Chapter Twenty One
Eddie
There are good days, and there are bad days.
There are days that you feel that nothing can go wrong and days when nothing seems to go right.
Days that feel like they will never end and ones that you wish would last a little longer.
Today, today is one of the bad days.
The moment Rose and Ry climbed out of the car, something gripped my heart, squeezing it so damn tight I don't know how it managed to continue beating. And driving away, leaving them there to do what they needed, stole every stitch of air from my lungs.
Call it a restoration side-effect, or a deep emotional connection, whatever it is, it left me in a fit of panic. Poor Sydney was beside herself trying to calm me down, and I tried my best to relax for her benefit, but it was hard. I couldn't help the bouncing of my leg or the constant tap-tap-tap of my fingers against the dash.
Sitting here now, the steady beat of the heart rate monitor playing in the background, I realize how right I was to fear the worst. Not only did I have to beat my sister free of compulsion, but I almost lost my reason to keep going.
The woosh of the sliding door opening drew my attention, my eyes connecting with soulful brown depths. "Hey," I said meekly, "how are you feeling?"
Once the adrenaline of the fight and Mikey showing up wore off, we noticed Rose was a bit worse for the wear. Not only had the gravel done a number on her hands and arms, but the flip from Dimitri left a nasty knot on the back of her head.
Dimitri rushed her here, and thankfully, arrived at the same time Ryder was being offloaded from the ambulance, unconscious but stable. I felt much better once we knew where he was, but until I see his sea blue eyes, I am still struggling to breathe right.
Waving a hand, Rose shakes off my concern, "I'll be fine. How is he," she nods toward Ry, who was still fast asleep under the sedation medication.
"No change," I sigh deeply, turning my gaze back to his face.
Thick white gauze covers his head, hiding the three-inch gash along his right temple where a piece of the rafter hit him, and black soot streaks along his handsome face.
"You really care about him," she whispers, pulling my attention back to her. Leaning her shoulder against the door frame, her arms crossed over her chest, she fixes me with a knowing stare, "don't you," she tries to raise a brow, failing as always.
"Yeah," the corner of my mouth twitches, and when I look back down to him, a full watery smile takes up residence on my face. Sniffling, I nod, and repeat, "yeah, I do."
I'm not sure which part of that confession is tearing my heart apart more. Simply admitting to Rose that I have fallen in love with my best friend, or admitting that I have finally let go of Mason.
I didn't plan on it, that's for sure, after going through what I did, I never felt worthy of feeling any type of emotion other than guilt.
Guilt for Rose's dropping out to find me.
Guilt for Lissa having to use so much Spirit to save me.
Guilt for Dimitri having to deal with my clinging to Rose and Adrian.
Guilt for Ryder having to go down memory lane over and over again to help me.
But most of all, guilt for the families I ruined by stealing their child, brother, sister, mother or father, away from them.
Guilt.
It's one hell of a fucked up emotion. It capitalizes on my dreams, memories, intensifying the pressure in my chest, leaving me breathless in the middle of the night far more times than anyone, bar Ryder, knows about.
Pushing off the door, she walks toward me, holding her arms open for me. Lifting one of mine, I let her wrap around me, pulling her closer with my arm around her shoulders, never letting go of Ryder's hand.
"He will be okay, Eddie, he's strong," she reassures me.
"I know," I agree, "but I am still kicking his ass when he comes too for scaring me," I add with a chuckle.
"Can I watch," she laughs.
"I'll sell tickets," I join her, squeezing her tighter to my side.
I don't know what I did to deserve these two people, my sister, and my best friend, but I thank whatever God is out there watching over me. Rose has gone above and beyond to help me, save me, from damnation. And Ryder, he has become my everything.
From the first night he climbed into my bed, holding me as I cried without being asked, he began prying open the locks secured around my heart, breaking down every single wall I had built, even the ones from before I turned.
When Mason was killed, I thought nothing in the world could ever hurt this much. There was absolutely no pain worse than what I was feeling at that moment. And I never wanted to feel it again. Barrier after barrier was put in place to seal the all too forgiving organ from further damage.
And then I was taken.
During those few months, I felt no emotion, no sense of right or wrong. Those barriers no longer mattered, because my focus was centered on my next meal. When I was restored, by some miracle, those barriers were re-enforced, holding strong even though my mind was going to shit. I built walls there too after that, but none of them mattered once Ryder pulled me to his chest.
He lent me his strength, gave me hope, and showed me that I deserve this second chance. Each moment spent with him, be it in the middle of the night shaking from the memories, or laughing and joking, he swung the sledgehammer, chipping away at the towering walls until there was nothing left in his way.
Then he walked right in, swagger and all, and stole my heart.
