NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER.

I'm back in the States, for good! It's been a crazy couple of weeks, in which I got to do many awesome things, including swimming with sea lions in the Galapagos. Now I'm home again, and I couldn't be happier. Updates will be a little less frequent after this book, but never fear, it will all be wrapped up in the end. I even have the final epilogue written, as a way of telling myself that I have to finish this series.

Thank you everyone who reviewed and wished me well. You're awesome! I'm lucky to have such amazing readers :-D

And remember: This is not the last chapter! There is an epilogue to come.

Love, Maat

Chapter 20: In Which Shit Gets Real

Castiel stood very still within the ring of fire and watched his captor with narrowed eyes. "Sam, what do you think you are doing?"

Sam sat down in a hard-backed chair and folded his hands in front of him. "I'm sorry, man, I really am."

"Let me out, Sam," Castiel said in an even tone. Sam shook his head.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

Sam looked away, threading his fingers together restlessly, his long legs splayed colt-like in front of him. "This…this is going to happen, Cas, and I'm sorry but you've been…blinded by emotion. We have to save the world and we can't do that if you're…interfering."

"What is she going to do?" he rasped nervously, fear rising up and clogging his throat. "Sam, I demand that you let me out right now."

Sam shook his head. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry."

"You keep saying that," Castiel ground out. "Though I doubt you mean it."

"You think I wanted things to end like this?" Sam burst out, finally looking at him. "This is the worst option in the world! But we've reached the end. There is no other choice."

"What is she going to do?"

"Something stupid," Sam said in a quiet, sad voice. "But it's the only option we have left."

"You're sure about this?" Aziraphale asked, standing and walking to Eli. He reached out and she curled into his chest, sobbing quietly onto his pristine shirt. He smelled like old books and sunshine and the faint whiff of Crowley's cologne. "Oh, dear, oh, darling, it's all right. It will be all right." He stroked her hair and waited for her to calm. "Everything will be all right. You're doing the right thing, you know. You're going to save them all."

She took a deep, shaking breath and pulled away, her eyes puffy and red, but determined. "I…know," she said, her voice cracking. "I know. I was ….never supposed to be a part of this story. And my being here has thrown everything off course. I need to fix it."

"Finally, she sees," Crowley said in a long-suffering voice. Aziraphale shot him a look and he held up his hands. "What? Took her long enough."

Aziraphale huffed and turned back to her. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother," he muttered. Crowley grinned lazily.

"Because I'm adorable?"

Suddenly the walls began to shake. Light flooded the room, seeping in from every crack and corner. The wood beams that crisscrossed the ceiling split, sending down a shower of splinters like dirty snow.

"It's Remiel!" Aziraphale yelled, spinning around and fixing Crowley with a wild look. "He's found us! You two go, now! I'll hold him off!"

"I'll expect to see you in one piece when I get back, angel!" Crowley shouted, bounding across the room to Eli. Aziraphale grinned, the crazed look in his eyes almost lost by the radiant white spilling around them like water.

"If this works, it won't matter if I die or not. Now go, my dears!"

Crowley grasped her hand, pulling her with him. It felt different, traveling with a demon, cold and slick, like she moved between the atoms of the world, compressed, and came out the other side.

Alone in his kitchen, Aziraphale faced the Archangel.

Bobby and Dean burst into the sitting room, startling Sam and Castiel from their tense conversation.

"What in God's name do you think you're doing, boy?" Bobby gasped out, staring at the scene in front of him, at the holy fire blazing and hot in the middle of his sitting room. "Have you completely lost your mind?"

"Don't!" Sam snapped as Dean moved to the kitchen, presumably for water. "Don't put it out."

"Get me out of here, Dean," Castiel growled. He was prowling along the edges of the circle, his trench coat inches away from catching alight, trying to find some chink in the armor. "Now."

"You two, just…listen to me," Sam pleaded, hands out. "There's a reason…"

"Oh, there's a reason you locked the angel in holy fire," Bobby said sarcastically. "Well thank God."

"What's going on, Sam?" Dean asked, approaching his little brother. "Where is Eli?"

