Total Drama Insanity
In this chapter, the campers are going to be competing in a cookoff...are you wondering whose going to make the best dish? Before you ask, it's not going to be me...granted, I am the author but that doesn't mean I'm actually competing in this story...so no, I will not be participating in this challenge. Heh heh.
Are you still asking? Well, if you're that curious, you're going to find out in the chapter that comes after this one...but for know let's simply start this episode..or day...or whatever..
Chapter 21: Bon Appetite
"Well, welcome to another episode of Total Drama Insanity...thankfully nobody came to invade the show this time...anyways, in the last episode, I decided to make the campers go on a tour...specifically, a tour of a chocolate factory. You know, like Willy Wonka? I'm sure you've probably heard of him before..." explained Blaineley.
"I instructed the campers to stay on their best behavior or they would be booted out of the challenge...but guess what? Not all of them listened! Some of them ended up stuck in a pipe...one of them ate tainted bubblegum...two others fell down a garbage chute...and yet another got trapped in a television set...I guess they should have listened to me!"
"But guess what? Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself actually won again! And unfortunately for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot they had to vote another camper off...since Cameron wussed out of the challenge fairly early on he ended up getting shot out of the cannon. What a baby he turned out to be. I'm personally surprised he doesn't wear a diaper. Maybe he wears a pullup?"
"Now then, it's for the next episode of Total...Drama...well, you know what I'm going to say by now." said Blaineley.
One theme song later...
With Cameron now at the Playas Des Losers, it was now Owen, Tyler, Mike, and B. B and Mike in particular looked rather upset that he was gone, even if he had ultimately cost his team the challenge.
"It's a shame...I would have liked to see him win...but I guess that can't happen now. Why did Blaineley include a ride on her tour that involved us getting seizures, anyway?" questioned Mike.
B simply shrugged.
"I personally enjoyed the tour even I did end up being stuck in a pipe...the candy was just so delicious!" exclaimed Owen.
"I enjoyed the tour too...I had to take four showers just to get all the garbage off of me though." pointed out Tyler.
"Sorry to hear that. Who would have thought that those squirrels would toss you and Lindsay down a garbage chute?" answered Mike.
"I personally hope that the next challenge involves food too...I can never stop eating." said Owen.
"I think I already knew that. I bet when the season is over you'll be making a trip to McDonalds." replied Tyler.
"Silly me. And yes, I'll probably be going to a fast-food restaurant...whether I win this season or not. I just love fast food so much!" answered Owen.
B nodded his head in agreement.
Confessional: As I said before, this challenge does in fact involve food.
Owen: If only I actually won a golden ticket so that I could visit a chocolate factory...
B: *he is reading Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory*
Tyler: I just hope that the next challenge doesn't involve sports...I remember how badly we did during the baseball challenge...
Mike: I personally wonder how long it's going to be until the merge...so far nearly half of the campers have already been eliminated...I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Now, let's check on the girls...
Like the male members of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Dawn, Zoey, and Lindsay were once again communicating with each other about what had happened during the last episode. Like B and Mike, Dawn and Zoey were rather depressed about Cameron's elimination.
"It's a shame that Cameron had to go this time...he was a good friend of mine." said Zoey.
"Yes...to be honest, I didn't know him that well since I was on the Toxic Rats last season...but he seemed nice enough." agreed Dawn.
"Who are you two talking about?" inquired Lindsay.
"Cameron. He got eliminated last episode, remember?" spoke Zoey.
"Oh right. Why did I forget that? I was at the bonfire ceremony! Or whatever it was..." answered the blonde, scratching her head.
"I'm starting to wonder how many of us are going to be left before the merge...so far we seem to be on pretty equal footing with our opponents...I wonder if that's going to change though." noted Dawn.
"Did you make another prophecy again that involves bad things happening?" asked Zoey.
"Actually, no. I just wonder how we're going to do until the merge, that's all." answered Dawn.
"Oh, I see." answered the indie chick, letting out a sigh of relief.
Confessional: That's a question you're probably asking too.
Dawn: *she is busy meditating* B is cute...wait, why did I say that while I was meditating?
