Lose Yourself
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone from One Tree Hill!
Flashbacks in this style of writing.
Brooke silently groaned at the vibrating sound of her cell phone that was coming from the bedside table next to her, she tiredly sat up and leaned over to answer it speaking quietly so she wouldn't wake her sleeping daughter next to her. "Hello?" she answered groggily not even bothering to check the ID.
"Hey, where are you? I come home from work to find you and Grace nowhere in sight" Chase commented on the other side.
"Oh yeah…we stayed at Nathan's last night" Brooke spoke quietly and stroked Grace's soft light brown hair soothingly. "We had a late night and Grace was already settled so we just bunked in the guest room" she explained deciding that it would be best not to mention Lucas's sudden return to her boyfriend just yet.
"Oh, okay" Chase answered "Well why don't I come round and pick you both up? Treat my girls to breakfast"
Brooke smiled and nodded "Sure…but Gracie is still sleeping so wait another hour?" she asked.
"Sure" Chase smiled "See you soon"
"Bye" Brooke sighed before hanging up the phone. She didn't want to think of Lucas anymore, instead she wanted to think of her daughter and her boyfriend and what better way to do that is to spend some time together with them, just the three of them.
Brooke walked out of the guestroom and held in a yawn and smiled slightly when she saw Nathan and Haley sitting in the kitchen. "Morning guys"
Nathan looked up at Brooke with an annoyed expression "Is that it? Morning guys?"
Brooke sighed and sat down "Not now, Nate, it is way too early"
"Well last night was apparently way too late" Nathan muttered "So when exactly do you want to talk about your ass of an ex being back in town?"
"I don't even want to think about Lucas right now" Brooke muttered.
"Well you're going to have to think about him sometime, Brooke; you can't keep on burying your head in the sand and hope that this will all go away because it won't" Nathan told her sternly.
"I'm not going to let him see her if that's what you're talking about"
"Well what about you?" Haley cut in.
"This isn't about me" Brooke replied confused.
"Oh come on, Brooke…this was the guy you once claimed you loved" Haley said softly "How do you feel about him being back?"
"This is not about me" Brooke replied firmly not wanting to talk about this. Why couldn't it just all go away.
"Brooke-" Nathan grunted with frustration but soon got cut off by the guestroom door opening and a tired looking Grace walking slowly towards them.
"Mommy" Grace's soft voice echoed across the room.
"Morning princess" Brooke smiled as she lifted Grace onto her lap "How did you sleep?" she asked, glad for the change of subject.
"Good" Grace answered in a muffle, never really being a morning person, especially when she was tired.
"Well…Chase is coming to pick us both up soon and he's taking us out for breakfast so we better go and get you changed into a fresh pair of clothes" Brooke told her standing up, carrying Grace as she did so.
"Brooke…" Nathan started "You can't run away from this"
"I'm not" Brooke replied simply before walking back towards the guestroom.
Nathan shook his head and looked at Haley annoyed "She can't keep doing this" he muttered with frustration.
"Just give her time, Nate" Haley told him softly "Let her deal with this in her own way"
"Yeah…but that's the problem, Hales" Nathan sighed and shook his head "I don't think she is dealing with this at all"
Lucas stepped outside his truck the next morning and stretched his arms out above him with a yawn, his neck was sore from sleeping in the car but he had slept in worse places in the last six years. He walked around to the front of the truck and shook his head annoyed at the large dent and chipped paint scratches that was placed in the middle of the hood. He grunted before jumping back inside the truck and driving off to find the nearest garage.
It was strange as how he drove through the small and narrow streets of Tree Hill how nothing much had really changed and how he soon found himself knowing exactly where he was going. The only changes that he had seen were in the main street but back in the quieter areas of the small town, everything was still the same. He's expected that after being gone from this town for six years that nothing would be the same as it was before, but obviously he was wrong.
He pulled up at one of the old garage stations and slowly walked towards the large entrance, he stepped in to see two cars already inside and another with the hood open where he assumed the mechanic was at the other side.
"Uh…excuse me" Lucas's voice echoed through the room but immediately took a step back when the mechanic shut the lid.
"Lucas" Keith's shocked voice travelled towards him. "What…what are you doing here?"
Lucas struggled to answer as he looked towards his car then back at Keith who looked stunned. What was he supposed to know? He couldn't exactly be pissed off at the guy anymore considering he had abandoned his kid the same way Keith had left him; only in his case it was probably worse considering he was actually Grace's father and not her uncle. "Um…my car…I…I need a new hood" so talking to the man like a stranger was his solution then?
