A/N: Here's the next chapter you guys! I hope you guys like it and review for it. I'm almost out of school so I will be finishing this story soon. I have one more week of school and then I'm free!
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Nothing at all.
Chapter 21: New things in our way
Kagome reached her room and closed the door, locking it behind her. She sank to the floor, the sobs coming quickly. It was hard to hold back, and she didn't want to anymore. She wanted to give up, to lose hope and to stop living. Why hadn't she just died when Inuyasha had left? Why couldn't she just do that now? But she couldn't, no, because she still held onto that small ray of hope that was in her heart. She hated being this way, but she didn't know what to do.
Her friends came and knocked on the door, but she ignored them. Didn't they understand that the one she wanted to see was Inuyasha? She glanced at the window and noticed that the sky was getting dark again. How long had she been in there, crying? Not even time bothered her, because it was meaningless now. Was there no point of living? She hadn't eaten a thing because she couldn't bring herself to eat. Who could, when your other half was gone?
Suddenly, the door clicked open and Kouga appeared in the semi-darkness. His face was strangely blank as he walked towards her, pulling her up. Kagome was surprised at the hug he greeted her with, but something in her snapped. Her brother was worried for her, and she realized what a fool she had been. She had only been thinking about herself, her feelings. She didn't even bother to consider that there were still people that loved her, that wanted her to be happy. Kagome hugged her brother back and the tears fell effortlessly again, but this time, when they stopped, there were none inside of her anymore.
"Kagome, please," Kouga spoke. "We just want you to be OK."
Kagome sniffled. "It's so hard, Kou, it's so hard. I feel like my heart has been ripped out and torn in two. I don't know what I should do. But please, understand me, how would you feel if Ayame left you?"
"I know, but you can't keep living like you've died or something."
"Yeah, I just figured that out."
Kouga pulled away. "Wanna eat? Mom made your favorite, homemade takoyaki." He smiled.
I nodded, smiling. "Ok. I am bit hungry."
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It was hard, don't get me wrong, to pull myself up again. Every night, when I went to bed, I was reminded that he wasn't beside me, that I wouldn't see his beautiful face anymore. It was at these moments that I felt the most vulnerable, but with the help of my friends and family, I got better. I found that I still had things to live for. How could I expect to fulfill my dream of touching people's hearts with my music if I stopped caring for my own?
Nevertheless, I continued song-writing. I found inspiration in the hurt that I suffered from, and the songs were deep from my heart. I still haven't shown them to anybody, but I will soon enough. We're on the bus again, and yes, it's hard, but I have Sango and Ayame with me.
Ayame poked me, pulling me out of my thoughtful state. "What's with the blank face?"
I shrugged and continued editing my newest song. "Just thinking, Ayame."
"About?"
I rolled my eyes and showed her the notebook in my head. "About my songs, Ayame. What else would I think about?"
Ayame shrugged. "You tell me."
I sighed, closing my notebook. "You don't have to worry about so much anymore. I'm okay."
Ayame surprised me by jumping on me, hugging me tight. "Oh, Kagome, it's because I love you so much that I worry!"
I laughed, trying to push her off. "I think I get it, Ayame! Besides, you're 115 pound love is hurting."
"What's all the fuss about?" Sango appeared from the front seat, soda in one hand. She leaned on the wall nearest to her and chuckled at the scene before her. "Are you guys play-fighting again?"
Ayame jumped up and sat down on the couch we had been sitting on. "No, I was just trying to get a look at the songs that Kagome doesn't want us to see." She then magically produced the notebook I had sworn was still in my hand. "And I got them."
"Hey!" I yelled, trying to grab my notebook. Ayame held it up in the air and yelled, "Keep away, keep away!"
Sango plucked it from her hands and skimmed through it, but handed it back to me. "Could you sing some of it for us?"
I shook my head. "You'll hear it at the concert tonight. Here are the music sheets." I gave them the sheets I had just figured out to them. "I trust that you'll learn it quickly."
Sango sipped her soda again, glancing at her music. "You know we will."
I smiled, opening my notebook again. "Great. We'll see how the concert goes."
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I was nervous for the first time in a long time. It wasn't even time for the concert, but I felt the butterflies in my stomach dance around. I was standing on the stage in front of the mic while the stage crew set up for my performance.
But why was I so nervous? I guess it was because of what I would be going to sing. No one knew, but the songs that I had written recently were stemmed from my experience after Inuyasha left. I winced slightly thinking about him. That was a month and a half ago, but it still left me feeling the open scar that he had left behind.