"She found a way, Dean," Sam said earnestly, putting his hand on Dean's shoulder. "To fix everything. To stop the apocalypse. But it's dangerous and Cas…he can't interfere. This is for the best…"

"You know, everything is always for the best with you," Dean snapped, stepping away. "Drinking demon blood, killing Lilith, saying yes to Lucifer. Forgive me if I can't automatically trust your for the best line. What is she going to do?"

Sam's shoulders fell. He knew that Dean would immediately nix the plan if he knew that it would lead to Sam being trapped in hell. "I can't tell you."

"Can't, or won't?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes. Sam let out a huff of frustrated anger.

"Can't."

"Either you tell me what the fuck is going on or I let Cas out of that fire," Dean hissed. Sam shook his head, balling his hands into fists.

"I'll stop you if I have to, Dean. This is going to happen. She's going to save the world."

"At what cost?" Castiel rasped, pacing restlessly. "It has to be high, Dean, perhaps so high that all of us will be subject to it." Sam's gaze dropped. Castiel plowed on. "It makes sense, doesn't it? Explains why Sam is not willing to tell us what this brilliant plan is. It's going to have a nasty effect on everyone in this room. And for all of this, do we even know her plan will work?"

Sam's head jerked back up. "It will work!" he insisted. "It has to."

"I dunno, man, I gotta agree with Cas on this one," Dean said. "Eli has a track record of running off on her own to fix things and fucking them up worse than they were before. And end of the world or not, I am not willing to risk anyone in this room again. I've done that. Once is enough."

"Dean, no," Sam said pleadingly. "Bobby, come on, talk some sense into him! If it's a way to save the world we have to take it! Right?" Bobby didn't say anything. "Right?"

Bobby looked torn. "It would be better if you just told us all what this miracle plan is," he finally said. Sam looked like he was close to losing it.

"I can't!" he yelled. "I wish I could but if you knew…"

"You wouldn't agree to it," Castiel said in a low, rough voice. "None of us would. I'm not the only one thinking with my heart here, Sam, but you seem to be the only one willing to sacrifice everything for a slim chance at peace."

This stunned Sam enough that when Dean swung off his jacket, snarled "Fuck this!", and threw it over the flames, Sam was just one step too slow to stop him. The jacket muffled the fire; Castiel placed one foot on it, crossed the line, and was gone.

Eli and Crowley appeared in the middle of a tree-fort, about thirty feet off the ground. It was a perfect tree-fort, the kind of hide-out all kids wanted, knotted wood nailed together, a rope ladder leading to the ground, the rickety floor strewn with snacks and comic books.

"Oh good, you came!" said a bubbly voice. Eli turned; sitting on the ground, an open book in his lap, was a 12-year-old boy with a wild head of golden curls and blue eyes in a cherubic face. He literally shined. "Hiya!"

"Um, hello," Eli said, glancing at Crowley, who was holding it together, the only indication of his nerves the paleness of his face and a slight tightening of his lips. "Adam, isn't it?"

"Yep," Adam confirmed, patting the ground next to him. "Sit down!" His gaze slid to Crowley. "I remember you. You're in someone new, though." He frowned a little. "I liked the old one better."

Crowley coughed into his hand. "Yes, well…things change."

Adam shifted his attention back to Eli. "Sit," he commanded, and she did, folding her legs under her on the rickety wooden floor. Adam sighed deeply. "I didn' wanna get involved, but everything is all messed up and I just…I just had'ta, didn't I?" he asked, staring at her. "I mean, I can't just sit back when there's more killin' an' wars an' angels and stuff, can I?"

Eli shook her head, a bit overwhelmed by his presence. He beamed at her.

"I like you. You're a nice person, I can tell."

Eli cleared her throat. "Ah…thanks."

Adam nodded fiercely. "An' it will be better, you'll see. You'll get to do all that fun stuff you missed out on, ridin' bikes and playin' games and eatin' your mom's apple pie…I mean, doncha miss your mom? I would miss my mom. I'd much rather be playin' with my friends than huntin' monsters."

