I know it's been almost a month. I'm sorry. Blame writer's block. And thank The Swan Princess movie because that's what cured it. Haha.
Graduation and stuff is coming up. So I don't know how long it'll be before I post again. But I'm going to try and not exceed a month.
Also, please leave nice reviews. Today has been a very bad, drama-filled day. :/
"I wish we weren't in pairs. This is not working out well at all," Nikolai mumbled next to me.
Well. Excuseeee me for being a dumb ass.
We were playing a game in math; two people from separate groups faced off and it was kind of like a mini tournament. The pair that won would receive ten extra credit points to their lowest grade.
Of course, Nikolai was hounding me and desperate to win even though I'm pretty sure his grade was surpassing one hundred with the bonus question Alice puts on all of her tests. Still, the little bitch was screaming at me whenever I stood up at the white board, alongside my opponent.
"I'm sorry I'm not Einstein's fucking kid, Nikolai," I muttered coolly in response.
"Yes, if you were, I would lose faith in humanity."
…ooh. Fucker.
"Ok. So, now it's Nikolai and Jamal," Alice said at the front of the class. I stopped glaring at smart fuck next to me and relaxed upon meeting Alice's eyes. She walked over at the same time that Nikolai left the seat next to me and she sat on top of the desk, her scent flowing down towards me. Mm. Perfect.
"How bad is it?" She asked quietly, keeping her gaze on the two students, who were copying the next equation off of the projector.
"Terrible. I think he would rather have a caveman as his partner."
Alice giggled next to me, dropping her head slightly and then slid her vibrant eyes over to me.
"Oh, wow," she replied, chuckling softly. She looked me over again, since I was wearing her sweatshirt today and it might've been a big step since we had been on rocky ground lately but the small smile that slid onto her lips after she turned her head assured me it was fine. She focused her attention back on Nikolai and Jamal. "You're not unintelligent, Bella. In fact, the last test, you got an A on." She looked at the equation, glancing at the ones on the board and then the one on the projector. "Jamal, double check that."
"Aw, come on, Ms. Brandon."
"Ten extra points, honey," she reminded him.
Begrudgingly, he glanced off to the side, noticed the mistake and fixed it hurriedly, at the wishes of his teammates. I don't get why everyone was taking this so seriously. It was just a stupid math game.
"All right," Alice said slowly, double-checking the equations. "Go!"
I could hear the sound of the dry erase markers moving quickly and somewhat clumsily against the board but I kept my attention focused on Alice instead. After a moment, I saw a small shake in her head and finally, her eyes slid over to me.
"Shouldn't you be cheering on your partner?"
"Pssft!" I slumped in my chair, putting my feet up on the desk behind me so that I was turned around, my back to Nikolai and all of my attention on Alice. I saw her gaze take note of my lifted feet but she didn't say anything even though the rules in the handbook clearly state that we shouldn't do this.
Alice looked so fucking sexy today. She had on tight, skinny jeans with some black heels and a white wife-beater on with a black blazer. As she leaned forward, focusing on the students in front of her, the two necklaces she had on that accentuated her outfit even more clinked together. Sure, they were pretty but it wasn't much of a distraction away from the delicious cleavage I could see.
Mhm. Nice.
"Done!" Jamal said from the front of the class, snapping me out of it. I raised my gaze to Alice's face, which was now smiling as she clapped her hands together.
"Good! Great job, honey. Nikolai, are you—"
"—shh!" He rudely interrupted her. I could hear the marker practically beating against the board and I turned awkwardly in my seat to watch him. Whoa. He looked…absolutely mad. Dude needs to calm the fuck down. It's just a game.
"Ok. I have finished. Who's correct?" Nikolai said quickly while he tossed the marker onto Alice's desk.
I watched her lower her head to look over the answers on her notebook and as her eyes scanned over them, she bit her bottom lip. Mm. I love it when she does that. She looks so damn cute.
"Ok," she muttered, raised her head and looked over the two answers again. "Sorry, Jamal. Even though you finished first, you got it wrong. And I see when you got confused, honey." She rose from the seat, walked past me—making her scent practically pounce on me—and then stood next to Jamal. She spoke softly, so as to keep their conversation somewhat private and her index finger moved swiftly along the equation, stopping finally in the middle. She then looked towards him, very close actually and spoke animatedly. He nodded several times, his afro bouncing on top of his head and I smiled because I knew he was not actually listening. If I was as close to her right now as he is to her, I wouldn't be thinking about a stupid math problem either. It's funny how boys let their hormones take over their entire life, without so much as a pitiful fight.
Alice patted his shoulder, then walked back towards me and picked up her notebook. She turned slowly, looking over all of her writings once again and leaned against the desk. "Ok. Nikolai's team won."
Nikolai's team? Fail. We should've come up with a cool name or something. Like…Asian Persuasion like I did one year.
I felt a pair of hot hands on my shoulder and a nasally kind of laugh and judging by the look on Alice's face, it was my partner. Fantastic.
"We won!" Nikolai exclaimed happily while I turned in my seat to face him. I sarcastically smiled towards him and raised my hand to give him a high five.
"Awesome!" I replied mockingly and as he lifted his hand to high five me, I lowered it and then shrugged. "Too slow. You should write an equation to figure out the speed and velocity you would have to have to meet my hand."
"Very funny," he muttered, glaring at me for a moment behind his big, black rimmed glasses. He looked away to shuffle for his books since the bell was about to ring and momentarily, I felt kind of bad for making fun of him. "If I hadn't worked so hard, we wouldn't have won, stupid."
Wow. That's one of the quickest fleeting feelings I've ever had.
"You're so sweet, Nikolai."