My songs reflected my own feelings, at different stages of course. I just wouldn't know how my friends or my family would react to it once they actually heard the words from my lips. Would they think that I was still hung up? Would they try to make me see a shrink? I didn't think so, but I still doubted. My songs are just that. Songs. Every song has a different meaning, and my songs were actually written so that I could get my feelings out of me before I snapped. It was my creative expression, so to speak.
"Kagome?" Sango suddenly appeared behind me. I turned to face her, my façade putting up nicely.
"Hey, Sango. I was just checking the microphone. It's been a while since we've had a concert, don't you think?"
Sango hesitated, as if she knew I was just saying something to avoid another subject all-together. At least she humored me. "It has, hasn't it? I hope I haven't lost my touch."
I shook my head. "You'll never lose your touch, Sango. Both you and Ayame are great musicians."
Sango smiled and was about to turn away when she suddenly went turned back and hugged me. "And you're a great friend, Kagome. Ayame and I will always be here for you, OK? Always."
I couldn't help but smile softly as I hugged one of my best friend's back. "I know, Sango. I know."
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It's been a month and a half, so how did I end up in the same city as Kagome's concert tonight? Call it mate-intuition. I don't think I can be more than a thousand mile radius away from her or something weird like that. It also might be that I can't stand to be away from her for so long. I mean, watching her is different than actually meeting her right?
My bag is full of her merchandise at the moment. I couldn't resist in buying them. I had to, because if I didn't, I'd go crazy. I kept passing the posters that announced her arrival and where she would be singing at. There were so many of them that I naturally followed the patter until I was at the concert hall. I still had a few hours. A little snooping wouldn't hurt, would it?
I walked the empty halls carefully. There was still a chance I would see her, being this close. Why was a I taking such a risk anyway? If she even had one glimpse of me, she'd fall apart. And I would feel it, know it and pay for it with my own heart. Still, something kept me from leaving. Being apart from her hurt and it was strange, but as I moved into the concert hall, I started feeling better. Like seeing her was the right thing to do. I maneuvered into a smaller hall, stepping back immediately when I saw who was standing there.
Kagome.
She looked deep in thought, as if contemplating something. She gripped a notebook in her hands, her song notebook if I wasn't mistaken. I probably wasn't. No wonder I had felt so much better coming down this hallway. My mate, the other half of me was right around the corner literally. I chanced a look again, if only to see her beauty before I stole off into the crowd.
Bad move.
She turned around, but I had moved away quickly. Damn it, she had probably sensed me. I heard footsteps and I knew she was walking towards me. I walked quicker now, not caring if she could hear me. One look at me and she would crumble, I know it. If that look on her face when she had looked at her songs hadn't shown it, then I was a monkey's uncle.
I had to get away; I couldn't be with her anymore. I had quit deluding myself that we could actually be something. She had to move on too, even if I never forgot her throughout my whole existence.
She just had to.
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(Kagome's POV)
I saw him.
I knew I saw him. The flicker of silver, of his old cap, that couldn't have been my imagination. It couldn't have been. I followed the sounds of racing footsteps, wondering why he just wouldn't stop and talk to me. Wasn't he hurting as much as I was? Didn't he want to end it?
I rounded the corner but saw no one there. I ran down the hall, jumping the small set of stairs. I heard the pounding of steps again and headed off in that direction. My heart raced, my blood pulsed at the sight of him. I could feel something tug at me inside. I knew I could follow him forever, but suddenly I stopped.
What was I doing? This was exactly the reason why my family and friends couldn't leave me alone or stop worrying about me. I was becoming delusional, dammit! Everything I kept seeing reminded me of him. If I didn't let go of the fact that he probably wasn't coming back, I would go insane.
Nodding to myself, I briskly walked back to my dressing room. Ayame and Sango were probably wondering where I had run off to. Hopefully, I could think up a good excuse by then to tell them.
Still, I couldn't help glancing behind me as I left.
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(Inuyasha's POV)
I sighed in relief as she walked back. It had looked like she had realized something crucial, something important enough to suspend her search from me. For a second, I wanted to know what the hell was more important than me, but I held back the flow of jealousy. I was no longer entitled to that emotion towards Kagome anymore; any type of attachment had to be severed or else she would never walk free.
Walking away, I found a nice hiding spot that would be great to listen to my music before going down to sit in the seats. Yeah, I hadn't paid for any tickets but I never had before anyway. I put on the headphones and drowned out my thoughts with Kagome's voice, which I was now finally going to hear out loud again, once more, tonight.
