CHAPTER 21
After we got back from Gemma's me and Jax haven't said much to each other, we sent home Neeta and I spent some time with Abel. When I went to check on Jax in the kitchen he was sewing back on his patches he took off for going Nomad.
I sat down opposite him and told him "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I wanted to"
"No, you did the right thing hiding her secret."
"Are you gonna go after Zobelle?" I ask him
"Yeah, I'd do the same for you"
"You already did." I tell him "I've been thinking about Your dad's manuscript. Would that be his solution? More violence?"
"If Gemma had gotten raped on John's watch he'd have written a whole different book."
Then there was a knock at the door. Jax grabbed the gun of the side and answered it. It was Clay.
"Sorry, I know it's late."
"It's alright."
I heard Abel waking up.
"I'll go get him" I say
"No its okay I got it" Jax says and hands me the gun.
…. … …. … … … … …. … … … ….
The next morning, I woke up to a phone call from the chief of the hospital telling me I'm suspended until further notice due to what went down with Gemma and Margaret. I'm irritated that this is what it's come to but after last night I don't wanna go down hard on Gemma and blame her even more. I figured I would just try accept it as much as I can.
I go over to Gemma's to see how she's doing after last night. She's sat at the kitchen table having a smoke when I walk in.
"Morning." I say to Gemma and help myself to some coffee.
"Hey." She replies
"Doing okay?" I ask her and sit down opposite her.
"Sure." She sarcastically replies.
"It was brave, doing what you did."
"Had to be done. Snap Jax and Clay out of their bullshit."
"Had to be done for you. Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask her
"There's nothing to talk about. Clay's never gonna wanna be inside something that's been ripped up like me."
"Jesus Christ, Gemma, Clay loves you."
"Love don't mean shit. Men need to own their pussy, his has been violated. He'll find another."
I finish my coffee and stand up. "I refuse to believe that's true. Call me if you need me."
When I get back to the house Jax's bike is still there. I creep up on him when he's sorting out some stuff in the bedroom.
"Jesus, I thought you were at my mom's." he says looking startled
"I was, she's not really in the mood to talk, she's kinda numb"
"Maybe you could keep an eye on her whilst we deal with this?"
"Yeah of course."
"I love you" he tells me and kisses me
"I love you too." I say and he turns the corner to walk down the hall … after a few seconds I walk after him
"I got suspended from St Thomas, they figured out what I did for Chibs – getting him to stay in the hospital longer than he needed to. There's a hearing in two weeks."
"Jesus Christ. - What does that mean?" Jax asks
"Worst-case scenario, I lose my license. Best-case, a black mark that follows me my whole career."
"Shit." Jax responds.
"I wasn't gonna tell you. Last thing you need with everything going on, but I just, I don't I don't want any more secrets, Jax."
"It's okay. We'll get through it, just like everything else."
"You know it would kill me if I knew you were sleeping with other women." I tell him
"What?"
"Cheating. It's a It's a deal breaker for me. And at some point, playing house isn't gonna be enough."
"Can we talk about this?"
"I'm going to want a baby or two."
"Jesus"
"I need to know that whatever this is it's heading in that direction."
"Cara."
"I know, I'm sorry. I just I needed to say all of that. Probably should've done it in smaller doses."
"I haven't been with anyone since this became whatever this is. I wouldn't have told you all that I have if I didn't think this was moving toward something more." He tells me
I start crying with relief that I got out what I've been holding in all morning.
"It's all right. Come here." And he holds me in a tight embrace.
All this thinking about the future has me thinking of the past to when worries between me and Jax where a lot simpler. One of my favourite memories is still the skinny dipping and getting arrested. Despite the way it ended we were just enjoying being normal sixteen year olds, I remember it clearly.
It was a boring morning at school and I couldn't wait for it to be over so I could go by Jax's so we could hang out. I went out the front doors to catch some air before my next class but my peace is distracted by some sniggering group of girls in the corner. God they are so pathetic.
I was just about to go back inside and grab my books before I hear a toot come from a recognisable bike. When I turn around Jax is sat at the drop section of the car park wearing his prospect cut hollering at me to come over. Of course I run to him.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him and I can't stop smiling
"Came to pick you up." He tells me
"It's not even been a full day."
"So, this place is shit hole, let me get you out of here." He winks at me
"Teller, you will be the death of me." I point at him and he laughs
"Here you go, darlin" and he passes me a helmet
"Oh, why Thank you" I chat back
I start putting on the helmet and bring my legs over each side of the back of his bike and I grab around his waist and lean my face against the back of his leather and we start ride a long ride.