And, fuck guys, I don't want it back.
I want him.
All of him.
The good days and the bad.
I want to be his reason to keep going like he is mine.
I want to fall asleep every night with him next to me, and wake up every morning to his smile and sea blue eyes.
I want him to wake up right now so I can tell him all of this. I need him to wake up because my heart can't handle losing anyone else.
"Eddie," Rose squeezes me, forcing my attention back to her, "did you hear me?"
"No," I shake my head softly, "guess I was lost in my thoughts, what's up?"
"Mikey needs to talk to us," she nods toward the door where Mikey stands waiting.
"I don't want to leave him," I whisper, shaking my head, "I can't leave him."
"The doctor said he would be asleep for a while, the swelling has to go down before they can take him off the medication."
I nod, knowing she is right. He isn't going to wake up in the next hour, and he is in the best hands with the nurses and doctors here. Reluctantly, I let go of his hand, only to grab it again a second later, bringing his knuckles to my lips.
"I'll be back," I tell him, even though I know he doesn't hear me.
Stepping out in the hall, I slide the door closed silently, and follow Rose and Mikey back out to the waiting area. Adrian, Sydney, and Dimitri rise in sync when we walk out.
"How is he?" Sydney asks first, her hands clasped close to her heart.
"Still asleep, but he should be fine," Rose answers, which I am grateful for, I'm not sure I could answer without my voice breaking.
"We should step outside," Mikey pauses, looking around for a family room or something similar for us to talk in, " or find somewhere more private, at least."
"There is a family room just down the hall," Dimitri points out, "but I think we would be better off outside."
Night has fallen, leaving the outside of the hospital bare of passers-by, and giving us the feel of privacy tucked away in a small garden hidden in the shadows. I take a seat on one of the three marble benches, Rose and Dimitri on another, and Adrian with Sydney on the last, while Mikey stands in the middle.
"Are you finally going to tell us how you got involved with this," Rose throws out as soon as we sit.
"Yes, Sweet Pea," he smiles, drawing in a deep breath, he begins, "Robert Doru has been on our watch list for years." He starts, drawing all of our attention at the mention of a watch list. "There are things I didn't tell you, for obvious reasons," he raises his hand before Rose can snap, "I was working undercover."
"Eight years ago, Queen Tatiana and Guardian Croft assembled what we refer to as the 'Secret Service', unique, I know," he laughs, "essentially, we were a team of six who were not assigned to any particular Moroi, but were to be at the ready for any call that might require an extra protective detail, and to track any high profile Moroi who was believed to be corrupt or conspiring against the crown."
"So did she know about his intentions to have her assassinated?" Dimitri asks.
"No," Mikey shakes his head, "we don't believe that was part of his original plan, but rather thought of after it was discovered the Vasilisa specialized in Spirit and Victor was incarcerated."
"Okay," Rose drags out, running a hand through her hair, "so what prompted the 'Secret Service' eight years ago, and why was Robert on the watch list?"
"You may not remember, you would have been about twelve at the time," he gestures to Rose, "but there was a large scale debate going on within the council, and Tatiana received several death threats. She confided in Croft who handpicked Six of the highest ranking Guardians that were not Royal Guard, to look into it. Once we found the culprit and the case was closed, they decided to keep us in that role," he waves his head back and forth, "just in case."
"What was the debate?" I ask.
"Defensive magic," Dimitri answers, clearing his throat, he adds, "Ivan's dad was an advocate for it, so was Ivan."
"Bingo," Mikey taps his nose, "It's a topic that will forever be controversial, so Tatiana kept our team together, though we aren't assigned to any one specific place or person."
"So you just decided to open a diner in Seattle to pass the time," Adrian says sarcastically.
"Hey, you love my pie," he gives Adrian a four finger point, "besides, I find cooking calms me, allows me to focus when I do have a case I need to work out."
"And Robert," Rose asks, "How did he wind up on a watch list?"
"We started trying to track him four years ago when we heard he restored several Strigoi and was looking for funding. Tatiana denied him, which you all know, but he was relentless, so she wanted him kept close."
"Ryder," I mumble, my thoughts floating up to the five flights to where he is currently laying.
"Yes, along with Lee Donahue and Abigail Alto."
"Alto," the name echos from three different people.
"Yes," Mikey tilts his head, "does that name mean something to you?"
"Guardian Stan Alto," Dimitri answers, "he told me he had a sister named Abigail that died years ago."
"She did," Mikey nods, "Only seventeen when she was turned, but she is alive and well now, living in Florida."
"Oh, shit," Rose and I say at the same time.
Don't get me wrong, the things Robert has done, I don't approve of. I don't agree with the way he tried to force Rose into committing treason, or the games he played on all of us. I don't believe he was right to demand assistance the way he did, and I hate him for the devastation he brought to so many people who did nothing to deserve it.