"I meant in Tree Hill" Keith said taking a few steps towards his nephew "I didn't think I would see your face around here again"
"Yeah well people surprise you" Lucas muttered uncomfortably.
"Does Brooke know your back?" Keith asked as he wiped his greasy hands with a towel.
"Yes"
"I bet she wasn't too pleased" Keith said with a small chuckle.
Lucas glared at him, how the hell was any of this funny? "Why do you care?" he asked coldly.
"I care about the kid you abandoned" Keith cut in and this time he wasn't smiling "Nice move, Lucas…really smart" he told him with sarcasm.
"You're one to judge" Lucas bit back defensively.
"Yeah…exactly…you think you would have learnt your lesson? First with Dan…then with me, turns out you're just as bad as the rest of us"
"Whatever" Lucas muttered annoyed "I don't have to listen to this" he spat before walking out of the garage however Keith was hot on his tail.
"Actually Lucas! You do!" Keith shouted after him and pulled his arm and turning him around "For god's sake you are a father! When the hell are you going to grow up and take responsibilities for your actions?"
"You don't know a damn thing about me!"
"Really? I do know that you're a coward!"
Lucas looked away with frustration and closed his eyes tight. He hated that word.
"Yeah…that's right, Lucas!" Keith goaded "A coward…just like me and just like Dan!"
"Stop it!"
"No…because I have met your daughter, Lucas. And she is a good little girl, Brooke has raised her well"
Lucas felt his heart beating a million miles an hour at the mention of his daughter…his daughter that he didn't know anything about, nothing…not even what she looked like.
"She's five years old, Lucas, five, and she has grown up without her father…don't you even care about that?"
"Of course I care!" Lucas snapped "Damn it, why do you even think I left?" he asked but didn't even wait for Keith to answer "Because I'm a loser! I'm a selfish immature loser and Brooke and my kid would be better off without me! All I would ever have done is bring them down to my level and I didn't want that for them! They deserve better than what I could give them...like you said six years ago back in that hospital room, I didn't have a job, I didn't have any money and I barely had an education! So what the hell could I have done for them, huh Keith? What?" he asked shouting in frustration "Nothing!"
"You could have been a father" Keith replied calmly and Lucas quickly roughly wiped his eyes to stop the tears from appearing.
"Don't you think I know that? I regret walking out on Brooke every single day…but it happened… and there isn't a damn thing that I can do to change that now, and Brooke hates me because of it and I hate me because of it and my daughter probably hates me because of it, okay?!" Lucas shouted "I made a mistake…but now I want to make things right"
"It's not going to be easy" Keith pointed out.
"I know that…I know that"
"But I'm on your side"
"What?" Lucas's head snapped up surprised. "But-"
"But nothing, Lucas. I should have been there for you while you were growing up, after your mother had died…but I wasn't, and I think that maybe if I was, things would be different right now" Keith explained honestly "I made a mistake with you, Lucas, and I want to make it right between us just like you want to make things right with Brooke and your daughter"
Lucas nodded gratefully "Thank you" he told him sincerely.
Keith shrugged "I may be fourteen years too late but I want to help you, I at least owe you that much"
"Hmm…can I have a huge chocolate milkshake?" Grace asked the waitress who was standing by their table taking their order.
"For breakfast?" Brooke cut in with a shake of a head "How about we skip the chocolate and have just the milk?"
Grace pouted "Please Momma, just this once"
"That's what you said the last time we came here" Brooke told her and Grace folded her arms in annoyance.
"That's so unfair!" she huffed.
Chase chuckled and shook his head "Just give her the chocolate milkshake" he told the waitress and smiled as she walked off.
"Yey!" Grace squealed in delight.
"Chase!" Brooke scolded "I can't believe you just did that!"
"Oh come on Brooke, it's just one time" Chase shrugged "She will only be having one" he warned looking down at Grace who was sitting next to him. She just nodded in response and turned her attention back to her drawings.
"That's not the point!" Brooke hissed "I told her no and you just completely undermined me"
"That wasn't my intention, you know I can't say no to that face" Chase explained "Come on, lighten up…you have been in a bad mood all morning"
Brooke sighed "I'm just tired" she lied; she couldn't get Lucas out of her damn mind.
