Chapter 21 – Visiting Walter

Wanda's face was bright and animated as she spoke and worked the dough. I sat near, on a stool by the fire, it was hot but I didn't mind much, I felt I needed to be near her in case Kyle got any ideas.

As she finished speaking she gently placed the bread in the oven and turned to the group, her silvery eyes glinting.

"Geoffrey?" She nodded and smiled.

"Could you tell us more about the healing?" He asked.

She smiled sadly. "I don't really know anything about healing. I never went to a Healer after … after I first got here," she looked down awkwardly. "I haven't been sick. All I know is that we wouldn't choose a planet unless we were able to maintain the host bodies perfectly," she opened the oven and carefully took out a batch of fresh, hot rolls. "There's nothing that can't be healed, from a simple cut, a broken bone, to a disease. Old age is the only cause of death now. Even healthy human bodies were only designed to last for so long. And there are accidents too, I guess, though those don't happen as often with the souls. We're cautious."

"Armed humans aren't just an accident," someone muttered. My head snapped over to see Paige nudge Andy disapprovingly; it was his first time listening to Wanda's classes.

"Yes, that's true," she said as she moved the bread, her back to the audience.

"So you don't know what they use to cure diseases, then?" Geoffrey spoke again. "What's in their medications?"

I stiffened. Geoffrey sat on the edge of his seat, his eyes big and hopeful, desperate.

Wanda shook her head and turned to the group. "I'm sorry, I don't know. It wasn't something I was interested in, back when I had access to the information. I'm afraid I took it for granted. Good health is simply a given on every planet I've lived on."

Geoffrey's face turned an angry shade of red and he turned his head to the ground, brows furrowed as Heath patted his arm sadly. The kitchen fell silent. I felt the tension settle on top of us like a heavy weight. Wanda looked confused and upset, eyes opened slightly and her eyebrows turned in, she tried to hide it by turning back to the table and getting more flour.

"Uh – about the Vultures … " I tried to break the awkwardness for her, my mind scrambled for something to say. "I don't know if I missed this part sometime, but I don't remember you ever explaining about them being 'unkind'?"

She nodded and started to explain, the bright note to her voice faded slightly. I wasn't really paying a lot of attention, my mind wandered out of the cave, through the corridor and to the makeshift hospital where Walter's frail body lay on a cot. When I looked around the room I could see a few people with glassy, out of focus eyes. I let out a silent sigh.

Jamie and I seemed to be the only people who came up with questions that evening. Eventually we run out of things to say.

'Well, we've got an early one tomorrow, tearing down the stalks…" Jeb said to the sad, silent room.

People rose from their seats after Jeb spoke, as though permission to leave was given. They wandered out sombrely, some spoke to one another is hushed murmurs.

"What did I say?" Wanda whispered in my ear.

"Nothing," I said, sighing. "They've got mortality on their minds."

"Where's Walter?" She whispered again in a slightly more severe tone, or at least severe for Wanda.

"He's in the south wing. He's … not doing well."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Things have been … difficult for you lately, so…" I looked at the side of her face, the ragged cut made my stomach knot with anger. I only found out once I had returned from the raid, she pretended nothing was wrong.

She looked away from me and shook her head, dismissing my concern. "What's wrong with him?"

Jamie appeared at her side and took her hand.

"Some of Walter's bones snapped, they're so brittle," I said quietly, my jaw clenched. "Doc's sure its cancer – final stages, he says." My eyes fell to my hands. "Walt must have been keeping quiet about it for a long while now."

"And there is nothing to be done? Nothing at all?" She looked into my eyes.

I shook my head and held her gaze. "Not for us. Even if we weren't stuck here, there would be no help for him now. We never cured that one."

She looked away, thoughtful and sad.

"He's been asking for you," I added. "Well, he says your name sometimes; it's hard to tell what he means – Doc's been keeping him drunk to help with the pain."

"Doc feels real bad about using so much of the alcohol himself," Jamie murmured to her. "Bad timing, all around."

"Can I see him?" Wanda asked. "Or will that make others unhappy?"

I frowned and snorted. "Wouldn't that just be like some people, to get worked up over this?" I shook my head. "Who cares, though, right? If it's Walt's final wish…?"

