Chapter 21

Avalanche

Present day

Hawke tore along the road, her feet leaving light prints in the drifts as she ran over the snow. Tears stung her cheeks as the freezing wind bit into her damp skin. Her legs were burning and each breath was causing sharp pains in her chest. She wasn't sure how long she'd been running, but she didn't want to stop just yet.

Her brown, ankle high, boots slipped and slid through the drifts and she stumbled on hidden stumps and branches that were hidden under the blanket of white. But instead of slowing her pace, Hawke forced her legs to move faster, trying and not quite succeeding at pushing unwelcomed memories out of her head.

"Damn. It." she muttered, "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" Her voice grew louder with each syllable and soon she was shouting, "Why am I such a coward!"

Her tears began falling faster as she leapt up and ran along the top of a snowbank, skirting the edge of a large patch of ice on the road. The freezing wind tore at her hair, untying her braid and blowing the strands into her eyes. Hawke's toe caught on a hidden stone and she tumbled down the edge of the bank. Her limbs flailed out and fingers scraped against icy crystals as they tried to find a hold. Her body finally ceased its movement as she hit the ground with a thump. She struggled up, shielding her face from the wind with an outstretched hand and saw a tickle of blood run down her wrist.

You aren't allowed to hurt! She grimaced and wiped the stain off on her pants, think of what Nami's going through right now because of you. You have to go back and take her up there now!

Her lips trembled and shoulders hunched, "But I can't face him," her words were blown away on the wind that stung her face. Stumbling to a stand still, Hawke's knees buckled and she sank to the ground, ignoring the cold and wet that immediately soaked through her jeans. "I'm just a wimp who can't face what I am," she sobbed. Her body folded forward and her hands clenched at her shoulders, "I don't deserve to be on Luffy's crew."

"What makes you say that?"

Hawke was on her feet in the blink of an eye, eyes wide and muscles tense. The wind howled and the snow began falling more heavily, blurring the outlines of the scenery around her. Had she been hearing things? She looked down the road beside her and blinked when she saw someone standing a few feet away in the snow.

"Zoro!?" she gasped, quickly wiping her cheeks, "What are you doing out here?" She looked the swordsman up and down as he stood, shivering violently, before her. "And why are only wearing pants?"

A strange expression passed over Zoro's face. His eyes widened and his cheeks, already flushed from the cold, grew a few shades darker. His arms crossed pincer-like over his bare chest as a frown moved onto his face. "What's it to you?" Zoro snapped through chattering teeth, "And what are you doing out here? Didn't you go with Luffy and the others?"

Hawke hesitated, lowering her face against the wind and cupping her hands around her face. "Yeah," she mumbled, "I went with them to a village, but then…" she trailed off, flicking her gaze upwards and watching as Zoro moved his hands up and down his arms, trying to find warmth.

Shrugging off her winter jacket, she held it out to the swordsman. "Here," she sighed, "Take this."

Zoro stared at the article of clothing for a moment, "Gee, thanks," his tone wasn't very enthusiastic, "But pink's kind of… not my colour."

Hawke couldn't help the corners of her lips turn upwards. "You don't like pink?" she giggled, "Well then don't wear the hood up, the rest is plain white. I've got my jacket, so I'm still pretty warm."

Zoro frowned at the coat, but then took it from her hand and put it on. Hawke caught a slight smile on his lips as the coat slipped around his shoulders and zipped it up, "Well its warm alright," he patted his chest and shot her a smile, "Thanks."

Hawke returned his smile as a sudden warmth rippled through her body, "So what are you doing out here anyway?" she asked, trying to hide the giddy feeling that had burst to life in her chest.

Zoro sent her a curious glance as she fidgeted with the hem of her sleeves. "I was doing some ice water swimming as training," he said, "But then I went too far and lost the ship. I've been trying to find a village, but that old lady I ran into a while ago was no help at all."

Hawke lifted an eyebrow and shivered as a harsh gust of wind blew by, "Old lady?" she asked.

But Zoro shrugged, "What about you?"

Hawke felt her cheeks flush and she dropped her gaze. "W-well, I… umm," she stammered, not knowing what to say, "Luffy and the other's are probably taking Nami up the mountain to see the witch doctor who lives up there."

It was Zoro's turn to lift his eyebrow, but he said nothing. Hawke stared at him, still unwilling to explain, though she was aware that she was comfortable with the swordsman's presence and that she didn't feel like running anymore.

"Why don't we go back to Big Horn village," she suggested, "I'm sure Dalton is still there. He can tell us what's happening."

Zoro nodded and the two turned and began following the dip in the snowy landscape that identified where the road was. Hawke fell into step beside the swordsman and they walked shoulder to shoulder. She found her frantic thoughts were calming down and her previously frantic heartbeat began returning to normal. A cloud of white issued from her lips as she let out her breath and glanced at the man walking in stride beside her. But she found her breath catching in her throat when she met Zoro's gaze and realized he'd been watching her.

"W-what's u-?" she managed to start her question, but her words were cut short when the ground began to shake under their feet.