He childishly stuck his tongue out just as the bell rang and stalked off, struggling with the weight of his backpack. I giggled to myself and then upon hearing Alice's heels a little ways behind me, I quieted and looked over my shoulder.
"You did a good job in class today, honey," she said sweetly to me. The impersonal tone was gone completely, as if it had never even existed. Thank God.
I smiled widely, and then realized that that probably seemed childish and quickly erased the jubilant expression off my face. I retrieved my books from beneath my desk and as the noise outside in the hallways resembled a low rumble, the easy silence in the classroom between the two of us comforted me more than I could ever expect.
"I uh," I started and even though I knew that I would probably be late for aiding, I didn't care. I've finally gotten my Alice back. Everyone else can just disappear. "I met your father yesterday."
She bent down to pick up some paper and as she straightened up, she noticed the desks and then shifted one to the left a little. The tiny grunt she did while she moved it did not go unnoticed by me and awakened that tiny familiar throb. Here I was making fun of the boys for letting their hormones run wild and she can't even make a tiny noise without making me want to jump her? "You did?" She walked to the side of her desk, tossed the paper into the trashcan and then pulled herself up onto the top of her desk, crossing her legs at once. "Did you like him?"
I nodded. "Yeah. He seems really laid-back and cool."
She scoffed. "Yeah, well, not if you get into trouble."
I smiled at the thought of Alice being a rebellious teenager. I wonder if she would've dressed in all black and snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. Or if she appeared quite normal and the rebellious tendencies shocked her adoptive parents?
I didn't say anything in response and looked up to meet her eyes. She was biting her bottom lip and yet, her lips stretched into a cute smile.
"You should probably get going, honey."
No. I want to stay right here. We're back to normal. I want as much as I can get in the small time we have together everyday. I've missed you for too long. "Yeah," I mumbled, more to myself as I kept my gaze on her beautiful face, smiling right back at me.
"Tardy checks, remember?" She said quietly, as if she didn't want me to hear. As if she wanted me to stay right here with her as well.
Wait. "What? Tardy checks? Shit!" I scrambled along out of the door, hearing her laughter ring and alert my body even more. The halls were almost deserted by now and surely, I wouldn't be able to make it to class but I don't care. Those few extra seconds with her were worth the detention.
"Hey," I said as soon as I entered Alice's classroom again during aiding. There was a substitute in Mr. Hurt's class today so I just told her my name, asked her if I could come to Alice's classroom since I "needed help with some math homework" and the stupid woman wrote me a pass. The ignorance of substitutes is such a gift.
One time my junior year, they were taking club pictures for the yearbook. In the last period of the day, my English class with Mike and Angela, Angela had lied to the substitute, saying that there was a junior picture we needed to take and we took it twenty minutes before the bell rang. Of course, everyone else joined in except for Mike because he's a pussy. So, twenty minutes before school let out, she dismissed us and we ditched class, giggling the whole way. Mike had begrudgingly gotten to his feet and walked with us but only after Angela threatened him, saying that if he told the sub the truth, she would rip his balls off.
Angela might've been the reason for the loss of my innocence a little bit. During our sophomore year, in Spanish class, we had skipped the last ten minutes of class. The teacher caught us and threatened to write us up but Angela thought up a story on the spot. "I noticed that Bella was gone, Ms. Chavez. You were busy helping a few students and since Bella and I are always close monthly, I assumed that hers had started so I took my bag and went to check on her in the bathroom. After she was done and situated, the bell rang so I didn't see the point to come back and tell you."
I don't know how in the hell someone could make up that much bullshit on the spot, but she always has been able to. It's one of the qualities she has that amazes me the most.
I just wish that I could have that ability sometimes. As I looked in and saw Edward writing on the board behind Alice, I wanted some story as to the reason I came because Edward is far too observant.
Alice looked up, met my eyes and smiled. "Hey, Bella. Did you get to class on time?"
I shook my head and met Edward's dark gaze for a moment, which flickered down to Alice's sweatshirt, then faltered for a moment with recognition. He narrowed his eyes, hesitated and then turned his attention back to the board. "Nope. I got detention," I replied, focusing back onto Alice. I sat on top of my desk in front of hers and watched Edward draw an 'X' on the tic tac toe game he drew on the board.
"Your turn, sis."
She swiveled around in her chair, pondered her answer for a moment and then reached forward to draw it.
"Stop," Edward said, startling me. "I already know what you're going to put and that's not going to work."
"What? Why not?" Alice retorted back. "And how do you even know?"
"You're easy to read. In fact, your face is so easy to read that I can pretty much hear your thoughts, Alice. And no, putting the 'O' there," he pointed to the upper right hand corner. "Will not work."
She furrowed her brow and seemed to be pondering another strategy. I watched Edward shake his head again.
"I quit," Alice said softly and handed the marker back to Edward. "I know what moves you're going to do as well. You're easy to predict."
"You're easy to read."
"Then I guess we're screwed." Alice looked up towards me and shook her head. "He and I have never been able to play that well together. He cheats."
I saw Edward grit his teeth and knew that he wanted to object but decided against it. Instead, he put the marker down, glared at me for a moment and then moved to sit on the stool beside Alice. He grabbed a phone on the desk and played with it, daring a glance at me every few seconds.
"Anyway," Alice said, grabbing what looked like a key from the corner of her desk and slid over to get a stack of papers. "I'm sorry that you got detention. It's just me, honey. Don't get detention because of me."
Really? Are we actually having this conversation right now? While I'm wearing her sweatshirt? I had to carefully think about my response though since Edward was sitting right there. "Well, since you've been hounding work on us lately, I don't get to talk to you much, you know."
"We can change that, you know," Edward jumped in, looking up from his phone. He even set it on his lap, leaned back in his seat and then proceeded to put his feet on Alice's desk.
