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Chapter twenty: Touch (part one)

"For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first."- Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

The forest appeared gloomy and petrifying as Rumpelstiltskin paced in front of the young lady. His index touched his lower lip while his other hand was formally glued to his back. The leafed ground seemed to adorn his presence as his booted feet quietly marched on it. His strangely familiar eyes stared at the girl, nose wrinkling in thought. It seemed, for Rumple, that this girl was quite a hard puzzle to piece back together.

"You are betraying him, you know that?" the Dark One stammered. His brow rose and an amused smile stretched his lips. Cheri winced.

"I never trusted him to begin with." Her dark orbs kept their hardness, but under the thick barriers, a storm ate at her bit by bit. She knew the consequences of her acts, knew them well enough to feel the pain of them before they were even executed on her. Cheri was conscious of the danger she was putting herself into, but if it meant that, for once, she could help someone in need, she would take the risk.

"You are aware that this can backfire?" Rumple didn't seem to be fazed by the girl's courage, but he seemed to be more intrigued. Cheri winced again, shoulders bouncing ever the slightest.

Under the dawning sun, her hair reflecting darkness, her eyes gleaming with tears, Cheri nodded. "I accept whatever punishment Peter will reserve for me," she answered. "After all," she added, "it's I who decided to initiate the betrayal." This seemed to gladden the man, as he quirked a brow and scoffed. A frown knitted the brunette's eyebrows as a sour feeling built in her chest.

"I am not a stupid man," Rumple stated, "and I do not get fooled easily." His feet twirled in the leaves as his arms came resting at his sides. Instantly, Cheri wanted to run away from him, but his stare was keeping her feet planted firmly on the ground. "You will need to gain my trust. For that, every night, or whenever possible, you and I will meet. Anywhere. Just as long as Pan does not know of our meetings. Every night, we will talk more about this plan of mine until I feel it just to state my trust in you."

"I assure you that you already have my undoubted trust, Rumpelstiltskin." Cheri didn't see the darkened cloud that washed over his features, but Rumple felt it. The forest around him felt it. The underbrush seemed to claw away from him as he took two steps towards the young woman.

"I will decide that, deary," he growled. "Until then, you keep your mouth shut and I prepare the group. Make sure to steer clear of Pan's doubting mind. Oh," he lifted his index, midway from turning his back on the girl, "don't speak about this to anybody. Not even Henry."

Cheri nodded. A sigh brushed off her lips. "Good day, Rumple."

The man disappeared in thin air, taking with him the heavy atmosphere and the sour feeling in Cheri's chest.

With a curt nod, the brunette twirled on her feet and marched back to her hut. She climbed the steps two by two, tears brimming her eyes and a heavy heart. The hut, illuminated by the early rays of sunlight, seemed different than it had been mere hours ago. The bed with the messed up sheets looked repulsing, the dresser appeared gross and even the floor made the girl feel like retching. The smell of the boy king still lingered in the air, strong and heavy, which made the repulsion grow in the girl's stomach.

She cursed to herself, gripping the roots of her hair and pulling until she was sure she scalped herself. A grunt gritted passed her clenched teeth, irritating her throat. A scream lodged in her mouth and before she could crumble into a messy heap, she heard the echo of footsteps in the stairs.

Instantly, with a gasp, the brunette wheeled on her heels and clenched her hands at her sides. Surprise widened her eyes and as a shadow cast a dark specter on the wooden planks, her heart heaved.

Felix walked in. His presence alone seemed to nourish the seed of doubt resting in the pit of Cheri's stomach. He wore no cloak or hood, his face perfectly liberated from the dark shadows cast by the usual hood. His knotty blond hair stuck out at all angles, dirt smudged his cheeks and chin, and the brunette caught a glimpse of a hidden blade at his waist.

Cheri stood back with a single tear rolling down her cheek. Her mouth felt sour, tasted coppery and the heaviness in her chest was overwhelming. "W-what are y-you doing?" she stuttered, swallowing back a sob. Felix puckered his lips.

"I was passing by," he stated, "and heard crying. I came to check if everything was alright." The girl frowned perplexedly. A lump threatened to wreck her voice, so before speaking, she gulped it down audibly.

"Thank you Felix," she said courageously, "but everything is fine." Although her voice was groomed to perfect stillness, her gleaming eyes hid the true anguish. Felix had always been good at decoding someone.

