Thoughts: Kiss or Kill
Disclaimer: If Mai-HiME was mine, I might've given a certain someone a yuri harem...
The cuts on her hand had completely healed. Of course, if Natsuki had not lost to her temper yesterday, her cuts would have healed even faster. The agent always had a resilient disposition and would heal very quickly.
Rounding a corner, Natsuki huffed. She could feel the wind hitting against her helmet. Orange-brown pools lowered its glance to the skirt that was quivering in the wind, threatening to fling up. It wasn't really an issue because she was wearing close-fitting shorts underneath, but nonetheless she didn't want to give her fellow drivers a free show.
Her thighs tightened its clench on the leather seats.
She truly wanted to wear her leather race suit but knew to wait until she became used to the campus. The last thing she needed was MORE gawking school girls who ogled at her like some space alien.
Especially that woman! Agh, I can already see her trying to make fun of me again!
An involuntary blush crept up her cheeks, and the young agent huffed again. She shook her head to focus on the road. She signaled to cut into the right lane, since she was nearing the exit. She checked her side mirror and saw a red sedan in the lane she wanted to be in. It seemed to slow down, a gesture that the car was letting her through.
Maneuvering into her desired lane, she glanced back at her side mirror again. Her mind drifted back to a certain young woman with ruby eyes and a teasing demeanor.
"Why, Nina-chan! After all we've done… Nina-chan ikezu!" Shizuru faked a pout.
Natsuki was attacked by another blush.
"We… Have... Not… DONE… ANYTHING!"
She remembered herself saying.
Really! The nerve of that woman... grrr!
Seriously, ever since she had met Shizuru, it had been nothing but one emotional landslide after another. The young agent knew she shouldn't be played by the older girl's words, but she couldn't help it. Shizuru knew just the right buttons to push, and she always pushed the ones that brought the most reaction out of the younger girl.
Natsuki sighed, trying to pay attention to the blue-hologram that was being displayed by her contacts. The last thing she needed was getting lost on her way to school.
"... why won't Nina let me go with her?"
No, she wasn't particularly against Shizuru riding with her. Though, Natsuki couldn't help the morbid thought that always swam in her mind if she, herself, happened to crash one day. And when she replaced her own image with Shizuru's—Natsuki shook the thought away.
It was why Natsuki had refused the young woman. While she had the reflexes in the actual case of a crash, she doubted Shizuru had any.
Suddenly, memories of Shizuru's fainting spell from a while back—and everything else that happened afterwards—drifted into her.
She felt herself growling.
No! Stop thinking about her already! Argh! Why is she always on my mind...?
Natsuki admitted; Shizuru's safety... Shizuru's well-being mattered to her.
While the young girl could've chalked it up as 'sisterly feelings' that Nina would've felt for her sister, she knew that that wasn't entirely the case. Though she was largely still vexed by that ruby-eyed woman, a part of her felt joy—joy from being close to someone.
In her whole life as an agent, Natsuki considered the closest things to her were her guns. After that it would've been Okuzaki Akira... and mayyybee Sakomizu. However, they were her co-workers. She never had any family—let alone people she could speak to without having to act stiff and professional.
However, Shizuru was different.
Even if the older girl's actions were really towards 'Nina' and not 'Natsuki', she felt oddly happy. Happiness. It was again a thing she did not entirely comprehend.
Her mind wandered again to the memory of this morning.
"Don't EVER do that again, Shizuru! I thought I was going to die!"
Thought I was going to die, huh?
...And since when did I care about dying?
Her hands clenched onto the handle bars. She motioned her vehicle to speed up. The roaring engine reverberated in her eardrums. But she couldn't go that fast, regardless of the speed limit.
I've never been afraid. Missions. That's all they were: objectives to be completed. I never even considered dying... but there I was saying I was afraid of a simple hug?
The young agent scoffed; a puff of air bounced up and against her visor, fogging it briefly.
She then remembered the reluctance and the hint of sadness on Shizuru's face. It had gone away as quickly as it had appeared, but it was a memory that scarred her mind.
The agent felt guilt tug at her cuffs. She let out another puff of air.
...Well, in any case, I'm not letting her ride with me until she at least gets her own helmet.
'Nina' silently conceded.
x – x – x – x
Sounds of feminine chatter filled the air and grew louder as her vehicle neared the campus. A few commuting students gave brief glances at her Ducati as the young agent drove by. Slowing down, she entered one of Garderobe's designated parking lots.
