Cartography

by Word-Spitting-Dragon

Resisty!Zim AU: When the Irkens start exporting dangerous goods outside of known Irken space, Zim and his fellow R.E.S.I.S.T.Y. members decide to take a look, hoping to expose something they can use to finally end the Irken Menace. But what lies out in the farthest, uncharted corners of space? And could it really help the rebel cause? ZADF eventually ZADR

21. Chapter 21

This chapter is so full of EMOTIONS and words. Words and feelings. Seriously, everyone's loosing their shit and I wrote waaaaaay too much to that effect because drama is all I know how to write hahahahahaha *is trash* :"D

Also, also thank you everyone SO MUCH for supporting me and sticking with it! I know updates have been few and far between what with school n other shenanigans but I'm doing my best to write whenever I can! So thank you for you patience and lovely support while I take these weird, monthly hiatuses. Hopefully I'll be writing bimonthly again soon since summer is coming up! Oh and last note here but this chapter is also MEGA LONG so sleep BEFORE you read! Hahahah (or don't but like, don't blame me if you're a zombie the next day! ;P)

Oh, ALSO as for Ixane's code thing? I was gunna make it super hard but I was lazy so I'll be super disappointed if you guys don't get it! Hahaha juuust kidding (but I will JUDGE you super hard)

Hahahaha anyway, crazyness over, please enjoy the story! :D

Zim was in a mood.

It was hardly surprising, given how prone to them he was, but Dib couldn't help but feel an inkling of betrayal after they'd had a relatively nice mission. Well… In hindsight at least, the 'during' part hadn't been exactly pleasant, but dammit if they hadn't earned a few moments of peace. Instead, they'd been unpleasantly ordered back to Med Bay by Ixane, and she hadn't exactly asked nicely.

Hence the Irken's current mood.

"Why am I the only one who has to get checked out!?" Zim snapped. His hands were shoved deep in the pockets of his uniform and he was stomping around in the same way a pouty kid might kick at the dirt. "Why didn't she ask for you, huh? Or Spleenk or Shloonk? We all went. It's like she thinks I'm always getting hurt or something!"

Dib, who was trotting alongside the Irken, accompanying him to Med Bay to get his own wounds treated, eyed Zim's burnt arm skeptically. "Well," He began dryly, his fidgety hands finding the hem of his pocket where he buried them, "She's not wrong…"

"Silence!" Zim roared. He rounded on the human, pointing an accusatorial finger at his nose, "Whose side are you on anyway!?" Then he grabbed Dib's injured arm, perhaps a bit too roughly, and shook it, ignoring the way the human squealed in displeasure, brandishing it as a kind of proof. "You got hurt too, didn't you!?"

"Ow, leggo!" Dib snapped, his hand coming up to push at Zim's head, fighting to get his arm away from the grabby Irken. He wanted to punch the guy, his arm stung terribly, but somehow he knew the resulting fight wouldn't be worth it, "Geez, those stupid talons of yours are gunna fuck it up even more!" He glared sideways, out of squinty eyes, at Zim as he nursed his hand, rubbing sore tendons as he spat, "And why do you think I'm coming with you!? It's certainly not for your stellar company so stop being such a baby! Besides, you were going to go there anyway!"

"That's different!" Zim snarled, throwing his good hand into the air in exasperation, like somehow him going because Ixane told him and him going because he had to were night and day. Dib couldn't see the distinction.

Unfortunately Zim could.

"Whatever." Dib snapped back, rolling his eyes so far back into his head he almost glimpsed his brain. He was in no mood to get into another fight with Zim, the brief camaraderie they'd shared on the enemies' ship had been shattered when Ixane, frantic and raving, had ordered Zim back to the ship as if he were personally responsible for murdering her puppy. Or, well, Dib couldn't imagine her getting that panicky over another living thing, so perhaps it was more she'd acted like Zim had poured every bottle of alcohol she'd had down the drain, making eye contact the whole time out of spite.

Or something.

Regardless, Zim, being the gentleman he was, immediately took the rage Ixane had instilled in him at her accusatorial request and thrown it at the nearest living creature.

Dib.

They'd been bickering the whole ride back to the ship, Zim somehow finding fault in how Dib had yet again gotten injured, making the human think of the phrase 'one step forward and two steps back' in a whole new, infuriating light.

You bumbling pig-smell… WHY do you keep getting hurt, HUH?! Zim KNEW he should have been the one to deactivate the stupid ship… On and on and on, like a broken record, Zim had been spouting such lines the whole way back. Never mind the fact that, had Zim deactivated it, Dib would surely have plummeted to his death after the bioscan activated the trap. Or had Zim not thrown Dib, breaking the human's nose while simultaneously allowing them precious time to deal with that sugar-creature, they both would've probably been eaten or whatever before they'd even gotten that far.

Somehow the human knew that mentioning this would only infuriate Zim further so he kept his mouth shut, slouched a bit as he walked and buried his hands deeper in his pockets. He ground his teeth a bit, curtailing an angry retort and focused his anger on Ixane for the mood the Irken was in now. Couldn't she have asked for them to come to Med Bay in a tone that didn't make them feel like total idiots? Wasn't she a girl or something? No, forget the gender stereotypes, she was a goddamn doctor, so why the hell did she have to shake them down like some sort of mobster? They'd done what they were supposed to, hadn't they? They'd shut down the enemy ship! They should have at least gotten a pat on the back, some sort of acknowledgement beyond the sarcastic snarl they'd received.

Zlarfing great work you dinguses now get your asses back here! Zim, I want you in Med Bay like yesterday, got that!? Or I'll come out there and make sure you have a damn reason to be here!

Charming, as always, that was Ixane. But somehow, she'd seemed even more irritable than usual. There had been a frantic edge to her voice where there usually was a no-shits-given sort of calmness. A gruffness that seemed to be missing. Who'd put a bee in her bonnet? And why the hell did Dib have to be Zim's punching bag in the meantime, until the Irken could start bitching at the real cause of his ire?

The second they walked into Med Bay, Dib could immediately sympathize with Zim. Ixane just had a knack for getting under people's skin and he couldn't help but feel extremely irritated that she greeted them with, "Shit, Sparkles, you loose a fight with a lawn mower? What happened to you face!?"

He grit his teeth and was about to respond, no he did not loose to a lawn mower, no he didn't want to discuss it, when Zim beat him to it, "Tallest Ixane, what the hell is your problem!? The ship's down, by the way, you're welcome."

"Oh shut it, Princess." Ixane spat back, a flame of anger leaping into her eyes and she stomped forward to grab Zim by the collar, "You have no zlarfing clue what kind of shit just hit the fan and I swear on Golbart's-"

She didn't get to finish on which part of Golbart's no doubt shapely anatomy she was swearing by, because at that moment Lard Nar popped out behind a privacy curtain, cutting her off with a comment of his own. His bunched up shirt was in his hands, halfway through the motion of pulling it on over his head, the freshly dressed wound on his shoulder glaringly apparent.

"Ixane, calm yourself, they don't know what happened." He paused, looking between Dib and Zim and said, "Oh dear. It seems I need some updating as well, are you two alright?"

"Peachy." Dib muttered, folding his arms and willing himself to be better than Zim and Ixane and not take his rage out on the next person. Lard Nar didn't need his shit, if the weary, dull glimmer of his eyes were any indication. The guy seemed exhausted as it was but then again, he'd been stuck in Med Bay with Ixane until his shoulder got better, so Dib rationalized it as the look anyone might have after prolonged exposure to her.

Zim, strangely enough, suddenly lost all the heat in his voice, and he took an unhealthy interest in staring at the floor, mumbling halfheartedly, "We're fine." The way he said it was anything but, and Dib almost asked what was wrong with him when a bolt of understanding suddenly struck him.

Zim hadn't seen Lard Nar since the incident, had he?

Dib's eyes trailed along Lard Nar's shoulder and he felt a pang of sympathy at the slightly blued gauze wrapping it. No wonder Zim was acting so weird, the Captain was still bleeding, looking hardly any better. The Irken probably felt like an absolute asshole.

Zim warily eyed the Vortian, his mouth working silently as though he were trying to come up with something to say, and Dib could practically feel the discomfort radiating from him. The way Zim started fidgeting with his arm drew Ixane's attention to his mangled arm, and before she could stop herself, she snarled, "Great." And gestured towards it, "What the zlarfing hell did you do?!"

"Oh… uh… we um… there were… complications and…" Zim mumbled, the heat from his voice gone frigid, listless. He kept only half his attention on the woman as he stiffly watched the Vortian out of the corner of his eye. He trailed off, looking lost, panicky, like a chastised child awaiting punishment and he was suddenly and completely at a loss for how he should act.

The Doctor, not understanding the behavior quite yet, was about to get even madder. She didn't need Zim turning whiney and weepy just when some psychopath flew in and determined only his abilities, or lack thereof, could reunite her with her daughter. She opened her mouth to say something, start something, but Lard Nar cut her off before she had the chance. "Ixane, if you don't mind, I think I need a moment with my Commander."

"Are you kidding me?" She demanded, still not entirely reading the situation, her own issues still too close to the surface to see anything else, "Love fest can come later, you read what the-"

"Just a moment doctor, I understand the crisis, but there's an order to these things"" Lard Nar said, more sternly, and this time his voice was a bit exasperated. Perhaps it was his tone that finally got Ixane to look past herself towards Zim, and her mouth dropped into a little 'O' of understanding as she looked between the officers.

Right.

Ixane pursed her lips, taking all of a half second to decide, before she walked over to Dib and steered him by the shoulders towards the privacy curtain Lard Nar had emerged from. "C'mon Sparkles, give 'em their moment, let's get you patched up."

Dib was definitely not about to argue, and he easily allowed the woman to lead him away from a very awkward and personal moment between the two. He followed her behind the curtain, climbing onto the gurney behind it, and forced himself to focus on nothing but the firm-yet-gentle grip of Ixane's hands, the gruff murmering of her voice, as she began setting his nose and dressing his wounds.

One the other side of the curtain, Lard Nar gave Zim a hesitant smile.

Zim stared at his shoes.

When it became clear the Vortian that Zim had no intention of broaching the elephant in the room, Lard Nar approached him. Zim visibly flinched back but Lard Nar quickly caught his arm before he could further retreat. "Hey now." The Captain said, as though he were addressing a child. Zim acted the part well, glancing toward the Vortian and then quickly away, so Lard Nar cleared his throat and asked, "Are you going to be ok?"

Zim was silent a moment, eyeing the Vortian quietly as though he'd made a poor joke, "Are you?"

"Now see here, I may not look it, but you know it takes more to rattle me." He gave Zim a cheesy grin and a thumbs up with his good hand, "You're going to have to try hard to get rid of me!"

Zim didn't know what to say, the Vortian's forgiving nature almost too much to bear, and he dropped to his knees, yanking Lard Nar into a hug. "Zim is so, so sorry, Nar."

"Hey… No apologies necessary…" Lard Nar shushed.

"But I-…." Zim trailed off, burying his face in the crook of the Vortian's neck.

