*Levi*

I put my hand on my forehead, rubbing my temples harshly as I continued my fast paced walk away from the mansion. The trees had started to thin, producing houses every so often, and the dirt gave way to cobblestone, signaling that I had made it to town.

I dropped my hand from my forehead and stopped in the middle of the bustling street. People were smiling and laughing, haggling and bickering around me, ignoring my agony as if I were but a stray dog. And honestly, that's all I was. It's all I deserved to be.

I had bitten the hand that cared for me and then run away, not giving my protector the chance to forgive me. Who could forgive a disposable stray, though? Why give me another chance when there was a much more confident, less broken man willing to sweep her off her feet?

Looking around, my eyes fell on a small booth selling brooches and other shiny pieces. I stepped over and the older woman behind the booth smiled at me kindly as I looked at the array of choices, a purple flower necklace immediately drawing my attention.

I spoke with the woman, noting how her wrinkles framed her gentle smile, until I eventually felt a hand on my shoulder. Tucking my hands into my pockets, I turned to find Armin looking from me to the woman.

"At least this time you know you were in the wrong."

His words brought back the shame I had managed to push aside, bringing forth a bubbling anger that seemed to always accompany my guilt as a form of defense. I turned away from the booth and continued walking down the street, Armin following beside me.

"There's such a thing as apologizing." His voice was low, knowing he was suggesting a foreign concept to me. His eyes drifted from me to the cobblestone before him as he walked. "She's going to think you hate her if you keep this up."

"If it wasn't for you fucking asking how I felt about Zoë—" I stopped speaking, clenching my teeth to keep myself from continuing trying to push the blame on someone else. It was no one's fault other than my own. I deserved this shame.

Armin smiled bitter sweetly. "I know you weren't using her as a distraction." His eyes remained forward, looking up to the horizon that was still a couple hours from being colored with the sun's last painting of the day. "I also know that you didn't love her like she loved you."

I observed him as though he were speaking a foreign language because, quite frankly, he was. "If this is your way of showing me pity, I don't want it."

Armin shook his head slightly, his hair falling over his shoulders. It had gotten longer since he had been gone. Strange that I had just noticed. "It's not pity." He met my eyes, worlds of knowledge playing across those intense aquamarine eyes. "I'm trying to help you. It's not like you're going to help yourself."

I sneered at him, feeling like that stray dog that people simply saw as a cruel joke. "I sure as hell don't need your help."

Armin stopped, his smile faded as he looked at me sternly. "Who else do you have?"

I stopped as well, turning to him and staring for a moment.

"Accept it, commander." He sighed and looked behind me to a shop of some sorts. "You lost your confidants when you lost Zoë and Erwin. You can't go on keeping everything to yourself." He was right, of course. "While I don't expect you to give me nearly the same amount of trust, I'm asking you to try to give me a little."

We slowly made our way back to the mansion without a word, and I was grateful that we didn't run into Kelis and Eli. I told myself I would explain what had happened earlier once she returned, but until then I would spend my time in the piano room, perfecting my apology piece.

When the sun started to set, I stepped out onto the balcony for fresh air, pulling out the simple necklace I had bought on a whim. Letting it catch the rays of the fading sun, I held it in my hand and pictured how the silver and amethyst flower might look around Kelis's neck. To me, it seemed like something she might like…something that might bring a smile to her face.

I leaned my elbows on the balcony railing and looked to the end of the path to find Kelis and Eli approaching hand in hand, smiling like the giddy teenagers they were. Feeling that familiar knot of possessiveness, I put the necklace back in my pocket and watched from the balcony which just so happened to be within earshot of the front door.

I ignored most of the words and bumbling idiocy until Eli put a hand on her cheek, then my focus zeroed in on the two and their every word.

"I…" Eli bent closer to her and I wanted to shout when he pressed his lips to hers.

I waited for Kelis to push him away, tell him to stop.

But she didn't.

I could hear nothing other than the blood rushing in my ears. I could see them shyly talking. Happily talking.

Then he kissed her again and my blood cooled, my anger subsided.

I felt numb.

The worst part about feeling numb was that it left me unable to even contemplate whether or not I, the stray dog, was even worthy of her presence. Was I a nuisance?

Eli had turned away and Kelis had run inside.

"Enjoy the view, commander?" Eli looked up to where I was with a soft, almost apologetic smile. "She won't wait for you forever."

I straightened and blinked slowly, unable to even feel anger at his words. "Make her happy." I turned away and walked inside, slowly closing the balcony doors before sitting in front of the piano.

My fingers caressed the keys without pushing them down, an echo of the emotions I held inside: nothingness.

Then, all at once, I was overwhelmed with pain that radiated from the very depths of my soul.

My fingers slammed against the keys in an angry burst of noise, my lungs trying to take in air that seemed to quickly escape the room. "Damn it…" My voice was barely audible over the havoc of discordant noise. "DAMN IT!" I shouted, realizing I had just given my protector, my savior, to someone else.