It felt weird saying the word. Final.

"Right," I could see her eyes turn slightly red and fill up a little. She blinked quickly. "If seeing me is what Walter wants, then I guess it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, or if they get mad."

"Don't worry about that – I'm not going to let anybody harass you." I really meant it, it felt like my job was to protect Wanda, she was so caring and kind, and I wouldn't let anyone hurt her. However this time it was more than just for Wanda, it was for Walter too.

"Is it too late to go tonight?" She spoke again after a few seconds. "Will we disturb him?"

"He's not sleeping regular hours. We can go see." I said.

She darted off in the direction of the tunnel with Jamie still grasping her hand. I walked behind until I caught up and then we all walked in step towards the garden cavern. The only light came from the glow of the moon through the open roof. As we passed Kyle in the middle of our journey he stopped to glare at Wanda with Jamie clinging to her side. I clenched my jaw and took Wanda's free hand. It was warm and rough from hard work and cactus soap but it fitted nicely into mine. Kyle made a gagging sound and turned away. We carried on walking.

Once we were engulfed in the dark tunnel once more I felt Wanda try and free her hand from my grasp. I held it tighter, protectively.

"I wish you wouldn't make him angrier," I heard her mutter.

"Kyle is wrong. Being wrong is a sort of habit with him. He'll take longer than anyone else to get over it, but that doesn't mean we should make allowances for him." I stated.

"He frightens me," she whispered. "I don't want him to have more reasons to hate me."

I squeezed her hand reassuringly. Jamie and I both spoke at the same time.

"Don't be afraid," he said.

"Jeb's made his opinion very clear."

"What do you mean?" She asked in my direction.

"If Kyle can't accept Jeb's rules, then he's no longer welcome here."

"But that's wrong. Kyle belongs here."

'So do you,' a voice whispered in the back of my mind.

I grunted. "He's staying … so he'll just have to learn to deal."

We walked the rest of the corridor in silence. She must have been feeling guilty or something. It bugged me how she defended everyone but herself, even Kyle, who would quite happily kill her. And Jared, who didn't care about her.

As we approached the glow of blue light in the hospital wing we slowed down our pace, our steps became more quiet and gentle. Doc lay sprawled on a cot next to Walter, he snored softly. I could see heavy shadows under his eyes from lack of sleep.

I stepped towards Walter's cot, his eyes searched until they fell on my figure. "Are you up for visitors, Walt?" I asked gently.

He groaned.

Wanda pulled her hand free and leaned closer to Walter's frail form. "Is there anything you need?" She said quietly and stepped towards him. "Is there anything we can do for you? Anything at all?"

He looked all round and then focused on her face. Despite the dullness that hung over them, his eyes seemed to brighten slightly as he looked at her kind eyes and caring smile.

"Finally," he breathed in a shaky voice. "I knew you would come if I waited long enough. Oh, Gladys, I have so much to tell you."

I blinked and frowned before I remembered back when Walter told us once about his family from before the invasion. Wanda stared at him motionlessly for a moment before glancing over her shoulder, where Jamie and I stood.

"Gladys was his wife, she didn't escape," Jamie whispered.

"Gladys," Walter carried on. "Would you believe I went and got cancer? What are the odds, eh? Never took a sick day in my life…" His voice faded out and he moved his lips soundlessly. Weakly he shifted his hand closer to the edge of the cot as though reaching out for Wanda. I nudged her arm towards his.

"What should I do?" She whispered nervously.

"… grandfather lived to be a hundred and one. Nobody ever had cancer in my family, not even the cousins. Didn't your aunt Regan have skin cancer, though?" He waited for an answer. Wanda's eyes turned big. She stood ridged and I could see her nails dig into her hands, the thing she always did without realising it when she was nervous. I prodded her in the back to say something.

"Um…" she murmured.

"Maybe that was Bill's aunt," Walter carried on.

Wanda gave me a quick panicked glance. I shrugged. "Help," she mouthed at me.

I gestured for her to take Walter's frail hand. It was so pale and thin, I was worried it would snap in two, but Wanda was gentle.

