Hey everyone!! Here is the newest chapter. I hope you guys all enjoy it, because it was a hard one to write… I started writing this chapter 5 times before I finally liked what I came up with. So I hope it was all worth it! LOL Anyways. You guys are all worried about this not being a Jommy. Well I'm not giving anything away, but I'll say this. I'm a huge Jommy fan and you can pretty much bet anything I write will be a jommy. So don't worry about it!
But enough of me talking you guys want the story. So quick thanks to those reading and reviewing. And a disclaimer saying I don't own IS or the characters.
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"Because Tommy. It is your fault." Jude says looking up and into his eyes.
Tommy just shakes his head. 'No. You can't blame this whole thing on me Jude."
"It's not like I want to Tommy!"
"Well you sure could've fooled me. You come in here and first thing you do is blame me for you running and now you're blaming me because you had to run."
"I know what you're thinking. And you're not all wrong."
"How is what happened to you my fault Jude? How? I wasn't even here."
"Exactly!" Jude shouts jumping up and away from Tommy. He was never going to understand without knowing the whole truth, but how could she tell him? She was so ashamed of everything that has happened. "You left Tommy! You handed me everything I had wanted that night and not even 24 hours later you took it all away! You took away everything we had shared together. Our music, our relationship, and my heart." Jude says through her tears. "You left me empty and hollow to pick up the pieces."
"Jude…"Tommy says but she cuts him off.
"NO! You wanted to know and now you get to." Jude says shaking her head and turning to look at him. "I couldn't handle it. You being gone, it was impossible. So on the night of my release party I told Liam I couldn't go on without you. There was no way I could sing for everyone when all I wanted to do was roll into a ball and crawl into a corner to cry. And you know what Liam said? Guess."
Tommy doesn't say anything. Knowing that Jude has to do this. She has to get rid of this anger towards everything, towards everyone.
"He told me that you had left and obviously didn't care. So I decided why should I care either. And I left not caring that that could be then end of my singing career. Because without you I didn't feel like singing anyway."
"Where did you go when you ditched your party?" Tommy asks knowing the answer, but wanting to keep Jude going as she was losing her steam.
"I went to see Mason in Berry. That seemed like me only safe haven away from everyone here. So when I got there obviously Mason stilled needed to perform so I was just going to sit and wait for him at the bar. Sitting there I called you over and over and over again. I left you hundreds of messages. Then a guy came up to me, he seemed pretty nice and kind of cute. He offered to but me a drink. At first I said no, I was already out of my mind upset and I didn't need alcohol to make matters worse." Jude says stopping to take a breath and turn to look over at his reaction so far. She sees he has his eyes closed and wonders if he is even truly listening.
"Anyways he then offered to buy me a nonalcoholic drink and I said sure. Well at the time I wasn't thinking or paying attention and I just drank whatever he ordered me. Turns out it was an alcoholic drink and after having one he asked if I wanted to have a shot with him and I said sure, one drink what would another do?"
"Jude for someone who has only drank once before in her life and is a minor still. You were probably already tipsy from the first drink." Tommy says not being able to conceal his anger and annoyance.
"I know that Tommy, but I didn't care. The drinking eased my pain. It didn't make me forget about you it just made me feel better."
Tommy knows the feeling. He too has turned to the bottle on occasion to forget or heal the pain he has felt. For the first month after he had left he had drank everyday, till he finally saw how it was affecting everyone around him.
"So I drank with him. Until Mason came to check on me and asked if I wanted to sing. Well at that point I was willing for about anything and said sure. I got up on stage and sang There's Us and then went back to drink some more."
"So you're an alcoholic now?"
"No I'm not and alcoholic. I haven't had a drink since that night. But have you ever been in so much pain or been so frustrated that nothing seemed to work. Have you just been in a place where you had nowhere to turn and it seems the only way out is to drink through it or die? Well I had never been to that place before Tommy until that night."
"I'm sorry."
"Doesn't matter. What happened happened."
"Well what did happen?" Tommy asks still wondering where this trip down memory is taking him.
"After Mason finished he came and asked me if I wanted to wait for him to finish is interviews or just go upstairs. I didn't feel like talking to reporters, but at the same time Mason didn't trust that I could make it to the room alone. So the guy…Corwin, helped me to the room."
"What did he do to you Jude?" Tommy asks. This was the part he wanted to know. The part he believed even Darius didn't know the truth to.
