Yes. It's me. OCD made me change my name. Ask her why. You can find her link on my profile. She loves PMs so send her one.

Now, Chapter 20 was REALLY well received (I wonder why?) and you guys graced me with my most reviews ever in a single week or for one chapter. Thank you so much. I read them all and I appreciate all the words of support and encouragement. It's hard to explain how intimidating it all is…and then when you get such awesome responses it makes the pressure for the next one so much more. I'M TRYING NOT TO CRACK!

Thanks to OCD for the beta this week, Starshinedown left me to go have a real life for one weekend. Oprah for being awesome and bringing Cakeward to life.

Nev & Robyn and all other members off the SPB (see twilighted (dot) net thread for this)…this chapter is for you.

Song: No Doubt~Underneath It All

EPOV

I entered the clearing at full speed. It was a beautiful night, clear with no clouds. I looked up at the full sky of stars and a partial moon. Miles away from civilization, my enhanced vision made the stars that dotted the sky shine like diamonds. Finding our rock, I settled on it waiting for her to arrive. I was faster, typically early, but these moments alone now were not so painful. I had Bella. Truly had her, and for the first time in many years, being alone wasn't so daunting and it was a wonderful feeling to know someone would be waiting for your return.

I'd left Bella at home, Angela had come over and they were going to have dinner and watch some movies. Girl time or something. I had no idea what that meant really, but Bella insisted on maintaining her relationship with her friend, which I fully supported. Her family was far way and their contact minimal. I realized how lucky I was to have access to unconditional support all the time and I wanted her to have the same in whatever manner it came in. Angela was important to her and therefore important to me. So with my head buried in her neck one last time, I kissed the pulsing spot under her chin and left for my meeting.

The thought of Bella caused a false feeling of warmth to spread through my body. The kiss we'd shared that afternoon was still heavy on my mind. I'd wanted her for so long, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. I was concerned about hurting her and my desire for her blood taking over. I worried it was too fast and not what she wanted, that I was simply pushing my will on her, using my vampiric allure to confuse and sway her. I couldn't remember a time when I couldn't hear a woman or girl's thoughts and know her needs. I had to read Bella like a normal, non-gifted person would, and it was incredibly intimidating and frustrating.

So, I held back and tried to let nature take its course. I distanced myself, using the distraction of work and James as a ploy to put some space between us. But Bella was strong. Mentally and emotionally she knew what she wanted, which I was more grateful for than she could know. In this relationship of ours, it could never be the will of one over the other. We had to bring our strengths to the table and determine who should take the lead. This time it was up to her. I needed her to let me know how she wanted to proceed.

As usual, Bella seemed aware of my hesitation and she tested me, having no idea how I struggled in the attic. I heard her coming up the stairs and as she appeared in the doorway, I watched her peripherally, her slim legs, and silly shoes. I felt her behind me, balanced on the edge of my desk. I couldn't see her but, I could hear her every movement, the sway of her feet and legs, the shift of her skirt, the soft thuds of her shoes as they hit the hardwood floors. I was assaulted by the smell of her hair as she pulled it away from her face.

My back was to her and she was oblivious to my reaction. I used all my power to keep my feet in place, my knees close to buckling under the strain. Venom dripped lightly down my throat, less now, but still prevalent. My entire body reacted to her presence, like a row of Dominos, and I fell one piece at a time, my hands clenched, the fabric of my pants tightened and my nostrils flared as I inhaled her succulent aroma.

At that moment, she called my name and my final tile fell, tumbling, and with as much composure as possible, I turned to her allowing her to lure me in. I listened and responded when she spoke, but all I could think of was her bare legs and what her skin would feel like under my fingertips. And with every word she spoke, I wanted to shut her lips with my own, using them to speak through me, not to me. With nervous hands, she pulled me close inviting me to connect with her body and I could no longer resist. I breathed her in, and for one moment it was too much, almost too much, and I begged her to remain still so I could steady myself. Her stillness allowed my senses to clear and discern which desire was stronger, and it wasn't the bloodlust, it was the physical lust, so I kissed her and with relief she kissed me in return.

