Chapter Twenty
Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe
Thursday, May 23rd, 2030
The sky was gray and dreary that Thursday morning, with the threat of thunderstorms looming. The air was humid and sticky, with only a slight breeze for relief. The fan spun rapidly in the bedroom where Peyton slept soundly before her alarm would rudely awake her. When it did, the bed was otherwise empty, and in her groggy state, she remembered that Lucas had to be at the high school early for an important staff meeting, and took Ella with him. After rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Peyton noticed a note written in Lucas' handwriting on one of her pieces of stationary. She picked it up, and read in the dim light:
Didn't want to wake you. Early day today!
I love you so much, beautiful. Here's to 19 years, and to many more. Happy Anniversary.
Luke
Peyton grabbed her phone from the nightstand and sent her husband a text thanking him for his note, though knowing he most likely wouldn't respond for a bit because of the staff meeting.
The distinct sounds of Riley crying from his room brought Peyton out of bed. She quickly put on her blue silk robe over her nightie and made her way to her son's bedroom. "Riley," she said, her voice soothing and soft. "Mama's here; what's the matter?"
Riley was laying down, tears streaming down his face. Peyton bent down and ran a hand across his face, and he felt hot. "Mama..."
Peyton picked him up, cradled him close to her body so she could feel his forehead. It was warm with fever. "Aw, baby, do you feel sick?"
Riley nodded his head yes, and lay his little head on his mother's shoulder, inhaling her scent. "Cold," he said. His teeth began to chatter.
"You're shivering," Peyton said. She held him closer to her body on instinct, kissed his warm forehead twice. "Come with me," she whispered, and whisked him away before Miles woke. As she lay in bed next to Riley, she texted Miranda saying she'd be unable to come into work. Miranda responded moments later.
Oh dear. Hate to bring this up, Boss, but you have you-know-who coming in today.
"Shit," Peyton whispered to herself. John Knight was coming in from Los Angeles, and she had to be there. She watched her son, who drifted in and out of sleep, and dialed Lucas.
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Lucas sat in an early staff meeting, a cup of coffee by his side. His pen moved across the page of his book as he took notes, when he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his pants. He discretely removed his phone to see his wife calling. In lieu of picking up, he texted her a response.
In a staff meeting. Everything OK?
Riley has a fever. Call me.
Lucas excused himself from the room and stepped into the hallway, where he dialed his wife back. "Riley's sick?"
"I just took his temperature. He has a fever. I want to stay with him but I have to go into work because John is flying in from LA."
"And you have to be there?"
"Yes, otherwise Miranda wouldn't have brought it up. Can you come home?"
"Babe, I wish I could, but I can't. Patricia is out today and they just told me I have to sub. I have basketball practice after school too." His wife heaved an irritated sigh. "I know….I'm sorry."
"Then I'll just have to call Karen. We can't leave him with Roslyn; him, Miles and my dad are too much to handle at once. Plus if I can't have you with him, then I want your mom there."
"Sounds good to me. Do you want me to call her?"
"No, I'll do it."
"Alright. I'm sorry, Peyt. I'll call later on to check in, OK? Maybe go home at lunchtime?"
"If you want."
"Don't be upset…."
"Well of course I'm upset. My baby's sick and I can't stay with him." She took a deep cleansing breath. "...I'll see you later on, Luke."
"OK..." he said, carefully. "I'll be home around 6:30…I love you."
"Love you too." The phone clicked right after, and Peyton's voice faded. Lucas hung his head back in frustration, and then went back to the meeting.
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In the bit of downtime Lucas had after school and before basketball practice, he decided to pay Ella a visit at the Tutor Center. It'd appeared as though she'd just gotten there, had clocked in and was prepping for her first student. Lucas rapped on the door with his knuckles, and it stole her attention.
"Hey, Dad!"
"Hey kiddo." He walked in and took a seat at her table by the corner window and water cooler. She took a seat across from him.
"Happy Anniversary to you and Mom!"
"Thanks," Lucas said through his smile. "Although, I can already tell it's not going to go exactly as planned."
"How come?"
"Riley's sick." He watched as his daughter's ears perked up and her eyes filled in concern.
"Sick with what?"
"He's got a bit of a fever. Your mom had to go to work because John Knight is in town, but Grandma Karen is with him right now, monitoring his temperature. I'm gonna call to check on things in a little bit."
"But it's not like, a high fever, right?"
"It's a fever, but not a high one. He should be alright with some rest."
"So I guess that does mean your grand gesture has to be put on hold," she said, a sympathetic gaze in her eyes.
