Ch 21: Insight

The next morning saw a flurry of activity in Longbourn as the Bennet's tried to contain their excitement and finish their morning tasks so that they could be ready for the picnic. Tommy was so enthralled with the idea of a possible new friend (one that he hoped would not be as tall as Darcy), that he insisted on holding onto his fishing rod throughout breakfast and continually packed and repacked the little box of gear that he had received for his birthday earlier that year. Even Mr. Bennet found that his spirits were raised by the happiness that permeated the household and used various fishing related problems for Tommy's arithmetic lesson.

The inhabitants of Netherfield also found themselves in good cheer and could little restrain their patience.

Kitty, who was in the front garden gathering fresh flower bouquets for the household vases, was the first to spy the coming carriage. Quickly grabbing her basket, she rushed to the main house to warn her sisters. Elizabeth, who was just putting away the last page of the week's updates from the tenants, stood in alarm at her news, "Oh! But they are early! Papa and Tommy are still closeted in the study, Mary's still checking on the chickens, and Jane is still supervising the packing of the baskets!"

As though Elizabeth's words had summoned her, Jane entered the room bearing a large basket. "I do believe Mrs. Hill, bless her, outdid herself. I only had to step into the kitchen for cook to hand me the prepared basket." Seeing her sisters' faces, Jane paused, "Whatever is the matter?"

The words were barely out of her mouth when the Netherfield party entered with two baskets of their own. After the good mornings were exchanged, Georgiana said with a slight blush, "I hope you will forgive our early arrival; I simply could not sit still and wait any longer and begged my brother to allow us to leave earlier than we had planned. Though, I see we have indeed come too early. Oh, I am sorry!"

Elizabeth laughed, "You needn't apologize, Georgie. I just hope you do not mind that we may be negligent hosts for a bit."

Darcy stepped forward with his basket, "Perhaps it may help that our cook has decided to prepare a feast for us already."

Examining the mouth-watering offerings from Netherfield, Jane was quick to exclaim, "Oh dear! I fear your cook must be much like ours in packing more than we could possibly eat. It would not do for these delicious items to spoil in the day's warmth; we should probably sort through them and take only what we will need."

Kitty smiled at her sister, "Do not worry Jane, Georgie and I are fully capable of accomplishing that task. Why do you and Lizzie not take the gentlemen to Oakham Mount first? We can meet you there once Mary returns."

Sparing a shy look at Bingley, Jane blushed slightly, "Kitty, I am not sure it is proper for us to go without a chaperone."

Kitty laughed slightly, "Then take Tommy with you. In fact, I think I can hear him in the hall now. It would be good exercise for him; I imagine the climb might tire him out enough so that he will not scare away the fish with his enthusiasm later during the day."

At the still doubtful look on Jane's face, Georgiana spoke up, "Oh do let us sort through the food, Jane. You and Lizzie should have time to rest a while during this beautiful day. Think of it as an opportunity for Kitty and I to practice our skills in housekeeping. You can pass judgment on our efforts during luncheon!"

Elizabeth linked her arm through her sister's, "Well Jane, I think they leave us little choice but to follow their plan." Looking at Darcy and Bingley, she added, "That is, if the gentlemen are agreeable as well?"

Darcy and Bingley looked at each other, each thinking of the previous night's conversation with respect to the two ladies, and nodded resolutely.

With a wide smile, Bingley bowed gallantly, "I would be honored to escort such lovely ladies on this adventure."

Jane sighed in defeat and handed her basket to Kitty. "Very well, allow me to ask Papa."

Mr. Bennet easily gave his permission, saying teasingly, "It will be good for me to have a small respite from the young scamp before I join you with the other girls." His fond smile at Tommy made the young boy know that his father was merely teasing.

And so, Jane and Lizzie grabbed their bonnets and allowed Tommy to lead the way to their destination. The young lad, after his initial delight at meeting a friend of Mr. Darcy's (and the fact that Bingley was of a shorter height), then began to pour forth all manners of questions as to their experiences with the noble sport of fishing.

Chuckling at his insatiable curiosity, Kitty and Georgiana turned to the task of consolidating the large collection of food. Before they began, however, Mr. Bennet made certain to ask, with a sparkle in his eyes, "Kitty, dear, do my eyes deceive me or are you trying to play matchmaker?"

Blushing at having been caught out by her father, Kitty responded, "I knew I could not escape your insightfulness, Papa. It is just that Jane and Lizzie have done so much for us that I hope that they may have their chance at happiness."

