Warning: this chapter includes more profanity than usual, somewhat violent images (depending on what you consider violent), and a speech that almost made me cry when I was writing it.

I found myself at Lake Poli. It was strange, since I didn't even remember how I got there. And for some reason, it looked and felt exactly like the night I had been attacked.

"Hello?" I called. Nobody answered. I somehow got the feeling that there would never be an answer.

I heard some rustling in the bushes behind me.

"Who's there?" I asked. There was no response. "Who's there?" I heard the rustling again. The sound seemed to be getting closer.

Suddenly, someone clasped their hand over my mouth.

"Ha," Sebastian said. "I've got you now. And this time, there's no escape." I started to scream, but it was muffled under Sebastian's hand.

The next thing I knew, I was in the dark. I thought I was dead, but once my eyes adjusted to the almost nonexistent light, I saw that I was in my bed.

Thank God, I thought. Just a dream…a nightmare…

I lit the candle next to my bed again, hoping I could see the clock that way. Luckily, I was able to. I sighed upon seeing what time it was: four thirty in the morning. I knew there was no way I'd be able to go back to sleep, especially since I felt well-rested enough. Unfortunately, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be in the house, but I didn't really have anywhere else to go. I eventually decided that I would just go to school.

I got dressed silently, and tried not to make the floor creak with my footsteps as I left the house. The snow was falling lightly, and it was cold. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to keep warm. It was dark outside, but I was able to find my way to the church with little trouble.

However, when I tried to open the door, I heard music. It sounded like a pipe organ, but I couldn't think of anyone in town who knew how to play other than Lara. I didn't think she would be awake at almost five in the morning, even though she used to be a nun. I hesitantly opened the door, and stepped inside.

I had expected the church to be warm, as it usually was during school hours. I quickly figured out that it was because it was too early for anyone to have gone in and started a fire. The only thing I could see clearly was a faint light coming from the corner of the church.

The music suddenly started up again, and I recognized it right away. It was the healing song of the Earthmates. I started to walk slowly toward the light, singing along with the music. The song ended right as I came close to the light, which I realized then was a candle. I quietly finished singing the last line of the song, but to my surprise a male voice joined in. I had never heard a boy with such an amazing voice, except for Dad.

"You have a beautiful voice," I said, even though I didn't know who I was talking to.

"Thank you," Gunie replied, his voice sounding sad. "So do you." I jumped about five feet in the air. And then, I remembered that I was still mad at him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I couldn't sleep," he replied. "I haven't been able to sleep properly for the five days since we…" His voice trailed off. "What are you doing here?"

"I had a nightmare," I said. "And I didn't have anything better to do."

There was an awkward pause.

"I feel like an idiot," he said finally.
"You should," I told him.

"It's all because I don't want to hurt you," he said.

"Then I'd say your actions are completely contradictory," I said.

He stood up, and I was able to see his face in the candlelight.

"I'm serious," he said angrily. I turned away from him, not wanting to see him so angry. "Look at me. Do I look like I'm screwing around?" I turned back to face him.

"No," I replied. "You don't." He sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just…hard. What I'm doing, I mean. What I have to tell you."

"Whatever it is," I said. "You should probably just say it."

He used his arms to brace himself against a pew, as if on the verge of collapse.

"When you read my diary," he said softly. "Did you ever wonder about those little slash marks at the bottom of some pages?"

"Yes," I replied.

"And," he continued, his voice getting louder. "Have you ever wondered why I wear gloves all the time?" He took off his gloves, and threw them to the ground.

"Kind of," I replied.

"What about this?" he asked. His voice was shaking, and I couldn't quite read him. "Have you ever wanted to ask me…" He started to pull back the left sleeve of his shirt. "…Why I wear long sleeves all the time?" He picked up the candle, and held it next to his bare arm.

I gasped as soon as I saw what he was talking about, and my eyes widened in horror as I looked upon the incomprehensible amount of scars, scratches, and cuts.

"Wh-What is that?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"It's the story of my life," he replied angrily. He pointed to a particularly long scar that ran all the way from his wrist to his elbow. "See this? This one's from when I tried to commit suicide when I was thirteen. And these little ones are for all the shitty things I said to you!" He paused, and lifted his shaking index finger to several cuts that seemed to have some sort of shape to them. "And these…these are from five days ago. Those five days ago when I broke your heart!" He turned his arm at a different angle, and I felt my eyes fill with tears when I saw that the cuts were three letters.

"I-Is that…?" I started to ask.

"Yes, god damn it!" he shouted. "It's your name! I did it because I knew that even though you wouldn't love me anymore, I would always have…" He sighed, but he didn't seem calm at all.

"I don't know what to say," I whimpered.

"Damn right you don't know what to say!" he cried. "Nobody knows what to say! Nobody in this godforsaken town even knows what this…this disease does to me!" He paused again, breathing heavily. "I just wanted to protect you. Because I love you. But it's all right if you don't love me." He clenched his fists. "Nobody…nobody in their right mind would want to stay with someone so fucking sick!" With those words, he slammed one of his fists down on the pew, continuing to brace himself against it.

I looked at him, his back hunched, and his body twisted. I thought of the cuts on his arms, and how he must have felt, walking around every day with the burden of feeling sad all the time. And finally, I thought of the drawing in his diary.

"You're still here," he said. He snapped his head in my direction. "Why are you staying? What do you see in me? What do you see when you look at this mess?"

I paused for a second. I had a million things that I saw in him, but I never would have predicted the one that came out first.

"I see a sad boy," I said.

"What?" he asked, turning to fully face me.