I relived this moment in my head as I heard the approaching footsteps. Out of the dense trees a figure stepped and I was at her side in an instant. Wrapping my arms around her, I lifted her off her feet and swung her around. If Bella was my compass, Esme was my constant. She was honest and forthright, non-judgmental and only wanted the best for those she loved. I was there for her when she woke from death, confused and scared. She was there for me when I returned home the first time, bitter and hollow. We supported one another through it all. I was close to everyone in my family, but Esme and I shared a different kind of bond. We were raised together in this second life and it forged us together unlike all the others. She was who I went to when I needed the truth. And until now I hadn't wanted to hear what she would say.

I planted a firm kiss on her forehead and let her feet hit the ground. "I missed you," I told her and in the darkness I could see her gold eyes studying me.

"I missed you too," she said in return and she reached her hand up to smooth my hair out of my face. I slipped my hand into hers and we walked across the field to the large rock and climbed on top.

This was our place. Mine and Esme's. We didn't come here often, but after I left the family we had difficult times. She wanted to help me, mother me and I had to remind her constantly that she wasn't my mother, if anything I was actually her big brother and I could make it on my own. So now, on prearranged dates, we met here to keep the air clear and our love known.

"Well," she said swatting me across the knee. "Tell me all about her. Everything."

I softly punched her arm back. "No, you first. What have you heard?"

A sly grin crept across her mouth. "Hmmm….Alice is in heaven, but you knew that. Jasper is fascinated by the whole concept of your attraction to Bella since she is human, and Emmett thinks she is too good for you."

I laughed because as usual, Emmett was smarter than I typically gave him credit for. I raised an eyebrow and asked, "What about the others? How do they feel?"

Esme became quiet and I saw her nose crinkle in thought…Rosalie is worried. Not about Bella but the other vampires. You know she doesn't like disruption in her life.

I nodded in understanding unsurprised by Rosalie's position. I pushed Esme's wandering thoughts out of my mind and waited for her to speak again.

"Carlisle loves you and he is always proud of your choices."

That last one hung in the air for a minute, and I swelled at her words about Carlisle. I found her hand and I pulled it playfully. "And you?" I asked, fearing what was to come.

"Me?" she asked.

"What do you think?"

I watched as she brushed the back of her hand over my cheek. "I think you look happy. You're brimming with something I never thought you would possess."

I couldn't help but smile because I could feel it too. I was overflowing with it. With Bella.

"The other times I knew things weren't right. Obviously, you and Rosalie were incompatible and I still have no idea how Carlisle thought that would work. And Tanya…" she trailed off and I couldn't help the grimace from settling on my face. "Well, Tanya taught us we all need to be true to ourselves. You can't make things work for other people. Clearly, you've learned this lesson."

She was right. I had learned this lesson and it was why I was willing to fight so hard and risk so much for Bella. I once fought for the wrong things. The wrong person.

"She challenges me. And accepts me. It's more than I could've wished for."

Esme laughed quietly. "It would take a strong woman to keep up with you. Stronger than Alice or Rose." Have you thought about the future?

"Not yet. It's too soon, but I know we will have to," I responded, the thought made my insides turn. It was all so new but as odd as it sounded, we didn't have forever.

I bumped my shoulder into hers and we quieted for awhile. Among the crickets and noises of the forest, I listened to the thoughts of her mind. Esme was happily humming the melody of a song I wrote for her, the sound of the notes flitted through her head.

She leaned her head onto mine comfortably as I said, "I'm composing again."

For her?

"She inspires me."

Worry passed through her thoughts, the 'what if's' that were bound to come. What if I hurt her? What if James got to her first? What if this wasn't the life she wanted? What if I lost her? What then?