Georgiana likewise spoke up, "I hope you do not mind, Mr. Bennet, but I must own that I am a co-conspirator in this task. I would so love to have Miss Elizabeth as a sister."

Mr. Bennet nodded knowingly, "And I suppose Mary is the third in your merry group."

At the girls' guilty nods, he smiled gently, "It is very difficult, as a father, to see my girls grow up and know that I will lose them soon. But like you, Kitty, I find that I cannot deny them a chance to be happy. Besides, did you not tell Tommy that he would not be losing sisters but gaining brothers? I suppose that means I will be gaining more sons…and that is a thought that greatly comforts me." Looking at Georgiana thoughtfully, he added, "And it seems that I have already gained another daughter as well!"

As Georgiana flushed in pleasure, Mary's gentle voice ran out from the doorway, "I am glad you think so, Papa, for we already look upon Georgie as one of our own."

Mr. Bennet chuckled, "So I see! Well, then it seems our family is expanding rather than shrinking. How can I be upset with such a wonderful thought in mind? Very well, I will allow you girls to carry forth your plans. I will not interfere, unless I feel that I really ought to, for I trust in your sensible judgment. I am so proud of the way you look after one another. And I think, had your mother lived, she would be proud as well. Indeed, I think she would have happily conspired with you!"

Mary gave her father a hug, "Thank you Papa; your approval means much to us."

Kitty nodded in agreement from her place next to Georgiana. Mr. Bennet looked at his girls with misty eyes but then cleared his throat, "I must be growing sentimental in my old age. I will leave you girls to your task and go examine my own fishing gear. It would not do to lose to Tommy once again in catching the largest fish!"

Unaware of the important conversation taking place in Longbourn, the elder two Bennet's were trying their hardest to keep from laughing at the mind-boggling speed with which Tommy fired questions at Darcy and Bingley.

When the young boy finally paused for a breath after asking the other two gentlemen whether they thought fish had their own language and if they did whether it was possible to learn to speak it, Elizabeth could not help but let her laughter escape, "Tommy! What a question! I really must speak to Kitty about the manners of stories she creates for you…Or maybe you no longer need her tales but can surpass them with your own?"

Tommy merely grinned cheekily at her teasing and instead turned to Darcy, "Do you ever tell stories, Mr. Darcy?"

Darcy smiled indulgently down at him, "I am not in the habit of creating fanciful narratives, but my sister does greatly enjoy the impressions I do of people I meet."

His eyes shining brightly, Tommy looked at Darcy pleadingly, "Oh, please, will you not show me?"

Taking a moment to consider, Darcy glanced at Elizabeth with a playful look, gave Tommy a small wink, cleared his throat, and repeated as best he could a few words from their initial meeting.

Delighted at the uncanny likeness of Darcy's voice and tone to that of his favorite sister, Tommy clapped merrily even as Elizabeth turned to look at Darcy in mock indignation, "Though I remain impressed with your particular talent, Mr. Darcy, I do not know if I enjoy being the subject of your sport…I see you have already corrupted my brother into your accomplice in teasing me!" Turning in with mock severity to her younger brother, Elizabeth added, "Though maybe it is Tommy who has corrupted you!"

Knowing her words were in jest, Tommy's grin only widened even more, causing Elizabeth to retaliate by trying to tickle him. Shrieking with laughter, Tommy danced away and then turned to run forward on the path, calling over his should, "Come Lizzie, Mr. Darcy! See if you can catch me!"

Turning to her companions apologetically, Elizabeth curtsied briefly, "I do beg your forgiveness for the impropriety of my future actions. But I cannot allow this challenge to go unheeded!"

To her surprise, Darcy nodded his head and said, "Have no fear Miss Elizabeth, I do believe I will join you in catching the little troublemaker."

Laughing merrily, both turned to chase after Tommy's retreating figure.

Left behind on the path, Bingley and Jane found themselves quite alone in their more sedate pace. Eager to see if his impressions of the lady were correct, Bingley broke the companionable silence, "Have you ever wondered, Miss Bennet, if your brother possesses some elfish heritage? I do not believe I have ever met a lad as curious as he…nor one with such obvious enjoyment of life and such power over those around him. Why, he even influenced Darcy to break convention and run after him!"

Jane chuckled lightly, "Tommy is a very special boy, to be sure. I think somehow all the best attributes of my sister are combined in him. He has Lizzie's intelligence, Kitty's imagination, and Mary's sweetness. He even shares in Papa's strong dedication to family. For all that he is but seven, he is adamant about protecting my sisters and me."

Turning to her inquisitively, Bingley asked, "And what of yourself, Miss Bennet?"

