First of all I'm really sorry with how long this update has taken, (me and More have had difficult last two months, which included having to read the world's worse book and a printer refusing to print an hour before essay deadline!) and I really hope this chapter makes up for it. Secondly as the next chapter is nearly finished, it should be posted by next week.

Big thank you to everyone for your reviews and/or for just reading this story. Also thanks to SSLE and MrsPhantomSylvia for your advice (Erasmus will be turning up soon)

'Smile, Thomas,' hissed Sir John, out of the side of his mouth as he came to stand at his son's side on the steps of the church, 'you are getting married! Not being dragged to Golgatha!'

'I know, father,' said Thomas, quietly, looking down at the snow, focusing on its crisp whiteness, trying to forget the painful memories, 'I know,'

'John! Johanna!,' snapped Elizabeth, as she walked passed her two youngest siblings on the way to join Thomas and their father. On the night, when it was revealed that she would soon be an aunt, she had found herself warming to Lucy. Elizabeth deep down, admitted that the lower-born woman did make her brother happy, but when the news had reached them of Lucy marital status and the tragic death of the baby, she had found herself relieved. After all, what good was a little seamstress to a family from the aspiring legal classes, with land and property?, 'remember be happy. We do not want poor Jane thinking her wedding is a funeral!'

Both John and Johanna together glared at their sister with fixed, fake smiles on their faces, which caused their skin to sting in the early morning frost. Elizabeth met their glares and rolled her eyes at the wide, sarcastic grins on her siblings pale faces, as she realised it was the best show of affection she was going to muster from the family's youngest members. Besides this was not the place or time, as out of the corner of her eye Elizabeth saw Jane and her family arriving, for the tension that was simmering below the surface to erupt.

'Poor Jane,' muttered Johanna, pulling her furs tight around her as she made her way to church, stomping her feet as she went, 'ha poor Jane! What about poor Lucy?'

Johanna had loved Lucy. She was fun and sweet. Practical and helpful, with a beautiful face that could shine with confidence-she was perfect for Thomas and the family. And Johanna missed their chats-she had been so looking forward to having her as a sister. For Jane to Johanna, seemed to be a puppet, who other's had trained to walk and talk-she was not what Thomas needed. Not that Johanna had voiced her opinion, as Elizabeth and their stepmother had warned her to keep her jaw firmly closed, but it did not stop Johanna's blood from boiling. She knew her brother was not strong and deep down, Johanna had a feeling that he had not put up a fight for poor Lucy and the unborn babe that was tragically to die.

As Jane and her family approached, John did not move and just watched with glazed eyes. Why was Thomas the one who gained everything? If John had brought a girl home and announced that she was carrying his child, he knew his father would be less than accommodating-he would have thrown his second son into gutter. But with Thomas, even though it was sad what had befallen his brother, John could not help but feel bitter. Thomas was being rewarded for breaking the rules by being married off to sweet Jane. He did not love her-he still loved Lucy, though Thomas would always deny it. John loved Jane, they would be a better fit and he could give her the carefree life she craved, rather than a life full of books and learning. Jane was fragile enough without Thomas' troubles and Greek literature. John could have looked after her and he truly wanted to marry her, but second sons never got what they wanted.

'Poor Jane, poor Lucy,' he muttered bitterly under his lips and glared at his brother, whose mouth was fixed in a smile as he saw his bride approach, 'poor me,'

Lucy tied the ribbons of her dress and noticed that for the first time, she was having to wear her strings slightly looser than normal. After tying them in a firm bow, she placed her hands on her slightly swollen stomach and managed to smile as for the first time, as she saw with her eyes that she was still carrying her precious baby. The baby had been safe in her belly for almost three months and soon she would have to admit that she was still carrying the child created in act of love, but for now it would just be a special secret.