What the fuck? Ruuude. First off, this was my conversation with her. Don't eavesdrop. Secondly, your feet are gross and don't need to be on her shit, dude.
"Get your feet off my desk," Alice said evenly, tapping his leg slightly. Edward took a moment to glare at her, then me and slowly, dramatically let his feet down to the ground. He leaned forward in his seat so that the v-cut of his button-down shirt fell slightly, showing me his tight, pale chest.
"Anyway, as I was saying," he said with an attitude towards Alice and then moved his head back to me, looking up at me under dark lashes. "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight, Bella?" Just like everything else from Edward, it was not a question or request, it was a statement.
Wh-Wh-What? No. No.
Alice looked up from grading her papers, glancing at her brother and then looked at me for any hint as to how she should react as well. "Uh…" she said quietly, waiting for my reaction. I was flabbergasted as to the very idea of meeting her entire family and being so open with our friendship.
Even though she and I had never done anything that was inappropriate, the feelings were still there and for some reason, I felt the need to keep them tucked safely away, where no one could possibly detect the truth. Angela obviously, was someone that I couldn't keep away no matter what. Edward seemed to be inching along quite slowly despite my best wishes.
Just walking into her family's house and talking so easily with her seemed to wave a big banner, telling everyone how I felt or what I wished would happen with us. It was ludicrous.
"I-I can't. I have to cook for Charlie."
"I'm sure he'll do fine one night by himself," Edward quickly retaliated, as if he could hear my thoughts, just waiting for me to utter my meek excuse so he could execute it swiftly.
"Yeah, but—"
"I'll pick you up," he interrupted me and cocked his head to the side, piercing through me with those black eyes. I met them and with every ounce of courage I could muster against my biggest fear, I stared him down, hoping that I was sending the message that I hated him effectively. Judging by the smirk on his beautifully ugly face, it wasn't working at all.
"Uh, that's good," Alice's beautiful voice broke through our icy stare, melting from the warmth of her voice. "I have to go to the material center and print out a pop quiz for tomorrow." She stood and picked up two pieces of stapled paper. "Don't tell your classmates please, Bella."
I nodded, avoiding Edward's gaze even when I could feel it blistering on my skin. "I'll walk with you," I muttered to Alice. She held my gaze for a second, seemed to deliberate it within her head and then nodded meekly.
"Edward, can you stay in the room and watch my stuff? Thanks," she finished without waiting for his reply. Normally, I would think that was rude as all hell and find it completely annoying but she did it in such a way that was seen as cute, like everything else about her.
As we walked side by side to the material center, which was a good bit away, I could feel that familiar vibrating energy between us. Did it ever go away?
"Do you want to come to dinner?" she asked very quietly and softly, like a hesitant child. She moved her head to look at me and I met her worried, vulnerable eyes.
"Maybe," I muttered and then looked away because holding her gaze for too long always made it rather hard to breathe and I just couldn't afford that kind of embarrassment right now. "I just met your father yesterday so it may be a little awkward."
"Oh, no. He's very outgoing and if anything, my brother Emmett will make you feel right at home. He won't ever shut up." She paused. "Even if you inflict pain on him," she added with a chuckle and I laughed along next to her.
We continued to walk next to each other in quiet, easy silence as that familiar energy vibrated and accidentally, as we turned a corner, her hand brushed mine. After such a long absence from her touch, I couldn't help the audible gasp that escaped my lips. She slowed her walk and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her flex her hand, then slide into the pocket of her pants.
"Are you okay?"
No. This is hard as fuck to not tell you how I feel or kiss you or hold you. Of course I'm not okay.
"Yeah, I'm good. I just…" What the hell? Think of something! "I thought I saw a rat up ahead and those are just…just disgusting. Sorry. It was a, uh, a reflex."
She held my gaze for a moment longer and for some reason, I could tell that she knew I was lying. She had this almost undetectable gleam within those beautiful swarms of chocolate as she accepted my horrible lie and then turned and started walking again.
"Would it make you feel more comfortable if I picked you up instead of Edward?" She asked softly and even her beautiful, perfect voice couldn't make his name sound bearable.
"Um. My mind faltered for a second and I wondered if I should tell her what happened. Would it rip apart their bond or would she blame me and then side with him? Maybe she wouldn't know what to do and would just ignore both of us? "Yeah, that would make me feel better."
"I'll try and slow down too," she teased and I chuckled next to her. God, this felt so wonderful. We were how we used to be. I could tell she was holding some of herself back a little but at least we were working to get back to how we were.
"Can you slow to my version? Your version is at least thirty miles over the speed limit."
She giggled that beautiful melody I crave. "What's your version?"
"The one that doesn't get us killed?"
Again, she laughed next to me, even moving to touch her stomach as we turned another corner. "I'll think about it. But I would like to arrive at my parent's house sometime this decade," she replied with a smirk. "I don't know why you worry so much, though. Don't you trust me?"
"Ooh," I said. "Don't pull that card and make me feel guilty."
She giggled once more and then told me to wait outside the door. As she opened it and stepped inside, I glanced down to her ass in those skinny jeans.
Mm. Wow.
Why did Edward invite me, though? What trick did he have up his sleeve? He couldn't just want to do it to be nice. No. With Edward, there was always some way for him to gain some advantage or profit.
And what if he asks about her sweatshirt? What bullshit lie can I make with that? Maybe I could talk to Angela since she is the queen of bullshitting.
What if her family doesn't like me? Carlisle seemed okay yesterday even if he looked like he knew something. Did Edward tell him what he did? No, no. I don't think he told anyone. Angela and Hayden are the only other people who know. Does he know they know? Could they get hurt? Even if I broke Hayden's heart and he was a controlling ass near the end of our relationship, that doesn't mean I want him to get hurt.
