Still sad. it may or may not reflect in this chapter. Still unbelievably tired, so if the ideas in this chapter are weird or the construction is poor, i think we'll all know why. What can i say? life of a senior is hard, especially when trying to outshine one's arch nemesis.
I was anxiously looking forward to Wednesday afternoon, when. Would finally be able to spend time with my cousins again. When I thought about it, I decided it probably was a little stupid hat I missed them already, since most of the time they made me regret the day I had decided to take them in, but as Temari kept insisting, i loved them and that was that.
I floated through most of my Tuesday classes, since it was stuff i already knew anyway. Itachi had decided to start communicating with me in class - it seemed like he wanted to go that extra mile jus to annoy Tobi and force him into a conflict which would hopefully resolve everything. i breezed through after school baseball practice as well, spending most of the time with both Itachi and Konan - who i found i missed a considerable amount, and who Itachi had told about the switching.
That boy really needed to learn to shut his mouth.
The three of us - and three others - were sitting out on the bench as subs, which was good because i didn't know the first thing about baseball anyway.
"So did you say yes?" Konan asked suddenly, breaking the silence with a question which i didn't immediately understand.
It really hadn't taken long for me to fall out of the loop with my friends. things were always, always changing with them.
Itachi sighed, "what do you think?" he asked.
"I think you better tell me the answer yourself between you find yourself physically impaired, because i think that i hated to guess," Konan replied sweetly.
I looked blankly between my two friends before Konan caught me looking. she leaned in and whispered - having to lean over Itachi - with that gleeful smile i had seen Tobi wear o occasion, "Kisame finally got the nerve to ask Itachi out today. i'm trying to figure out what he said."
Are you kidding?" i stage whispered back, we both looked up at Itachi to see him staring at us, annoyed, "of course he said yes!"
Even though i was in this body - and even though i often wished i had never been sucked into their insanity - it felt wonderful to interact with my friends again.
I knew Itachi would definitely say yes, no matter how the question was worded, unless his family had taken extreme measures to intervene, but just the fact that Kisame had dared to ask, said that Itachi's family wouldn't be an issue.
Konan smiled and leaned back, saying out loud, "did ya? huh, huh, huh?" with every 'huh' she poked him on the cheek, smiling that smile which was hard to get mad at.
Again Itachi sighed, displaying that eternal patience of his. "If you must know, i said yes."
"I KNEW IT!" Konan all but squealed, pointing at him as though he'd committed a crime, "Tobi said this would happen."
Itachi pointedly looked at me when he said, "We should all listen to Tobi. Tobi is always right."
The rest of the practice was a blur of watching the younger boys struggle - and fail - to beat the younger members of the girls team, and listening to Konan squeeze every last bit of information out of Itachi.
I knew she basically had every member of our group paired up with people in her mind, whether or not with other people in the group - just like Tobi did - but i had always wondered, in their grand scheme where did i belong?
The only way an of them had ever pushed me was away from Deidara, and if that was the course they had set out for me, i was almost a hundred percent sure that i couldn't go thorough with it.
I found falling asleep that night to be probably one of the hardest things i'd ever had to do.
Dinner with Deidara's family was painful as always, and i spent a bit of time with his sister afterwards, since she reminded me so much of a younger version of Temari, but it seemed i was simply too excited for a small taste of home, to fall asleep right away.
Was this how Deidara felt when he was here?
I was beginning to understand him a little better and the way he wanted to no material things or money, only a family who loved him and a roof over his head that only leaked during really bad storms.
Right now i would much rather have the safety of my family around me, rather than the safety of this big house and a working alarm system. that didn't mean anything to me since I wasn't scared of anything that couldn't get past an alarm system.
I fell asleep around three in the morning.
The next day was pretty much more of the same, except instead of paying attention, i fell asleep in most of Deidara's classes, and during the breaks i managed to find a quiet enough spot to get a bit more sleep. Itachi kept trying to talk to me and Tobi was clearly getting annoyed, which I had to admit was pretty funny, but compared to the fact that Deidara and Temari were waiting for me outside the gate after school, i really couldn't care less about anything that had ever happened in my life.
Ah, but what to say? because i wasn't me right now. i had to pretend to be somebody i wasn't and i hadn't taken into consideration, how painful that would be.
"Hey Deidara!" Temari waved at me, a smile on her face. It felt as if I hadn't seen her in so long and it killed me that she was using somebody else's name to speak to me. "Geez, its like I haven't seen you in years!"
Even if it had only been a couple of days. Though she didn't seem entirely regretful about that fact.
Maybe she hadn't been able to tell the difference.
Maybe she was simply happier with the way things were right now.
"Yeah, I now the feeling, ...un," I said. I felt incredibly awkward using that speech impediment in front of her.
I had persuaded Deidara's driver to leave the car here for me, he was happy to do so and now the only issue was -
"Here, let me drive," Deidara took the keys right out of my hand.