"Well cheer up" Chase smiled "We both haven't had a day off together in a while so we might as well enjoy it" he pointed out.
"Yeah" Brooke agreed forcing a smile.
"Red or blue?" Grace interrupted and held up the two crayons as she struggled to decide.
Brooke leaned over the table to see what her daughter was coloring in before deciding "Red"
Lucas pulled up in his car outside of Brooke's house after the two had spent the night at the bar where they first met. It had been about two months since then and about six weeks since they started a relationship and things were still pretty fresh between them.
"I had a good night tonight, Luke. Thank you" Brooke smiled.
"Anything for you Pretty Girl" Lucas grinned before leaning over and kissing her softly on the lips. "I really like kissing you" he whispered once he pulled away and Brooke grinned widely.
"That's good to know, because I really enjoy you kissing me"
Lucas smirked before pressing his lips against hers once more before slowly pulling away.
"I better go" Brooke told him before removing her seatbelt.
Lucas nodded and looked over towards Brooke's dark house. "I thought your parents were in town?" he asked confused, wondering why the house looked like nobody was even living in it.
"They were" Brooke told him "They left for Rome about..." she trailed as she looked down at her watch "Three hours ago"
"Oh"
"Yeah" Brooke answered with a dry laugh "Anyway...I better get inside, school tomorrow"
"Why don't I pick you up, we can go for breakfast before...somewhere where nobody will know us, of course" he told her reasuringly.
Brooke smiled "Okay, I would like that"
"Good...I will be round at about seven...you just wait behind that red door" Lucas told her.
"Ah you noticed?" Brooke asked with a smile.
"Of course" Lucas smirked "It's the only door in this street that is painted red, I love it...and everytime I see another house with a red door, which by the way is not very often" he told her with a small chuckle "I always think of you"
Brooke grinned widely "What? So red doors symbolize me to you?"
"Yeah" Lucas smiled "You're the girl behind the red door. My girl behind the red door"
"I like red" Grace smiled as she colored in the front door of the big house she was drawing.
"So, Emily and I divorced about two years ago and her and the kids moved back to Charleston" Keith finished as he and Lucas drove in his truck. Keith was explaining about how he, his wife and his children moved to Tree Hill three years ago but things weren't working out between him and his wife and she had moved back to her hometown leaving Keith living in Tree Hill alone.
"Do you miss your kids?" Lucas asked curiously.
Keith nodded "Of course I do…but it's not like I never see them, I mean they come over every other weekend and when they aren't at school, sure, it's not the same as having them around all the time but that's just life I guess…nothing is perfect"
"Yeah" Lucas mumbled as he thought to his own mess he guessed you could call his life.
"Actually, they are coming over this weekend, you could meet them…that's if you're still around"
"I told you" Lucas sighed "I'm not going anywhere"
"That's good…because you have a lot of making up to do" Keith told him before parking the truck as the two stepped out before walking into the small café.
Brooke looked up as the door jingled and her heart almost stopped when she saw Lucas, she looked across the table to see Grace coloring contently and Chase watching her, throwing in the occasional comment every now and then. Her breath hitched slightly as she nervously stood up telling Chase she was going to the bathroom.
"You need to leave, now" Brooke's stern voice surprised Lucas, not expecting to see her here.
"Brooke" Lucas stuttered as he looked towards the table she had just walked from and his stomach started fluttering as he saw the back of a little girls head, her light brown hair in two plats. "Is that-" he started but Brooke immediately cut him off.
"Don't you dare!" She hissed quietly so she wouldn't cause a scene "I mean it Lucas…you better leave!"
Lucas looked towards Keith who just held his hands up in the air not wanting to get involved. "I…Brooke…I want to see her" the blonde stuttered feeling over whelmed with the fact that his daughter was in the same room as him.
Brooke immediately shook her head "You have no right!"
"She's my daughter!" Lucas argued.
Brooke clenched her jaw in anger "You left! You didn't want to know her five years ago so you don't get to want to know her now!"
"I made a mistake!"
Chase turned around hearing the voices and he frowned instantly when he saw the loser he kicked out of the club last night standing having what looked like a heated conversation with his girlfriend. He turned back to Grace who was happily coloring before he slowly stood up and walked towards them. "What's going on here?" he asked glaring directly at Lucas and he wrapped his arm around Brooke's waist as if he was marking his territory.