Lard Nar sighed, patting his Commander's head, "Zim, it's ok, really it is."

"…I'm still sorry." Zim muttered, pouting until Lard Nar could no longer bear it. The Vortian pulled back, grabbed Zim's face and gave him a little shake, capturing his attention.

"No, Zim. I'm sorry."

For pushing too hard. For not noticing Zim's distress. For allowing himself to get hurt. It didn't really matter, Zim seemed to immediately understand what those words meant, the complete forgiveness, and coiled his arm python tight around his brother, burying his face in his shoulder.

Lard Nar sighed, a small smile on his lips, and his said wearily, with humor, "So emotional…" He gave the Irken a fierce hug, allowing the contact to speak for itself. Then, after several moments, he patted Zim on the head and pulled back so he could look the Irken in the eyes. Lard Nar caught his head between warm hands so Zim couldn't look away and brushed away the Irken's budding tears with his thumb tip. "Come on, now." Lard Nar said, not allowing a silence to pass between them so Zim wouldn't feel embarrassed, "Let's get your arm looked at now, OK?"

"Yeah…" Zim agreed, a little sullenly, feeling like a child. He kept his eyes adverted and his cheeks were flushed a deep purple, obviously embarrassed with his little outburst despite Lard Nar's best efforts to soothe him. "OK." He got to his feet and grabbed the Vortian by the shirtsleeve. Lard Nar gave him a questioning look and Zim explained, "Before we go… uh… your shoulder…"

"Is fine." The Captain assured with a fond frown.

"…right…" Zim sighed, deciding it was best to leave it, ask about it later. He followed the Vortian to the little privacy curtain Ixane had pulled shut between them to give them the illusion of privacy. It was obvious she'd heard everything, but even the Doctor seemed to know how to pick her fights because she said nothing as she finished up Dib's arm and moved to tend to Zim, only saying enough to prompt him to sit on the gurney so she could properly examine him.

Zim found that suspicious, even after the incident she'd found something to tease him about, and the Irken couldn't help but feel like something was amiss. He asked in part because he wanted to know, but also because he didn't want this lingering feeling in the air, like he was delicate, breakable, and they needed to tiptoe around his feelings when he was Irken for Tallest's sake.

"Alright." He said finally, as Ixane began to wind the bandages around his arm, the fact she hadn't even attempted to remove the little bump beneath his skin set his skin alight with anxiety.

She knew something.

"Something happened." Zim stated, not a question, a fact. His eyes narrowed and he glared at the doctor, "What happened?"

Lard Nar and Ixane traded quick looks, an irritation bubbling in Zim as they did it because he knew they were silently determining if he was well enough to know yet. Zim cleared his throat and said, in a way that almost resembled a pout, if Zim were the type to pout. Which of course he wasn't, "Lard Nar's part of this." Which was his way of saying if the man with a fucking hole in his shoulder could handle the news, then surely Zim, with only a moderately burned arm, could handle it too.

Ixane sighed, her eyes flickered towards Dib, the concerning bump she'd found on his arm fresh in her mind, and said, regrettably, "It's not your reaction I'm worried about at this point."

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Dib piped up, suspiciously. He'd been quiet for the most part, feeling like the whole Zim-Nar reunion thing wasn't something he had the privilege to comment on, but now that they were blasting past that and insinuating something of him, he justifiably felt he had a stake in it.

Ixane rolled her eyes, looked to Lard Nar again, and said, a bit more irritably, "Might as well debrief them here then."

"Shouldn't you debrief all the Senior Officers?" Lard Nar asked, but his voice had the candor of someone who was bouncing back ideas, trying to coax someone to think out loud rather than lead them towards any specific actions.

Ixane glanced over at the Captain with a glare, "When you buy a pet fish do you just smash it in the bowl too?" She growled, rolling her eyes, "Zlarfing hell, aren't you the one always telling me to be sensitive? Spleenk and Shloonk are too jumpy to act normal around these guys if they know they're rigged to blow."

"WHAT?!" Dib snarled, leaping to his feat and frantically grabbed at his arm, correctly deducing the bump to be some sort of explosive from the comment. Before he could begin to claw his arm off, however, Zim's arm snapped up and grabbed the human by the wrist.

"Dib." Zim said, turning to face the human and giving him a logical arch of his eye ridge, as if the answer were so obvious it wasn't worth squawking over. "If those marks are really imbedded explosives, then we're rather lucky they're in our arms right? Arms aren't vital."

"W-what are you saying?" Dib asked, not sure how to read the gleam in Zim's eye.

Zim smiled, "We cut them off."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"Ok no! Settle down, no one's cutting anything off!" Lard Nar stepped up, regretting that he hadn't been the one to tell them. He shot Ixane a look and huffed, "Sensitive, huh?"

She shrugged, as though it was all he could hope for her to at least try, with less the than favorable results being something he should have expected, "Yeah, well."

Dib, not at all concerned with Ixane and Nar's little banter, instantly endorsed the Captain's statement. He was, of course, very pro not-cutting-arms-off. "Like hell we're doing that!" He snarled, glaring at Zim and furiously nodding towards Lard Nar, as though he was the only sensible one.

"Oh come on." Zim said, rolling his eyes as if Dib were a whiny child avoiding bedtime, "Ixane can reattach it and you'll only be in excruciating pain for maybe a few minutes." A frown suddenly adorned his face and he commented thoughtfully, "Although it feels longer… but," He shrugged, "You'll live."

Zim couldn't fathom why this could be an issue. To him, this was a no brainer, as surely anything would be preferable to willingly being blown to bits. After all, scars were marks of honor; if you amassed a lot in order to complete your conquest did it not show you to be a more fearsome warrior?

Dib did not see this poetic thought line in the least.

He held his doomed arm far away from Zim, as though he were a mother bear and he had to show down with Zim in order to protect the 'cub' and he asserted how he thought this should go down.

"We are not doing that Zim." Dib snapped, surreptitiously shuffling behind Lard Nar as though Zim were so violate that he could pounce at any moment and only the Vortian could shield him. Having quite enough of this idiotic male posturing, Ixane stepped up between the pair, placing a hand on a shapely hip and giving Zim an are-you-stupid? little huff.

"Yeah, no." Ixane agreed, she shifted her weight back and folded her arms across her chest, as if trying to gauge the level of Zim's stupidity and whether or not it was within her medical reaches to somehow cure. She sighed as though Zim was a lost cause and said, "Nice try, Princess, but humans don't work that way."

"And even if they did," Lard Nar cut in, seeing the calculating look on Zim's face, knowing full well he needed to shut down that line of thought, "They'll detonate the second the integrated flesh perishes. Meaning if you die or chop off your arm, it will still detonate."

"But it'll take a degree to register the flesh as dead, correct?" Zim argued back, still fully on board with mutilating himself and Dib, "If we could find a deserted asteroid nearby we could use the teleporter to beam ourselves away from the explosion."

"In, what? The half second we have before it blows?!" Dib growled, glaring at Zim, still hugging his wounded arm protectively. "And then what? You get to regrow your arm like a fucking lizard and I get to spend my life as an amputee?"

"Oh don't be such a smeet." Zim commented with an exasperated roll of his eyes, "There are prosthetics and cybernetic enhancements you could use." He said this as if it was as simple as choosing between chocolate or vanilla ice cream and Dib shouldn't be so high maintenance that'd he'd need more than a second or two to decide.

"Yeah, again, humans don't work like that." Ixane snapped, crossing her arms and rolling a hand loftily about her wrist, conjuring up her next line of thought with an air of disinterest, clearly wanting to talk about something else that weighed on her mind but continuing to humor Zim out of obligation, "And even if we had some that might work on humans, there are still huge problems with cybernetically enhanced skin growth so don't even get me started on the issues of bone and muscle growth."

"Who says it has to be altered healing?" Zim asked, tapping his claw along the crook of his elbow, impatiently explaining what he clearly thought was obvious, "I'm talking about neurologic prosthetic enhancements or something similar."

Ixane paused, her interest peaking enough to fully concentrate on the conversation and she rubbed her chin thoughtfully, musing, "Ok, actually that might work… but he'd never have feeling there again."

"He's right handed though, is feeling really that important in the non dominate hand? Besides he'd have the rest of his arm." Zim continued in that infuriatingly casual voice as if the decision to mutilate Dib was not only not a difficult one to make, it was also only mildly interesting. A small and easy to solve problem. The human couldn't help the burble of rage that the two had not only entertained the horrifying thought for so long, but without bothering to ask his opinion, that he finally snapped.

"Oh my god, why the fuck are you guys even considering this?! If you think I'm just going to go along with your plan to mutilate me you've got another thing coming you pair of-"

"Ok enough!" Lard Nar declared, deciding that what ever colorful Earthanoid saying Dib was working up to spitting out would only further derail the conversation from the point. His authoritative, echoing voice silencing the growing squabble, "No one is cutting off anyone's anything! No arms, no legs," He glared at Zim here, the Irken purpling as though the Vortian had touched on an embarrassing subject, "No nothing. If it's attached to your body it's not coming off." He then pointed accusingly at the still blushing Irken, declaring, "I'm looking at you." Then, wearily, as if he couldn't believe he had to spell this out, "Don't tamper with this thing until we know more about it. That's an order. The last thing we need is another leg fiasco."

"Leg fiasco?" Dib echoed curiously, but before he could ask about it, Ixane's eyes darkened and she glowered at him, obviously remembering an unpleasant memory.

"Don't ask, Sparkles." She hissed dangerously, "Don't you zlarfing ask."

"Um…" Dib trailed off, question dying on his lips and he awkwardly looked at his feel.

He really wanted to ask.

"Fine." Zim huffed moodily, like a spoilt child denied a toy. "Let's just let active explosives live in our arms. Zim is sure that will work out much better than loosing a measly body part."

"Easy for you to say when you can reassemble yourself." Dib muttered moodily, his mind still very much on the subject he wasn't supposed to ask about, rather than the issue at hand. But why couldn't he ask!? You couldn't just bring something like that up in the heat of the moment and expect him not to be curious.

Lard Nar resisted the urge to roll his eyes and said, "I think we need to focus on the issue at hand. More specifically," He turned towards Ixane, "We need to explain the situation at hand."

"Situation?" Zim echoed, concern burbling up that the bombs weren't the situation that needed explaining.

He was annoyed when neither acknowledged his little question and Ixane immediately shot back, "Yeah, yeah, rally the troops or whatever."

"And whom should I rally?" Lard Nar shot back, raising a brow. This wasn't his decision to make. Theoretically, the only ones who technically needed to know were in this room, and the Vortian knew how incredibly protective Ixane was in regards to her daughter and information revolving around her.

"Yin and who ever else you think has to know at this point, you figure it out." She gave him a rather meaningful look there and then turned around, ripping open the privacy curtains so she could begin to make her way out of Med Bay, "Meet me down in the Lounge in fifteen, kay?"

Lard Nar's nasal slits flared briefly and he stomped his hoof slightly, saying, "For a meeting of this caliber, I hardly think it appropriate to meet in the Lounge."

