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Now, this chapter is long because I wanted to make up for the long wait. I hope you guys like it xx
Thank you for reading :D
…
Not betaed. All mistakes are mine.
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Can anyone teach me how to operate AO3?
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Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar
Word Count : 12804
"Love is an invisible bond that combines two souls together."
Chapter Nineteen : Together?
Felicity Smoak was really busy.
Like really really busy.
The co-generation product that had been lined for quite a long time was finally a get go. Now Felicity won't say that it was a hundred percent ready but it had finally gotten past the beginning stages and was finally ready. The idea was something that Ray and she had thought of a long time ago but it never really happened until now.
To top it all, the project was to be launched by the Applied Sciences Division which was renamed after Robert Queen while the project itself was also named after Robert Queen. Which means it would garner public attention and paparazzi too. And then, they had to make sure that the project itself would work.
She was really busy.
"Get on with this," She closed the file, handing in over to Gerry who nodded his head. She got up, making a move out of the cabin, "Ask Richard to club a file with everything related to this project. From finances to the power output, I want everything down in two files. One for me and one for Mr. Queen." She stated while walking, Gerry right beside her. "Alright?"
"Got it, Ma'am-" Gerry stopped when Felicity shot him a look, "Felicity."
"Good." She grinned a little, "Now I'm down at the site with Mr. Queen and Walter. If you need anything, you can come down there." She ended her side of the conversation and then made her way towards the lift.
Taking a deep breath, she pressed the button before waiting for the lift to approach.
She really had a long day ahead of her.
…
"I must say," Walter started, "You both have done a brilliant job." Oliver smiled a little before answering, "This was all Felicity." He declared.
The idea was something that she had put forward a while ago and it had managed to impress the board of directors who were willing to help if necessary. Although, Oliver did play a part in it, it had been Felicity who had worked hard on it, along with the people working in the Applied Sciences Division, "And Richard." He added as an afterthought, he happened to be the head of the said division.
"What about Richard?" They heard a voice and pivoted their head ever so slightly in Felicity's direction, "We were just talking about how hard you all have worked on this project." Walter answered her question, "I wish Robert was around to see this. He always wanted to-"
"Help people." Felicity completed his sentence as her eyes flickered towards the sign that said – Robert Queen Co-generation Project.
"He would have been proud."
Yeah, he would have.
She glanced around, wanting to check if everything was get going. They were people moving from here and there, their arms loaded with boxes that she was sure contained a few electronic components. She took a deep breath before turning towards the people standing right beside, "I should check on the material-"
"I've already done that." Oliver cut her off and Felicity blinked, "All of it?" Her lips parted a little in surprise and Oliver smiled a little before nodding, "All of it."
She was one of the reasons why he was so invested in this project. She had been working on it for quite a long time but for the past few days, it had taken a complete toll on her and Oliver was happy. Because it distracted her. She became too focused on her job that she had forgotten about the emotional rollercoaster they had been going through for the past few weeks.
It was good. It was better than anything to be honest. She talked to him. Not in general, never in general to be honest-but about work and Oliver was glad that at least something was happy. "I should still go check though before things become chaotic-"
"You worry too much. I've have this under control." Felicity frowned a little before nodding her head. Oliver was working well these days and as much as she tried to deny, a small part of her was happy – because he was the co-CEO, duh.- that he getting back to his old self.
Now not the old self that he was during her initial days in Starling (okay, maybe that minus the whole being an asshole part) but the old self he was before. She could see Oliver and despite everything, the thought of that made her smile.
But that didn't change anything, right?
Of course it didn't.
She won't let it.
"So, you when do you want to have the press conference?" Walter asked the duo who were staring at each other, snapping them out of their reverie, "Huh?" Felicity mumbled, a bit flustered.
"There is no need for that, Walter." Felicity closed her eyes, recognizing the voice almost instantly, "Mom," She heard Oliver greet his motherand Felicity reluctantly turned towards her, nodding her head ever so slightly just to acknowledge her presence. "Felicity." Moira smiled at her and Felicity smiled back albeit reluctantly.
Felicity had always been aware of the fact that Moira always wanted the best for her son. Even back when they were dating, she always used to eye Felicity sceptically as if unsure whether she was good enough for him and then, the more time she started spending with his family-she started to warm up to her and Felicity was glad about it. Robert had become her dad so easily, but it took a while before Moira became the 'mom'. She figured it was because of their personality differences. Her dad always told that she was hard to handle and even if it had taken a long time for them to get along, they did eventually.
But then, they got divorced and Felicity wasn't surprised when she sided with Oliver because he was her son. She just didn't expect to be receiving such a hard time from them because honestly, they were her family too, weren't they?
And now they expected the situation to go back to normal but it can't and it won't. Somewhere in the near future, Felicity could see herself be civil with them but apart from that nothing. Besides, she was only here for a couple of months, right? Get this company on track and then it hand it over to Oliver before getting out of their lives forever.
Yeah, that was the plan.
"I was thinking about hosting a gala," Moira started and Felicity focused her attention towards her, "Since it is named after Robert, I want it to be grand. I want people to know how much this will help them and how hard you all have worked on it."
"That seems like a good idea." Walter supplied and Oliver hummed in agreement while Felicity didn't utter a word.
An industrial gala at the Queen Mansion?
No way.
"Actually I think it is better if we-"
"Felicity," Moira started, her voice soft and Felicity resisted the urge to run her index finger through her ear because even now, it didn't seem like reality when she talked to her politely, "I know we have our issues but this is for Robert. Do it for him."
Felicity sighed.
"Of course." She mumbled out and Moira smiled at her, "Thank you."
Felicity simply nodded her head before looking away.
Party at Queen Mansion.
Fate just keeps screwing with her, right?
…
"So, what do you think?" Felicity sighed as she finally told her mom everything that they had been planning to do for the past few weeks.
"Sweetheart, that is amazing." Donna smiled and Felicity nodded, "Our Company is the leading multinational company in Starling, you know? First the acquisition, now this project." She bit back a smile, "Things are going well." She clarified all of a sudden, shaking her head. "Not in my personal world." She blinked, "I mean my personal world is fine too but you know, how ex-family, ex-husband stuff, it's not fine. I mean it is fine but not fine fine."
Donna laughed, "I get it. I mean not everything-"She started, referring to the business stuff, "But something." She paused for a second, "About all of this going on-"
"Hey," Felicity looked up and Donna stopped talking midway, "Am I interrupting something?" Oliver asked, his voice dropping when he noticed the iPad in Felicity's hands, "As a matter of fact, yes." Felicity's voice was crisp.
Oh, things were so not well in her personal world.
"I'm sorry but-" Oliver stopped for a second, breathing a little, "Mom was planning on having the gala the day after tomorrow, is that-"
"Wait, Moira's planning it?" Donna's voice ricocheted across the small space, "She's…nicer?"
Oliver's lips twitched a little, "Is that…is that Donna?" He asked and Felicity sighed before nodding. The next second, she turned the iPad in his direction and Donna blinked a little at the sudden change of the surroundings, "Mom meet Oliver. Oliver meet mom." She ranted off as this was the first time they had seen each other.
"Oliver," Donna started and Oliver smiled a little, "I wish I could have said it was nice seeing you." His smile dimmed, "Donna-"
"But unfortunately, I can't. So why don't we skip this awkward exchange?" She didn't try to hide the fact that she had no interest in talking to him and Felicity almost opened her mouth to stop her but instead chose to bite her lip instead. "I-"Oliver paused, looking away for a second, not knowing what to say, "I wish you could have said that too." He uttered out and Felicity blinked, her mouth parting over ever so slightly.
