Chapter Twenty-One

The next morning Lorne woke gradually from a night filled with bittersweet memories. He was fairly certain it had something to do with Alex and whatever she had done, but he couldn't pinpoint it. The last thing he remembered was sensing Alex in his mind. It had been the creepiest feeling ever; and possibly the most mortifying. Evan was a private man, in many ways. He tended not to get too close to people, and kept his past in his past. Sensing she was likely to see more than he would ever want, he retreated into sleep. At least, it felt like sleep. But some things kept playing in his dreams. Some memories, and some raw fears. He didn't have the words to describe it.

Gradually returning to wakefulness was almost something of a wonder. Where before there had been that horrible headache, he suddenly realized he was headache-free. With a huge grin he tried to sit up.

Oh yeah, those, he thought to himself remembering the restraints as they tightened across his chest forcing him back down.

Turning toward the silent guard in the corner, he called cheerfully, "Hey, Soto. Did Alex go back to Atlantis, or is she hanging around here? And where's Colonel Sheppard? I need to…"

Something in the way the man's face twitched almost painfully set off alarms in Lorne's mind.

"Where's Alex?" he asked flatly.

Soto seemed to consider this for a moment. Seeing no harm in answering truthfully, he sighed heavily. "She was bleeding from her head when they took her out of here, sir. She collapsed, and Beckett was saying something about a skull fracture. I haven't heard anything since. Colonel Sheppard went back to Atlantis. I'm expecting him with my relief soon."

Lorne felt the blood drain from his face. "Where's Doctor Beckett?"

"I'm not sure, sir."

"Well, find out," Lorne snapped.

"Yes, sir."

Collapsed…skull fracture… he thought to himself. What if she hadn't survived what happened? What if her mind had been damaged by that damned Wraith queen? His heart pounding, Lorne considered the possibilities. Mixed with the idea of a skull fracture, he was cursing himself silently. He wasn't sure he could live with himself if she—

"Welcome back, Major Lorne," Doctor Knightley called with a brief, but tired smile as she entered the tent.

"Where's Alex?"

Before she could respond, Colonel Sheppard poked his head in. Seeing Knightley, he stepped through the flaps. Ignoring Lorne for a minute, he asked the doctor, "How long has he been awake?"

"Just now, sir," Soto answered.

"Where's Alex?" Lorne demanded again.

"She's—" Knightley started, but was cut off.

"Strapped to a gurney, at the moment," Sheppard cut in, his eyes cold and hard. "Check him over. If he's okay, radio me. I'll be back."

"Sheppard, stop!" Lorne demanded of his CO, but for this one instance didn't give a damn about protocol or chain of command or anything else. Before Sheppard could turn around he said, "For God's sakes! Stick me in a prison cell, ship me off on the Daedalus, fucking execute me. I don't give a damn. Just tell me she's okay."

Seeing the rising panic in Lorne's eyes, Sheppard's sharp green ones softened a bit. "Beckett says she'll be fine, physically."

"Soto said she collapsed. What the hell happened? Please, tell me she's not hurt."

Knightley glared daggers at Sheppard shutting him up. "She's fine, Major. She woke up about an hour after we got her into a med tent and got her sutured up. Just a bump on the head."

Lorne finally relaxed back on the gurney. If Sheppard hadn't known any better, he would have thought the Major was about to cry. Frowning darkly, he stepped out. Time to see Alex.

Knightley glared after the Colonel thinking she was going to use the biggest needle she could find the next time he came in to her infirmary. Then she turned that glare on Lieutenant Soto. Taking a hint, he said he'd be right outside and stepped out. Forcing her expression to a more compassionate one, Rebecca turned toward the Major. He had taken a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart, and was now trying to turn his head far enough back and forth to wipe away the remnants of the few tears that had leaked out onto his pillow.

"Sorry about that, Doctor," he apologized, clearly embarrassed by his outburst. Lorne blamed it on the stress and whatever it was that Wraith bitch had done to him.

"There's nothing to apologize for, Major. She had us all scared witless last night."

"She's really okay?" he asked, still pale, but much more composed.

"Yes. She was mentally and physically intact, and sleeping soundly when Beckett left."

"Well, if Beckett left, then I know she's fine," Lorne replied with a half-hearted smile. "But why the restraints then?"

"We weren't sure. It was Colonel Sheppard's orders. I'm guessing it's because he doesn't trust her after what happened last night."

"What exactly did happen?"