Zoey: It would be nice to make the merge again...with Scott gone maybe Mike and I can make it to the finals together...
Lindsay: What is this merge that my friends are talking about? I don't know what it is!
Let's check on Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...
Duncan, Brick, Lightning, and Ezekiel were satisfied with their latest victory, to say the very least. However, Duncan seemed to have been rather traumatized after his encounter with Jason Voorhees.
"For a moment there I thought I was going to die..." said Duncan.
"Sorry to hear that." answered Brick.
"Why would you want to get zapped into a television anyway, eh? You're already on TV!" exclaimed Ezekiel.
"I guess I didn't think that one through. Wait, did you just break the fourth wall?" agreed Duncan.
"What? People on this show do in all the time! Don't you know, eh?" answered Ezekiel.
"If Lightning was there, he would beat the crud out of Jason Voorhees! He's no match for me!" exclaimed Lightning.
"You do realize that Jason Voorhees has superhuman strength, right?" pointed out Brick.
"He does?" inquired Lightning.
"Yeah...I don't think taking him mano-to-mano would be such a good idea." warned Ezekiel.
"Aww..." pouted Lightning.
"I never want to ignore Blaineley's instructions ever again." said Duncan.
Confessional: Hopefully Jason Voorhees will not invade this show like Phineas and Ferb did.
Duncan: And to think I actually enjoy watching Friday the 13th...after that little incident I don't think I'll be able to watch that again.
Lightning: Are they sure Lightning wouldn't be a match for Jason Voorhees? If so I wouldn't want to end up fighting him...
Brick: I don't think even an entire army could take out Jason Voorhees...then again, I'm just guessing.
Ezekiel: I wonder how Duncan would react if he got zapped into Teletubbyland.
Let's check on the girls side as we've done before...
Heather, Izzy, and Sierra were sitting in the cabin on their bunk beds. Unfortunately for Heather, her mishap with the tainted gum had left her skin blue. She wondered if it would ever wear off.
"Ugh...curse Blaineley and her stupid bubblegum...now I'm probably going to be stuck like this for the rest of my life. Then again I am a lot more flexible now..." noted Heather.
"You should be glad that you didn't drink the Fizzy Lifting Drinks. Otherwise you would have had to burp your way out, and that would have been embarrasing." pointed out Sierra.
"Yeah! Otherwise you would have been torn to shreds by a ceiling fan! Your blood and guts would have been sprayed everywhere!" exclaimed Izzy.
"Ugh. Thanks for that disgusting imagery." answered Heather.
"What? It really would have happened! Those blades must have been going at a thousand miles per hour! I personally wonder if you would have been made into candy..." said Izzy.
"Who would want to make candy that was made out of human flesh?" inquired Sierra.
"I don't know! Ever read Soylent Green?" asked Izzy.
"I don't think I ever have." answered Sierra.
"Nor would you ever want to, apparently." responded Heather.
Confessional: Thinking about Soylent Green makes my face green...if you get what I'm saying.
Izzy: I wonder if the flavor of Soylent Green varies from person of person...oh wait, I think it does!
Heather: I personally wonder if Izzy would actually eat human flesh...personally I think that she would eat anything...just like Owen apparently.
Sierra: Chef had better not cook Cody and serve him as a meal or he will be in for it!
Speaking of Chef...
"Gee, I sure have a lot more fan mail ever since I saved the island from Phineas and Ferb...they must think I'm a heroine or something." noted Staci.
"Ah yes...if you ever compete on another season on this show you're probably not going to get voted off for a change..." agreed Chef.
"I know...being voted off first stinks! And to add insult to injury I lost all my hair to that toxic marshmallow..." pointed out Staci.
"Believe me, it wasn't my idea to introduce a radioactive marshmallow as part of a bonfire ceremony." answered Chef.
"I sure hope not." agreed Staci.
"Come to think of it, I don't know what Chris was thinking when he decided to turn the island into a wasteland...I personally liked the island the way it was...you know, before there were mutated animals that wanted to have the campers for their supper..." said Chef.
"I see." answered Staci.
