Happiness For H: Something In White

January 23 (later that evening)

Emily watched Horatio across the candlelit table. He had been an attentive dinner companion, but she sensed something serious lurking beneath his easy-going demeanor.

"Would you like some more wine, Emily?" His voice broke in on her thoughts.

"Yes, please." She held out her glass and he poured her some more of the excellent Riesling they had enjoyed with dinner.

"Why don't you go sit by the fire while I clean up here?" Emily started to offer to help and he shook his head.

"You are still recovering sweetheart. Besides, there isn't much. Why don't you go get comfortable and I'll finish up and join you?"

"Okay, but … umm … there isn't a fire," Emily pointed out, suddenly breathless.

"Mmm … I guess I'll have to fix that, won't I?" he said softly. Their eyes met over the rims of their glasses and Emily shivered at the possessive gleam that flashed in those blue eyes.

"Excuse me." He left the table and she listened to the sound of the fireplace screen being moved and logs thumped down on the hearth. Soon she could hear the welcome crackle of flames and she stood up. Her legs felt shaky and she wasn't sure if it was the result of too much wine or the aftereffects of her adventure with Josh.

Horatio turned from the fire to see Emily slowly walking toward him, her bare feet silent on the wood floor. She had dressed for dinner, Horatio's comment that she was beautiful boosting her spirits. Stopping in front of him, she watched as the firelight brought out the ginger highlights in his hair.

'Goodness, he was handsome,' she thought, swaying slightly toward him. 'The man must have had women beating down his door.' Shaking her head, Emily didn't understand what he saw in her.

"Hey there. Are you all right?" He stepped forward, taking her wine glass from her and setting it on the coffee table.

"Just a little shaky," she admitted.

"Let's get you comfortable, hmm?" Emily heard the concern in his voice and saw it reflected in his eyes as he helped her sit down on the sofa.

"I'm really okay," she murmured, wanting more than anything to be held in his arms.

Horatio handed her her wineglass, saying,

"Just a little bit longer sweetheart," leaving Emily wondering if she was that transparent that he was able to tell what she was thinking when it came to him. She watched wide-eyed as he bent and kissed her, then headed toward the dining area.

As he finished the clearing up, Horatio wrestled with telling Emily about the picture locked in his desk drawer. On the one hand, the image no longer haunted him as it had those first few days. It was almost as if it had been wiped from his mind by the search to free her from Josh's clutches. On the other hand, he argued with himself, if he didn't tell her now, he might have to later. He suspected she would be angry if she found out that he had been keeping such a thing from her. Sighing, he blew out the candles on the table and picked up his wineglass, knowing he had to tell her now. On his way back into the living room, he turned the lamp up another notch, bathing the room in it's bright glow.

Emily had been sipping her wine and listening to the soft sounds of Enya's Amarantine CD filtering from the speakers. She watched from under her lashes as Horatio entered the living room, surprised that he turned up the lighting. When he sat down on the sofa, his hands between his knees as he leaned toward her, she sat up a bit straighter.

"I umm … have something to tell you Emily," he began, watching her carefully. "I just don't know how." He looked away from her then, staring at the fire.

'This was it,' she thought sadly. She had been right, he wanted to break off the engagement. Her glass clunked on the table when she went to set it down, her hand shaking visibly. The sound brought his gaze swiftly back to her and just as quickly it slid away again.

Twisting her grandmother's ring on her finger, Emily stared at her hands. She couldn't look at him. If she did, she knew she would start to cry.

'Please get this over quickly,' she begged him silently.

Horatio could feel the tension radiating from Emily and he looked at her bent head. He took a deep breath and said quietly,

"I know my behavior was confusing this week, Emily. I should have told you on Monday, but … I couldn't. It hurt too much." He paused.

"That's okay, Horatio," Emily mumbled, wanting to get this over with so she could have a good cry in the guest room. "I understand. I … " her voice shook, "I don't fit in your world very well." She sniffed and continued, her voice shaking, "You want a wife, not someone who needs a babysitter." She moved to stand up, but was stopped by his hands on her arms.

"Emily, look at me." His voice was deadly serious as he realized she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. Taking a shuddering breath, Emily lifted her head to meet his eyes. He drew in a sharp breath, seeing the long golden lashes wet with tears and her hazel eyes glistening with tears ready to fall. Shaking her head, she whispered,

"Please Horatio. Don't make this any harder than it is. Let me go. You don't have to explain yourself to me." She tried to tug her arms away from his hands.

"Emily, no!" His voice was sharp and her wide eyes flew to meet his brilliant blue gaze.

"YOU don't understand," he told her sharply, watching as the tears began to fall from her eyes. He groaned. This was going very badly indeed.

"Em, I didn't want to make you cry. This isn't what you think," his voice had just a hint of desperation as his thumbs began to gently stroke her forearms where he held her.

"I received something in the mail at the Lab. It was almost a threat. More than likely Josh sent it, but I can't prove it." He saw that he had her attention now, but he could still feel the tenseness in her arms where his hands held her.

"There … there was something else, too." He sighed. Tears were rolling silently down her cheeks, but now he could feel her nails biting into his skin. "It was a picture of you .. and a man. I didn't recognize him. Taken a few years ago, probably." He stopped.

"Horatio, … I told you, I haven't been with anyone else since I met you." She sniffed, trying unsuccessfully to keep the hurt out of her voice. 'Why didn't he believe her?' she wondered.

"Emily, I know that," he said gently, wanting to comfort her, but knowing the hardest part was yet to come. "I think this was taken when you were married. I've never seen a picture of your husband, and the picture only shows the back of the man."

Emily was shaking her head in confusion. "Then why were you so upset?" she wondered aloud, searching his face for a clue to this strange turn in the conversation. He sighed.

"Emily, it's obvious in the photo that you aren't happy. And it's not a photo you would likely want anyone else to see. I'm sure it was sent to hurt me and embarrass you. I couldn't get the photo out of my mind. I didn't want to hurt you or frighten you by telling you about it. But I wasn't doing a very good job of dealing with it, I'm afraid."

Slowly, it was beginning to dawn on Emily what he was saying. She turned pale as a vague recollection of a day spent with Josh and Kevin near the end of their marriage clawed its way to the front of her mind.

"Oh, my …" she couldn't get the words out and simply gave up, staring at a button on his shirt.

"Emily." A shake of her head was her only response.

"Emily, please look at me, sweetheart." She shook her head no, refusing to look at him. Slowly she became aware that he was speaking again.

"Don't let him win, Emily. Josh wanted to keep us apart. I don't intend to let him ruin our chance for a life together, but I need your help, Em. We have to face this together, ok?" His voice was gentle. When he put a finger beneath her chin to raise her face to his, she whispered,

"Ok," her pain-filled eyes finally meeting his. He nodded solemnly and finally gave in to the desire to gather her into his arms. He could feel the tenseness slowly leave her body as he held her close and rocked her, telling her it was ok to cry.

Emily turned her face into his chest and sobbed, clutching his shirt in her hands. All the tensions of the last week slowly left her and eventually she cried herself to sleep in his arms. Not wanting to let her go, Horatio stayed with her there until she stirred hours later. Very carefully he carried her into his bedroom and helped her undress and slip beneath the blanket and sheet.

Emily reached for him, her sleepy voice asking him to stay with her.

Telling her he would be right back, he quickly took care of the locking up. Her eyes followed him as he entered the bedroom, watching silently as he got ready for bed. When he slid in next to her, she reached for him and sighed as he gathered her close into his arms once more. In minutes her steady breathing told him she had slipped off to sleep.

TBC