Chapter Twenty-One:
The nightmare came on her suddenly, and she found herself gasping for air with a hoarse throat, clawing at the bedcovers desperately. For a moment, she wondered if she might be sick, but the nausea subsided, leaving her trembling in her bed. If she even dreamed of leaving while she was still on bed rest, she knew Laxus would extend her time. Yesterday he had caught her trying to get to the library and given her another day. Despite her protests that it had been several days and she was ready for more than quick trips to the bathroom and one cool bath in the battered metal tub he had procured from somewhere, he was adamant. She was to stay in bed until he released her.
Lucy felt the wetness on her face that meant she was crying, but her dream had been so real…her trembling intensified.
When her door burst open, she shot up into a sitting position and as far into the corner as she could manage. Her hand reached first to her waist and then to the bedside table, looking for her whip, but Laxus had put it somewhere and now she was defenseless…
"Lucy?" the shape said, lightning crackling around him, and she let out a shaky breath as she realized that it was only Laxus. "Are you okay? Is someone here?" His eyes darted around the room, illuminated by his lightning, and she could see his nostrils flaring as he checked for strange scents.
"I'm f-fine," she said, forcing her body to relax and scrubbing her face with her hand. "You just startled me."
He looked at her, eyebrow raised. "There was something else though," he said gently, moving closer to her so he could get a better look. "Up until just a minute ago, you were screaming like a banshee."
Startled, Lucy looked up at him. "I was?" she said, her hand reaching up to touch her hoarse throat. "I didn't realize. Sorry. Um, you can go back to bed now. I'll be fine."
Laxus shook his head stubbornly. "You've broken out in a sweat, I can smell your tears, even if you had been able to hide them, and you are afraid. I'm not leaving until I know you're fine."
With a sigh, Lucy looked towards her shuttered window. "Can I just go look at the stars then?" she asked. "It always calms me down quicker."
When she made her request, Lucy had expected him to open her shutters. Maybe take her down to the first floor where she could sit in the doorway and look at the stars. But what she didn't expect was to be scooped up, blankets and all, and engulfed in crackling lightning.
As the lightning dissipated, she saw that they were on the roof's peak, Laxus leaning against the chimney as he cradled her in his arms. Above them, the stars shone brightly, and Lucy tipped her face up as if the starlight was sunlight.
"You can let me sit on my own," she remarked quietly, eyes tracing the familiar paths in the stars. "I have enough strength for that."
She could feel him shake his head as he said: "I've seen you fall asleep on this roof before, and I'm not going to chance it again. You may sit if you wish, but you're staying within arm's reach."
After helping her arrange herself so that she was straddling the roof and leaning back against his broad chest, Laxus fell into silence as Lucy looked at the stars above them. They were quiet for a long time before he asked: "Do you know all of the names?"
"Yes," Lucy said, tears filling her eyes as she spotted constellations that she had contracted with. "My mother made a game out of it and taught me before she died. And I made my tutors include astronomy lessons so I stayed sharp. It was one of our little secrets from my father."
"Is Loke up there?" Laxus asked curiously, and she could feel him shift to look up at the stars himself.
"Now he is," Lucy said, the thought of her faithful lion causing a sharp pain in her chest. "Before Fantasia though, he was a fallen star. The constellation would have remained, but there would have been no spirit bound to it."
"What does it mean to be a fallen star?"
"It means that he was prohibited from ever returning to the Spirit World. If he had stayed in Earthland for even an hour more, he would have faded away. That's how close it came."
"How did he return then? And why was he banished in the first place?" Laxus's voice rumbled in his chest, and Lucy found herself snuggling back into it, enjoying the warmth.
"Leo's contract was originally held by the Blue Pegasus mage Karen Lillica, but she treated her spirts awfully. He replaced Aries with himself when Karen was trying to punish her, and then told her that he would stay in the human world until she released him and Aries from their contracts. Keeping gates open drains our energy, and since he hadn't come here on his own Karen kept losing magical energy and she wasn't able to summon any of her spirits. This went on for three months, which in and of itself took a huge toll on him, because he can't regenerate energy in our world."
"What happened after three months?" he asked softly.
"Karen died on a mission. One of the Oracion Seis killed her and took the other keys. Because Loke had kept his gate open and drained her energy, he was banished for being responsible for her death. He was supposed to just fade away in the human world, but he lasted for three years. After the war with Phantom Lord…" her voice caught, but she continued on. "He disappeared, quitting the guild and saying strange things, and I finally figured it out after Crux told me that he had been involved in some way with Karen. By the time I got to her grave, where he had gone, he was almost completely gone."
