I have to do the right thing. I have to. For Emily. For Effy. For Freddie.
"I'm sorry," I say, frowning. "I can't Freddie."
"Oh," he responds, not hiding his disappointment at all. "Can I ask why not?"
"There's a lot going on," I say, going for the most honest, without giving away the point that I may possibly have feelings for another girl that are clearly just freaking me out. "And I really don't want to string you along. It wouldn't be fair."
"Oh. Okay."
"I'm sorry, Freddie," I say looking up at him and into his eyes. I really wish I could've gone with him. Avoided the confusion building in my head.
"No its okay."
And to avoid any more awkward tension between us, he gets up and leaves, looking somewhat like a kicked puppy. And I'm left here alone, thinking about Effy.
Effy and how happy she must be with her brother. Effy and her beautiful long brown hair. Her mysterious eyes. The way she wears long shirts like dresses. Effy and her strange little smirks. Just Effy.