But, I am thankful to him, to a point.
If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. Ryder wouldn't be alive, nor would Alto's sister. Lee would have been too had he not tried to turn again, though that was his choice. He gave all of us another chance at life. His ideas and experiments are the only reason any of us are here, living our lives the way we were meant too.
"Anyway," Mikey starts up again, "We tracked him constantly, but he slipped through the cracks a little less than a year ago, around the time that Victor kidnapped the Princess."
"And that's when he started planning a way to get Liss to take the throne," Rose nods, putting the pieces together.
"That is what we believe, yes," Mikey confirms. "It wasn't until you showed up in Seattle that we caught a break in the case."
"What do you mean," Rose sits up straighter, her eyes going wide.
"The night," Mikey looks at Sydney, tilting his head, "hm, I knew I recognized you," he laughs, "the night she showed up in the diner asking about you, and you told me why you were really in the city, I made a few calls," he pauses to clear his throat, running a hand over his shaved head, "one of my men said they thought they had seen him, but couldn't be sure as it was too dark to get a clear ID. I let the information go, thinking it might not have been him," drawing a deep breath, he shakes his head and adds, "then that night, I dreamed about you being taken."
"Yeah, and thanks to your information, we were able to find them in Spokane," Dimitri nods.
"It shouldn't have happened in the first place. I should have gone to you as soon as I found out instead of sitting on the intel," Mikey grinds his teeth, deep lines forming between his brows, "I'm sorry I didn't act quicker, Sweet Pea."
"Don't do that, Mikey," Rose shakes her head, "in all honesty, everything that has happened has been for the best. We may have had to fight through some really bad things, but in the end," she swats a tear from her cheek, turning her gaze to me, "I wouldn't trade it for anything."
"Same," Adrian smiles, "even if I am bonded to this guy," he juts a thumb toward Dimitri.
"Those who travel the darkest roads usually lead the brightest lives," Dimitri says in his classic Zen-Master voice.
"And I thought you had lost your Zen ways," Rose chuckles, "it's been a while, Comrade."
Blowing on his fingers, he brushes them off on his chest, "I've still got it."
"So," I cut through their laughter, needing to know, "where do we go from here?"
"Home," Mikey smiles, "or where ever you want. Robert will be sent to Tarasov, as will Ms. Ozera, pending trial, of course, but I have no doubt they will both be sent away for a very, very long time."
"What about Guardian Moore," Adrian asks, "do you know anything about that?"
"He was taken into custody immediately after the incident. He will face trial as well and more than likely be executed for treason."
"So, we're free," Rose smiles, her arms shoot up toward the sky, "Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus!"
Our laughter bounces off the walls, wrapping around us in a warm blanket.
It's amazing, this feeling of freedom, knowing that the end has finally come and we can move on with our lives. Rose and Dimitri can settle down, start a family and do whatever it is that they do. Adrian, well, he will more than likely stick it out in Texas, maybe starting a life with Sydney.
He thinks we don't know, but we know, brother, we know.
As for me, I can do whatever I want.
Right now, that's to be back by Ryder's side, holding his hand and waiting to see those damning blue eyes again.
No matter what anyone tells you, hospital chairs, are the most uncomfortable things in the entire world. I would rather sleep on the floor at this rate than to continue losing feeling in my arms and legs. But, on the floor, I can't feel him, and I need the skin contact to keep me from falling off the deep end.
It's been two days since he was brought in and he still hasn't woken. Two days of pure hell as I listen to the monitor beep in a steady rhythm. I haven't eaten, except for the protein shake thing Rose found in the cafeteria. And sleep, yeah, that hasn't come easy, barely at all to be honest.
I had hoped after Adrian came by and healed Ryder's wounds that he would wake, but it seems Spirit magic can only do so much. Rose reassured me that after Lissa healed her it would take a little for her to come around. However, I say again, it's been two fucking days and Ry is still out cold.
Shifting my position, once again, I lean forward laying my head on one arm at the edge of the mattress, with the other under the blanket, resting my hand below his knee. Watching the small TV playing some nineteen-nineties sitcom, I rub my thumb over his knee, whispering, 'please, wake up, please, wake up', until my eyes slide closed.
Is that a bug? I shake my head, but the feeling is still there, something is moving on the back of my head. Wait.. is that… fingers?
I jolt upright like I've been bitten in the ass by a snake, "Ryder," his name flowing breathlessly from my lips.
"Hey," his lips twitch with a weak smile, licking his lips, he tries to speak again, "you're.. here," he manages with a deep rasp.