He resigned, though. Fighting the muse of the boss was a bad idea. His messy head bowed slightly and he turned on his heels. "Good day, mother," he threw back before galloping down the wooden steps.

Cheri sighed, pinching her lips together. She would have to get herself together if she would be doing this kind of hiding from Pan longer than she thought.

But just the idea of hurting him, betraying him, watching him despair was too hurtful to think about.

Cheri's routine continued like nothing ever happened. As the days grew old and numerous, slipping through her finger like soap, she found it easier and easier to lie to Pan. She kept her lies short and curt, sweet and simple. The pang in her heart diminished everyday she wandered back to Rumple after watching Pan leave her hut satisfied. She learned to avert her eyes from Pan's, since it would make the management of her emotions painless.

Everyday, she'd walk back to camp and smile at the boys. She'd give Pan a chaste kiss, walk with him to the places he wanted to show her, and come back to camp to sit back and watch the parties. Then Peter would grow tired of the games, seeking more fun. He'd walk back to his princess and take her hand. Shivers would burst through her skin, accusing fingers would poke her brain and screaming voices would tear at her thoughts. You liar! they screamed. Look at you, all sweet and innocent while you back stab him every chance you get!

Peter never noticed the slight winces of the brunette as they walked hand in hand through the foliage. And Cheri wanted to cry and burst out screaming for the guilty pain in her chest was making her go insane. He knew nothing, and the almost naive looks he gave her were too much to handle. On most of the nights, Cheri refused his advances and curled into a ball, stating that she wasn't in the mood for fooling around. Although it did irk the boy king, it made him leave, which permitted the brunette to slip passed the sentries and call on Rumple.

As he promised, the man gave her more and more of the plan everyday. He teased her with details that were either unimportant or on some occasions, very relevant. Then, when he judged enough, Rumple left and Cheri walked back to the hut.

This charade went on for quite some time, like a never-ending tunnel of confusion and heartbreak. Day after day, Cheri's betrayal came more evident to her eyes. Day after day, she saw the importance of her role and the damage she would be doing to herself and Pan.

And day after day, her heartbreak became all she could feel. The stinging, hot, painful shredding of the remnants of her heart.

On that day, Cheri woke up determined to seal her fate. If she was going to destroy Peter, she could at least give him all the love she could conjure up and give.

With the sun warming her neck, the young woman walked slowly through the jungle. She had dressed the part; white tunic ending mid-thigh, track boots and her hair tied in a braid showering over her right shoulder. She had tried to put her emotions together for that day, to please the boy king. He didn't like it when she cried too much, he could barely handle when she was quiet.

Emerging into camp, the girl headed for the food first, slowly eating and staring at a dying fire. As anticipated, Peter walked out of the underbrush with Felix at his side. They were deep in conversation, and as Cheri stared at them, she figured out how easy this would be. Peter wanted her, it was evident in the way he trailed his eyes to her, knowing exactly where she was. It showed in the way he licked his lips and curled his mouth into a seductive smile. It showed in the way he stalked to her and went for her hand, lifting her to her feet and kissing her like he hadn't seen her in an eternity.

"You look ravishing this morning, milady," he mused as he bowed and smirked wider. Cheri giggled forcefully.

"So do you, sir," she gave him back a small bow and sighed when he gathered her in his arms.

"I want to teach you something today," he announced.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes," he chuckled, "and I think you'll like it." He pulled back and draped his arm over her shoulder, giving her forehead a light kiss.

"What do you teachings involve?" she asked, curious. She surprised herself by how easy it became for her to act normal around Peter. Despite the fact that she was perpetually sad about her never returning to her realm, Cheri figured how easy it was to go back to acting like the first months of her arrival on Neverland.

They walked towards the forest line, Peter smirking devilishly the whole way. "Magic."

"Oh, Peter-" the girl tried to reason, but as soon as she tried to pull away from him, he placed his index on her mouth and shushed her.

"Don't 'oh Peter' me, darling," he chuckled, tugging her along as she groaned. "Let's get safely away from here so you won't be distracted and you'll see, it's fun."

A sigh brushed passed her lips, but she went along. Keeping Pan out of doubt was critical to her mission.