Jax brought us to Santa cruz beach where there was no one else around due to the fact it was nearly winter.
"What you bring me here for?" I ask him as I hop of the bike.
"It's quiet"
"I mean, it's nice."
"Yeah it can be like our own place." Jax says
I tuck the hair behind my ears and put my hands of my hips.
"Hmm." I say and look around "It's a public beach Jax"
Jax goes into the back of his bike and digs out a twelve pack of beers.
"Look what I got?" he shows me the beers.
"Did you steal those?"
"Nah, technically not if they're from my dad's club house."
"Well did you bring a blanket?" I ask him and he whips one out and lays it down on the floor and I go to sit down on it and he lays down next to me.
"So did you get the day off?" I ask him
"Nah, if they need me they will call."
"Well, hopefully they don't." I say and grab a beer.
"Give me a kiss" Jax says and grabs my face.
"What if I don't want to." I joke with him
"You do." He tells me and I laugh and bring him down for a long kiss and before we knew it time was running by fast and the sky was getting dark and we had drunk all the beers.
I was leaning my head on Jax's torso when I asked him "Do you ever think about where we will be in like ten years from now."
"Hopefully not wearing this stupid prospect cut."
I laugh at him and grab his hand and start playing with it "I think you'll be a great president of the club in ten years."
"With you by my side I will." He says
"Yeah, I mean of course." I take a breath and tell him something I'm not even sure of happening "I think I want to be a Doctor."
"Shit, really?"
"Yeah, believe it or not my grades are actually doing ok and I just need to pick the right subjects next semester."
"You've always been a tp." He jokes
I smack his chest and turn around to face him. "Would a tp do this?" I ask him and I stand up and start undoing my blouse and unbuttoning my jeans until my bra is off and so are my panties.
"Well?" I ask him
Jax is left speechless.
"C'mon" I urge him
He says and starts taking of his cut and taking off the rest of his clothes till he is bare like me.
"You are crazy." He says when he comes face to face with me
"Crazy for you." I say into his eyes and grab his hand to run towards the shore.
When we get in the water it's colder than I had anticipated.
"SHIT, ITS COLD" Jax yells and I start laughing hysterically.
"It's not funny, I'm gonna have no balls left." He yells and I can't stop laughing so I put my arms around his neck.
"Well, it's a good job I wanna be a doctor" I say shivering.
"C'mon, let's get out of here" he tells me and we start walking to the shore we feel lights shining from a flash light and voices.
"HEY KIDS GET DRESSED" they yell
"shit" Jax mutters
"The cops?!" I ask jax
"Yeah, c'mon" he tried covering me up as much as he could as we walked more towards the light and started putting out clothes on.
"Can I see some ID please? I'm assuming you have one for that bike." The cop asked once we were dressed
"Yeah I do one sec." Jax says and searches for it.
The cop shines a light down on the id "Charming huh? We'll take you guys back to their sheriff station"
"Wait you are arresting us?" I ask him
"Yes mam, we had complaints from the locals of your behaviour and you stink of alcohol"
"Jesus Christ " I say
The whole way back to charming me and Jax didn't say I word to each other. I was pissed he brought me here – now we had to spend the night in a stupid jail cell.
About 10 minutes into being in the cell Jax pipes up
"You gonna say anything or keep giving me the cold shoulder?" he asks and I keep ignoring him
"It was your idea to take all your clothes off" he then stated
"Yeah and it was you who took me out of school and it was you who brought those beers." I pointed at him.
"Look, chill." He holds his hands up.
"NO! don't tell me to chill. Let's just pray that someone bails us out of the shithole. My dad is gonna kill me" I yell at him
"No he's not Cara."
"Just shut up Jax" I mutter to him
"Jeez"
It was about ten minutes later when Gemma turned up to bail us out.
"Jesus Christ. Are you both completely stupid?"
"Ask him" I point at Jax as I walk out the cell first.
It makes me laugh when I think about it now but at the time I was pissed. I didn't talk to Jax for a full week after that. I never continued to skip school, I even told him to not show up during school hours honking his horn but he still did.
Deep down I enjoyed him showing up, he always said he was protecting me – even though I knew at school there was nothing that I needed protected from.
That's why when I ask him about if he's been cheating it's because I worry I'm too hard on him like I was that night.