He watched her expressions as she chewed her lower lip prettily, Lorne thought; surprising himself.

"I wasn't here," she finally answered. "But what Beckett described was…disturbing. If you don't remember, it's probably for the best."

Lorne's face went whiter still. "But Alex remembers?"

Rebecca shook her head, making her auburn tresses bounce in a way that under other circumstances Lorne would have loved watching.

"She hasn't said anything, but that would be my assumption."

Major Lorne turned his eyes to the ceiling with a pained expression. There was no telling what she had seen or endured. But he remembered enough of what the queen had been using to try to break him that he didn't need to guess how she felt. He wasn't sure if he should be angry, embarrassed, scared of what the queen had done to him, hurting for Alex, or some combination of all of them and more. Doctor Heightmeyer was going to love this one. He was so wrapped up in the mess going on in his head that he almost didn't notice her step toward him.

Knightley put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "Alex is resilient, Major. I would know. Let's get you checked over, and then we'll check on her. The two of you should be up and about in no time."

"She better be," was all Lorne said, the self-recrimination clear in his voice.

~o~o~o~

Sheppard poked his head into Alex's tent not sure what to expect at this ungodly early hour. It was Lorne's job to be up before sunrise. The Major was just going to have to get over it quick, and get his butt back into action, 'cause he wasn't going to do this one minute longer than he absolutely had to. Snorting at his own humor, Sheppard watched Alex looking as if she was sleeping soundly. He turned to the guard who gave a silent nod indicating all was quiet through the night.

"I'm awake, John," she called sleepily, startling him. "How's Evan?"

"Funny you should mention him, he was just asking about you," he started, coming to stand closer to the gurney. Keeping his expression hard and cold, he stared down into those intense blue eyes.

"And?" she prompted.

"He'll live."

"I knew that last night and you know damn well what I'm asking."

Sheppard maintained his cold glare. "What's it to you? Didn't like losing a puppet? Or did you just wind up gaining a better one?"

For a moment Alex's expression was a study in confusion. Then she threw her head back with a huge sigh. "So that's what this is about. I should have seen this coming. For a moment you had me worried. No, John, I'm fine. There's no trace of her in my head. And, yes, you were right. Major Lorne was compromised, but not in the usual way. She basically broke in through a back door and left it open. She's been in his head probably since the first encounter and never let go. She's been torturing him slowly, trying to break him down. Which is why one of her generals had to take the longer method in torturing Church. And that's why he had the headaches. He was subconsciously fighting her."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"I don't care what you believe, right now," she snapped. "Just tell me, is he okay? I don't know how much damage was done to him, and how much of it was…caused by me. Just…tell me he's not…I mean…damn it! Did I turn his brain to mush, or is he going to be himself still?"

Alex finally managed to get the words out while trying to cover a sniffle. Tears were pouring down the sides of her face. She felt foolish like this, but she just couldn't stop herself. Her heart was racing in fear and pain for all that she remembered of what she had seen. The man deserved to live and be happy. She refused to believe the universe could be so cruel as to give him so much pain and then leave him useless.

Seeing her distress, Sheppard finally relaxed his cold expression. "He's going to be fine, by the looks of it."

Alex struggled to regain control through her sobs. "Bastard. Why didn't you just tell me in the first place?"

"I had to know."

"Know what?" she snapped.

"You told me yourself, Wraith don't know compassion. If you're this messed up, then you're…you."

Alex chuckled darkly. "As if that would convince you."

"Not entirely, but it's a good start," he admitted. Squeezing her shoulder comfortingly she said, "Don't worry, you passed. Now we'll just get Heightmeyer to do that hypno mumbo jumbo and Teyla to muck around in your mind and hopefully they'll clear you."

"And if she doesn't?"

Sheppard's expression darkened, but he didn't feel the need to lie to her. "You wouldn't have had to worry about getting pictures of the sunset around here. You'd be seeing plenty of them for the rest of your lives. And that's if you survived us packing up and taking the gate with us."

Alex nodded. "Safer than leaving her in our heads and risking Atlantis."

Sheppard nodded.

"Teyla's here?" Alex asked, seeming to have gotten her emotions under control.

"Yep, she was meeting with Heightmeyer the last I saw."

"Can we just get this over with? I'm starving."

Sheppard chuckled, "That's more like the Alex I know," and keyed on his radio. "Colonel Sheppard to Teyla. Where are you at?"

