A/N: Dundunduuun! I'm finally back with a quite long chapter. It was a pain in the ass to write this and it turned out different than I actually planned but well, my muse ran wild after taking a writing break. But I hope the wait was worth it! Warnings for this chapter are probably some kind of child abuse and attempted rape! If you don't like it or can't read it, just skip the flashbacks~

Killian didn't even feel the pain that came from his hand, didn't see the blood falling on the cold castle ground. His eyes were fixed on the man in front of him while the darkness rose in him, but right now, he couldn't care less and let it come. His breathing was heavy, and he bit his bottom lip while clenching his hand into a fist. For a long moment, it was silent in the big, empty throne room, just the three of them, and he wouldn't deny that he wanted to draw his sword out to stab the man that had just ruined everything.

"You can't do this," he gritted out between his teeth, taking deep breaths to have control over himself, ignoring Emma's worried look at him completely. Right now it was just him and the king with no one between them. His hand twitched for a second, wanting to grab the handle of his sword while he had his eyes still fixed on the other man.

„I can, and I will. Just be ready." It was the amused smirk of the king's lips that made him snap, and he just turned around, leaving the room with fast steps, leaving Emma behind and not listening to her calling his name. He needed to get out before he did something he might regret.

His mind was dizzy and going darker with the thoughts he would love to live out while he didn't know where his feet where carrying him to, he just needed to get out, away. He didn't look up, eyes fixed on the ground and his own feet while the pain in his hand slowly came into his mind, and he hissed, stopping walking for a moment. He raised his hand and looked down at the blood, saw how he was shaking.

Only then he realized where he was, the fresh air, the flowers around him, the garden, the same place where he had seen his mother in his dream. He clenched his hand into a fist again, welcoming the pain when he heard his name again and turned around, this time not looking into his mother's but in Emma's, her green eyes full of worry looking at him.

"What happened? I mean, it's not much time, but I doubt that would anger you like…this," she said, keeping her distance from him, and he knew that she would probably be able to see the darkness in his eyes, the hatred he felt for the man he had loved so dearly long ago.

He clenched his hand harder, blood reddening the green grass under his feet, and he bit his bottom lip, trying to keep it together. That secret would burn him alive, but he couldn't tell her, couldn't bring her into danger. The castle had it's own eyes and ears. He would know at some point.

"I…I just can't marry you," he said, and he was disgusted that he even had to think about telling her these words. Seeing how her eyes changed from worry into shock didn't make it better. He knew that they had developed a thing in the last few days, maybe even weeks. He cared for her more than for anything else, and he was falling in love with her even without knowing what exactly that meant.

"What? I thought we-," she started but stopped when he turned his head to the side, avoiding looking at her because god that look in her eyes was breaking him. For a moment, he wanted to laugh at himself. He was so weak because of her. She made him like this, but she also made him stronger at the same time, made him a better man.

"Killian, what's the real reason?" she suddenly said with such a softness in her voice that he cringed. Now his lies didn't even work on her anymore? He chewed on his bottom lip for a long moment before he looked back at her, his nails digging into his wound at his hand and he took a step back from her, running his other hand over his face before he suddenly couldn't take the weight on his shoulders anymore.

"My mother died that day. Six days from today she burned alive because of him! He fucking killed her!" It was a mix of a growl and an angry scream that left his throat, and only when it was out did he realize what he had said. But instead of trying to take it back, he just sank down into the grass, burying both of his hands in his hair. Why did thinking about it hurt so much? It hadn't hurt like this before. He had to bite his bottom lip hard to avoid screaming. He could taste the blood, and he just wanted to stop it, but it didn't. It didn't stop. It hurt, and it was driving him insane. The feelings were too much. He wanted to be numb again.

But then he felt her hands on his cheeks and a shallow heartbeat in his chest, not sure if it was hers or his, but he looked up, eyes widened, and saw how she crouched down in front of him, holding his red cheeks, red from anger and pain and suddenly, it was gone. The feeling of him being torn apart from the inside was gone, and her green eyes were soft and glassy.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, his own pain suddenly forgotten when it was about her, a frown on his forehead.