"Guess so," Lucas agreed. His hand tapped the table. "Ah, well. What can you do, right?"
"What was the grand gesture, anyhow?"
Lucas smiled. "Can't tell you."
"Oh come on," she said, gave him a pleading look. "No hints?"
"No hints!" Lucas checked his wrist watch. "I gotta get going to prep for practice." He leaned in and kissed his daughter on the cheek. "I'll see you after."
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By the time 6:45 rolled around that evening, the house was miraculously quiet. Ella was exhausted from hours of tutoring fellow students and retreated to her room, saying she wasn't hungry enough for supper.
Lucas found his wife sitting at the kitchen table with a tall glass of water. "Hey," he greeted her, and the look of relief on her face was unmistakable.
"Hi," she said, standing up from the table. "What's behind your back?"
Lucas revealed a bouquet of white lilies, with a card attached bearing Peyton's name. "For you."
"Aw, they're beautiful," she said, her voice a gentle whisper. She reached over the bouquet to give her husband a kiss. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. How's our boy?"
"His fever broke, thank God," Peyton replied. "Your mom is upstairs with him. She said he fell asleep not too long ago."
"He ate?"
"I made him some soup; he ate the whole bowlful."
"Good, good." Lucas took a seat beside his wife.
"Where's Ella?"
"She went straight upstairs; she's exhausted. Full schedule of kids today." Lucas reached for Peyton's hand and kissed the top of it.
A set of familiar footsteps announced Karen's arrival. "Riley's conked out," she said, taking a seat at the table, and reaching to pat her son on the arm. "Happy Anniversary, love birds!"
"Thanks!"
"Congratulations you two. I always knew you'd make it."
Karen's statement took the couple by a slight surprise. It wasn't that they disregarded that tumultuous time a few years ago when Lucas left….rather, they fought hard to move forward, learn and grow from it. Still though, comments that brought them to–if only for a moment–back then delivered a strange sensation.
For Peyton, it was the tears in her eyes. Lucas' chest tightened and he swallowed without saying a word, and only feeling an immeasurable sense of gratitude for getting these past 19 years, good and bad.
"Thank you,Karen."
"Thanks, Ma," Lucas sent her a wink.
"Well, I should get going," Karen announced.
"Why?" Peyton asked. "I thought you were going to stay over."
"Yeah, stay!" Lucas said. "What's the rush?"
Karen chuckled slightly. "Well, I was sort of thinking I would let my son and his wife have some alone time on their anniversary."
"Alone time in this house is basically impossible," Lucas joked.
"Agreed," Peyton said. A shrill shout from Larry looking for his daughter from upstairs proved Lucas' point. "See? I'll be right back."
"Ma, did Peyt eat, do you know?"
"No, she didn't. She wanted to wait for you; why?"
"Perfect." He sprung up from the table. "Can you grab some candles for me?"
A sly smirk appeared on Karen's face. "Is this your grand gesture this year?"
"A modified version," Lucas admitted. He grabbed the silver candle holders and a set of the fancy plates, that they only brought out on special occasions and holidays. Karen placed the candles in their holders and began to heat up the food she had made.
"I grilled chicken and shrimp; I hope that's fancy enough."
"That's great."
"You're sure you don't want me to scram outta here?"
"Yes, I'm sure. We love having you. Plus, this way Larry can have some company and won't call for Peyton every five seconds."
Karen laughed. "Right. OK; you convinced me." Her ears perked at the sound of footsteps "She's coming! I'll be upstairs."
"Thanks, Ma!"
"Anytime."
When Peyton reentered the kitchen to see lit candles atop the table and romantic music playing, she gave her a husband a look he knew all too well by now. "...How long was I gone?"
He laughed. "Get over here. Sit." Lucas spooned the hot food onto two plates. "I can't take credit for the dinner, but I can take credit for the candles and the music and the overall lovely ambience."
"Nice work," she said, watched as he poured her a glass of seltzer water with ice, and a beer for himself.
"What did your dad want?"
"He wanted to show me something on the news." Peyton took a bite of the food. "So how was practice?"
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When the last bite of food had been eaten and the last drop of alcohol sipped, the couple quietly made their way upstairs hand in hand. "Shh," Peyton said, not wanting to wake her children.
"Must you shush so loud?"
"Mama!" came Riley's young call.
"You see?" she hissed.
"I didn't do anything!" Lucas said, and followed his wife into the boys' room. Miles was with Karen in Larry's room, so as not to take any chances with both babies getting sick.