My thoughts were disrupted when Alice slipped out of the room, her hands now empty. The smile she gave me made all of the horrible, stressful thoughts dissipate into thin air.
"All right. Remember, honey, don't tell any of your classmates about this quiz, okay?"
"Right. No problem."
We started walking together and Alice had her hands submerged in her pockets, I noticed. Did my earlier action freak her out? I sighed softly, berating myself in my head. These were the little things that made her feel uncomfortable and could possibly mess up our relationship. I needed to learn to control my feelings or at least how to better display them.
"What time do you want me to pick you up?" Alice asked as she nudged me to the outer doors. Apparently we were taking a short cut? I didn't really care, as low as she did it again so those tingles could erupt on my arm once more.
"I guess five or so?" I suggested while holding the door open for her.
"Thank you," she replied, smiling softly and ducking her head in a bashful manner. Once I joined her outside, she seemed to make a point to judge the distance between us and then once she was satisfied with it, she inhaled deeply and then walked quicker. Surprisingly, we managed to stay in step together. "Okay. I'll pick you up then, honey." She waved at another senior who was sitting on a bench next to the tennis courts and even at that small gesture, I felt a ripple of jealously but only for an instant.
Was she this close to only me? Or was I just another student? She looked as though she got along with almost everyone at this school and several times, I've seen her laughing with other students, calling them 'honey', and smiling with admiration or appreciation. I suddenly felt so insignificant, wondering if she texted with other students all the time or if she was their rescue as well when they were drunk outside of a club.
"H-Have other students met your family?" I asked timidly, preparing for the worst. Don't shatter my heart, please.
She abruptly stopped, turned towards me and cocked her head, narrowing her eyes upon me. We were standing outside the edge of the building where it was deserted, except for a few empty cars. This was also where the counselors had decided to house their annual plant bonding thing. Every year, they picked a particular spot on the campus and planted a bunch of random things, then every day during lunch, they would take a few minutes out and come out to water them or look them over. It seemed like a good idea but then they failed to take care of the previous spots of flowers so it ended up looking a little tacky. This spot however, was filled with sunflowers, lilies, and roses and so the beautiful scenery along with my object of affection standing in front of me compared to my continuing dissipating self-confidence made me feel as thought I was suffocating.
The adoring look in Alice's eyes that was directed towards me seemed to expand my lungs, though. And for a moment, I had a flicker of déjà vu of that look, but in a much darker room, through lidded eyes. When did she look at me like that in a dim room before?
"Why would you think that?"
I shrugged, already feeling stupid for asking such a thing because obviously I was the first from her tone. "You just look like you get along really well with other students and I assumed that maybe the stuff you do with me, you also do with them."
She shook her head, smiling. "No, honey." She lowered her eyes to her heels, which moved a flower around with her toe. "You're the first student I've had at my apartment, that I've taken to her house, that I've seen a movie with, and that I've given my sweatshirt to."
Mm. Ok. Good. But wait. "So other kids have your number?"
She looked sheepish for a moment and then nodded, meeting my eyes. "Yes." She started to walk once again and after a momentary hesitation, I walked next to her. "I have some students that are going through rough things and just need someone to talk to. So far, I actually had one student call me, sobbing about her family life."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Who was it?"
"Bella," she said with a teasing, disapproving tone. "Come on," she nudged my elbow and I grit my teeth as an alternative to gasping. "You know that I can't tell you that."
"Sorry," I replied and then glanced at her out of the corner of my eyes. Fuck, she was beautiful. "I just, uh, can't help myself."
She tilted her head to meet my eyes and then slowly, her lips parted as we held each other's gaze.
"Curiosity…" I muttered stupidly. And just like that, our moment was over and neither of us spoke about it; instead we just turned away and walked on in silence back to her classroom.
"Hey kiddo," Charlie said over the phone. I could hear him chomping away at chips in the background, even though it was obvious he was trying so hard to cover it up.
"Hey," I said as I grabbed a jacket. "I, uh, just wanted to ask if I could go over to the Cullen's tonight."
I could hear the chips crackling slowly now, instead of the ravenous hunger displayed earlier. "Cullen, Cullen," he muttered into the receiver. "Isn't that the boy you dated?"
I paused, grimacing reflexively at the thought. "Yes, yes. That was Edward Cullen," I replied, sighing throughout his horrible name.
The chomping of the chips stopped altogether. "Wait," he cleared his throat and I could hear some shuffling on the other side of the phone. "Why are you going there? Is this some sort of date with this guy?"
Ew. Gross. First off, anything romantically connected with Edward Cullen is fucking disgusting. Secondly, discussing anything like this no matter who it is about is so unbearably embarrassing.
"No, no," I groaned and tried to sort my thoughts out in such a way that wouldn't confuse or arouse anymore questions from Charlie. After a couple seconds with no ideas, I just sighed heavily and pressed the palm of my hand against my forehead. "He invited me to dinner tonight. It's not a date. In fact, he's my math teacher's brother and she'll be there too so it's a little bit awkward."
"Which teacher is this?"
I thought I just said that. "My math teacher…?"
"What's her name, Bella?"
"Al-Ms. Brandon," I quickly corrected myself. God, when was the last time I called her that? It's as though the idea of her being my teacher never really situated in my brain; she's always just been closer than that.
"Oh, right. I remember you mentioning her," he sighed, muttered something to someone and then cleared his throat once more before continuing. "All right. You can go, I guess. What about din—"
"—I already made you some chicken for burritos. I even sliced up some tomatoes."
He paused on the other side and I could tell that he was slightly embarrassed. I mean, who wouldn't? He's a grown man but his teenage daughter has to cook his meals for him. But I don't mind it; in fact, I love taking care of him.
