oOo
Tegan groaned herself awake. She was sore down there, and half-wished they'd finished with the warm bath rather than start with it, but it was her own fault and she'd just have to live with the consequences. She smiled, eyes still closed, as she felt the Doctor's lips on her cheek. "Good morning, is it?" she asked.
"Near enough as matters. I thought you might like a shower before John wakes up. And this." He pressed a small tube into her hand; she opened her eyes to squint at it. The Doctor's room brightening up had been what woke her up in the first place, and it was set at just a little too bright for her taste. Especially before a strong cup of something caffeinated. "What's this?"
"Ointment. For, well, you know." Was he blushing, the man who had been so intimately involved in her "you know" all last night? Tegan grinned and thanked him by leaning forward to kiss him on the tip of his nose. "In case you needed it, I thought I'd dig it up for you."
"Did you sleep at all, or just spend the parts of the night not otherwise occupied wandering round picking things up for me?" Tegan waved her hand at the baby monitor. "I take it John's still sleeping?"
"Soundly; I checked in on him personally on my way back from the sickbay," he replied. "And yes, for your information, I did actually sleep a bit. You're quite comfortable to cuddle up next to."
Cuddle. The Doctor had actually used the word "cuddle."
"You'd better stop looking at me that way, or sore or not I'll be all over you instead of doing my motherly duty and getting dressed and cleaned before my son wakes up," Tegan warned, only half-jokingly. She sighed. "I suppose this is it, end of the idyllic moment, time to face reality."
"I'm afraid so." He stroked her arm tenderly, and she fought down the desire to pull him closer. "Is it still no regrets, or has the morning light changed anything?"
"Oh, it's changed everything, you know that. I could pretend last night that it would last forever, but the minute I opened my eyes I knew exactly where we stood," Tegan replied. "But no, regrets are forever banned. I'll miss you terribly, you know that, don't you?" To hell with good intentions; she pulled him into her arms, where he nestled willingly. "But you can't keep popping in and out of my life or I'll expect more of this from you. This has to be good-bye. For real this time."
"I know." His voice was sad, and Tegan felt tears threatening. She wrestled them down sternly; no break-downs until later. Much later. When the reality of "good bye for real" truly hit her. They remained snuggled together for a few more minutes, then Tegan forced herself to ease herself out of his embrace.
"Shower time," she said, throwing off the covers and leaning down to pick up her robe. She pulled it on, taking her time, feeling his appreciative gaze on her and enjoying it as she tied the belt and reached for the monitor. "I'll just keep this for now." She leaned down for one last kiss, trying to make it last, knowing that it couldn't. He kissed her just as fervently, half-pulling her down on top of him, then slowly releasing her arms when the need to breathe outweighed the need to be together.
"We still have the formal good-byes to make," he reminded her as she headed for the door. She nodded without turning around, and then she was gone, the first woman to share his bed in a very long time.
oOo
Tegan hummed cheerfully as the warm water washed over her from multiple wall-mounted spouts. It was positively sinful, the TARDIS shower she'd been given, and she was as reluctant to give it up as she was everything else about the last day and night. But give it up she would; she had a son, and it was bad enough to raise him on a space station centuries in the future and millions of miles away from Earth, let alone even entertain the possibility of staying on the TARDIS. But oh, how she longed to do just that, chuck it all again and live that vagabond life. "What an education you'd receive, John," she murmured, then shook her head. "And what violence you'd see, no matter how much the Doctor and I tried to keep it away from you."
She pressed the panel that shut the water off, then stood and waited for the warm air to start blowing. It was sweet, how the Doctor had such old-fashioned things as towels in his private bath, but state-of-the art (somewhere, she was sure) fixtures everywhere else. She fluffed out her hair, vowing to get it cut as soon as they were back on Terminus, then tried the ointment the Doctor had given her. It worked so quickly she wondered if there was an element of pixie-dust in it, then dressed and finished up with teeth and make-up (wonderful, wonderful Nyssa to have packed a make-up kit for her with the clothes) before tip-toeing back into the nursery to look at John.
He was standing in his crib, clutching the top rail and looking around curiously. When he saw her, he broke into a semi-toothless smile and held out his arms to be picked up, babbling something she couldn't understand but that nevertheless filled her heart with joy. "That's my boy, come to mummy," she said as she crossed the room and lifted him out. He kicked his feet and squealed happily as she snuggled him closer, then carried him to the changing table. She didn't recognize any of the clothes that had been provided, but nothing of his would fit him anyway, and everything was adorable. He accepted the change of clothes as contentedly as he'd accepted the pajamas the night before; apparently his good nature hadn't been affected by his time away from her. She could have wept with happiness, but didn't want to frighten him and so kept it bottled up as best she could.