"Because it hurts me to see you like this. Knowing I'm kind of the reason you got these feelings back," she said with a sob, and her thumbs stroked the scruff on his cheeks.

"Don't you dare apologize, love. You're the best thing that could happen to me." A small smile came up on his lips, and he took her hands in his, pulling her closer with a tug so he could place a kiss on her lips, feeling how he calmed down more and more.

When he pulled away, he used his thumb to dry one tear that was falling down her cheeks, trying to smile, but then he remembered what he had told her. He bit his bottom lip and was about to get up, but his legs were too weak so he sank back to the ground with a sigh.

"Is it true? That your father killed your mother? I mean, I know she died but are you sure it was him?" Her voice was so filled with worry that he just wanted to pull her into his arms while he still held her hand, neither of them caring about the blood that was on both of their skin now.

"He even told me."

"Prince Killian!"

The knock on his door got him out of his dream, and he groaned loudly, turning around in his bed when they knocked again. With a huff, he got out of bed and pulled some pants on even though he didn't want to talk. He had no desire to get up and talk to any of these bastards, but the guard didn't stop knocking.

He opened the door. It was in the middle of the night, that man better have a reason to disturb him or he would stab him in the throat with something sharp.

"Oh thank god you're awake. The King, he…he locked himself into his room and there are weird noises and…please, check on him, you might get inside."

Killian raised an unamused eyebrow and shrugged. "He probably found a whore." Then he was about to close the door, but the guard put his hand on the door, and the young prince shot him a death glare full of darkness so that he pulled back.

"Please?" the guard said, biting his bottom lip. Killian groaned and grabbed a shirt from the cupboard next to the door, there where he had 'lost' it last night.

"Fine, go ahead," he growled at the guard, and the older man walked a few steps back into the hallway, but while Killian put his shirt on he turned around to the bed again.

"Back in a few, don't worry," he said with a huff while looking at the girl in his bed who just nodded while hiding under the blanket. No one needed to know that she was warming his bed tonight. It would be a different one tomorrow.

A few minutes later, he was in front of the room that would lead to the King's chamber. He knocked but no one opened it, and he was already annoyed with the situation so he sent the guards away. The noise of something breaking came to his ears, and he groaned, knocking again.

"Open up!" he yelled against the wood and it was silent in the room. His foot was tapping against the stone under him in an annoyed and impatient gesture until the door was suddenly opened harshly in front of him only to see the red cheeks and nose of the older man, his breath smelling like alcohol.

"You're smelling like a whole tavern," Killian said, unimpressed, and moved inside of the room, ignoring the protest. He looked around, seeing several broken things in the chambers of the King that used to be so wonderful, but in the last years the behavior of the once so graceful king had gone weird, given the fact that he had lost a wife and son.

Today, he was just a drunk. A mad man, and this time Killian had no idea how worse it would get one day. Today, he was focused on the way the king snarled at him when the younger one leaned against the table with a raised eyebrow. At least he had let him inside, that's a good thing.

"Why are you here?" the King asked and tilted his head, trying to control his voice that was filled with anger.

"Well, the guards were worrying, and I had to stop my very enjoyable activities to come and check on you. For fucks sake, get a grip you lousy drunk," he said with a huff and crossed his arms over his chest before a little golden item caught his attention, and he walked over to the window sill where the crown was.

"Don't you dare to touch it!" He ignored the protest again and took it, placing it on his head and looking into the mirror with a cocky grin.

"Oh, but I like it and look how good it looks on me." He laughed darkly and turned around, but in the next second, he had a hand around his neck and his head slammed back in the mirror so hard that it broke.

He hissed in pain and gasped, looking at the eyes in front of him that were filled with so much anger that he wanted to laugh, but instead he wasn't able to control the darkness in his body, and before he knew it, he looked the same and it was like looking into a mirror, just not separated with glass, there was nothing between them.

"You don't deserve the crown!" The King's voice was shaking, and it was their first fight that ended in such a violence. He felt the throbbing pain at the back of his head but ignored it for now.

