Part Two

Chapter Twenty:

Three and a Half Years Later (and what happened before that)

Through the Eyes of Mysteri

So I did what he told me to do. I moved on the best I could.

At first, the pain absolutely stifled me. To escape I threw myself into my studies, passing my finals with flying colors. I spent more time singing and playing piano, for when I tried to stay away from it, the hurt worsened. So even though Erik first gave me my song, and that was a reminder of him, I played on, getting lost in notes and lyrics for hours on end.

When I left my hometown to go to college with Patti, I was depressed. Everyone sensed it in me. My family thought that I was just going though the 'going to college blues'. I tried to keep my pain hidden the best I could, but my lessened laughter and smiles gave it away. I cried myself to sleep every single night for the next two and a half months. I stopped talking to my other friends over the summer, and soon only Patti became my last high school connection. I spent a lot of time alone. The emptiness in my heart made me ache, like someone had literally ripped a chunk out of my chest. I had trouble sleeping at night, knowing Erik wouldn't be there and I would only find darkness. That darkness became the nightmare I feared. I no longer lived my life… I simply spent my days existing and trying to fight the pain.

Yet still I pressed on. My father leaving me didn't kill me. Erik's abandonment wouldn't either. Leaving to go to Colorado for school probably was the best thing that could've happened to me that August. I had turned eighteen only weeks before, and I had celebrated my birthday along with Patti. Both of our families had gathered, and we simply sang, talked about theater, and gorged ourselves on the unhealthiest food imaginable (mostly chocolate coated and packed with sodium). It was awesome. I had needed that mindless distraction. I went through that party without thinking of Erik for an entire hour.

I remember boarding the plane with Patti beside me, our small carry on-s rolling behind us. Patti was excited to be going to go Growood to study theater. I was happy for her; she had the look of an actress. She was five seven, only an inch taller than me, with blonde curly hair and deep blue eyes. Her skin was without blemish or flaw, and she was thin with curves in all the right places. She always dressed fashionably, but with class, and was strong headed like I was. We both knew what we wanted going into college, and we were ready to fight tooth and nail to get it.

At Growood, plenty of distractions popped up so I didn't think about Erik. My classes were tough and rigorous, and when I wasn't studying my requirements or practicing my singing, I was working in the school library for cash. Growood was doing auditions for their first opera of the season, Romeo and Juliet, a few months later during the winter semester. I tried out for a part, and got the role of Juliet's nurse. A freshman at Growood, no matter how good they were, didn't get a lead right off the bat. After all, this wasn't a small time high school. Now, you had to prove yourself first in your classes and studies.

Patti and I worked our butts off to do as well as we did. We saw a lot of our fellow freshman drop out, when they realized how crazy the workload was, and how much Growood's art professors expected. Patti and I, along with sixty-five other students, were the only ones to survive and stay in the theater program as freshmen. And believe me, for a college as big as Growood, that wasn't much.

When the summer months came, things finally slowed down. That year to celebrate our nineteenth birthday, Patti and I (with our college kid budget) ordered pizza, rented a few movies, and bought two big bottles of Mountain Dew. We ended up talking all night, instead of watching the movies, and it became a girl talk confessional.

That was the night Patti told me she slept with someone, and I told her about Erik. I didn't even get past the story of our first dream together, before I busted out bawling. I thought she wouldn't believe me, but seeing me cry must've done something. She stopped looking at me like I was crazy, and began gazing at me with pity, like I was a woman with heartbreak.

"I knew this man for thirteen years." I said, "I knew him longer than I knew you, Patti."

"And you fell in love with him, didn't you?" She asked in her no nonsense, 'just tell it like it is' tone.

I simply cried harder, and she pulled me into a hug. We talked until three in the morning about Erik. By the time I told her everything, I finally felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And she responded as a good friend should.

"He gave you up, Mysteri. So as far as I'm concerned, he can go screw himself." Patti said, "Yes, I get that he was wonderful, but he wants you to live, dear. He's not coming back, so how is hurting over him making your life any better? Do what he said Mysteri. Be a stupid college kid, and have an affair. Live for God's sake."