'It will be alright, my sweetheart,' Lucy whispered, holding her little belly, 'I will look after you. We will be alright, me and you, just you wait and see. We will have such a good life together, such fun. Just me and you...,'

As Lucy a spoke those words, she tried so hard not to cry. Her words were true-it was forever going to be her and the child, now growing inside her, it was the two of them against the world. But despite the fact it had been almost a month since she had lost Thomas, she still found it hard to believe, that she would never see him again.

'And where did you get to last night, missy?' smiled Tasmin, chopping away at the vegetables, as she saw Lucy rush into Dogmersfield's kitchens with her pale cheek glowing red, 'poor Edward was so upset that he didn't get to dance with you,'

'Poor little lamb,' replied Lucy, reaching for a knife as she started to help Tasmin prepare the breakfast, but as she did so, she noticed a red mark appear on her bare shoulders and tried desperately to cover it with her loose hair, 'tell him, I promise to make it up to him, but I was feeling so unwell last night,'

Tasmin continued to smile as she went back to her work, trying her best not to laugh. Joan, however, was not quite so discreet and went over to Lucy, pulling back her friend's long blonde hair, revealing to all the redness of her lower neck.

'So,' whistled Joan, 'what kind of illness needed your Master More to bite at your neck? Well, I know it weren't a headache. Mind you, I'm surprised you ain't got one after all that groaning and banging of the headboard,'

'Joan!' hissed Lucy, with a scowl on her still slightly flushed face, 'you had no right,'

'Oh! I didn't want to listen!' Joan teased, kissing her best friend on the cheek, before returning back to the apples she was peeling, 'I was just trying to find you, cause William said you'd been crying. You weren't in our lodgings, so I went to his rooms. Don't worry, I didn't hang around too long-I was just shocked that he had it in!'

'Oh, don't be saucy, Joan. Leave her be,' laughed Tasmin, going over to Lucy, whose bright blue eyes were now staring coldly at her best friend, 'she's in love...'

But before she could continue, Tasmin put an arm around Lucy's waist and led the younger woman out into the yard, where Tasmin's two children, Edward and Isolde were feeding the chickens. Little Edward, still upset that Lucy had not been at the party last night. scowled as he saw her.

'Lucy,' said Tasmin softly, as she looked over at her children, 'I'm sure Master More loves you deeply and he does seem a kind man, but take it from someone who knows, love ain't simple, especially if you two ain't the same, if you catch my drift. What you two share now, can easily be taken away by those around you, leaving you alone and with a knife in your heart,'

Lucy had laughed at Tasmin's words, before kissing her on the cheek, then going over to Edward so she could keep her promise of dancing with him. She was grateful for her friend's concern, but they were fears, built on the broken promises of Tasmin's life, not Lucy's. Thomas would never break her heart, the way that Earl's son had broken Tasmin's and he would never cause her hurt. He would look after her and the lives they would create together...

Tasting salt on her lips, Lucy tried to suppress the thought that Thomas would never hold their child. There was no point dwelling on what could never be. She had to think clearly, to make sure her she could gain from the Cardinal the best possible future for her child. She would have to smile and nodded her, as she danced to the Cardinal's tune and if that meant having to forget Thomas' existence, then it had to be done.

'Lucy,' whispered Joan, as she creped carefully into the chamber, with Tommy following close behind, 'you ready?'

'As I'll ever be,' answered Lucy, forcing a smile as she reached for her shawl, 'did you tell father and auntie about my secret,'

'Yes,' replied Tommy, shrugging shoulders as he leaned against the door, 'mother ran down to the church and lit every candle in the building, while uncle... well, it took me and three of his regulars to stop him from marching round to Master More's with his pistol,'

'This ain't Thomas fault,' sighed Lucy, so quietly that she thought no one could hear, 'none of this is Thomas' fault'

'Lucy,' said Tommy, knowing he had no right to speak thus, but sometimes, despite his age, he felt he was the only one in the family, who spoke any sense-well the only one bar Lucy, 'why don't you just tell him about the baby. He ain't going to kick you into the gutter, Lucy. He looked after you and the baby,'

Lucy smiled and went over to her young cousin and kissed on his pale cheek, as she pushed one of his wild black curls behind his ear. She loved her baby cousin. All the family, thought poor Tommy a feral child, who no one could control, but Lucy knew that the wild, young boy, who was often in fights, was more deeper than that.