Ixane half turned, a mischievous, vicious half curve on her lips, "Well," She said, her smile growing by teeth, "It's a thing good your thoughts don't matter to the Acting Captain." She turned her back to him, raising her hand in a ta-ta sort of half wave, and called over her shoulder as she left, "Besides, Yin promised me they're buying."

"Tch." Lard Nar scowled with a half sigh. He should have expected as much, Ixane wasn't the type who could stay both neutral and sober when discussing an issue so close to home. Before the Vortian could turn around and explain Ixane's behavior to Zim and Dib, he felt a hand fall on his shoulder. Zim, already piecing together the issue and needing no explanation, stood by his Captain's side, commenting in a tone that was half serious and half joking.

"You were the one who begged her to join." His tone was almost accusatory, like he were suggesting Lard Nar be held responsible for a bratty child, but there was a fondness there too, "She said whoever has to be there and Yin. That means we just need Yin, right?"

"Yeah." Lard Nar sighed. "Let's go get Yin."

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"She's fact checking." Zim mused, picking at a lingering bit of dirt under one of his talons and inspecting it carelessly, like what he said was painfully obvious. Then he slid the folder across the large, square table towards Lard Nar, as if quickly flipping through it had been enough for him to deduce this. He flopped back into the cushions of the corner booth and crossed his arms as though chewing through an unpleasant line of thought.

Lard Nar, Zim, Dib and Ixane were trading words together in the dim lighting of the Lounge, the ship's 9th floor recreation room that had been converted from a tiny gym into a cozy bar. The addition was made in the Resistance's second year of operation, when Ixane joined. The doctor had almost immediately and infuriatingly started a petition that caught fire and made it impossible for the bar not to be built. Apparently, the luxury of alcohol was the number one priority among treats his crew preferred and the addition had been too good for moral to ignore.

Leave it to Ixane to know the 'medical' benefits of alcohol.

"Fact checking?" Lard Nar echoed, taking the folder quietly and handing it to Ixane, who hid it away in her lab coat. He glanced over his shoulder towards the large, wooden bar where Yin was ordering their drinks, and he wondered if they should wait to discuss this until the Psychedelia returned. Then he remembered how Ixane had greeted her Nurse by ripping off their left glove and crashing their hands together.

Honestly, Yin probably knew more about the situation than anyone at this point, himself included, from that brief glimpse into the Doctor's mind. Lard Nar forced himself to focus on Zim, who so far had only been told about Tak's involvement and nothing about Ixane or her daughter. "How do you mean?"

Zim shrugged, drumming his fingers across the table and looking petulantly off towards where Yin was, watching them head towards the table with the drinks. He shrugged, as if the explanation was completely inconsequential, "Probably what I said back on that dirt ball."

Dib glared at the Irken, Zim's constant need to be childish and petty towards his planet understandably rubbing him the wrong way, "Hey!" He snapped, wagging an accusatory finger at Zim like he was a schoolboy who needed schooling, "That dirt ball happens to be my home and it has a name."

Zim rolled his eyes, glared back towards Dib before focusing on Lard Nar again and amending, "Fine. What Zim said back on Eey-areth." He shot the human a look and, like an unpleasant toddler, smirked at him. "Happy?" He sneered, as though his terrible attitude could be overlooked because he'd done what he'd been asked to.

"Not entirely, no." Dib spat back, infuriated that he couldn't tell if Zim's stupid pronunciation had been intentional or just his normal clueless mangling of Dib's language. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Zim, willing himself not to pout.

Lard Nar watched the whole exchange with an amused sort of irritation. He sighed, glancing sideways at Ixane as though she'd betrayed him, crossing his tiny arms tightly against his chest and sinking back into his seat as he muttered, "And here I thought you said they were getting along."

"Oh come off it!" Ixane snapped back, glaring at the two in question and hissing, "If you miss an episode or two of your Soaps, of course there's gunna be new drama. Bet they had a couple's quarrel on the ship." She grumbled the last bit and took a sullen gulp of her Uloovian whiskey, which had just been set before as Yin returned to the table and started doling out drinks. The Psychedelia made no comment on the Aquartian's aggressive half emptying of her drink and as they finished passing everyone their order, she placed a sixth, unclaimed drink in front of Ixane that was mysteriously the same as her initial order.

Lard Nar couldn't help but admire how well Yin knew their Doctor.

"We did not!" Dib snapped, slapping his hand on the table like a child, almost knocking over the milk Yin'd set in front of him and feeling a flare of embarrassment. The childish drink, chosen due to his stomach's squeamishness at the thought of drinking more after the previous night, only served to remind him how worked up he was getting over such a childish action. His face burnt a bright red as his traitorous brain took the word 'couple' and immediately reminded him that they'd technically kissed now.

It was just a schoolboy peck on the cheek but he still felt heat flood his cheeks as he surreptitiously glanced at Zim, trying to assess what the Irken thought of such a comment.

Zim, on the other hand, ever oblivious, was glaring at Ixane, hardly fazed by her typical brand of teasing him. At this point she'd said much worse to him in regards to his relationship to Dib and he merely took the comment at face value. He folded his arms slowly, neatly, across his chest. His spine was ridged as a ruler, an unimpressed frown on his lips. "We were just fine thanks." Zim hissed, sliding over smoothly to allow Yin into the booth, somehow keeping his balance and arms crossed as he moved, "Until someone took our victory and started accusing us of failure."

"Oh, so what?!" Ixane snapped back, not quiet as cucumber cool as Zim but equally livid, "A little comment from the bad lady and it's chaos in the ranks?! Grow up!" She looked away with a hiss of irritation and added, "We both know you got pissed and took it out on poor Sparkles. Some boyfriend you are, that's abuse, you know?"

Before Dib could find it in himself to get more embarrassed than he already was, Zim exploded, his face bright purple, his words so full of rage the human couldn't help but wonder if Ixane had been making those types of jokes often.

"WE'RE NOT INTIMATE!" Zim snarled back, startling Dib terribly at the suddenly explosive outburst. The Irken threw his arms down by his sides and hunched his shoulders in a way that suggested he might launch himself at the woman at any moment.

Dib's ears burnt at the slightly too aggressive denial and he tried to keep his thoughts off how he was going to explain away the latest mess he'd made for himself, or what would happen if the Doctor caught wind of it.

"Ok, enough." Lard Nar snapped, lightly smacking the table between them and giving each such a look that each shied away with varying degrees of embarrassment, their anger still quietly fizzling as they silently blamed the other for angering the Vortian. "We don't have time for this!" He turned towards Zim, trying to get things back on track, asking, "You said she's fact checking, what do you mean by that?"

Zim frowned, he leaned slightly against the booth cushion behind him and shifted a bit, "She must've seen something…" He said, frowning. Then he shook his head, "No." He made a 'tsk'ing noise with the tip of his tongue and folded his arms, "It's just a theory. Zim has no evidence to support it, we should continue with the facts for now and once those are laid out it might be a little clearer. You may even strengthen my theory… or disprove it..."

"Fair enough." Yin nodded, their bright, bulbous black eyes fixated on Ixane, clearly expecting something. Dib shivered slightly, his only interaction with Yin back when they were in male form, and the ambiguous candor of their whispering voices both fascinated and unnerved him. He wondered what it might be like to be so non-binary, but figured, where Yin was from, that it wasn't so much an oddity but a normality.

Ixane caught the Nurse's expectant look and scoffed, "Yeah, yeah." She snapped, quickly downing the last of her first drink and pulling the second one close, starting in on that one too. Yin surreptitiously signaled the bartender to start preparing another one as Ixane spat, "Give a gal a zlarfing minute, I'm collecting myself."

"Sure, that's what you're doing." Zim sniffed disdainfully, eyeing his drink.

Ixane slammed her palms down on the table, half rising so she could lean viciously towards the Irken, "You got something to say Princess?"

"Oh-hoh." Zim clucked with an impatient flick of his tongue, leaning in slightly to rise to Ixane's bait, "I've got plenty."

"Zim… please…" Lard Nar sighed, rubbing his temples to alleviate the beginnings of a headache.

The Irken pursed his lips and scooted his drink cup across the table at that, intense desire to please his brother battling his want to protect him. He wanted to ask, but he could wait. "…Zim will behave…" He finally managed after a tense moment, but in that moment, Ixane had begun to internally panic.

Because what if Zim knew something? About Elaine or the mission or something he was holding back? He'd said as much already, after all, about his 'theory'.

It would be a decision she'd quickly regret, but Ixane none-the-less found herself fixated on whatever stupid goad Zim wanted to say. She suddenly needed to hear it. Perhaps it was her own intense desire to procrastinate, perhaps she felt the familiarity of arguing with Zim might make things seem normal, might help her forget what needed to be said.

What had happened.

But for some reason, even though Zim had taken the rare opportunity to back down – which should have warned her the issue was more serious – before she could think to retort, Ixane found herself already responding, "Behave, will you? Hah. That'd be one for the history books. Someone get me a camera so we can record this momentous occasion!"

"Ixane." Lard Nar hissed quietly, his eyes narrowing. "We have more important things to-"

"That's it!" Zim interrupted, slamming his cup on the table. Lard Nar opened his mouth to smooth the situation over, but the Irken aggressively 'shushed' him, like an old, salty librarian.

"Whu- I neve-"

"Nu-uh, Nar. This'll take a minute," Zim turned to Ixane, glaring, and jerked his head towards the Vortian, asking, "Why's he covered in fresh blood?"

"Are you serious?" Ixane growled, "You've got problems when your memory's worse than mine," She snarled, clearly not at all embarrassed to implicate herself as an alcoholic, or the issues it caused, "You stabbed him remember? Gee, here's a novel thought: Maybe it's because he has a gaping hole in his shoulder?"

"Ixane…" Yin warned with a sigh, their facial fringes beginning to twitch and morph an irritated orange. They didn't need this whole thing starting up again, especially not when Ixane had so much she needed to explain about Elaine and was already mentally frayed.

"Yes, yes." Zim said impatiently, acting strangely calm for once as he let Yin know he was fine. "Zim had a breakdown, it's fine, it happens."

"…says you…" Dib muttered petulantly as he remembered how 'fine' it had been.

"Quiet." Zim hissed furiously at Dib before returning his attention to the Doctor. "I am quiet aware of his injury, Doctor." His eyes flashed a menacing shade of red and he pointed accusatorily at Lard Nar, "Except that isn't my wound! This one's fresh."

"Pfft, still your wound…" Ixane muttered with a roll of her eyes, because, obviously, Nar wouldn't even be bleeding if he hadn't had a wound to open in the first place! Really this still circled back to the Irken. Not ready to admit any kind of fault, however, Ixane crossed her arms and asked rather defensively, "How do you even know it's fresh?"

