Hey guys! Thanks soooo much for all the reviews and lovely words in regards to everything else. It's getting a bit easier. I took a trip to NYC to visit a friend and didn't get a chance to put this up before I left. I was trying to edit it last night but I fell asleep so I'm finally getting it posted! lol. I definitely had some inspiration while in NYC so you might see some one-shots pop up. ;)

You know the drill...if you liked the chapter, please drop me a review. They always brighten my day! Hopefully I have the next chapter up by the weekend. :)

How Will I Know

Chapter Twenty One

Saturday morning was an early one for Gabby. She usually made an effort to get up at least half an hour before the boys normally woke just to give herself time to wake up and get ready. So when Eli came running into her room and scrambling up onto her bed like it was Christmas morning, completely startling her awake, Gabby thought for sure she'd slept through her alarm.

"It's time to wake up, mommy!"

The bounce of her bed caused her stomach to turn and she held in a groan. Reaching blindly for her phone, she flipped it over and checked the time. 7:03. She settled her head back on her pillow and closed her eyes, "Elijah, why are you up so early?"

"Because the first number on the minion clock in my room is seven and Matt is done with work when the first number is eight. That means it's almost time for Matt to come over!"

Though her eyes were still closed, Gabby smiled at her son's attempt to tell time. "He doesn't get off work until eight thirty, baby. We've still got time." Eli moved again, crawling up next to Gabby and her smile faltered as her stomach once again stirred. "Eli, try not to shake the bed, ok?"

Eli settled next to his mom and curled into her side, "why? Does your tummy hurt? Was it Uncle Antonio's burritos from last night?" He reached down and grabbed the comforter that was draped around his mother's waist and pulled it up and over the both of them.

Gabby smirked, "maybe." Though she was starting to think she had picked up the flu or some sort of virus from work. She'd been feeling under the weather for the past few days but today was the first time she'd actually felt nauseas. Just another reason to hate working in the E.R.

She'd stuck to her decision not to tell Matt about what had happened to the flowers he'd sent her but every day she'd worked since then, the behavior from Hallie and some of the nurses was bordering on unprofessional. Ok, their behavior was unprofessional but now it was pushing limits that had Gabby reconsidering where she was working.

She'd had a few good years at Lake Shore but she was starting to miss the closeness and comradery from the people of Firehouse Fifty One that continued to hold them close to her heart. She missed feeling like part of a team.

"Uncle Antonio likes to put weird flavors in his foods," Eli noted, pulling Gabby back to their conversation.

Since his separation with Laura, Antonio had decided to spend what little free time he did have from work in the kitchen trying to perfect some of their grandmother's old recipes. Recipes that Gabby had perfected as a teenager and knew by heart. She'd even offered to help him out last night but he'd insisted on doing it himself.

So Gabby had respected his wishes and spent time in the adjoining living room catching up with her niece and nephew who were staying with their father for the weekend. She's was happy to see that both Diego and Eva were adjusting well to the change in their parents' relationship.

"Your uncle just needs to practice."

"But you still cook lots better, mama." He scooted up so he was face to face with her. "When will I know where we're going today?"

Smooth, Eli. Gabby thought. Compliment me before you try to get information out of me. "When we get there, baby."

"What about a hint?" Eli begged.

Gabby opened her eyes and met Eli's. "That would give away the surprise, silly."

"Not if it's a really small hint," Eli insisted.

"Nice try, Elijah." Her alarm went off and she hurried to turn it off. "I need to take a shower before your brother wakes up." She grabbed the remote to the small television placed on top of her dresser that she hardly ever used. The last time she'd used it had been a couple of weeks ago when she'd had a really bad day at work and the complete silence that had settled around her had become suffocating.

In fact, it had been one of the nights Matt had been on a call at a bad warehouse fire and she hadn't been able to talk to him before going to bed. It was the little things like that, that caught her off guard and made her realize how much she really did care for him.

