Chapter 21: Past the Point of No Return

Annie couldn't sleep. How could any Tribute sleep? Her life was close to its end and she didn't quite see the point in sleeping through whatever precious moments she had left. She also didn't see the point of spending hours staring at the unfamiliar ceiling in her "room," contemplating everything in her life that she will never get to do. Her thoughts were driving her completely insane.

A crazy thought flooded Annie's brain and before she dismissed it, she was already up from her bed and out of her room. She quietly made her way down the hallway to the room where Finnick was staying. It had been a while since he left her, so she hoped that he was back in his room. In order to avoid unnecessary sound, she opened the door instead of knocking.

Finnick was pacing nervously when Annie entered the room. He looked up at her, his face sweaty and his hair disheveled.

"Annie, what are you doing here? You should be sleeping."

She slowly shut the door behind her and looked at him meekly, suddenly feeling silly about her reason for coming to his room. "I couldn't sleep."

He offered a weak smile. "Me either."

Annie walked towards him. "Why are you pacing?"

He wiped some of the sweat from his forehead. "Oh, no reason."

Annie knew he was lying. "You know," she said, "its okay to be nervous about tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know. I am a little."

Annie raised her eyebrow and looked at him suspiciously.

"Okay," he admitted, "I'm very nervous. Who wouldn't be, though? It's the Hunger Games."

Annie closed the distance between them. She reached up to caress his face. He placed his hand over her hand and closed his eyes.

"Why are you trying to hide how nervous you are from me?" she wondered.

He shrugged. "I wanted to be strong for you. I thought that if I didn't seem fazed by the Games, then you wouldn't be fazed. I guess I was wrong."

"Finnick, you can't control this. I know you want to, but you just can't."

"But it's my fault that you're in this situation."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes—"

"No," she cut him off and took her hand from his face, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. This could be my last night on Earth and I don't want to spend it listening to you wallow in self-pity."

His face changed drastically. He almost looked angry. "Well, I don't want to hear you talk about dying or anything like that anymore."

Annie was going to argue, but she also didn't want to spend what could be her last night fighting with Finnick. She wanted to go into that arena with them on good terms.

"Okay," she agreed. "What do you want to do then?"

He raised his eyebrows. "You're the one who came to my room. What do you want to do?" After a moment he added, "Why did you come here?"

"I didn't want to be alone." She admitted, blushing again at her initial reason for coming to his room.

"And?" he prodded, sensing her hesitation.

"And…I was planning on seducing you…"

His whole demeanor suddenly changed, and Annie could swear that his cheeks started getting red as well. There was an awkward silence.

"What changed your mind?" Finnick asked.

Annie looked at the floor. "I lost my nerve, I guess." She could hear him walking towards her.

"Why did you want to seduce me?"

"Because…I thought about what I wanted to do with my last night before…well before things changed." She went over and sat down on the bed. He sat down next to her.

"Annie you can't keep thinking that you're going to die in that arena. That sort of thinking won't help you. You have to imagine yourself winning." Finnick's tone wasn't angry.

"Yeah, I know. But it's not like it matters if I win or die. Something will change." Annie could sense that Finnick wanted her to look at him, but she just couldn't. "What if something changes between us after?"

He rubbed her back in a soothing manner. "Nothing is going to change between us."

She lifted her head so their eyes met. "Do you promise?"

He smiled. "I promise."

They embraced for a moment before Finnick suddenly broke away.

"What's wrong?" Annie asked.

"I have a crazy idea." He said.

"What?"

Finnick bent down on one knee in front of Annie, who was still sitting on the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Annie, will you marry me?" He asked, his voice shaking slightly.

Annie was completely taken off guard. She couldn't speak for a few moments.

"What do you say, Annie?" He grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"We can't." She finally managed to say, pulling her hand from his grasp and standing up.

"Well, not officially, but we could at least have our own little unofficial ceremony tonight in this room."