I pushed these thoughts aside, preferring to live my current state of blissful denial. Esme and I spent the remainder of the night sitting on our rock speaking of love and how it changes us. She retold the story of the first time she met Carlisle, when she was human and how it wasn't their time. I wondered if Bella and I had met at another time, under different circumstances how things would have turned out. As the morning light began to creep up behind the trees, we said our goodbyes, embracing tightly and with the promise to bring Bella to meet her soon. My heart was lighter as I watched her disappear into the thick brush of the forest. Once I could no longer hear her footsteps, I ran in the other direction, racing back to Bella.

Xxx

BPOV

"A meat thermometer?" I asked, unwrapping the next item from the pile laid out on the counter in front of me.

Edward's head was inside a large brown box on the kitchen floor and I heard him reply with a muffled, "Sure, why not?"

"Because I don't eat meat?" I said, and studied the stainless steel, digital thermometer in my hand.

He lifted his head out of the box and rested his hands on the edges, his forearms bare and taut. He had a piece of packing foam nestled in his thick bushy hair. Perplexed, he said, "True. Isn't it funny that you don't eat animals but I do?"

"Hysterical. But neither of us needs a meat thermometer," I said and placed it on the 'return' pile on the counter.

Earlier that day, I had been at my desk when the doorbell rang. Edward beat me to the door, quickly signing for several packages and bringing them past me into the kitchen. The look on his face was excitement and I could see a trace of pride in his smirk as he carried the largest box through my office.

Before I even stood up, I could hear him ripping into the boxes, sliding his sharp nails through the packing tape like a razor. Mesmerized as usual by the severe contrast between his graceful movements and his animalistic abilities, I watched in fascination as he began unpacking containers.

"Can I ask what all this is?" I asked, once I pulled my eyes from his hands and located the appropriate words.

He stopped briefly and smiled sheepishly. "It's for you. Kitchen supplies. Now that you live here you should have some tools to help you cook."

I felt the grin spread across my face. It was impossibly sweet. He was impossibly sweet. I walked over to him and stopped his hands from removing the wrapped objects from inside the box. "Thank you," I said and slid my hand around his waist. I looked at him, waiting for approval, which he gave in a minute nod, before pushing up on my toes. My lips found his, cool and slick, and I kissed him gratefully.

He kissed me back and when we parted, his tongue darted over my lips in one final sweep causing my knees to buckle. This had become a pattern. His kisses made me weak, causing me to stutter and stammer when they were over. Edward was convinced it was his vampire charms. I let him believe that but I knew it wasn't true. It was simply him, and his touches captivated me. He owned me body, mind and soul.

I forced myself to wander back to my sorting, but I found myself watching him instead. He was so relaxed, happy. His face had always been smooth and perfect, but I knew now there had been an underlying anger and sadness. But now, since we'd been together, that had washed away. He was busy separating utensils, measuring spoons, and chopsticks ("For the Thai!" he exclaimed with glee). He was glorious and safe. He was exciting and carried the enthusiasm of a child. I felt a pull to Edward like I had never experienced before. And as much as I was content working side by side with him, there were still questions I had and answers I needed.

But I wasn't sure how to approach it. Not exactly. Edward was from another time. He was polite and reserved. I needed to know our limitations personally and realistically. I needed to know the dangers and if he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

An hour later, I was still working on how to ask him when I realized most of the boxes were unpacked. Edward was holding a circular pizza cutter in his hand, spinning the sharp wheel, round and round, letting the edge slice across his finger.

"This is amazing," he said, totally fascinated by the spinning knife. "So you put it on your bread and it rolls across in a straight line. No breaks." I nodded trying to keep the amused expression off my face. For someone who knows so much and has experienced so many things, he could be completely clueless.

I winced as he rolled the cutter down his arm, a faint line appearing for a second but healing immediately. "So your skin just heals?" I asked.