"Actually, I do. I'm your only heir, remember? Besides that, it was always mother's crown until you came along, the only one who doesn't deserve it is you." He literally spit those words out and felt the grip tighten around his neck but just growled as a reaction. Since the witch had taken his heart, his fear was mostly gone. He wasn't afraid of this man in front of him, wasn't afraid to die. He would push his buttons.

"Your mother was a whore, no queen. I saved this land!" The older man yelled at his face and Killian snapped, kicking him in the crotch with his knee so he would let go of his neck before he grabbed a piece of the broken mirror and held it to the throat of the man who was supposed to rule this land.

"Don't you dare call her a whore," he growled with nothing but darkness and hate in his voice, biting his own bottom lip hard. The way he held the shard around his hand was painful. It was digging into his palm, blood running down his hand.

"Or what? Are you going to kill me, boy? You know they would take this kingdom away from you, and you're way too obsessed with this life and the power you might get one day. So go ahead, kill me. You don't have the balls anyway."

Killian's grip tightened while he had the king backed up against a wall, the tip of the shard against the throat of the other man, and he just needed to move it forward, one movement and it would be over, but he couldn't. He knew the king was right, so he took his arm down and took a step back.

"You're pathetic," he snarled and dropped the shard, kicking it away and wanted to leave the room.

"Oh, yeah? Your mother was pathetic. That's the reason I killed her."

The prince froze, his hand at the door handle, holding it so tight his knuckles went white. That wasn't true. He did what? His eyes snapped back to the man who was now holding a sword, digging it into the side of Killian and he swallowed, not able to move.

"You what?" His voice was shaking with anger, and he had the urge to jump forward and kill this monster, but he had no desire to get killed in the process.

"Did she ever tell you she wanted to run away with you, maybe Liam too? Start a new life somewhere? I couldn't let that happen, you know. It would have been bad for my reputation, so the tragic fire happened." The king shrugged, digging the tip of the sword in his side more, and he hissed in pain, knowing the sharp metal had not only cut his light shirt but also the skin already.

And he was shaking so damn much. For a second, he was afraid he would break the door handle, the only thing that he was holding while his other hand clenched into a fist, drawing only more blood from the already wounded hand. He looked down on the ground, trying to gather a clear thought, but he heard laughter and that voice again, the voice he never wanted to hear again.

"And in case you want to tell anyone, I'll make your life a living hell," the King said, and Killian's eyes snapped back to him, but seconds later he felt pain against the back of his head and everything faded into black.

"So yeah, he basically knocked me out," Killian said as he finished his story, his gaze dropping down on the ground. He swallowed, not sure what she would think of him now, of knowing how he was before, but she just took her hands away from his to put them around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Killian." He smiled slightly against the crook of her neck and would love to know what she was thinking. About everything. Him, the king, the marriage. Just everything, but he was too afraid to ask, the feelings inside of him too overwhelming. The memories, the anger, the pain. It was too much, and he knew that without her, he would fall apart.

"I'm glad you're here." His voice was weak, and he just choked them out before taking a deep breath, breathing her in. Gods, he loved her.

"Let's get inside, alright? It'll be okay."

Emma needed the whole next day to process things and had asked Killian to leave her alone for a while. Of course he had done as she wished. It was just too much. The marriage would be there in a week, her parents might not make it in time as the invitations weren't out yet, the whole his father killed his mother thing was totally out of the things she could believe, and then there was the thing she was afraid of most: The consummation of the marriage. The sex was bad enough but with witnesses? It wouldn't get better for sure.

She was restless while walking up and down in their room, trying to gather a clear thought about the whole thing. The time they had until the marriage wasn't much for sure, and the servants would walk until their feet were bleeding and work until their hands would have blisters. There was no way to help them or anything, all she could do was just prepare for the marriage, doing all the stuff her parents had taught her before she had left the castle.