"Right here," came a voice from the tent flap making John jump.

Alex repressed a giggle as Sheppard snapped, "You walk like a damn cat!"

"As do you, I believe," she replied. "I just tend to have better timing, it would appear."

At this Alex giggled openly, earning a glare from Sheppard.

"Fine, whatever. Are you two ready?"

"Doctor Knightley was giving Major Lorne a thorough checking over. She said she would be a while," Doctor Heightmeyer spoke up. "She said Alex was fine, and we could start immediately, if that's okay with her."

"Please, Kate. I just want this done," Alex told her.

Heightmeyer and Teyla both frowned seeing the obvious evidence of recent tears. Teyla went so far as to glare down Sheppard until he decided to wait outside.

"Are you alright?" Heightmeyer asked once Sheppard had made himself scarce.

"Fine. Just worried about Evan. You won't need to hypnotize me. Teyla should be able to dig deep enough to tell you what you need."

Teyla arched and eyebrow skeptically, but didn't argue. Kate seemed to consider this, and then nodded.

"Teyla, I know you've been in Wraith minds before. But mine is not Wraith anymore. It might be a bit…chaotic after last night. I'll be as open as I can, but don't be afraid to dig if I resist. And…please…don't…" Alex made a face, frustrated at not being able to convey what she wanted without sounding accusatory.

Teyla bent down and put her forehead to Alex's. "I would never betray the secrets of your heart, so long as they are not a threat to Atlantis. I promise you this."

"Thank you," Alex whispered back, fresh tears stinging her eyes. Regaining her composure, she added. "Don't be afraid of the pain you inflict. I'll be fine. I would rather you be thorough."

"I understand."

And then there was nothing more to be said. Taking a step back, Teyla closed her eyes and focused. It amazed her how easily she was able to locate and penetrate Alex's thoughts and mind. But what she found felt like an open wound to her heart. Everything was raw and far too vivid. Her emotions were a tangled mess; guilt being among the most prominent. Not adept enough at this to know the underlying thoughts, she focused on finding that intense darkness and hate that was the trademark of a Wraith mind. She moved through the constant churning of those emotions but found not a trace.

With a smile, Teyla opened her eyes. "She's clear of any Wraith influence."

Kate smiled happily. Alex closed her eyes and sighed in relief, as if only just realizing how afraid she had been.

"Kate, would you mind letting Colonel Sheppard know the good news?"

Sensing there was something more to this request than was obvious, Doctor Heightmeyer nodded and stepped out, leaving Teyla, Alex, and the guard. Teyla placed a gentle hand on the side of Alex's face to get her attention.

"You love so much. You feel so much. How are you not overwhelmed?"

Alex barked a laugh. "I am, sometimes. But I manage."

"I see this." Leaning close Teyla said, "Thank you for the trust you have placed in me. I am honored. And, I'm sorry for hating you as I did. It was wrong of me."

Alex's eyes stung with tears all over again. Too choked up at first to reply, she just shook her head vehemently. Finally she managed to get herself under control yet again. "You were right to be angry on John's behalf. You're his friend and you love him as much as I do."

"Perhaps, but it was still wrong. Will you forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive, but if it will ease your mind, yes."

Teyla's smile was beaming. "Thank you."

Standing back up, she squeezed Alex's hand. "I believe there's someone else who would like to see you, now."

"Okay."

A moment later Beckett came in, his blue eyes hard as rocks seeing her condition. "Those bloody idiots! Sheppard just radioed me with the all clear. Didn't bother telling me he was going to have Teyla boring into your head."

Alex laughed softly as Carson began to undo her restraints. "Carson, it was necessary."

"'Necessary'? Are ye daft?! Look at yourself!"

"I'm fine. Just a little…fragile. I'll get over it."

"'Get over it'?" Carson blurted. "You make it sound like a sniffle! I can't imagine—"

With one hand and her chest strap now free, Alex sat up grabbing Carson in a fierce hug. Before he had a chance to process what was going on, she silenced his rant with a very thorough kiss. Breathless, she finally released him with a smile.

"Am I well enough to escape now, Doctor?" she asked teasingly.

His face now red and his ears practically glowing having had a silent witness as the guard pretended not to see, Carson cleared his throat but couldn't find it in himself to be angry with her. "Yes, well, I supposed you should probably take a shower before Elizabeth needs you."

"Food. I'm starving. Then a shower, I promise."

"Deal."