"I see a sad boy," I repeated. "A sad, scared, and confused little boy, who doesn't know why that other kid knocked him down. He's apprehensive of everything, since he's small for his age and gets sick a lot. But…he's a beautiful child. He has brown hair, adorable rosy cheeks, and…the most beautiful blue eyes anyone could ever ask for. But those eyes are filled with tears, because that kid who's so much bigger than him decided that he wanted to hurt him for no reason." I paused, seeing that Gunie was staring at me. I continued anyway. "That little boy…he doesn't know what he did to deserve this. He doesn't want to tell his parents, because he's ashamed, and he doesn't want them to feel ashamed. Instead, he puts on a brave face, and keeps his feelings inside. Eventually, this leads to anger, anger like no one's ever felt before. He frowns at people, even though he used to smile at them. He insults people instead of inviting them to play. But behind those narrowed eyes, there are tears that could fill up a pond, or even a lake. He just wants to cry, to tell someone how he feels." I looked up at Gunie again, and rested a hand on his cheek. "So, whenever I look at you, I don't see a freak, or a monster, or anything like that. I see a sad boy who just wants to be loved."

For a few seconds, there was absolute silence. But to my surprise, I felt a tear fall onto my hand. That single tear turned into even more. He slowly fell to his knees, and then curled up on the floor. I quickly went down to comfort him.

He hugged his knees, burying his face in them. I had never heard anyone cry so hard, and for so long. I wanted to cry with him, but I knew that if I started crying, that would upset him even more. So, I brought him into a hug, trying to avoid tears myself.

Finally, he looked up at me.

"You…you m-must think…I'm pathetic," he sobbed.

"No," I replied. "You're not pathetic at all. You were a victim, and that haunts you to this day."

"You understand me," he said, wiping his eyes. He stretched his arms.

"Worn out?" I asked. He nodded. "Crying does that to you. And not sleeping for five days." He slowly started to lie down on the cold church floor.

After only a few minutes, he was asleep. I had to fight to stay awake, but the sound of his relaxed breathing made it all too tempting to sleep. Despite my best efforts, I slowly started to recline next to him, and the next thing I knew, I was out.

"I found them!" Mist's voice exclaimed. My eyes opened, and I quickly realized that I had my arms around him, and he was holding my hand. Also, I had somehow managed to inch way too close to him. I figured it was because he was a good source of heat, but then I remembered that Mist was standing right there.

"Ah!" I cried, quickly sitting up. "I'm so sorr-"

"Oh," Mist said. "No need to apologize. Everyone needs to take a nap every once and a while."

Raguna, Leif, Leona, and Ella came rushing up to us.

"Thank God," Leif said.

"What happened to you?" Raguna asked.

"It's kind of a long story," I replied.

"I know!" Ella exclaimed. "You were getting all kissy face, so you wanted to be alone!"

"No!" I cried. "It wasn't like that at all!"

"Gunie," Leona said, pushing him softly with her foot. "It's time to wake up." He groaned, and rolled over.

"Five more minutes," he muttered.

"No," Leif said. "Now."

Upon hearing those words, Gunie opened his eyes. He sat up slowly, but when he saw his entire family standing over him, he snapped out of it.

"Oh crap," he said quietly.

"'Oh crap' is right," Leona said. "What were you doing?"

"I woke up at three in the morning and decided to come here," he replied.

"And I had the same thoughts," I said. "Except at four thirty in the morning."

"We just talked," Gunie continued. "I swear. Nothing happened that you're thinking of! I was just worn out, because I hadn't been sleeping well, and then I was crying, and-"

"You cried?!" Raguna, Leif, Leona, Ella, and even Mist asked.

"Um, yeah," Gunie replied.

For a few seconds, there was silence.

"Well," Raguna said finally. "It seems to me that there was no harm done."

"And we're fully clothed," I blurted out. I blushed, realizing what an awkward statement that was.

"Anyway," Leona said. "Next time you want to sleep, make sure you're in separate rooms, and not in public." She paused. "School starts in an hour, so if you want, you can come home and eat."

They all started to leave, and once they were gone, Gunie sat up and stretched his arms.

"That was…uncomfortable," he said.

"Sleeping on the floor?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm starting to feel it too."

"No," he said. "Having my entire family walk in on us sleeping together." He paused. "I mean, no!" I laughed.

"Come on," I said, standing up. "Let's go back home." He stood up as well, and we left the church.

He reached for my hand, and I took it.

"So you really don't think I'm sick?" he asked.

"No," I replied. "But you should really stop. The last thing I want is for you to hurt yourself."

"Then I won't do it anymore," he said quietly.

I stopped walking, and stepped in front of him. I put my hands on his shoulders, and looked him straight in the eyes.

"You've got to promise me," I said. "That no matter what happens, you're not going to do that."

"I promise," he said. I hugged him tightly.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you, too," he replied.

We walked together back to the house, and I thought about his promise to me. Even though I knew promises were easily broken, I felt as though that one wouldn't be.

Yay! A long chapter, finally!

Exams this week, and then break! 8D

Just for the sake of being interesting, here's a short story:

When I was working with my therapist on Saturday, I had to practice this thing called resourcing, which is supposed to help me feel calm when I feel really angry. It involves picking a time where I was really happy and felt calm, and thinking about it. I picked writing this story. Somehow, my mind flipped to Arianna's not-yet-written speech. And this is where it gets weird: sometimes, with the resourcing, you hear music. When I started thinking of that scene, I heard music, and I was trying to recognize it. But I couldn't! Without even trying to, I came up with a piece of music that (if there was a soundtrack to this story) would be in that scene! It was really weird, but really awesome at the same time.

So yeah. That's my story.