Chapter 21: Are We in Trouble?

Abigail couldn't hold in her curiosity. She had seen William leave with the section chief and was waiting in anticipation for over and hour before he returned to his desk. He didn't look any better; she couldn't tell if he was upset or pleased, William only sported a deadpan kind of look as he took his place back in his cubicle. They had not yet broken the uncomfortable silence but if he was being reprimanded for anything that they may have done on their leave of absence then she needed to know. When William was settled into his cubicle and several aching minutes ticked by at a snails pace, she just could not handle it anymore and rushed to his side.

"Are we in trouble?" she whispered into his ear, startling him.

"No, we're fine," William said, "the chief doesn't know anything about the men on the highway or if he does, he wasn't saying anything to me about it."

"Then why were you called in there?" she asked.

"It's about a case that we are actually assigned to," he snapped.

"Alright," she stated taken aback by his shortness. "Which case?"

"The Oklahoma City Copy Killer," William lied.

"We wrapped up that case months ago," Abigail said leaning on the edge of his desk. "It was a really big one for us, but nothing overly important."

"Yeah, he wants me to give a lecture on it for the new students at Quantico," William lied again. "As it was one of my biggest cases and the brake came because of my profile, so he wants me to talk about my reasoning and profiling skills when looking at copy cat killers."

"Good for you," Abigail said and put a hand on his shoulder, "you deserve it." she added trying to be supportive. "You did a really great job on that case, who better to talk about it to the youngins than you?"

"We'll see," William sighed. "I doubt I am going to be a very good teacher."

"You were doing fine when I was still in the academy," she stated.

"I was just a teaching assistant then, not an actual lecturer," he stated surprised that she actually remembered those days.

"Either way, I'm sure you'll do a great job. You have the experience to back you up now."

Abigail smiled at him. She genuinely felt happy for the honor that the chief had bestowed on him. She had always looked up to William, she knew that much, but she wasn't sure why it had taken so long for her to really see him. Even now she wasn't sure she was seeing clearly. Something deep insider her told her, that it was a big deal and if she wanted to make things up to him, it wouldn't be through a night of meaningless sex. She had to take some kind of a stand, an interest in his achievements, she knew this, and she would have to try to put the distractions out of her mind. She wanted things to work out, but the idea of the apocalypse still plagued her.

As Abigail turned and returned to her cubical, William sighed hesitantly. He had just lied flat out to his partner of five years, someone whom he had trusted explicitly for most of that time. It wasn't like he didn't have secrets, oh no, he had been keeping things from her for years, things that he really never wanted her to know, but at the same time he wasn't sure that he had ever told a bold face lie like that and he had a strange haunting feeling that it would come back to bite him in the ass. He knew that he had to tell her the truth; he had resolved to do so as soon as he had stepped out onto the floor again, so why had he made up such a careless lie, one that she seemed to believe and even tried to be supportive of.

William sighed audibly to himself as he replayed the events of the day and the previous night. His life seemed to have gone to hell and back all at once and now he was standing at a crossroads, unable to tell the woman he loved that he was leaving. He was confused by her behaviour. They had not spoken to each other, had not breached the conversation that really should have happened but she seemed pleased when he lied to her, like she was trying to be supportive, trying to make up for something. Did she subconsciously know that he was lying and leaving her?

You have to talk to her about this, he thought to himself as he stared at the immaculately organized surface of his desk. He was meticulous, he was organized and he hated that his life had been, for so long in sheer chaos. Not here, don't tell her here and upset her, it's not a matter of office gossip, it's your life and your love. You'll have to tell her tonight, tell her everything and make sure it is the truth, or you may risk loosing her forever, although you've already risked that by taking another job. She doesn't care about you enough to follow you, it's not in her personality, but you owe her this much, you owe her the truth about your leaving and that's it. Do I tell her about myself, my life, the freak that I really am? No, just tell her you lied to her; tell her you are sorry, but that you can't do this anymore. Tell her last night was a mistake, that you should have never shared in that passion, that you should have never let yourself loose control. Just tell her that you are sorry, that you are sorry that anything happened between you, and that you felt the need to lie to her about your promotion. She'll hate you for sure, but you have to do it, William told himself as he stared blankly at the computer scene.

Tomorrow there would be no sitting at this desk or looking at the computer, he would be a doctor by morning and onto a totally different path in his life. Maybe this time he would be able to find answers, happiness, or at least acceptance. Maybe he would be able to be happy again.