Annie looked at him for a moment and realized he was serious. She went through all of the reasons why they shouldn't do this in her head. However, none of them really made sense since they couldn't actually get officially married without the proper ceremony and documents. Ultimately she concluded that they really had nothing to lose with this ceremony. Well, she had nothing to lose. Finnick would have to deal with the loss of his "wife" when she died in the arena. But if this was how he wanted to remember her then she couldn't deny him that.

"Okay," she finally said, "I'll marry you."

Finnick jumped up. "Yes! But this only serves as a stand in until we can have a real ceremony after The Games, okay?"

Annie gave her best smile and nodded her head, despite the fact she was positive she wouldn't be alive for that ceremony.

"Great! Okay, take my hands."

Annie followed his instructions. She repeated everything he said and uttered the fateful words "I do" when it was time. Finnick followed suit. After he said, "I do," he leaned down and kissed her softly.

When they broke apart, he looked down at her in a way that made her heart sink. How could she miss him so much already when he was standing right in front of her? She never wanted to leave his side, but she knew that in less than 12 hours, their separation would be inevitable. That meant that she needed to make the most of the time that she had left with him. Although, Annie was slightly terrified of what she was about to do, she had never wanted to do anything more.

"What do you want to do now?" He asked.

Annie fell back on the bed and smiled at Finnick mischievously.

"What?" Finnick questioned.

Annie propped herself up on her elbows and raised one of her eyebrows. "I thought we were married, Mr. Odair."

"Yes…"

"Well, I think it's time we finished what I started by coming in here."

Finnick began to laugh nervously and fidget with the pockets of his pants. "Aw, come on, Annie. We don't have to."

"You don't want to?"

"Well, of course I want to, but I…" He trailed off and continued to fidget.

There was a pregnant silence in the room as Finnick took in the scene in front of him. It was everything he wanted, but there was still a hesitation in him that arose from his own insecurities. He had only ever been with someone as a type of business transaction. He had never slept with someone that he wanted to sleep with. But now he had his chance and he was feeling hesitant. Why was he hesitating? This is what Annie wanted. He needed to give her what she wanted.

Finnick moved toward her slowly, not breaking eye contact with Annie. He leaned down onto the bed and crawled on his hands and knees until he was hovering over her.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked.

She nodded her head before reaching up and pulling him down on top of her. Together they slipped off…past the point of no return.

When Annie woke up the next morning, Finnick was gone. He had left a note on the bedside table explaining that he had to go do some last minute errands but he would meet her before she went into the arena. The arena. It was the day of the 70th Hunger Games. It was the day that would undoubtedly change Annie's life forever. She should be freaking out, but surprisingly enough, she felt calm. The night before had changed something in her. She was at peace. At that moment, she accepted her fate. She was okay.

Annie got out of bed and grabbed her clothes. As she finished dressing, Mags came into the room. She smiled at Annie and indicated that Annie should follow her. Annie obeyed. When she stepped out of the door, however, she was bombarded by the team of stylists, who were as frantic as usual. They pulled her out of her happy state and pushed her back to the reality of her situation. She wasn't at peace. She had just forgotten. She had temporarily lied to herself and the safety of Finnick's room had kept up the illusion. Everything inside of her hardened and she pushed all of the memories of the night before to the back of her mind and prepared herself for what needed to happen next

The next events happened completely out of Annie's control. She wasn't even sure she actually moved her legs at all. People just seemed to move her to where she was meant to go next. Before she could really even think about her final destination, she was dressed and waiting in an empty room aboard a hovercraft. She sat on a long bench with her head resting on her hands. Her mind was blank. She wasn't thinking about her fate. She wasn't thinking about her loved ones. She wasn't thinking. She was hollow. She didn't even bother looking up when someone opened the door.

"Annie." It was Finnick. He said only her name, but there was so much more behind those words. There was sadness, anger, and regret.

Annie stood up and slowly walked over to him, knowing exactly what she needed to do and say. "I was wondering when you'd come."