"What's going on?" Zoro muttered as the trees around them started to sway, "What's all this rumbling?"

Hawke felt the hairs on the back on her neck stand on end as a few small snowballs rolled past her feet and on towards the sea. Her eyes began searching wildly through the snow and trees.

"Oh no," no sooner were the words off her lips, an avalanche of snow roared down from the mountain, engulfing them in its icy grip before either of them could react.

The force of the blow knocked the wind out of Hawke. She wasn't sure which way was up and which way was down. Her body tumbled over and over, snow compacted her on every side and pushed up into her face. She couldn't breathe!

Then all of a sudden, a blinding light greeted her eyes and the space in front of her face was clear. She gasped breath back into her body. The icy air stung her face, but she welcomed it, filling her lungs with as much of it as she could handle. It took a few moments for her body to start listening to her, but she eventually felt pins and needles running along her limbs and then feeling returned. Pulling her arms out of the snow was much harder than she'd thought it would be. But by digging through small areas with her fingers, she managed to free first her arms, then her torso, then her legs. Finally, she flopped down onto the snow and caught her breath. A freshly freezing wind blew across her and Hawke felt a chill on her toes. Looking down, she saw that both her boots had been lost during the avalanche. Great, she groaned as she sat up and looked around, only to be greeted with whiteness, where'd Zoro go?

"Zoro!" she panted, looking around at all the toppled trees and bits of house that littered the snow around her, "Zoro! Where are you?"

She pushed shakily to her feet and stumbled forward, calling out to the swordsman. "Zoro, are you there? Answer me if you can!" She dug through the many mounds of snow surrounding her, but found no trace of the green haired man.

Hawke still her movements when she suddenly heard voices coming over the snow. Standing on her tiptoes, she blinked as she saw Vivi and Usopp walking a few meters ahead of her.

"Hawke-san?" Vivi smiled and ran forward, "You're safe! Oh thank goodness!" Hawke watched as Vivi's expression suddenly changed to one of surprise and she toppled over into the snow. A figure began rising out of the ground where she had stepped; an arm reached upwards, followed by a body.

"Zoro!" Usopp shouted as the swordsman extricated himself from the snow, muttering something about a field of flowers.

"Zoro!" Hawke smiled and ran over to him, pulling him up to a standing position, "I'm so glad you're alright. I was worried when I couldn't find you."

The swordsman gave a shaky laugh as he brushed the snow off his legs. "Well, that was a close one," he chuckled, "Good thing my cold tolerance training seems to have worked." Then he looked over and saw Vivi and Usopp, "Oh, hey Vivi, what's up? What the hell are you guys doing all the way out here in the snow?"

"That's exactly what we were going to ask you?!" both Vivi and Usopp snapped back at him.

Hawke smiled and was about to reply, when a flapping sound suddenly came from over her head and something fell down into her face.

"Ah!" Hawke flailed her arms and pulled whatever it was off of her, "What the hell?" She stared at the object in her hands. A red piece of fabric… with white trim… a coat? "Luffy's coat?!"

Her fingers clenched and she whirled around, "Where did this come from?!" she cried, "Luffy! Where are you? The avalanche…"

"Luffy and Sanji went up the mountain after you ran out," Usopp came over to look at the torn coat, "It's quite possible they got caught up in the avalanche."

Hawke's blood ran cold in her veins. She turned and met the surprised faces of Zoro, Vivi, and Usopp. "Something's happened," she said in a faint voice, "I… I have to… this is all my fault."

Zoro lifted an eyebrow, but Vivi shook her head and gave her a stern glance, "Nothing's your fault, Hawke-san," she said, "We don't even know if they're in danger or not."

But Hawke violently shook her head. This is because you're such a coward! Her mind roared at her, this is your fault! Because you're too scared to show what you really are to these people, Luffy could be dead!

"No!" Hawke shouted, dropping the red coat and tensing her legs, "I'll fix this! I don't care if you guys hate me! I need to save Luffy!"

"Wait, what's going on, Hawke?" she barely heard Usopp's question.

She focused her attention to her back and felt something pushing against the fabric of her leather jacket. The sounds of leather sliding against a softer material drew the others' attention as Hawke hunched her shoulders. She knew what they would be seeing; she'd watched herself in the mirror many times after the operations had been completed. She knew that at first it would look like her jacket was swelling. Then there would be two large, black growths moving through the folds cut into her jacket specifically for them. She felt the lumps growing larger, the skin extending, the bones stretching. Her skin stiffened and cracked, revealing a flurry of black feathers that stuck together in a sleek mass. She heard the feathers rustling as the growths grew, forming themselves into the shape of wings. Hawke watched the expressions of the people standing before her as she showed them what she was for the first time.

Vivi's eyes were wide and her lips were trembling. Usopp had a look of horror etched into his features, his arm was extended and he was pointing at her with a shaking finger. "W-what?! What? What?!" he was shouting. Hawke swallowed the hurt and turned her eyes to Zoro. The swordsman was watching her with a wary gaze, his body was tense and he had positioned himself between her and the others.