Alex beamed a smile at him that set his heart fluttering again. Oy but that woman could turn his head inside out! Checking her over quickly, he then released her so he could get back to the nightmare of a lab setup he'd been working on.

With a sigh of relief, Alex watched Carson walking away. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep her composure. She poked her head outside to find she was blessedly alone. She had to move quickly if she was going to avoid Major Lorne. She hadn't had time to figure out what she was going to do in the long-term. But right now she couldn't face him. Right now she needed to run. Maybe she could find an excuse or something later. But now…

Forcing herself under control, Alex made her way to the gate. Since no orders had been given restricting gate travel at the moment, she was given access to return to Atlantis. There she ran into a team getting ready to come through to the Delta Site with another load of Beckett's equipment. Dodging them, she headed toward her quarters. Food had been a lie. Right now, all she wanted was a hot, soothing shower and some privacy. Knowing Beckett would be in and out looking for her every time he returned for more equipment, she decided the shower would be short. She knew exactly where she was going to go.

~o~o~o~

Unlike Alex, Major Lorne's testing was a bit more thorough, in its own way. Sheppard waited outside while Doctor Heightmeyer hypnotized him. Once she was convinced he was deeply hypnotized, she poked her head out of the flaps and nodded to Sheppard. He followed her back in, and stood a safe distance from the gurney.

"Evan, Colonel Sheppard is here. You're going to answer his questions, now. But we can stop any time you like."

Lorne said nothing. Heightmeyer nodded to the Colonel.

"What really happened with the Wraith queen on the hive ship?"

"She invaded my mind. She was looking for the gate address to Atlantis," he said in a monotone voice.

"And did she get it?"

Lorne's face twitched. "Yes."

"What else did she get?"

"Me," there was tension clear in his voice now, even though his face was blank.

"Can you explain?"

"Alex."

The silence stretched out. "What about Alex?" Sheppard asked, getting impatient.

"Alex…Alex…No, you can't have her! Leave her alone! I'll kill you, you Wraith bitch!"

Lorne's sudden outburst startled him. Turning to Heightmeyer he could see she was already on her feet and next to the bed.

"Evan, relax. It's okay. It's over. Whatever happened is over. It's just a memory. It can't hurt you now. Alex is safe."

Lorne quickly went quiet. Not sure if he should start again, he nodded to Heightmeyer. Let her ask the relevant questions.

"Evan, do you remember what the queen did to you?"

"Yes."

"What did she do?"

"In my head. Hurts. They're all dead. My head hurts. Oh God, why couldn't I save them? Head hurts so much. Just kill me already, you bitch! It hurts so much! Make it stop!"

Even Sheppard's heart skipped painfully with those words. He didn't have to guess what was going on in the Major's mind.

"It's over Evan. It's over. Remember, they're just memories. They can't hurt you now. What happened with Alex?"

"Alex. Oh God, she's hurt! I have to save her! I can't…not strong enough…she screaming!"

"Evan relax. It's okay. They're just memories. Alex is safe. What did Alex do?"

"Alex…saved me. She made the pain stop."

"How?"

"I don't know. The queen is gone. She's not there anymore. But Alex…Oh God. She's screaming! Don't let me fail again. You can't have her! Take me, you bitch! Leave her alone!"

"Evan, calm—"

Lorne jerked awake so fast even Heightmeyer stepped back startled.

"Alex!" he called, looking around frantically, straining his restraints, his chest heaving.

"Major!" Sheppard snapped. "Pull it together!"

"Yes, sir!" Lorne snapped reflexively.

"That's better," Sheppard said, his expression still hard. "What do you remember?"

Lorne squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, his face pale. "Everything," he croaked, his voice cracking.

Kate reached for a cup of water on the table beside him. He gave her a grateful look swallowing a few times. Taking a deep breath and relaxing back onto the bed, he turned toward Sheppard.

"Sorry, Colonel. It was a bit…intense," he explained, trying to give only a calm façade though his face was still deathly white.

Sheppard wasn't blind, the man was shaken; though he did seem to be recovering quickly. "So, what happened?"

"She went into my mind to get Atlantis' gate address." The anger and disgust at himself clear on his face. "She got it, I think. Then she left…a piece of herself, I guess. In my head. It was just enough for her to…play with my mind subtly, to try to break me down, and get more information."

"And what did she get, Major?" the dangerous edge to Sheppard's voice didn't seem to faze Lorne one bit.