Brooke immediately sighed dejectedly not wanting Chase to find out about him like this but she knew it was too late now.
"Do you know this loser?" Chase asked in a cold tone as he glared at Lucas heavily.
Lucas looked at him confused for a moment, who the hell was he and why did he have his hands on his Brooke? Then suddenly he remembered the face, this jerk kicked him out of that nightclub the night before.
"Wait…" Brooke trailed confused and almost gasped "Do you know him?" she asked her boyfriend.
Chase shook his head "No but I had to kick him out of the club last night"
Brooke scoffed and turned back at Lucas "Really?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and Lucas rubbed his hand over his face.
"Brooke" Chase interrupted again "Who is he?"
Brooke looked at him nervously then back at Lucas who was now smirking. "Well? Aren't you going to tell him, Pretty Girl?" the blonde asked in a grin.
Brooke glared at him; he was so not helping his chances right now.
"Brooke?" Chase urged.
"Chase…" Brooke started with a sigh "This is Lucas-"
"Brooke's ex and the father" Lucas smirked and held his hand out for Chase to shake but the brunette male wasn't interested. He didn't know why he was acting like a jerk...but he didn't like the look of this guy, there was something off about him.
"What?" he asked in shock looking at Brooke "Since when did he come back?"
"Since last night" Brooke answered with a cringe "I am so sorry I didn't tell you! I was just waiting for the right time!" she quickly told him.
"The right time? When the hell would there be a right time to tell me this?" Chase asked in disbelief "You told me that Grace's father was gone for good!"
"Well I thought he would be!" Brooke hissed and Lucas looked down shamefully.
"We are leaving" Chase practically ordered and turned to look at Lucas "You stay the hell away from my family"
"They aren't your family!" Lucas growled back hating the fact that this guy was looking after his daughter.
"Lucas!" Brooke hissed in annoyance "Please"
"No!" Chase shouted and turned back at Lucas "They are my family so you better crawl back to whatever hole you came from, you don't deserve them!"
Lucas's fists tightened by his side, he knew he didn't deserve them but that didn't mean that he wouldn't fight like hell to get them back.
Brooke watched the anger rise inside of her ex-boyfriend, she knew him well and she saw the way his fists clenched at his sides and his jaw stiffened, she needed to get him or Chase out of here before the blonde did something he would regret. "Lucas" she said in a calm tone "Please…can you just-" she started but Chase cut her off.
"Leave this god damn town and never come back! We don't want you here, Brooke doesn't want you here and I'm pretty sure that Grace doesn't too" Chase goaded "You don't love them…you don't care about them, you only care for yourself!"
"Shut up!" Lucas spat angrily and took a step towards Chase "You don't know anything about me!" he hissed through gritted teeth.
"I know that you're a coward" Chase taunted "Look at you…you're a mess! They were lucky that you left, you would have only made their life a misery anyway!"
That was all it took for Lucas to step towards Chase ready to hit him hard, but just as he did he felt a firm grip on his wrist, he looked down to see Brooke's hand holding his wrist down and she quickly stepped between the two.
"Lucas" She said calmly and looked at him directly in the eyes. She pushed him back slightly but still kept her hand firmly on his wrist "Please don't do this. You don't want to do this, do you?"
Lucas looked down at her then back at Chase who did not look happy, he looked back down at Brooke and sighed before nodding, she always knew how to calm him down. "Sorry" he mumbled quietly and Brooke released her hand from his wrist and took a step back. "Can you please just go?" she asked tiredly and Lucas reluctantly nodded.
Keith sighed from his spot behind Lucas and slowly led his defeated nephew out of the café.
Brooke turned to Chase and glared at him heavily "You didn't have to taunt him"
"Why the hell are you defending him?" Chase asked in disbelief "This is the guy who left you pregnant at 17!"
"I know that!" Brooke argued with a raised voice but quickly toned down her voice when she noticed a few people turn to look over at them "But I have to think about Grace in this, not me and not you"
"He doesn't deserve to have her in his life" Chase spat coldly.
"I know that" Brooke agreed "But Grace deserves to have a father, no matter how screwed up he is, I can't deny Lucas from seeing her"
Chase shook his head in disbelief "But she doesn't need him, she has me!"
"And I know that you love her as your own…and she loves you so much too, but you're not her Dad, Chase. I'm sorry" Brooke told him regretfully and gently placed her hand on his arm soothingly "Please understand where I am coming from in this"
Chase quickly recoiled from her touch "I don't understand, Brooke. I don't understand how you can even think about letting that asshole near your daughter never mind forgiving him!"