I wondered what kind of songs she was going to sing today. Were they old songs or new ones she had just written? I hoped for the latter, since it would be a little more exciting. I knew all the old songs, especially the one she had sung for me in mind. Sometimes, I could pretend that she was singing it to me again, and that nothing had changed. In reality, everything had changed.
It was time to stop wishing, to stop fathoming. Nothing I could do would make me deserving of her love. Nothing would make me go back, where I was subject to hurt her more than she deserved. She especially deserved better than me.
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(Kagome's POV)
"Where did you run off to?" Sango asked, glancing at me as I came through the doorway of the dressing room.
I tried to respond as casually as I could. "Oh, just practicing my new songs."
Ayame and Sango glanced at each other, almost as if they didn't believe me. I crossed my fingers behind my back and was relieved when neither of them pursued the topic.
"Kagome," Ayame asked, looking through the rack for an outfit. "Are you sure you're up for another concert? I mean, you could always cancel if you don't feel like it."
I shook my head, sitting down, grabbing my song book and flipping to the new songs. "No, I couldn't. I'm ready." I smiled at my friends.
Sango smiled, pulling out the makeup and setting things up. "That's great, Kagome." She paused and then asked, "Has anyone seen Rin yet? She said she'd be here before the concert and if I'm not mistaken," She glanced at her watch. "It's in two hours."
I spoke up. "She called me and said she'd be hear in half an hour," I sighed, rolling my eyes and closed my book. "Of course, but that was an three hours ago."
"Where's she flying in from?" Ayame asked, now looking through a box of nail polish she owned. Yes, a box. I shook my head.
"No clue."
"Well, we've done without her before." Sango sighed. "But it's never the same when it's only three of us."
Ayame and I nodded, missing our youngest friend. She was probably spending lots of her time with Sesshoumaru. I wondered if they had mated or something. The thought made me feel strangely hollow and lonely again. I shook my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. If I even had one thought of Inuyasha, I would be consumed of nothing else. Besides, I had a concert to perform.
I stood up and walked to the door, deciding to walk a little and exercise my vocal chords. Then at least my lie to my friends would be partially true. Before I could open the door, though, it flew open, with an winded Rin in its wake.
"I'm on time, I'm on time!" She shouted, pointing to her watch and frantically looking at all of us. For one moment, all us just stared at her, Rin panting, silently.
Then we all laughed.
Rin was mortified as we laughed, her expression becoming like a pouty child's. "Stop laughing at me, you guys." She stomped her foot like belligerent two-year old. We laughed even more.
I was the first one to come back to my senses. I enveloped Rin in a tight hug. "Oh, Rin, you're just so silly sometimes!" I pulled back. "It's great that you made it."
"Yeah!" Sango added, finally cured of her laughing fit. Ayame, though, was still at it in her little corner. "Without you, it's not the same."
Rin smiled. "Thanks you guys. We got held back because Sesshoumaru had a couple of things to pack and give you to you, Kagome." She jabbed a finger behind her. "Sesshy is in the hall. He needs to talk to you."
I glanced at my friends, who tactfully started to pick up the pace. I rolled my eyes and said. "I'll be back."
Walking out into the hallway, it didn't take me long to find Sesshoumaru. Even now, I couldn't help but think of Inuyasha as I saw his brother, who looked almost exactly like him. My heart clenched, but I took a deep breath.
Sesshoumaru, of course, looked the same as ever. Sometimes I wondered if he didn't express him emotions because he didn't want any worry lines, but that really couldn't be it. Everyone knew that demons lived a youthful life, never really aging.
"Naraku has indeed gone missing from the prison he was put into." Sesshoumaru always did like to get straight to the point. "I found that his records were also missing." He gave me a series of papers and spoke as I went through them. "I traced him to the Bahamas, where he was vacationing with your sister—"
"Wait a minute!" I stopped him. "Didn't I ask you to look for Onigumo?"
Sesshoumaru sighed, the most I've ever heard him do. He grabbed a paper from my hand, pointing towards it. "Naraku's full name is Onigumo Naraku. He just changed appearances and switched names."
"So he was in the Bahamas?"
"Yes," Sesshoumaru nodded. "Witnesses to the accident said that the car that ran over Kikyo was a black Honda of last year. Naraku currently owns one of the same make and year."
I nodded to myself. "So I was right! Naraku had been trying to hurt her, but why?"