He stopped when the sounds of camp life had died out. Humid air hung over their heads threateningly, rain heavy in the molecules of the air. The area was extricated, fairly hidden by thick bushes and trees. "You see," Peter started, "here in Neverland, you can make anything appear in your hands as long as you believe." He slid his arm from Cheri's shoulders and paced.

"You mean, I just need to believe and anything will appear?" her voice came out rather squeaky. He nodded.

"Indeed," he sneered. "All you have to do is believe in Neverland's magic and whatever you're thinking about will appear." A chuckle rose from his chest and he stood before her, head cocked. "Just don't make another one of me appear, babe, please." His statement provoked a roll of the girl's eyes.

She bit her lip, unsure of what she wanted. And doing what Pan was implying would mean she was giving in to the fact that magic existed. But hadn't she seen enough of it to believe? As hard as it sounded, she still doubted it.

"Fine." Determined, the girl cupped her hands in front of her and closed her eyes. She gathered all her memories of magic performances she had been witness and brought them all in a ball in her mind. The memories swarmed and glued together as a frown knitted her brows. Strangely, her hands felt heavy, but they were empty. It scared her and she gasped, opening her eyes. "I can't."

"Yes you can," the boy king insisted, eyes wide with anticipation. Cheri looked at him, brows raised and heart pounding. He nodded encouragingly.

She gave it another go, cupping her hands and storming up her memories. Again, her brows furrowed and her heart drilled against her chest bone. When her mind was a dark swirl of bloodcurdling memories, she thought about an object she had been dying of having for the pass weeks. A journal.

With a gasp, the girl felt something heavy materialize in her hands. She took a sharp step back and dropped her hands. Something dark hit the ground and made Peter burst out laughing. "You did it!" he exclaimed, advancing and clapping his hands together as his eyes remained on the fallen book. Cheri, flabbergasted, stared at the journal in the dirt. It was made of leather, thick with tons of pages to write whatever she wanted.

"I...I did it?" Her words came out questioningly. Her gaze clicked to Peter's as they stared at each other in surprise.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" he asked, smiling. "It needs a feather and ink!"

"Peter, it's called a pen."

The boy frowned. "Pen?"

"Watch." The girl gathered her memories once again and stretched out her hands. Behind closed lids, she thought about a pen, preferably blue and concentrated the dark blur of thoughts on it. When her hands felt the feather-weight in their pits, the girl opened her eyes and smiled proudly. "See?" She held up the pen, clicked it open and scribbled on the back of her hand.

Peter walked to her, brows pulled together and head cocked. "Is that the instrument of writing you use in your realm?" he asked, gripping her hand and observing the hieroglyphics on it. Cheri nodded, picking up the journal and opening the first page, holding it straight against her chest.

"Yeah, it's pretty useful," she answered.

"You don't even need to carry an ink box," he said in wonder, watching as the girl wrote her name down on the inside of the book.

It was strange to write. Holding a pen and watching the ink mark the white was almost a relief for the young woman. A smile stretched on her lips as she turned and handed the pen and book to Pan. "Here, you try it," she said with a gleeful smile. He frowned.

"I know how to write, doll," he answered with a scoff. Cheri rolled her eyes.

"Not with a pen you don't."

Cheri admired him as he scribbled on the page. She watched his hands, long and manly. She noticed his chiseled forearms and the slight bulge of his muscles. A small, pitiful smile stretched her lips as she observed his neck, his head cocked to the side and giving her plenty to look at. The curve of his jaw, the plumpness of his lips, the childish look in his eyes. All about him was beautiful, and then, with the light shining above him and casting a heavenly glow on his hair, Cheri saw him for who he really was. Just a boy. Peter Pan. A boy.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Cheri hadn't realized that, upon looking the young man over, she had smiled unconsciously. Her eyes met his and she shrugged.

"Uh, I guess it's funny seeing you write with a pen," she answered, biting the insides of her cheeks. He scoffed and handed the pen and book back to the brunette.

They stayed there quite some time together. Cheri conjured up many objects; soccer ball, books, combs, toothbrushes, perfume, body cream, air fresheners, small objects from her room, clothing, shoes and other apparels. When it was time to head back, Peter made it all vanish and told the girl he made them appear in her tree house.

"I have to go deal with some things now, doll," he said as they tromped through the jungle. Cheri nodded.