Quickly parking, lithe hands turned off the ignition, while her foot hooked onto the kickstand with practiced ease. Raising her arms, she slowly pulled off her helmet. The small bits of condensation that had built up on her features were swiftly met with the chilly morning atmosphere, evaporating away in mere seconds. Slender fingers then brushed through silky, blueberry locks as she took in a deep breath. There was a clink as her tresses had briefly caught onto a certain necklace.
Natsuki let out an audible sigh.
Swinging off as gracefully as she could, the blue haired girl dipped the keys into her satchel. The article dangling on her neck juggled against the movements.
This time, her features turned into a small frown.
Well, better now than never...
Steeling her determination, orange pool locked onto their destination. With each footfall, the young girl braced herself for the incoming onslaught of yacking girls, questioning gazes, and jealous/admiring remarks.
Then, out of the corner of eye, the agent saw something running towards her.
An... ant?
She shook her head. Now the said figure was waving enthusiastically at her, and she discerned a young blonde girl being dragged along with the ant-girl.
Natsuki squinted.
... is... is that Erstin...?
"Hey! Hey! Hey!" The girl with brown braids hollered as she waved wildly with one hand; her other still dragging a very troubled blonde as they ran towards the agent at neck-breaking speed.
Screeching to a halt in front of a stunned blue-haired girl, the brown-haired girl saluted her upperclassman. "Hello~ Good day to you!"
Natsuki raised an eyebrow and glanced over to the panting Erstin. Her 'younger sister' had a hand delicately over her chest, bending over, trying to catch her breath.
"Hah... Hah... G-good day, Nina-on-onee... sama..." The younger girl greeted breathlessly. Ever polite, Erstin made sure to bend into a small bow.
"Good morning, Erstin..." Natsuki replied cordially in English. She glanced over at the excited ant-girl. "And this is...?"
Taking that as her cue, the girl replied with a bounce. "Arika Sayers, Lady Nina! Nice to meet cha~!"
Natsuki mused that the teachers must be having a hard time 'reforming' someone like Arika.
"Nice to meet you, too. But there's no need to address me with a 'Lady'." 'Nina' said politely.
The braided girl scrunched her face in confusion. "Eh? But aren't you our vice president now?" She looked over to her blonde friend, slightly nudging her.
Oh yeah... I forgot about that part.
"W-well yes. But t-technically it won't be made official until the president turns in the registration forms." Erstin said nervously.
She looked up to 'Nina' and felt very small. Erstin was always shy around new people, and though it had been a couple of weeks, she still felt wary in front of her 'older sister'.
Suddenly remembering a detail, she voiced, "Oh! But don't worry, onee-sama! The student council won't have you do any work until you are more used to the school."
"Oh. Is that so? That's good then." Natsuki finished stiffly, still unsure of how to act in front of her 'younger sister'.
Arika glanced at the two briefly, wondering why they were acting like robots.
"Well, anyhow~ it's great to see the VP position finally filled. I swear it's been like gathering dust for centuries!" Arika interjected brightly.
The three began walking in the main campus road. Whenever Arika felt like it was too quiet, she would try to liven up the conversation. With that, Erstin and 'Nina' were able to slowly fall into a comfortable exchange.
"... but yeah, I mean some of us are sticklers to the tradition. But most of us don't care anymore." Arika voiced.
"So no one is really opposed to this?" Natsuki stole a quick glance down to the necklace that was hidden beneath her uniform.
"Yup! We still respect the history and everything though... I mean it's soooo romantic~ right Erstin?" Arika nudged the blonde again, sensing her friend had become silent again.
"Yes. I don't think onee-sama needs to be too worried." Erstin replied softly.
The ant girl's brows furrowed in confusion. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask... but what's with the oh-knee-salmon thing? Is that some kind of nickname?"
There was a silence before it was broken by none other than Natsuki.
"It just means 'sister' in Japanese." Natsuki chuckled softly. Orange-pools landed on the girl next to Arika; Erstin was flushing.
"But isn't that kind of long? Lady Nina... well minus the 'lady' and just like 'Nina' is a lot shorter." Arika said.