Good, because I didn't know the first thing about driving - though I was sure Deidara didn't know much more than that - and I didn't want my cousins to be hurt because of such circumstances.
"You don't even have a licence!" Temari protested, "is it even safe for you to be driving?"
"He doesn't have a licence either, un," Deidara muttered, before unlocking the back door and motioning for Temari to get in, "quit arguing kid, I'm an adult and an awesome driver. Would I let you get in the car if it wasn't safe?"
Temari frowned, but it seemed that she trusted him - or at least the body he was in - even if he wasn't technically an adult.
I was dismayed by the level of trust Gaara seemed to have in Deidara, and the look he gave me once he got in the car, and once again I was annoyed by the fact that Kankuro got n the car before Deidara even bothered to roll down the window, though this time I wasn't in a position to lecture him about it, but I got to listen to Deidara telling him off instead.
Deidara seemed to notice all of this and the effect it had on me, he said really quietly, "Relax Danna, they're only behaving like this because they think i'm you."
"I know, but i didn't think it was going to be like this."
"well hopefully we can get switched back over the weekend. you can return to your loving family and i can return to mine."
right.
I had been so selfish that i forgot that after this was over, Deidara still had to live this nightmare of a life.
I tried to reason that he was used to it and so it wouldn't be so bad, but i knew it was going to kill him to go back, just like this was killing me now. so i decided i would endure it, all of it. if he was brave enough, then so was i.
I think that he and i did a wonderful job of switching positions; i played the part of their older cousins fun boyfriend - i had decided that it was okay to use that term by now - and he played the part of dull, concerned older cousin who hated almost everyone and everything.
It was nice for once, to pretend to be a kid, and to actually act like one too. In my rush to grow up, i had forgotten to run around and be stupid and laugh and have fun, though i was happy that none of my cousins had missed the opportunity to embrace their inner child. their laughter was a clear sign that i had done a good enough job of raising them, they were happy and had everything they needed, i was a good guardian.
It made me happy to know all of this.
We did everything; all of those mall things which they had done together before; window shopping for things we wouldn't be able to afford until one of us got an awesome job. we got food, which Deidara insisted i pay for using his money - what, that even confused me and i was there - we stole stuff - yeah, i went and allowed my cousins to steal stuff, but i guessed it would be okay because i wasn't me and so they wouldn't get the idea that this was something they could do on a daily basis.
And then, of course, the thing i had been dreading.
The arcade.
Of course, Kankuro smelled it - yeah, he smelled it - from a mile away and decided that we absolutely had to go but that's not even the worst part.
Get ready for this, seriously it blew my mind too.
Kankuro's eyes lit up and he said, "let's go and play!" He grabbed Deidara's arm - remember at this point Deidara is still in my body - looking up at him excitedly, and said, "Come-on Deidara, we didn't get to play each other at Dance Dance Revolution!"
Sasori's two other cousins looked at Kankuro as if he'd broken some kind of pact and he looked down at his shoes, a look of shame on his face.
"Dude, what the hell!" Temari hissed, clearly the most annoyed about this.
"I just... I wanted to play arcade games," Kankuro said quietly.
Gaara sighed, "we never should've let them bring us to the mall."
Danna and I seemed to reach the exact same conclusion at the exact same time.
"You knew about this?!" Sasori asked, dropping my speech impediment and sounding completely outraged.
All three cousins nodded firmly.
"And you thought it would be a good idea to go along with it, un?" I asked, glad to be able to speak normally.
"Well yeah, that was the plan," Temari said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Geez, did everybody know?
What the hell was wrong with these kids?
"Wait a minute," Sasori said, eyeing his cousins suspiciously, " I know how Itachi found out, but how the hell did you kids figure it out?"
Good point.
Temari laughed, the first to have any reaction at all.
"Well duh, how the hell do you think you ended up this way?" She asked.
"Witch!" I pointed at her accusingly, causing her to laugh even more.
"I'm not a witch," she said calmly.
"Then how, un?"
"And why?" Sasori added.
Temari shrugged, this time not having an answer, "for the luls?" She said, phrasing it like a question rather than as a statement.
We looked to Gaara for answers, "how the hell would I know?" He asked, "I was hiding when it happened!"
Right, and seeing ghosts in my creepy house. I still had to investigate that.
"Because you and Temari were fighting and I didn't want to go home if you were both gong to fight and be mad!" Kankuro yelled, clearly upset.
Ding, ding, ding!
It seemed we had a winner.
"This is your fault?" Sasori seethed.
This was actually starting to amuse me, because out of everybody, Kankuro was the person I least expected to have any of the answers.
"What did you do, un?"
He seemed to be even more upset about me asking that. He said, "I told you and you didn't believe me! I told you I had powers in my mind but you just ignored me!"
"Tell me your not serious," Sasori said through gritted teeth.
Okay, for the record, I had always maintained reasonable doubt that there was something weird going on in that boy's head.
"See, there you go again, trivializing my words!"
"Wow, I didn't think he'd know any big words, un," I said quietly on the sidelines.