Jane blushed slightly, "I…I do not know for I had not thought much on the matter."

"Then allow me to share my impressions, if you would not mind, Miss Bennet." At Jane's nod, Bingley continued, "I believe that young Mr. Bennet is perhaps too young for the attribute he received from you to be obvious. But I do think as he grows older, he will have a strong sense of considerations for the thoughts and feelings of others. Though Miss Elizabeth has no doubt played a role in stressing such a lesson in interacting with your tenants, I believe it is from you that he will have learned to curb his own selfishness. I know we are as yet relative strangers, but I feel that you are one with a strong sense of duty. Indeed, I believe we are not dissimilar in that we have hidden parts of ourselves in service to the responsibilities on our shoulders. In giving to others, sometimes you wonder if you have also lost yourself."

As Bingley shared his analysis, Jane felt as though she was standing in the midst of a maelstrom of emotions. Surprise at Bingley's seriousness mixed with startlement from his insight and disbelief at his boldness in sharing his thoughts. Above it all, a tenuous hope began to unfold that perhaps this gentleman was one who wished to look beyond her outward beauty and look at her very soul. Quite unbidden, Jane found herself rooted to her spot and her eyes grow suspiciously bright.

Bingley looked at her kindly and, seeing the tears beginning to form, quickly reached for his handkerchief. In dismay, he was quick to apologize, "Miss Bennet! I am sorry. Please forgive me for my directness. I had not intended to offend you or cause you any great sadness."

Taking his offered handkerchief gladly, Jane made an effort to smile, "Please. You need not apologize, Mr. Bingley. I fear it is I who should do so…You must think me quite silly now. I do not mean to react in this way…I am usually not prone to so much emotion. 'Tis only that you have managed to discover my secret, one I fear even my sisters have yet to see."

Bingley shook his head, "No, Miss Bennet, I think you are many things, but silly is definitely not one of your attributes."

Jane clutched the handkerchief tightly at his response, the sense of hope growing within her. "I do wonder at your insight, for all that you have said is true. I care deeply for my family and I would not trade these past few years for anything. But sometimes, I wonder at who I have become. Lizzie has her books, Mary her music, and Kitty her art. But I…I do not know what talent I possess or even what hobbies I may wish to pursue. My love for my family has defined me so such that I do not know how to define myself without them."

Looking at her with a gentle gaze, Bingley responded, "I think your talent may be more intangible than that of your sisters. But it is not any less than theirs. Indeed, one may say that what you possess is the most priceless one…for you possess your heart, Miss Bennet. And a true desire to nurture and care for those you love. You say your love for your family defines you, have you not thought that perhaps your love for your family is what unifies them and gives such unity meaning?"

Jane smiled gratefully at Bingley, greatly comforted by his words. Her emotions now calm again, she noticed the impropriety of being alone with a gentleman and softly remarked, "I thank you Mr. Bingley. But perhaps we should resume our walking. Else Lizzie and Mr. Darcy might wonder that we had lost our ways."

Happy at the return of her good humor, Bingley nodded obligingly and the two walked on in companionable silence once more.

It was Jane who broke the silence once more when she gathered her courage to ask, "And what of you, Mr. Bingley? In what way have you hidden yourself?"

A sad smile hovered around his lips as he thought on her question. "I do not know how much you have been informed of my situation, Miss Bennet, but I must admit that my sisters and I are the first Bingley's to enjoy the comforts of our current wealth. When he passed, shortly after I entered Cambridge, my father's greatest wish was for me to bring new meaning to our name, a task that I may have been remiss in completing. But as the younger brother, I fear I was always more inclined to act in such a way as was expected of me. My sister Caroline, in particular, is of a rather insistent temperament such that in order to keep the peace, I learned to claim the role of a cheerful fool. I suppose I became so practiced in such behaviors that it became almost second nature. Of course, I will not deny that it has its uses as other tradesmen always tend to underestimate me and I retain the element of surprise to the great benefit of the Bingley fortune. But sometimes, I grow weary of hiding. Thus, I am glad of having friends such as Darcy, who abhors all manners of disguise, no matter how benign, and insist that I stay true to myself. Still, it does weigh on me that I cannot be so open with my own family…I greatly envy you your closeness with your sisters."

Jane's brows furrowed at she caught the loneliness in Bingley's words and voiced her observation out loud, adding, "But Georgie, that is, Miss Darcy, said that you are quite fond of company. Surely there are others with whom you feel comfortable being yourself as well."