The fact that the King had murdered his own wife because she wanted to leave him was another thing. She still had more questions than answers, and it was hard to understand that the king she had met the first day, who had been even nicer than Killian, would be such a man but with recent behavior, it was actually no big surprise that he tried to hide his real face. The young prince had begged her last night to tell no one because he was afraid that she might get hurt, and she had made the promise to keep quiet. It was probably the smarter move. The King was a powerful man and would have her killed with the help of an assassin. He would probably even win the war against her family's army. So in fact, she had to forget everything that Killian had told her about this issue, she couldn't change a thing.

The consummation was the thing she could do something about, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to. She remembered the last time Killian had tried to take her. She had shivered and had started crying because the memories of her childhood flashed back into her mind, and she was so afraid of the pain that she just hadn't been able to control herself. She was so glad he had respected that and had gotten off in another way. But during their consummation, there was no way to get out of it. Their witnesses would watch carefully, and she had no desire to start crying there. She wasn't unhappy with Killian. She loved him and more every day, and it would make a really bad scene if she would get some kind of a panic attack while being under him, crying during the whole process. She hadn't told him about what had happened that made her like this, and she wasn't sure if she ever could.

She didn't want to make him feel bad or embarrass him during the consummation, so she had to do something about it. Telling him was no option she wanted to choose, she would rather just show him. Ask him to sleep with her with honest eyes and maybe he would agree? He had wanted it before, so maybe he would still want her. But she couldn't make this decision alone, way too nervous about it. For a moment she thought Ruby might be able to help her as her best friend, but Emma knew how she was, would always agree to sex so the blonde had chosen to call someone else to her chambers.

"Come on, Emma! Let me court you!"

The boy was jumping around her, and she couldn't even make her way back to the orphanage once without him on her heels. Sister Nova had asked her to get something from the market, and she had agreed on it, not knowing that the son of the blacksmith would see her and run after her like every single time.

"Ugh, go home, Walsh! I'm sure your father wants you to help him or something," she said, shifting the basket from her one hand into her other, trying to ignore the grin on the boy's lips.

"I'd rather help you," he said with a smirk and tried to grab the basket, but Emma just moved it away and hit his stomach with her elbow.

"Seriously, leave me alone. I need to get that thing back before it gets too dark." She swallowed and watched how the sun was almost completely behind the horizon already, she should have been back a while ago. She even took the more dangerous route that would lead her along the port, but she had to hurry. There was supposed to be a storm, and the streets of the town were never safe, especially not at night.

"Fine, whatever," Walsh said with a huff and ran his hand through his hair before he turned on his heels. Emma stopped walking for a moment and smirked, happy that she finally got rid of him but also knowing that he would be back the next time.

She laughed softly and turned around, only to bump into an older man who was looking down at her. For a moment, she just looked at him and swallowed. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, looking down at the ground like she always did when something like this happened and was about to hurry away from him when he gripped her arm and pulled her back so harshly that she let the basket fall down, the vegetables rolling down the port.

"Why in such a hurry, girl?" he snarled at her and tightened the grip around her arm, she knew she would have bruises if he didn't stop doing it.

"Let me go!" she hissed at him, but he put his hand over her mouth, looking around before dragging her into a dark corner. Anxiety rose in her, the fear of him was getting stronger, and she knew what he was planning to do, she just knew. She had heard stories from another girl in the orphanage that men liked to do…that.

She never understood why, they were just kids. Without a family, yes. Without parents, yes. Without a real home, yes. But still, this was disgusting. They were no whores, and he was fat and ugly and no. She tried to bite him in the hand, but he pressed her smaller body against the wall in the dark alley. She couldn't even scream, she could do nothing. For gods sake, she should have used Walsh to guide her back or anything, sending him off was stupid.

Emma mumbled curses against his hand, tried to do something but she couldn't. He was stronger than her and had this smirk on his lips that made her body shiver. His eyes were glassy and he smelled, was clearly drunk, but she wasn't even sure if he wouldn't try the same in a sober state.

"Shivering, hm? Sweet anticipation," he mumbled while lifting her skirt, and she tried to hurt him somehow, to slap him, to kick him, but there was nothing she could do. He held her so tight that she was afraid he might break her bones.