"Hi baby; you're up, huh?" Peyton took her eldest soon into her arms and cradled him there, rocked him back and forth. He rested his head on her bosom, at which she felt his forehead, which was no longer warm.
"Sleep with you," he said in his little voice.
"You wanna sleep with Mommy and Daddy in the big bed?"
"Yah," Riley said. "Big bed."
"OK baby; let's go!"
Eventually the three of them lay in the big Queen size bed in Lucas and Peyton's bedroom. With his head once more in Peyton's bosom, and with Lucas stroking his hair, the boy fell asleep rather fast. Lucas was left to stare at his wife, his smile soft and his eyes an icy blue. They had an entire conversation without saying a word, until…
"Happy Anniversary. Love you," Lucas whispered over Riley's head.
"I love you too," Peyton mouthed, and soon their eyes fluttered to a close, and one night leaked into the next day. The day of the 19th anniversary of their marriage came to an end.
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Friday, May 24th, 2030
Most of prom day was spent preparing with Isa, who I was sharing a limousine with. Aunt Brooke insisted on being there and helping me with my makeup and things.
"OK, I think you're ready. Do you feel ready?"
Aunt Brooke and Mom stood over each of my shoulders as I looked myself over in the mirror. My hair was half up, half down and wavy, my makeup simple and understated. The dress was stunning. "Wow. I can't believe it took all that to make me look like this."
"Oh stop it," Mom and Aunt Brooke said, both swatting my shoulders. "You look beautiful."
All of us turned when we heard the distinct sounds of the front doorbell ringing. "I think that means Hec and Finn are here," Isa said, peering out the window. She looked fabulous in her purple C/B original.
Mom and Aunt Brooke headed towards the door. "OK, wait, don't come down until we say."
"...Really?"
"Yes, really," Aunt Brooke said. "I'll text you." She shut the door and Isa and I were left alone.
"It's like a movie," she chuckled. "That's awesome."
"I feel like I'm being presented to high society or something."
"Hah! Totally. It'll make for nice photos, though."
"Right. Did your dad bring his fancy camera?" In addition to being an artist and illustrator, Isa's dad was also a talented photographer.
"Yeah! He did." She turned when my phone buzzed in a text from Aunt Brooke. "What's she say?"
"'We're ready for you. Come down one at a time!'" I looked at my friend. "...Jesus."
Isa laughed. "I think it's sweet."
"So...who should go first?"
Isa shrugged. "I dunno."
I gestured to her. "You go."
"You sure?"
"Positive. See you down there."
Isa squeezed my hand. "See you. You look amazing!"
"You too!"
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Ringing the doorbell at Ella's house was an ordinary yet extremely nerve-wracking experience, knowing that her parents–really, entire family–were on the other side of the door. A hand on Finn's neatly dressed shoulder caused him to turn his head to the left.
"You nervous?"
"No," Finn said, a hint of color filling his cheeks. "...OK, yeah."
Finn's mother, Sarah, who wore her auburn hair down to her shoulders, and sunglasses perched on her head, sent him a reassuring glance. Her Canon camera sat in its bag, which was in her firm grip. "Don't be nervous, kid! You really like her, don't you?"
"Yeah I do, but it's like, her whole family."
Sarah laughed. "Stay calm. You have me as reinforcement. I'll talk you up real good."
Finn hung his head back. "Ah, geez."
"That's what moms are for, babe!" She jostled him with her elbow a bit, and then the door opened. A tall blonde man stood on the other side, carrying an adorable little boy in his arms.
"Hello! I'm Lucas, Ella's dad, and this is Riley." Lucas gestured to his son, who hid his face in Lucas' shoulder. "Come on in!" Finn and Sarah stepped into the foyer of their home, and were hit with warmth and comfort. Lucas set Riley on the ground, and the boy ran off. He was fever-free and feeling good. "You must be Finn. Great to meet you!"
Lucas' grip was firm and no nonsense, and Finn's heart rate spiked. "Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Scott." Finn put his arm around his mom's shoulder. "This is my mom, Sarah. She really wanted to come with."
Sarah scowled playfully at her son. "For the photos! You'll thank me years from now for all the memories." She smiled in Lucas' direction. "Sarah Sutter. Nice to meet you."
Lucas ushered them into the parlor. "Ella's not done getting a seat! Help yourself." He gestured to the spread of crackers, cheese, and grapes. "My wife is around here somewhere." Lucas patted another young handsome man on the shoulder. "This is Hector."
