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XX. BOND

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Hearing my mom's relieved voice when I told her I want to go back to her made my mind up completely. She cried and kept on telling me that she just wants to keep me in her arms just like when I was younger until all the bad things went away. I doubt they would, but I still wanted her to do it anyway. For the first time in a long, long time, I felt that Renee was the mother and I was the child, not the other way around. I didn't realize how much I missed her until that phone call but I assured Charlie that I didn't have to go so soon. I delayed my flight for another week so I could spend more time with him. I want to leave him with good memories of me, not memories of him waking me up in the middle of the night because I was screaming in my sleep, not memories of him enduring the presence of the saddest girl in the world. I want us to have a real father and daughter bond, even if I have to squeeze them all into a weekend.

This week would be all about Charlie and me.

He told me that I didn't need to do it, that he would be fine, and that I should go back to Renee if it was what I needed to be better. I assured him that I wanted to stay even for a while longer and I apologized for being so selfish for the last months and for being a mere pain in his ass during my entire stay. He quickly brushed it off, telling me that I wasn't, but I still insisted that I wanted to stay even for a while. He agreed in the end and his mood became considerably lighter after that.

He took the weekend off work to be with me and I conditioned myself to hold the bitterness in even for just the hours I was around Charlie. I didn't want him to worry about me and I just wanted us to enjoy each other's presence.

The first day was a Saturday and I asked him to teach me how to fish. He was shocked to say the least, since I never really took interest in his favorite hobby, but it was obvious he was hiding his excitement.

"I bet I could catch more fish than you," I grinned as I hopped in the cruiser.

He chuckled, "You're on, girlie"

He geared up the engine and we drove in comfortable silence, commenting on the scenery, or the nice weather, or whatever it is I could find to keep the conversation going. I was going to spend the day with Charlie and I have to focus on that. Silence would let my mind drift off to…unpleasant things.

When we got there, Charlie took the fishing equipment from the compartment and we proceeded to the docks. It was a bit chilly, the wind blowing passed us as we walked but it wasn't raining. I was expecting to sit on the edge of the dock like some of the movies go and sit there 'til all the fishes were gone but I didn't expect what I found.

"A boat?"

"Yeah, how'd you expect us to catch fish?"

"By sitting here?"

Charlie laughed. "Why? Don't like boats?"

"It's just… I've never ridden in one and I don't want to puke,"

"You won't," he said, turning his back to me and carefully getting inside the mini boat. "You're my kid,"

I smiled.

In the end, he caught more fishes than me and I couldn't say he tried much. I wasn't a girly girl per se, but touching a live worm freaked me out a little bit. Aside from that, it was a really great day and I wondered why we hadn't done something like this before.

Oh, right.

I shook my head slowly as I entered my room, dropping on the bed, feeling beat.

Dinner that night was a lot of fun too, Charlie was now really making effort to talk to me. He asked me about my memories growing up, in detail. We never used to talk about my childhood so much. I guess he wasn't comfortable, but now he seemed genuinely interested.

Sunday morning dawned bright and early, and with it came a heavy feeling at the pit of my stomach. This would be my last day in Forks. I would leave tomorrow morning. I'd have to make this day count.

"Daaaaadddd! Get up! Get up!" I said, hitting him with a pillow lightly.

He mumbled something I couldn't understand but kept his eyes closed.

"Get up! Hurry up and get dressed, we're going for a drive,"

I packed our sandwiches inside a picnic basket I found in the kitchen and was fully dressed already. I decided to take Charlie out for a morning drive, the sun was out today and there's nothing like the fresh morning air.

Charlie went down the stairs ten minutes later, his hair still all over the place and still yawning.

"What did you say about a drive?" he asked me.

"We're going out," I said, grabbing my keys from the counter.

"What about breakfast?" he asked.

I pointed to the picnic basket. "You're gonna have to carry it for now. We'll eat outside,"

It was still a bit cold, but the sun was out and it was great. We bought instant coffee from 711 and ate our sandwiches on the hood of the Chevy facing the cliffs, taking in the view as we talked about random things.

"This is fun," he told me after a while.

"Yeah," I agreed, munching on my sandwich.

"Bet you do this all the time back in Phoenix with your mom,"

"Not really. She wakes up late all the time," I said, smiling as I remembered. I kind of missed those days even though it meant I ate breakfast on my own. "Sometimes when I don't feel like cooking we head out and order Japanese food. She really enjoys the way the Japanese guy down the block makes sushi,"

Charlie laughed. "That's so like her," he said.

I didn't know how to react because I don't know where the line was on how comfortable he was on talking about Renee so I kept silent.

"You're mom's just the person you need right now." He told me, "She can really help you. I should have forced you to go to her earlier but I guess I was too selfish. Now all these bad things keep happening to you and I can't help but think it was all my—"

"Don't you dare say that, Charlie," I said sternly. "Er, I mean Dad. Don't you dare blame yourself for all of this. It happened because I was stupid and I trusted people easily. And bad things just happen, okay? And going back to mom doesn't mean I'm gone forever. Maybe someday, when I'm all better, I'd move back here—who knows, right?"

He smiled at me and gave me a hug. He wasn't the hugging type (like me) so I guess it was pretty big for him. I squeezed him back.

It was late afternoon when somebody rang the doorbell and Charlie was watching TV so I answered it.

"Surprise!"

It was Ben and Angela.

"Hey!" I said smiling. "Come in,"

They went to the kitchen as Charlie straightened up and followed us.

"Your dad told us," Angela explained as I gave her a questioning look. "You're mean, you didn't even tell us you're leaving today."

"Well," I said, smiling apologetically. "I hate goodbyes, so… I was planning to see you tomorrow before I left,"

"Nevermind," she said, "We brought you cake!"

"Ange, you didn't have to," I told her earnestly. "But thanks, really."

We spent the night taking pictures and talking about school and people and memories, carefully dodging everything Mike. I can't help but think they rehearsed everything. It was great of them, though to care about me this much.

It was pretty late when they both left and Charlie was already asleep. I took my last night shower and lied on my bed for the last time. This time tomorrow I'd be back in my old room in Renee's house. I thought about Phoenix and all my old friends. It would be like hitting the rewind button… like I never went to Forks in the first place. I was looking forward to it.

I also thought about Jasper, I suddenly wanted to see him so much, just for the very last time. I wanted to apologize and tell him I appreciated everything he did for me. I never thought I'd feel alive again, even if our efforts failed in the end.

I didn't know what time it was or when it was when I finally fell asleep, but I felt something cold wrapped around my hand, squeezing it ever so gently, so familiar… I opened my eyes slowly and gasped as tears started blurring my eyes.

"You're back," I breathed.

AN: Again, I'm sorry for the delay. I've been getting messages and emails for an update and it's here finally. The next update would be NEXT WEEK. I promise. xx