A/N =

So sorry for the extremely long wait. I was even starting to get impatient myself, but I just had absolutely NO time at all to write. Like seriously. The only time I could spend on fanfiction was during the train ride to school in the early morning, and when I wasn't sleeping in the train I spend that time reading other stories on Fanfic.

I got so many AWESOME reviews! You're all amazing! Loads of new reviewers too, and loads of guests, like really A LOT of guests... XD

I love like almost every single one of you answered my questions :)

So I think it's fair to say that Kames is the winner, Kogan being a really, really close second, and also Jargan is fairly popular. Also I was very happy to see that especially Show Me got mentioned a lot, and also Cover Girl, ( I love that song ). And the Pilot definitely was the most popular episode...

I would just like to recommend three amazing stories. You definitely have to go read Missing in Motion and Slate's Acres by CrumpetCapers and Those You Trust by Winterschild11. Really, if you like this story you'll love theirs too!

Anyways, on with the story now. Again Kendall's behaviour is largely based on personal experiences.

Warnings: Mild language and angst as usual.

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Chapter 21

"Kendall..." Logan whispered in Kendall's neck, keeping his arms protectively around his blond, still slightly tense friend. Kendall immediately froze at hearing his name being whispered in his neck, but didn't pull his arms away. Logan felt his friend freeze, and immediately felt guilty.

"Kendall, I'm so sorry for..." He spoke a bit louder now and he slightly lifted his head from Kendall's shoulder to be able to look at his friend, who despite having his arms around Logan, hadn't been relaxed enough to fully return the embrace. Logan halted as he looked into Kendall's eyes. The normally green, energetic and stubborn eyes, now had a shade of grey over them and were slightly bloodshot. The energy and stubbornness, and just general happiness were nowhere to be found right then, washed away by the tears that were silently falling down his cheeks every now and then.

Logan forgot what he had wanted to say. What was there to say? Kendall was broken. He had been raped, and Logan had been in the room, asleep! He was such a bad friend. How could he not have woken up? Kendall must have been screaming his lungs out, and Logan had just continued to sleep, while Kendall's life was being ruined forever. Tears sprung to his eyes again as he thought about it. He should have been there to try to get the men to leave him alone, or at the very least to talk Kendall through it. To let Kendall have something else to have his attention on.

But it hadn't been like that. Logan hadn't woken up, he had let his friend down.

He grabbed for his chest with one hand, heaving in pain as he suddenly felt like he couldn't breath. Kendall's eyes widened in surprise when Logan pulled his left hand away from where it had been resting around Kendall's body, and he gasped when he saw Logan hiss in pain.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice raw and raspy. He found it kind of hurt to talk.

Logan inwardly cursed at the question, and quickly nodded as he breathed in slowly through his nose, relieved when he felt the pain get less. Kendall looked at his friend with concern in his eyes, suddenly seeing just how bad Logan looked. He only now saw the bruises on his friends' arms and face, and the dried blood under his nose. And how incredibly pale and tired his friend looked. He hadn't noticed because he had been completely locked in his own world of pain until now. He swallowed painfully as he was hit with a wave of guilt and the overwhelming feeling of uselessness.

"Logan... What did they do to you?" He managed to choke out through his painfully dry throat, the shock and concern, and the fear, lacing through his almost whispered words.. Logan bit his lip as he heard the question. His whole body hurt. He had been hurting before Kendall had woken up, but he had managed to hide it for the sake of his friends. Then during the ordeal with Kendall the pain had been placed to the back of his mind. But now the pain was back and hit him hard. It was his chest and his stomach that hurt the most, they had kicked him there repeatedly. He figured they might have cracked a rib or two.

But even though he was in pain and he wanted nothing more than to have Kendall baby him like he always did when something was wrong with one of his friends, he couldn't. Kendall had been hurt way worse than Logan, he decided, and the last thing Kendall needed to worry about was Logan.

So he took one last deep breath then he looked up at Kendall again and managed a small smile.

"I'm fine. They hurt me and Carlos a while ago, and it hurts a bit, but I'll be fine..." He paused when he saw Kendall's eyes looking at his bruises, noticing how he was quite obviously trying to avoid looking Logan in the eyes. The fake smile on Logan's bruised face faded away and he grabbed Kendall's hands, his stomach clenching when he saw Kendall flinch violently, and saw his green eyes widen.

"Are... Are you okay, Kendall?" He then asked awkwardly. Kendall was completely still for a moment or two, staring at his feet, making Logan think for a second that he wasn't going to get an answer. Then he saw Kendall ball his hands into fists, making Logan have to release his hands, and slightly start to tremble again.