"Ah, Gladdie, it's been hard without you. It's a nice place here; you'll like it, even when I'm gone. Plenty of people to talk to – I know how you need to have your conversation…" Although Walter's voice stopped making sound, his lips carried on moving even once his eyes slowly shut.

I picked up a damp cloth that lay in a bucket by Doc's cot and I wiped the sweat from Walter's shining face.

"I'm not good at … at deception," Wanda whispered to me. "I don't want to upset him."

"You don't have to say anything," I reassured. 'He's not lucid enough to care."

"Do I look like her?"

I smiled slightly as the image of a young, freckled lady with bright vivid hair flashed though my mind. "Not a bit – I've seen her picture. Stocky redhead."

She reached for the cloth in my hand. "Here, let me do that." She leaned towards Walter and started to wipe sweat from his neck.

I stood up from where I knelt down before, out of the corner of my eye I saw Doc's tall form move from his cot and appear at my side. His eyebrows were knotted over sleepy eyes and he stretched his arms and neck from sleeping on the hard cot.

"How is he?" He said quietly.

"Delusional," I whispered to him. "Is that the brandy or the pain?"

"More the pain, I would think," he let out a small sigh. "I'd trade my right arm for some morphine."

"Maybe Jared will produce another miracle," I tried to reassure him.

"How are the others?" Doc asked.

"Everyone's a bit shaken up about Walter."

"Understandably," Doc nodded sadly. "Sharon?" Doc added quietly.

"She's … quite sad like the others. We don't talk much though, with Wanda and all," I nodded towards her. "But don't worry, she'll come round."

Doc squinted down at Wanda. "What happened to Wanda's face?" He whispered.

I clenched my jaw said with a tight voice, "More of the same."

Doc breathed out and clicked his tongue.

"How was the class tonight?" He asked.

"Eh," I put a hand through my hair. "Geoffrey kept asking Wanda about the alien medicines and about how they worked but, of course, she doesn't know."

"It would have been convenient if Melanie had been possessed by a healer," Doc said.

I frowned and I saw Wanda's body tense slightly out of the corner of my eye. "We're lucky it was Wanda," I murmured. "No one else –"

"I know," Doc cut me off and smiled sadly. "I guess I should say, it's too bad Wanda didn't have more of an interest in medicine."

"I'm sorry," her voice whispered. She looked down at Walter's thin hand in hers.

I reached my hand out and held her shoulder. "You have nothing to apologise for," I reassured her.

She seemed to calm the slightest and her attention turned to Jamie who lay curled on an empty cot, drifting off to his dreams.

"It's late," Doc said. "Walter's not going anywhere tonight. You should get some sleep."

I nodded. "We'll be back. Let us know what we can bring, for either of you," I promised.

As Wanda gently let go off Walter's hand his eyes opened suddenly. He wheezed as he spoke. "Are you leaving? Do you have to go so soon?" His eyes fixed on her sadly.

She took his hand again. "No, I don't have to leave."

He smiled weakly and closed his eyes once more.

I felt a wave of tiredness wash over me and I let out a sigh.

She looked over to me. "You can go. I don't mind. Take Jamie back to his bed."

I looked at her awkward position half squatted and seated as she crouched next to Walter. "Hold on a sec," I said as I grabbed one of the empty cots and placed it next to Walter's. I then lifted up Wanda and lay her on the cot next to him.

I nodded towards their joined hands. "Do you think you can sleep like that?"

"Yes, I'm sure I can."

"Sleep well, then," I smiled warmly at her.

I then turned to Jamie. "Let's go, kid," I muttered as I lifted him off the cot. He didn't stir as I made my way into the dark tunnel.

As I walked, with only the sounds of our breathing and my footsteps, my thoughts turned back to Wanda. I thought about how it felt to lift her into my arms the same way I held Jamie as I walked the familiar pattern in the inky blackness. She hadn't been heavy, she had fit easily into my arms, it was a first to hold her like that but I didn't think much of it in the moment. There was something about being so close to her though, so that I could feel the rise and fall of her body as she breathed, I could smell the flour from her lessons … I wanted to do it again, it had sent a warm tingling feeling all the way through my body. I shrugged away the silly thoughts and tried to just think about how it would feel to drift off to sleep again, I hadn't been having nightmares for the last few weeks; all my dreams had been wonderful.