"From me, nothing useful. A handful of memories best left buried. Maybe some stuff she made up herself to give me nightmares. I'm not sure anymore which ones were real. But she wasn't in my mind strongly enough to take anything after the first round. I was even able to try to warn you, I thought. But I guess you didn't get the message at first."

"How?"

Lorne shook his head and sighed. "It wasn't much. She had some control over me and every time I tried to fight her or warn you she made the pain worse. But I was giving you looks. Alex, too. I thought I was, anyway."

Sheppard nodded. "I thought I saw something a couple times. Good job, Major."

Lorne shook his head, his expression filled with self-recrimination. "Not good enough, sir. She almost got Alex. I'm not sure how or what happened. But I remember Alex there. She was…inside me. It was like she was healing me, somehow. And then she was gone. And so was the queen."

"You remember all that?" Sheppard asked, skeptically.

"Yes, sir."

Sheppard seemed to consider this. Then he glanced to Heightmeyer. "Teyla?"

"It couldn't hurt. She could certainly sense of there was any lingering presence."

"Do it," Sheppard ordered. "If he passes, cut him loose."

"Yes, Colonel."

"Colonel?" Lorne called before he could leave.

"Yes, Major?"

"About earlier… I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Major. When you get out of here, take a shower and get your ass back to work. This is the last time I cover your morning shift."

With a huge smile that brought out the dimples in what Sheppard found to be the single most irritating feature about the younger-looking Major, Lorne said, "Yes, sir. Be glad to, sir."

"Good," he shot back with a quick grin of his own as he passed Teyla coming in.

"Good morning, Major," Teyla greeted with a smile.

"Hey, Teyla."

"I've already cleared Alex. Carson was releasing her a few minutes ago," she told him, sensing his need to know.

"Glad to hear it. Thanks," he said, beaming another smile.

Her expression turning serious, Teyla explained, "This might be a bit uncomfortable. But I promise, nothing I see or feel will ever leave this tent."

Lorne barked a laugh. "I'm almost getting used to people crawling around my head."

She gave him a commiserating look. "Are you ready?"

"No, but I want out of here. So let's get this over with."

Teyla stepped back and repeated the process she had done on Alex. Here it was much more difficult, as Lorne didn't have any telepathic ability or Wraith DNA. But the one thing she was certain of, despite her growing headache, is that there was no Wraith presence in his mind.

"All clear," she finally said.

Heightmeyer smiled happily and reached for the restraints. Between the two of them, Major Lorne was free and happily on his in minutes.

"Any idea where Alex went?" he asked, stretching his stiff muscles.

"I believe I saw her heading for the gate," Teyla replied.

"Thanks," he called over his shoulder, taking off out of the tent at a trot.

Three things were on his list of things to do before he reported for duty. Shower. Food. Alex. And what order they were in would be determined by the sick feeling he had growing in the pit of his stomach. Now that he remembered in terrifying clarity all that had gone on in his head, he needed to find her. Not everything was a one-way when it came to telepathic encounters. He'd seen enough of Alex from the inside to know what she carried and how she felt about him now. But Sheppard and Heightmeyer didn't need to know what Alex had seen, or what he'd sensed of her in his head. Some things others just couldn't be understood by those who had not felt them in such an intimate way.

Praying he was wrong, he headed through the gate to Atlantis.

~o~o~o~

Alex stopped by her quarters long enough for a shower. She had hoped the shower would help wash away the mess of her emotions. No such luck. With her stomach clenched in fear and guilt to a point she just felt sick, food was out of the question. Not knowing what else to do with herself being such a mess, she sought out the nearest balcony that was empty and closed the door behind herself.

For a while she just sat there. She knew she should be doing something useful. She knew it was silly to be so emotional. She knew it was just plain stupid that she couldn't let go. She knew it was useless to be so wrapped up in something that wasn't any of her business in the first place. She knew Lorne was going to resent her for the rest of his life for what she had seen and what she knew. She knew she would never be allowed on his team ever again.

Numb. She just wanted to be numb. She wanted the hurt to stop. She wanted the guilt to go away. She wanted the fear to evaporate. For the first time since becoming human, she truly and deeply wished she didn't feel so much.

Her eyes on the waves below, Alex let herself be lost in them. She knew they were cold. And, for a moment, she considered swimming in those icy waters. It would be less painful than what she felt now. Hugging her legs to her chest, she tried to close out everything in her mind and just drift with the waves. She wanted to be as cold and uncaring as those dangerous waters below.