"Kendall?" He asked worriedly, as he saw Kendall slightly curl in on himself, the pain from his chest once again drifting to the back of his mind as worry was threatening to eat him apart.

Kendall flinched away when Logan tried to touch his arm, like his touch had burned him.

"Please don't touch me." Kendall said in such a small voice Logan only barely caught it.

"Kendall, it's just me. You know it's just me, I would never ever hurt you like he did." Logan said, hurt in his voice, but also understanding.

"I know it's just you. I know you wouldn't hurt me... But I can't... I just... he..." Kendall was struggling with his words, not daring to say what he was feeling, not even knowing how to say it. It wasn't that he was afraid Logan was going to hurt him because he was touching him... It was just that the memories were still so fresh that every time someone touched him, he was thrown into a weird sort of flashback, and the feeling of Logan touching him changed into the feeling of Chris touching him. He just couldn't block it out, he kept hearing the grunts, and his own screams, and the feeling of pain and fear and humiliation... And it wasn't just that... It wasn't just the memory or flashback of Chris. For the most part it was a feeling he got. It was the feeling of utter disgust, shame and uselessness that hit him, just like it had hit him when James had woken him up and touched him. Only then it had been mixed with panic as well. Guilt and shame overwhelmed him when he though about it, but he couldn't help but shudder in shame and disgust at the thought of someone touching him. And he couldn't turn that feeling off. It was like he had developed a new emotion.

He decided that he couldn't even describe it to himself, let alone to Logan, so he just shook his head.

"Just don't touch me, please."

Logan looked at him with hurt evident in his eyes, but he nodded anyway.

"Alright... Just know that you can talk to me. I'm here for you."

Kendall didn't know why, but he felt utterly ashamed. He wished he could just disappear.

For a moment both boys were silent, one boy wallowing in shame and self-disgust, one boy in suppressed pain and concern.

"Hey... I don't know when they'll be back, so... like, if you want to take a shower or something..." Logan said softly, breaking the silence. He knew he himself wasn't going to take one. He didn't want to even think about it, his body way too bruised for that. He did however want to drink some water and to clean the blood away from his face. But he didn't want to leave Kendall alone when he was in a state like this.

Kendall's ears perked up at the word shower, and he snapped his head around, like he saw the thing for the first time. Then he snapped his head back to look at Logan self-conscious.

"Uh... I..."

"I'll turn around if you want, and I'll promise not to look." Logan promised honestly, understanding what Kendall meant. Kendall had always been the most self-conscious about his body, and he hated being naked in front of people. So even if Kendall hadn't been raped, Logan had expected him to hesitate.

"What if... what if he comes in?" Kendall then asked timidly, and Logan was slightly taken aback by that. He tried to come up with an answer, but couldn't find one. He could see the fear in Kendall's eyes.

"Would it be weird if I showered in my underwear?" Kendall asked in a small voice, not meeting Logan's eyes. Normally Logan would scream yes at him, but now he shrugged. He could imagine his underwear was... well bloody and stuff... Maybe it was a good idea, he thought uncomfortably.

"Of course not." He answered encouraging. Kendall still looked a bit hesitant, but the feeling of the sweat and kisses and touches of the man still on him made him make up his mind.

He got to his feet and walked over to the shower on wobbly legs. Logan got to his feet as well, dizziness and pain attacking his body immediately and he swayed on his feet for a moment.

"I'm going to be at the sink, alright? Don't hesitate to ask me for help if you need it." He spoke once the light-headedness left him and he walked over to the sink. Kendall stopped in front of the shower, suddenly filled with a desperate need to wash all the evidence away of what had happened, but he dreaded the fact that he had to undress himself. He took one shakily breath and quickly turned his head, checking that Logan indeed wasn't looking and that the door was still locked and Chris wasn't in the room. Then he grabbed the hem of his shirt and started pulling it over his head.

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James had managed to crawl his way over to Carlos again. He was seething in anger at their captors, and at the same time shaking with worry for Logan and Kendall. Who knows what might be going on right now? He couldn't help but be plagued by the memories of the last time they had a bathroom break and Chris had almost raped Kendall right in front of him. What if it was happening again? Or what if he was raping Logan now? He didn't know if he could deal with two friends being raped. He couldn't even deal with one of them being raped. He tried not to feel hurt that Kendall had pushed him away.

But he decided there was absolutely nothing he could do about any of it now, except for sitting and waiting for them to return.

Carlos was still staring straight ahead with glassy eyes. James swallowed before trying to get his friends' attention.

"Carlos? Carlos, are you with me?"

For a moment Carlos didn't react, but then he slowly turned his head towards James, to look at him.

"Yes." He whispered weakly, making James gulp.