"Thank you," he mumbled and then paused and I felt awkward, holding the phone to my ear with silence as my companion. Was it just Charlie who did this or did other parents do long, awkward pauses on the phone as well? "Ok, then, I guess I'll see you later."
"All right," I mumbled, then wondered if I should say those three words. Although we had our cheesy moments where we had no problem displaying our care for one another, those words weren't spoken often and were normally uttered during intense, dramatic moments like when I was in the hospital one time for falling off my bike going down a steep hill when I was younger.
"Alrighty. Have fun. Bye, kiddo." He quickly said as if he had been pondering if those words were necessary as well and just took the cowardly way of saying goodbye as quickly as possible. It didn't bother me. Even if he rarely verbalized his feelings, I knew that they were still there.
A honk pulled me out of my thoughts and I raised my head to see Alice's car pull into my driveway. Through the windshield, I could see her lips pull into a wide smile once our eyes met and instantly, I didn't even care that I was going to see Edward in a bit. Who cares? Alice is there.
I got off the swing on the porch, stuffed my cell in my back pocket and walked slowly down towards her so I wouldn't fall like a dumbass. She elegantly got out of her car and I saw that she had changed out of her school clothes and now wore a simple but cute black dress and her customary heels. A feeling of incredible want coursed through my body pathetically and I tried to calm myself down before I spoke to her. I didn't want to utter something stupid like: "Uh…you're hot" and look like an idiot.
"Oh," she said before I could come up with anything witty to say. She pointed a perfectly manicured finger at my chest. "You need to take that off," she ordered politely.
"What? Why?" I pulled on her sweatshirt she had given to me, looking down at it. Were there stains or something? "Do I look bad in it or something?"
She chuckled softly and stepped closer, grabbing idly at the sweatshirt as well. "No, honey. You look great in it. You really don't need to feel self-conscious." My heart fluttered at the multiple comments but before I could let them sink in so I could really bask in the sweetness of them, she continued. "It's just that it's a lot of unnecessary explaining to do when my family sees it."
She raised her eyes pointedly to meet mine and I felt a whisper of vulnerability. It was the closest we had gotten to verbally recognizing how our mildly inappropriate relationship would look to others. Even the hint of it made the muscles in my body tense, as if they were getting ready to reach forward and grasp onto Alice for fear that someone would take her away from me. She couldn't be torn away. I needed her now. I hadn't just grown to like her; no, I needed her.
"Ok, sure," I mumbled and then immediately retracted my arms through the sleeves. Suddenly, I felt a little weird and self-conscious undressing in front of Alice. Even if it was just a sweatshirt, it felt a little intimate given our past actions and my feelings towards her so I turned to lift if over my head. The bottom of my shirt raised a little and so I was glad that I turned because my back dimples are so much more attractive than my stomach, which I've always been hesitant to show.
When I turned to face her again, she had her head slightly bowed and there was a faint blush on her cheeks and after a moment, she raised her eyes to meet mine, and then bit her lip as though she was deliberating on telling me something. Quickly, she took a deep breath and that look passed as she turned towards her car, then faced me and started walking backwards.
"All right. Let's go," she said with a smile.
Their house was huge. Why was this whole family smothered in money?
I wondered if the question was considered rude while Alice opened the car door for me, waiting patiently. I stepped out, thanked her and then stood for a second, just staring at the house.
"Do you like it?" She asked quietly next to me. I could feel her eyes on my face but knew that with how close we were, if I met her gaze, something would go wrong.
Either I wouldn't be able to control myself or I would lose basic motor functions and turn into a blubbering dumb ass.
"It's beautiful," I whispered in amazement as we slowly started walking together.
"Thank you," she replied and I swear, I could hear the smile in her voice. "I helped them pick it out when they moved here."
"When did they move here?"
"Not that long ago. I came first, then the rest of my family and Edward and Rosalie are just visiting. Rosalie has an apartment in New York and Edward is taking a year off to travel around the world."
"What about before?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Edward was at my school when I was a freshman."
"I don't really know since I was at college. But he didn't stay the whole year, did he?"
"Um, nope."
"Then that was probably just a temporary thing. I remember them talking about how small the apartment was while I was in my sophomore year at college. That might've been during that time."
We were approaching her front door now and suddenly, like a tidal wave, worry and anxiety hit me all at once. Edward was going to be here. Carlisle, who looked like he knew something, was going to be here as well. And I didn't know all of these other people. I'm always the one that seems to freeze up around a big group of people I don't know. What the fuck am I doing here?
I felt a tingle spread on my lower back and when I looked over my shoulder, I saw Alice's reassuring smile. Oh, right. That's why I'm here.
Oh fuck. I'm in such deep shit.
Alice led me inside, her hand still placed gently on my lower back and Carlisle was standing in the foyer with a kitchen towel between his wet hands. He looked up, meeting my eyes and smiled brightly. Damn, he was handsome.
His smile flickered for an instant as his gaze lowered to take note of Alice's hand on me and quickly, the tingles were gone and she was a step away from me. My brow furrowed and I glanced over my shoulder to figure out what just happened but suddenly, that familiar voice joined in, disrupting and shaking my world once again.
"Bella!" Edward exclaimed, walking through the beautiful living room towards me. He was wearing slacks, a white button-up and a black, loose tie. He almost looked attractive. That was until my gaze reached his face and it was obvious how fake his smile was. He truly was a remarkable actor. It astounded me how his family could be so oblivious to his true, demonic nature.
"Hello, Edward," I mumbled in response through clenched teeth.
He stepped next to me, laying his cold, shell of a hand upon my shoulders, gripping somewhat tightly but to others, it appeared as just a friendly squeeze. Carlisle seemed to take note of my stiffness and although we barely knew each other, the look he gave to me suggested that maybe he knew how I felt towards Edward and wanted to know why. How could this man already know me so well? And why do I feel so comfortable and safe around him in such a short amount of time?