Oliver let out a little sigh, "Felicity, I wanted to ask-are you…are you okay with the gala being day after tomorrow?" Felicity nodded her head, "Uh..yeah. We need a day to get all of this together."
"I know." Oliver spoke before pausing, "I wish things were different too, Donna." He looked at her ex-mother-in-law, "I really wish they were." His eyes flickered towards his ex-wife before he turned around and left the cabin. And Felicity took that as her cue as she turned the iPad around.
"He looks…" Donna started with a frown.
"Remorseful." Felicity supplied almost unconsciously, "Unfortunately, that doesn't help my case." She tried to laugh it off, her face coiling up ever so slightly as she contemplated, "He…" Her voice trailed off as she stared at the cabin door, the place where he had been standing moments ago, "He really does, doesn't he?" Her voice softened ever so slightly as she looked ahead, not looking at her mother.
And a small part of her wanted the same as him.
She wishes things were different too.
Alas, they weren't.
"Felicity," Donna's voice snapped her out of her trance and she focused back on her, "Huh?" Her eyebrows rose, "You were saying something?"
"Yup." She nodded her head, "I'm sitting here in my house, in my pyjamas-"
"Uhuh," Felicity nodded her head, her hand coming underneath her chin.
"You don't introduce me to billionaires when I'm wearing pyjamas." Donna spoke emphatically, "You don't."
"You look nice though."
"I always look nice." Her mother stated, "But not the best. The point is-you don't introduce me to billionaire when I'm in my pyjamas, especially when I'm trying to sound threatening."
"That didn't sound threatening though."
"Like I said, it's the pyjamas."
…
Donna sighed the minute she got off her laptop. She pushed it towards the side, her mind scrambling as she recalled her conversation with Felicity.
Donna knew.
Of course she did.
She knew her daughter still had feelings for him. Come to think of it, they never really go away-she knew how long did it take for her to start dating again-to forget her own past. When Felicity was young, this was probably the only fear she had stuck in her mind. That she'll end up alone too and she did. Before she had met Oliver in person, she knew her daughter had feelings for him. She used to light up like a Christmas tree when she talked about him.
She had been in love with him.
She was still in love with him.
However, the first time she had met him-she didn't notice her daughter. She noticed the wide smile on the face of her future son-in-law, his eyes bright as he greeted her. She noticed the way his hand lingered on the small of her back, the way he teased her just enough to irk her up but then also knew how to reassure her, the quiet exchanges between them that spoke volumes.
He had been it for her Felicity.
To be honest, she wasn't surprised when Oliver had popped the question. It was clear that the couple was in love. Although, she was surprised when Oliver came to her a few days later-asking for her permission, babbling about the proposal had been spontaneous and he didn't get the time to ask her permission. He had reassured her that he wasn't going to leave her and even if Donna didn't need that reassurance- she knew- she was glad that her Felicity had ended up with him.
And then, they got married and Donna couldn't have been happier. She remembered how much did Felicity care for his family, how much did she seem to be a part of it. When she started calling Oliver's dad her dad, it made her feel happy because she had found her family. She had found someone to walk her down the aisle-she had found someone she called her 'dad'. It was like all the voids in her life were filling up. She wouldn't admit this but she has cried when she saw Felicity and Robert dance at the wedding. He had a great family-she had a great family, even Moira was good back in the day, his sister was a sweetheart, and his grandmother was probably one of the coolest people she had ever come across.
And that was saying something since she was pretty cool herself.
And then Conner came. She had been glad that she had made it in time just to see her grandson and he was beautiful. Because let's face it-blue eyes and blonde hair was a deathly combination-and she was elated. He reminded her of the time when her Felicity was a little girl and God, had she missed that.
Her Felicity had entered motherhood and she glowed. It's like life takes a turn for the better. Hey, they say a mother's life reside inside her child, right?
And then they lost him. Donna remembered the time when she had received the news that Felicity and him were in an accident. She had booked the next flight to Starling, all the while chewing her nails-and she never chews her nails because hello? They need to look beautiful-and praying to God that they were alright
He was gone before she had made it there.
She remembered falling on the hospital chairs that were lined up in the hallway, her heart dropping into her stomach. The cries of the Queen Family echoed across the hallway and she remembered a couple of reassurances that they had whispered but it was all in vain-
Because he was gone.
Dead.
And in that one moment all that Donna had been able to think about his was first birthday party that had happened a month ago, he was just one.
As she allowed had herself to cry, another dreadful realization had hit her.
Felicity and Oliver.
And in that moment, Donna had stood up from her chair and had allowed herself to peek into the hospital room. The scene was still engraved in her mind.
Her daughter curled up around her husband, her hand clenching his shirt in her hand tightly. Lips wobbling, her eyes sewn shut as if afraid that if she opened them she would have to accept reality.
She remembered everything.
She remembered the look on her daughter's face.
It was the same look she had when Donna had talked to her and told her that her father had left. She had clung to her with the same look on her face, afraid that her mother would leave her too.
She had been afraid that she'll lose Oliver too.
She couldn't make out what they had been talking about but Felicity had kept on mumbling something repeatedly which had only made Oliver's arms tighten around her before he had leaned down to kiss her forehead which had a bandage covering it. She had then shifted her eyes towards Oliver who had been biting his lip all along and Donna had been sure that he had been trying to control his sobs.
But even then, a small tear had managed to escape his eye.
Donna had felt her heart break in two.
And then things became worse.
Felicity cried but she didn't talk to anyone. She usually just sat in one corner, staring at nothing and Donna didn't know how to help her.
No one did.
Oliver had tried talking to her but she didn't respond. Donna didn't know how to help them. She cried for her daughter, she cried for her son-in-law who was didn't know what to do-who felt like he had felt like the accident had taken away his son and his wife too.
But then she opened up to him. Just a tiny bit but she did and Donna had felt hopeful. Eventually, she had to go back to Vegas but she had been hopeful that they'll find their way back to each other.
They didn't.
A couple of months later, she got to know that they were in they were about to get divorced and she had shouted at Felicity, demanding answers but she didn't listen to her.
Instead, she had started crying brutally.
And that was when Donna got to know what had happened.
She didn't believe it at first.
Because they were in love. They loved each other so much-how was this possible?
But then, when she did-she was furious.
She had tried calling Oliver but every time she did, he didn't pick up or worse he just cut it off. It made her realize how intense the situation really was.
She had asked Felicity to call them and just try to talk them – once.
Once.
And she did.
She didn't know what did they say to her but it certainly wasn't good since she had started to break down again.
Felicity Smoak.
That is what she used to mumble.
"Not a Queen, Smoak." She used to murmur.
And Donna had felt her heart break all over again.
She was lost.
Lost without her husband and her child. She used to blame herself for her child's death. Blame herself for something that was inevitable. She didn't sleep at nights because she couldn't. She just couldn't. Donna remembered how long it took her to be herself again. She had tried to commit suicide and that was when Donna realized how far she was really gone and that was when she shifted to Central City.
She had almost lost her daughter.
And the thought itself made her want to cry.
Then things had started to change, she went to work-distracted herself completely from all the tragedies of her life and even if Donna knew that in the long run, this thing won't help her she let it happen.