"Yes, see…" and he took a pairing knife out of the block and ran it down his cheek. Instead of a thick stream of blood, there was a pinkish line that quickly disappeared. "And I have to press really hard for it to do that."

I walked over and reached my hand up. He lowered his head and turned his cheek so I could feel it. There was no trace of injury, his skin was as flawless as before. I used my other hand to pluck the foam pieces out of his hair.

"So, you can't be injured, other than being torn to shreds and set on fire. Which can really only be done by another vampire or maybe a werewolf?" I asked.

He nodded and said, "It's a blessing and a curse." The curse he explained, was how once you were changed you were pretty much stuck this way for eternity. There was no easy way out.

"But you can go out in the sun, you just don't go out in the sun," I confirmed. This one confused me and I had been thinking of a way to approach it for days. It was sunny today, not a cloud in the sky and I had a plan. "From your journals, you claim you look like a monster in the sun, that it reveals your demonic nature. I don't understand. You weren't very descriptive."

Edward put the knife in the utensil drawer and finished placing the measuring cup in the cabinet. "It's hard to explain. But it keeps us indoors, out of the light. It's why I stay home on sunny days, it's why we live here."

I was leaning on the counter, my elbows propped on either side. I saw the discomfort on his face and I wanted to wash it away. "Show me," I demanded.

He looked pained and said, "I'd rather not. It's just weird."

I pushed off the counter and was back at his side. "Please?" I begged. "I want to know all of you." I tugged on his arm and pulled him towards the back door, the one that took us out to the patio.

It was gloriously sunny outside, so bright it made my eyes hurt for a second due to the glare. I walked past Edward, out into the heat and scowled at him as he hid just inside the door.

"Edward. Come on. It can't be that horrible." I laughed but he still wouldn't budge. "Oh. My. God. It is! Do you get spikes on your face or does your face turn all evil vamp like on the TV?" I was kind of kidding but his hesitancy was concerning me.

I walked back up the short stairway to the door and placed my hand in his. "It's okay. You can show me."

I gently pushed him down the stairs so he was a step below me, the sun grazing the top of his dark hair making the tips glow copper. I leaned down and began placing soft kisses on his face, starting with his forehead and working my way down his cheeks, across his nose until I reached his mouth. My fingers gripped the sides of his shirt, near his waist, and I could hear a faint growl under his breath. Speaking against his lips I said, "Close your eyes." And I felt them flutter shut and I closed my own as I nudged him down one more step, trying to distract him with my mouth and hands.

I could feel the sun beating down on my head and I opened my eyes to find him standing, tall and long, eyes shut, sparkling in the sunlight. He looked like he had been rolled in iridescent glitter. He looked like he was covered in diamonds.

I ran my fingers up his arms, gliding them over the shimmery skin. He shuddered under my touch which pleased me. My hands traveled over the fabric of his shirt to his neck where again, I fingered the skin, manipulating the shadows, reveling in the beauty of this man. Tracing the collar of his shirt, I stopped at the button under his throat and said, "May I?" and with eyes shut, he nodded, granting me permission. With confident hands, I unfastened the buttons, painstakingly, one at a time, basking in the glow of his skin as I slowly revealed his chest and then stomach.

Once it was completely unbuttoned, I pushed the material back, over his shoulders, letting it slide down his arms and drop to the ground. His exposed skin, pale and white was glimmering under the afternoon sun. My hands found his abs, chiseled and perfect, and traced the muscles, one by one until I reached his chest. "Are you kidding me?" I wondered aloud, my eyes drawn to the reflective sparkles that glinted off his body and onto my own.

"What? Why?" he asked breaking from the quiet spell he was under.

"You! Acting like you looked horrible or scary." I walked around him and ran my hands over his sculpted and blazing back. He looked like he was coated in sugar. It was all I could do not to lick his skin.

"People don't look like this, Bella. Not normal people," he said wistfully, his voice thick with regret.