Sesshoumaru shrugged. "I can only give you the facts, Kagome."
I nodded. "Thank you so much, Sessh. Your help has been invaluable."
"Thank you." He nodded, but continued. "For the record, I am sorry about what's happened to you and Inuyasha."
I was so surprised that he would bring it up so easily. Everyone tended to tread on eggshells when they were near me and never spoke his name aloud. Instead, though, I smiled. "It's alright. Things will work out."
"If it can be of any consolation, I believe that Inuyasha is only doing what he thinks is right and good for you." He then gulped, and I wondered if he had become nervous. The thought almost made me laugh. "Of course, that doesn't excuse him for the fact that he's an idiot."
I laughed at that. "Thank you for your concern, Sessh. You're a true brother."
He nodded. "Whenever I can help." He turned and walked out of the hallway without a glance back.
I sighed as I gathered the papers in my hand. Sesshoumaru must've noticed my scent by now, so he knew what I meant by calling him my brother. It didn't even faze him, but then again nothing really did. I wondered how Rin put up with it sometimes.
I shook my head. Walking the halls, I began to sing my songs, low in volume.
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(Inuyasha's POV)
It was time. I glanced at my watch and decided to start finding a seat from where I could watch Kagome, but she couldn't see me. I found the perfect spot and changed my hat just in case she recognized it in that fleeting moment where she had seen me.
The seats were filled in less than an hour. Nobody seemed to be fazed by me and were all pumped up and excited for the new songs that Kagome had written. I noticed that most of the people there were young girls, around middle and high school age. Kagome had once said that she hoped she could touch people with her music and I could see it in their eyes.
They looked hopeful as they took their seats and their conversations were easily heard by me. I heard how they tried to dress, act and even smile like Kagome! These girls were real fan girls of her. Leaning back against my chair for the show to start, I smiled.
They couldn't have had a better role model.
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(Kagome's POV)
It was almost time. Kouga gave us a thumps up as we were given our cue of five minutes. I felt elated and butterflies fluttered in my stomach with reckless abandon. Nothing I did calmed them. Not when you were going to pour your heart out the way I was going to tonight. I stood up to the microphone as I saw the others take their spots.
Rin smiled at me, and gave me thumbs up. "I really like the music for the songs!" She said, just as Kouga gave us our one minute cue.
"Break a leg, you guys." I smiled, hearing the announcer say our name. The crowd roared and my stomach started to knot like crazy. What could I do?
"On your marks," Sango started. I immediately recognized the before-concert ritual we used to do before we had made it big. It always helped calm me.
"Get ready," Ayame smiled.
"Set," Rin strummed her bass quietly.
I smiled as my turn came and as the curtains raised. "Go."
The crowd before us was enormous. Our biggest one yet. The first difference I noticed, apart from the size, was that many of the fans in their seats were girls, young girls. They stood on their feet, waved their posters and stomped their feet. I had touched these girls in some way to make them love me, without me even having met them. If I could touch them, then surely I could touch Inuyasha when he heard these songs.
I smiled. I could do this. "Hello you guys! The band and I are really glad to finally be here. We have some never-before-heard songs, just for you guys. They're very special to me so I hope you enjoy it."
I nodded to the others and they turned to their first sheet. I knew my songs and the only thing I fervently wished was that Inuyasha was somehow able to hear them.
Ayame and Rin simultaneously started together, even when they had never practiced this all-together. Sango came in loudly, her guitar commanding and then let it drop down again. Ayame also did the same thing, leaving Rin's bass to finish the intro before I started to sing softly.
Maybe if my hearts stops beating,
It won't hurt this much.
And never will I have to answer
again to anyone.
There had been a point, where I really wanted to just curl up and die. There were so many questions, so many unanswered that I shut it all out the first month. I didn't want to answer to anyone at my door and was content in just being shut up in a room. That was when I had first written this song; I modified it after I felt better. Ayame and Sango came back in the next verse, strong as ever and Sango dropped off once more at the end.
Please don't get me wrong . . .
Because I'll never let this go
But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't want to be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you
Woah.
I had never been able to tell Inuyasha what I really felt, that I wanted him with me and that I always wanted to be like his side. And the last full line was true. I didn't know him anymore, because all I had never known was broken and shattered when he left. I put more emotion in the next verse, since it really highlighted my feelings.
