Necessary Evil

Chapter Twenty-One
FF#281: Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Taking a long drag from his imported bottle of beer, Patrick Webber hopped up onto his island countertop, ready for a show. He had long since been aware of the persuasive powers women possessed. After all, a man couldn't share his home with Carly Roberts and not know a thing or two about feminine manipulation, but, for what might have been the first time ever, he was going to get to see it in used against another woman, and he was going to make damn sure that he had a front row seat for such an event.

Although the neurosurgeon had his objections to his baby sister's fledgling relationship with mob ingénue extraordinaire, Jason Morgan, she was an adult, and, just as she had hesitantly accepted his relationship with Carly, he knew he was expected to do the same for her. He also had doubts about their plan to have Jason be seen about town with another woman escorted on his arm in order to draw attention away from his sister, but, on the other hand, he didn't have any better ideas, so he agreed to help her, albeit slightly reluctantly, and, since he was already in the mess, he figured he should at least make the most of it.

So, that's why he and Carly had called both Elizabeth and Alexis that evening for an impromptu dinner. He had cooked – or ordered in and reheated, and, in exchange, the women had offered to clean up the kitchen while he had a beer or two. But the agreed upon trade had ended up with his sister doing all the work as she washed the dishes and packed the leftovers away, while Alexis made her way through a bottle of wine, Patrick assumed to combat her belligerent relationship with his girlfriend, and Carly sat at the kitchen table, flipping through just another one of her endless stream of clothing catalogs that came in the mail.

At the moment, the two of them were arguing over proper color schemes for a professional office, something the doctor knew the lawyer cared absolutely nothing about, but, after receiving a pleading look from his sister, he decided to intervene, despite the risks such an action would prove against his own life. "Ladies, please," he beseeched them, a dimpled grin softening the frustrated tone of his voice. "This isn't a courtroom, Alexis," he chided the older woman, "and, Carly," he turned towards his live-in girlfriend, "why can't you realize that she's just baiting you?"

"She's still wrong," the interior designer contended, leveling her enemy with a haughty smirk. "I mean, look at her. It's obvious that she has no taste whatsoever."

"That's nice," he flippantly remarked, not even really paying attention to what the blonde said. Instead, he clapped his hands together, signaling a change in subject. "So, tell me, Immy, what's going on with you lately?"

His sister sighed. It was a put upon, depressed, almost desperate sound of dissatisfaction. 

"I'm afraid it's something that no one could really help me with, not even you guys."

"Now, that I resent," Alexis stated dramatically. "I like to think that I can fix just about anything. You get arrested, you call me. You have problems with a customer, or the bank concerning your building lone, or you need financial advice, those are things I can always help you with."

"Yeah, well, this is personal."

Carly snorted. "Well, you better not ask the suit about that. If you're having guy problems, I guess," the blonde rolled her eyes, struggling to say her next words. "I guess you can come to me. If anyone's going to be able to help you with a man, I should be able to."

"That's because you've already spread your legs for most if not all of them," Alexis cracked, laughing at her own joke.

Hiding behind his beer, Patrick took another long pull from the dewy bottle. While he loved Carly and was thankful for her presence in his life, he was also fully capable of recognizing her flaws, and, though the attorney greatly exaggerated his girlfriend's previous lack of discretion towards men, he knew that she had been less than pure when he had met her. Hell, that had been half the attraction in the first place for the neurosurgeon, and it wasn't like he was saint either.

Clearing his throat, he decided to reign in the argument that was already starting to brew between the two antagonistic women. Speaking louder than they were, he turned the attention back to his sister. "Immy, just tell us what's going on. Even if we can't help you, sometimes just saying something out loud makes the answer to your problems a little bit clearer."

"If I tell you," Elizabeth bargained, looking over her shoulder to glare at her friend, "then you have to promise me that you'll limit the commentary and the 'I told you so's,' and, instead, just focus on helping me. Can you do that?"

"I don't care what you do with your personal life… or your professional one, for that matter," the interior designer informed her candidly. "And, besides, I'm not one to ridicule someone else for their relationship choices. That would be Alexis."

"And she was speaking to me when she offered us that warning," the lawyer returned just as snidely. "You know, it's reassuring, though, to know that you never change. Not even living with a renowned doctor has improved your intelligence. Subtlety is just never going to be your strong suit, is it, Carly?"

"Alright, retract the claws, ladies," his sister was the one to break them up that time, and Patrick had to admit he was grateful for the fact. Someday, the two of them together were going to turn on the person who tried to stand between their fights, and the result wouldn't be pretty. "The short of it is," Elizabeth continued, explaining her problem, "Jason's… 

business associates have gotten wind of our friendship…"

"Friendship my ass," Alexis mumbled, rolling her eyes, but the brunette who was elbow deep into greasy dish suds ignored her.

"And, to turn their attention off of us, he's going to start dating someone… or pretend to, at least."