I stopped my ogling for a moment and turned him towards me. I wove my fingers in his and led him to the soft cushion of a wide wicker chair across the patio.

"You may not be 'normal,' Edward, but you are beautiful." I trailed a finger down his face and pushed him into the seat. "You have no idea," I said, before settling onto his lap.

Xxx

EPOV

I reached my hand out and brushed back a sticky, sweaty piece of hair from Bella's neck. Her face was flushed from the heat and I could see a bead of sweat rolling down the back of her neck. I drew her to me and pressed my lips against her flesh, tasting her.

We had been sitting on the patio for some time, the sun getting lower, shining only on one corner of the tile floor. Bella's hands were still attached to my bare chest, like they were affixed with adhesive. Outside, I was holding my composure, but inside, I was a quivering mess. Her hands were so soft, moving over my body with care and tenderness and my body coursed with electricity. The closeness was new and exhilarating.

Bella's reactions surprised me as usual. I'd spent a lifetime thinking my exposed self was freakish, but she proved me wrong once again, finding beauty where there was none. She was now resting her head on my shoulder, her fingers documenting my skin. Breaking the stillness. "Edward?" I hummed in response and she continued, "I need to ask you some questions."

"Anything," I replied and ran my nose along the velvet of her ear.

She shivered and I felt a smile next to my chest. "I need to know what exactly we can do."

"Do?"

She pressed her sticky forehead into me and her already flushed skin turned redder. I knew what she wanted to know. It was in her heart beat and in the slight shake of her voice. I could smell the adrenaline in her nerves. The idea that she wanted me was thrilling, arousing but this was dampened by the reality of the situation.

"Yeah. There's venom and teeth and all kinds of foreign things I don't understand," she mumbled. The wind blew lightly across the patio cooling us. I could hear the creaking chains from the hanging flower baskets as they swayed on their hooks off the eaves.

I pulled her chin up towards my face. "You really want to know?"

"Of course. Edward, neither of us are children. I've been in relationships before, I assume the same of you."

I nodded feeling a twinge of unfounded jealousy at the thought of Bella with another man. "True, but the men you were involved with were human, and for me she was not."

We let that disclosure settle for a moment and she kissed me quickly on the forehead and said, "Then we are starting on even ground, I guess. We both need to know what is safe and what we are comfortable with."

Her eyes were earnest and she had such faith. This talk was hard for me. Not only because I didn't want to disappoint her but because men and women from my time didn't discuss things of this nature. But this was her time, not mine and I knew I needed to adjust. Nervously, I ran my hand down her leg and let my finger graze the pulsing vein near her ankle, letting the rhythm build my courage.

Shifting in my seat, I sat up a little, moving her with me. "Well, I'm not completely sure. I have no idea if a vampire and a human have had relationships, well, and lived to tell about it."

She stiffened slightly but her hands resumed stroking my chest, so I continued, "We can kiss, and the venom isn't harmful if ingested orally. Even if you had a small cut on your mouth it wouldn't take effect." I grimaced. "But, my teeth are very sharp. It's how we feed and fight. If you cut yourself on them the results would be dire."

Her heartbeat quickened in my ears and under my finger. Swallowing deeply she said, "Explain what you mean by 'results.'

"If my venom enters your bloodstream, directly, other than in minimal amounts by a bite or cut, you will begin the process of changing."

"Changing… to be like you," she clarified.

Although I could sense her fear, it wasn't enough, which left me with conflicted emotions. "Yes. Like me. Or, I would kill you in the process." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling her. "If I tasted your blood, Bella, I'm not sure if I could stop myself."

Thoughtfully, she considered, "So, kissing is allowed, even open mouthed but beware of your teeth."

I nodded.

Bella cocked her head. "So, what you're saying is that you've been holding out on me." A look of irritation crossed her face.

"Sorry. I just wasn't sure…"

"Edward. Don't treat me like some kind of fragile doll. I'm not," she said and her lips pouted a little.