One day, you'll get sick of saying
that everything's alright
And by then, I'm sure I'll be pretending
Just like I am tonight
I knew he kept deluding himself that I deserved better than him, but when was he going to realize that he was the best for me? That I couldn't function like a normal human being when I wasn't around him? Everything I was doing, everything I was saying, was just a ruse to get better. I'm pretending I'm fine, when really I could just start crying again.
Please don't get me wrong . . .
Because I'll never let this go,
But I can't find the words to tell you,
I don't want to be alone,
But now I feel like I don't know you,
Let this go,
Let this go!
I sang the last line stronger, hoping I made my point.. This was more of a plea than anything else. If Inuyasha was here or if he could hear, he would know what I would be trying to say. He needed to let go of the delusional thoughts that kept him away from me. He had to. I bobbed my head with the music, walking along the stage. Lowering my voice, I kept singing.
But I'll never let this go . ..
I raised my voice again while Sango came back in, Ayame following on her drums and Rin on her bass, in perfect harmony after the moment of silence.
But I can't find the words to tell you,
I don't want to be alone!
But now I feel like I don't know you,
And I'll never let this go!
But I can't find the words to tell you
That now I feel like I don't know you. . .
I ended the song softly, hoping that my feelings were getting across as I sang them. The crowds erupted in euphoria as they heard my song finish. I felt that they had also felt my feelings. I didn't dare look behind me, not wanting to see the faces of my friends just yet. If they were going to be upset or something like that, they'd have to take it up with me after the concert. I was in my element and rolling. We started the next song after a few seconds. Only Rin's bass opened the song, and then Ayame and Sango joined in.
I think we have an emergency,
I think we have an emergency!
If you thought I'd leave then you were wrong
Because I won't stop holding on,
Maybe Inuyasha thought that if he was gone long enough, that I'd give up on him and move on. But this was specifically written to tell him I wasn't. No matter how long I lived, he'd be the only man I'd love.
So are you listening?
So are you watching me?
I almost laughed at how demanding this is, but this was for the purpose to catch his ear early in the song so that he'd understand what I would be talking about and actually listen.
If you thought I'd leave then you were wrong
Because I won't stop holding on,
This is an emergency,
So are you listening?
And I can't pretend that
I don't see this!
I can't pretend he was never here. My family and friends might think that would help, but not me. My memories of him would never go away, but it was an emergency because they were the only ones at the moment. Sango dropped off for the next lines but came back at the main chorus.
It's really not your fault
No one cares to talk about
Talk about it . . .
Cause I've seen love die,
Way to many times,
When it deserved to be alive.
(Deserved to be alive)
He needed to know, even if it was only in song form, that I didn't blame him, even if everyone else stopped talking about it. No one really did mention it after that day; it's a taboo now. But our love was meant to be, even if before it had died due to the circumstances around it. It deserved to live, no matter what Inuyasha thought of it.
I've seen you cry
Way to many times
when you deserve to be alive
Alive . . .
So you give up every chance you get
Just to feel new again?
I remember he was crying the day when he turned demon. He had felt so rotten, so horrible that I knew he wished he was never born. But this was me saying that I was glad he had been born and that just because he was half-demon didn't mean he was an abomination. On the contrary, I thanked the stars above that he was alive because then I would have never had met him. Plus, he had left so that he wouldn't feel guilty of ruining my life. How could we work this out if he ran at the first sign of danger? Nothing would work if he kept doing that.
I think we have an emergency,
I think we have an emergency!
And you do your best to show me love
but you don't know what love is!
So are you listening?
So are you watching me?
Inuyasha, thinking that love meant to let go, left without asking me how I felt. I don't know how he can call hurting me love, because it's not. He just didn't understand that yet. Like Sesshoumaru had said, he thought he was doing the best for me. Sango's guitar got strong as well as Ayame's drums, dropped low and then came up to normal again.
Well I can't pretend
that I don't see this
It's really not your fault
No one cares to talk about
Talk about it . . .
Cause I've seen love die,
Way to many times,
When it deserved to be alive.
(Deserved to be alive)
I've seen you cry
Way to many times
When you deserve to be alive
Alive!
Scars, they will not . . .
Fade away . . .
My voice was softer and now only Ayame and Rin played. Yes, it's true that we'll never forget what happened that day, but it'll help us grow stronger and love each other more. Inuyasha left before we could even come to that conclusion. Still, I hoped he could come to terms with that after he heard this. The music grew stronger in the instrumental and I could feel my emotion through it. The next part was soft as well and then I would sing louder. The instruments would do the same.
No one cares to talk about I
Talk about it
Cause I've seen love die,
Way to many times,
When it deserved to be alive.