"Now keep quiet," he huffed and took both of her hands in his big one, holding it over her head while pressing her against the wall with his body, trying to open his pants with his free hand. She wanted to scream but couldn't, way too afraid that he would hurt her even more than the thing he wanted to do to her right now, so she just bit her bottom lip hard while tearing up. The girl from the orphanage had survived it, she could do the same. The only thing that escaped her was a whimper, and it apparently wasn't quiet enough so he slapped her so hard across the face that she couldn't even breath for a second.

She was shivering so hard, couldn't control her own body anymore, and she just let the tears go when she heard the rustle of clothes, turning her head to the side while she had her eyes closed. She didn't want to see him or anything else, she just wanted it to be over.

In the moment where she thought he would lay her down or something and just thrust inside of her, she heard a dull noise instead and then her hands were free. Without thinking she just shoved her skirt back down and looked around in panic, her eyes red from the tears. The man was laying on the ground, still breathing but without consciousness. She didn't dare to look around more and her instinct told her to run, so she ran, but she didn't even make it far out of the alley.

"Hey, calm down, lass." The voice was deeper than the one of the man who was laying in the alley, hopefully bleeding to death because that's what she wished him right now. Her tears were still falling from her face, feeling how another hand was around her arm and she just wanted to go. Gods why couldn't they let her go, she was just a girl.

Only after a few seconds she noticed that the grip around her arm was much softer, not pulling her around like cattle, softly holding her where she was and that was when she opened her eyes carefully to look at the man who was towering above her but sank down to crouch in the next second.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and his eyes were worried while they lay on her cheek that was red as hell, and it was burning, and she just wanted to stop shivering and wanted to go back to the orphanage, so she just nodded, knowing it was a lie because how was she supposed to be okay after almost being raped, maybe even killed?

The man just laughed and let go of her arm, taking his hand back but not moving. She didn't do the same, and her eyes fell on some men walking in the alley where the other one was still on the ground, and she frowned.

"Did you punch him?" she asked, her voice still shaking, and she hated herself for being so weak. She needed to be strong in this world when she wanted to survive for gods sake!

"Yeah. It's not nice to treat a lady like that, no matter what age." She smiled slightly at his words, trying to get a better look at him in the darkness. He seemed to be young, but his voice was rough, his hair was dark, and his eyes were blue. She had never seen him before, probably a sailor with his men.

"What do you want from me?" she asked then, not trusting to be safe right now, but he just laughed and ruffled her hair. He put two of his fingers into his mouth and whistled, only seconds later another man came to him, giving him the basket full of vegetables back.

Emma's eyes widened when he gave her the things back she thought were lost, and she smiled. "I just wanted to help. Being a gentleman is really important and he? He wasn't one." He lifted his hand and she shied away for a second, but then he just moved a cloth over her dirty face, trying to clean it without hurting her wounded cheek.

"What's your name, young lady?" he asked her, still crouching in front of her while she was holding the basket with both hands, biting her bottom lip and unsure if she should tell him. She didn't even know him, but he also saved her.

"I'm no lady, but the name's Emma," she said in a whisper and looked around, almost afraid like someone else could hear her name but she sighed happily when no one else was close around them.

"Well then, Emma. Do you need anything? Should I bring you home?" he asked and got up into a standing position again, tilting his head like a dog while smiling at her, but she shook her head.

"I have no home, I'm an orphan. But no, I'm fine, it's not that far anymore. Thank you, sir." She smiled shyly up at him, the adrenaline in her body the only thing that kept her together. She knew she would freak out and cry as soon as she realized what had just happened, but the shock was too big for now.

He looked at her with worried eyes before he laughed softly. "I'm no sir, but I hope you get back safe." Then he turned around but Emma stopped, a curious glint in her eyes.

"If you're no sir, then what's your name?" She didn't know why she was suddenly so curious, but that man had just saved her life, together with his friends who were still in that alley, and she really hoped they would tear that guy there apart because he didn't deserve anything else.

"Davy. Davy Jones, and in a few years, everyone will talk about me," he answered and winked at her with a mysterious grin on his face before walking into the opposite direction, leaving her behind with a confused look on her face.