'I know, he would Tommy and that's why I can't tell him. He'd drive himself mad with the guilt and I can't have him doing that to himself. Besides, all he could do is gives us money,' shrugged Lucy sadly, trying to not let the tears again fall from her eyes, as she had cried so much over the last month, that she felt that if she started again, she would never stop, 'and I don't want his money. All I want is...I can't have him around me, not now. Not knowing it can't be. Knowing that even to think of wanting him to hold me, will damn us both,'

An eerie silence fell among the small group and Lucy trying to stop her tears, as she went over to the bed and picked up the small bundle of belongs she had, before making her way to the door.

'Well,' she continued forcing a smile, to cover the pain as she felt as she remembered she could no longer cry in Thomas' arms, 'shall we go, can't keep the Dowager Princess of Wales waiting, can we?'

'Please don't go, Lucy,' pleaded Joan, suddenly grabbing hold her best friend's arm and squeezing it tight, 'I need you!'

'Durham Palace ain't far away, Joan. You can...'

'But when they send you away, what do I do after that!' Joan continued to plead, falling to her knees and wrapping her arms around Lucy's waist, weeping raw tears into the heavy fabric of her close friend's dress, 'how can I see you then? You can't leave me! I need you! I'll go mad if I can't see you! William was so cruel, when I told him there was no baby! He said I was an ugly, stupid mare, who wasn't even a good ride! And I know he's got a tart, like you said. I can smell her on him and some money gone missing-I should have listened to you, Lucy! I was so foolish! I thought he loved me!'

'Oh Joan, Joan, please,' gasped Lucy, trying to loosen her friend's grip on her expecting belly, 'please, Joan. The baby. Hush now. Come on, I need you to be strong,'

Joan let go of her friend and falling back on to her heels, as she wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her dress. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to prove to her dear friend that she did not need constant looking after, but it was no good. Her mother and father had always spoilt her, never forcing her to help out at home and always letting her have her own way. Then the Sweat had carried them off, leaving Joan with no option but to go to her grandparents, who were less than indulgent and forced her out to work and into the care of Lucy.

'But I can't get by without you,' she pleaded, looking up at her, desperately trying to stop her tears, 'please don't leave me with William,'

'Joan,' smiled Lucy, lowering herself to her knees. For the first time in a long while, Lucy felt briefly some peace. It was not that she wanted Joan to be unhappy in her marriage, but it was nice to feel wanted again, to feel someone in need of her love, 'it's just for a few months, then when they move me, you can come with. Then it will like it was before, when Georgie was alive. Just me, you and the baby. And we can forget about this place and William...and...and...'

Lucy felt the smile fall, as she finally said aloud the words that had been haunting her since that fateful December morn.

'and I can forget about Thomas,'

Standing in the corner of the room, Thomas watched as Elizabeth led his new wife around the large chamber, introducing her to his various relations and their father's friends. She kept blushing and staring at the floor every time someone new was introduced to her. Poor Jane. She looked so small in her pale pink wedding dress, decorated with tiny ivory peals, trying to be the perfect bride and make her new husband proud; but every time Thomas looked closely at her, he felt his heart crack as he realised that the pretty blonde bride was not the beautiful girl with the sparkling blue eyes.

