Chapter Twenty One

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled

Florence and the Machine – Dog Days Are Over

Cass was quiet, unusually so. She had been all the way through the examination he had given her with the scanner. Usually there was a smile, a laugh or a joke but instead there was nothing but silence. She was regressing into herself. When he spoke to her he thought she wasn't really listening , she was reliving her time in The Cave. Every noise she made in response to his conversation had been non committal but he kept talking. Sometimes that helped with victims of trauma. He didn't know what had happened off world but he knew it was something debilitating.

She had come here with the Major and Carson had seen the unrest within her the minute he'd laid eyes upon her. Carson had never seen such a softness to the other man before today. His gaze when he looked at Cass was tender, his touch was supportive and affectionate as he hovered closely at her side. His hazel eyes were suspicious and inquisitive, seeking and searching out threats to his lover. Hyper vigilance, Carson thought, the Major had been in a heightened state of awareness the whole entire time he had been here.

Carson had seen his reluctance to leave. It had been in the way he wavered for a second too long as he exited the Infirmary. He had cupped Cass's face between his hands and placed a feather light, butterfly kiss upon her forehead before whispered something against her lips. Carson had had to turn away at that instant, he felt he was witnessing an intimate moment between the two of them, something so deeply personal that he should not be a part of it.

It was after that Cass had shut down. She had gone through the scanner without another word as she examined her radiation levels and declared her safe. It was when she had stripped off her flak jacket in order to shrug on her lab coat that he saw the bruising starting to form upon her throat.

"Cass?" he murmured.

Cass glanced up at the sound of her name as she fixed the collar of her lab coat. Her sapphire eyes met Carson's vivid blue and he could see that she was back again, back in the present with him.

"I'm fine." she said with a small smile.

"Are you?" Carson questioned. "I mean really are you?"

"I am now." Cass told him, shoving her hands in her pockets. "There were just a few things that I needed to work through."

Carson crossed his arms over his chest before he leaned back against his desk.

"So do you wanna talk about that?" he said gesturing to her throat.

"I feel like all I've done is talk about it." Cass reeled off the list whilst counting on her fingertips. "Teyla, John, Elizabeth, Ford by proxy. It was humiliating the first two times and now it's kinda numbing."

"I'm guessing the Major didn't take that too well." Carson told her with a grimace.

Cass tilted her head from side to side in indecision. She knew John wanted to rip Sergi's head off for even touching her. She found she liked that in a way, having someone care about her so much someone who wanted to defend her honour. She had seen the way his knuckles had turned white as he gripped the steering column. He was her Commanding Officer, he had needed to know the information at hand, to know what the Genii were capable of. She's watched as the Major had taken control once more and instead of the biting, sharp remarks she had expected there had been nothing but a strained cold silence as John grappled with the raging, primal urges that were banging against the cage he had locked them in.

Cass knew they couldn't afford to throw this possible alliance away because of one Genii's abysmal behaviour. There was no proof that Cowen had ordered Sergi to seduce her but she was very apprehensive about the plan to destroy the Wraith Hive Ship. She wouldn't put it past Cowen to double cross them. He was a dictator, blinded by his own delusions of power. At least that was her view.

"It won't effect the job." Cass told Carson, crossing her own arms over her chest.

To say she was concerned was an understatement but this was just a mission after all and John had survived more dangerous encountered before, the evidence of that was patterned all over his body. He was savvy when it came to the ways of others and he allowed people to underestimate him if it worked to his own advantage. She knew he had kept information from the Genii, she thought it was time for her to take a leaf out of his book and wise up to ventures of others. She'd been trying to build a bridge when she'd offered to check out the Hospital Wing and to provide herself with a distraction against the mounting panic that had started to over come her.

She had seen the apprehension in John's hazel eyes but it was too late by that point. Cowen had already been orchestrating the situation for his own purposes, backtracking would have been an omission of distrust.

"You haven't told him about Afghanistan."

It was a statement more than a question. Carson knew it to be true from the way she turned her face away from him at the mention at the topic. Already he was biting his lower lip in order to stop himself from sighing out loud. Cass may be a whizz out in the field but when it came to love Carson could see she floundered a lot of the time. Emotions were not something that she was used to obeying, she was disciplined and after leaving the military it was hard to get out of that habit. Yet he sensed that wasn't the only reason Cass was holding back. Snippets from conversations with Luke out by the barbecue were coming back to him.

"She had something to come back to." Luke had told Carson nursing the beer bottle in his left hand. "She has a fiancé in San Francisco, someone to take care of her."

By the time she'd applied for the next tour to Afghanistan there hadn't been a man in the picture. She'd told him she was single when he had asked her during the interview.

"The last time I told someone about Afghanistan..." Cass trailed off shaking her head.

"He left you." Carson finished, watching as she pursed her lips and hung her head.

"He wanted me to settle down for a long time before that and he thought what happened was the perfect example of why I should stay at home." Cass submitted into the air between them, rubbing the back of her neck absently. "He wanted me to be the trophy wife, maybe work in the E.R if I really had to. He wasn't prepared to deal with the emotional ramifications of what happened over there. The nightmares were troublesome for him."

A burden was the word that she had omitted from the sentence. She had become a burden upon her previous lover and that made Carson furious. Cass was one of the unsung heroes that didn't get a mention from the bigwigs up top and he couldn't imagine what it would be like to live through something like that only to be rejected once you were back on safe ground.

"We started sleeping in separate rooms and before I knew it he was moving out." Cass ended, distancing herself by playing with the pen that she had picked up from her desk.

"Aye well, he sounds like an idiot letting someone like you go like that." Carson said into the silence that fell between them.

A small smile twitched at Cass's lips as flicked the cap off the pen and then clicked it back on again.

"Yes he was." she murmured before the smile curved into a full, radiant grin. "John's so different, he makes an effort to know other people and embraces their faults. He just makes me laugh so much, I don't think I've ever smiled as much as I have since I've been here Carson."

Cass paused for a second as something seemed to dawn on her for the very first time.

"I'm happy here." she found herself confessing. "This is the happiest I've ever been."

Hey guys! Just a little follow up chapter to the Genii. :p

Shippo: lol wait until you see what Rodney does during the Storm, you'll love him more! I think John's just the right amount of possessive. Sergi may get his comeuppance, he will never let what happened in the last chapter go. Thank you very much for the review.

Brn: This is nothing compared to the Storm! I am glad I made you so emotional! Your review was a amazing to read, it made me grin like a fool. Lol you know what Shep's like, he's furious but duty will always win out. Thankies for the review, I sincerely appreciate it!

KAT: I never liked the Genii either when Cowen was in charge. He well planned universal domination and he was pig headed, the radiation thing makes me want to shake him! Thanks fof a wonderful review.

Lan: LMAO thank you so much for your support, your kind words made me blush a little. Sergi will defo have his revenge but never one to take things lying down. Thanks for such a wonderful review.

Monkey: YOOO! I update a lot so I do not mind if you miss a review or two. I am pretty laid back so no worries I just really appreciate the fact you do review and that they are so fun to read. OHHH you have just given me a wonderful idea! Lol so thankies very much. Lol Cowen always looked sneaky to me and that made me suspicious! Thank you so much for your kind words, your reviews always make me smile!