A beautiful woman around Carlisle's age came around the corner, wearing an apron. Her thick hair was tied up loosely and warmth seemed to radiate off of her with just a smile.
"Hello, there. Are you Bella?" Her voice dripped with kindness towards me—a complete stranger.
"Um. Yes, ma'am. I am," I muttered, already putting on that 'adult' tone that somehow just pops up without thinking.
She crossed the room, opening her arms and on the palms of her hands, I briefly saw some flour caked on. I worried about getting some of it on my shirt but once I was enveloped within her arms, I didn't care. I felt as if I was her daughter. This woman had so much love and care pouring out of her that I almost forgot about Edward and the horrible thing he did. Almost.
Once the woman pulled back, I felt Edward's hand grasp onto my waist in almost a territorial way. Instantly, my mind brought up images of before when he and I were dating and he had latched onto me so many times. My body revolted at the thought and before I could stop it, his face towering above me in the dark room pulsed through my brain. Without thinking, I cringed and the woman in front of me softened her features with worry.
"Are you okay?"
I cleared my throat and brought my hand up to scratch at my forehead. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine." I looked up and tried my best to smile while his hand was on me. "Thank you for inviting me over for dinner, Ms. Cullen."
She shook her head, her thick hair bouncing on the ponytail. "Call me Esme, please and you're welcome. Come on, sweetie. Come see what I made."
I walked ahead, leaving Edward's touch and strolled closely next to Esme to the kitchen. I glanced over my shoulder to see Alice standing near the front door, talking closely and quietly with Carlisle. Even though he didn't appear to be angry, he looked like he was talking about something incredibly important. For some reason, I was worried but after a second, Alice's gaze lifted up to meet mine and she quickly glanced at Carlisle, and then winked at me. Just as I felt a soft touch on my hand, I saw Carlisle's head shake slightly, then dart up to meet my gaze and his forehead creased. As if I had just gotten caught with my hand in the cookie jar, I focused my attention on the task in front of me and realized that Esme was patting my hand every now and then as she explained what we were having for dinner. She had cooked an entire turkey, with mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans and even made some cake with fondant.
When I looked at her to express my shock, she had already seemed to guess what I was going to say or ask and simply shrugged, saying: "I like to take care of people when they come over."
"That's why I'm so big," a voice bellowed coming around the corner. The man that I'd seen Alice with before that was tall, muscular and had dark hair entered the kitchen, smiling and grabbed an apple off the counter before leaning against it.
"No," another voice said. "You're big—" a slender, blonde, beautiful woman entered the kitchen behind Emmett and went straight for a cabinet, opening it up and taking out glasses. "—because you're a work out maniac." She sighed, collected all of the glasses in her hands and then finally looked up to see me.
Words left me at the sight of all of these beautiful people around me and the piercing gaze of this particular woman made me incredibly self-conscious. Without even knowing me or talking to me, I felt like she already made the decision to dislike me. "Hello?" She walked around towards the table filled with food and pots. "Who are you?" She asked without looking at me and she said the rather rude question as sweetly as she could but it still came out a bit harsh.
"Rosalie, this is Bella," Alice answered as she finally entered the kitchen. She stood next to me but a little bit away so that the door to enter and leave the area was still available. "She's one of my students and Edward thought it would be nice to have her over for dinner tonight."
Emmett raised an eyebrow towards his brother before chomping down on the apple. He stared at him for a second longer, deliberating and then shrugged and pushed off the counter.
"Whatever," he mumbled against the apple after shoving it in his mouth once again. He opened another cabinet and pulled out several plates and strolled over to the table where the beautiful woman—Rosalie—was now sitting.
"Sorry we're late but Emmett wanted me to throw him a couple more pitches before we came in and set the table."
Esme gave a pointed look to the boy but I had a feeling that it wasn't that serious. "I'll get ya for that later. When we don't have company," she teased and then looked towards me again, laying a hand on my upper back. "Try and get as much as you can before Emmett eats it all, Bella."
I giggled and nodded. This wasn't going to be as bad as I thought…as long as everyone kept me so busy that I could forget Edward was there.
"So, how hard is her class, Bella?" Emmett asked across the table before stuffing a forkful of potatoes in his mouth. My eyebrows rose in astonishment and then I chuckled before replying.
"Uh," I started and glanced at Alice next to me. She gave me a teasing wary glare to which Esme laughed at at the end of the table. "It's great. She-she makes it easy and fun at the same time."
"Oh, you're such a good suck up," Edward chimed in with across from me. I paused while Alice's and Rosalie's laughter rang in my ears. Although he meant it to be funny, there seemed to be a double meaning in his tone. I met his dark gaze and his eyes narrowed at me, then he straightened up in his seat while his eyebrows rose, as if he was waiting for me to admit something.
I cleared my throat, and then looked away; hoping that maybe if I just ignored him he would go away.
"Edward," Alice started. "Did you know Bella was in your high school when you were a senior?"
His lips flinched with a smile and I glanced at the others, wondering if they noticed.
"Yeah, I know that," he said and judging by his tone, I knew something bad was going to come next. "I actually dated her." He met my eyes and just like that, I felt like I was back in that dirty, dark room on top of the creaking mattress where every ounce of dignity I had was stripped.
"You two dated?" Alice asked and I nodded in response, tearing my eyes away from him. Fuck, I wanted to murder him. I felt like screaming out what a horrible, sick fuck he was right at the dinner table but knew that either they would all hate him afterwards and the family bond would be cut or they wouldn't believe me and all hell would break loose. It would be better to just stay quiet.
