The following is a headcannon of myself, my sister, and my roommate. It is also the reason for a double update.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the forms you see in this story. They belong to the Formal Notices: From The Bureau of Communication by Joshua and David Keay. I also don't own The Avengers, who of course belong to Marvel. I think that's it. I also don't own the random cameo by a character in here, nor do I own the series that the character is from.
Warning: Obviously, the original formatting of these forms won't hold up in Fanfiction dot Net court, so I've tried my best to make it understandable. Since the forms are fill-in-the-blank originally, any part that is underlined is something that was 'filled in' by the character or characters mentioned. Anything that is bolded and underlined is one of the options chosen by the person or persons filling out the form when applicable. Anything in (parenthesis) is instructions given by the form for options to choose when filling in the blank. I left these in because they are hilarious.
Because, after all, S.H.I.E.L.D. is still a bureaucratic organization.
Tony Stark was more than used to receiving things in the mail. Usually it was bills, fan mail, hate mail, subpoenas from the government, and the occasional lawsuit requesting he take part in a paternity test. Frankly, that last one was insulting, especially since Tony was in a committed relationship with his CEO, thank you very much.
Then there were the letters that would ask him to endorse something or some idea or whatever. Tony didn't really care since these requests were usually for a good cause and something that he was already looking into. And anyway, most of his mail came electronically these days. There were the occasional physical letters, though, and they were a novel to get.
One particular letter asking for his endorsement—no, his investment stood out to him, though. He read through it again, feeling amused, slightly impressed, bewildered and indignant all at the same time. Really, Tony probably would have gone ahead and endorsed the product at least, since it was sent to him by Form.
The senders, though, were a little troubling.
Because really, was it such a good idea for Thor to be helping his brother with a plan that was clearly Step One towards world domination?
Tony thought for a moment before carefully putting the Form in a 'Consider It' pile rather than the trash can. Depending on how well it sells, as well as what the effects on the populace and the world were, he could maybe get behind endorsing it. Investing was still a little too early to tell, but Tony felt like he could at least add his name to the thing. After all; the two Asgardian brothers had sent their request to him by Form.
They knew just how to play him.
OFFICIAL NOTICE
RECOMMENDED INVESTMENT
STATEMENT (Form: UC-227)
Dear (Name of Recipient) Tony Stark, the other day I was perusing the merchandise in (Name of Store) I didn't really care to notice; they're all the same. I hardly think it matters, when I saw a (Descriptive Adjective) absolutely wonderful woman's hair care product (Name of Item) Frigga (Maybe She's Born With It; Maybe It's Frigga). It was so (Adjective) utterly beyond Midgardian standards (Loki…/Well it is!/), I felt obligated to tell you. Frankly, I have never seen anything like it—it looks like a (Object of Comparison) dream and is (Extraordinary Property of Item) named after our mother. Because after all, what else would we name a beauty product? All I can say is: (Exclamation or Proclamation) Go out and buy it/endorse it/ whatever right now or I will attempt to take over your foolish realm once more/Loki, we talked about this…! I firmly believe that [] You [] Me [X] Everyone should get one. In fact, I would gladly (Extreme Action) smite an entire city (sentence is then marked out and instead replaced with: ) forgo Pop tarts and other Midgardian delicacies to have one right now. You should review it immediately. I anticipate you will be (Reaction) agreeable.
Sincerely, your (Relation to Recipient) former tormentor/teammate and friend (Name of Sender) Thor and Loki
Rationality of Investment:
Insane—Justifiable—Tax Deductible
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Pros:
[X] Sheer Sex Appeal
[X] Limited Availability (Written out to the side is "Don't worry, Loki is currently 'obtaining' the factories to make more.")
[X] Utter Extravagance
[X] Intimidate Neighbors
[X] Support Artisans
[X] To Create Envy
[] It is Orange ("Some of the products are"/"I don't understand, is this a positive trait?")
[X] (Fill in the Blank) It is 100% better than anything previously seen on Midgard.
Cons:
[] Exorbitant Cost
[X] Conspicuous
[] Unwearable
[] Too Big
[] Too Small
[] Lack of Space
[] It is Orange ("I don't understand, is this a negative quality?")
[X] (Fill in the Blank) Fool, there is no downside.
Recommendations:
[X] I Plan to Get One
[X] You Should Get One
[] You Should Give Me One
Likelihood of Regret:
Impossible—When The Bill Arrives—Immediate
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Additional Notes (For Those Who Are Less Than Speechless): Stark, you and I (Thor) are friends I believe. When I tell you that this investment is for the best, I would like you to believe in my words and understand that this is true. Loki, while still admittedly on Midgard, has finally found something constructive to do with his time. I think you'll agree with me when I say that there are worse things he could be doing than taking over the beauty and health care industry and re-naming everything after our mother.