Shots Of Love: Sweat
Blaine wakes up in a sweat, his body moving into a sitting position on reflex, because breathing is just really essential as a human, and right now lying down definitely not feeling possible.
Sometimes it helps, a new, different position, today, it makes everything just feel tighter, and him, dizzy.
He sits hunched half over, wringing with himself for air, when suddenly he feels arms wrapped tight around him, and turning his head to the left, which takes more effort than it should, finds Kurt's eyes.
Even in the dark of the room, draped in night, they are easily made out.
"Breathe, Babe. Just concentrate on breathing. I got you."
And with that Blaine gives up all efforts to hold himself in any position and slumps into Kurt's arms.
For a brief instant it again only makes everything feel harder, especially breathing. And Kurt feels it tearing at him, the pained whimper that escapes Blaine's lips.
When Blaine picks up on Kurt's heart beating, steady right under his ear, Blaine's lungs seem to give way and allow air back into his system.
Kurt has held Blaine like that many times in the last weeks. Ever since an ill timed confrontation with Finn, that left Blaine in tears brought back the nightmares.
It is hard to hate Finn for it, any of it. He had not known his words would have such an effect on Blaine.
They have talked, Kurt and Blaine, and agreed that they are sick of the hate and what it has done to them already, and how they much rather want to focus on their love on being able to be there for each other, than their anger.
They talk, quite a bit actually about their pasts, but more about their future, together.
A future, their future, one future, together, it is so easy to imagine that it hurts so much less, all that which is so hard to forget.
But then there are people who remind, trigger, openly, senselessly hate. There is no escaping that, for a big part. Though now, whenever it happens they have someone to turn to, and that alone makes a world of a difference.
It had been hard, to ask for each other's love to be shown, for reassurance, in the beginning. It often, still is. And then there are moments like this one, in which nothing comes, not easy but, more naturally, than moving closer, holding each other close, in any way they can.
Blaine lying in his arms, Kurt waits for the moment he will know without a doubt that Blaine is doing better. It comes when in a to Kurt tell tale sign, Blaine tilts his head just so that his face is buried further in Kurt's chest, and he can breathe in Kurt, and nothing but Kurt.
Kurt waits a couple of more minutes, caresses the hair in the nap of Blaine's neck with gentle touches of his fingertips, which has Blaine's breathing relax even further, his whole body. Kurt can feel it.
When Kurt presses a gentle kiss to Blaine's forehead there is a tiny sob, and Kurt feels some tears hit his shirt. "I hate this. I so hate this," Kurt hears Blaine whisper accompanied by sniffling sounds.
"Me too, Love," Kurt replies, gently running his left hand through Blaine's sweaty curls.
Laying them down, Kurt wraps the both of them back into the blankets. They stay like this for neither knows how long, Blaine's arms wrapped around Kurt to hold him close, Kurt running his hands through Blaine's curls over and over in a never ending fluent motion. Then scooting away a little, despite Blaine's weak protests, he is still so exhausted, leaving Blaine wrapped tightly in the blankets, Kurt silently walks over to his bathroom.
Blaine hears the water run and then Kurt is back, sitting down, on top of the blankets, Blaine's head coming to rest in Kurt's lap.
A cool, moist washcloth is tracing along his forehead, neck, the outlines of his face.
"Close your eyes," Kurt whispers. And then the sting is taken from them too, and replaced with Kurt's loving touch.
Blaine can feel his airways really giving way again now, and he takes a deep breath, stuttering and catching in his throat this time only in a pleasant way when Kurt leans down presses a kiss each onto Blaine's still closed eyes.
Blaine opens his eyes a moment later to find Kurt looking directly down into them, adoringly.
Blaine reaches up, and resting his hands behind Kurt's neck pulls him down further. Resting their foreheads together Blaine lets out a breathy, shaky, little laugh.
And as Kurt lies back down under the blankets with Blaine and his head comes to rest on Blaine's chest Kurt hears a steady relaxed thumping and then Blaine, "I'm so lucky."
Blaine loves the sound of Kurt humming in agreement guiding him back to sleep.