Taking this as a chance to get closer to Erstin, Natsuki added. "Yeah. Um, Erstin. Why don't you just call me 'Nina' from now on... at least while we're at school?"
"O-okay. L-lady Nina."
"Without the 'lady'." Arika scolded.
"U-um... N-nina."
"Good." The ant-girl said proudly. Natsuki was amused by the actions between the two.
Turning her head, Arika continued. "So, yeah. Anyways. You guys are sisters, right? So, it'd be actually wrong if Lady Shizuru didn't choose you as her soeur."
"Sisters, huh?" The blue-haired girl muttered.
"What was that?" Arika said. Both girls looked questionably at 'Nina'. The older girl quickly waved it off.
"N-no. It's nothing."
The three continued their idle chatter until it was time for them go their separate ways to class. And as Arika had said, Natsuki observed that besides the curious glances—mostly due to her transfer student status plus vice president standing—no one paid particular attention to her.
Natsuki let out a sigh of relief; it was good that she didn't have to brace for crowds of school girls questioning her about 'taboos' and 'forbidden love'. The agent mused that the crowd surrounding Shizuru yesterday must've been just her fan club. It certainly seemed like the president would have one.
x – x – x – x
Natsuki sighed.
She had an inkling that that's all she had been doing since the morning. The bell rung moments ago, signaling lunch time. However, the school grounds were fairly empty; most students chose to eat at the cafeteria or in their classrooms as it was still chilly.
The young girl let out an involuntary shudder in the midst of a passing breeze.
Natsuki wasn't ready for fraternizing with her fellow classmates yet, so she had opted to explore the campus instead. But now, part of her was regretting it; it was really freaking cold.
Raising a slender hand, she gently rubbed the opposing arm. Orange irises focused on the white puffs of air that she soundlessly let out.
Walking into a narrower pathway, she gazed at the tall trees that bordered the concrete road. Kicking a stray pebble, she contemplated.
So far it had been a good morning. Though, that ant-girl... Arika, was it? Though it was weird at first, she came to know one of Erstin's friends. She also felt as if she got closer to the young blonde. There were no major benefits to befriending her 'sisters', but Natsuki wanted to act her part.
"Nina…being familiar with another isn't taking away honorifics; it's allowing others to enter…," Shizuru lightly placed a finger on her chest, "your heart."
The young agent agreed with her words.
But it's not that simple...
Her brows dipped as she lowered her head. Carefully pulling out her necklace, Natsuki gently lifted the item with her hand. Her thumb brushed idly across the surface of the gem; it sparkled a silvery blue against the sunlight.
...?
She felt two small indentations. She had not noticed it before. The blue haired girl pondered if it was part of the des—
The agent stiffened, sensing someone behind her.
She quickly considered her options. She was at a highly secured school, so the chances of her attacker being a professional were low. On the other hand, it was highly likely that her 'attacker' was a student—maybe one of Shizuru's fangirls or someone similar... someone weak at least.
Or, that was what she had hoped for until she was pulled by supple limbs into an embrace from behind. Instantly, she knew who her 'assailant' was.
Sh-shizuru!
Swiftly the scent of tea floated into her nose. Her uniform became wrinkled from the contact. Natsuki let out a gasp of surprise, her hand barely holding onto her satchel.
"Wha-wha—Shi-shizuru!"
Natsuki turned her head slightly and was met with mirthful ruby eyes that glanced back at her.
"Ara, what is Nina doing at lunch by herself, I wonder." The older girl teased.
Shizuru's grip seemed to relent by a fraction, and the younger girl used that to wiggle free. Escaping, she turned and replied, miffed.
"I could say the same to you."
The girl with brown tresses raised a brow. "Oh, is Nina curious about my whereabouts?"
'Nina' huffed. "Never mind, forget that I asked."
Pivoting on her heals, she started walking away. It wasn't even two steps before her ears perked to the sounds of sniffling.
Surprised, she turned around and was met with a Shizuru who was hiding her features behind her hands; the sleeves pulled over them. The action was oddly cute and childlike; Natsuki immediately felt her stomach flip at the sight.
"O-oi!" Her hands hovered experimentally in the air, unsure what to do.
Though the sight of a whining Shizuru strangely soothed her heart, Natsuki confessed that she had never made a woman cry before. Until now. She almost panicked.
Almost.
That was when she perceived the end to the sniffling and the replacement of lips curved into a teasing smile. Setting her arms back to her sides, Shizuru's demeanor was playful.