Because she was selfish.
She didn't want to see her daughter suffer. Suffer because of a man who didn't even care about her.
It had taken a long time for her to be herself again. They were times that Donna had wanted to talk to the Queen family, demand explanations but Felicity stopped her, saying they weren't worth it.
And then, she told her the entire story. Turns out, Donna wasn't aware of the final exchange between them.
And that was when Donna had started hating them.
And when Felicity told her about the conversation they had in Coast City, Donna did feel a twinge of sympathy for the guy but she had shrugged it off, anger taking over her. She was angry at him for assuming things so easily, angry at him for not realizing how much had he lost-
She was angry at the world for doing this to her daughter.
Still, despite everything that had happened-she still could see something in her daughter's eyes. Whenever she talked about him, the way she cared-she cared so much-it was evident. Despite everything that had happened between the two, she still loved him.
And maybe it would take a long time for her to get over him but she was sure that she will.
Because Oliver didn't deserve her.
And today, she saw that spark again.
"He really does, doesn't he?"
And not only with Felicity.
"I really wish they were."
She saw it in Oliver too.
…
"Two files," Felicity mumbled as she placed the files at one end of her table, leaning down to tick on her check list, "Test run," She ticked again, "Manage-"
"You still here?" She turned around only to see Oliver, "You're still here?" She echoed his statement, a frown on her face.
"Yeah, actually I was checking everything that was-" He stopped midway, shaking his head, "What are you doing here?" He looked at his wrist, "It's almost two." He uttered out and Felicity had finally turned around, bending down as she checked her list, "I know that." She mumbled while doing so.
"So..why are you working?" He asked again, this time walking towards her. Felicity's hand moved on the piece of paper as she murmured, "You know I like to get things-" She started.
"Done a day before the last day," Oliver completed the sentence and Felicity turned her head towards the right only to find him staring at her.
She blinked a little at the proximity, the silent 'yeah' dying down in her throat. Her eyes met his, his eyes moving down as hers flickered towards his lips.
He was near her.
He was really really near her.
She could smell his cologne and-how can he smell so could at two o'clock at night?-and she wasn't sure when was the last time she had been this close to Oliver.
Wait, what were they talking about again?
"Felici-"He almost whispered and that was when she finally snapped. She hastily took a step back, wanting to be away from him.
"I-"
This was what she had been so afraid so.
Giving in.
Allowing herself to get reeled back into the same life that had ruined her.
She wasn't supposed to talk to him. Wasn't even supposed to acknowledge him let alone be this close to her.
"I should-" She mumbled, "Focus on this." She reached for her checklist, raising it in the air, placing the paper between Oliver and her.
"Yeah," Oliver smiled a little, stepping back as well. Hs eyes flickered towards the floor for a split second, "You should."
"Of course I should." She started, "It's not like you and I have anything to talk about, right? I don't even like you right now-no, mister. You're not in my top list." She shook her head hastily, "Nope. No."
Oliver sighed a little, "Felicity can we just talk about this?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Once?"
Felicity bit her lip.
To be very frank, it had been quite a long time since they had properly talked to each other. Had even acknowledged each other's existence. Well, she didn't. He however did. It wasn't easy for Felicity too. When they talked-fought, it was better than the situation they were going through right now. Now, it was just she ignoring him. To be honest, it did feel good to be on the giving end for once and not on the receiving end. But still, she couldn't help the fact that she did worry about him. As a CEO-of course but she did.
But does that mean she forgave him?
Was she really ready to forget everything that had happened between the two of them?
You mean nothing to me.
Just the way you ruined my life.
Leftover.
Was she over it?
"No."
Oliver closed his eyes for a second. To be honest, he expected that. What had he really done to deserve it? Felicity had always been a strong woman and he was proud of the way, she had been standing up for herself. But he couldn't help but hope. Sure, things had changed but he….hoped.
"Like I said, things don't change overnight, Oliver." She looked at him, "You can't change overnight or this case, a couple of nights. So let's just forget about it." She declared, leaning down to pick up her files. "Because I don't think there is any way in which we can get over the past."
She turned around, choosing this moment to walk away. And as much as the reality of the situation hurt her, it was the right thing to do.
Oliver stared at her retreating figure, not knowing what to say.
Things don't change overnight, Oliver .
What if he hadn't really changed?
What if the thought of her leaving just hurt him too much?
What if something was still there?
What if she still…meant something to him?
Oliver wondered a little before shrugging them off. Because no matter how many of these thoughts invaded his mind-the reality didn't change.
They were too far gone, weren't they?
…
Oliver groaned a little as the rays of the sun hit him. Instinctively, he moved his hand, covering his face, his eyes squinting before he finally blinked them open. His hand moved towards his neck, massaging the back of it as he looked around, realizing he was in his cabin, asleep on his chair.
He frowned a little, wondering how he ended up here in the first place before he recalled last night's events. After his conversation with Felicity, he had walked to his cabin, thinking maybe some work could distract him from his tragic marital, well-what you used to be his marital life.
A knock at his door that got his attention and he looked up only to find his assistant, standing there with what he assumed was a coffee cup in her hand. He looked at his watch, realizing it was ten am. He moved his right hand, gesturing her to come in while the fingers of his left hand massaged his eyes.
"Good morning Sir," Evelyn smiled a little and Oliver nodded his head, his hand curling around the cup of coffee she had just placed on his table, "Is Ms. Smoak awake yet?"
"I'm not sure," Evelyn frowned, "But I think she is. Gerry went to-" She turned her head little, pointing towards his cabin door where Gerry and she sit, "fetch her coffee."
Oliver got up, his hand still around the cup rather than the holder itself. "I'll check on her." He told her before picking up the files that were kept on his table.
He blinked a little, trying to get rid of the fatigue before opening the door to her cabin. He expected Gerry to be there to be honest but to his surprise all that he found out was his ex-wife sleeping on her chair, her hand underneath chin. Oliver tried to holdback a smile, his mind reeling back to the times where she used to stay up late at nights to get her work done. In the morning, he used to wake up only to find her sleeping in this position or with her head lying on the table. Oliver preferred the latter position than the former. Mainly because-
Felicity's arm loosened a little, her hand losing its grip as her head moved a little, falling downwards before she regained her momentum and placed her hand back in its original place.
Yeah, that usually leads to a stiff neck.
He turned his head, hoping that Gerry would be making an appearance anytime soon but when he didn't, he entered the cabin, closing the door behind him ever so slightly. Walking towards the table, he looked at her again.
There was slight drool on the corner of her mouth, her makeup had worn off overnight and Oliver didn't complain. In fact, it made her look more beautiful if that was even possible. Her glasses were still intact, her hair in a ponytail and he had a feeling that she was mid-work when she dosed off.
What probably had started as a twenty minute nap-because, twenty minute naps rejuvenate you-Felicity's words not his, must had ended in a good proper sleep.
Oliver didn't complain.
She needed a good sleep.
A comfortable one.
But he also was aware of her habits.
Which means he was pretty sure that she was going to crib on waking up.
Because a) stiff neck, b) her hair was in a ponytail which he knew for a fact that she would definitely crib about c) her glasses were still intact.
Come to think of it, Oliver did complain about this.
Just then, the cabin door cracked open and Oliver whipped his head to look at Gerry. He frowned when he saw him but Oliver was grateful that he didn't say anything. He held a cup of coffee, cappuccino if he remembered her favourite correctly.