"If he was banished for killing the mage, how is he a spirit now? And why would he be blamed for killing her? It seems as if she brought it upon herself."
"It's taboo for a spirit to be involved in the death of his master," Lucy said softly. "The Spirit King hated to do it, but he banished him. The night he was fading, I tried and tried to force open his gate, but I couldn't. I screamed something about changing the law that had him banished, and then the Spirit King appeared. We talked, and he allowed Loke to return to the Spirit World. At first he wanted to just fade away, because he felt guilty over Karen's death, but the King told him that if he really wanted to repent, he should dedicate himself to me and my line because I had put my own life on the line to save him."
Shock colored Laxus's voice as he said: "How did you do that? I mean, if it was just trying to open his gate…"
She chuckled slightly. "I forced a lot of energy in each attempt to open his gate, plus more in an attempt to keep him from fading. And then when the Spirit King arrived, I opened every gate I had contracted with at the time. That's unheard of for a spirit mage, even in non-combat situations, even though I only could hold the gates for a minute."
"How many spirits did you have then?" Laxus asked incredulously.
"Plue, or Nikola: Canis Minor, Crux, Lyra, Horologium, Sagittarius, Virgo, Cancer, Taurus…" her voice dropped off. "And Aquarius. That's nine spirits, five of them being the more powerful zodiacs."
His amazement was almost tangible as he said: "You opened nine gates, five of them being zodiacs, after trying to force open a gate for a banished spirit as well as attempting to keep him from fading? No wonder you were able to perform your spell the other day. If you had that much power then, you must have even more now."
"I can only summon three zodiacs at a time in battle though," Lucy said, shivering at the memory. "And even then, I nearly passed out because of it. Virgo and Loke had to return not long after because they were wounded. It was…it was the only time I can remember Aquarius actually caring enough about me to not wash me away."
"When was this?" he said, hand absently stroking her hair.
"During the Tartarus battle," she said, feeling the tears begin to burn. "Everyone else was trapped, and it was just me and one of the demons. I had to summon the Spirit King…" she consciously tried to focus her breathing and keep from crying. "After I snapped her key he came and saved them, breaking open the cube that was holding them. And then, after he had gone back, I was facing another one, and he gave me her power to use." She felt an odd smile, that was half grin and half grimace, twitch across her lips. "That was the third time I cast Urano Metria."
"I know I'm not one of your friends," Laxus said, and Lucy looked up at him, but before she could say anything, he kept talking. "But why are you here instead of with them? I was knocked out for the entire battle and I thought that all of you who had fought would be better at comforting each other. Like you and Natsu. You both lost someone…"
"They don't know," Lucy snapped, cutting him off. "I couldn't dump that on him, after he watched his father die after reuniting after all those years. How could I? And Wendy was the same. Levy was helping Gajeel, Erza was dealing with her own problems, and Mira was trying to get Elfman functioning again. He blames himself for the destruction of the guild, even though he was being controlled. Everyone had their own stuff to deal with, and I figured that if I waited a bit, I could probably just deal with it on my own and not have to bother them."
"And you've done a poor job of it," Laxus said, and she twisted in his arms, fury in her eyes. "You came here, and if it weren't for your physical appearance, you would have been unrecognizable because you were hurting so much it was crushing you. Only because you started talking to someone, either me or Mavis have you been starting to cope with this. But you're still having nightmares, if tonight's any indication. Bottling stuff up like this isn't healthy."
"You're one to talk," she hissed, eyes flashing. "You have nightmares too, and I don't see you talking about anything."
"That's because I don't need to," he snapped back at her. "I can handle my own shit without help. You're one of those people who needs other people."
"Everyone needs each other," Lucy insisted, feeling frustrated with the man who sat behind her. "Your grandfather said so, the very first day I was at the guild. Humans are weak, and that's why we need guilds. So we can support each other."
"Tell that to him," he growled, a stray bolt of lightning speeding off into the darkness. "When everyone needed support the most, especially you, he took it away from them."
"He did what he thought was right," Lucy protested, but the lightning dragon slayer ignored her.
"Gramps did what he wanted to do, and didn't care about what was best for everyone. But I'm going to fix that, and I'm going to give everyone back their home."
"What are you going to do?" Lucy asked, wondering how they had gone from talking about fallen stars to the guild.
"I'm going to restart Fairy Tail."