They think I'm a monster, she realized, fighting back tears, Now they'll never accept me. She turned, stretching her wings out to their fullest extent. Black feathers rustled as they felt the cold wind and, despite the hurt in her heart, Hawke couldn't wait to take to the air.

Her wings billowed up against the wind, stretching out to three times her body length, and she bent her knees. Her gut was telling her Luffy was in trouble, she needed to hurry.

"I'm sorry," she called over her shoulder as she leapt into the air, "I never meant to hide what I am from you guys. I guess this is goodbye."

And with that, her body rose on the wind. Her wings caught the gusts blowing down from the mountain and she soared high up into the sky, not bothering to look back at the people she was sure she'd never see again.

After I make sure Luffy's alright, I'll leave this crew, she decided, it's probably for the best anyways. It was nice to see Luffy again. I just wish it could've lasted longer.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Luuuuuuffyyyyyyy!" Hawke cupped her hands to her mouth and shouted at the top of her lungs.

She had flown all the way up to the base of the largest of the Drum Rockies and was now circling it, hoping to see some sign of her brother or Sanji or Nami. But all she'd seen on the way here was the damage left by the avalanche, with no sign of her friends. Ex-friends, she reminded herself as she reached the base of the mountain. The snow was blinding and her leather jacket did next to nothing against the harsh winds and well-below freezing temperatures. It had also been a while since she'd felt her feet. She rubbed her blue fingers tips together before soaring upwards alongside the mountain and flying laps around it. The currents generated by the huge, cylindrical structure were extremely hard to navigate and Hawke kept getting caught in a down draft. Her wings flapped desperately to keep her body in the air as her eyes scoured the rocky wall in front of her.

"Luuufffyy!" she cried out, "Where are you?!"

Her ears perked up as she thought she heard a shout come down from the swirling snow above her.

"Luffy," she panted as she beat her wings and struggled upwards, "I'm coming."

Her face became numb as she moved slowly up the tower, circling it fully before climbing higher. Small icicles began forming along the edges of her primary feathers and Hawke had to keep brushing them off, since any added weight in the wrong place would cause her to plummet out of the sky.

The blueness had grown from the tips of her fingers down to her first knuckles before she saw any sign of her brother. Blinking and flying in as close as she dared to the mountain, Hawke could make out systematic holes in the rock, as if someone had punched their way up it. Some were covered in blood. She followed the trail up and up, the ground had long vanished out of sight below her and the snow made it impossible to see farther than three feet upwards. And so she didn't even see it coming when Luffy plummeted out of the sky above her and slid down the mountain.

"Luffy!" Hawke quickly dove down and grabbed his shoulders, but the weight was much more than she'd expected and she beat her wings furiously to stop the rubberboys descent. A trail of blood flowed from his fingertips and toes as they clung to the rocky side of the mountain. Hawke's heart squeezed in her chest as she saw the bloodied and cracked finger nails on the purple hued hands of her brother.

"Hawke," she heard her name and looked down to see Luffy squinting up at her. He could barely speak through his teeth, which were clenched around something black. Hawke looked farther down and saw Sanji dangling from Luffy's mouth by his coat collar.

"Sanji!" she gasped, then saw the girl strapped to Luffy's back, "Nami!" Luffy was carrying both of the up the side of the mountain?!

She quickly grabbed Sanji and let Luffy open his mouth. "I'm so sorry, Luffy," she stammered her apologies, "If only I'd helped out when you asked, then you wouldn't be like this!"

"Hawke," the rubberboy's voice was weak with exhaustion and cold, "We need… doctor…"

The dark haired girl nodded as she threw Sanji over her back and nestled his body between her wings, wrapping his arms around her neck and tying them with his sleeves. "Don't worry, Luffy," she panted, placing her hands under her brother's arms, "I'll get you there."

She heard a grunt from the boy and felt him release his grip on the mountain. The added weight caused them to sink in the air and Hawke struggled to adjust. But slowly, ever so slowly, her wings adapted to the strain and they began to rise.

"Just hang on guys," Hawke panted as she saw the crest of the mountain coming into view above her, "Almost there."

With her hands full, Hawke couldn't brush the icicles off her feathers anymore, and the weight was accumulating more on the right wing, causing a constant right tilt, making her fly in circles up the mountain. But the end was in sight.

Just a little more! Hawke could no longer feel her hands, but she knew that Luffy was still in her arms. She could feel Nami, securely sandwiched between her body and Luffy's, and the slight heat that the navigator gave off due to her fever was probably the reason the frost bite hadn't continued its march up Hawke's arms. Sanji's body remained secure between her wings and Hawke could feel his warm breath on her neck. They're still alive! Just a little more!

Then there was no rock in front of her anymore. Hawke blinked and saw an expanse of white stretching out before her. Then some trees and a large castle came into view.

"We made it," she whispered as her toes brushed against the crust of the snow, though she didn't feel this. She managed to beat her wings twice more, trying to make it to the entrance doors of the castle, but then her body collapsed. She crumpled to the ground and fell onto her side, her vision tunneling as the castle seemed to move farther away. "No," she whispered, "Not yet…" then her vision went black.