The memories of the incident back then were fresh and painful but the faces of the people that day were long lost. There was a knock at the door, and Emma stopped walking, smiling softly. "Come in," she said and waited for the other blonde to come inside. Tink smiled at her and came inside, bowing briefly, and Emma rolled her eyes before she pulled her friend into a hug.

"What can I do for you, Emma?" she asked and both of them walked over to sit down at the table so they could look at each other.

"First of all, could you stop talking like you're my servant? You're my friend, Tink." She smiled at her and got a nod back as an answer. Emma took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to explain herself. She had decided that Tinkerbell would be the better person to talk to when it was about Killian, and she needed to get an opinion on the whole thing.

"It's about the marriage and Killian," she pressed out between her lips and bit her bottom lip in a nervous way.

Tink just tilted her head to the side and reached over the table, taking one of Emma's hands in her hand. The other girl was always so loving and caring so that she could only feel safe around her. "What is it that's bothering you? I know it's a short period of time, but I'm sure he will be fine with it."

Emma shook her head and squeezed the hand of the other girl slightly. "It's not about that. Not exactly. It's about me and him. About…the consummation of the marriage." She could see in the eyes of the other that she started to understand. Tink smiled at her and bit her bottom lip for a moment, not sure what to say so Emma just started talking again.

"I had…stuff happening to me in the past. I'm actually really afraid to…you know, lose my maidenhood. But I really don't want to embarrass him when the witnesses watch us, do you know what I mean? I'm afraid I might overreact and cry or something, and I don't want him to think it's him." She gritted her teeth and looked down at their hands for a moment, her free hand going through her hair, nervously trying to fix it even if it wasn't messy at all.

"Did you talk with him about that?" Tink asked and Emma shook her head. Of course she hadn't. The last time when she burst into tears when he was about to take her was worse enough. There was a difference between her pleasuring him with her mouth or him getting on her in these ways than the actual act. She had no trouble with heavy kissing sessions, his hands running over her body. It made her feel good, but as soon as his cock was about to slip inside, she started to freak out.

"I just feel so bad about the whole thing. I want to ask him if we might…you know, sleep together before the marriage. I know that's not the point of the whole thing, but I want to be a strong queen, not one who cried during the consummation. I just don't know if he would understand." She saw how a frown was on Tink's face and her friend must probably think that she was stupid. Emma was about to pull her hand away, but Tink kept holding it in a calming way, and she looked up at the other blonde while chewing on her bottom lip.

"A few weeks ago I would have said he wouldn't understand but now? He is so in love with you, Emma. I bet he would do everything you want." The princess felt how her cheeks grew hot. Knowing that Tink knew how much Killian loved her made her blush heavily, they haven't really showed people that they were in love yet. Ruby only caught them kissing once but they haven't said what they felt for each other then, so it was different now.

„What makes you so sure about that?" It wasn't that she doubted that he loved her, but she was curious why Tink would say it in that way.

The other blonde just chuckled slightly and smiled. "Well, probably because he came into my room a few nights ago, falling on my bed like a little boy with that stupid grin on his face only to tell me how beautiful and perfect you are. When I asked him if that was all he wanted to tell me he got up with a blush, said he actually just wanted his book back. So yes, he totally loves you."

She blushed even more after that little story but couldn't stop herself from smiling. Sometimes she also got the urge to just tell people how much he meant to her, but telling that to a random servant seemed a little weird, so she had kept it to herself and just told Killian in faint whispers while they were falling asleep, his strong arms around her.

"Thank you," Emma said with a smile on her face and got up from her chair, pulling Tink up with her and into another, this time tighter, hug. "You really helped me."

Tink smiled when they pulled apart and winked. "So no matter what you do, he will understand. If you need me, you know where to find me." With that the other girl was out of the room, and Emma took a deep breath. She had to do it, sooner than later. The sooner she got it over with, the better it would be during the consummation. He just needed to come back from his hunting trip with Victor.