'She seems very nervous,' came a voice in Thomas' ear, bringing him away from his thoughts, 'maybe she needs her husband,'

Thomas turned and found he managed a small smile as he saw that the voice belonged to his friend, Antonio Bonvisi, who (bar Erasmus), sometimes felt to Thomas, as though he was the only true friend he had. They seemed so different, so incompatible as friends. He was flamboyant and fond of the finer things in life, which the money from wine trade had brought him, unlike Thomas who seemed permanently torn between the two cities of St Augustine-but at that moment in time, he was Thomas' only ally. His father, step-mother and Elizabeth were constantly reminding him that his loyalties lied with Jane, whilst John and Johanna, who were both stood in the opposite corner, were glaring at him for forgetting that his loyalties lay with Lucy.

'Elizabeth is better at these thing than me,'

'Ah, but you forget, Thomas,' replied Antonio, grinning as he lent against the wall, 'I know how good a lawyer you can be,'

'Maybe,' shrugged Thomas, 'but not a good husband,'

'With time that will alter,' continued Antonio in his light Italian accent, 'you will just have to remember the girl you wanted, is not the one who now wears your ring,'

Looking at his friend, Thomas found it hard to keep the smile on his lips. He had not seen Lucy, since he had left her weeping on the floor, her arms wrapped round her expecting belly as she called him a coward. He was a coward but it was for the best, was it not? Holding her and telling her all would be well, would have been a lie. Staying with Lucy, knowing that being together would mean a life of more sin and end any chance of redemption. How could he consign Lucy to an eternity amongst fires? But then, he should have gone to her when they lost their child…their child…Lucy's belly would be showing the proof of their love now, if the baby had been consigned to limbo.

'You know,' said Antonio, placing an arm round his friend's shoulder. He could see that Jane was a sweet young thing, who would be the perfect wife, but he could also see, what most in the room were trying to ignore, that the groom was still in love with someone else, 'it is possible for someone to love two people,'

'But I…' started Thomas, but it would have been another lie if he had denied it. He thought of Lucy every day, since he last saw her. She was with him when he woke, to the moment he closed his eyes at night, but even in the darkness, she was still with him. He would feel her head resting on his chest and her arms around his waist. No matter how hard he prayed, Lucy still haunted him, 'it will change with time,'

'Perhaps,' smiled Antonio, patting his friend on the back, 'but I am Tuscan. Loving two people comes naturally to us,'

To Thomas' surprise, he found himself laughing at his friend's remark, but as Antonio went away to speak with Jane's father, Thomas felt the laughter go as his own father appeared at his side.

'On the whole, Thomas,' Sir John remarked, taking his oldest son by the arm and leading him into hall away from all the many guests, 'I believe that today has gone very well and because of that, I am proud of you,'

'Thank you, father,' replied Thomas, meeting his father's gaze, thought he found it difficult to hold.

'You could try smiling at bit more Thomas or the Colt's will start to think something is not right,'

'Yes. Sorry, father,'

Sir John looked at his son sharply and found that the annoying headache of his, returned. He had got his son to the altar and he had got him to say the vows that would bind him to Jane until God choose to part them-he should be celebrating. But instead, Sir John found himself torn in two. Thomas was his first born son, he was his favourite and he hated seeing the man, who usually wore a smile, walk around the house as if he was waiting his execution, but what good would it do. Lucy was still married, their baby dead-it was all the more reason to marry sweet Jane. Life did not stop because of tragedy in your life. When Agnes had died, John had still gone about his daily business, only altering his routine so he could attend the funeral. There was no point in wasting a good business opportunity and Jane was certainly that, even if he would have to be even harsher on his favourite son to stop him from ruining his chance.

'I know these past few months have been difficult for you Thomas,' he continued, trying to force authority into his voice as he head pounded, 'and you have done well in overcoming that 'unfortunate business,' but do you know what would be the perfect way to find peace and make amends with God?'

Thomas nodded his head slowly, knowing what his father was about to say. It was the thing he was most dreading since he had agreed to the marriage, but as the evening drew nearer, he knew he would soon have to face his fears.