"I smelled it on him earlier." Zim said simply. Then he stumbled over his words slightly at the second part, seemingly embarrassed as he elaborated, "Y-you know. When we…uh… "

"Hugged?" Yin supplied helpfully, to which Zim nodded. Then he slunk down in the booth, crossing his arms, like a pouty kid, as if he were a schoolchild waiting for the 'cool kids' to tear him apart for still looking up to his big brother. Luckily, no one had time to comment on Zim's embarrassment, because Lard Nar interrupted with a humiliation of his own.

"W-excuse me?" Lard Nar turned a bright, vivid blue and seemed to hunch in on himself, "You smelled it on me?"

"Yeah." Zim shrugged, nonplussed, as if he were talking about the weather, "And I can tell it's new. Maybe 30 minutes since it was spilt."

Lard Nar stared at Zim, uncomprehendingly, then asked, rather dubiously, "You can smell the relative age of my blood?" He pulled at the collar of his shirt, still flustered, and gave it a little sniff, asking sheepishly, "Do I offend?"

"Do you…? No! You smell fine!" Zim frowned at Lard Nar, seeing he still looked a bit embarrassed, and rolled his eyes, "It's fine." He assured, huffing and readjusting himself in his seat, "And what, you didn't know that?" He mused, "It's a common Irken trait. Helps assess enemies' weaknesses and all that, I didn't think it needed explanation."

"I knew your antenna were sensitive but…" The Vortian shook himself from his musing, saying louder, "Alright, fine this is obviously my oversight." He said sarcastically with a flippant wave of his hand. Because how very like Zim to just assume general knowledge. Then his face grew a little more serious, an impish need to test this hidden talent awakening in him, "Can you tell who at this table is injured then?"

"Zim feels you are missing the po-"

"Can you?"

Zim gave a world weary sigh, deciding it was faster to just indulge his Captain and said, "Fine, besides obviously myself, Dib and you - which essentially makes this exercise pointless - Yin has a faint scent about them, probably a paper cut, and Ixane forgot to wipe some of your blood off when she patched you up."

"Correct." Yin murmured, removing their glove and showing off a small band aide placed between their thumb and forefinger.

"Wait, where?" Ixane asked suspiciously, lifting her arms to inspect herself once she saw that Zim had been right about Yin.

"I don't know." Zim snapped, "Zim isn't some tracking beast! Try your elbow, you never roll your sleeves up high enough."

Ixane paused, frowning at Zim through narrowed eyes like she wanted to make some comment. Then she held up a silent finger, signaling them to wait, and began wiggling in her seat to remove her jacket. The booth was a little cramped and she ended up hitting Dib in the face with an empty sleeve.

"Ow!" He snapped irritably, but Ixane wasn't listening. Instead she held up her left elbow, where a tiny smear of blood sat, muttering, "Holy shit, he's right."

Lard Nar turned towards Zim with a fond sort of irritation and deadpanned, "You realize this information would have been useful in countless situations, correct?"

"Well sorry." Zim snapped, "I thought it was common knowledge. What is Zim supposed to do, write you a list of common Irken functions?!"

"In light of this revelation, yes, actually. That would be quite helpful."

"Alright, enough." Zim snapped, pointing at the Vortian and hissing, "Nice try sidetracking me, Nar. But Zim knows something happened. You can't fool me, your blood is fresh." He crossed his arms, looking expectantly at the smaller man, "Before we get to anything else, I want to know why, when you came in contact with no aggressive enemies, you somehow reinjured yourself."

"Zim, this might be a conversation for another time…" Yin piped up sagely, their eyes flicking between Ixane and Lard Nar, but the Irken wasn't about to let it go.

For those who knew the Captain, he was incredibly stubborn and loathe to take breaks; a workaholic by nature. It was for that reason that he was also obsessed with taking care of himself when he'd been forced to take medical leave. Half of Zim and Lard Nar's joint medicine cabinet was full of supplements and herbal teas the Captain took daily to prevent even the cellular zygote of illness from infecting him.

He hated the additional heal time a re-injury would cost him and he typically went to extreme, sometimes impractical, efforts not to damage preexisting wounds, even when he was pushing himself. So the Vortian opening up a wound was already rare enough, but for him to do so on the ship when he hadn't faced a single enemy?

No.

Something had happened, and Zim wanted to know what before the issue was swept away in the hubbub of the debrief, never to be heard of again from a too-prepared Captain who would have cultivated multiple excuses by the time Zim could ask him privately.

Now that he'd asked, Zim was getting an answer.

"Now is the perfect time." He snapped, his eyes narrowing on Ixane, honing in on her as the one at fault from Yin's quick glance towards her. He jerked his chin up, growling, "What'd you do?"

"Oh, so it's my fault!?" Ixane hissed back, "Let's not give him any responsibility for his continual flouting of proper after care, shall we? Because surely, as his Doctor, it was my zlarfing decision that he escaped Med Bay and decided to stalk me about like a demented puppy."

Lard Nar sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nasal ridge, willing himself not to let his full exasperation show. "Officers, please." He began wearily, but he could feel himself slouching into the booth as he accepted he had no real power over them at the moment. So much had happened, the stress and blood loss making it impossible for him to keep the weariness and irritation from his voice. He turned towards Zim, trying to make the Irken understand, "She's right. I was the one who decided to get involved when I should have been resting. It led to a bit of bickering, as it always does. Really, Zim, I'm fine so what does it matter anyway? Can we please move on?"

"You didn't say it wasn't her fault." Zim countered suspiciously.

Lard Nar was always quick to take blame, constantly believing himself to be at fault if anything went wrong on the ship. The annoying trait was something he constantly claimed was 'befitting a Captain'.

That meant Lard Nar didn't believe himself to be at fault, not entirely anyway, and that in and of itself was also rather suspicious.

"Ok, fine, Zim. It wasn't Ixane's fault." Lard Nar reiterated with a touch of irritation, but he didn't go on to explain whose fault it was or to insinuate the fault was his own.

Zim didn't back down, his eyes narrowing in suspicion, "Then whose fault was it?"

"No one's! Look, Zim, I simply lost my temper, alright, I am absolutely fi-" Lard Nar froze, his eyes widening slightly as he realized his mistake. He cursed his carelessness and blamed it on a lack of rest.

"So much for moving on…" Yin muttered dryly, drumming their fingers on the table, physically feeling the Zim's rage at the comment and wincing internally.

Because Lard Nar didn't 'lose his temper'.

Period.

Lard Nar had a varying scale for his more negative emotions and a set amount of phrases to sugar coat them, and 'lost my temper'?

Happened to be Red Alert.

'A touch irritated' was his go to phrase for the normal range of anger he felt but never showed. If he'd truly 'lost his temper' then he'd have said he'd 'gotten a bit excitable' or that he 'just forgot to breathe for a spot, but felt much better really'.

'Lost my temper' was a top tier emotional catastrophe, where, had Nar been anyone else, someone not accustomed to keeping their cool, the phrase typically meant absolutely livid or on the verge of a mental breakdown. It meant that whatever had been done or said had shaken him at the core.

The last time Lard Nar had 'lost his temper' was when he'd watched his brother die and decided to embark on a revenge quest to murder Zim.

So suffice it to say such a casual slip up was not going to be overlooked.

Yin dryly took a sip of their drink and watched the whole thing unfold with a detached sort of curiosity. They knew it'd come down to this, the bickering, the drama because, really, when was this group not dramatic? The Nurse knew the second Ixane touched their ungloved hand, telepathically transmitting her inner turmoil, that shit was about to go down.

Might as well enjoy the show.

Yin watched as Lard Nar immediately tried to backtrack, explain that he'd lost it for only a split second, it hadn't been a big deal, but Zim was hearing absolutely none of it. He'd rounded on Ixane immediately, his hand smashing into the table in such a sudden show of aggression that Dib, who had no idea such an innocent comment had such vast meaning, yelped in surprise.

"Zim!" He squeaked, startled, as he watched the Irken punch a fucking hole into the wood. Only Yin, who had felt Zim's anger and picked up their scotch, managed to save their drink from the destruction on that side of the table. Dib, who was Zim's other neighbor on that side of the booth, wiped a big splash of his toppled milk from his face, growling, "What the hell-"

"What did you say to him?" The Commander demanded of Ixane in a deceptively calm voice, rising ominously to his feet and leaning over the table. He paid the sullen Dib no attention, so an apology was out of the question. Zim was too focused on the Doctor, not letting Ixane out of his sight, his face eerily serene.

Lard Nar, feeling slightly guilty for causing the hubbub, handed Dib a tissue to wipe away the drink residue, which he accepted sullenly.

"My apologies." The Vortian whispered.

"I don't care." Dib spat back, in a tone that clearly said, control your child.

Ixane, meanwhile, crossed her arms and looked away quickly, the closest thing to embarrassment Zim had ever seen on the woman, hidden behind a grimace, "What makes you think I said anything?" She asked petulantly, but by her crossed arms rather than irritated gulping of drink it was more than apparent she was hiding something.

The Irken leaned in very close, so close that, had their obvious hatred not been apparent, someone might have mistaken them as lovers. He whispered sweetly in her hearing slit, "I will rip your intestines out of your mouth."

"Zim!" Lard Nar gasped, appalled, not used to such graphic threats - mere proof that Ixane and Zim saved their best retorts for when he wasn't around. "Whoa, no! You cannot-" He was about to reprimand the Irken, Dib glaring at him all the while, when Ixane's hand swept up, signaling to the Vortian that she could handle this. She swept up to her feet, leaning towards Zim as well and making everyone sitting in their shadow vaguely fear for their safety.

After all, Zim and Ixane weren't shy on trading physical jabs in addition to verbal ones.

"That threat works better the other way around, Princess." She sneered, "It's 'I'll rip your tongue out your ass.'" She placed a hand on his chest and yanked him closer, hissing sweetly, "You ever say that to me again and I'll give you a first hand demonstration why that is."

"Zim is open to whichever is the best way to inflict pain." The Irken deadpanned, not at all perturbed by her little threat. He gave her a sharp-toothed smile, "Now, what did you do."

Ixane shoved him away with a huff, plopping down into her seat with a little 'plaf' of air from the booth's cushions. She crossed her arms, having the decency to look slightly abashed, and said, "I was freaking out, ok?" She snapped, irritated that her quest to rile Zim had only left her riled and twice as nervous to explain what was going on.

What had happened.

She didn't know how to broach the subject, so she decided to start with the least offensive thing she'd done, mumbling, "And I may or may not have threatened his nana." Which was true and kept them far from the more triggering aspects of the fight.

"You threatened his grandmother?" Dib gasped, appalled, looking at Ixane as if she ate puppies as a hobby, "What is wrong with you?! Isn't she like a billion years old?!"

"She's five hundred and fifty four and still very much in her prime, thank you." Lard Nar interjected irritably, giving Dib a look.

"Holy crap, so she is." Dib gasped, fascinated by the wide range of longevity out here. Zim smacked him lightly on the head, alerting the human to his rudeness. He blushed sheepishly and murmured an apology, but the Vortian still seemed vaguely annoyed by the comment, muttering, "Well, you're lucky she didn't hear you."

"It's fine, Sparkles." Ixane smirked at him, "She's as old as the hills and twice as dusty."