"We've been working on it," Temari said just as quietly and outside of the main conversation.
We both stopped at the look Sasori gave us. If looks could kill I swear, the entire mall would be dead by now.
Oh hey, we were still in the mall! Oh, and it seemed we'd made a bit of a scene...
I wasn't ready to be looked at right now!
"Forget it, I don't want to be switched back! You can stay in that body and raise these three brats," Sasori concluded.
Oh no, that just wouldn't do.
Much as I wanted to stay in a place where I felt loved, I wanted to fight for my fathers love even more. I did not go through all of this just to be stopped by a damn temper tantrum!
"But Danna, in, whoever is in that body, is getting married in three weeks," I reminded him quietly, so that only he and his cousins would be able to hear, "and besides, now that I know they know its me, you don't really want me to raise your cousins do you? They'd be dead or worse within a year' un!"
He seemed to consider it for a moment, probably mainly just considering what it would mean to marry Aiko, before coming to a quick conclusion as to what should be done.
"Change us back, kid," he told Kankuro. "You can do that, right?"
Kankuro nodded, smiling because his powers were being acknowledged - before this happened to me, I probably would've leaned more towards disbelief, despite my reasonable doubt theory.
"But it won't be the same as getting you to switch."
"I swear to god, if you kids are fucking with me," Sasori left the threat hanging, not even caring that he had sworn in front of his cousins.
"Alright kid, what do you have to do un?" I asked.
"Not him, you!" Temari exclaimed gleefully, practically bursting at the seams.
Kankuro looked a little embarrassed, bursting with some for of weird happiness just like his sister, he said, "i think since the way i switched you, was verbal and not physical, well um, maybe if you were to um..." he pushed his fingers together awkwardly, either to illustrate his point or to emphasize his embarrassment, "its pretty likely that you'll be able to switch back."
What?
Did you catch any of that?
I sure as hell didn't.
Gaara scowled, a lot less excited than his older siblings, "they want you to kiss," he said plainly.
Oh.
Kankuro and Temari both nodded, the former blushing, bursting with embarrassment.
"Perverts," Sasori muttered, "you kids probably set it up this way on purpose."
"They did," Gaara said dully.
"Now I guess it's just a matter of how much you want to be in your own body!" Temari exclaimed.
Maybe she didn't understand that we were in public and maybe nether of them realised how weird it would be to kiss yourself, even if there was somebody else's consciousness inside your body.
But it would only be for a few moments.
Had I been thinking about anything besides my ultimate goal n life, would've realised that there were other people around us and that word travels fast around this town, but I wasn't and so I didn't think about any of that.
Because it seemed Sasori wanted so much more to be back in his own body; he kissed me with almost no hesitation, eyes shut tight. I heard Temari make that typical fujoshi noise, before my own eyes slipped shut and I felt myself get lost in the moment.
The kiss was soft and sweet, but I felt sparks run through me, either because of the switch or because of the bond I was sure Sasori and i shared, I couldn't tell. I couldn't move or do anything except press back but it was fine because for ow I was content to stay in this moment, maybe forever.
It reminded me of he fairy tales my mother used to tell me, where two people - usually a prince and his princess - would kiss to remove a curse, except in this situation it was two high school students, both dudes, and the curse was just being passed on - the curse being my mess of a family.
Then it was over, as quick as it had started, and I opened my eyes in my own body and I had to pretend that I was happy about it.
"It worked, un!" I exclaimed, glad to hear my own voice come out. I jumped up and down to express my happiness and to hide the fact that I was dying just a little, deep down inside.
"Of course it did, what do you take me for?" Kankuro asked. "Now can we please go inside and play Dance Dance Revolution?"
Of course, since it was my favorite game, I agreed and I kicked his butt seven times out of ten - Sasori wasn't happy that we decided to play for that long - and I was happy, until it ended and I had to drive them home and watch them go off and live their happy lives without me.
I shouldn't have gotten so used to it. Really, it was my own fault.
I parked outside their building, in one of the six poorly outlined parking spots, between a beat up old truck and a cute purple mini, which looked way out of place here.
Sasori and his three cousins had the same reaction when the noticed the car.
"Didn't you just get the letter yesterday?" Sasori asked.
"Yeah we did," Temari confirmed, "what the hell is she dong here so quickly?"
"How the hell did she get our address?" Gaara asked.
"She probably knew we'd burn the letter," Kankuro said, "I'm surprised she actually got out in a place like this."
I knew they must've been talking about their grandmother.
Sasori sighed, "alright, well you know the drill. Granny Chiyo wants to take you home with her, are you p to let her?"
"No!" They exclaimed all at once.
"Wow un, and I used to think I had a dysfunctional family."
For the first time since I had met him, Gaara laughed and he said, "you haven't seen anything yet."
this chapter was stupid, I know, but Im really not feeling well.
By the way I'm thinking of slipping into Tobi's point of view in a few chapters. Thoughts?