Honestly, he didn't know how Felicity had started drinking cappuccino. There was a time, both of them didn't like that drink. God knows, he still did not like it.
She liked cappuccino. It was one of the things Oliver didn't know about her but he did know for a fact that she would wake up being all cranky and he was the last person that she would want to see in the morning.
So he smiled at Gerry and walked out of the cabin.
Yeah, Felicity was better off without him.
…
Oliver was sipping his coffee when his eyes flickered towards hi cabin through. He saw Evelyn and Gerry standing at the other end. He moved his chair a little, trying to look at them clearly, "Gerry?"
The young man turned towards him, "Yes sir?"
"Is Ms. Smoak available to talk?" He asked and Gerry shook his head hastily before realizing what he was doing, "I don't think she is ready to talk or to meet anyone." He supplied, "She is-"
"Cranky." Oliver completed the sentence. He bit his lip for a second, his face turning the other way ever so slightly as he contemplated, "Gerry."
The man hummed in reply.
"Get her some lemon tea," He told him, "Two cups water, one table spoon of lemon juice and instead of sugar add two drops of honey," He ranted off the recipe, "Alright?"
He looked flustered for a second before nodding his head, "On it."
He saw Gerry leave, his eyes turning towards the wall that separated him from Felicity. It was weird. They knew each other, of course they did. Time had changed and so did they.
But somehow they did.
He remembered the first time he gave her that drink. She had been working tirelessly for a continuous week and Oliver remembered how cranky she had become by the end of the week. It was then that he offered her Raisa's special lemon tea and she loved it. Although she did curse him later on for not telling him about it. Though in his defence, he thought she already knew.
Nevertheless Felicity loved the tea.
And then, she appointed him-yes, appointed him to greet her with that lemon tea every now and then. Especially when she was in a sucky mood. It helped her when she was pregnant with Conner- helped him when she was pregnant with Conner. To keep it simple, a pregnant Felicity was a scary Felicity. Which made him kinda familiar with these situations.
Situations he was sure about when she needed that drink. Whenever she worked late at night or was up because of Conner-they were up because of Conner. It was this drink that calmed her down. That and doctor who marathons. The time her favourite heel broke and she had to walk all the way home barefoot. It was there for extreme situations. Situations that ticked her nerves and made her want to scratch her eyes-her words not his.
It was a miracle really.
A second later he saw Gerry on the other side of his cabin who nodded his head at him.
He sighed.
At least he could do something right.
…
February 2010
"This isn't right. This is too high. I can't do this."
"Yes, you can." Oliver reassured her, "I mean what's the worst that could happen?"
"We could fall and die." Felicity glared at him and Oliver smiled a little, "Exactly." And Felicity whacked his arm, "This isn't funny." Her eyes travelled down towards the cliff and her eyes widened. She could feel the bile rising in her throat, "I can-"
"We will do this." Oliver told her firmly, his hands moving around to grab her waist and Felicity moved closer to her, "I don't think I can." Her shoulder hit his and she leaned a little closer to him.
"Nope, we will though. I spent a lot of money on this."
"So apparently money is more important than me?" Her eyebrows rose in question and Oliver blinked, "Is that a trick question?"
Felicity whacked his chest, "You're such an asshole." She made a face, a frown covering her forehead, "We're really going to do this."
"Yup." Oliver grinned. Felicity jerked a little in surprise when she felt the instructor speak, "We're here." Her stunned eyes met the instructors who looked at her confused and finally Oliver spoke, "She is just little scared."
"Whoa, Mister that is an understatement. I was a little scared when I had to climb monkey bars when I was a kid or when I had to hack into the government because Cooper the psycho ex-boyfriend wanted to be do it," She blinked rapidly, "Right now I am death scared."
"It's just skydiving, Felicity."
"Exactly, sky and diving-two words that should not be spoken together."
"Mrs. Queen, this it will be alright. It will be fun. Just tell me when you're ready."
She almost gulped out, "I never will be ready."
"She will be though," Oliver hugged her tightly and Felicity wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his chest, "No, I won't." She shivered a little imaging the worst case scenario in her mind and Oliver rubbed her back, "It'll be fine. This is supposed to fun, remember? We were supposed to do this together."
"That was before I realized that we had to dive off from a 10, 000 feet mountain."
"Really?" Surprise was evident in his tone, "You do know the definition of skydive, right?"
"Of course I do, you idiot." She muttered, "But I thought I could do it since we were doing it together but-"
"We are doing it together, Felicity." Oliver told her and Felicity's voice became hoarse, "But this is so deep-"Oliver stopped her short, placing his hands on her shoulder, "Hey." His voice was soft and Felicity looked up, "Jokes apart," His hand found her cheek, "Tell me the reason why we signed up for this sport in the first place,"
"You forced me too."
Oliver laughed, "Felicity."
"I thought I can get over my fear of heights and it will be fun and I will have something cool to say about my honeymoon." She paused, "We get to do something together."
"Exactly." Oliver raised his hand, linking it with hers, "You wanted to get over your fear. You wanted us to do something together," He tightened his hold on her, "So why are you backing out now? We'll be doing this together. And it'll be fun," He reassured her.
"You won't let go of me, right?" She looked at him and he smiled a little, "Never."
Taking a deep breath, she managed to peek out of the helicopter, "Okay." Her voice became a little bit heavy and Oliver laughed, "It'll be alright. Come on!" He pulled her up.
Felicity closed her eyes tightly. She could feel Oliver's arms around her before a belt was put of the two of them. "You can open your eyes, Mrs. Queen," The instructor laughed a little and Felicity did just that before glaring at him.
He turned towards Oliver, "You know what to do, right?" He nodded his head, taking a just a second to fix the glasses he was wearing. "Jump, glide and pull." He repeated and Oliver nodded. Felicity almost shrieked the second she was standing in front of the door. Oliver chuckled a little before dropping a kiss on her head from behind, "Okay, now we have to jump."
Felicity stopped short, "Oliver."
"Huh?"
"Push me." She told him, knowing she won't be able to do it, "This is super scary and look at the height-"
Oliver pushed her.
Her shriek must have echoed across the entire city of Paris. The wind hit her face and she finally gathered the courage to open her eyes. It was a good thing she was wearing goggles.
And she might have admitted this later on.
She had felt free during the dive. She had felt happy. The air hitting her face, the falling from the sky, Oliver's arms around her.
It felt surreal.
And she certainly loved it.
…
"Felicity?"
On hearing no response, Oliver frowned. He pushed the door and entered her cabin, his eyes looking around, trying to find her. He made a beeline towards her table, the files that he was supposed to hand over clenched in his hand. Well, this was the second time this was happening, so Oliver figured it was better to just keep the files on the table and when she will come, she would automatically see it and approach him about it.
He placed the files on the table. His grin a lopsidedly when he saw the cup of tea lying on her table instead of cappuccino. He turned around, ready to leave the cabin when his eyes flickered towards the bathroom door that was slightly open allowing him to have a peek inside.
She was standing right in front of the mirror. Oliver paused mid-step, her attention shifted towards his ex-wife. He watched as she wiggled her hair in front of the mirror. He knew it was because of the fact that she had slept with her hair being tied and it could be really tight. He watched as she leaned down and splashed some water on her face before looking back into the mirror and fixing her hair again. The strands close to her face were wet and he watched as she tried to blow one of them off her face rather unsuccessfully. She blinked her eyes repeatedly in front of the mirror before she stretched her mouth, trying to check if her teeth looked alright. Her rosy cheeks pushed up, her eyes squinting as she looked at herself in the mirror. Rubbing a finger on of her teeth, he saw her scrunching her nose a little.