Every part of him needed her. He needed her to tell him that it was going to be okay. That she was going to win. Last night had been everything he wanted, but he wondered if it was making today even harder.

"We don't have much time," he managed to say.

"I know."

"You need to listen to me…partner with Benji."

Annie was about to protest, but Finnick interrupted before she could. "Annie PLEASE! You will die in there without him! He will keep you safe from the Careers, I promise. Then, once you win we can really get married and live out the rest of our lives happily in District 4."

She shook her head. "That's the thing, Finnick, you think I'm walking out of that arena. I'm not."

He grabbed her by her forearm, harder than he meant. "I told you not to say that."

She looked at him, nothing behind her eyes. "I'm not coming out of that arena, Finnick. I'm going to die and there is nothing you can do about that. So, don't keep up this false dream. Remember the me from last night and not the me that is going to die in that arena." She placed her hands on either side of his face and looked deep into his beautiful eyes. "Can you do that for me, please." Her voice broke at the end, but she tried to cover it with a cough. She could not show him any weakness. He needed to be shown the reality of the situation. He needed the rude awakening that she had had earlier that day.

Finnick backed away from her. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I love you…so much, and I don't want you to hold on to this…I don't want you to hold on to me…anymore."

There was a knock on the door, alerting Finnick that he needed to leave.

"Annie…"

She was on the point of breaking down. She wanted more than anything to run into his arms and kiss him until a Peacekeeper came in and pulled them apart. But she didn't. She jutted out her chin and firmly said the hardest sentence she had ever said before. "Just go…please."

The knocking came again, more violently.

"I'm not giving up on you…on us." Finnick stated, coming toward her. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something. It was a small hand woven bracelet that was a shade of blue that reminded Annie of home. He grabbed her wrist and put it on her. "Mags made it for you. It's your token."

Finnick let go of her wrist, his fingers lingering on her hand. He tried to interlock fingers, but Annie quickly pulled her hand away. Finnick smiled at her despite the situation. "See you later, Mrs. Odair," he said, before disappearing behind the door.

Once Finnick was gone, Annie cried. She cried harder than she had ever cried before. She cried for herself, she cried for her family, she cried for the families of the other Tributes, she cried for Finnick, and most of all, she cried for everyone who had their lives destroyed by The Capitol.

By the time the hovercraft reached its final destination, Annie had finished crying and made her face look like she hadn't been upset. She smoothed her outfit, which was a simple cloth top coupled with skin tight pants, and put on her "tribute face."

A stern Peacekeeper walked Annie to the contraption that would take her to the arena. After she was in place, he stood guard to make sure that she stayed where she was supposed to be. Where would she try to go? Any escape attempt would result in her death. Maybe that would be a better death than the arena would provide, Annie thought. Before she could elaborate on the idea of escaping further, the machine holding her started to move upward. She touched the bracelet on her wrist, as if it would somehow calm her nerves.

The bright sunlight stung her eyes as she was lifted into the arena. Once her eyes adjusted, though, she was overwhelmed by the sight of a giant dam. It was taller than most of the buildings in The Capitol. The dam fed into a small body of water that appeared to flow into a thick patch of woods. As Annie took in her surroundings, she became hyper aware of the clock that was counting down. When it reached zero, she would have to decide where she would run. Would she run to the cornucopia to get supplies? Would she run into the woods for cover? She didn't know, but her time was running out.

As she looked at the faces of her fellow Tributes, she realized something. They all looked scared. Even the Careers had a sense of fear about them. In the arena, everyone was the same. Annie suddenly realized that it wasn't all about training and skill. Sometimes it was about someone's will to survive. That is what Finnick had been trying to explain to her all along. She had to want to survive. And Annie did. She did want to survive. All at once, everything became clear to her. She had to fight…no matter what. Annie got into a semi-crouched position, so she could spring off of her pedestal when the time came. She zeroed in on her target and waited for the clock to hit zero. When it did, she pushed off hard and began running as fast as she could…toward Benji.