"You haven't even met her!" Lard Nar protested, obviously opposed to the sudden prevalence of Nanny bashing and not at all ok with it.

"Yeah, well, a granny's a granny, right?" Ixane asked with a shrug.

"Please." Zim snapped, "Had you actually met her, you would know she is not 'just a granny'. And our Captain certainly would not 'lose his temper'" Zim air quoted that, 'lose his temper', "Just because you threatened Nana Nar."

"Nana Nar?!" Ixane gasped, she glared at Lard Nar and swept her hands towards Zim, clearly irritated and expecting the Vortian do something, "What the ever living fuck?! Why does this zlarfing idiot have a nickname for her?!"

"It's not a nickname you arrogant, ear splicing argrimat'ol! That's her name and title!" Zim snapped, smacking his palm onto the table and jutting out his chin.

"I'm sorry… I just…" Ixane held up a finger, seemingly needing a moment. She turned towards Lard Nar and exclaimed, completely baffled, "You… you're named after your grandmother?"

"It's a very good name, I'll have you know." Lard Nar sniffed defensively, the kids from more socially gendered cultures had always picked on him for having a girl's name so the edge to his voice came out unintentionally conditioned.

Really.

There was no such thing as a 'girl's name or 'boy's name, he couldn't fathom why so many cultures felt the incessant need to label and impose gender values on everything. Gender didn't even exist outside a social construct and nowadays an ever-increasing number of species actually had more than two biological sexes!

It was perhaps this internal rant that prompted Lard Nar to justify his name more, explaining, "It's from an old Vortian folk tale, and it means 'unbreakable'."

"Really, now?" Ixane asked, forgetting her anger and seeming genuinely interested. She slumped back down in her seat, "Huh. Which story?" Before Lard Nar could answer, however, she remembered the other half of Zim's jab and said, "Wait a minute, what do you mean 'if I'd met her'?" Then, with a dawning understanding, "Have you met her?!"

"Of course Zim has!" Zim snarled back, "I have been to several horrible dinners at their house!" He snapped furiously, throwing his hands in the air, positively seething.

"Lovely." Lard Nar corrected calmly, taking a sip of his tea, "The word is lovely."

Zim resolutely ignored that assertion, continuing his previously interrupted thought, "Where exactly did you think Nar and I stayed when we were starting the resistance?! Irk! It's not like we just loaded up his Diver and went out and bought an illegal Vortian ship with which to start our little rebellion!"

Ixane paused, a big frown on her face, and she turned to glare at Nar. "Hey." She snarled, pointing between herself and Zim, "Him or me. Who's better?"

"Er… Excuse me?" The Vortian asked slowly, uncomprehending.

Ixane slammed her fist on the table, startling the small man terribly. She had an absolutely awful smile twisting it's way up her lips where it sat on her face, twitching, as if she found something funny. "You said I couldn't meet her because I'd scare her." She spat, her voice grating gravel, "What the hell?!" She threw hands into the air, decrying the travesty, "You brought Zim over when you didn't even know him! If I'm getting this right, it sounds like you brought him over in the beginning. You know… when you still thought he was a brother murderer at the time?! And yet I'm the scary one?!"

"Well… Zim actually is my brother…" Lard Nar said sheepishly, raising his hands in defense and cringing at the mention of Kern, "And to be fair, we'd of course cleared up that whole 'murderer' thing before he visited… er… multiple… times…"

"For several lovely dinners." Zim chimed in with a grump, sarcasm dripping from the word 'lovely'. Lard Nar shot him a look at that, knowing he said it only to rile the doctor.

And it worked.

"Explain." She positively seethed, rage oozing from her every pore.

"I don't know!" The Vortian gasped, throwing his hands in the air, "You haven't asked to see my Nana since before I really knew you. A renegade black market doctor isn't exactly someone I'd be rushing to show her right off the bat!" He cleared his throat, flushing a bit, and said, "If I'm being completely candid, you scared me a bit back then." He frowned, taking in the Aquartian's enraged expression and elaborating, "Honestly, you're scaring me a bit now…" This seemed to only further enrage the woman and he quickly backpedaled, "Of course now I trust you! 100%! If you'd like to meet her, by all means, we'll go the next shore leave! I'm sure you'd love her."

"Zim loved her." The Irken said snarkily, not at all helping and watching Ixane's irritation like the little troll he was.

Ixane's eyes narrowed to slits and she crossed her arms moodily. She kept her eyes fixed on Zim as she spat, "Whatever, Nar. Do what you want."

Sensing the end of the tirade, Zim moved to steer the conversation back to his initial question. He banged the poor table, which had had just about enough from the rowdy group, "And what of Zim's wants?" He asked shrewdly, "Because Zim knows Nar did not loose his temper just because you threatened his Nana. You did something else. Now," He finally sank back into his seat, glaring between Ixane and Nar, "What. Was it. About?"

"It wasn't about anything!" Lard Nar threw his hands up in exasperation, scarcely believing they were still on the topic when there was actual work to get done. Not to mention, he didn't exactly want more attention drawn to himself now that Ixane was in an even worse mood. He frowned, wondering how much 'go sleep on the couch' time he'd earned from her for apparently withholding his Nana from her. How was he supposed to know she'd wanted to meet her? She hadn't asked in nearly four years! "Look, really it was nothing. It was just stress! A tongue and cheek argument! Nothing more!"

Lard Nar sighed, placing a hand to his temple, unable to keep up with the asinine conversation anymore, "Look, Zim, I understand you wish to help but I'd really rather-"

"Eldereth." Ixane spat, crossing her arms easily and meeting the Vortian's shocked, incredulous expression with a cucumber cool, self-satisfied expression of her own. "It was about Eldereth."

"Really?!" The Vortian hissed, furious.

"What?" She asked, shrugging nonchalantly, still slightly bitter about the Nana thing, Lard Nar was sure, "He's not gunna stop until he gets an answer, might as well tell him." Then her smile turned malicious and she said, "Hey, you probably don't have to explain jack squat, he probably knows all about her. He's met your Nana, after all."

Yep.

There it was.

Lard Nar dropped his hand into his head, wondering exactly what he'd done to deserve all of this. He peaked up hesitantly to see how the Irken was taking it and, as predicted, it was not pretty.

To say Zim exploded would be an understatement.

He became the living embodiment of Hiroshima.

"YOU SAID WHAT ABOUT WHO?!" Zim raged.

He spat harsh words and venom at Ixane with all the fever and animosity of a vengeful god, his barbs a thousand times more poisonous than snake venom, because what the hell did Ixane even know about that. She had no right to even utter the woman's name.

Of course, Ixane was no saint herself, and as Zim prodded and screamed at her, she roared to her feet like a newly awakened bear; dead set on tearing Zim a new one regardless of if she was technically at fault or not. "You wanna go, you overgrown lizard? Let's GO!"

Lard Nar couldn't be bothered to take notice of them, his hearing suddenly beginning to ring with alarming intensity that he wasn't sure was stress or the recent transfusion of meekrob blood. He forced himself to take a sip of his drink, glad he'd ordered an herbal tea instead of black, and tried to settle his stomach.

"The ship?" Dib asked curiously, watching Ixane and Zim curse at each other and not at all certain why 'Eldereth' was a trigger word. It was the ship's name after all, so why was it such a sensitive topic?

Lard Nar went absolutely ridged, horror welling up as he realize that he was not just with Zim and Ixane. His eyes dilated slightly and his breath came out in a flutter of panic because he did not need to explain this now, and certainly not in front of Dib or Yin who knew nothing of his shortcomings. "My ex, actually…" He corrected, feeling his face heat up in humiliation that Dib had instantly recognized her name as the ship's, because great, sensational, that was all he needed. For the entire ship to know that he, their strong, unwavering Captain, had named his Vessel after his ex.

Could there be a more glaring beacon for incompetence? For a petty inability to move on?

How utterly pathetic.

So much for 'unbreakable'.

The tiny Vortian slid down in his seat, too caught up in the turmoil the mere mentioning of her name gave him. As though it were a bad omen, a he-who-should-not-be-named type of curse weaved into the word, it's mere utterance enough to make his heart go from one to sixty in seconds, his hands clammy with anxiety.

Lard Nar was so distracted he hadn't even noticed the titanous clash between Ixane and Zim until the entire table crashed to the ground. It had already taken so much abuse up until that point, it simply crumbled as the pair began punctuating their sentences with punches to the wood.

"HEY!" The bartender on duty, a small, incredibly purple woman with six eyes, looked up from the glasses she polished between four hands and snarled, "I don't care if you're the top dogs or not! Don't trash the bar!"

"Terribly sorry!"

"Sorry!"

Lard Nar and Dib called back, both blushing furiously over the atrocious behavior of their counterparts. They quickly took hold of the pair, Lard Nar grabbing Ixane's coat and Dib using Zim's injury against him, and steered them out the door and into the hall where, predictably, the fight continued as though it had never been interrupted.

"You don't even know what you're talking about!" Ixane was raging just as Yin, who had stayed in to pay and properly apologize, met them outside the bar.

"I was there." Zim snarled, his voice distorting under rage and something more tender. He shoulders shook and he balled up his fist, spitting, "She called him an Irken sympathizer. If I hadn't been there… if he hadn't done so much for me after Kern… I…"

"No." Lard Nar cut in, stomping his foot fiercely to draw their attention, his hoof clicking sharply against the tile, his voice suddenly fierce. He forced himself to take a deep breath as all eyes focused on him, murmuring, "Zim, regardless of how she acted, we made the right decision and you are not at fault for that." He sighed, adding, "As for Eldereth… well, there is only one real person at fault for that, now isn't there? I made her a promise when I was a certain kind of man… I cannot fault her when I returned so changed she couldn't even recognize my old self. Ah, thank you." He cut himself off to accept a mug of tea that Yin had brought out with them. Clearly they had sensed the Vortian's mounting distress, and he gratefully accepted the small comfort.

"You were grieving." Zim snarled, indignant, a terrible part of him wanting to slap the tea from the Captain's hand so he would stop fiddling with it and listen.

"It doesn't matter. I wasn't the man she'd promised herself to." Lard Nar sniffed, took a quick sip of his drink to test the temperature and shrugged, "That's that."

"Nar…"

"That's that." He reiterated, looking up from the brim of his tea mug to give Zim a look. "Look. Both of you. As much as I adore your consistent poking and prodding of a moment I can not begin to articulate my desire to forget, I am fully capable of eventually mending it on my own. I would really, truly like it if we could just forget the whole thing and move on. Please." Unable to set the cup down, he squared his shoulders and gestured wonkily towards Ixane in what would have been a grand, sweeping gesture had his free arm not been in a sling, "I believe it's your turn."

"Hey." Ixane said seriously, glaring at the Vortian and not taking his sad sack act, "Ok, yes, I shot my big mouth off but I'm not wrong here Nar." She snapped. She got down on her knees so she could make eye contact with the Vortian, taking his tea away and handing it to Yin again. For a split second the Captain feared what she might say, and was pleasantly surprised that she decided to let her rare soft side show for a second. "Yeah, ok, the whole threat thing was poor judgment, but that chick ain't worth jack squat and you need to stop defending her! The vow is for better or worse. Bitch didn't read the fine print and that's her fault not yours."