Hector waved awkwardly. "Nice to meet y'all. I'm Isabel's boyfriend."
"Oh right!" Finn and Hector shook hands, after which Hector introduced everyone to his mother, Yolanda, or Yoli, for short.
Hector and Finn got to talking, after which a woman he presumed to be Ella's mom came into the space. "Hi. Wow, you guys look so handsome. I'm Peyton, Ella's mom."
Finn stood up from his seat. "Finn Fitzpatrick, and this is my mom, Sarah Sutter."
The two women greeted one another, with composure and politeness and genuineness. "Can I get you both something to drink? Yoli? The girls are about to come down."
Finn said, "I'm good. Mom, you want something?"
"Water would be great." Sarah took a seat next to Finn on the couch. "This is a nice house," she whispered to him. They both chuckled. "Feeling insufficient," she joked.
"Never," Finn whispered back, nudged his mother's shoulder with his own.
` "OK, the girls are coming down," a beautiful brunette announced. "I'm Brooke, for those of you just meeting me."
"Is that...Brooke Davis?" Sarah asked quietly, her mouth agape.
"Dunno. ..Who's that?"
The sound of heels on hardwood stole everyone's attention, and Finn and Hector stood up, unsure who it could be. They both stood holding a different corsage, and took deep breaths. Sarah got out her camera from its bag, ready to start snapping photos.
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I stood over the banister, listening to the rightful oohs and ahhs as Isa went down the stairs. I waited a bit, practically twiddling my thumbs. With every passing minute, I got more nervous.
"Ella!"
"Yeah?"
"Come down!" Came my aunt's voice, followed by laughter.
"Oh!" I scurried to the head of the stairs. "I wasn't sure! Coming."
As I made my careful way down the steps, the flash photography had already begun. I saw my parents, looking so proud and each holding one of my brothers, Grandpa Larry, Roslyn, Isa and Hector, and Aunt Brooke, who'd volunteered to take photos. There was another camera going off, and it belonged to a woman who I figured to be Finn's mom.
Several photographs later, myself, Finn, Isa, and Hector sat in the limousine which headed to senior prom. Hector closed us off from the limo driver, after which he brought out a flask from the inside pocket of his suit jacket. "Who wants?"
"Seriously?" Isa hissed.
"What?" Hector defended. "It's prom!"
"I'll have some," Finn said, after which he took a swig of whatever was in the flask. He gestured it in my direction.
"What the hell," I said, and took a swig myself.
"There we go!" Finn cheered.
"You do know they're gonna have teachers checking to make sure we don't bring in alcohol," Isa said in a whisper.
"I know, that's why I brought it out now," Hector said, laughing. "Relax. I won't get us thrown out of prom; I promise." He leaned in and kissed Isa's cheek.
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I will admit, our graduating class' Senior Prom Committee really outdid themselves for this year's event. The place was beautiful.
"This is nice," Finn said. We people-watched those dancing after we ate a little something and took more photos. His arm was around my shoulder, and I subtly looked him over. "You wanna dance?"
"Oh. I don't really dance," I said. My cheeks colored a bit.
"Sure you do," he said, turned slightly to me. "Is it because you feel self conscious?"
"Super self conscious."
"Totally unnecessary," he said, and took my hand in his. "Nobody's worried about how you look; they're worried about how they look. Let's go!"
"Alright fine!" I took his hand and carefully made my way to the dance floor.
I danced as long as I could before getting tired, which wasn't a long time. After returning to my seat, Finn asked me if I wanted anything to drink.
"I'm good," I said. In my periphery I noticed Hector and his two friends leave the dancing area and head to one of the balconies, but not before Hec turned around and invited Finn to come along.
"I think he wants me to go mingle," he said.
"Go ahead!" I felt him squeeze my hand before joining the guys.
Not soon after he left did Sheff take a seat beside me. "Hey!" I said, patted him on the arm. "Looking sharp, buddy!" He wore an off-gray suit with a black tie. A boutonniere sat snugly on his suit lapel, which told me he had a date to this thing. "So you took Sarah after all, huh?"
Sheff blushed a bit. "I did." He looked over his shoulder to who I presumed to be Sarah with two other Tree Hill High seniors. "I think it's going well! You look fantastic, by the way."
"Aw, thanks!" I patted his hand.
"And you look happy," he said, and I could tell he was being sincere by his tone.
His sentiment hit me unexpectedly, but I didn't let it show on my face. 'Thanks, Sheff. You too!"
"So who's the lucky guy who got to bring you here?"