"You want to stay here and watch something while I take a shower?" Though she knew Eli was fine to be left alone for a few minutes, she hated taking a shower when one or both of the boys were awake.

"Yes!" Eli grinned and scooted over to the spot his Gabby had just been occupying. He cuddled into the comforter and started flipping through the channels until he got to his favorite channel. "Look! Despicable Me is on!"

"Well there you go," Gabby grabbed the clothes she would be wearing for the day and her phone, "come get me if your brother wakes up and starts crying, ok?"

"Ok," Eli replied, his sole focus already on the movie.

Forty minutes later, Gabby had managed to get herself and both boys ready. She'd decided against the time consuming task of messing with her hair and just let it stay down in its natural state of curls. There was a little disagreement between her and Eli when she turned the tv off and told him to go get dressed. He pouted and she told him it was either Despicable Me or spending the day with Matt. That ended the argument real quick. It'd taken the five year old no time to get ready and once he slipped his shoes on, he wandered back into his mother's room and resumed watching the movie while Gabby had her attention focused on Gus.

Gus on the other hand, was another story. He'd woken up in quite the rambunctious mood and refused to sit still as his mother got him dressed. With on hand on Gus, Gabby used her other hand to brace herself against the changing table she had him on. Once again the nauseous feeling had returned, creating unpleasant waves in her stomach. "Augustus," Gabby practically begged as soon as the feeling was gone. "Please sit still so mommy can dress you, ok? We're gonna go see Matt today."

At the mention of Matt's name, Gus grinned and the few teeth he had were on full display. He clapped his hands, "Att! Att!"

Originally, Matt and Gabby had planned on Matt stopping by her apartment once shift ended and they would head out from there. But after Matt's sweet gesture with the flowers earlier in the week, Gabby wanted to surprise Matt by showing up with the boys at the station and taking him out to breakfast.

It was a few minutes before eight thirty when Gabby pulled up behind Matt's truck and killed the engine. Eli's head popped up and he met his mother's eyes through the rearview mirror. "Are we gonna go in?"

"We'll surprise him out here, ok?"

She knew if she took the boys into the firehouse it would be hours before she would be able to get them to leave and though she loved visiting 51, she wanted a day with just her three boys.

"Ok. By his truck?"

Having talked to Gabby earlier and knowing her plan to surprise Matt, Shay made sure she walked out of the firehouse the same time Matt did. Though she regularly teased Matt every time she saw that puppy love look flash across his features, it was actually pretty adorable.

Matt kept his head down to avoid the bright morning sun and didn't even notice Gabby and the boys until he looked up to cross the street towards his truck. He laughed, Eli was jumping up and down making sure he was seen.

"Have a good day, Casey," Shay nudged before heading the other way down the sidewalk and catching up with Kelly.

Matt's grin only grew as he crossed the street, "this is a nice surprise." He held his hand out to Eli and smiled when the little boy enthusiastically gave him a high five. "Hey, buddy!"

"Hi, Matt! Guess what?"

"What?"

"We're gonna go get breakfast!"

"That is," Gabby began, feeling a bit nervous for some odd reason. "If you haven't eaten already."

Matt shook his head, "I haven't. Otis tried his hand at cooking breakfast this morning and…" he shuddered. "It wasn't good," he admitted.

"I can imagine." She searched Matt's eyes for any sign of exhaustion. She didn't want him wearing himself thin just to please her and the boys. She knew from experience how hard it was to work a straight twenty four hours, clock out and then keep on going. "Was it a busy shift? Did you get any sleep?"

"Not a single call during the night. I'm all rested up and ready for a day of fun!" He chuckled at Eli's increased enthusiasm and caught Gus' big brown eyes watching him intently. He ruffled the toddler's hair. "Hey, Kiddo."

The one year old grinned as soon as Matt's attention fell on him and he bounced excitedly in his mother's embrace. Gabby winced as Gus' arms flailed around, coming in contact with her chest. She bit back a slight groan and captured both of his hands in one of hers. "As you can see, they're both excited to see you."