"So, are you going to say that your ancestors invented something? That's what you usually do." he asked.
Staci simply shrugged.
"Oddly, I don't feel like doing that right now." she said.
Confessional: Let's hope it stays that way.
Staci: You know, my great-great-great-great grandfather invented the confessi-Whoops, there I go again!
Chef: At least Staci is more bearable to be around than Blaineley and Chris are. Sheesh, what's up with those two?
Now let's see what Blaineley's planning..
"Gee, that chocolate factory challenge sure made me feel hungry...in fact, I think my stomach is starting to grumble. Then again maybe it's because I eat a lot of fiber. I don't know." said Blaineley.
This gave Blaineley an idea for a challenge.
"Say...maybe I could make the campers make me a meal...that way I won't have to deal with Chef's crummy cooking...either that or I could help myself to whatever is in his fridge...for some reason, the food that's left in the fridge always tastes far more delicious than his cooking..." she thought.
"Nah! I'll just make the campers cook something...maybe if I'm lucky they'll bake me a cake or something." she said.
She then went to the kitchen to inform Chef of the challenge.
"Hi Blaineley! Is it time for the next challenge?" inquired Staci.
"In fact, I just came out with it...I'll call the campers in just a few minutes." she answered.
"What is the challenge, anyway?" asked Chef.
"It's what you do on a regular basis." answered Blaineley.
"Is it a military challenge?" asked Hatchet.
"Actually, I think it's a cooking challenge." said Staci.
"I guess you're slightly smarter than I thought! Now if you excuse me I'm going to use the headphones..." she said.
Confessional: If they can't take the heat, the campers should stay out of the kitchen.
Chef: I hope that the campers know what they're doing...because if one of the ovens explodes, I'm going to be mad!
Blaineley: Seeing though Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself probably has no culinary talent, I think they're going to lose! Joy oh joy. *a wide grin forms on her face*
Staci: I wonder what the campers are going to make...
A few minutes later...
"Campers, it's time for the next challenge. Report to the mess hall." she said.
"But we're already in the mess hall." answered Owen.
"Oh. Well, never mind then." answered Blaineley.
Sure enough Blaineley came by wearing a cooking uniform.
"Oh! Is this a cooking challenge?" inquired Lindsay.
"As a matter of fact, it is! You're going to be making some food using the various ingredients I've set up for you...personally I hope you're better at cooking than Chef Hatchet is, because I'm going to giving you a score if I like the food you made or not." she explained.
Chef Hatchet promptly frowned.
"I see." nodded Tyler.
"Now then, report to the kitchen!" demanded Blaineley.
The campers nodded and did as Blaineley demanded. However, no sooner had the campers arrived did a familiar guest pay them a visit...
"Graarghh!" exclaimed James.
Suddenly, the door to one of the ovens opened, revealing a very angry James.
"This challenge already happened during the first season! This challenge isn't original at all! This challenge freaking sucks! Why can't Blaineley get her own ideas?!" exclaimed James.
"Well, there's no cursed idol to make one of the teams lose this time." pointed out Heather.
"Who cares? I still think this challenge sucks!" bellowed James.
"You know, my great-great-great-grandfather invented the oven-he thought it would be useful for cooking t-"
Staci was suddenly interrupted when James screamed at the top of his lungs once again.
"Will you just shut up?! Good lord you talk a lot! I'm glad you were voted off first during Revenge Of The Island! You were so freaking annoying!" exclaimed James.
"You're one to talk." retorted Blaineley.
Staci frowned.
"Hey, James." said Izzy.
"What?" answered James.
Suddenly, Izzy threw another pie at James' face. As before, he ran away crying.
"Sheesh, he really needs to calm down, doesn't he?" asked Zoey.
"It sure looks that way. Maybe he should take an anger management class or two?" agreed Mike.
Confessional: James just won't mind his own business.
James: This time the pie was blueberry...which is ironic considering how blue Izzy makes me feel!
Izzy: Tossing pies in people's faces is so much fun! Maybe I should do that to Owen, I think he would like that...
Chef: Maybe I should bake some more pies...that way Izzy can keep throwing them at James' face.