"So, what's the problem," his girlfriend asked, sounding confused. "Morgan's hot. I'm sure he could get just about any woman in this town to date him."

"Except we just don't want any woman," the painter stressed. "Whoever he pretends to date has to be aware that this is just a ruse. She needs to be attractive yet intelligent, someone it would make sense for Jason to date, but, at the same time, she also needs to be accepting of the fact that there will never be more between them besides friendship."

"Plus, don't forget the whole danger issue," Alexis quipped, chuckling softly at her own mocking remark. "Whoever this woman turns out to be will have to be willing to enter into the line of fire; she's going to have to be stupid enough to be willing to trade her life for a few good, last meals."

"Not true," Elizabeth stressed, tossing her dishrag into the sink and causing tiny soap bubbles to come up and splatter against her sweater. Pivoting on her heal to face her friend, she contradicted, "Jason's promised me that he'll keep whoever this woman is safe. Besides, by the time his business associates realize that he's, quote on quote, seeing someone, he's going to stage a very public, very messy breakup, and then the woman will be free to go back to her regular, boring life."

Not willing to relent yet, the attorney pressed, "and where will that leave you and your Romeo?"

"We're not seeing each other."

"Yes," the older woman added smugly. "You're not seeing each other YET."

Patrick was surprised that his girlfriend had managed to remain silent during the whole back and forth exchange, but, when a silence fell between the two bickering brunettes, she finally spoke up. "Well, I guess I could talk to my friends, see if any of them would be interested, but I've got to tell you, Elizabeth," she warned his sister. "Most of them are not going to be satisfied with just pretending to date Jason Morgan. They're going to want the real thing."

"Actually, now that you mention it," the shop owner admitted, averting her gaze from Carly's as her words tailed off softly. He had to grin at his baby sister's game. The woman knew how to play people, and he would be fooling himself if he didn't admit he was impressed by her. Crossing his legs up on the counter so that he could lean his elbows on his bent knees, Patrick prepared himself for the kill, savoring every last minute of the 

performance occurring before him.

Elizabeth twisted her fingers in a dish towel, rubbed her sock covered toes against the back of her pant leg. Distractedly, nervously, she bit her bottom lip before finally glancing up to meet the interior decorator's gaze. "I was kind of wondering if you'd be willing to help us out." Once the idea was out there, she started talking rapidly. "I mean, I know that you're in love with my brother, so I won't have to worry about you trying anything with Jason. Plus, you're a beautiful, interesting woman, Carly. You could definitely pull this off."

Exploding, Alexis stood up so rapidly from her seat at the kitchen table, she knocked her chair over backwards, but, so lost was she in the moment, she never noticed. "Are you insane?! A man like Jason Morgan would never date a woman like Carly Roberts. Five minutes in her presence, and he'd personally be calling out a hit on her."

"Excuse me," his girlfriend retorted angrily. "I am in the room here!"

"Just, for once," the attorney pleaded with her, her patience threatening to snap, "shut up for a minute, would you?" Looking back towards the brunette artist, she continued. "I don't know if you're too hyped up on raging hormones right now, but you're not thinking clearly, Elizabeth. Carly and Jason together would be a disaster. Her idea of intelligent conversation consists of discussing the latest Hollywood sex scandal. From what you've told me, Jason enjoys history and horticulture, traveling and economics. I mean, let's really think about this.

"What would he and Carly do on their dates – get facials together? Perhaps he could hold her bags for her while she, single handedly, racks up the largest fourth quarter profits Wyndhams has ever seen? No, I don't think that would work out too well," Alexis argued. "He's going to need someone whom he can take out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, who won't pull a Pretty Woman moment and send her escargot sailing across the room. He needs someone whom he can ask to go to the theatre with him, and they won't be expecting to see the latest slasher flick. He needs someone who understands proper etiquette, who is rational minded and calm, and, above everything else, he needs someone, for this, who absolutely despises him and everything he stands for just to make sure that whomever this woman is doesn't go and find herself falling in love with him, because, at the end of this entire ordeal, whether you want to admit it or not, it's going to be you standing by Jason's side and not this fake girlfriend."

Loud, taunting clapping erupted from his girlfriend's hands at the end of the lawyer's speech. "Why, congratulations, counselor," Carly mocked, saluting her rival with a tip of her finely groomed head. "You just made an excellent case… for yourself. After all that you just said, there's no one else Elizabeth could possibly find to date Jason but you. I hope you're evenings for the next couple of weeks are free, Alexis, because you just found yourself a boyfriend, fake though he may be."

Patrick watched fascinated as the always articulate, always reserved, always in control attorney simply gaped at his girlfriend like a guppy, and he let out a comical fit of laughter. 

Immy had done it; she had set out to trap Alexis into pretending to date Jason, and, without even really putting forth an effort, she got the results she wanted. Game, set, and match. He had never been more proud of her.