"How does breakfast sound, John?" He gurgled and smacked his lips, for all the world as if he understood her. She tickled his tummy, eliciting a laugh, then picked him up again and carried him to the kitchen.
Once he was fed and cleaned, she headed for the Console Room. "Facing reality time," she muttered to herself. "Brave heart. Damn the torpedoes." She kept to a deliberate pace, talking to John and laughing at his squirmy desire to move under his own steam; she even let him crawl a bit, but he kept heading down side corridors and it was too tempting to let him help her get lost in the TARDIS. So she picked him back up and forced herself to stay on track.
The Doctor was there, exactly where she'd expected him to be, impeccably dressed back in his cricketeer's outfit, minus the coat which was carefully hung up in a corner, along with his hat. His hair was combed and tidy, as was hers; to look at them, no one could tell they'd spent such a wonderful, acrobatic, night together. "Good morning." She shifted John to her other hip, then gave up and plopped him down on the floor. He immediately headed for the column holding up the console, pulling himself up to stand on wobbly legs and stare at the underside of the mushroom-shaped top, babbling happily to himself.
"Good morning." They stared at each other across the console for a long moment, then the Doctor moved around it to take her in his arms. "Realty can wait a bit longer," he murmured before drawing her close enough for a kiss.
Tegan closed her eyes as their lips met, running her hands across his shoulders and up his neck to rest beneath his hair, pulling him closer with a desperation she had never felt before. The need to feel him against her, to know that he wanted it that way, was overpowering.
"Oh, my." They pulled apart at the sound of that apologetic voice, turning as one to see who it was, their arms still around each other; even the embarrassment of being "caught" couldn't force Tegan to break that hold. Nyssa and Tyrel stood in the doorway, looking flustered. "I'm sorry, we're interrupting," Nyssa continued in a small voice. "We'll just..." she gestured vaguely toward the interior door, then bolted for it, dragging a grinning Tyrel along with her, her face as red as a brick.
Tegan collapsed into giggles in the Doctor's arms, allowing him to half-support her as she leaned her head against his chest. He joined in the laughter, chuckling ruefully at himself and the absurdity of the situation. "Well, if Nyssa had any suspicions about us before, we've just confirmed them," he said after the laughter finally died down. John had moved from under the console to pull himself up by the Doctor's trouser leg, and he peered down at the youngster. "Wanting to join the fun, are you?" He released Tegan to reach down and lift John up into his arms. "I'm the Doctor, and I'm very pleased to meet you."
Those damn tears again, threatening to overflow just when she'd vowed not to let them. Tegan watched her son and the man she loved, wishing with all her heart and soul that there was a way for the three of them to be together. Wishing, and knowing it wasn't to be. But she would treasure this moment almost more than the night they'd spent together; watching the Doctor tickle John's neck and make silly faces until the baby laughed so hard she suspected she'd have to change his diaper again soon. He seemed so comfortable, and she realized she'd never really seen the Doctor around children. Especially babies. "What a good father you'd make," she said wistfully, then bit her lip in chagrin at having expressed the thought aloud.
"I've been a father once before," he reminded her. "I know I missed out on raising Kyris, but my first self didn't do half bad with Susan."
"No, she seems to have turned out all right," Tegan agreed. Then, determinedly changing the subject: "So, what's next? Right to the village and the ceremony, or do we wait for Peri to drag herself back?"
"Peri's already been dragged back." This time the unexpected voice came from the TARDIS' interior door, which Nyssa had left open in her rush to leave the Console Room. Stretching and yawning, the Doctor's young companion strolled into the room. "Morning. What a party! Some of that stuff they brew is pretty potent, but my head doesn't hurt at all this morning." She took John's hand in hers, laughingly pulling her head away when he reached for her hair. "I saw Nyssa and Tyrel a minute ago, but they didn't seem in the mood to talk." She smirked. "I guess they had a good time last night too. What did you two get up to besides babysitting? Anything interesting?" she asked as if she didn't expect to hear an affirmative.
"No, nothing worth sharing," the Doctor said with a straight face. Tegan hoped the dark circles under her eyes had been successfully covered up, but knew she could always blame John for any signs of sleeplessness on her part. "Get dressed and fed; as soon as we're ready we'll head for the village for our formal leave-taking." He glanced at Tegan. "Then it's back to Terminus."
She managed to summon up a smile. "Super. I guess I'll get our things packed up; you know where to find us." She took John from the Doctor's arms and headed back to the nursery. Reality had been faced, and all she could say was that it really, really sucked.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
A/N: Yes, I know. "Sucked" is way too American a phrase. But I decided to let it stand as it pretty much summed up her feelings at this point. If anyone knows a more appropriate Britishism, I will gladly change it out (sneaky way of asking for reviews, eh?).