"Can we go to the waffle place?" Eli asked suddenly. "And can I get chocolate chips on my waffle?"

"I think the waffle place sounds like a great idea," Matt agreed. He motioned towards Gabby's car and looked over at her. "Want me to drive?"

Gabby nodded and the four of them settled back into Gabby's car. With Gabby struggling against Gus' refusal to get back into his car seat and Matt listening intently to Eli's nonstop chatter while he helped the five year old into his own car seat, neither one of them saw the car sitting idly down the street from them. Its single occupant was gripping the steering wheel with anger as they observed the four of them acting like the perfect little family.

Matt slipped into the car, adjusting the driver's seat to make room for his legs and waited for Gabby to get Gus buckled in. When Gabby settled into the car a few minutes later, he caught her off guard and captured her lips with his as soon as she turned to look at him. Eventually and reluctantly, he pulled his lips from hers and rested his forehead against hers. "It's a great feeling," he whispered.

"What is?"

"Knowing I have someone waiting for me once my shift ends."

"Can we please go see The Story of SUE?" Eli asked as he held tightly onto Matt's hand. They'd just finished lunch at the Explorer Café and were heading back towards the exhibits when Eli noticed the poster for the 3.D. movie. Through every exhibit they'd seen, Eli had the conversation going right back to the giant T-Rex.

"I don't know, buddy." Matt started, glancing at Gus who had just fallen asleep in his stroller. "Your brother just fell asleep."

Gabby shook her head, "you two go ahead. I'll sit out here so Gus can sleep."

Matt raised a brow, "you sure?" He could sense something was off with Gabby as soon as he laid eyes on her back at the station. She barely ate her breakfast and struggled through finishing her lunch. He finally met her eyes and silently asked her if she was ok.

She gave him a small nod, "Yeah. I think the movie might be a bit much for Gus so you guys should go while he's sleeping that way he won't put up a fight."

"Ok," Matt agreed. "It's only twenty minutes so we won't be too long."

Though he'd just fallen asleep, noise from another child crying not too far from them startled Gus from his nap and his mouth scrunched into a pout, none too pleased with disturbance. He found his pacifier resting discarded next to him and popped it back in his mouth before pulling himself up and grinning at his mother.

Gabby raised a brow, "awake already?" She'd really been hoping he would sleep for an hour or so. He was still young enough that if he didn't take a decent nap after lunch he was bound to spend rest of the day cranky and the evening would be an absolute nightmare.

Gus kicked his legs and reached for his mother, "mama!"

She sighed but gave in to his request and pulled him from his stroller. She was surprised when he tried to wiggle his way out of her embrace and instead of fighting him, she let his feet hit the ground and took a hold of one of his hands so he could wander around.

Maybe he would tire himself out and take a nap?

"That was so cool!" Eli exclaimed as he held tightly onto Matt's hand as they walked out of the theater. "I wish dinosaurs were still alive!"

Matt chuckled, "oh yeah?"

"Yeah! It would be awesome!"

As the two headed back towards where they'd left Gabby and Gus, Matt felt his phone buzz. He grabbed it from his pocket and checked the message. "Looks like Gus didn't take a very long nap. Your mom says they are in the gift shop."

"Oh! Can I get a new toy?"

"You'll have to ask your mom, buddy."

Eli frowned. "But why can't I ask you? Aren't you kinda like my dad now?"

Was it possible for one's heart to swell with pride while also drop in anxiety? Because that's exactly how Matt felt.

"What uh…what do you mean?"

"Well my friend at school, Jacob, his mommy got married to this guy and now Jacob calls him dad. So if you and mommy are together, doesn't that mean I can call you dad?" He shrugged, "I've never had a dad before. Uncle Antonio is cool but he is dad to Diego and Eva." He looked up at Matt expectantly. "You're not a dad to anybody else are you?"

Matt shook his head and swallowed hard. "Uh…no. But Eli, your mom and I aren't married."

"Well are you going to get married?"

