Hi :) I did get the energy to post another chapter, yay! Here it is! Hope you'll enjoy.
Disclaimer: I still don't own anything other than my own imagination.
Dean woke up the next day not really being sure how he got home to his dorm room. He had been way to drunk. Had he even gone to that lesson, hadn't he? And if so how had he ended up in his bed? He didn't go to classes that Thursday, his hangover was way too massive.
At about the time school ended he heard a knocking on his door. His throat got tight and he got all nervous. "Dean let me in". Oh, it was just Sammy. He sighed in relief and yet he couldn't help being a little disappointed. Dean got up and opened the door for him. "What do you want, bitch?". Sammy just rolled his eyes and pushed his way past him. "What have you been doing all week? The teachers keep asking me what happened to you". Dean has a hard time answering, because he couldn't remember most of it, because he had been drunk more than half of the time. Dean tried to think about a lie to get him out of this pinch. He just couldn't it was like his brain had been washed out with the alcohol. "I don't know Sammy... I... I just don't know" Dean dropped down on his bed feeling completely lost. The last thing he ever wanted was to rant about all of his crap to Sammy. He had made a promise to himself, that he wouldn't load his shit onto Sammy.
"I'm so fucked Sammy..." Sam couldn't comprehend the sight in front of him. Sam had never seen Dean cry, never. Dean didn't cry, but here he was tears streaming down his face. He was practically sobbing.
"What happened, Dean? You know you can tell me everything!" Dean didn't say anything, he still didn't wanted to unload his crap onto Sammy. He didn't think it to be fair. "Dean, remember, you promised! You promised me that if something happened, you would tell me" Sam sounded kind of hurt. He was hurt because Dean didn't seem to trust him with the secret he seemed to be carrying.
"I just... Sammy I still can't talk about it... I just... It's scares the shit out of me..." Dean sobbed the last few words into his hands. "It feels... How I feel Sammy... How I feel... Inside me... I wish I couldn't feel a thing... I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing" Dean was a sobbing mess. Sam Couldn't handle it. He sat down beside his brother, not knowing what to do. He knew how Dean hated chick flick moments, so he didn't think a hug would be in order, but he looked like he needed it. He ended up settling for a hand on Dean's shoulder.
"Dean, there is nothing you should ever be too embarrassed over too tell me or ashamed of or anything like that. You know that. I will love you, no matter what you do." Dean couldn't help but to chuckle at that. Sammy didn't even know what was going on, but he was there, no matter what.
"Don't tell dad" Dean led out a whisper. A fearful whisper, like that would be the end of the world. "Of course Dean, if that's want you want" Sam waited for Dean to answer, giving him time to get himself together.
"I... think I'm falling in love..." when Dean said the word love, he flinches as if he wasn't ready to hear himself admit that. "It's... It's with one of the teachers... It's... It's ruining me, Sammy... I can't... I just..." Dean was unable to continue and Sammy hadn't even heard the most important part.
Sam was completely speechless for a minute. He would never had thought that he would ever hear his brother utter those words, ever. "Dean, you can get around this. Have you told her your feelings? Have you... talked to her outside of school?... Have you.. have you..." Sam came to a halt, really not wanting to know if he had... with one of the teachers.
"I haven't, not really, anyway... Yes, I have... And yes we have... " Dean answers. It's hard to gather the courage to tell Sammy. To tell him that his brother is a faggot. "Does she feel the same way?" Sammy asks. He really couldn't see the problem if they already had... Then there must be something between them.
"HE does." Dean says breathlessly, almost inaudible. "Or... At least he did, I think. He told me and... I didn't tell him back, I just... I.. I couldn't" Dean swallows and looks up at Sammy with vulnerable eyes. "But what's the problem if he..." Sam starts. Then his jaw drops open and then he notices the sex he was using. He said he. He was talking about a male teacher. Now he knew what the problem was. The biggest problem in this equation was not Dean, it was their dad.
"Dean... I... It would never bother me who you choose to love and be with I hope you know this much. As I said before, I will love you no matter what you do." He meant every word of it and Dean could hear it and he was thankful for having such a great brother.
"I'm also pretty sure that... with some time dad could... get used to it." Sam isn't sure if he's saying this for Dean to believe him or to convince himself about it. Probably both.
Dean's tears has stopped falling with Sammy's reaction to the whole thing. Dean is so relieved. Now he knows that he won't just be banished from his family and Sammy would never know just how much that means to him.
It hits him like a sledgehammer, he then remembers just what he did that Friday. What he had done to Castiel. How cruel he had been. "Sammy, I... I think... I think I fucked it all up... I think I've lost him... I was too scared... I was so cruel... I just... I couldn't... I... I was so afraid of being... being gay, that I hurt him... real bad... I'm not sure he would ever forgive me."
"Which teacher are we talking about?" Sam asks. He had to do something to get his brother out of the despair he was in at the moment.
Thank you for reading! :) Really hope you are all doing well! OMG I know it's today that SPN season 12 episode one airs in the US but, sadly, I'm from Denmark, so I won't be able, in any way, to see it before tomorrow. I can't even describe how much I look forward to seeing the new season!
Love you all! 3