(Deserved to be alive)
I've seen you cry
Way to many times
when you deserve to be alive
Alive . . .
The song ended and my voice faded on the microphone. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw a familiar gleam of silver hair. My heart jumped to my throat but I kept my composure; if Inuyasha was really here, it was better to communicate through my songs since we couldn't talk face to face. The next song was the last song written, shortly after the second one. It was the last song were were going to sing tonight. The song title was what I thought of Inuyasha in my day.
Sango began the song and then Ayame joined in, Rin being right after her. Sango's guitar dropped to a softer sound, with Rin accompanying her.
So this is how it goes?
Well I, I would have never known,
And if it ends today,
Well I'll still say that you shine brighter
Than anyone!
I've never broken up with anybody or been separated in a relationship. Inuyasha was my first for everything, so I don't think I would ever really know what it meant to be apart from someone you love. Even if Inuyasha never comes back, he'll never be any less bright. Sango picked up louder again and Ayame increased her tempo.
No, I think we're taking this to far!
Don't you know that,
it's not this hard?
No it's not this hard!
But if you take what's yours
And I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time
No, not this time
I never wanted him to leave. It wasn't supposed to be this serious, if only he had let me speak with him. Our first dispute and he left? We didn't have to go there; we could still be something, if he wanted to come back. As I started the next verse, Ayame kept the same tempo while Sango dropped off, leaving Rin to lead.
Well, this is not your fault,
But if I'm without you then
I will feel so small . . .
And if you have to go
Well always know that you shine brighter
than anyone does!
Again, I reminded him that nothing was his fault. That this was life and we just had to live it. Without him, I felt like I had only half of myself. Pieces of me were missing; without him I was whole like I should be.
No, I think we're taking this to far!
Don't you know that,
it's not this hard?
No it's not this hard!
But if you take what's yours
And I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time
No, not this time
The instrumental consisted of Sango's great guitar skills and Ayame's drums. Rin played the harmony that pulled it together. I bobbed my head to the music, walking up to the stage's edge.
If you run away now,
will you come back around?
And if you ran away
I'd still wave goodbye
Watching you shine bright
The last line was spoken softly, and the music did the same thing with it. My question to him was, will you ever come back? But even if he's gone, I would still love him, as the light that shines bright in my life. Sango and the others played as I continued my verses.
No, I think we're taking this to far!
Don't you know that,
it's not this hard?
No it's not this hard!
But if you take what's yours
And I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time
No, not this time . . .
I'll wave goodbye,
(You shine bright)
watching you shine bright!
(You shine bright)
I'll wave goodbye tonight . . .
(You shine tonight)
With a last strum of their guitar and bass, Sango and Rin finished just after Ayame's last beat. I could hear their breathing and they seemed a little out of breath; the music had required precision and energy, but they had played it well. I smiled; I knew they would. The crowd of young girls yelled and cheered, getting up from their seats to clap. I waved to them and said,
"Thanks for being here you guys! I hoped the performance was worth the ticket to get in!" I scanned the audience, but I didn't see the gleam of silver I had seen earlier. I sighed and turned away was the curtains were drawn. Wiping some sweat off my face, my band members almost came running at me. I prepared myself for the worst.
"Kagome," Sango began, looking earnest. "That was amazing!"
I cocked an eyebrow. That, I hadn't expected. "You liked it?"
They nodded. "It was beautiful how you put your emotions in your songs." Ayame smiled. "It turned out really well."
Rin smiled. "I thought the music fit the words too, even if it was a little tiring to play all those notes."
I smiled. "Thanks you guys. I was afraid you might be upset about my new songs."
Sango smiled and shrugged. "They say the most beautiful things surge from amidst difficult times."
"I guess," I said, walking and grabbing a bottle of water. I wrinkled my nose at the food table and said, "Gross! This smells like trash."
"What are you talking about?" Ayame came to stand next to me. "It smells perfectly fine to me."
I shook my head. "Well, not to me." I stuck out my tongue. "Yuck."
"You're finally going off the deep end, Kagome." Sango called.
I ignored her comment and decided to go to the bathroom. The smell of the food was really getting to me. I felt nauseous and before I could get to the bathroom, felt the bile come up to my throat. I ran like a mad-woman and made it just in time before I barfed all over the nice clean tile floor.
"Well," I said, wiping my mouth with some paper. "No more eating out before concerts for me."
I had no idea what was really the problem.