Oliver was fascinated.
She looked adorable.
He remembered all of this. Back when they were together and he came back from a long tiring day, he would lay on his bed waiting for her to join him while laughing at her antics. She used to glare at him playfully while he mocked her about her habits, her face pack, her dyed hair but secretly he loved it. He loved the fact that she didn't hide from him. Loved the fact that this is what he had to look forward to at the end of the day.
Because it used to feel like home.
It was his home.
Felicity blinked a little before turning around and exiting the bathroom. "Whoa," She mumbled, her eyes widening at the sight of Oliver. "This is an invasion of privacy." She declared while making her way towards her desk.
"I-I was-" Oliver stuttered for the right word. Felicity's eyebrows rose in question and Oliver shook his head a little before looking at the files in his hand, "I came to give this." He spoke, "I debriefed the entire test run and it's good to go."
"Well it should be, I would be really pissed off if it didn't." Felicity muttered, placing the files on the table at one end. Oliver saw her looking at her glasses which were lying on the table before she cringed a little and put them away. Rubbing the area above her right ear, she closed her eyes for a second, "I-"She paused for a minute as if trying to think straight. Oliver bit his lip, contemplating whether he should say something or not. "You should probably sit down and-"But Felicity cut him off. "Yeah, I can think for myself. I don't need you-"She pointed her finger in his direction, "telling me anything. You are not even supposed to talk to me-I am not supposed to talk to you," She huffed, "Don't get wrong ideas in your head if I talk to you. Because after last night Mister, I have decided." She looked at him, "I won't be talking to you and that whole close to close thing won't be happening." She glared, "Ever."
Well, come to think of it Oliver should have felt offended. Well if not offended than definitely hurt. Not that he didn't deserve it though but instead his lips quivered a little as he fought back a smile. "I get it."
"Good." She narrowed her eyes and Oliver simply raised his hands in the air in surrender. "I'm taking this," He gestured towards the file and Felicity nodded her head. "Yeah, Richard made that file. It has everything with the project on there." Oliver gave a slight nod and that before turning around.
Felicity sighed to herself as she saw him walk away. Last night, she might have gotten her work done but she had been distracted. She had thought about last night's events and it made her reach a conclusion that maybe this work related thing had made her ease up on Oliver.
Which shouldn't be the case to be very honest.
Plus, she had slept horrendously.
The back of her neck hurt, so did the area above her ears-she really hated her glasses at this point. To top it all, she knew her hair was full of sweat and it irked her so much.
"Today you're on a day off, right?" Oliver turned around the very last minute and Felicity nodded her head, "Yep." She mumbled, "A day off is all I need." She muttered to herself.
Oliver raised an eyebrow in question when he heard her mutter something.
He watched as she reached for the cup of tea that was lying on the table. Taking a sip, he saw her frown, her eyes looking down at the liquid in the cup before she looked at him. For a second, neither of the two said anything and Oliver almost felt like she wanted to say something. But the next second, Felicity turned her gaze away.
Oliver didn't say a word either. He just simply turned around and left her cabin.
Had he been there, he would have noticed Felicity's shoulder sagging down and her taking a sigh of relief. He also would have noticed the small smile that was beginning to form on her face.
And he certainly would have noticed her staring at him.
Because she definitely knew it was him.
…
Oliver looked at his psychiatrist-Lisa, they had finally come to first name basis.
It didn't make him feel anything less than a patient though.
"So," She started and Oliver almost bit back a groan, he didn't want to talk. His grip tightened on the pen he was holding, his hand stopping midway. He won't deny it, he liked writing. He liked writing about his past and present. For once, it felt like they was someone-this paper was something that would not judge him. That writing it would not make any difference. He can be cruel, he can crib and no one would question. He didn't have any responsibilities.
He could afford to grieve.
"How are things at the company?" She asked and Oliver shrugged, "They're alright."
"Do you think this project thing," She started, her hands moving, "Is bridging the gap between the two of you?"
Was it?
Was it really bridging the gap between them? Surely, things had become a bit more verbal in the last few days, but it still wasn't good enough and in all honesty, Oliver didn't blame her. What had he actually done to earn that forgiveness?
But had things changed?
To be very honest, things between them were changing on a daily basis. It was like, at one point they were close-really close-he recalled last night's events while the next minute they are miles away from the other.
"I don't know." He murmured and Lisa let out an exasperated sigh, "Oliver, we have to talk about this, you know? I need a little more than I don't know."
Oliver looked up, "I don't know." He repeated, his eyes turning towards the right ever so slightly as he contemplated, "I don't know what is happening between the two of us and I-" He paused, a frown appearing on his forehead, "I don't want to dwell on it." He sighed, "Yeah. I don't want to." He uttered out last minute.
"Because dwelling on it makes it real." The doctor finished, "You know," She started as she got up, "What your basic problem is Oliver?"
Oliver's eyebrow rose, "You run away from your problems." She paused, stopping behind the couch she had been sitting on moments ago, her arms landing on it for support, "From your feelings for Felicity because you think you're not good enough. You run from your family because you think you should be strong, you're running from your son's death because you're afraid to let him."
"No, I don't."
"Really?"
"I am engaged to Laurel." Being his psychiatrist, she had to be told everything.
Which included being told about an engagement which was still under wraps from the public.
"That is not the answer I'm looking for." She countered.
Oliver shrugged.
"Let's talk about your son?"
"I don't thi-"
"His death anniversary is in a week, Oliver."
Oliver closed his eyes before he opened them. Lisa passed him a wry smile knowing it must be painful for him, "I know." He murmured, his voice becoming soft.
Three years.
It's been almost three years.
Of course he remembered.
"Do you miss him?" The question wasn't supposed to be psychological. The doctor just wanted him to share his him. This was the maximum amount of emotion she had been able to garner out of him and she didn't want to ask him to talk about him.
In this moment, she just wanted him to feel.
Feel something.
"Everyday."
And he did.
In that moment, Oliver Queen felt grief. He felt remorse. The fingers of hand twitched. He never really understood where he had adopted this habit from. It was just an involuntary move. His fingers twitched, his thumb rubbing the inside of his index finger.
It was as if he was trying to hold on to something.
Hold on to something that was non-existing.
In that moment, Oliver Queen felt loss.
And she knew as much as he tried to deny it, Oliver went through that feeling every day.
He went through that feeling in the form of Felicity Smoak.
…
March 2010
Okay, Felicity Smo-Queen (she really had to get used to that) was confused.
She was really really confused.
Meanwhile, all she could see was Oliver grinning like a kid as he drove her somewhere.
She never really liked surprises.
Because they were always a mystery until revealed. A mystery that needed solving and it bugged her.
So she tried her luck again, "Oliver, where are we going?"
"Do you seriously expect me to just tell you about it?" Oliver looked at her for a second as Felicity shrugged her shoulder and bit her bottom lip, "Yeah?" Her eyes were wide and Oliver knew, the biting of the lip was a deliberate action, "No." He shook his head and Felicity groaned before letting go of his hand that she had been holding during the drive, "Fine then." She crossed her arms before turning her head towards the window.
