NIKKI

The dinner that Jax took me to in Lodi was spectacular. I really had to hand it to the biker, when he said dinner I wasn't thinking about a bike ride to another town. I'm glad he took me there though, let's me know I mean more to him than some place to sick his dick when he's got an itch. Last night was great and I really don't want to open my eyes as the sun decides to wake me. We didn't sleep together last night, just talked and watched a movie before spooning in my bed and falling asleep. I could feel something switch as we laid here last night. I open my eyes as the urge to use the bathroom comes over me and smile when I notice Jax's arm still around me and our legs tangled together. I quietly squirm under him, trying not to wake him as I get up to pee. I turn the water on in the shower while I do my business and then strip out of the cami and shorts that I wore to bed. I lean my head back and sigh as the water hits my face. I feel arms wrap around me and turn, smiling at the guy that's joined me. "Hey." I whisper.

He just smiles and leans in to kiss me. I put my hand around his neck as I step on my tip toe to deepen the kiss. Jax pushes me up against the wall of the shower, my breasts hitting the tile as he inserts himself into me from behind. No words are spoken to stop him, just a mutual sigh from both of us as he slides home. Home? I can't think more on that as his fingers find my clit and messes with it expertly as his shaft thrusts into my core from behind. I can feel the need to rise and start pushing back into him. He grabs my hips as they jet out from the wall and holds them steady as he plunges into me. I know neither of us will probably last long as my walls are already clenching and we have to be at the lot in about an hour. Jax leans into me and take my ear in his mouth. "Don't move, baby."

I just nod and he stands back up, moving one hand to my core to get me going quicker. I can feel the muscles vibrate against the man inside of me and I cry out as I come all over him. Jax thrusts two more times before letting himself go on the shower floor. He pulls me back to him and I melt as he takes the sponge, cleaning where he just was. It's a very intimate gesture and not one that we have shared. After cleaning my pussy, he lathers my loofa and cleans the rest of me as I just watch in awe. No man has ever cleaned my before, ever. He stands back up and looks at me, pouring some shampoo into his hand. "Turn and lean back."

I nod, not wanting to ruin the moment and let him message the soap into my hair before rinsing it out. I look up after he's done and take my loofa that's next to my soap. "Stay still." I whisper.

It's his turn to nod and I repeat the actions that he just did to me. I feel things that I know he can't be ready for pour from me and I quickly squish them. I can't say that to him, not yet. I finish rinsing his hair and he pulls me to him, kissing me softly. "Thank you."

I look up into his blue eyes and smile. "You're welcome. Same to you."

He just smiles and gives me a kiss as he reaches behind me to turn off the water that's now cold. He opens the door first and reaches for our towels, wrapping me up before tying his around his waist. I lead him to my room where I pick out a pair of orange cotton shorts and a white tank along with a white lingerie set for the day. I slip everything where it should go and leave Jax in the room while I go back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. I make quick work of my teeth and wrap my hair in a messy bun as he come in wearing a pair of jeans and his white SAMCRO shirt. He grabs my extra toothbrush that he uses and smiles as he brushes his teeth.

"Toast?" I ask as I look at his reflection.

He just nods while brushing his teeth and I walk out and head to the kitchen to let him finish his routine. We really shouldn't be this normal. The words love and home enter my mind again and I sit the toast in the toaster while getting out some travel mugs I had just bought. I fill the mugs and put them by the door, sitting at the table. Could I really love the man in my bathroom? That thought alone scares the shit out of me. We fought so hard when I got here and here it is, a month and love? Home? So much has changed and I've tried so hard to squash the feelings that keep creeping up on me. I look up as the toaster pops and see Jax entering the kitchen.

"Coffee's by the door. You riding with me today?"

He shakes his head, "I'll take the bike. The guys ask too much personal stuff when I ride with you."

I just nod and give him his piece as I grab my bag, my own piece sitting my mouth as we head out. I lock up and secure the alarm before heading to my car, Jax already at his bike and strapping his helmet. I wave and he gestures for me to come to him. I smile and walk over. "What?"

He leans in and kisses me. "Just wanted a kiss, baby."

I smile, "See you in 5, Mr. Teller."

He laughs and takes off.

I get in my car and sit everything where it goes before backing up and driving the short distance to the shop/clubhouse. I pull in next to Gemma and sit my bag in the truck, making sure my phone and keys are with me. I head over to Jax, who's smoking with Chibs and give him my keys. He slips them in his pocket without thinking since he's been doing it for a while now and we make small talk with the Scotsman. I see Gemma walk up and give Jax a kiss. I'm on painting duty still now that the hallway and JT's alcove is finished, we're painting the hallway an ivory color.

The doors still hadn't been nailed in, so Gemma and I were hoping to get the walls painted where the wall is up by lunch, some of the rooms this afternoon. Jax's room was finished, even the bathroom. Two other rooms were finished as well. Since Patch's are the only ones allowed a room, we only had Tig, Bobby, Juice, and Rat's to go. Happy and Chibs' rooms were down at the end with Jax's since they were officers. I help Gemma with the paint and supplies with one of the prospects and head back to the end of the hall. Gemma put the prospect on painting Jax's room as we started on the Hallway. I smile as I hear Jax and Chibs turning to start on a bedroom, Juice and my father taking the one across from it.

Happy and Rat were on the mainroom still, which was almost finished. They had the outside finished and were working on the walls for the kitchen and church as well as the main bathroom that was used for parties. I put in my ear buds to get started, hoping Gemma won't want to talk about the biker within hearing range. I try to drown out my thoughts with Thirty Seconds to Mars and Nirvana as I painting along the wall. I am not paying attention really, letting the music take me as I take one side and Gemma takes the other. I take a long roller so that my little body can make sure to get up to the ceiling before a prospect has to finish for me.