I nodded. She was right. "I'm sorry. But you are too important to me to risk your safety in any way. You have to believe any precautions I take are necessary. Okay?"

She dropped her head back to my chest and squeezed me as tight as her human arms could manage. "Okay, I trust you. But don't underestimate me either."

She rolled on her back so I could see her face and I said, "I won't. Is that all of your questions?" I asked this, but I already knew the answer. "Is there anything else you want to know?"

She made a face and said, "You know what I want to know."

I did. But the answer wasn't what either of us wanted to hear so I didn't want to be the one to break the news to her. I sighed. "I'm not sure. The situation is unprecedented and therefore dangerous. Since all our fluids are replaced by venom this is a major concern. Unlike kissing, there would be a larger quantity of venom involved. There is no safe way to know if it's possible or not."

Her face fell a little but she seemed to be seriously considering the information I had just given her. "But we can kiss, like really kiss. Right?" she asked. I laughed and said, "Yes," loving the way her eyes lit up at the idea of 'really' kissing me.

Then I watched as her eyes narrowed, the wheels turning in her head. What I would have given to read her thoughts at that very moment. I waited, knowing there was more when she finally said, "I have one more question." And she sat up eyeing me wickedly.

I groaned inwardly. This was not going to be good. "Just one?" I asked, stalling for time.

"For now," she said and hopped off my lap. I eyed her as she adjusted her shorts and suddenly reached out for my waistband, yanking me out of the chair with both hands. I willingly followed her as she dragged me across the patio to the last patch of sunlight where my skin instantly began to glint.

Bella's hands were firmly tucked into the edge of my pants, her fingers softly grazing my skin. "What's this about?" I asked.

Bella blew out her mouth and bit down on her lip, covering me with her scent. "Well, I'm curious about one thing," she said, tugging me a little closer.

"Okay." I'd been honest this whole time, there was no need to stop now.

Again she paused, and bounced on her toes a little, nervously. Impatiently, I cupped her face in my hands and cut off her movements with a firm kiss on her mouth. She responded eagerly, pushing further this time by pressing her tongue to my lips. I couldn't read Bella's mind but I could read her body. This girl was going to end me.

Reluctantly, I ended the kiss and said, "What's your question, Bella?"

She sighed heavily, her eyes hooded from the kiss, and I laughed at her dazed expression. She looked the way I felt. She shook her head, clearing it, and said, "Oh! Yeah, so, ummm...does your whole body sparkle like this?" And she tightened her grip on my pants, causing a slight tremor inside.

My mouth dropped in surprise which only bolstered her courage. "Does it? Sparkle?"

She was standing close, her tiny hands clutching my pants, asking taboo questions. I was close to horrified at the thought of the entire subject, but something about the way her foot was tapping made me wonder if she was really as brave as she was acting. I grabbed her hands in mine, pulling them off my waist and said, "Bella, one day I hope you'll find out, but for now that is one mystery I'm keeping to myself." I smiled crookedly hoping she would forgive my evasion. Her grin in return told me she did and standing in the fading afternoon sun, glittering like a diamond, I kissed her, knowing that in that moment it was more than either of us had expected.

Xxx

I was sitting at the piano, a notebook propped in front of me filled with my newest composition. I didn't need the papers, I had it memorized of course, but it was almost like a safety net. There to help me if I faltered. Which was impossible since I never even began. My fingers would pose over the keys and I would run the notes through my head, hearing the music but I couldn't actually play. I was blocked. Bella inspired me to write, but something inside me refused to complete the act. Music was my final connector to humanity. I'd played piano before my death and it was the only real talent I brought with me to the other side. I stopped years ago when I realized I was living a false life. Pretending to live like others when I was farther away than ever. Although I felt I was close, I wasn't completely ready.