"It's a surprise, Felicity." He enunciated the word 'surprise' as if he was talking to a toddler.
"I know that," She raised her arms, "But surprises bug me. I don't like surprises." She huffed, "It just makes me wonder about them and I can't stop thinking about them." She pointed towards her brain while saying the last sentence, "They bug me."
"Well, you might start liking them after you see this one," Oliver looked at her and Felicity groaned, "You're not helping my case, Oliver!" She stated, "Really not helping it." She sighed as she heard her husband's laugh, "You're mean."
"Thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"I'll take it as one."
"You're really mean."
"You really wanna go through that again?"
Felicity narrowed her eyes at him.
…
Now this was the last thing Felicity had expected. In hindsight, she should have put two and two together. The saving money campaign that he was on for the past few months, the late nights at Verdant –
But in a way, she was glad she didn't.
The first thing that caught her attention was the names written on the front the door. The words Oliver Queen was written in white in contrast with the black door. It wasn't that word that made her heart swell in her chest.
It was the word written write beneath it.
Felicity Queen.
She looked at Oliver in surprise who smiled a little.
Opening the door, she peeked in. The walls painted and the floors were furnished. A couch as placed in the living room itself, the one brick wall blending well with the other three cream walls. There was an LCD placed right in front of the couch, two shelves placed right beside it.
It was pretty awesome.
And it was exactly what Felicity had dreamed off.
"Remember what you once told me?" Oliver started and Felicity frowned, "That you always wanted a house."
Of course she did.
"A house that had three rooms in it. One room for us and the rest for the kids that'll we have. You wanted an LCD set in the living room so that you could watch Harry Potter and Doctor who with them," Felicity felt tears pool in her eyes, "You wanted a bookshelf to keep all your books in there. A bal-"
"Balcony to check on the kids when they go out to play." She completed his sentence, "A room with the fluffiest of comforter and sliding doors because sliding doors are awesome," She smiled through her tears, "A home we can come to when we want to be away from everyone. A home that just belonged to the two of us."
"Remember what you called it?" Oliver spoke, his hands surrounding her waist from behind, "Our haven." She whispered and Oliver kissed her cheek, "This is our apartment, Felicity. Our home. Our haven."
She liked the Queen Mansion, of course she did. It was their home but she liked this too. This was Oliver and Felicity. Not the influential Queens, not Oliver Queen the son or Felicity Queen the daughter-in-law, this was just Oliver and Felicity.
Husband and wife.
And she loved the sound of it.
She turned around almost instantly, looking at him. Tears dripped down her cheeks causing Oliver to frown. "What's wrong?" He muttered, "I swear just wanted to do this to make you happy." He wiped her tears with his thumb, "I never wanted to make you cry. I'm sorry-"
Felicity looked at her surroundings once again.
Our home.
Our haven.
She cut Oliver's rant short by throwing herself at him. Her head landed on his shoulder as she whispered, "I love it. I love it so much." Oliver breathed a sigh of relief at that before he hugged her tightly, "I'm glad."
"I love you so much," She spoke. What had she done to deserve this man? "So so much." She tightened her arms around his neck and Oliver could feel his shoulder getting wet.
"Now, you want to see the rest of the house or you just want to cry?" Felicity's grip loosened a little but she didn't let go, "Because my shirt is getting wet and this is not cheap."
Felicity pulled away, her chuckles echoing across the room and Oliver smiled. "I love you too." He told her and Felicity nodded before kissing him.
Both of them smiled during the kiss and it took Oliver literally seconds to wrap both of his hands around her. Meanwhile, Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips forming a grin that only Oliver could bring on her face.
This was it.
This was their haven.
This was their home.
And they loved every bit of it.
…
Blue eyes wondered around as Felicity tried to locate a familiar face. As if coming to the Queen Mansion wasn't enough, she was now standing in one corner, clenching a glass of red wine in her hand all alone.
She was really bored.
The only people that had approached her so far were a couple of business people-because let's face it businessmen sounds a bit sexist-who wanted to congratulate her.
She just wanted to talk to someone familiar.
She might even say that she missed Oliver a little.
Only a little though.
Her eyes flickered towards the hallway almost expecting someone familiar to pop out. As if on cue, she saw Oliver coming out of the said hallway, his hands fixing the coat he was wearing and Felicity's eyes involuntarily moved up and down as she unabashedly checked him out.
He was wearing suspenders.
He was wearing his sexy suspenders.
Blue met blue and Oliver's eyebrows rose ever so slightly and Felicity knew she was being delusional for she saw his eyes move up and down as if he was checking her out. She saw him smile in her direction and Felicity could feel the corner of her mouth curl up except it didn't.
For she saw Laurel appearing right beside him and she might not even admit this, but did she feel something drop in the pit of her stomach.
There was reason why she called her gorgeous Laurel because she indeed was gorgeous.
She was standing right beside him in black gown, her hair tumbling down in waves and she looked beautiful.
Felicity suddenly felt a little conscious in her blue gown. She just mentally hoped that she was looking presentable and the bun she had worked hours on didn't open up.
But she was no Laurel, was she?
Because Laurel and Oliver looked really great together. He was a handsome successful man and she was a badass lawyer.
A match made in heaven.
They looked like they were meant for each other.
Felicity suddenly felt a pang in her chest as she looked at the duo. How long did it take Oliver to move on from her? Well, she shouldn't really be surprised too considering how he cheated on her but Laurel was his ex-girlfriend. Surely, the ties that they had were deep rooted and it made her wonder how long did it take for him to establish that bond and it made her question herself. She never had the guts to start dating. Sure, she had went on a few dates but never had she properly dated someone since the divorce. And from what she knew, Oliver and Laurel had been dating for the past one year.
One year.
Sometimes, these things made her wonder whether he really cared or not.
Or whether she just cared too much.
Looking at the two, one realization did dawn on her.
That Oliver and she weren't meant to be.
Guess, somethings were just never meant to happen.
"Felicity," She snapped out of her reverie when she heard Moira's voice. Mentally groaning, she did manage to pass a small smile in her direction, "Moira."
She was a diabolical woman.
Sometimes, she reminded Felicity of the Evil Queen in Snow White.
It really was marvellous how three years can change someone's perception about someone they were once close to.
"Do you like the arrangement?" She asked, her voice soft and Felicity nodded, "It's pretty awesome."
"I-" Felicity deliberately turned her face away from her because she knew where this conversation was going to lead, "I just wanted to apologize for all that I've ever done to you."
"I wish an apology could fix things Moira but they can't so-" The older lady nodded her head knowingly, "I know. I'm just sorry for everything. I just wanted to protect my son, Felicity."
"From what? His wife?"
"I had my misconceptions and I'm sorry for that. But all I ever wanted was to protect my son. You would know how that feels, right?"
Felicity could swear she had stopped breathing for that one moment, "No," She said after a moment, "I don't."
Moira blanched, "I didn't mean-"
"I don't know how that feels, Moira. I don't know what it is like having a son and protecting him. I had mine and I didn't protect him, instead I-" She took a deep breath, "Can you excuse me for a minute?" She didn't want to have this conversation with anyone.
She knew she didn't have her son.
She certainly didn't need to be reminded about that.
"Sure." Moira smiled sadly, "I really am sorry for everything, Felicity."
"Yeah?" Felicity asked, "So am I."
She walked past her.
Like she said, somethings were just never meant to happen.