"You don't have to talk to me like I'm a child, Peter," she answered, eyes cast down. "I know you're going to see the group."

"You're right," he answered with a sigh. "I'm going to go play some games with them. Fuck around with them, like they say in your realm."

"Aren't you tired of doing the same thing over and over again?" she questioned, jumping over a fallen log. Peter huffed.

"I don't always play the same games, darling," he chuckled. "I have them running around the island like chickens with no heads. It's pretty entertaining."

"Hasn't Henry fulfilled what he came here to do yet?" she asked, furrowing her brows.

"Let's just say there have been," Peter trailed off, shaking his head, "complications." The soft rattling of the wind followed his words and Cheri swore that the wind was a whisper in her ear. You having fun toying with his fate?

Cheri shook her head, ignoring the voice. "What exactly does he need to do?"

"Why, aren't we asking a lot of questions today," Pan chanted, turning his burning gaze to her. She cringed. Shit, I gotta stop this!

"I'm just worried for him," Cheri stated quickly, words dribbling out of her mouth. "I haven't seem him in a while." Peter gave her a stern stare, a doubting stare. Shit! Oh no, he knows!

"And why are you all of a sudden interested in him?" His voice was thick with doubt, pooling off his tone like water. Cheri winced. No, he knows. Oh shit shit shit shit.

Shut it and pull yourself together, wimp!

"I'm just, uh, I guess I'm trying to uh," she looked away, desperately searching for an exit route. Meanwhile, she could feel Pan's eyes burning at the back of her head. Shit shit shit shit.

"You're starting to take the mother part more seriously now, aren't you?" he said. Cheri turned her eyes back to him and nodded. There was her exit route.

"I've been around the boys for enough time to form some kind of motherly bond, I guess," she answered, a shrug lifting her shoulders. Pan nodded.

"Well," he sighed, "to reassure your motherly worries, Henry is fine." Phew, that was a close one...

"Oh good," Cheri answered, fake smile etching on her face.

They arrived at camp, Peter leaving her the instant their feet hit the perimeter. He stated his goodbyes with a sloppy kiss on the lips that left Cheri wiping her mouth of his saliva. Before he left, though, Cheri caught his arm and pulled him closer. "See you tonight," she said, voice low and husky, promising and seductive. She never thought her voice could sound like that.

A smirk tugged at his lips and he moistened them. "I happily will," he drawled back, before fading back into the green.

Cheri smiled pitifully as she watched him leave, heart heavy in her chest. You thought this would be easy? came a voice at the back of her mind that made her sigh.

Nothing with him is easy, Subconscious.

Do you think you'll succeed? After all, he is Peter Pan. He never fails.

Yo, thanks for being on my side!

I am on your side! I'm protecting you!

Shut up and fuck off!

As demanded, her subconscious whines fell silent. The brunette was left to her peaceful emptiness, hearing nothing but the humming of the jungle life and the distant laughs of boys.

"Mother," came the drawl of Felix as he waddled her way, dressed in his usual cloak, but the hood was down. Something in his eyes was different. They were jittery, almost like he was on edge. Cheri swore she could see the muscle in his jaw twitch when the two made eye contact.

"Felix," the brunette greeted formally, turning to face him completely. He stood at a reasonable distance from the girl, his blue eyes blinking rapidly like he had dry eyes. Cheri frowned, his aversion striking her already edgy state of mind.

"Pan wanted to show you something," he said, "but he had to leave so I'll be showing you." He licked his lips, hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He swallowed hard and gave the brunette a curt smile, almost like doing so was hurtful.

"Show me what?" The girl crossed her arms over her chest and looked him straight in the eyes, although it seemed to make him even more jittery.

He gestured with his head to a place beyond the other side of the camp. "Come on."

The girl trailed behind him, nodding at the Lost Boys who nodded at her. She observed Felix from behind; how his back muscles contracted every time he moved, how his long legs seemed to make him glide instead of walk. She particularly liked the way he kept his head high, eyes alert to anything in the camp. She liked his face on the side. His profile was softer and more boyish, and the scars weren't visible from the side.

The blonde boy came to a stop in front of a hut, the door closed. He gestured his hand to the said door and puckered his lips. "I think you should do the honors of opening the door, mother," he said. Cheri frowned, but still inched forward. She reached out her hand and gripped the doorknob, which was a wooden stick.