"We differ a bit in that respect," she said, smiling slightly. "But…I do. Miss my mom, I mean."

"An' she misses you. A lot," he said. "So ya see, you'll get t' save the world and have all those good things. I mean, that's good, right?" He sounded almost pleading. Eli blinked back tears.

"Doesn't mean much," she said. "Without love."

Adam wrinkled his nose. "I guess," he said loftily. "And you love him lots, doncha?"

She nodded. "Lots and lots."

"Well…" He clapped his hands together. "I know! I'm gonna do something for you. Something great."

Eli raised her eyebrows, waiting.

Castiel knew, as he flew to England, that there would be no use going to Aziraphale's shop. It was too late for that.

Luckily, unknown to the rest, he had taken it upon himself to read the prophetic novel by Neil Gaiman and Terry Prachett, and so knew exactly where to go instead. A small hamlet by the name of Tadfield.

He was just entering the town limits when he crashed into the barrier.

Considering that he was moving at about the speed of light, the crash was fierce, sending him flying nearly a mile back to land face-first in the dirt. He stood, rather shakily, wiped the dirt from his palms, and tried again, this time slow enough to be visible to the naked eye.

The barrier was an invisible bubble stretching around the town. Castiel put his hands on it, feeling its warmth and strength. It must have been Adam's doing. Inside of the bubble the town sat sleepy and calm, the syrupy gold light of early evening spilling over the idyllic cottages and white-picket fences.

"A rather benign use of his power, really," a voice drawled from behind him. "But I guess we're all lucky for that. Think about what he could have done if he tried."

Castiel spun around, a sword immediately in his hand. Remiel cocked an eyebrow at him mockingly.

"Really, Castiel? About to take on an Archangel? You don't have the juice anymore." His vessel was nearly identical to his visage in Heaven, all bone and long face, amber hair shining in the sun. His colorless eyes flickered with something close to amusement. "You don't want to end up like Aziraphale, do you?"

Castiel's face went a shade whiter. Remiel nodded smugly. "Oh yes." He opened his hand and let a crumpled pair of glasses fall to the ground. "It was like lighting fire to a paper doll."

"Don't be vile, Remiel," said another, sweetly feminine voice. "It's unbecoming."

Castiel felt a sick dread spread in his gut as he turned to look at the newcomer. "Sariel," he croaked. She nodded at him politely. Her vessel was in a well-tailored business suit, her shining dark hair pulled into a low bun, her almond-shaped eyes oddly tender.

"Hello, Castiel. I am sorry to have to see you again under these circumstances, but it can't be helped."

"It can always be helped," Castiel growled. "Or have you forgotten that all of this is your doing?"

Sariel tilted her head. "Despite Remiel's…enthusiasm, the truth still stands," she said delicately. "We still want peace. And I apologize."

Castiel raised his eyebrows, a gesture he had picked up from Eli. "You apologize?"

She nodded, her face very serene. "Yes. We should not have accosted you without hearing your say in the matter. You did not get a choice, and therefore there was no way that you could have chosen to do the right thing. I see that now, and for that I apologize."

"What she means," Remiel said, rolling his eyes. "Is that we were about to drag you off to jail without giving you the chance to do the right thing. The abomination had to go, she's just a piece to the puzzle, our own little dog, but you're our brother, Castiel. Join us now. Help up end this mistake of a world and bring about paradise."

Castiel bared his teeth. "Never," he swore throatily. "I protect this world with my life."

Remiel sighed. "Pity."

Castiel narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "You're wasting time, talking to me," he said slowly. "Why haven't you entered yet? Unless you can't." He smirked. "The barrier is too strong even for a pair of Archangels."

"Well, yes," Remiel admitted without concern. "But three…"

"I won't help you," Castiel rasped, his voice low and harsh like gravel. Remiel shrugged.

"Like I said: Pity. With your help, we could break the barrier and enter together. Without it…well, you'll still help. But I'm afraid this sigil will need copious amounts of angelic blood. And your grace, of course." He smiled at Castiel, his teeth very white and even. "I hear that the power flare of a grace is strongest at the moment an angel dies. I've always wanted to see if that theory is true."