'Good boy,' remarked Sir John, slapping his son on the back with such force Thomas stumbled forward, 'at least I do not have to explain to you how to get Jane plump,'

'Mother says,' said Jane, as she nervously played with the ribbons of her shift as her eyes looked down at the blanket's many patterns, 'I am not to complain if it hurts,'

Thomas winced as he heard her childlike voice and prayed under his breath as he undressed. He did not want to do this, but he had no choice. The small blonde creature, now lying in his bed, was his lawfully wedded wife, but nothing about tonight felt right to him. It felt wrong and dirty, as though it was a sin-yet it was all meant to be proper in the eyes of the Lord.

'I will not hurt you, Jane,' Thomas whispered as he sat down on the bed, 'maybe if you tried to think of other things,'

'Mother said I should lie back and think of fields of England,' Jane replied, with a little laugh as Thomas gingerly climbed into bed beside her, 'but I think I will think of the flowers in Kent, if it is fine with you?'

'Yes,' choked Thomas, wanting this even less than her, 'yes, that's fine with me,'

Jane nodded and the two of them laid down beside each other in the darkened bedchamber for awhile, not sure what to do next. Thomas continued to prayer, both under his breath and in his mind, wanting forgiveness and guidance in what had occurred and what was going to occur. The thought of it felt so wrong, as if it was a lie and it was a lie. He did not want this, he wanted someone else and the thought of having to make love to his wife, felt like he was betraying Lucy, but if he did not, he would be betraying God.

'Do I need to part my legs?' Jane suddenly asked in a whisper, taking Thomas away from his prayer.

'Yes,' answered Thomas, gathering whatever strength he could find, to move himself so that he was leaning over Jane, who still looked so small and fragile beneath him, 'yes it would,'

He kissed her on the forehead as he moved himself on top of her and she wriggled around, trying to find some comfort before the task she had to endure. Finally, after many fumbled attempts, Thomas started to pull up her shift, wincing as he felt Jane smooth, softy skin under his hands. It was not like Lucy's skin, which was soft, but with a rough edge to it, which made his body tingle. Nothing of Jane was like Lucy. Both where blonde and blue eyed but that was it. Lucy's hair was golden when it wanted to be and her blues eyes sparkled and dance, whilst Jane's was just plain. And they were different in mind and in body. Jane was a mouse and small in frame, but Lucy had the strength and courage and her body possessed curves made for kissing and caressing…

'Oh God,' moaned Thomas to himself, 'Oh God, Lucy!'

His clumsy fingers had trembled more than usual as Lucy guided them to the ribbons of her dress. Just a few tugs of the ribbons was all that was needed for the dress to fall from Lucy's body, but Thomas found he need her help with the task. Many a night, he had pictured her in such a way, the images of them joined together had danced before his eyes. He had spent the nights trying to suppress such thoughts. But things were changing. Since that first time in the small double bed in the village inn, Thomas had found himself endlessly questioning the sins of the flesh. That first night the act had been clumsy, with him have to rely on Lucy to show him how to behaviour and act. Then later, he had needed Lucy's kind words to easy his troubled mind.

In the end, it only took one tug of Lucy's ribbons for her to become free of the tightly bound fabric, but as the dress, slowly creep off the tips of her shoulders and started to reveal more of Lucy's flesh, Thomas bite hard on his lip. He should be panicking, he thought, as his eyes caught sight of Georgie's rosary hanging around the base of Lucy's neck. He should come to his senses and prayer to God and Saints to deliver him from temptation...but Lucy was not temptation.

Finding the courage, Thomas looked straight into Lucy's eyes and saw the fears he was feeling, reflected back at him, but within those perfect, sparkling blue eyes, Thomas also saw comfort and compassion looking back. Lucy loved him. She did not expect him to be anything but himself. She never forced him to be anything other than he was. He could tell her secrets, that he buried from others. He could tell her his fears, which he would discuss with a jest when speaking to others. In Lucy he had found the perfect friend and lover, who would soon to be his wife.