"We never saw her around. Why didn't you bring her over?" Esme asked while I heard Emmett chewing loudly on the turkey.
Edward shrugged. "I was going to but something came up every time. I'm sorry." He paused and just when I thought he was done, I heard an intake of breath and stiffened. "Then one day when I was sure that she was going to finally meet you guys, she broke up with me," he sputtered out pathetically as though I had been his whole reason for even living. What the fuck?
Is he seriously pulling this bullshit right now? Nasty little fucker! Of course I broke up with him after what he fucking did. But he makes it sound like I cheated on him or something.
Rosalie set down her wine glass and then shrugged. "At least she's here now."
"Yeah, Edward. Don't get so butt hurt that she broke up with you because you can't do shit," Emmett joked and Alice giggled quietly next to me.
The serious mood lifted and Carlisle launched into the history of their family and what each kid did after they graduated and how Esme and he both knew why each one was so perfect that they had to adopt them. It was a great evening in its entirety, except when Edward's name was spoken or he looked at me, which was quite often.
Carlisle wanted to give me a tour of the house so after much demanding from Esme, I finally sulked off with him and let everyone else clean the dishes.
"I apologize for my son, Bella," Carlisle said as we walked up the stairs. I turned my head to look at him once we got to the foot of the second story and furrowed my brow.
"Why? Wait, which one?"
His lips pulled into a smile and he placed a gentle hand on my back, leading me to a room that had several paintings on the walls and a fairly large desk at one end of the room. There were a dozen bookcases around the room, taking up the walls and even though I suspected that this was Carlisle's office, the room was actually clean.
"What do you do again?"
"I'm a doctor."
"Ah," I mumbled in response as I walked to the bookcase and glanced over the titles. "That explains why you're so neat."
I could feel him watching me as he stood against the entryway but I made no objection to it. I felt oddly comfortable with him and knew that he wouldn't offend me or hurt me in any way.
"I apologize for Edward," he suddenly said, breaking the easy silence and I looked up from my crouched position near the bottom of the bookcase. I looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping that he understood that I didn't want to mess up anything.
"Wh—"
"Bella," he cut me off. "I can tell that something happened between you two and whatever he did, I'm sorry. Edward…I think, has never fully accepted or gotten over the fact that his parents abandoned him. It's really damaged his trust issues and his ability to see how his actions can affect others."
Um, so basically, he's a fuck-up?
I nodded, not knowing what to say and got to my feet, then walked over to the entryway. "It's okay," I mumbled and walked on, without waiting for him. I stopped outside a room that had a simple, sleek but yet girly style. I could see that the closet was bursting with clothes and around the bottom of it shoes were lined up for a couple of feet. I smiled and leaned against the wall, admiring the little things and details about the room.
"This is Alice's room whenever she stays with us, which isn't often," Carlisle confirmed my suspicions and walked into the room, smiling at the disarray of clothes. His gaze looked around almost lovingly, like everything was a reminder of Alice as if she had just recently passed. I could tell that he and Esme truly loved these children, even if they weren't biologically their own. It was almost heart-wrenching that they couldn't have one of their own. If they loved these kids so much, imagine how much they would love their own child.
I looked around the room once more, smiling thoughtfully at the little tokens that were uniquely Alice and when I glanced up to Carlisle, he was staring at me with an amused expression.
"Don't give up, Bella," he said quietly as he crossed the room back towards me. "She's in a complicated position right now but I know that she'll make the right decision, okay?" He patted my shoulder as he left the room, leaving me to wonder what the hell that meant.
What the hell?
I watched the goldfish as they swam idly along in the little pond behind their house. It was getting closer to sunset and after having spent so much time with everyone, I needed some peace and quiet. For some reason, these fish seemed to entrance me and I was perfectly content with just sitting here and watching them swim.
"I named that one Tigger when I was a little girl," Alice's voice swam across me. I looked up to see her tuck some hair behind her ear as she smiled sheepishly at me. After a momentary hesitation, she sat down next to me on the rock and then dipped her fingertips into the water, moving them along elegantly, just like everything else she did.
"Why Tigger?"
She smiled and then chuckled. "I suppose I thought that their orange and black stripes were the same. I mean, Tigger jumps everywhere and clearly, this fish isn't going to. It was kind of stupid but the name just stuck."
I watched her hand glide back and forth for a moment and then looked up to meet her eyes. How long had she been looking at me? Her face remained serious for a moment and then her lips lifted higher into a soft, somewhat mischievous grin. "I want to show you something," she said quietly and then got to her feet and waited patiently.
"Should I be scared?"
"Ha-ha," she teased and then shook her head. "It's nothing like my driving, I promise. Just come on, honey." She grabbed my forearm and gently tugged and slowly, I got to my feet and then followed her past the pond into the forest behind her house.
We walked along a trail that looked like it had been walked upon several dozen times so I was confident that she at least knew where she was going and this wasn't some spontaneous adventure. We were silent as she led me to this surprise but every once in a while, I would see her glance over her shoulder to check on me and after she looked away, I grinned. That was cute.
We neared a huge boulder that looked to be about thirty feet high and she slowed down and gestured to it. "There you go."
"Wow," I mumbled. "Um, I don't know what to say. This is just…wow," I sarcastically replied and she laughed, and then playfully hit me on my arm.
"Don't judge a book by its cover, honey. Come on," she tugged once more on my forearm, eliciting tingles that I tried my best to ignore. Once I got closer to the boulder, I noticed an opening and the end of a ladder.
"Edward and I were playing around out here one day and then we saw this. We noticed that in this hole, some light shined through at the top so we begged Carlisle if he could knock some rocks out of the way at the top and sort of make this our hang out or whatever. After a week or so, he got his equipment and spent the next month working on chiseling this rock and moving some out of the way and so on so that we could have this."