That was my big ah-ha moment. No, Erik wasn't going to come back to me. So I had to move on, and live for me.

Weeks later, after I hadn't thought about Erik for a while, I met a nice guy named Logan Ashton. Around campus he was known as one of the hottest actors in out theater, both talent and look wise. He was a junior, and I was a sophomore… and he was my first serious relationship. Before Logan, I didn't think about getting married. But then, the option popped into my mind, and I thought it could be a possibility with him. He was a very, very sweet guy. He was humble, which is a shocking trait for a theater kid, and off stage, he was quiet and kept to himself. We dated for a year and a half, and it was wonderful.

But in the end, it didn't work out. He was graduating before me, and was going to go to New York. I cared about him, but I wasn't going to leave my education unfinished to go with him. We talked about it, and decided it was best to simply break up. That was a tough time for me to, but by that point, I was used to being walked out on, and on my own. The pain eased after two months, and I was pretty much a normal theater student to the world. No one could have ever thought of my experiences, or made them up in a book. The secrets of my past were mine and now Patti's.

My junior year at Growood rolled around, and I had stopped thinking about Erik long ago. Sometimes I would see something that reminded me of him, like a pair of fake fangs, or hear Nessun Dorma playing, but I would try brush the memory from my mind. I was my own person. I didn't need him anymore.

And after I learned that, my life drastically changed.

"Ms. Evans, I need to speak to you for a moment."

I looked around Growood Theater, looking for my director and voice teacher Dr. Larson. Rehearsal had just ended, and I knew that she was planning to chastise me for my under the pitch singing. But surely, she knew I had been sick, I had told her…

Dr. Larson was actually a co-director during the opera season, and was helping out with Faust. I had landed the role as Marguerite, and now I spent all my time at the theater for rehearsals, and studying.

I saw Dr. Larson sitting in the front row of the audience, and I hopped down from the stage to talk to her. As I did so, I took a moment to admire Growood Theater. It had been built during the 1910's, when Growood first opened, and it was as grand as any theater one could find in England or France… red velvet seats and all.

"Is there something I can do for you, Dr. Larson?" I asked, sitting down next to her.

She was a little woman, in her early fifties, with white hair she always kept in a tight bun. Her eyes were a watery blue, and she was only four eleven. She always wore long, solid colored dresses, with matching jewels around her neck and in her ears. She was definitely an eccentric artist and music lover, had I ever seen one. But she was a dammed brilliant musician, and had been an opera great when she was younger (she had performed at Carnegie Hall and even at Albert Hall) so everyone took her seriously. The truth was, it was almost like she had come back to Growood as a favor to the school, since that was where she graduated.

"Yes Ms. Evans, actually there is something you can do for me." She stated in her no nonsense British accent, low with age and wisdom.

"It's my singing, isn't it?" I said, "I understand I'm not in top form today, Dr. Larson. I know I'm a bit under the pitch, and it's because I've been getting over a sore throat, but I swear that on Monday I'll do better. I just need the weekend to…"

"Calm yourself, Ms. Evans." She sighed, "I know you always deliver when I ask you to, and I'm well aware you are getting over being sick. If I had a problem with your pitch today, I would've yelled at you during rehearsal." She paused, leaning back against her chair, and folding her hands in her lap. "I want to speak to you about the France Trip coming up. You know that every year I invite twenty of the top students to travel abroad with me for two weeks, to experience the art and culture in a country. This year, we are going to Paris, and I know that I invited you to come three months ago. Now, I need to ask, why did you turn my invitation down?"

I shifted my gaze toward the floor, feeling the same disappointment I felt weeks ago when I had to say no. "I can't afford it, Dr. Larson. I'm saving my money trying to pay for having a dorm and textbooks. And I can't ask my parents to pay for it. They've all ready done so much for me. I'd love to go, you know that, but I can't."
"Ah, but Ms. Evans, someone has decided to sponsor you."