Bingley shook his head. "Alas. Though I do enjoy social gatherings, sometimes I can feel alone even in the midst of a crowd. Though we may seem different outwardly, Darcy and I are similar in that we find few that we are willing to trust and in whom to confide. But for him and now your uncle and the good Colonel, I have few confidantes. Perhaps my experiences in trade have marred my general optimism and led me to ponder at the motives of all those I meet."

"Then I must thank you for the courtesy you have extended to me in terms of giving me your trust."

"I do not know why, but somehow I feel comfortable with you as I have not felt so with anyone else. Forgive me my boldness, for I know we have only recently met in person, but I feel as though our souls recognize one another." Smiling ruefully, Bingley added, "I fear I am being fanciful once again."

Though greatly startled at Bingley's declaration, Jane could not deny, in her own mind, that she shared in a similar feeling. She had not known that a piece was missing in her life until Bingley revealed his insight into her insecurities. The hope she had felt grew all the stronger as she dared to admit that perhaps this gentleman is one on whom she could depend to be her strength. So, it was with a shy smile that she replied softly, "No, Mr. Bingley, I do not believe you are being fanciful at all."

Gazing with bright eyes at her blushing but beaming face, Bingley felt his own heart lighten. Quite unknowingly, both stopped again on the path and focused instead on the hope and honesty in each others' eyes. The sound of rushing footsteps broke their trance as Tommy made his presence known.

Looking curiously between his eldest sister and Mr. Bingley, Tommy nonetheless decided not to comment. Instead, he insisted, "Come, Jane, Lizzie and Mr. Darcy already set up the blanket up at the top, beneath that great big tree. I had almost forgotten how tall the Mount is…why I think you can see all the way to London from there!"

Chuckling at his enthusiasm, Jane and Bingley allowed themselves to be pulled forward around the last bend in the path.

Seating themselves beside Elizabeth and Darcy, they dutifully surveyed the surrounding countryside and looked at the landmarks Tommy assiduously pointed out, particularly the stream on the other side where the gentlemen were to fish later that day. When the lad paused for breath, Bingley commented, "Hertfordshire is indeed a beautiful country…one can feel quite at peace surrounded by the rolling hills, the sprawling meadows, and the bubbling brooks."

Darcy laughed, "Why Bingley, I had no idea you were a poet!"

Bingley just smiled serenely and said, with his eyes on Jane, "Perhaps I just needed the right inspiration."

Elizabeth noted his look and the corresponding blush on her sisters' cheeks and felt her own eyebrows rise. Resolving to speak to Jane on the events that had transpired but knowing of Jane's inherent shyness, Elizabeth sought to divert the attention from her sister. "I must own that this is one of my favorite locations in the region. I fear when I was younger, I would often escape here to avoid the various tasks given to me."

Darcy turned to her, surprised at her comment, "Oh? You mean you were not always the responsible young lady I know you to be?"

Jane chuckled, "It is surprising, is it not? But I fear Lizzie is correct, thought perhaps it is because those particular tasks were not much to her liking. Mama always did despair of Lizzie's lack of interest in ribbons and laces and her inability to sew in a straight line."

Laughing, Elizabeth nodded, "I fear I was not a very proper young lady."

Tommy, who had been inspecting the large tree under the shade of which the group sat, cried out in surprise, "Lizzie! Is this your name I see here?!"

Rising to join him, Lizzie traced her fingers over the uneven 'E.B' curved into the side at the height of a young child. "Why yes, Tommy, it is."

The rest of the group joined them in appreciation of the mark as Elizabeth explained, "I must have made this when I was about your age…I think Mama was complaining of her nerves again, Mary was just learning to play the pianoforte, and Kitty was crying over something or other. Jane must have been trying to sooth her. But I just could not stand the noise any longer and so escaped out here."

Darcy commented, "It is a long way for a child to go, Miss Elizabeth."

Elizabeth just smiled in reply, "Even then, I was quite the adventurer. Though I do remember being so exhausted that I fell asleep leaning against the trunk. Fortunately, Sir Lucas and his son found me on their way to fish in the stream and returned me to Longbourn before anyone noticed my absence. And to think, now Mr. Lucas is courting Kitty! How quickly time passes." Breaking the pensive silence as the group returned to their picnic blanket, she asked, "And what of you, Mr. Darcy, were you always the proper gentleman you are now?"

Bingley chuckled, "I would have said, before today, that I had a difficult time imagining Darcy as a child. For all his good humor, Darcy has always carried himself with such dignity that I could not imagine a young Darcy soiling his clothing in climbing trees and such."

Jane asked with a smile, "You speak as though from experience, Mr. Bingley."