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(Inuyasha's POV)
Even when the curtains closed, I couldn't move from my seat. It wasn't until the janitor came cleaning through did I finally decide to move. I was still so shocked at the new songs Kagome had sung; they were specifically to me! My mind reeled at the words. Almost from the first sound out of her mouth, I had a feeling that these songs might contain some hint of her feelings since I had been gone. Of course, I didn't fathom that they all would center around it. I sighed as I exited the concert hall.
She was hurt; she was still hurting, but she wanted me to come back. How could I ignore her plea when they demanded my attention? Her second song really caught me up. She wanted me to understand that it was all right and that she would always wait with open arms. Kicking the nearest can, I shoved my hand into my pockets.
Suddenly, the idea of leaving didn't sound like the best plan anymore.
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(Kagome's POV)
"Woah, Kagome." Rin pulled back my hair as I threw up in the toilet for what seemed like the fifth time in an hour. "You have a serious case of food poisoning."
Sango appeared at the door, plugging her nose with her thumb and forefinger. "No more before-concert meals for you, young lady. Not if you're going to barf all night in the bathroom."
I breathed in evenly, trying to get my stomach to settle. "I didn't plan to get sick, you know." I glared at her. "How'd you feel if you were me?"
"I'd feel sick to my stomach."
I rolled my eyes at her, but couldn't respond as a another wave of nausea hit me. I ducked into the toilet bowl again as my mother appeared at the door next to Sango.
"Kagome, dear, I think you need to go to the doctor." She glanced at the others. "Don't you girls agree?"
Sango and Rin readily agreed and the next thing I knew, I was in my brother's car, heading for the doctor. They had ignored my protest of it being too late and Kouga was the one was having it the least.
"No sister of mine is going to wither away in a bathroom." He declared as he started the engine."
"It's not such a huge deal." I sighed. "I'm fine. Really."
My brother rolled his eyes. "With the way it smells in the bathroom? You wish!"
I huffed, crossing my arms and trying to get comfortable. Closing my eyes, I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up to find myself in a room, in a soft bed. I wasn't alone. To my left, a silver-haired man slept, his ears twitching with every sound I made. I couldn't help but rub them. A clawed hand caught my wrist.
"Kagome," Inuyasha huffed, bringing down my hand and kissing it. "Why must you always touch things you are told not to touch?"
I rolled my eyes. "It surprises me that there are still things I can't touch on you."
Inuyasha blushed, not used to my innuendos. I gave them rarely, but I wasn't known for having a sharp tongue for nothing. "You're such an old maid." I teased him.
"And you're a perverse old man."
I laughed. He got me there.
"Are you leaving already?" I asked, watching him get up and get dressed.
He nodded. "Your mother expects me soon; it's best not to keep my mother-in-law waiting."
"Go, then." I sighed.
He smiled softly, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "We have the rest of our lives to go, my love."
I sighed contently as he walked out of our room. Hopping up to get dressed, I thought about my situation. It was unheard of for a princess to sleep with her intended before they were wed, but we had been wed in demon standards for two purposes. First, we hoped that would abate the demons who were so adamant against being ruled by a human line. Second, it was much quicker than taking months to prepare a lavish wedding that would satisfy the nobility of the court; the ceremony for demons took only an hour. It was more convenient that way.
I sighed as I pinned up my hair. Nothing had been the same since the those awful demons began pillaging the peaceful areas of my kingdom. Everything felt so rushed now. I had heard that in the villages girls were being married by the droves; all were afraid they would not be able to live long enough to live properly with the one they loved if the war continued. The same had been for me. Here I was, at 15, already married and in line for the throne. My father had indeed died that day he had gone to the front lines. My mother was managing affairs alongside Inuyasha, instructing him in what he would need to know to rule the kingdom and win against the evil demon army, since my father was not here to teach him.
My birthday was in a few days. I would be 16, officially able to marry by the courts rules. Inuyasha and I had decided to have our human wedding after that. Then would everything be right, even if it was only for a moment. I closed my eyes and prayed to the Gods above that the war would end soon.
When I open my eyes again, I'm not in the room, in front of the mirror. I'm surrounded by darkness but I know what comes after this.
"Midoriko?" I called out. I knew she was here, somewhere.
"Here I am." The voice came from behind me, and I whirled around to get a better look.
"You're here again."
Midoriko looked saddened. "It's happening again, my dear. Your love is dying."
I shook my head, remembering that I was talking about both the past and present situations "Inuyasha will be back. He promised me." I gulped. "Besides, what was the point of showing me this? I'm already mated to Inuyasha."