"Well… thank you for that… colorful encouragement…" Lard Nar sighed, patting the top of the hand she'd placed on his shoulder to show his acceptance of the pseudo apology and absolutely refusing to comment on the content of it.

Ixane flipped her hand over and caught his, giving it a quick squeeze, "I mean it." She snapped, locking gazes with his and suddenly overwhelming the Vortian with her presence. He could feel his face grow hot as she gave his hand another squeeze and said, "You're a catch, you hear? Don't let her get to you."

Lard Nar realized, perhaps a bit belatedly, that the whole reason she'd given Yin his tea was to hold his hand.

"O-oh." Lard Nar said, a little weakly, from surprise more than anything else.

Was there a protocol for taking romantic advice about your ex-fiancée from your romantically platonic, divorced friend with benefits who you happened to be unprofessionally interested in? Could he shout out 'line' and someone would have a pre-prepared romantic-comedy type quip to make this horribly awkward situation go away? Some two ships passing in the night, I-know-you're-just-trying-to-help-but-oh-god-you're-too-close-and-are-just-confusing-me type quip?

Lard Nar stared dumbly at the way their hands intertwined, feeling his brain suddenly short circuit.

After waiting a moment too long, he extracted his hand with an awkward little cough, staring furtively towards his cup of tea, wishing he were still holding it. "Thank you Doctor…" He muttered, embarrassed and trying desperately not to show it. He wasn't quiet sure how he was supposed to respond, especially with everyone watching, so he decided to go with a change of topic, "If you don't mind Doctor, you can being your debrief."

Crap.

He'd called her 'doctor' twice in one response. That was overly formal, wasn't it?

Weird.

He took his tea back rather hastily and took a too large gulp to stop himself from saying anything else.

She had to have noticed.

Ixane's brows furrowed and she gave him a confused, you-ok-there-champ? sort of frown before thankfully letting the matter slide, "Right back to work, eh?" She stood up, dusting her pants as she did so, "Zlarfing shit Nar, you're a sunny act to follow."

"I try." Lard Nar replied weakly, focusing more on his tea but managing to give her the best smile he could muster. He needed to focus, not retain ridiculous, school-boy fantasies about his Chief Medical Officer for Twin's sake! Besides, Ixane needed his support, not objectification right now. After all…

She still needed to brief them on Elaine.

"Alright. Moving on, since we've got the stage set with Tak and her lovely demands…" Ixane began crassly, "We need to talk about the hostage situation."

"Hostage situation?" Dib asked, confused, his finger darting back and forth, pointing between himself and Zim.

"Stop that," The Irken hissed, smacking the hand out of his face, "She obviously doesn't mean us. We're right here."

"O-oh, right…" Dib muttered lamely, scratching at his chin, "I just thought, what with the bombs and what not…"

"It seems in this matter you are both correct." Yin interrupted the pair, startling them terribly, as the Nurse had been actively watching and not participating up until this point. They nodded towards Ixane and said, "If you'll let the Doctor continue, I'm sure you'll understand shortly."

"Right." Ixane looked up and down the hallway, then, with a heaving sigh, she muttered, "We need to do this is private."

A vicious smile cut up Zim's face, "Oh really?"

"Yes." Ixane glared at him, obviously bothered by something. She took a step towards him, hissing, "If you touch anything…"

"Oh, Zim would never~…"

"Um…" Dib interrupted. He had to. "Am I missing something?"

"Ixane's living quarters are the closest." Yin explained, with a shrug. Then they turned towards the Acting Captain, offering, "If you'd like, we can use my quarters. I am right next door, after all, I don't think you had time to clean up today…"

"It's fine Yin." Ixane spat, rolling her eyes, "Kinda a moot point now. Let 'em see or whatever."

"Uh… I'm still a little lost?" Dib asked, wondering what it was that Ixane hadn't 'cleaned up' that had suddenly become 'moot'.

The Doctor scoffed, smacking Dib lightly over the head, "Just follow me Sparkles." She snapped, taking up point and leading them down the corridor's leftmost branch, "And for the love of Golbart's tight little ass, don't touch anything."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

When Yin had mentioned Ixane hadn't had time to 'clean up', Dib would have been lying if he hadn't expected a ton of empty bottles.

And there were bottles, but it wasn't what he'd expected.

Toppled across almost every surface sat mason jars or vials of some kind filled with various strange looking herbs and creatures. Dib baulked as he notice that one of them even had what looked like eyes while another held something that glowed like fireflies.

The display was worthy of a China town medicine shop and shelves upon shelves of the stuff stretched up long bookcases that lined most of the room. In the one section of wall that didn't have a bookshelf covering it, sat a large desk of unknown color – unknown because it was so buried in papers, Dib almost didn't see the black computer sitting atop it until he squinted. Several of the books had fallen, or been kicked open across the desk and most of what covered it seemed messy notes and a few spilled jars.

The line of notes was so unruly, it spilled over the desk across the floor, where they spread across a good section of walking space and amassed again on a small coffee table that was surrounded by a couch and some chairs in the middle of the room. It was a rather strange set up, the sitting room being the epicenter of her wall-lined workspace, and as consequence the couches seemed to have most of the book mess.

Ixane was in the middle of spouting a half assed, not actually apologetic apology as she and the other began to pile the papers from the couch onto the coffee table so they could sit.

Dib headed towards the couch and chairs with the others. He heard a crunch of paper and, with a frown, as he looked down to shake off the hitchhiker, his eye caught sight of something. An upturned picture sat, face down, on the small end table next to the lamp. It was in a position that looked like it could be easily picked up and reached when reclining on the couch – perhaps something the Doctor liked to look at when she did so? But then why turn it over? Could it be something she only looked at when she drank? Some sore spot to brood over?

His inner investigator awakened, Dib flipped over the picture, just so, peaking at it before Ixane could catch him. It was an old picture, he could tell that much instantly, from the young, beaming woman that looked out the frame. The girl was obviously Aquartian and there was a quality to her bright, pastel blue skin that seemed to glow; a healthy sheen not normally seen on the doctor, and the deep purple bags under her eyes were nonexistent.

And yet.

There was a quality to her face, and edge to that blissful smile that looked sharp enough for the sarcastic sneers Dib was used to seeing.

Was this…

This was Ixane, wasn't it?

Weird… it was like she was a completely different person. She looked so… happy. In her arms she held two things; a document of some kind, and a small swaddled bundle, clutched fiercely to her chest. She stood in front of a large, white building that protruded from a massive waterfall in a triangular arch. Rather than a lawn, the whole place was surrounded by more water, the only way to and from the building seemingly the massive stone bridge on which she stood. The document she was clutching has a matching cluster of letters as those plastered across the building and Dib wondered with a jolt if this might be one of those 'baby's first house'-type photos. That is, if the swaddled bundle was anything to go on.

Next to Ixane was a tall, lean figure dressed in all black. Their hands were in their pockets and their body seemed to be leaning away from Ixane and the baby, as if they were tensed to move away the second the picture was snapped. It was the kind of pose you'd expect to accompany a big, painfully false smile, but Dib couldn't tell what they looked like, however, because their face had been cut away and folded down.

Curiously, not ripped off.

If Dib simply took it out of the frame, a brush of his thumb over the edge would easily reveal the face. He squinted, noticing that the edge looked a little worn, as if maybe someone did just that rather often. Before Dib could think that this was a really terrible idea, his need-to-know already had him reaching for the tiny lock at the top of the frame.

He felt a hand grab his shoulder.

"Dib."

The human cringed as he felt the hand tighten painfully, breath peppering his neck and sending ominous chills up his spine. He felt Ixane lean around him, her eye catching sight of what he was looking at, the picture. She sighed and stepped back, following the others to the small sitting space without another word.

No one else had eve noticed.

He set down the picture frame and slowly, cautiously turned around. His palms felt sweaty and his heart was clamoring terribly – why hadn't she read him the riot act? He quickly, and rather shakily, took his seat, resolving not to look at anything else in the room, ignoring the various knickknacks surrounding the otherwise undecorated space. He shuffled to a free spot near Yin and sat down, shaking his foot to get rid of a stray paper that still clung to him.

"Yeah, sorry." Ixane said again, not very apologetically, with a shrug once everyone had sat down. She sat in the main chair, looking at the four sitting snugly on the couch. "I was working on something last night but… it didn't turn out right…"

"What was it for?" Lard Nar asked, with a frown.

Ixane looked over towards the buried desk, frowning. After a moment she slapped her leg and stood up, heading over to grab something from it, "Well…" She began, shuffling through papers on the desk, "This is as good a segue as I'm gunna get." She found the paper she was looking for, ran her fingers over the smooth plastic once, and then came and sat down on the couch. "Best way I guess is just to out and say it. Tak's got Elaine."

"Or so we think." Lard Nar reminded, turning to the table and saying, "She mentioned some deal with Ixane's ex where she 'borrowed' Elaine but, other than her word we have no evidence. However, considering what she has done to you both, Zim, Dib, we intend to take this threat seriously until we have more to go on."

"Oh we've got plenty to go on." Ixane interrupted, running her fingers over the plastic page in her hand. "Look, I… haven't been entirely honest with you."

"Oh here we go!" Zim growled with a roll of his eyes, crossing his arms huffily and falling back into the couch. Because of course it had to be Ixane's bratty little smeet and of course she'd lied about it. "About damn time you tell him about your stupid letter or whatever. Do you know how hard it has been to keep it from him?! Every day, since we got back from Zelia, 'oh Zim, the horrid medical drone seems off, know anything about that?' It's exhausting."

"I-it wasn't every day…" Lard Nar protested weakly, blushing faintly. After she'd blown up at him the morning after Zelia, he admitted that he'd been concerned, but really. It was to be expected of a Captain to worry over his crew!

"Oh yes it was!" Zim argued, making the Vortian wish he could disappear, "Sometimes several times a day! Tallest Ixane, you're lucky he didn't catch on that I knew something because Zim would not lie for you. Omission was treacherous enough, do you expect me to become a traitor for you!?"

Ixane glared at Zim until he'd finished his little 'moment' and she growled, "So sorry asking you to keep your damn mouth shut was so zlarfing hard for widdle old you. Next time I'll try extra hard to not cause any trouble like you, Zim."

The Irken flushed and got a little quiet at that, and then regained momentum. He sniffed rather stiffly and jutted his chin up, saying prissily, "See that you do."

"That's it." Ixane snapped, slapping her leg and about to jump to her feet when she felt Lard Nar grab her wrist.

"Deep breaths." He said.

"I don't need-"

"Ixane."

The woman gave the man a livid look and then began aggressively inhaling and exhaling, so much so Dib wondered vaguely if she'd hurt herself. Satisfied, Lard Nar turned to Zim and snapped, "You know, it would be nice if we could ever make it past the introduction of a topic without you starting something."