And, for a while, it almost worked.

Suddenly she was no longer alone. The door opened behind her, and she ignored it. Hoping they would see she didn't want company, she silently screamed at them to just go away. Instead, he stepped up beside her and closed the door again. Realizing it was Major Lorne, she felt the mortification rising right alongside her fear. Knowing she wasn't going to be able to keep it inside anymore, she buried her face in her knees, silently praying he would just leave her alone.

His hair still wet from his hasty shower, Evan knew when he got no answer in her quarters exactly where Alex would be. It only took three balconies before he found her. He hadn't been sure what to expect, at first. But the moment he saw her huddled form, he knew. He didn't have to ask. He knew she would just tell him to go away, so he locked the door behind himself to ensure their privacy and sat down.

Words weren't needed here. He took her in his arms, and then slid her onto his lap so he could wrap both arms around her. Holding tight, he let her ride out the sobs that she'd been trying to hold back; just as he had done with his own sister so long ago. He wasn't sure how long they sat there; but, after a while, she seemed to just wear herself down to deep breathing and sniffles.

"Are you going to be okay?" he finally asked, when he thought she might be able to hear through her suffering.

"I'm sorry."

"For what? It better not be for saving my life, because I'm not in the mood to kick anyone's ass today. I'll have to sic Krissy on you."

Alex seemed to bark a laugh before burying her face in his chest. For a moment they just sat like that content. Still somewhat surprised that his own raw emotions hadn't left him in tears right along with her, he kept his blue eyes on the waves just beyond the balcony railing. This time it was Evan who apologized.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. You should never have had to deal with that. I didn't want you to. I tried to warn you. I was hoping Doctor Heightmeyer would…never mind. Just…I'm sorry."

Alex shook her head against his chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to invade your mind. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't let her have you. Please, I—"

"Don't make me repeat myself," he told her gruffly. "You've got nothing to apologize for. You saved my life. My sanity, at the very least. My career, most definitely. I felt her attacking you. I heard you screaming. It…Jesus, Alex. I almost lost you, too, last night. I'm not sure I could deal with that, ever.

"I don't even know how to begin to thank you. But I can do this for you," told her, squeezing her closely. "Don't ever be afraid to come to me with anything. I know you love Carson. But I love you, too. And I want you to know you're safe with me."

Alex fought back more tears. "You're so scared. You hurt so much. But you won't let anyone get close, because you're sure they'll die, too. And your sister…it wasn't your fault."

Evan felt his face turn grim as the memories flooded back in all their painful glory.

"I know. And, yes, I'm scared. I've been around long enough to know that kind of hurt, obviously. You're new to this. And, if I have any say in the matter, you'll never know that kind of pain. Understand?"

"I already know, now."

Holding her tight, he rested his cheek on her head. "God, I'm so sorry, Alex. Is there any way to reverse it? Maybe Heightmeyer can—"

Sitting up, she faced him, her blue cat-like eyes boring into his. "No. Never. Even if there was, I wouldn't. I love you too, like a brother; like John. But you're different. I want to share this pain with you. No one should have to carry so much alone."

Evan's blue eyes shifted in embarrassment briefly at his privacy being so completely violated hit him again. Then he heaved a sigh and let it go, visibly releasing it all. For Alex, he would happily suffer anything, even total exposure. If only he could protect her; as he hadn't been able to for his own sister. Eventually, he nodded.

"I know. I'm just not ready to share that part of my life, yet."

"You already have. And it didn't kill me," she shot back with a smile. "Remember that the next time someone asks you out on a date."

Evan's chuckle warmed her heart, it was good to hear him happy over anything knowing how much pain he carried all the time. "Wow, one day playing super shrink, and you're already giving relationship advice. You've been around Heightmeyer too much."

She made to punch him in the ribs, just missing and grazing his side with her knuckles, instead.

"Hey!" he jumped, nearly throwing her off his lap. "No tickling!"

Alex's eyebrows shot up in abject, open-mouthed surprise. Suddenly Evan's stern face flushed redder than she had ever seen Carson's, even.

"You're ticklish?"

"No," he snapped, his big arms moving her quite easily off his lap and out of the ticklish zone.

Alex's grin was pure malevolence. Her eyes sparkled wickedly. Evan knew she would keep his secret, but she clearly did not have his best intentions in mind, at the moment.

"Don't. You. Dare." he warned, punctuating each word with a finger in her face.