…
Oliver's fingers twitched, a clear sign that he was nervous as he managed to catch a glimpse of Felicity who was standing in Conner's nursery.
So far, so good.
He was well aware of the fact that Felicity would come to visit the nursery. Of course she would. Sure, she didn't like talking about it anyone else but privately, she did grieve and Oliver knew all of this because he was the same.
And so he came up with this plan.
To be honest, it was pretty ridiculous but this was the best he could come up with.
Felicity had this habit. She would think about Conner, she would visit his grave, she would visit his nursery for a little while. During that time, she would think of him but when the grief would begin to overwhelm her, she would leave.
Oliver knew that ever since she had visited his grave, she had garnered courage and she was willing to move on. But now, ever since the whole Coast City event-he also was aware that she had given up on moving on from Conner.
Twice.
He had let her fall twice. The first time, when she had gotten over everything and he had cheated on and crushed her completely and the second time, when they talked. He had brought back all those memories and insecurities and now, she was back on square one.
Come to think of it, Felicity had never really moved on. Had she did, these setbacks won't have brought her down. Ignoring the situation for a long while isn't the solution and that is what Oliver wanted. He wanted her to face it and be at peace with it.
He wanted her to realize that wherever he was, he was happy and she deserves happiness too.
And maybe it had taken him this long to realize his faults but now that he had, he won't stop until he fixed them.
And which is why he came up with this plan.
Today, Felicity would have to face some of her grief. She would have to. He had this all planned out. He looked at the waiter who nodded in his direction. All he had to do was lock the door.
She would have to face some of her problems today.
And yes, Oliver was concerned as to how she would react so he will be outside the house, keeping an eye on her through the window.
It was simple.
Maybe this way, she could actually think about it, talk about it or something. Just feel something about him.
Oliver turned around, ready to walk away when he heard her, "Frack!"
In an instant, he had pushed the door open, his eyes landing on Felicity who was clutching her hand tightly. Her eyes were glossy and red, her cheeks marred with tear tracks and he was sure that she had been crying over Conner. The broken photo frame of Conner's picture lay on the side table, pieces of glass surrounding it and he was pretty sure that Felicity had cut her hand while picking them up.
"Are you insane?" He muttered to her and Felicity glared at him before trying to pull her hand away from him, "I'm fine." She told him or well, tried to but Oliver apparently didn't hear anything for his focus was on the huge on her index finger, "I'm fine, Oliver." She tried again but he didn't look at her. Instead, he took his handkerchief out and wiped the blood that was falling off her finger.
It was a deep cut.
"Who the hell told you to clean it up?" His eyes met hers, "I wanted to clean it up, what's the big deal?"
"Big deal? Look at what you've done?!" He gestured towards his hand and Felicity rolled her eyes, "It's just a cut, Oliver." He ignored her, wiping the blood that was on her finger when Felicity hissed, "Sorry." He mumbled and his ex-wife's voice suddenly became soft, "It's okay, Oliver."
Oliver lifted his head up and blue met blue. Felicity's voice was a mere whisper this time, "It's okay." And Felicity realize how close they were. She didn't know why she was talking so softly with him when he deserve it but she was and it did manage to calm him down. Her eyes shifted towards their joined hands, his left hand holding her right one. His grip wasn't strong instead
The former hastily shook his head, "This could lead to an infection." He declared, "Let me get the first aid-" He turned his attention towards the door only to find it close, "Oh no."
"What?" Felicity was bewildered.
"Oh no," Oliver muttered again, making a beeline towards the door. He tried to open it, twisting the knob again and again but nothing happen.
"Why isn't it opening?" Felicity asked, her eyes wide and Oliver was suddenly aware of the fact that she was standing right beside him, "Why isn't it opening?"
"I don't know!" Oliver groaned before he slammed his shoulder against the door, "This is not happening!"
"Oliver!" Felicity shouted in her loud voice and Oliver turned his attention towards her, "What is going on?"
"We're locked, Felicity." He told her, "We're fucking locked in here."
"Let me try." Felicity stood in front of the door before she began to twist the knob with her left hand. She let out a huff when it didn't open. Choosing to use her both hands this time, she placed them on the knob only to pull away when the index finger of her right hand throbbed with pain. "Careful," Oliver told her and she stared at him before resuming her efforts to open the door.
Using both of her hands, she twisted and turned the knob, ignoring the pain in her finger. "Stop it!" Oliver placed his hand on her wrist and Felicity glared at him, "I can't be stuck in here. Especially with you."
"I get it but doing what you're doing is not helping now, is it?"
Felicity shrugged him off, "Let me try!" She said, her voice loud before she started using her right hand to open the door. She twisted and turned the knob up until it broke.
The knob it came out.
"Now that is very helpful." Oliver said sarcastically and in anger, Felicity threw the knob on the floor, "Most influential family in Starling, can't even afford proper knobs!" She shrieked at the top of her voice. "I can't be stuck with you here! Here out of all places! And you!" She pointed towards him, "Out of all people!"
She expected Oliver to say something but when he didn't, she frowned. Instead he smiled a little, "You done?"
Felicity blinked.
Oliver reached forward to grasp her right hand, "Now can we fix this?" Felicity frowned but didn't say anything. She watched as Oliver cleaned what now was dry blood before wrapping the said handkerchief around her finger, "Better now?"
Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. Ignoring the fact that her hand was in his, she asked him, "You're awfully calm about it. You knew about this, didn't you?"
Oliver blinked, "Of course not."
Lying to her has always been futile to Felicity so he didn't even know why he tried.
"You knew about this!"
"I didn't know this was going to happen, trust me!" Oliver explained himself and Felicity scoffed, "Right, trust you." She rolled her eyes, "Says the man who didn't trust me once."
Oliver closed his eyes for a second before opening them, "We're stuck here, Felicity."
"Do you have your phone with you?" She asked and Oliver was glad that he had left his phone in his room because lying to Felicity could be really troublesome, "No."
Felicity almost growled, "Fuck."
Yeah, things were looking real good right now.
…
"Why are you not doing anything?!" Felicity looked at Oliver who was sitting on the settee that was in the room, "Felicity we are the CEOs," He started, "We're supposed to inaugurate the project. They'll come looking for us."
Felicity banged the door one last time in frustration before groaning, "I don't want to be here!"
"Why not?" Oliver asked her. To be honest, he didn't want to be here either.
This room was filled with memories. Just memories. A painful realization that these things won't be happening again. His eyes flickered towards the picture of Conner that Felicity had been holding before he entered the room. His son was smiling, showing his gum. He was lying on the floor and as far as Oliver remembered, this picture was snapped when he had just begun crawling.
He looked at the floor for a second, trying to gather some strength. The psychiatrist had been right. The only time he was actually willing to talk about Conner was with Felicity. Usually, this place was his haven. Every month he came here once-he wasn't sure if his family members knew about this.
And now here he was with Felicity.
To be honest, yes he was feeling a bit overwhelmed in here. But only a bit. On the other side, he was willing to talk about it. He was willing to come forward.
Because she needed it.
"Why not? It's you." She said his name in anger and Oliver closed his eyes, "It's this room. I don't want to be here, Oliver." She declared, "This is like the worst case scenario." She picked up her gown before making her way around what used to be Conner's crib, "Don't sit on the floor," Oliver told her and Felicity stopped, "Why not? I'm not sitting on that seat with you." She could have sat on the other end but pieces of glass were spread there.