"I hope. Maybe one day."

"Maybe if you buy her flowers she might marry you," Eli suggested. "Purple ones. That's her favorite color."

Matt raised a brow. He'd learned long ago that Eli was very observant, surely the boy had seen the flowers he'd had delivered to Gabby. "I did buy your mom flowers. Didn't you see them?"

Eli scrunched up his lips in confusion. "No. You did buy my mom flowers but she didn't marry you?"

"I didn't ask her to marry me."

"Well why not?"

"Because sometimes you have to take things slow," Matt answered. "Like school. You have to be in kindergarten for a whole year so you can learn stuff before you can move onto the first grade. You can't just be in kindergarten for one day and decide you're ready for first grade, can you?"

Eli shook his head, trying to understand Matt's explanation. "So you have to learn before you can get married?"

"Something like that."

"Ok," Eli said, content with Matt's answer. As soon as they got within sight of the gift shop, Eli was quick to spot his mom and brother inside. He dropped Matt's hand and went racing towards his mother. "Mommy!"

Gabby looked up from the toddler shirt she'd been checking the price on. "Hey! Did you like the movie?"

Eli nodded. "I did! And guess what?"

Gabby smiled. She never got tired of the wide-eyed look of wonder that was always appearing on her son's face. "What?"

"I'm going to be a dinosaur scientist when I grow up!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep!" He noticed the shirt his mother was looking at and his eyes widened. It was completely covered in assorted sizes of dinosaur prints. "Can I get one too?"

"I don't know, they're pretty expensive," Gabby admitted, almost somewhat embarrassed.

Matt reached for his wallet. "It's ok, I got it."

Gabby shook her head, "Matt, you don't have to do that."

"I know," he insisted. "But I want to. Consider it me paying you back for breakfast."

"But breakfast was not that expensive," she said, motioning towards the price tag. One shirt was nearly the cost off all four of their meals.

"Well then just consider it a gift, can you do that for me?" Matt asked though in his mind there was no question. Gabby reluctantly nodded. "Great." He looked back over at Eli, "so this is what I'm thinking, one shirt and one toy, ok?"

"A toy?"

"Yep. But just one so why don't you start looking." He met Gabby's eyes and sent her a wink. "He's gotta start somewhere in his dream to be a dinosaur scientist, right?" He was relieved when Gabby gave him a smile in return, for a while there he was worried that he had overstepped. He reached for Gus, and his heart swelled as the one year old gladly went into his arms. "Ok, Augustus, what kind of toy do you want? A stuffed animal? Maybe a little dinosaur?"

Eli being Eli, he had managed to sweet talk his way to not only getting a t-shirt and a toy but also a book. Because, as he had pointed out to the two adults, a book wasn't a toy, it was for learning. Usually good at standing her ground when it came to her son's debate antics, Gabby caved right away. She wasn't sure if she just wasn't up for arguing with him or if she was just happy that he had actually become really interested in reading since starting school.

But Gabby had made him promise to share the book with Gus.

They'd stayed the entire day and left right at five as the museum was closing for the day.

"My legs hurt," Eli whined as the four made their way to the parking lot. He had one hand gripping the side of Gus' stroller and the other in Matt's hand. "Can you carry me, Matt?" He asked, looking up at him. "Please?"

Matt met Gabby's amused look and she shrugged her shoulders, letting him know it was his decision. If he didn't want to carry him, then she knew Eli could suck it up and walk what little bit they had left. As Gabby secretly expected, Matt caved.

"Well, since you said please," he quipped. He reached down and hoisted Eli up into his arms. His heart once again swelled as Eli wrapped his arms around Matt's neck and settled his head on his shoulder.

Between the four of them, Matt wasn't sure who was more exhausted. As soon as Matt started driving, a comfortable silence fell between them. Gus had turned his head to the side of his car seat and didn't even fight his exhaustion as he closed his eyes and immediately fell asleep. Eli on the other hand, kept dozing off only to startle himself back awake. And Gabby, while she didn't fall asleep, she kicked her shoes off and curled her feet beneath her, turning towards the window and watching as they passed the city by.