"Well, now that we've gotten rid of that annoying pest, we can resume this challenge. Now then, start cooking!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"What should we cook?" inquired Tyler.
"Does it matter? Just cook something I like! Or what you like! It doesn't matter!" bellowed Blaineley.
"If you say so eh." answered Ezekiel.
Let's see what Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot has come up with...
The campers then began to decide what they should make. There were so many possibilities they could use...but just what should they ultimately decide on.
"Maybe we could make her a hamburger or something." suggested Owen.
"I think that's probably not a good idea. In case you haven't noticed, Blaineley's pretty concerned about her good looks. I don't think she would want something greasy and fattening." disagreed Zoey.
"Oh, right. I guess we can throw that idea out the window then." agreed Owen.
"Maybe we could make her some pancakes. I'm sure that she would like that." said Dawn.
"Good idea, but I think she already had breakfast. It's already midday, remember?" contradicted Zoey.
"Oh...I guess you're right then...
"You think we should make her some milk? I like milk." Lindsay inquired.
"That's not food, Lindsay. That's a drink." replied Tyler.
"Whoops!" exclaimed Lindsay.
Suddenly, B pulled out a picture of some cookies.
"Say, I think that's a good idea, B! I think everyone here likes cookies..." Dawn said.
"I think we should probably model them after Blaineley's face since she's so vain...that way she'll like them even more." pointed out Zoey.
"Sounds good to me!" nodded Mike.
"Then it's settled then. We'll all start making cookies." agreed Tyler.
Confessional: We're cooking cookies! Get it? Meh, not all puns are good.
Tyler: In retrospect we could have also made brownies...but I think cookies will make Blaineley happy too.
Lindsay: Maybe if we're lucky Blaineley will share the cookies with us!
B: *he is smiling, and he is wearing a chef's hat*
Zoey: I think we're going to do well during this challenge...the only question if we can beat Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself...
Now let's see if Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself can come up with something better...
Like Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot, the campers were busy discussing what exactly they should make to Blaineley. Since she said that any type of food would go, there were a lot of possibilites.
"Maybe we should give her some steak. I ate a lot of that when I was at military school and it tasted great!" exclaimed Brick.
"I don't know Brick, she's probably a vegetarian eh." pointed out Ezekiel.
"Good point." agreed Brick.
"Maybe we should give her some cookies that are shaped like baseballs!" exclaimed Lightning.
"I don't think she's a sports fan." disagreed Heather.
"Aww!" whined Lightning.
"Maybe we could give her some chocolate?" Sierra inquired.
"She just took on a tour of a chocolate factory. Why would she need chocolate?" pointed out Duncan.
Sierra frowned.
"Ooh I know! Let's make her a cake! I love cake!" bellowed Izzy.
"Say, that seems like a pretty good idea...let's add frosting to it saying that Blaineley rocks!" squealed Sierra.
"Blaineley rocks?" questioned Duncan.
"We want to get on her good side, don't we?" pointed out Brick.
"I agree with Brick. Let's be nice to Blaineley for a change eh. Even if she's never nice to us." agreed Ezekiel.
"I guess you guys are right. I suppose we should probably butter up Blaineley. That way she might tilt the game in our favor instead of our opponents." stated Heather.
"Fine fine fine. We'll add frosting to the cake showering Blaineley with praise. Are you happy now?" reluctantly agreed Duncan.
"Yes! Yes we are!" squealed Izzy.
Confessional: Bake me a cake as fast as you can!
Izzy: *she is wearing a chef's hat* This challenge is going to be so awesome!
Heather: *she is rolling her eyes* Personally I think my team are going to screw this up...
Duncan: *he shrugs* I suppose I can do something nice once in a while if it means that my team wins a challenge.
Brick: *he salutes Blaineley with respect*
And the cookoff has begun! Who's going to win, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot and their cookies? Or Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself and their cake? Of course, you'll find out in the next episode...which you're probably going to be anticipating judging by the reviews I've received for this story.
And yes, there's going to be another shocking bonfire ceremony...I know I've said it before, but they can't all be predictable, now can they?