"Wow. That's really sweet."
"Yeah. He's, God, such an amazing man." She walked to the opening and looked at me expectantly. "The view from the top is amazing. I want you to see it."
Um, climbing up to a tall place? No. No. That does not work for me. Too many times I have tried that and fallen because of my two left feet.
"Uh…" I started but she shook her head and held up her hand to silence me.
"I'll be with you every step of the way. You don't have to worry, honey. I'm here."
Mm. Shit. I'll try it. But I doubt this'll happen.
I stepped forward, held onto the side of the ladder and took a deep breath. Oh man. Fuck my life. I took a step onto it and immediately, my breathing started picking up. My left hand let go of the ladder and I moved to step down but suddenly, her hand enveloped mine in a strong grip.
"Come on, Bella."
How am I supposed to breathe normally now? Goosebumps erupted along my left arm and my head swooned at the feeling of her hand upon mine but I hoped my emotions weren't that evident. I nodded, and then moved along up the ladder. Eventually, she had to let go to climb after me but even then, she whispered encouraging words in the small hole we were in. Finally, I reached the top and had to pull myself up and then shimmy through a tight space before…
Wow. We were up so high that we overlooked her house and I could see the town below.
"This is…" I muttered, not being able to finish from the mere beauty of everything.
"Beautiful? Yeah, I know," she said quietly next to me. I turned my head to look at her and smiled, hoping that my gratitude would be clear.
She walked over to a small dip in the rock and sat down, automatically pulling her dress self-consciously. I sat down next to her, accidentally brushing my arm against hers.
We sat in silence for what felt like an hour next to each other. It was as if we had some spoken agreement that the beauty of nature couldn't be disturbed right now with our petty talk. The sunset was amazing and I wished that I had the ability to paint so that I could recreate the splash of colors that were laid across the clouds. Occasionally, she would nudge me and smile reassuringly or I would glance over at her and then smile sheepishly but mostly, we just sat next to each other, enjoying the beauty and the silence but also each other.
My mind appeared so much at ease that I couldn't help what I blurted out next. "What really happened that night?"
With her arm pressed against mine, I could feel her muscles stiffen beneath the skin. I turned my head and looked at her cold, tight face.
"I already told you, Bella."
"No. You told me a lie, Alice."
Immediately, she got to her feet and was heading towards the hole that led to the ground. I looked over my shoulder and watched her departing feet, then summoned enough energy to say loudly: "Did I kiss you?"
Her feet froze on the rock and I could see her shoulders vibrate with a hard sigh. Yes. That has to be it.
Slowly, I got to my feet and ran my hands through my hair, not knowing what to do. After a few seconds, Alice turned and judging by the look on her face, I knew for a fact that that was what had happened.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled and then shook my head. "I'm so sorry. This messed everything up, didn't it? God."
Alice took a step closer and her hand reached for me in my current state of guilt and embarrassment. Once she saw that I moved slightly for her hand though, she retracted it slowly.
What? What the hell? Then, she shook her head and sighed, annoyed with something.
"It was just the alcohol, right? It was just a mistake?"
No. Not for me. I sighed and looked away, towards the miles of forest. "Yes," I lied.
Her lips tightened for a moment and then she bit her lip, looking at me for several seconds with a look that I couldn't decipher. "Well," she started. "We'll just work past it. Everyone has a momentary lapse of judgment, no matter what they have to lose."
Hm? I don't have anything to lose.
"What? What does that mean?"
Alice blinked and then, like removing a mask, her features turned into apprehension. She didn't answer me and instead, looked like she was fumbling for an answer.
"Alice, what does that mean?" I asked, stepping closer towards her. She bit her lip once more and then struggled with words but nothing concrete came out. After a second, a familiar blush came upon her cheeks and I stiffened, remembering our interaction the morning after.
"Well, excuse me," I said and chuckled. "So you like me better when I'm drunk?"
She seemed to stiffen for a moment but then quickly recovered and I swear, I saw the faintest blush on her flawless skin. "Your drunken self isn't too bad."
"Oh my God," I said, covering my mouth with my hand. "Oh my God. Shit." I raised my eyebrows and I remembered why I thought that loving look earlier was déjà vu.
She slowly reached forward and hesitantly stroked my hair and I watched her eyes look slowly at my hair, then my eyes, my nose with a thoughtful, loving expression and then her gaze lingered on my lips and she sighed softly. "It's hard, Bella."
"Did-did you kiss me back?" I practically shrieked, without meaning to. Her face tightened together in fear and she reached forward, putting her hand on my shoulder.
"Bella, please. Keep your voice down."
Fuck that.
"Did you or did you not?"
She hesitated, her hand still on my shoulder and looked into my eyes with an almost pleading, desperate glare. That answers everything.
I turned, letting her hand drop from my shoulder and walked a little ways away, running my hands through my hair. This actually happened. I kissed her. She kissed me back. Why did she lie? Wait, does she like me? What the fuck is going on right now?
"Bella, it's-it's complicated," she said behind me. "Even though I did—"
A light shined on me right then, blinding me momentary and after shielding my eyes some, I noticed Esme standing outside with a flashlight in her hand.
"Bella! Maybe it's time you go home, sweetie. I'll give you a ride."
"Uh," I muttered. "Yeah, sure! I'll be down in a second!" I shouted, hoping that was the end of our conversation. I was too emotionally drained right now to do anything else. I turned to face Alice. She met my eyes with a sense of vulnerability and after a moment, sighed heavily.
"Tomorrow? The park? Noon?"
I shook my head. "I can't. I've got plans with Angela and Jessica."
"Sunday, then?"
"Yeah. No more bullshit."
"Ok, ok. I promise."
"It's a date."