"Honors?" she asked, raising her brows. He nodded slowly.

Cheri opened the door and stared into the dim hut, patches of sunlight coming through the slats in the roof and illuminating parts of a table and cots. A frown furrowed her delicate brows, and as she was about to turn to Felix, someone exclaimed, "Hey!"

On instinct, the brunette recoiled backwards and into Felix. Her back hit his chest and his right arm came around her torso to support her. His breath coughed out of his throat as the brunette, unaware of the contact, stared at Wendy standing in the doorway.

"Wendy!" Cheri exclaimed, voice thick with longing. Wendy, standing with a healthier look, looked back. "And... Tink!" The said ex-fairy crept out of the dark and waved happily at the brunette. Both girls looked more...sane. Their cheeks adorned a healthy pink color, their eyes shone and their skins were clean. Tinkerbell's curly blonde hair was loose and hung around her face. Wendy's thick caramel mane was pulled up into a ponytail, exposing a slender neck and her shoulder line.

"We're back," Wendy said, thick English accent rolling off her tongue. Cheri smiled, still poised against Felix's chest. Noticing the awkward contact, she slid out of his arm and walked towards her friends. She heard the boy walk off, and didn't even spare him a look back.

"What happened to you guys?" she asked, a bit worried about what Pan had done to them. Tink giggled and put a hand to her mouth.

"We went back to our usual doings," she answered. "Then Pan came to get us and brought us here!"

"Well, he came to get you," Wendy corrected. "I was just transported here."

"I'm so happy you're safe!" Cheri declared, voice shrilling with relief. Oh, how many nights had she spent worrying about the girls and what they had become? The brunette had begged Peter for information, but the boy king had always refused to give her answers.

"We'll we are too!" Wendy gave Cheri the wide eyed look and all three girls laughed.

Their little reunion took Cheri's mind off the plan to destroy Pan. Their chattering and girl talk made her forget the sour feeling in her chest and coppery taste in her mouth, like she perpetually had blood on her tongue. After a while, Cheri showed them the bit of magic she had learned. She made some things appear and disappear, which made the girls ooh and aah in wonder. The girls announced to Cheri that the hut they were in was going to be their living quarters for as long as they thought. The thought pleased Cheri to have the girls close to her, but it also put her on edge. More people here meant more people that could catch her in her secrecy.

When the sun was down and all three girls had consumed a dish of fish and berries made by Tink, Cheri left. She gave her goodbyes to her friends and walked into camp. The Lost Boys were having downtime, sitting in little clusters around a blazing fire. They chatted and carved some spears, played with knives or lied back with their hood over their eyes. Living the life.

The girl wondered out on her path and started tromping through the foliage. The more she advanced in the dark forest, the more her heart seemed to feel heavy and throbbed harder. Her breaths came out through her mouth, too rapid to pass through her nose. Sweat collected in the pit of her hands and the small of her back, lump in her throat rising. The closer she got the her tree house meant the closer she got to spending the night with Pan. Spending the night.

She climbed the steps, eyes low. She walked in, looked around and decided to wait patiently. Maybe if she waited long enough, he'd show up and end her suffering. Her heart sped as she thought about it, licking her lips nervously. She went to the mirror at the back of the room, smoothing down her hair, untying it, passing her fingers through her locks and letting her curls rest around her shoulders. Biting her lip and staring at her reflection, the brunette saw the slight blush creep up on her cheeks and she looked away, breathing out. Her stomach was doing a million flip flops, churning and burning like a furnace. Why am I so nervous? It's just Peter.

She clenched her teeth and breathed out sharply, sitting down on the bed with her hands folded in her lap. Suddenly, she got up and walked around, hands on her stomach and head low. Repeatedly telling herself that she could do this was making her hands shake. But I don't know how to do this.

You had A's in science, my dear, you know exactly how to do this.

I know the mechanics, dipshit. I don't know... the rest.

Her head snapped up when feet skidded the wooden steps outside. Her heart pounded even louder, drilling against her breastbone so hard she thought it would burst out. Her palms accumulated sweat and she dropped them at her sides as she breathed in. Her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth as Peter came into her view.

Here we go.

Hah, part two is going to be up soon :) Thanks for the reviews, favs, follows and all!

Song for this chapter: Her Song by MGK

See ya next one loves... :)