"What's wrong buddy? Are you in pain?" He asked in a gentle, but extremely worried voice, feeling ice-cold shivers run over his back as he saw Carlos nod.

"My leg..." He whispered in a pained sigh. James bit his lip, feeling sorry for his friend, and worried, but mostly he felt anger. Anger directed at Hawk, Chris and Pete. Anger for being kidnapped, right before a concert. Anger for being hurt and seeing his friends get hurt. Anger for Kendall being raped, and for Carlos and Logan to be beat up. Anger at how unfair it was. But he willed himself to take a deep breath and stay calm for Carlos' sake. He glanced at the wound on Carlos' leg briefly. It didn't look to be worse than before, but it didn't look better either.

"I'm really sorry, buddy. I wish I could do something about it. When it's out turn for a bathroom break I'll clean it again with water, alright? For now just hang tight, buddy, and think about good things." He spoke gently, trying to sound optimistic, while in reality he felt more and more depressed with every second. Carlos sighed and briefly closed his eyes.

"I can't think of any good things." Was all he said, before he opened his eyes again tiredly. James sighed.

"What? Superman Carlos can't think of any good things? What about corndogs? Helmets? Bunnies or kittens?" James tried to make Carlos show him even the slightest hint of a smile, and sighed relieved when he saw the side of Carlos' mouth twitch slightly, but only for a second or two.

"I can't believe they raped Kendall..." Carlos spoke, startling James. His eyes widened slightly. He was sure that Carlos had been too out of it to understand what had taken place just a few moments ago. Apparently he had been wrong...

"Me neither, buddy... But it's Kendall... Come on, he'll pull through." James tried to convince himself just as much as Carlos.

"Do you think he's mad at us?" Carlos almost whispered then. James wanted to scream no, but his own guilt was eating him apart as well.

"Of course not, Carlos." He almost whispered back. "He's just in shock right now."

For a moment they were both silent, Carlos having his eyes closed again, and James leaning against the bed frame tiredly.

"Do you think they'll... r-rape us too?" Carlos' voice sounded as small as a child, the vulnerability of it making the anger spike up again in James.

"No they won't. I won't let them." James spoke strongly, anger and protectiveness sounding through his low voice. Carlos again gave a very, very small smile, but it was enough to make James feel a twinge of relief. Carlos then closed his eyes again, his body too weak to keep him awake much longer.

James stayed awake, waiting for his other two friends to return, and wanting to stay awake to be able to protect Carlos if need be. James was angry, but also frightened by his friends' behaviour. He was frightened by Carlos' vulnerability. Carlos wasn't known for showing that was afraid. He was the most naive out of the four, yes, but normally he was almost just as stubborn and protective as Kendall when it came to his friends. But now he just looked hurt and afraid and frankly it was so unlike Carlos that it scared the shit out of James.

Not to mention the fact that Kendall had been so panicked that he had pushed James away when he had wanted to calm him down. Kendall had rejected his help, too traumatised to accept his best friend. James knew stories about people who had been raped, and how they had been traumatised their whole life afterwards. James guessed this proved the stories were true...

Seeing Kendall panic wasn't something James had never seen before. Whenever Kendall lost control over a situation he often tended to lose his cool with it. But seeing Kendall panic with genuine fear in his eyes and seeing him afraid of his best friend was something James had never ever had to experience in his life before. And he hated the sight of it.

To be completely fair, James didn't really know how Logan was dealing with all of this. Logan never liked it when the boys got him into another crazy situation, and normally he always complained and objected a lot when they were in a crazy or dangerous situation. But now he wasn't complaining at all anymore.

James knew Logan was trying to stay strong for the rest, at a few times being forced into the shoes of the leader, but he was very afraid. He had been afraid from the very start, and now he had been beaten up until he passed out. James had to admit he was proud of his smartest friend for not showing how much pain he really was in and trying to stay strong for the group. James really really hoped that Logan would hold himself together like that for at least a while longer, because he didn't know how the hell he himself would deal with all of this if all three of his friends broke...

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A/N = I hope this wasn't disappointing after such a long wait. Hopefully the next update will be way sooner that this one.

I'm gonna do another question :) What age are you? I'm nineteen. You don't have to answer of course, but I'm just a very curious person :P

Also, since we're almost on 700 reviews, and I'd like to give some shoutouts again then, I'd like to ask the guest reviewers if they could maybe leave a name below the review? Again, you don't have to, but if you are the 700th reviewer and you're anonymous it's kind of hard for me to give you a shoutout lol! :P

And if you have a question for me you really want answered you can PM me, I try to always answer ASAP to a PM.

Now, I'm going back to homework.

Hugs, Evi