"Me?!" Zim gasped, appalled that Nar would even suggest he was a trouble maker, and he turned away from the man with a huff, sulking. Yin patted him gently on the shoulder, which seemed to mollify him slightly.

"Alright, moving on." Ixane snapped, giving up on the breathing thing and just going for it because she was crap at explaining stuff and didn't want to deal. "Look. I know Tak has Elaine because I've never gotten a letter from my daughter." She jutted her chin up, challenging the aghast expressions around her and she prattled on, "That's zlarfing right. Not one. Glaaarp's a Shadow Broker, ok? She's got a network back home and they tail Elaine when they can and give me location updates. And don't start Nar," She snapped, seeing the look on the other man's face and not in the mood for a lecture, "I know it's not exactly the best way to keep tabs. Shitty mom award goes to me, I'm so proud and all that." Then she muttered a little quieter, "That's why I haven't dissolved those contacts. I can't. Ain't got no other way to watch Elaine."

She sighed, scratching at her chin thoughtfully, and mused, "The reason I wigged out after the Markets… well, Aquartian minors aren't allowed to leave planet. Period. It's got to do with biology, development of the lungs and all that, making sure they're properly amphibious before entering a mostly dry galaxy and all that Jazz." Ixane shook her head like it didn't matter. "Point is, I don't know much, but I know my girl's only fifteen, too young to leave planet. And I… Glaaarp's last report placed her somewhere in the Delta cluster." Everyone knew Aquartus lay in the Beta cluster and an awkward silence permeated the room. Ixane looked at Nar and gave him a little half frown, "I didn't really mean to wig out on you, but it kinda drives me nuts… constantly filling in the gaps… I don't really know anything and it zlarfing sucks."

"Understandable." Lard Nar nodded empathetically. He looked down at his hands, too embarrassed to reach out and give her the sympathetic touch she needed, and hating himself for it. He shook his head and looked back to Ixane, sighing, "But I'm afraid it doesn't quiet answer it all."

"No." Ixane agreed. She gave him a half smile and gave the paper she held a little wave. "But this does. You know what I did get right before this Tak fiasco? This letter. From Elaine. Actually from Elaine. From an internal server on the ship."

"You don't mean…"

"Yeah, I was afraid to mention it at first, getting an internal letter was freaky enough but one that claimed to be actually from my kid?" She shook her head, "I wasn't really sure until Zim and Spleenk found out about Tak bugging our systems and then it all kinda started to make a weird kinda sense, you know?" She shrugged, frowning, "I'm sorry to say I don't know much about my girl, but if she's useful to Tak or whatever, she's probably pretty smart. Maybe smart enough to hack a system and send a message. Trouble is, I can't verify whether or not it's form Elaine, since I got no experience, and I can't really tell what it says either."

"What do you mean?" Zim asked, suddenly perking up and leaning forward.

Ixane handed him the letter, frowning, "It's gibberish, is what I mean." Then she looked at Nar and said, "I know it's not much, but it to weird to say that I can just tell it legitimate?"

"What makes you so sure?" Lard Nar asked curiously.

Ixane didn't have much of a response for that so, knowing how chessy and froo-froo it must sound, she shrugged and sighed, "I dunno. Intuition?"

"Hey, isn't this a code?"

Ixane and Lard Nar looked over at the sound of Dib's voice to see the human, leaning over a very affronted Zim's shoulder, was reading the letter. He was jabbing at the letter, pointing to something and ignoring the way Zim was glaring at him and then the Irken saw what he was pointing to and he leaned back towards the human, sharing the paper with a, "Huh."

"What?" Ixane snapped, jumping up and running around the back of the couch so she could look over their shoulders too. Lard Nar begrudgingly followed, too small to look over the couch, he hoisted himself up onto Zim's lap where the Irken made an annoyed sound before allowing it.

"Look." Dib said pointing at the letter, "This phrase 'absolutely negate, eradicate,'... People don't usually talk so cryptically, especially if you have no history of correspondence, it doesn't make sense for your daughter to write like this. There's also no benefit to Tak doing this so I'm inclined to believe it might be real and some sort of code."

"'Course it's real." Ixane hissed, offended her instincts weren't good enough for Dib to believe the letter's validity. She and Lard Nar looked curiously over the paper. The Vortian was delighted to see Zim was projecting a holographic version of the text below the letter, the Aquartian spelled in English writing with an English translation. Despite Zim's unwillingness to share the paper, he still wanted to include Dib.

Thank goodness.

They were finally getting along.

Zim read the note aloud, knowing Yin was not the kind to hang off of him to see the paper like the others.

"Mom,

I found I can absolutely negate, eradicate, several careless atrocities perpetuating every finite Irken network. Despite my endeavors, all the troublemakers here eventually get abducted. Leave Aquartius.

-Elaine"

"And exactly what part it a code?" Ixane asked sourly, annoyed that he'd gotten her hopes up. There wasn't anything here she hadn't already seen.

"I was just making an observation." Dib shrugged, "I can't speak Aquartian or whatever, and the message will probably be in that. I'll give you a couple codes to try and you can see what turns up."

"Great." Ixane huffed, returning to her seat and flopping down with a huff. She gestured towards her messed up desk. "Cuz I haven't tried that yet."

Dib shrugged, "Well, that's the best we've got so far." He pulled the paper from Zim's hands, holding it up to the light and squinting. When he saw nothing else, he handed it back to her, sighing, "Sorry."

"It's quiet alright, Dib." Lard Nar said, "It's a worthwhile observation, we'll look into it more. The important thing is that we know about the civilian's involvement and, for now, she seems to be well."

"Except now she's who knows where with zlarfing robo-Tak and that Jack-wad!" Ixane snarled throwing her hands into the air.

"Robo-Tak?" Dib asked curiously.

Lard Nar shrugged, supplying, "Tak didn't personally visit us. She sent the Planet Jacker and an android version of herself."

"Wait." Zim said, suddenly perking up, "Did you say Tak came in an android? Do you know if it was hollow? Like maybe a liquefied body could fit in it?"

"What the… what kind of horror are you cooking up, you weirdo?" Ixane asked, her face betraying her utter disgust, "Liquefied body?"

"Yes, she did, but I don't know if it was hollow or not." Lard Nar, ever the one to keep them on track, added to the doctor's outburst.

"Thank you." Zim said, stressing the word as he turned and glared at Ixane, clearly indicating to her that this was the proper response. Then he frowned and tapped a claw against his lips, taking a moment to process, "Hmmm… if only you could have confirmed it was hollow… everything would click with one last fact…"

"Commander." Lard Nar said patiently, watching the way the Irken chewed the claw of his thumb, pondering. The Vortian sighed, prompting Zim softly when he continued to mumble, "Care to elaborate?"

"Yeah Zim, spit it out, share with the rest of the class." Ixane cut in with an irritated sneer.

Zim was too lost in thought to rise to the woman's bait, and he murmured, a little louder, "I may be formulating a hypothesis on a peculiarity, but nothing particularly aiding… just… something that's been bothering me…"

"Bothering you?" Dib asked, and his eyes widened, remembering back on the ship how Zim had gone quiet and pensive for a long time after encountering a certain creature. "You mean the goo thing?"

"Ah, r-right." Zim said, looking towards the human sheepishly when he realized Dib had said it three times in an attempt to get his attention. He forced himself to concentrate more fully on the human, "Yes, that. It doesn't make sense for the Empire to waste such a prime resource… unless… unless they have a surplus…"

"A surplus of what?" Ixane snapped, annoyed that Zim's response to 'share with the class' amounted to 'whisper in a corner with Sparkles'. "A little details would be nice."

Zim and Dib traded glances, the Irken's bordering on extreme skepticism and Dib's on crazed enthusiasm, like he'd just figure out a puzzle. Apparently the human had figured out where Zim was going and agreed, because his voiced came out a little too happy as they spouted, "Sugar."

"Sugar?" Lard Nar asked nervously. "I certainly hope not. A surplus of sugar for them spells disaster for the universe."

"Yes." Zim said, pointing to Lard Nar, "But here's the interesting thing…" The Irken began, trailing off with a mischievous little smirk, "What if the sugar is a Tallest level secret?"

Dib's eyebrow's wrinkled and he pointed towards Zim, frowning, "I'm sorry, that is not where I thought you were going. I mean, what about the goo creature? And Tak's androids? Huh? Forget about that? Because I thought you were-"

"Yes, Dib-let." Zim hissed, turning towards Dib and smashing his hand on the coffee table in irritation, ignoring Ixane's 'watch it!' in complaint, "Zim was just getting to that."

"Well then?" Dib demanded, not at all understanding Zim's art of storytelling and flair for the dramatic. The Irken wanted to strangle him, but never the less continued irritably when Dib prompted, "Get to it then!"

"Fine." Zim hissed, giving the human a serious look and snarling, "Do not interrupt Zim again."

"Ok, ok." Dib said, shrugging helplessly, "I got it. It's your story, go ahead."

Zim narrowed his eyes at the human, making sure he truly would not interrupt, before he turned his gaze back on the table. He ignored the bemused smirked held by Lard Nar and Ixane, and forced himself to focus on the matter at hand, "Look. Zim hates to admit it, but I understand Tak's… process in a way." He began with a frown, "She gathers all information she can before making a decision or starting a conquest. And a Tallest level data port is the only Computational Tier that would allow uninhibited views of the Empire's history. All of it." He gave Lard Nar a look here, watched the man's fist's ball into small fists and his lip tighten. He understood what that meant, real records of everything that had happened to them. Proof of the Empire's treachery - better documentation to support the Resistance than they could have ever hoped.

Maybe Tak's mission wouldn't be a complete waste. She could help them get evidence more crucial and damning than they ever could through the Political Plan all on their own.

Zim nodded, and continued, "For Tak to have decided she needs access to such information is big. She saw something big and it made her doubt the Empire."

"Doubt the Empire?" Lard Nar said with a small laugh, "Tak?" He shrugged helplessly, picking up his drink and shaking his head, "Yes, you can get under he skin rather well, but I doubt your words inspired her so." He said, referring to how Zim had let the ball drop back on Earth and told Tak of his and Lard Nar's involvement several Tallest level conspiracies and assassinations.

"It wasn't me." Zim denied quickly, shaking his head as though the idea were too absurd, his whole face puckered under the unpleasant thought, "Perhaps she started looking initially under Zim's… unfortunate lapse in judgment."

"You mean running your big mouth?" Ixane deadpanned, crossing her arms with a sneer.

Zim exploded.

"HEY! Zim would love to see how you buy time in the face of a certain death whe-"

"Ok Zim." Yin interrupted, their facial fringes tinged orange in slight irritation. The Psychedelia was projecting a vague aura of calm to allow Zim to step away from his anger. They watched Zim sigh and sit back down sullenly, before saying, "Let's continue, shall we?"

Lard Nar turned to Yin, muttering under his breath with a half laugh, "Remind me why I don't always have you mediating?"

"Because deep down," Yin said with a smile, "You like the drama."