While she waited for him, she tried to keep her mind off the whole thing. Reading a book, looking out of the window, eating a little, looking through her dresses until he finally opened the door carefully. It was late, and he probably thought she was already asleep or something because he literally snuck in, and she couldn't stop herself from laughing. He froze when he saw her, and she raised an eyebrow at the way he smiled.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked her in a whisper before he cleared his throat and closed the door behind him.

"Why are you sneaking around?" she asked in return, and he rolled his eyes while putting the crossbow back into his chest of weapons.

"I'm not sneaking, I simply didn't want to wake you up." He shrugged before he walked over to her and took her face in his hands, kissing her softly.

"Well, I'm certainly not sleeping." She chuckled and ran her hand up and down his chest, feeling how he was sweating a little. He seemed to notice too in the way his shirt clung to his skin, and he pulled away, removing his shirt and throwing it into a corner.

"You should be. The next days will be exhausting." Emma bit her bottom lip at his comments and shifted from one foot to the other while he put on another shirt. Completely useless actually because she still planned on removing it from his shoulders anyway.

"Yeah, about that…we need to talk." A sentence no man liked to hear ever, and she knew it. That's why she wasn't surprised when he looked utterly confused at her, his forehead in a frown, and she couldn't help herself but giggle a little at his face.

The princess took a deep breath and walked over to him where he was standing in front of the wardrobe. She buried one hand in his shirt, tugging on it slightly, playing with it while she avoided his gaze.

"Emma, what-" He couldn't even manage to finish his sentence before her lips were on his, and he sighed softly, opening his mouth as soon as her tongue drew along his bottom lip, giving her the access she wanted. Her hand fisted in his shirt and pulled him even closer in a way that made him gasp before she pulled away.

"Sleep with me. Tonight."

She knew she just took a leap of faith, just jumping right into it, but why wait and why explain things she didn't even want to think about. Maybe he would ask, but she would try to distract him so that he would forget his questions at least until tomorrow. It was okay. It was him and no one else. Someone who loved her with all he had, even without a heart,and it would be okay. It was him.

For a long moment, he just looked at her, hands on her waist without that he said something. She was actually kind of afraid he would deny her the night she wanted, a night of love and gentle pleasure so she bit her bottom lip for a moment, looking for something in his eyes that would tell her anything.

"Emma, I…Where is this request coming from? I mean, not that I'm complaining but the last time…you know," he said and tilted his head, worry in his eyes, and she sighed, dropping her forehead against his shoulder while her hand was still fisted in his shirt, her other one already under his shirt, feeling his warm skin.

"Exactly because of the last time. I wasn't ready, I couldn't do it, and I don't want to cry during the consummation. I'm afraid it might happen again, and I don't want to embarrass you or anything, so please, sleep with me?" It sounded so pathetic to literally beg him to take her before the marriage, but she was so afraid and already embarrassed that she wouldn't be able to stand the thought that it might happen during the consummation any longer.

"You can never embarrass me, love. I don't care about what they think, but if it's bothering you so much, it will be an honor for me to take you tonight." His voice was so soft and gentle, so different from the last time they had been intimate, and she took her head from his shoulder and smiled at him, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

He smiled back at her and she grabbed his hand, walking backward in the direction of the bed, pulling him with her until her legs hit the back of the bed and she sank down, crawling up until she was comfortable and he was following her with a wolfish grin and already dark eyes, and this time, it wasn't scary anymore, it was exactly what she wanted.

Her hand moved to his necklace, and she pulled slightly on it until his lips were on hers, and she sighed softly, feeling how he settled between her spread legs, one of his hands running up her thigh, lifting the dress in the process.

"Make me yours, Killian."

A/N: Am I mean for letting it end there? Hey, you can totally believe me when I say that the suspense is killing me too *laughs* It's also kind of my job to keep you on edge and I'm quite sure you all wanna read them having their first time together (Or maybe they'll get interrupted? You never know)~ Did you like the flashbacks? Would you like more especially from Emma's past? (I mean, I totally have planned some, I just want opinions here haha). Curious how Davy comes into the play?~ Hope you liked it!