Bingley nodded, "I can only be frank and say that I was the bane of my sisters' efforts to have proper tea-parties with their dolls. But it was much more fun to pretend to be a giant than to sit and listen to their idle chatter."

To which Darcy said with raised eyebrows, "Now that image I can easily picture. As for misadventures of my own childhood, I am afraid our housekeeper at Pemberley would gladly tell such tales should you choose to visit. But I had the happy excuse of not being alone in my adventures…George and I could claim equal blame for much of our misdeeds."

Jane asked curiously, "George?" But seeing the quick shadow that passed Darcy's face, she was quick to regret her inquiry. "Forgive me, I had not meant to pry into your memories."

Sensing Darcy's reluctance to reply, Bingley explained softly, "George Wickham is the son of the late Mr. Darcy's steward. Indeed, Darcy's father was Wickham's godfather and raised Darcy and Wickham almost as brothers. Sadly, Wickham has not turned out to be the gentleman old Mr. Darcy hoped he would be. I fear Darcy still blames himself, though wrongly of course, for not playing a larger role in helping guide Wickham along the right path."

As he spoke, Darcy silently stood and moved closer to the tree where Tommy was in search of a rock to carve his own initials into the bark, next to his sister's. Upon hearing Bingley's tale, Elizabeth likewise stood and moved to join him. Seeing the tense set of his shoulders and the furrow between his brows, she surprised even herself by taking one of his hands in hers. Startled at the gentle pressure of her hand, Darcy turned to look at her and made to speak, only to have Elizabeth shake her head.

"We each have our crosses to bear, Mr. Darcy, you needn't speak of yours if it brings you such grief. Though I now understand your question regarding Tommy's interactions with the tenant children better…I can only imagine that Mr. Wickham was one who came to resent the difference in your stations."

Darcy smiled sadly, "I do not know if it is grief for George I feel, or merely sympathy for my father's disappointments. I knew quite early the manner of man George had become and yet, there was naught I could do to turn him from his path. Sometimes I look at Bingley and even Richard and I see the man that George, had he put forth the effort, could have been… I think it is also for our lost friendship that I mourn. Despite the gap between us now, we had at one time been the best of playmates."

Elizabeth shook her head, "That may be so, but we each also choose our own paths. I do not know the particulars of what occurred, and I have no wish to know unless it would ease your burden, but I do know that you are not responsible for his actions any more than I am responsible for that of my sisters, no matter our closeness…Do not blame yourself, for such behavior only absolves Mr. Wickham of his part in his crimes. You should not be obliged to shoulder the blame for something he has done."

Darcy let out a deep sigh at her insight into his emotions. "Thank you, Miss Elizabeth. I think both Richard and Georgie have been trying to tell me so for a long while now…"

Elizabeth nodded in acknowledgement of their wisdom, "But they are family and perhaps too close to the situation. Whereas I am an outsider who has the benefit of objectivity. I just hope that you will begin to believe in our words."

Quite unconsciously, he lifted her hand and pressed upon it a soft kiss. "I can only promise to try."

Blushing at the tenderness of the moment, Elizabeth squeezed his hand to let him know that she was not offended at his breach in propriety before withdrawing her hand. "And I know you to be a man of honor, so I trust in the strength of such a promise. Now come, perhaps we should lend Tommy a hand, he does seem to be struggling so with that rock of his. Do you perhaps have a pocket knife that you can lend him for his task?"

Though Darcy admitted that he did not think to bring his pocketknife with him, Bingley did when applied to, which did much to earn him great favor from Tommy. Indeed, once he finished his task, with the help of that gentleman, Tommy turned to him and said seriously, out of hearing of his sisters, "I like you, Mr. Bingley, almost as much as I like Mr. Darcy. In fact, if you wish to be better friends with my sisters, I would gladly give both of you leave."

As Bingley blinked in surprise at the insightfulness of the young boy, Darcy understood the gravity of his comment. Nodding solemnly, Darcy said, "Thank you, Mister Bennet. I promise to be a good friend to your sister." An action which Bingley, recalling Jane's words regarding Tommy's protectiveness, was quick to replicate.

Tommy nodded somberly before his youth exerted itself once more. With a wide grin, he exclaimed, "Oh look! I can see Papa and Mary and Kitty and Georgie on the path! They are just in time as my stomach is starting to make funny noises!" So saying, he turned to wave at the figures making their way up to the summit. Chuckling at his infectious cheerfulness, Darcy and Bingley joined him as he made his way towards the blanket to share his observation with Jane and Elizabeth.