"This." Ixane spouted, hearing the jab and agreeing whole-heartedly.

Lard Nar simply shrugged, a can't be helped little smirk on his lips as he turned back to Zim, letting the Irken know they were quite done now. "Go on, Commander."

Zim bristled, clearly annoyed he'd lost momentum, and continued, "It all just seems to match. You see, Tak wouldn't do something drastic like this unless she had found some pretty intense proof that something" He looked towards Dib, saying, "And we found something on the ship, a creature of sorts."

He gaze turned expectant and Dib shied away marginally, squeaking, "What? I'm being good! See? Not interrupting!"

"You said you understood my thought line regarding the creature, do you want to debrief it or not?" Zim spat irritably, ignoring the proud papa look Lard Nar was aggressively sending his way, clearly delighted that the Irken was taking a mentoring moment by allowing the young Ensign to participate.

"O-oh." Dib said, sending the table a nervous glance before gathering himself. "R-right, ok. So, we found a weird creature." The human began, casting Zim a quick glance before picking up momentum, reiterating what he remembered the Irken telling him on the ship, for his audience's benefits, "Tak's ship wasn't a regular ship, you see, it was an abandoned smeetery." He caught the Irken's nod of encouragement and continued, "Now, the weird this is that smeeteries don't operate far from the Masses, so Tak obviously stole it. Which is weird, because black market types usually used those ships for things like organ farms or as sites of illegal, genetic experimentation. For Tak to come in a threaten you guys and then just fuck right off," He blushed, took a deep breath to calm himself and report in a professional way.

"I mean, uh, for her to just abandon something like that is weird, considering all the non-Empire sanctioned illegalities that happen in them. And it really doesn't make sense for her to leave behind her own experiment if she were using it." He paused, eyes furrowing, "Which brings us to the most concerning part. I said Zim and I found a creature on the ship. Now weird thing is, it moved like an aggressive sort of amoeba, like it was definitely alive." He frowned, looked at the other officers and said, "It was also made out of sugar. Zim and I confirmed it." He frowned slightly at the memory and continued, "And if Tak left it that meant she didn't care about it, so somebody else made it."

Furrowed eyebones and frowns greeted Dib at this revelation, so he continued, "I don't know about you, but it strikes me as a little odd that a Warden Elite would abandon both a smeetery and roughly 70 pounds of sugar during a so-called 'fuel shortage' unless she knew something pretty disturbing."

"How'd you know it was sugar?" Ixane interrupted, feeling the mood was getting a little too heavy and deciding to push Sparkles' buttons. From the grin on her face she'd clearly just seen the way Dib had fidgeted when he'd said that 'Zim and I confirmed it'. Like a shark to blood, Ixane instantly pounced on what she sense was the perfect opportunity to mess with Sparkles.

If the kid was to learn how to properly debrief, with this crazy crew, he needed to handle distractions.

Plus it was fun.

Dib glanced over at Zim with a shrewd expression, and muttered, "This psycho's first action when we killed it was to taste it."

Zim shrugged, not at all apologetic, "I was confirming what I thought I smelled."

"No!" Dib sighed, exasperated, "You can't just… I mean… just no Zim. No."

Ixane smiled clearly delighted by the human's irritation and now purposefully stirring the pot. "Hold up Dib." She said, raising a finger as if to pause the thought, "You're not the kind to take Zim's word for it." She smiled that shark-like grin of hers, "So I'll say again, how did you know it was sugar?"

Dib flushed bright crimson and he looked down at his hands, mumbling something.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Ixane asked.

"…Itriedittoo…" He mumbled once again, loud enough to be barely audible.

Ixane's smile sharpened. "One more time please." She goaded.

"I said I tried it too!" Dib exploded, "HAPPY?!" He threw his hands into the air, raging, "And it was awful! It was warm and slimy and why would you even think of doing that?!" He turned to Zim, raining child-hit along the side of his arm, and concerning the Irken, who thought Dib was seriously trying to hit him and wondering if he was broken, "I had to do it because of YOU!"

Then Dib pinched the bridge of his nose, took a deep breath, and released it with an exasperated sigh. His ears a delightful shade of pink, "And don't you start." He snapped at Ixane, "Ok, yes, it was a stupid way to confirm it but that's all we had at the time, ok? We're fully aware of the, like, medical repercussions of eating weird monster body parts and it was just a stupid, knee-jerk decision."

"Good." Ixane purred, "As long as you know I won't treat self-poisoning."

"We got it." Dib snapped, ignoring the fact that Zim looked very much like he didn't get it and would happy continue eating pond scum and what-have-you if the mood ever struck him; his face very much screwed up in a you-can't-tell-me-what-to-do pout.

The human rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Moving on." He coughed, cleared his throat, "We discovered that the monster was made of sugar, the most efficient fuel source known to Irken, so efficient that even the manufactured stuff lead to the creation of ships like The Massive." Lard Nar sat forward a little, impressed that Dib knew that much when no one on the Resisty had told him much of the history behind the Empire.

Dib sat forward with a little smirk. Obviously he'd been keeping up with news sources on his own, and was very well prepared to tie in the case with recent happenings. Lard Nar wondered where Dib had obtained such knowledge when he didn't seem to know any alien writing systems. "We know an ounce of the stuff is enough to keep an Irken's Pak fully charged for over a week. Yet Tak willingly left roughly seventy pounds of sugar behind, estimated as per the goo-monster thing we found. Which leads to the question… If they have an excess of sugar, why hide it?"

Dib shook his head as though something wasn't adding up, "There should be banners coming out for an Operation Doom III or they should be taking some action, rallying the Masses around such a resource, as there would be no other favorable time. Yet, publically, the Empire has been claiming a 'fuel shortage' despite having turned my home world into a manufacturing plant."

"She works at the plant…" He mused, crossing his arms and nodding sagely, "So she has to know at least enough to know the fuel shortage is bullshit." Dib asserted, "So she must've seen something even more shocking, perhaps discovered something that made her wonder what the Tallest might really be up to. Something that made her willing to leave behind all that sugar and ask her enemies for help… and I think that 'something' is the good monster."

"Living sugar could, theoretically, produce sugar. Like a cow." Ixane piped up, her face puckering under the implications, as though she'd chewed on a bad lemon, "How could that ever be a bad thing in Tak's mind?"

"Oh, it's not." Zim said, quickly, "But it is a threat. I mean, an android… well, it's the natural improvement to a cyborg, isn't it?"

"What?" Lard Nar asked, horror flickering across his features, "You don't mean…"

"You said Tak came as a working android, correct?" Zim asked, jumping in to help Dib now that they were on territory he wasn't sure the human knew of, "The Empire has been working on the potential for android soldiers since my race took to the stars. The only issue they've come across is the fuel aspect… and Zim finds it very had to believe both an android and a living sugar creature sharing a smeetery is a coincidence." Zim said very seriously. Then he shrugged, "Despite what my race claims, we really aren't looking to be 'upgraded'. After all, the natural improvement would mean erasing what an 'Irken' is." He shrugged helplessly, as if lamenting his race's arrogance, "As much as we hate to admit it, it is our organic side's cooperation with machine that makes us unique but… It also makes us rather… 'error prone' in the face of our natural mechanical evolution."

"Which means," Dib continued ominously, understanding blossoming, "That the Empire might be willing to sacrifice the Masses, risk a fuel shortage, if they are close to finally having their perfect army."

Zim nodded, adding to the human's statement by clarifying, "It's just a theory and I hardly have enough facts to back it up…" He looked at Nar and said, "Considering the few facts we know of Tak… Well, it seems to me that she's stumbled upon the whole 'super solider' scheme the Empire's always dreamt of and she did not like the results." He shrugged, "I wouldn't have believed it when I was a smeet, that our Tallest could plan something like this, but considering those facts and our own little history with the Empire… well, Zim deems it not to be the most insane of theories. At least, it might be good to proceed with this idea for now, since it's the closest one we have to connecting the fact's we've gathered."

Lard Nar frowned, steepleing his fingers and muttering, "It certainly is a rather far reaching theory, but not without it's appeal… After all, it could explain why they chose to export all that equipment from Gamma Fringe Space. It bothered me that they were keeping such a thing quiet, when it could easy act as a deterrent and intimidation towards rebel survivors like ourselves."

Pieces started to fall into place, snapping snuggly into blanks the Vortian had drawn and connecting previously derailed trains of thought. It may be mostly speculation at this point, there were plenty of holes, but this theory seemed to answer more than any other one they'd developed thus far. Not to mention… he'd felt the twinge in the pit of his stomach, stirring his gut instinct, as Zim had explained.

There was something about this theory.

He pursed his lips, mulling through the possibilities, then he nodded, accepting the working theory for the moment, "I have to admit that would certainly rattle Tak into action. Surely we would seem infantile in comparison to the possibility, and it could explain why she chose to enlist out help." He frowned, "But then, wouldn't there be more missing Irken reports or War Losses? I'd imagine once they have a working android they'd be eager to test it. And it doesn't explain why she chose to use it herself."

"Of course, there couldn't be any merit in sending an empty message husk into your enemies' lair." Zim rolled his eyes, embarrassing Nar for not think of that. Of course, if it was without repercussion to herself, Tak would use any advantage. "Besides, they can't just suddenly start to cull the Irken population." Zim mused, apparently not at all seeing the horror in his words that caused Yin to frown, "This would have to be done slowly, over many generations, in order for the Irken philosophy to reflect a kind of acceptance. We- er- they may do anything for their Tallest, but it is only because they are thought to be the strongest warriors, the most like those told of in the old teachings. We're still part organic, we still hold things akin to 'belief' and there are still many old ways of thought that permeate the Masses. Zim doubts anyone would be so willing to spit on Gyx Üllyoovm that they would willingly destroy their natural body so androids might inherit their culture."

"Gy… guh- spit on what?" Dib asked, trying and failing to pronounce 'Gyx Üllyoovm'.

"Not important." Zim said, sounding vaguely annoyed as he promised to 'explain later' to get Dib to stop pouting. "What's important is that most Irkens, without careful, lengthily exposure, would reject this plan."

Understanding lit Ixane's eyes, "And Tak's finding out about it a couple millennial too early! She's still duty bound to protect the Empire and she sees this as a destruction of it, right?" Zim nodded, spurning to doctor to clap her hands together in excitement, "Zlarfing shit if this is enough to rattle Tak, imagine what we could do if that info went public!"

"The Empire would tear itself apart from the inside out!" Lard Nar exclaimed, equally delighted.

Could it be possible?

From such overwhelming tragedy and back luck, could they really be on their way to achieving everything they'd set out to do? It was almost too good to be true.

"Provided this is true. We won't know for sure until we can check the computers at the Gala." Zim reminded them, warning them to not get their hopes up.

But it didn't matter, because it was a silver lining in dark, dismal sea. No one could resist grabbing onto it, their resolves strengthening and their pride swelling.

They were going to do this.

For better, or worse.

Hooooraaaaay! Hope ya'll liked, please R&R if you did/have comments/critiques and I hope to update soon! Thanks for reading! :D