I looked up at her. "Excuse me?"

"You have a sponsor. Someone has decided to pay for your trip for you. The only things you'd have to pay for are some of the lunchtime meals, and if you wanted to get a few souvenirs while you're there. All you'd have to do Ms. Evans is get a passport, and pack. The trip is three weeks from now, after we're done with Faust. So, now that payment is no longer a factor, what do you say about going to France?"

My mouth was hanging open, and it took all the composure I had to not stand up screaming in joy. "Really? Someone has paid my way?"
"Yes."
"Who?"
Dr. Larson gave a sly smile. "The sponsor wishes to remain anonymous."

"But I want to thank them."
"I believe you going on this trip would be enough for them, Ms. Evans. Believe me, I should know."

I looked at her, and smiled. "So, on the 21st, the group is leaving?"

"Yes. At four in the morning we're to be at the bus in front of Winfield Hall, and that'll take us to the airport. Our flight to Paris is at six thirty, so we can't afford to be late. Now, I believe your friend Ms. Trent is going on this trip, so you should be able to room with her."

"I'll be on time. And I'll get my passport taken care of."
"Good Ms. Evans. I hope you enjoy Paris with all of us."

I stood to leave. "I will. Thank you Dr. Larson. Thank you so much!"
She nodded her goodbye to me, and after grabbing my purse and schoolbag from the dressing room, I left the theater, and ran through the college green, back to Patti and I's dorm.

"Patti!" I yelled, bursting through the door, "Oh my God, Patti!"

She was sitting on the bed, reading a script for her theater class, and she looked up at me tiredly. "What?"

"Patti… I'm going to Paris with you! Someone sponsored my trip!"
She dropped the script. "Seriously?"

"Yes!"

"Oh my god, that's great Mysteri!" She yelled standing to hug me. "We can room together in the hotel! It'll be awesome!"

"I'm so excited, Patti, I can't think of the first thing I should do."
"Do you have your passport?"
"No, but it's back home. I think I can have mom send it to me."

"Well, call her. But until then…" At that moment she walked over to my dresser, and pulled out the bottom drawer. I watched her in shock, as she then reached in, and got out a shoebox of money… my life savings, now reduced a bit thanks to dorm costs and textbooks.

"Patti, what are you doing?" I almost screeched, "I thought…"
"What? That you were the only person who knew were you hid your cash? Of course not." She laughed. "I stumbled on it accidentally when one my necklace fell through the cracks of this dresser a few months back. Don't worry, I didn't steal any of it, and I haven't told anyone about it."
"Well, what are you doing?"

"How much money do you have here?"
"What?"

"How much money do you have?"
I sighed, and ran a hand exasperatedly through my hair. "Almost three thousand. Why?"

She opened the box, and dipped her hand into it, counting out about four hundred dollars. "You haven't bought any new clothes for yourself since we've been at Growood." She said, "And no, getting stuff at the thrift store doesn't count, no matter how cute it is. Mysteri, you're going to Paris in three weeks, and they'll be a lot of cute French boys. It's time you got your groove back, girl."

"And your point?"

She smiled. "My point is, I think we need to do a little splurging on you. Mysteri, we're getting you a Paris worthy wardrobe, and there is nothing you can do about it. Now, grab your purse, and stash this cash in there." She handed the wad of bills to me, and grabbed her black leather jacket and handbag. "Let's go."
So I did what any stupid college kid would do. I spent three hundred and eighty-one dollars on a bunch of name brand clothes I really didn't need, and for two hours, had a blast shopping with my best friend.

That night, after putting away four shopping bags full of new clothes, I lay in bed and thought about my trip to Paris. I had always wanted to go there, to see it's Opera House, and stand on the Eiffel Tower, and finally, it was happening. As I closed my eyes to finally drifted off to sleep, I swear I heard, "We'll be together soon, Mysteri…"
I tried to ignore the voice, even though the sound of it still tugged at my heart. It was probably just the memory of Erik living in my mind, haunting it like a mansion empty of life and laughter, never to have another visitor again.