"Of course I don't forgive him!" Brooke defended "I have spent the last five years hating him for what he did but honestly, if he didn't leave…then I wouldn't have met you and I probably wouldn't have my store and I probably wouldn't be as close with Nathan. Things happen for a reason, Chase…I truly believe that"
Chase sighed and shook his head "I'm sorry, Brooke. But I don't agree with you on this" he told her with a cold tone in his voice and took another step back "I'm going, tell Grace I said bye" he muttered before leaving the café.
Brooke watched him leave then looked over at her daughter who was still coloring contently, totally unaware of the drama that had just unfolded behind her, she just hoped it would stay like that, she didn't want her getting pulled into this mess, Grace was completely innocent, she didn't deserve any of this.
"I don't believe it" Lucas sighed sadly as he and Keith slowly walked down the street "My daughter was right there, Keith! Right there! Just a few feet away from me and I didn't even get to see her face"
Keith patted his nephew's back reassuringly "Don't worry, Lucas. You will get to see her"
"Will I?" Lucas asked unsurely "Because I don't know if Brooke will let me, and if that Chase guy has anything to do with it then I definitely won't get to know her" he said dejectedly "And I know that this is all my fault, I know that! and I made a stupid mistake that I regret but I honestly believed that they would be better off without me…I was so messed up back then, I didn't know where my life was headed and I knew that I wouldn't be able to look after Brooke the way that I was supposed to, I knew that and that is why I left…it wasn't to deliberately hurt her, but I just couldn't see a future with us that would make her happy, make our baby happy if I was still acting like a selfish immature ass!"
Keith nodded in understanding "Sometimes…you make decisions that you think is for the best but in reality you are only making things worse in the long run" he told him "I thought that when I left Tree Hill things would be better for your Mom, I regretted leaving you but your Mom turned me down when I proposed and in all honesty, I felt like crap…so I did the only thing that I thought would be best and that was to leave, I thought that the space would do us good and that I would return at some point, but soon I found myself scared to go back, and the longer I left it, the worse I felt about it, so I picked the easy option and stayed away for good…and when I eventually came back, it was all too late"
"Who knew we would have so much in common" Lucas muttered sarcastically and shook his head defeated.
"No" Keith shook his head disagreeing with his nephew "The difference between you and me, Lucas…is that you came back, yes, you are five years to late but you aren't too late. If you want to be a part of your daughter's life then you can still do it…you can make it up to her, Lucas."
"I can't, Keith…I'm already too late, Brooke has already moved on and Grace probably see's that Chase guy as a father" Lucas said sadly "How can I compete with the life they have already made?"
"If you really want to then you can do it, Lucas, but I'm going to warn you again, it's not going to be easy" Keith told him seriously "Brooke certainly isn't going to forgive or trust you anytime soon but if you work hard, and you try to show her how much you want to be a part of your daughter's life then she can't deny you that, you just have to prove it to her"
Lucas nodded in agreement but then shook his head sadly "But I want Brooke back too…and I know that that is selfish of me, but I can't help how I feel…I love her, Keith. I really do, I always have and I don't think I will ever stop loving her." he said sincerely.
Keith stayed silent for a moment as the two continued to walk along the street. He stopped causing Lucas to stop too and he looked at his nephew with a firm gaze "Well then I guess you have a lot of work to do, Lucas. Because this is going to be one hell of a battle" he told him seriously.
"I know" Lucas agreed "But it's what I want…I have given up on them before. There is no way in hell that I'm going to do it again, no matter how much Brooke doesn't want me in her life right now. I am going to do this, I am going to get them back" Lucas told his uncle confidently and for the first time since returning to Tree Hill he felt that maybe…just maybe, in the end everything could turn out okay. Because a beautiful woman once told him; People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end.
A/N: Well? What did you all think of this chapter? Please tell me...I love reading all of your reviews! Remember, the more reviews the faster the updates!
And I just want to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter: Bazzle, princetongirl, brucas1, pink5288, ChadAndSophie, CheerandBrood323, p0line, leona, flipflopgal, othfan326, Rianna, Brooke Chambers, brucas2008, brucas333, PeterClaire, Brucasfan23, sabsfan2, Princesakarlita411, Tash and BL.
Thanks so much guys!
Sara x