I felt myself shuddering and looked to my hands to find them shaking before I brought them to my face, looking through my fingers with wild eyes at the ivory keys that had been stained red a lifetime ago. I slouched, tucking my chin, and closed my eyes, allowing my hands to move from my face to the sides of my head as I continued to curse myself for my own stupidity. The nasty pink scars on my wrists, just barely healed were a constant reminder, screamed at me indignantly.

Kelis had saved me.

Not only when I had so recklessly tried to find an escape, but also when I had nowhere else to turn. When I had thought I was alone in this world, she welcomed me with open arms and all I had done in return was throw her kindness in her face.

Eli was right. She wouldn't wait forever. That didn't mean I had to fucking give her away, though. But I had. It was done.

And I was alone again.

The new revelation—my need for her as my protector—came as quite a shock. I respected her, trusted her, and didn't deserve her. I was too broken to trust myself with her.

I stood, letting my trembling hands fall to my side as I walked to the door. Trying to still my trembling, I made my way down stairs in search of Armin in a foolish plea for reassurance.

He was in the kitchen, sitting with Jean, Mikasa, and Kelis as they chattered over dinner. Having yet to notice me, they continued on and I felt a slight twinge at the fact I hadn't been welcomed.

I clenched my fists to stop them from quivering and took a step into the room, their chattering slowly dying as they looked at what probably seemed like a ticking time bomb. My eyes fell on Armin and I refused to look at Kelis. "Arlert, there's urgent matter you and I need to discuss."

Armin's brows furrowed in confusion, waiting for me to give him some kind of hint.

I blinked slowly and licked my dry lips, trying to speak again through the knot in my throat. "Meet me in my study." I turned my head almost imperceptibly towards Kelis, hoping beyond hope that he could read me at least half as well as Zoë had been able to. "And bring tea."

His face relaxed and a ghost of a smile touched his lips before he nodded to me. "Yes, commander."

I turned and silently made my way out into the hall where I waited, unseen, for the group to return to their chatter.

"What the hell was that about?" I heard Jean break the silence.

I could hear the hidden smile in Armin's voice as he spoke. "Probably just a report." Well, he didn't lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either.

I walked to my study and entered silently, feeling about as emotionally stable as wet noodle when I opened the door and stared in to the stale room. I walked behind the desk and sat stiffly, still not able to wash away the bloody memories that accompanied every aspect of the room.

My eyes fell on the damned letter and I was once again hit with just how alone I was. I didn't know how long it would be until I could actually open the letter, but I decided to push forward, picking it up and holding it in my hand. It's lightness in my hands deceived the heavy weight it placed in my heart, but before I had much time to dwell on it, my door slowly opened and Armin stepped in the a cup of steaming tea.

"I'm here for the 'urgent matter' you needed to discuss with me." A small smile played at his lips as he closed the door behind him and walked over to my desk. Setting the tea in front of me, his eyes glanced over the letter before they met mine. His smile had faded and he sighed, taking a seat in one of the chairs facing my desk. "You still haven't opened it?"

I scowled and put the letter back where it had been before, taking my tea and bringing it to my lips. I couldn't seem to hold the scowl, though. I was too hurt.

"I gave her away, Armin." I closed my eyes. "I gave her to that damned golden boy."

Armin was still, waiting for me to go on.

I met his understanding eyes before staring into my tea. My words silently fell into the cup and I couldn't fish them out before they were already too soggy for use, so I just continued to stare at the dark liquid that seemed to mirror my thoughts.

Armin leaned forward in his chair, placing his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on his hands. "You think she'll go to Eli." It wasn't a question, simply an echo of my thoughts coming from another person's lips.

"I have no reason to believe otherwise." I retorted flatly.

Armin heaved a sigh and shook his head with an amused smile. "You're something else, commander." He leaned back in his chair and placed his arms on the armrests, crossing his ankles as he looked at the ceiling. "You were as blind to Zoë as you are to Kelis."

I placed my cup on the polished wood of my desk, looking at him quizzically as I waited for him to continue.

"Explain to me your relation with Kelis."

His words took me aback, so I decided to reply with the obvious. "A subordinate and her commander."

I could swear Armin almost rolled his eyes before he looked at me. "Other than the obvious." There was an unspoken but lighthearted profanity tacked onto the end of the sentence that's brazenness almost made me smile.

My amusement faded as I considered his words. What was she to me? Before I could stop myself, my lips parted and spewed out the nonsense I had been thinking to myself for the large part of a long while. "I'm a stray dog and she's welcoming arms."

"Well," he chuckled. "What an interesting analogy." His amusement remained as he nodded and delved into the depths of my words. "In other words, she is your hope."

I could feel my eyes widen slightly. "Hope." The word tumbled over my lips, such a simple term that held worlds of meaning. But it was a word that hadn't belonged to me for a while.

Kelis was my hope.

Armin's eyes once again shifted to the letter and his amused smile turned somewhat sad. "You should open it soon."

There was a knock at the door, cutting me off from whatever I may have said. A façade of apathy washed over my face, complete with my usual scowl as I spoke. "Come in."

Kelis stepped in, worry written on her face along with about ten other emotions. "It's Mikasa." She breathed. "We really need to talk."