"Ara, so my soeur does care." Cocking her head slightly, she placed a finger on her cheek. Shizuru pondered out loud. "Fufu, but it's not good for my little Nina to be so gullible. If it were anyone else you would've been taken away by now."
'Nina' didn't want to wonder where 'away' would've meant in Shizuru's circumstances.
Sensing she lost in the battle of wits once again, the younger girl let out an involuntary pout, puffing her cheeks. Of course, this was also fueled by her remaining anger from yesterday, though the reason as to why she was angry now escaped her.
Seeing this, Shizuru's features softened.
"So, how has your day been thus far, Nina?" She asked softly, rolling the syllables of her soeur's name melodically.
"Fine." Natsuki answered curtly.
"No one has been bothering you?"
"No." Another short retort.
Orange pools darted to the ground when they noticed the older girl appeared saddened by the terse replies. Guilt tugged at her cuffs again. 'Nina' looked up and asked.
"Wha-what about you? How has your day been?"
With this, her smile slowly reappeared. Natsuki inwardly sighed a breath of relief.
"My day has been well... though I could have used a little more excit—" Shizuru sneezed.
Chocolate irises widened in surprise. The agent hurriedly stepped towards the older girl. Placing a hand on the older girl's upper arm, she asked. "H-hey, are you okay?"
The memory of the fainting spell returned like prickling needles.
"It's just a bit cold...," crimson pools glittered mirthfully, "ara, I might require Nina's bodily warmth to mend this."
Disregarding the latter comment, Natsuki scolded softly. "Ba-baka. Why are you out here then?"
Ruby globes stared into her own. The agent swallowed. Her throat felt dry under the intense gaze.
"... That is because I wanted to see how Nina was doing... I'll have Nina know that I had to search through all her classes and the cafeteria." Shizuru finished chidingly.
The agent's head dipped in response, and she muttered a quick apology. Her hand felt warm, and she realized it was still on the other girl's upper arm. She quickly removed the appendage.
"W-well anyways. Let's go back in."
At this time, Shizuru puffed her cheeks and let her eyes gleam with a mix of cute and sad.
Stunned into place again, Natsuki felt her heart jump at the sight.
There's no winning with this woman...
"F-fine," she heard herself mumble.
Taking the initiative, she slipped a slender arm around the crook of the brown-haired girl's elbow. Their uniforms glided smoothly against one another.
An awkward silence.
Shizuru had not expect 'Nina's' actions. Breaking out of her reverie, the president tightened her grasp on the girl's arm. She saw out of the corner of her eyes a rapidly flushing younger girl.
Chuckling, she suggested. "Fufu, then we must hurry. Nina hasn't taken lunch yet, no? The cafeteria will close if we dawdle."
"B-baka! You're too close."
"Oh, but I'm so cold. Surely Nina won't be as cruel as to make me endure this."
Sighing for the millionth time that day, 'Nina'... no, Natsuki conceded.
x – x – x – x
And that was how her week flew by. Besides the curious queries every now and then, she was mostly left alone. During her free minutes, she walked around campus and became slowly familiar with the area.
However, in the midst of her flourishing school life, there was one thing that never left her mind: her mission. Natsuki knew she could not idle for long.
After all... failure was not an option.
A/N:So, here's to the official 'I'm back' chapter. Hopefully, the writing was acceptable. I've attempted personification in this chapter, and I'll be testing out various styles for the next chapters. My sentences are still clunky, and I'm working on that.
By the way, I try to reply to all reviews, but since I can't reply to Guests, I'll have to reply here.
To the people who say this is slow, we're just barely getting started. That's all the hints I'm giving. Give Natsuki time to adapt to her surroundings before she goes guns blazing. I'll omit anything about Shizuru for now.
To the person who wants Natsuki to get shot—and then get her wounds tended by Shizuru... I'll just give you a smiley face.
To those who feel like I'll never be able to finish this series, I do agree this is a huge project. However, I did say I was resolved to finish this. All I need is your encouragement, which many of you have given me. Really, I thank you all! Right now you're wondering if you're one of them... you are.
Another FYI, I keep daily updates on the story's progress in my profile. I'm about fifty percent done with this story at the moment. Okay, I apologize for the long note!
Please review your thoughts! Until next time!