I feel my eyes growing wet, a stream rolling down my cheek. Swatting away the tears, the corner of my lips get introduced to my ears, "Of course, I am here," I say with a soft chuckle.
He opens his mouth but stops to lick his lips again. He has to be thirsty after not having anything in days, so I rise from my spot and grab a cup of water for him. Pressing the button on the side, I raise him up until he is sitting at a better angle, and seat myself halfway on the bed beside him. Putting the straw to his lips, he sips tentatively on the cool liquid, whispering, "thank you," when he finishes.
"How are you feeling? Are you in any pain? Do I need to get a nurse?" I ramble the questions so fast I doubt he catches them all, and if he did, he laughed them all off.
"I'm okay," his hand reaches forward, I take it in mine, "how long?"
"Two days," I shrug like I haven't been freaking the fuck out for the last forty-eight hours.
"Not bad," he purses his lips and nods, "do you know if the woman…" he trails off.
"They were able to get her out too, she is recovering down the hall. The firefighters told us that if you hadn't moved her, she would have been crushed." Smiling, I squeeze his hand and add, "You saved her life, Ry."
His sea blue eyes sparkle at that, and God- I am walking on air, "And Rose? Is she okay?"
"She is," I nod, "there is a lot that happened after you went into that house though, but you need to finish healing before we get into all of it."
"Just need a little more water, a greasy burger, about a pound of fries, and I will be good to go," he jokes, and a deep rumble sounds off from his stomach.
"I'll take your word for it," I laugh, "let me go get the nurse so she can check everything. Hopefully, we can go home soon."
Rising from my seat, I turn to walk away, but his hand wraps around my arm stopping me. I trail my eyes from his hand, up his arm to land on his face. There is something vulnerable swimming through his eyes, almost as if he doesn't want me to walk away, even for just a second to get the nurse.
"Ry, I need to let them look at you," I whisper.
"I need to tell you something, Eddie," his voice soft, sweet, and a little timid.
I sit back on the edge, taking his hand in both of mine, "What's wrong?"
"Can you come closer," he lifts his other hand, waving me toward him.
Shifting again, I lean a little closer, careful not to put any weight on his body, not knowing if any amount of pressure will hurt him. He raises his hand, the one not holding mine, to my cheek, wiping away the straggler tears that managed to make a break for it.
"Don't cry," he whispers, "Please, don't cry."
"I'm just happy you are awake, I was so worried you weren't going to make it. The doctors…"
He cuts me off.
The hand that had been wiping my tears is now locked behind my neck, pulling me toward him, pressing his lips to mine. My mind short-circuited for two point five seconds before jump-starting back up, right along with my heart.
Can I tell you a secret?
Promise you won't tell anyone, especially Adrian cause that guy can't keep anything to himself.
I have never kissed anyone before.
Not like this.
I kissed Meredith when we were in the fifth grade, but it was only a peck. Quick. No work required. It was also when I began to realize that I wasn't into girls.
With that said, it goes without saying I've never had sex either.
But that's another topic for another time.
Ryder's lips continue to caress mine, sending shockwaves through my entire body. My skin tingles where his hands roam down my side, stopping at my hip to pull me closer. Blood pounds in my ears from the racing of my heart, and I feel, for the first time in a very long time, that I have found my way home.
Home is with him. With his lips on mine, his heart beating against my chest, and his hands holding me as if he can't let go.
He doesn't attempt to deepen the kiss, and neither do I. Not only because I am inexperienced, but really, there's not much to it, but because we don't need to in order to convey the feeling, the thoughts, we are both having.
I pull away first, needing to stop for more than one reason. I'd like to say it's because he just woke up from a two-day coma-like state, but in truth, it's because my dick is growing impossibly hard and if I don't stop myself, these nurses just might get more than they bargained for with their job.
Pressing my forehead to his, I lick my lips, tasting the last remanence of him, and pant out the words I have been dying to say, "I love you, Ryder."
I keep my eyes closed, fearing my confession isn't exactly what he expected to hear.
"Eddie," my name comes out in a husky whisper.
Drawing in a deep breath, I open my eyes, and he places two fingers under my chin, lifting my face to his. His eyes search mine. My eyes search his. I am not sure how long we sit there, reading each other, but when his lips tilt toward the ceiling, my heart learns to beat again.
"I love you, too, Yank."
Author's Note:
OH MY SWEET BABY JESUS!
I AM OVER THE FLIPPING MOON RIGHT NOW!
I have been DYING for this moment and it is sooo much more than I could ever have hoped for.
-Swoon-
Ah, okay, now that I have settled my racing heart, did you guys enjoy our little bit of Eddie. I felt his POV was LONG overdue, and of course, I needed his confession to come from him.
Have a Happy Sunday!
All My Love,
Dream