'Thomas,' Lucy whispered nervously as she leant forward, bushing her lips against his. She looked so beautiful, thought Thomas, as he welcomed her into his mouth, even more breathtaking as her dress started to fall away from her body, 'te amo,'

'Te amo,' replied Thomas, as they pulled away briefly, before returning to each other. This time, as their tongues became embedded deeper in each other's mouths, the fire which they had both ignored on their previous encounters, became lit.

Still kissing, Thomas' pushed the remainder of Lucy's dress down her body, as she hurriedly pulled his shirt over his head, before both of them, returned their hands to embracing each other. It felt so good feeling other's flesh on their bare skin, that their arms pulled the other closer, so close that it almost hurt, but any amount of pain, was out done by pleasure and as was any notions of guilt in Thomas' mind.

It was Lucy, who finally lead them to the bed, taking hold of Thomas' hand and guiding him to the still made bedstead. She laid down on the cool, woollen blanket, her long hair falling around her, as she pulled Thomas down on top of her. Both their breathing became heavy as they kissed again, their hands both falling on the tops of Thomas' breeches. There was nothing sinful now, everything felt so pure, as they both became equal.

' Tecum vivere amem, tecum obeam libens,' whispered Lucy, before crying out her lover's name as they became one.

'Lucy,' gasped Thomas, as his mouth roamed her neck and breasts, tasting lavender on his tongue and lips as he explored areas that he previously thought forbidden, 'Lucy,'

Lucy gasped and cried her responds as their sweat, glistening bodies moved in a perfect rhythm. The first time had been slight awkward, the other few times fun, but tonight, with the sticky friction of their bodies, it became the perfect pleasure.

'Thomas,' moaned Lucy at the top of her lungs, as she threw her head back and her hips buckled against his, 't...e a...a...a...amo,'

Moments later, as Thomas felt his love's nails embed themselves and scratch his back, ripples of heart stopping pleasure shook his body and causing him to fill Lucy with warmth.

Finally it was over and Thomas, biting on his lip, rolled off Jane as soon as the act was complete and buried his head in the cool, feathered pillow.

'God Lucy!' he moaned, the feathers muffling his cries from his bride, 'Lucy! Christ Lucy!'

It had felt as if his body had been drained of life as he buckled and collasped on top of Lucy, whose moans were still escaping from her mouth. Their foreheads resting on each other, Lucy's long, now tangled hair, became stuck to both their bodies as they kissed, before Thomas went to move off of her. But as he did so, Lucy stopped him, wrapping her legs so tight around his waist, that he had no choice but to remain inside her.

'Please stay,' whispered Lucy with a smile, as she ran a hand down his hot face, 'I need you to stay,'

'Te amo,' replied Thomas as he kissed her gently on the lips, happy that Lucy wanted to remain as one for just a little longer, 'I will always stay with you,'

'You know,' came a faint voice, which, though small, brought Thomas back to earth with a sudden cold, hard thump, 'it did not hurt as much as I thought,'

Turning out of the pillow, Thomas faced his wife, whose pretty face was slightly red and was smiling sweetly at him through the candle light. It was over now, there was no going back and maybe with God's blessing, there was still a chance for him and Lucy to enjoy the lights of Heaven.

'Good,' replied Thomas, kissing her on the forehead once again, before getting out of bed, pulling his night shirt down and going over to a pitcher of water, to pour himself a drink, 'good,'

'Do you want to again?' asked Jane shyly as she sat up in bed and watched Thomas gulp down his water. Despite the sharp early plain, it had started to feel nice towards the end and she was beginning to think she would enjoy her night time duty, 'Mother says it's your will,'

'No,' muttered Thomas, forcing a smile as he put his cloak round his shoulders and made his way to the door, 'you have had a busy day, you need to rest. I think I will sleep in the next chamber tonight,'

Jane went to object. She was scared of the dark and was use to sharing a bed with her sister, whose company always made the fears easier to bear, but before she could plead with Thomas to stay and keep her company, Jane found her new husband had gone.