On the way back to the apartment, they stopped and got a cheese pizza to take home for dinner. Continuing on with their day of fun, they set up dinner in front of the television and let Eli choose a movie to watch.

Once the credits started to roll, Eli looked up and giggled upon seeing that his mother had fallen asleep tucked into Matt's side. "Mommy fell asleep before me."

Matt nodded, "she sure did. What do you say you go brush your teeth and get ready for bed?"

"I am ready, I already have my jammies on."

"Well go brush your teeth and I'll tuck you in, then?"

"Can we read my new dinosaur book?"

"Sure. We just have to be quiet because your brother is sleeping."

When Matt walked back into the living room nearly half an hour later, Gabby had woken up and had her elbow propped on one arm of the couch and her head resting in it. He smiled, she was so cute whenever she's just woken up and trying to focus her senses. He lifted her feet up and sat down, placing her feet in his lap.

"Hey, sleepyhead."

"Hey," she mumbled. "Did you get Eli to bed?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah, not without reading his new book, though."

She gave a tired smile. "Sounds like Elijah, anything to stay awake a little bit longer."

He glanced at his watch, "I should get going. Herrmann wants me to help him with some brilliant idea of his at Molly's first thing tomorrow morning."

"You can stay."

"I thought we were taking it slow? Doesn't me spending the night kind of go against that?" Of course he would like nothing more than to crawl into bed next to Gabby and hold her tight against him as her rhythmic breathing lulled him to sleep.

Gabby nodded, "you're right. Sorry." She pulled her feet from his lap and swung them to the floor so she could sit up. She rubbed at her face and ran her hands through her hair before standing up. "You should go ahead and go then, I'm headed straight to bed." Feeling slightly rejected she wouldn't look at him and took to cleaning up the mess that had been left behind from dinner.

Matt knew what she was doing. "Gabby…" he started, grabbing rest of the dirty dishes and following her the short distance to the kitchen. He settled them into the sink with the ones she'd just sat down and slipped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. "Hey, hey," he whispered as he felt her relax into his embrace. "You know there's nothing more I'd like than to stay the night, right?" He felt a small nod against his chest and kissed the side of her head. "I just want to respect your wishes of taking things slow."

"I know," she whispered. "And I appreciate it." She shrugged and he loosened his hold on her so she could turn around to face him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and settled her head against his chest. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm kind of giving you mixed signals."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Gabby." As much as he didn't want to, he pulled away so he could look down into her eyes. "Is everything ok? You seemed a little distant today. Was it too much?"

She shook her head, "just tired. I think I might've picked up something while working in the E.R."

"Well, in that case," Matt joked as he dropped his arms from around her and took a few steps back. The little pout on her face was adorable. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He returned his arms to her waist and kissed the side of her head. "You do feel a little warm," he mumbled.

"I'll be fine."

"I know. I have no doubt about it. How has the E.R. been, by the way?" A brief look flashed by Gabby's face and though Matt wasn't quite sure what it was, he knew it wasn't good. "I take it not good, huh?"

Gabby shrugged and slid out of Matt's arms, "it's just different. Not my usual routine. No big deal."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Gabby answered rather quickly. A little too quick.

"What's going on, Gabby?"

"It's just different. The environment, the patients…the people I work with."

"What do you…oh." Matt's eyes widened and he felt like an idiot for not putting it together sooner. "Hallie is an attending doctor in the E.R." Though it was a statement, Gabby's refusal to meet his eyes answered whatever question he had in his words. "Is she making it difficult for you?"

Another shrug. "Nothing I can't handle."

Matt sighed, "Yeah, but you shouldn't have to handle it. You're there to help people, the last thing you need to be doing is worrying about yourself on top of everything else going on there."