"Hey gorgeous."

I jump and look into the room I was passing to see Jax and Chibs. I look down and realize I had passed his room and had most of my side of the hallway finished. "Hey boys."

I sit my roller down to give my arms a break and sit on one of the buckets that had been turned over. "How's it going in here?"

They chuckle as Chibs smiles. "A'right, lass. Ye seemed pretty outta it o'er thar."

I smiled. "Jared Leto and Kurt Cobain will do that do you. I should get back, try to get my side finished before lunch."

The guys smile and Jax gives me a kiss before I head out of the room. They had most of the wall in place and really just needed the bathroom. I smile to myself as I push play on my ipod. I pick up my roller and proceed with my task. I get all the way down to the end and look up when someone taps me. Gemma gestures food and I nod. She turns and heads out with the prospect. I sigh and sit the roller down, heading back to where the supplies were to get a brush. I walk back up and start on the alcove while I wait for Gemma. I sit on the tarp we have down as I work my way around the inside of the cove to give my feet a rest.

I'm bopping my head as I finish the walls of the cove and smile as I see men out of the corner of my eye head out of the building. I stop my playlist and take out the buds, heading to food. Jax already had me a sandwich when I got to them and I take it, smiling in thanks. Those thoughts from this morning creep back up and I sat quiet as we all eat. I had a strong feeling that I was in love with the biker and it scared the living shit out of me. His divorce was still fresh, he was still getting used to not having the boys, surely he wasn't gonna jump head first in love with someone. I could tell that the man next to me could tell something was bothering me and was happy when he chose not to ask. I finish before everyone else and get up to finish the alcove before starting on Happy's room.

I make eye contact with Tig and shake my head when I see the concern on his face. I get back to my spot and put my buds back in, letting the music take me once more. It doesn't take me long to finish the alcove and I take my supplies to the room I've been assigned to. I dump more paint into the pan I'm using and get my roller wet with it before starting on the wall. I do the bathroom first since that's a small area and then go to town on the bedroom. I dance and bop to the music as my thoughts are still on the man in the other room working. I get all four walls done when I notice that the sun is setting. I stand in the middle of the room and look around, making sure I didn't miss any big spots.

"Hey, everyone's packing up."

I turn to Gemma and smile, taking out my last bud. "Alright. I think this one's done."

She walks in and stands next to me. "Looks like it, but with the sun going down, it's hard to say."

"Yeah." I sit the roller down and take the extender off it.

"Nichole."

I look up at the woman that has never used my whole name and she continues.

"You know you can talk to me. I know I'm Jax's mom, but if you need anything…"

I sigh and sit the roller where it won't drip and a prospect takes it to clean. "I'm just trying to figure things out, Gemma. Jax is a great guy. It's just…." I trail off not sure what to say.

She comes over and pulls me in a hug. "You love him. We can see it. He does to, baby girl."

I pull back and shake my head. "He's still going through shit with Tara. Surely he does…"

"I know my son and they fall hard, especially that biker. Don't question it, Nikki. Don't fight it either. You both will lose it if you do."

With that, she left me there to think. I let out a breath and roll my buds around my ipod and head back to my car. I come out into the lot and see the bikers all smoking before going home while the prospects clean up for the day. I walk up to them and Tig pulls me to his side. "Alright?"

I just nod and kiss his cheek as he smiles back at me. I look around and laugh at the men as they joke around.

"Ready?" Jax asks as he throws out his cigarette.

I nod and smile as he hands me my keys. He takes my hand in his and walks me to my car. I lean back onto it and look at the man who has caged me between him and the car.

"Ya sure you're alright, baby?"

I let out a breath. "Just thoughts, Jax. Shit I'm trying to work through."

I see an emotion in his eyes and close mine. "It's not you, well it is, but not what you think."

I open them to see him looking at me, his hand on my cheek. "Tell me."

I smile and lean in to give him a kiss. "When my thoughts don't scare me, I will."

He pulls me to him and I wrap my hands around him, my head on his chest. He lays his head on mine, everyone else fading from us as we stand there.

"Don't shut me out, Nikki. I don't think I could handle it. I'm falling in love with you."

I lose my breath as I hear the words whispered against my hair and squeeze him closer to me. He wraps me tighter and somehow I know it's because he thinks I'm going to be the one to end it. I look up at him and his eyes are on mine, full of worry. I stand on my tip toe, wrapping my arms around his neck, my head on his shoulder. "I love you, Jax."

I get in the car before he can say anything else and drive home, knowing he's going to be close behind. I pull into my drive to see that the biker has beat me home. I get out and he stands, walking to meet me halfway.

"Hi." I whisper.

"Why'd you run off, Nikki?"

I let out a breath and take his hand. "I have never felt this way, Jax. I'm so scared that this is going to fast and I don't want you to regret me."

He closes the gap between us and cups my face in his hands. "We are going just fine. I'm not going anywhere, not when I love you so damn much."

He kisses me, hard, before I can say anything else. When we need air, he looks at me and I smile. "Show me, Jax."

He just nods and takes my keys, my hand staying in his. He walks me to my room where he shows me just how much he loves me.

Finally an "I love you"! Hope you liked how I did this. You never know how to right the 'I love you' scenes and I wanted it different than most. Thanks to all the reviews, favors, and follows. Also, for those you have read the last chapter, I re-edited it. Thanks to Legolas' Girl 31 for letting me know it didn't load right. Please continue to leave reviews and till Jax-Brianna