"My lips are sealed," she swore, still unable to remove the grin.

Certain they were alone on the balcony, Alex made to poke him in the ribs. He managed to catch her one hand, but the other was too quick. He barked a laugh before he could scoot away from her and catch the other hand. Up against the balcony railing and holding both her wrists away from him, he glared daggers.

"Are you quite finished?"

"Just getting started."

"I'm not explaining to Sheppard or Carson how you took a swan dive over a balcony and suffered hypothermia for your efforts."

Alex's face fell, making Evan almost regret his empty threat. "Okay."

Heaving a sigh with a groan, he knew he could deny her nothing at this point, Evan sighed. "Never in public, okay?"

Alex chuckled. "Never at all, I promise. It was just fun seeing your reaction."

"Why you evil little…"

Before she could get away, Evan snatched her up and found a couple of ticklish places of his own.

"Ha! Now we're even."

Still giggling Alex nodded in agreement. "Truce?"

"Truce."

Moving gracefully to his feet, Evan pulled Alex up and into a tight embrace. "Thank you."

"I'm honored to be another sister to you," she said.

Releasing her, he smiled. "Come on, I'm starving. And I'm pretty certain I heard your stomach complaining a few minutes ago, too."

Now it was Alex's turn to flush. "Yeah, I didn't have much of an appetite earlier."

"You? No appetite?" Evan said feigning utter shock. "Should I call Carson? Or should I just take you right to the infirmary?"

This time her punch to his ribs was successful enough to make him grunt. Then her face turned into an expression of horror that had him concerned.

"Tania! I almost forgot Tania! I've got to tell her about Krissy!"

"Is she working today?"

"I don't know. I'll check her quarters. You go on ahead, I'll meet up with you in the mess hall."

"No. I'll come with you."

Alex wasn't going to argue. Aside from the fact that she was enjoying his companionship, she knew she could probably use the backup. Either Tania was going to turn hysterical, or she was going to lash out. Probably both. Either way, she could use some of Evan's strength.

Their timing could not have been more perfect. They ran into Sergeant Daniels just leaving her quarters after a quick shower. One glance at her and Lorne knew something was up.

"You okay?" he asked, seeing her so pale and anxious.

Daniels' just nodded.

"We were about to go tell Tania the good news. I'm sorry I wasn't able to earlier. I just got back from the—"

"Will you come with me?" Krissy blurted.

Surprised by this, Alex hesitated for a moment in responding, causing Daniels to flush.

"I'm sorry. It's just…I've been back since yesterday…I was about to…I don't know if I can do this. What if she hates me for putting her through this?"

As understanding dawned on her, Alex nodded. "Of course."

"You too?" she asked Lorne, surprising him. "I don't think she's going to believe anything I say. We had a…fight…right before…and…I-I um..."

"Enough said. I can't order her around, but I'll be there to hold her down while you talk," Lorne said squeezing her shoulder comfortingly and giving her a wink. "Come on."

A moment later they triggered the chimes on Tania's door and waited. After a minute of no response, Lorne triggered them again. Still nothing. Looking at the others, Alex shrugged. Daniels moved behind Lorne as if wanting to hide.

"Hey, Tania!" Alex called. "I've got some good news. But you're going to have to come to the door to get it."

"Go away!" a muffled voice on the other side of the door called.

"You know, if you came out of your room every once in a while, you would probably already know," Alex called, starting to get irritated.

"Fuck off!"

By this point Daniels was shaking and looked ready to bolt. Lorne kept a gentle grip on her arm.

"Tania, this is Major Lorne. If you don't come to the door, I'm just going to have to tell Krissy you don't want to see her," Lorne called.

A split second later the door flew open. A tussle-haired, wide-eyed, pale Tania with puffy red eyes stared at Major Lorne as if he were a creature she'd never seen before.

"Well, that's a start," he commented with a smile.

"How dare you make me think you were dead?!" Tania screeched.

Obviously she was no longer seeing him. She'd caught sight of Krissy just to his right, and had tackled her right there in the halls. For a moment, Lorne thought he was going to have to pull the two apart since it looked like Tania was outright attacking. Knowing Daniels as he did, however, he waited a moment. Daniels took her hits, and then put a stop to it when she was ready by pinning the nurse's arms. By this point they were both in tears. Lorne watched just long enough to ensure there wouldn't be any bloodshed before quietly following Alex down the corridor toward the mess hall.