"He—I –we. I sorta passed out, but didn't. I knew where I was and I just wanted to sleep. So I started to undress and the next thing I know I'm lying on the bed and he's lifting my shirt and I see flashes going off. That's the last thing I remember from that night and then the next morning I wake up to Mason and then Jamie shows up and takes me home. Two weeks later I get a package in the mail with pictures from that night. H—he—he was blackmailing with the pictures of me drunk and undressing myself." Jude says bursting into tears.
"Oh Jude." Tommy says running to her and holding her in his arms. While she cries. "It's ok. That's not your fault." Tommy says looking into her eyes. "That's it right? No more secrets about Corwin right?"
Jude just looks into his eyes and nods her head and closes her eyes. Tommy leans in closer and starts rocking her. "It's ok. It's over. He's going to go to jail and this will be all over." Tommy says kissing the top of her head. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you. I just didn't understand. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" Tommy says looking down at Jude. Who just keeps nodding her head. "Hey listen Sadie wants you to go to her place tonight. Okay? Do you want me to drive you or can you make it alone?"
"I'm fine Tommy." Jude says not looking at him and standing to walk away. This worries Tommy even more than her being silent.
"Jude what's wrong?"
Jude turns and looks at him. Opening her mouth to speak but she gets cut off by her cell ringing. "Oh he's under my skin, Just give me something to get rid of him, I've got a reason now to bury this alive, Another little white lie." Plays through the room breaking the silence shared between the two.
Tommy gives Jude a confused look. One of the saddest songs she ever sang is her ring tone. But before he can asks her she picks up "Hello? Oh hey Sadie. Yeah I'm on my way. See you in ten minutes. Bye." Jude hangs up and wipes the tears of her cheeks. "That was Sadie. Umm she was worried about me. I better get going." Jude says turning back around.
Tommy just watches her go not stopping her this time. Finally she disappears down the dark hallway and then he hears the slam of the back door and he finally speaks. "What are you hiding Jude? What are you so afraid of?"
Jude walks out to her car trying to stop the tears from falling, but it's a useless task. Getting in her car she turns the radio on and hears the opening of White Lines. Shaking her head she changes the station, the last thing she needs right now is a reminder of when her and Tommy. Pulling out of the parking lot she is still shaking her head. "You're going to have to tell him. He'll find out eventually, everyone will. So why not just get it over with now." Jude says talking to herself. She's so caught up she realizes she's missed her turn.
Just great Jude. Why is this so hard? Because you don't want anyone to know. Which is true. She is very happy keeping the secret between her and the doctor. But some time down the road, the issue will come up. And he…it's going to be hard. Frustrated and upset Jude starts crying again. It's not fair. I'm 18! Why do I have to deal with this? Pulling into Sadie and Kwest's drive way Jude pulls her key out of the ignition and steps out of her car. Wiping away the tears again from her eyes, she walks up to the door and before she gets a chance to knock Sadie pulls it open.
"Jude. What's wrong?" Sadie says pulling Jude into a hug. "I'm you sister honey you can tell me anything." Sadie says pulling away to look at her. "I'm not going to judge you."
And finally Jude can't take it anymore. She's dying inside because of this burden and she needs to let it because it hurts too much. "He raped me." She says the tears starting all over again. "Corwin raped me and…" But she can't get the rest of the words out and Sadie pulls her into a hug.
Both sisters crying. One for the pain her sisters been through and the unfairness of it all. And the other because of everything she's had to face and because of everything yet to come. Kwest comes walking in from the kitchen and sees both the sisters on the floor crying and he just shakes his head. He heard Jude from the kitchen, but he doesn't think he should interrupt them right now.
Turning to the couch and grabbing a blanket Kwest lays it out for them and heads upstairs. He doubts Sadie is going to leave Jude's side tonight, if ever. And he understands. It's not fair. The krap decent people go through. Jude doesn't deserve any of that. No one does.
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Ok! I hope you guys all enjoyed the chapter. As you can tell it's very emotional and hard issue to deal with. Thanks so much everyone who is reading. I really hope you guys are enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it.
But special thanks go out to the reviewers. You guys are the best and if it wasn't for you this story wouldn't be where it was. I was planning a short little one shot, but I can honestly say I'm glad I kept going. So thank you too:
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I'm glad you guys love the story and keep on reviewing!