I smiled and it was my turn to blush. "His name is Finn."
"Are you guys a thing?"
I let out an airy chuckle. "Um...we're just...hanging out," I finished, lamely.
Sheff nodded. If he saw me blush, he didn't point it out. "I respect that. It's good to see you with big smiles again."
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As prom began to wind down, Isa and Hector proposed we hang out all together, afterwards, and I came up with the idea to hang out on my grandpa's boat. This time I had asked my father's permission, and he gave it to me, handing me the keys before I left our house in the limousine.
"Damn, this boat is beautiful," Hector said, whistling. Finn agreed. He took a look at the liquor cabinet and gently tugged on the glass door. "It's locked. Ella, do you have the key?"
I checked the keys that dad gave me, and the small gold key that I knew unlocked the liquor cabinet was missing. "No," I said, dead-pan. "No wonder my dad gave me permission to come here so easily; he took the key to the liquor cabinet away. Evil genius!"
"No biggie," Hector said. "Anybody got a paperclip?"
"For what?" Isa asked.
"To pick the lock."
"You know how to pick locks? Where did you learn that?"
Hector laughed. "Babe, it's not that big of a deal. Anyone knows how to pick a stupid lock. Why're you looking at me like that?"
Isa shrugged. "No reason."
"Don't worry," Finn piped up. "It's prom!"
"So, paperclip? How about a hairpin?"
Isa took a glance at me, I shrugged, after which she reached up and took out one of the many hair pins in her hair. "Ugh. Here. Did you ask Ella if it was OK for you to do this?"
All eyes were on me. "Go ahead. It's prom," I droned, and Hector bent down on one knee to successfully unlock the liquor cabinet.
The evening was pretty mellow, as we all talked and laughed about light things. Isa and Hector left after awhile, and soon it was just me and Finn on the boat, listening to music and drinking mixed drinks. Our shoulders touched as we chatted atop the bed, as there was nowhere else to sit. "You want more to drink?" he asked me. His tie was undone, suit jacket on the chair across the space, shoes and socks off too.
"No thanks," I answered. "I already had two."
"Alright," Finn said, and he took my glass from me, rested his atop the bar cart, then ventured back to sit next to me. The tops of our hands touched, and I grabbed his hand in mine.
"Finn," I said. "Thanks a lot for doing this."
"Doing what?"
"Taking me to prom….hanging out with me tonight. You really made it….you really made it nice and stuff."
He chuckled and squeezed my hand. "Stuff?"
"You know what I mean. You were a great date. I really appreciate it."
"No problem," he said, with a light smile. His brown eyes seemed to glint when he looked at me. His thumb traced circles on my knuckles. "It was all pretty effortless on my part. I mean, I've had a crush on you for years."
"What?" I laughed.
"It's true," he replied. When he kissed me, his lips, though slightly chapped, were gentle. His hand moved to my waist, where he pulled me close to him. My arms went around his neck. Soon his tongue swiped my lip, and then slipped into my mouth, as his other hand went up and down the fabric of my dress. When he broke away, he breathed out, "Here," and lifted me to lay down against the pillows on the bed.
"Wait," I said. "...Can I tell you something?"
"Yeah sure."
"OK...don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I really wanna get out of this dress," I said, my cheeks heating up. The dress had begun to pinch and press against my body, and I was getting agitated.
Finn smirked, and he leaned forward and kissed my lips lightly. "How could I ever take that the 'wrong' way?"
My palm rested on his cheek. "I meant like...ugh, I don't know what I meant."
"Because you think it'd mean we'd automatically bang?" he chuckled.
"No," I said. "Maybe."
"Well, it doesn't." His next kiss was tender, long, and wet, then he pulled me to sit up. "Do you want me to help you?"
I nodded, as both excitement and nervousness churned in my stomach. Seeing as I didn't have a change of clothes, Finn was the first boy who would see me naked since Adrian.
Finn started with the zipper, which he pulled down ever so gently. Then he pulled down the straps which rested on my shoulders. Soon the red dress slinked to the floor, and I stepped out of it. With my back to him, I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist, his palm swipe across my flat belly. His lips peppered kisses on my neck. He helped me onto the bed, and I lay back on the pillows, still in panties. He quickly unbuttoned his cotton button down, pulled down his pants. His black and red boxer briefs clung tightly to his body, and I found myself memorizing the feeling it gave me–that unforgettable rush of desire. "What?" he asked.
"You're kinda hot."
"Kinda?" I couldn't help but run my palm down his chest, tracing lines on his abs with my finger. He moved the hair away from my eyes and said, "You're really beautiful."