Exasperated with myself, I shut the cover, and left the room, walking down the stairs to my rooms. It was late. Bella was asleep in her room and as every other night before, I was aimless. James was eluding me for the moment. I was waiting for Carlisle to solidify information about the wolves and arrange a meeting. There were piles of research waiting for me on my desk, but none of it interested me. Work, studying, learning. None of it mattered anymore. Only one thing held my interest. Bella.

If I thought my obsessive tendencies would wane once she moved into my home and entered into a relationship with me, I was wrong. More than ever I craved her. So on this night, I wandered the house, counting the CDs, cataloguing the books, burying my nose in the blue sweater Bella left on the back of her chair. I ignored the steady thumps from her room, evenly paced, calm, resting. At night, it was the hardest, having her here and letting her have her space. I wanted to be with her all the time, to have her near me. So I took to my old habits, just altered for our new situation.

Every night I tried and failed to stay away, but each time I felt the pull, the compulsion to be near her. Tonight, I had held out longer than most, buoyed on kisses and caresses from our time on the patio. When I felt the urge, I let my mind wander, reliving the hours spent exploring each other, body and soul. But my limit had been reached and I sprinted up the stairs, stopping outside her room, where I hovered outside the door.

As I began my new tradition of waiting and listening, absorbing her sleeping movements, always outside the door, never intruding in her actual space, I was surprised when I heard the click and turn of the knob and came face to face with my fixation, Bella.

"Edward," she said and I my eyes widened at her voice. Her eyes were drooping and half open. Her face had a line down the side from the crease in her pillow. Hair was sticking out everywhere, tufting out of the clip at the top. She was vulnerable and exquisite.

"Yes," I answered, humiliated at being caught, but too desperate for contact to run.

She rubbed her eye lazily with the back of her hand and yawned. "Stop standing in the hallway, come to bed."

Stunned, I nodded and watched as she turned and tumbled back into bed, pulling the cover over herself and rolling on her side.

I stood in the doorway unsure, afraid she was still asleep and I was close to over stepping my bounds. Just when I was about to turn away, erring on the side of caution, she looked up at me and reached her hand out, patting the empty side of the bed, giving me a sleepy grin.

Stepping into the dark room, I carefully slipped off my shoes, one at a time. I eased into the bed and gingerly laid on my back, my head resting on the pillow. Bella snuggled her body close to mine and I felt her hand settle on my chest, spreading her fingers wide. Shifting to my side, I placed my hand on her hip, pulling her gently towards me.

I realized this was the first time I had laid on a bed in decades. I'd had no use, no purpose until now. Bella broke down the walls built up by my demon, forcing the humanity to spill out. She wasn't allowing me to live outside her, watching her. She wanted me to experience life with her. For once, I grasped the concept of living for someone and with someone, and not lurking in the shadows, reading their minds and anticipating their actions.

Leaning over, I kissed her forehead and whispered, "Thank you," and prepared myself for the night as a participant and not an observer.

Hmmmm….okay. Hope that worked for you. A little fluff, some back story, family time, our little darkward still struggles but he's working so hard. A couple FAQ:

*Smeyer has a TOTALLY convoluted sex canon. I am making some stuff up here on my own so please don't correct me on my changes. I know it is not 'canon', but between me, Houroflead, That_writr, AngstGoddess003, & OCD we have all kinda hammered out some stuff. I stole some from HOL and T_W and they know this so don't worry….we all discuss I promise. Anyway, this is one of the Alternates in Alternate Universe for COH.

*The Wolves. A little history for COH. Charlie and Renee are still married and live in Arizona. Charlie does not know Billy or any of the Rez guys. So where does this leave Jacob? Not as a love interest that 's for sure. For one thing he doesn't know Bella. And, I feel like the La Push folk felt like Charlie and Bella were kind of one of their own which is why they were so possessive of Bella being with Edward. This is not going to be an issue, I promise.

*Tanya? Patience.

Thanks everyone….let me know what you think and if there is anything I missed in my FAQs up there! ~angel