She smiled, but it was a sad smile. "I have come to restore the final thing which wasn't granted to you in your previous life; you didn't know you were in this condition when you died. Now I have restored everything to you."
"What are you talking about? What condition?" I asked, having no clue at all.
She bowed her head. "You shall see soon enough."
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x o My eyes flew open, my breath coming fast. I hadn't had a dream in months; why did I suddenly start having them again? I sat up, and I realized that we had just arrived at the hospital. Kouga opened the door for me and helped me out, since I felt a little dizzy. My thoughts were no longer on the trip, but on my dream. What could Midoriko possibly had been talking about? "Kagome, you look pale." Kouga commented, pulling me out of the car.
"Just let me get this over with." I frowned. The quicker, the better.
It didn't take long for the doctor to call me in. He took a series a tests and began to ask me some questions.
"Do you smoke?"
"No," I answered, bored.
"Do you drink alcohol?"
"Nope." This was getting tedious.
He then gave me a look. "Are you or could you possibly be pregnant?"
I didn't answer right away for this one. I thought about it. The last time Inuyasha and I had any type of intimacy was the night he left, almost two months ago. I then realized that my period hadn't made an appearance. That was great and all, but now I counted up the days in my head. More than a month.
I bit my lip. "Maybe."
The doctor nodded and said, "Well, then we need to test for that."
I just nodded, following his instructions, hoping for all that was right in the universe that it was all just a mistake. Not that I wouldn't love to have children, but I didn't know if I was ready emotionally. It was Inuyasha's baby as much as mine. Could I be strong enough for my child? I didn't know.
The tests didn't take long to come back. I sat down on the chair, waiting for the doctor to read me the results. He nodded as he read them. "What does it say, doctor?"
"Well, it explains the vomiting and nausea." He smiled and handed me the paper. "You're pregnant."
I took the paper, my hands slightly shaking. I smiled at the doctor and stood up. "Thank you doctor."
He nodded to me, scribbling something on a piece of paper. "Here's a prescription of prenatal vitamins." He gave me the paper. "And don't forget to schedule your visit soon with me."
I nodded and walked outside, prescription in hand. "Oh my gosh."
Kouga, who had been patiently waiting outside for me, along with Ayame, Sango and Rin, came up to me. "What did the doctor say?"
I glanced up at them, at loss for words. How could I tell them I was pregnant? They might hate Inuyasha forever; they might never leave me alone about it. Gulping, and trusting my family and friends, I declared bravely,
"I'm pregnant."
No one moved. No one breathed. The first who spoke was Sango. "Are you sure? That you're . . . pregnant?"
I nodded. "The doctor tested it. I'm definitely pregnant."
"Kagome?" Ayame stood, taking my hands. "Are you okay with it?"
The question was simple really; just a yes or no answer, but I couldn't find an answer for her. I just nodded, hoping that this was a good thing.
"We're here for you, Kagome." Rin said, hugging me.
The only one who was still frozen stiff was Kouga. I walked towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Kou?" I asked, using his nickname. "Are you okay?"
He stood up, angry all of sudden. "This isn't fair, Kagome!" He huffed. "You just went through him leaving," He said the word him with scorn. "and now you have to go through . . . through this?" He motioned towards me and my belly.
I knew he would do this. He would blame Inuyasha, forgetting that I had also had a part in creating my baby. "Stop it, Kouga." I glared at him. "This child is as mine as it's Inuyasha's and I'm not going to give it up just because he's not here!"
Kouga locked eyes with me, deflating. "But can you really do this? Without being torn apart?"
I raised my chin defiantly. "And when haven't I been able to get through things? Besides," I added, touching my belly. "This baby will have a family." I smiled and glanced at everyone. "All of you."
"Aww!" Rin teared up.
"Of course," Sango said.
"Group hug!" Ayame called.
I laughed as my friends and my brother enveloped me with their love, with their warmth. I knew I could do this. This baby, boy or girl, would be loved to the end of the universe. My parents would love their grandchild; my biological father would be happy and somehow I knew Souta would too. Everything was going to be alright.
The only thing that I regretted was the fact that Inuyasha wasn't here to share in the happiness of our child.
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A/N: Done! This was super-duper late but seventeen pages should suffice until I find some more time to write. So will Inuyasha decide to come back? How will Kagome's life fare with her being pregnant? And what about Naraku and her sister Kikyo? All these questions will be answered in the next chapter!