Castiel backed up, sword in hand, but there was nowhere to go.

The Archangels advanced.

"You're going to do something for me?" Eli asked warily. "What?"

Adam's gaze flickered upward, as if hearing something the rest of them couldn't hear. Eli felt a sudden flare of panic that wasn't hers, and she realized that Castiel was close, and in trouble.

"Oh no," Adam said. "No no. They wanna come in. But they can't come in. This is my town." He turned to Eli. "I'm sorry; I was gonna give you snacks an' everything. But it's too late. I gotta send you back." He reached out to her. "Jus'…give your mom a hug for me, woncha?"

"Wait!" Eli cried, jerking back. "What are you going to do for me?"

Adam looked momentarily puzzled. Then his face broke into a dazzling grin. "Oh, that. I'm gonna give an angel a cold."

Eli and Crowley stared at the Anti-Christ with puzzled frowns, but he just giggled and put a hand on her shoulder.

The world wavered.

Castiel's fight with the Archangels halted abruptly. The air flickered, and felt wrong, like someone was unwinding the threads of reality.

"No!" Remiel yelled, throwing down his sword. "No!"

Sariel just buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking. "Forgive me, Father," she whispered.

Reality started to come apart.

There was a moment when the world hovered between creation and darkness. In that moment, something very strange happened.

Castiel sneezed.

The world came undone.

Eli blinked.

She was standing in her parent's backyard in the springtime, the scent of apple blossoms washing over her. In the distance the sun was setting, spreading a syrupy golden glow over the landscape. From this angle she could see inside the house; her parents were cooking together in the kitchen, ingredients spread out over the countertops, the family dog nipping at their heels.

She realized with a sudden pang that Adam had done it. Sent her back in time. She was nineteen years old again. This was the dream, the dream where she first met Castiel. The dream that started it all.

She waited. And then…

"You can have all of this again," a warm voice thrummed. It wasn't exactly a voice, more like words made out of light. She looked up. A piece of radiance from the setting sun broke away and hovered in the sky, glinting like a star. "I am an angel of the Lord, Elijah. I have been watching over you."

Quite abruptly, Eli burst into tears. She bent over, hands clutching her stomach, the sobs coming so fast and strong that she could barely breathe.

The being made of light hesitated. "Uh…Elijah. Don't…don't cry. This is a good thing."

She sobbed harder, falling to her knees and digging her fingers into the grass, her whole body shaking like a leaf. "It's not fair," she whimpered through gasping breaths. "Oh God, it's not fair."

The angel misunderstood her, mistaking her sobs for fear, fear at what had happened to her, at her ability to see demons, at the knowledge of all of the terrible creatures that roamed the earth. "Nothing in life is fair," he said gently. "But I can help you. I can wash away the memory of what happened that night, like I have done for your parents. I can close the doors in your mind that were opened. Never again will you have to fear. Never again will you be forced to see the faces of demons or feel their touch. You will be able to live out your life peacefully and happily, as it should have been."

Eli slowed her tears and stood, tottering on shaking feet. She faced the ray of light in the sky, feeling it warm her skin. "You're beautiful," she said in a hoarse voice. "More beautiful than anything I've ever seen. I never… I never really got to see your true form again. Not really. Even in Heaven…" She trailed off, choking back another sob. "You're so beautiful, my Castiel."

There was a sound like the rustling of wings. "What are you speaking of?" he asked, truly puzzled. "How do you know my name?"

She shook her head, rubbing tears from her eyes. "It doesn't matter. But before I do this, before I say yes, I want to say, while I still have the chance…" She drew a deep, shaking breath. "You have no idea who I am. You don't know me, and now, you'll never know me. But I will always love you." She stared into his near-blinding light, reveling in his presence for one last time. "Even when I don't remember you, even when you make it so that I have never known you, I will love you. Until the last star fades from the sky, I will love you. Always. Forever. Know that, Castiel. Know that you are loved." She started to cry again, tears running down her face, the taste of salt in her mouth. "Okay, I'm ready. Do it."

He drew nearer to her, and everything faded to white.