"Felicity," Oliver started. "The reason why you don't want to be here is because it's Conner's room. The reason why you don't want to be here is because of me."
Felicity stopped in between her movement, pivoting her head towards Oliver, "If you know it than why are you asking about it?"
"Because I want to know one other thing. "
"Oliver, don't take this as any other opportunity to talk about our relationship. There is nothing to fix-"
"This is not about us. This is about Conner." It was the seriousness in his tone that got to Felicity. She frowned, although her heart did start to beat a little bit faster in her chest.
What about Conner?
"This is about the fact that despite everything you still let me hold the power to govern your life," He stood up and Felicity blinked. She watched him coming towards her and instinctively she took a step back, "Why is it that when I blamed you, you started blaming yourself. When we talked about the entire thing, you came back to square one. You hate me, don't you?"
Felicity's eyes burned with tears, "Yes." He was standing right in front of her.
And Oliver might not admit this, but it felt far worse than he thought it would, "Then why do you let me govern your life?"
"I-I-" Felicity took a deep breath, "I loved you then, Oliver. Whatever I did was to-was to fix us. I wanted to move on in my life with you. And then-" She sniffed, "Oliver, you-you were hurt because you thought I cheated on you with Ray," Oliver nodded his head. His gaze had softened as he stared at her, his hand fisting as he tried to control the urge to comfort her, "Now imagine that happening right in front of your eyes after I tell you that I hate you and you-you killed him."
Oliver felt his heart break in two.
All this while, he had been focused on this Conner thing. He knew he didn't deserve forgiveness but what about her? She had been suffering before and she was still suffering now.
He didn't deserve her.
He really didn't.
"These events…they leave a mark and I'm sorry that I let myself fall but-but I couldn't help it. I hated you but I believed your words."
"You didn't kill him, Felicity." Despite breaking down on the inside, Oliver was pretty damn firm about this.
It was about time, she stopped blaming herself for that.
"Yeah, out of people this is coming from you." She scoffed, turning her face away. "Hey," Oliver placed his finger underneath her chin and lifted it up, "You didn't do it." Felicity didn't say a word as she stared at him. He looked hesitant for a second but when she didn't push him away, he used his thumb to wipe the tear tracks on her cheeks, "You didn't kill him." He started whispering, "I was drunk and stupid. Conner died and it was because somethings are just meant to happen." He bit his lip, "So maybe it's time to just let it go. To stare at this room and not cry. To think of our son and remember him but not let it weaken us," A tear fell down his cheek, "It's time to let it go."
"It's funny you're saying that," She involuntarily leaned her head towards Oliver's hand, "When you yourself aren't able to let him go."
"I know," He whispered and Felicity was surprised that he readily admitted it, "But someday we have to get past it. Have to live our life and if you don't consider be good enough to be a part of it then don't let me govern it either. Don't falter." He told her.
"He'll always be around, Felicity. We can't ignore him. All we can do is make ourselves strong."
How?
How were they supposed to do that? A small part of Felicity supplied that the only way they could do this is if they do it together. But that wasn't possible.
Because there was no together for them.
All she had to do was make herself strong.
"Do you really think-"
A sharp knock on the door grabbed their attention. Felicity's eyes widened as she heard Tommy's yell from the other side, "Is someone in there?"
And Oliver instantly pulled away. "Yeah, I am stuck here with-"Felicity instantly placed a hand over his mouth, "Don't tell them I'm here too." She whispered, "The last thing we need is the reporters spreading rumours again." It took a second for him to actually realize what was happening. Felicity was really close to him. Her hand was on her mouth, her face right in front of hers. She smelled of strawberries. Because, of course she did. It would literally take him a second to wrap his arms around her and hug her.
He wanted to hug her.
But he didn't.
"I'm opening the door, Oliver." Tommy announced from the other end and he could hear people shuffling at the other end. Felicity looked around, searching for a place to hide. She immediately hid beside the closet that was filled with Conner's toys. She was squeezed between the wall and the closet but she was still very much in view. She groaned, "Now-"
The door opened the next second and Oliver immediately came to stand in front of Felicity who breathed a sigh of relief. His right hand was behind his back facing Felicity, his fingers moving-he was nervous.
Of course he was.
And before Felicity could help herself, she reached forward to grab his hand with her left one effectively stopping his movement.
"There you are, we have been looking for you since forever!" Tommy started and she heard Oliver reply back, "Yeah, the door, it was stuck."
"Well, come on then!" She heard Tommy say, "Felicity has vanished too. We have to look for her as well and is that…glass?" Oliver nodded his head and she felt his fingers squeeze her hand once before he let them go." Walking out of the door, he made sure the close the door of the room lightly.
She sighed the minute she was left alone, crouching down as she hugged her legs.
He'll always be around, Felicity. We can't ignore him. All we can do is make ourselves strong.
If you don't consider be good enough to be a part of it then don't let me govern it either.
Did she care for him?
Did she think he was good enough?
Did she hate him?
Felicity had started to question things that she had believing for so long.
Why did she let him govern her life when she hated him?
Her fingers moved- a parody of Oliver's habit, why is it that she wanted to hold his hand again?
That despite everything she still wanted him to be there?
Felicity groaned as she let her head fall against the fall. A set of twin tears rolled down her cheeks.
She didn't know what to do with her life.
She really didn't.
…
Felicity walked down the stairs that led her to the main hall. She wanted to be as quiet as possible knowing that people must have been searching for her but it was Thea who noticed her first, "There she is!" She breathed a sigh of relief.
All the heads whipped in her direction and Felicity suddenly felt a little conscious in her blue gown. Still managing to keep her head held high, she completed the rest of her trail towards the corner of the hall where Oliver and the others were gathered.
She saw Oliver smile a little and it caused her to think about the exchange they had moments ago. Her eyes drifted towards her hands and she was glad she had taken off the handkerchief that she had been wearing moments ago. It was too big.
She bit her lip as she stared at the people gathered around, her mind elsewhere. It was when her name was called that she was snapped out of her reverie, "Felicity?" She looked at Walter who was smiling at her, "Would you like to do the honours?" It was then she realized that there was a board behind him that had the name of the project written on it. A red ribbon covered it. A second later, Felicity was handed the scissors and she looked at Oliver who wasn't looking at her.
Wait, wasn't he cutting the ribbon too?
Walking towards the board, she placed the scissor on the ribbon when she felt Oliver's hand covering hers. She looked towards her right, right at him and he gave her a small smile before giving her hand a gentle squeeze, careful not to hurt it. "Together?" He asked her in a soft voice.
But someday we have to get past it.
He'll always be around, Felicity. We can't ignore him. All we can do is make ourselves strong.
Because there was no together for them.
And her voice might have been small.
And she might have hesitated.
But it didn't stop Oliver from smiling when she replied back, "Together."
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Now, stray thought time-
Can we just say Oliver and Felicity are perfect together? Man the head kiss scene-I have seen that scene more than a hundred times I suppose.
Sigh.
I don't have a life, right?
Who do you think the grave belonged to?
Personally I think Lance or Baby Mama…but I have a strong feeling it's Lance but I love Paul Blackthorne so
And it's not our OTA *crosses finger*
I'll friggin murder the Arrow writers.
…
Thanks for reading x
Do Review and if you have other thoughts to convey to me, you're always welcome. Next chapter I'll be addressing everybody and replying to stuff x
Thank you so much for everything
Srishti x