"But I am," Gabby insisted. "I'm handling it just fine, ok? It's only temporary. So until things slowdown in the E.R., I'll just continue to do what I've been doing; staying out of everybody's way and doing my job. Just, please, believe me when I say I'm handling it, ok?"

Matt nodded, "I do believe you." In one swift move, he wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted her up on the counter top. He was pleased to see the smile that graced her features and pecked her lips. With their eyes now leveled with one another, Matt managed to catch Gabby's gaze. "I'll always believe you. But I'm guessing the flowers didn't help the situation, did it?"

There it was again. That look.

Gabby shrugged. "I thought it was a sweet gesture and really, my opinion is the only one that matters, right?"

"Always," Matt assured as he mentally mulled over his choice of words. He wasn't going to push her but he was going to find out what exactly she was keeping at bay. He was still working on the tearing down the brick wall she'd built before he'd met her…the last thing either of them needed was another layer of bricks piling up. "Just know the feeling is mutual. But out of curiosity, mind if I ask you something?"

Gabby hesitated. "What?"

"Did Hallie get rid of the flowers?"

Gabby dropped the act and looked fearfully at Matt. "How'd you know?"

"I mentioned the flowers to Eli today and he had no idea what I was talking about. And as we both know, Eli notices everything."

"Yeah, you've got a point." She bit her bottom lip nervously. "You're not mad, are you?"

"At you?" Matt shook his head, "absolutely not." He sighed, trying to keep his anger at bay. "But Hallie was way out of line. She has absolutely no right to be treating you the way she is."

"I know," Gabby agreed. "But hopefully I'm not in the E.R. much longer." Or Lakeshore, for that matter, Gabby thought to herself. She reached out and took his face in her small hands, "please don't stress about this, Matt."

"You know I can't promise that."

"I know."

"As long as we're on the same page." He leaned forward and captured her lips with his. The kiss didn't get very far before Gabby was breaking it with a yawn. He laughed, "I hope I'm not boring you."

Gabby shook her head, feeling the warmth spread across her face. "I'm sorry. I'm exhausted."

"Don't be sorry. I'm really happy today went so well." He kissed her nose, "but I think this is my cue to go." A thought occurred to him. "Shit," he muttered.

"What?"

"My truck is still at the station."

"Oh." Gabby didn't know what to say. He'd already decided he wouldn't be staying the night but it wasn't like she could exactly pile two sleeping kids into her car and drive him over to the station to get his truck. She was drawn out of her thoughts by her name being repeatedly called. "Huh?"

Matt smirked, "I asked if your offer for me to stay over still stands."

Gabby nodded, "of course."

When Gabby woke up alone the next morning she thought maybe she'd dreamed about falling asleep in Matt's arms. And honestly, it sounded like a reasonable explanation, it wouldn't have been the first time she woke up from dreaming about Matt. Stretching her arms out above her head, she groaned at the soreness that coursed through her body and rolled over, hoping to get a few more minutes of peace and quiet.

After just enough time to fall back into a deep sleep, Gabby was awoken by a slight nudge of her arm. "Gabby?"

Confused, she opened her eyes and met Matt's blues. "Matt?"

He smiled, "hey. Sorry to wake you but I've got to get going. I have a job in a few hours and need to get back to my place."

Gabby shook her head, "but I was just awake and you weren't here. I'm confused," she mumbled.

"Yeah, Eli woke up a couple of hours ago and Gus woke up a bit after him so the boys and I had breakfast and watched a movie. You were still completely out of it so I thought I'd let you sleep in." He paused, trying to read the expression on her face. "I hope that was ok. I know that it probably doesn't follow along with our terms of taking things slow, but I was thinking the extra sleep would do you good since you mentioned not feeling very well yesterday and I…"

"Matt," Gabby said, cutting him off. She gave him a sleepy smile and reached for his hand, "it was definitely ok."

"What the…" Matt removed his seat belt and jumped out of Gabby's car before she even put it in park. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," he bit out as he got close enough to confirm what he was afraid of.

Someone had slashed his tires.

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