"Thanks," came out in a whisper. I saw the way he saw me and my bare body for the first time, with a certain kind of tenderness I'd never seen before, and I calmed. He exhaled deeply, let his breath–which smelled faintly like vodka–hit me like mist. With my slender fingers running through his hair, he leaned down and circled the tip of his tongue around my left aureola, before taking my nipple into his mouth. It was warm and his tongue slick and wet. He tugged on my nipple and I moaned loudly.
"Are you OK? Did that hurt?"
"No; I'm just super sensitive there."
"So it was a good moan," Finn said, and I could hear his smirk even though I couldn't see it with the way his head angled toward my chest. He put his mouth on me once more, flicked his tongue over my nipple, while massaging my right breast with his free hand. A mixture of pain and pleasure coursed through me, and he kissed up my chest until his lips pressed against mine, and there we stayed. We kissed until our lips got swollen, let our tongues explore the other's mouth. Soon he thrust his pelvis against mine, and I gasped at the feel of him hard against me.
"Wait a sec," I said, though I was practically out of breath from the making out. "Um..I don't...I don't think–"
"Ella," he said, ever so calm, "We don't have to have sex if you don't want to. There are plenty of things we can do that's not intercourse."
"Yeah?"
"Sure," he said, a soft smile on his face. "Besides, sex on prom night is overdone anyway, don't ya think? I feel like we're way too young to be cliches."
"You're right," I said, as we switched to laying on our sides. My eyes darted to his erection pushing against his black and red boxer briefs, and I gently rested my hand there, beginning to rub him through the fabric. "There are plenty things we can do." Finn's head lolled back, his eyes shut, as he silently pleaded for me to keep going. I pulled his underwear down to his thighs and kept stroking him in a rhythm, alternating between going fast and slow. He got harder and harder, pulsed and throbbed in my palm.
"That feels really good."
I continued until eventually, my hands began to tire, but I didn't want to stop. So I leaned down, rubbed my lips against his tip in a teasing sort of way, before taking him into my mouth. Finn began to moan loudly when I started sucking him, and I decided there was absolutely nothing sexier than the sounds escaping his lips.
When I did eventually stop, we lay on our sides, Finn's fingers rubbed my belly button, then went down, and further down, until they snuck under the hem of my panties into my heat. His thumb found my clit pretty effortlessly, and I felt him watch me writhe. "You're wet," he breathed. He edged closer to me, held me as my legs began to twitch. I grabbed his bicep as he began to finger me, his movements fast and unapologetic. He yanked my panties off and continued his ministrations, until his tongue started licking me and I just melted then and there. Once and a while he'd moan at my warmth and my scent, and it turned me on even more. In the middle of it all, he reached up and entwined our hands, which rested on my belly. He stopped using his tongue only to kiss me there, and kept going, kept going until I was left quivering and damp. "You came," he whispered.
"You're surprised? I have...you know...done this before."
"Clearly," Finn said, an adorable grin on his face.
My cheeks burned red at his insinuation. "Stop!" I covered my face with my hands, curled into the pillow like a shrimp.
His laugh was sweet and genuine. "Hey!" he pulled my hands away from my face, kissed my lips three times. "Don't be shy."
"You just...turn me on a lot."
"Are you kidding? You turn me on so bad. It's insane."
I ran my hands up and down his bare arms as I looked up at him. "So..." I took a breath. "I know you want to have sex…and I've been making you wait. I hate to sound like a cliché, because you're right, we are too young for that, but sex is a big thing for me. I've only been with one guy, and I need to really, really trust the person I'm with. I'm not saying I don't trust you," I added quickly. "I mean I'm laying in bed naked with you...I just feel triply vulnerable than someone...than someone who doesn't have CP. You know?"
"I understand."
"I mean I need to...I need to feel completely safe. If something were to happen...I wouldn't be able to defend myself."
"Hey," he said, his eyes a deep brown when I finally looked into them. "Ella...I'd never hurt you. I'm not like that."
"I think I'm just scared."
"You don't have to feel scared when you're with me. I'll protect you."
My eyes were teary. I inhaled and said, "OK. Next time?"
"Whatever you say," Finn said, his voice soft. He leaned on his side and brought me to face him. "So, do you ever have dreams where you don't have CP?"
"Oh, all the time," I replied.
"Really?"
"Yeah!" I began to tell Finn about bits and pieces of dreams that I remembered from recently, just the two of us on the boat in the marina.
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