A/N: Whoops! Here I am! Straight out of my time machine! Apologies, and enjoy!

Dumbledore hadn't protested as Salazar left his office with the potions professor's sleeve gripped in her hand, but Severus had.

"Let me go," he threatened, low and slippery, like a snake's dark underbelly. Salazar was not intimidated. The fact that Severus was stooped and tripping all over himself struggling against her pace greatly detracted from any feelings of fear she may have otherwise experienced. He obviously hadn't realised her hand was charmed to his cloak yet. She didn't want to touch him, but she sure as Hel wasn't letting him go on his merry way.

Not now that she had a plan...

"No. I need to take you somewhere."

"Where could you possibly take me that would benefit anyone?"

"Garden," she turned briefly to make sure the professor was still standing. A moment of awkward eye contact ensued. Salazar wasn't sure if she should be trying to assert dominance or not, though Severus certainly seemed to think he could out-glare her, "Stop that. This isn't a staring contest."

"Then look away," he suggested. Sal blinked thoughtfully, "I suppose I should do just that."

And like that, the witch had whipped around and was back on her warpath, thinking only of the swiftest way by which she could reach her intended destination.

"Will you slow down!" Severus hissed. He did not enjoy stumbling over his own feet like a bloody newborn lamb.

Sal was unrelenting, "Can't. Need to talk to the others about this issue."

The man pulled back at that, reminding Salazar of a rearing horse.

If horses were walking disasters.

"Are you insane, girl? We can't tell anyone else about this!"

She rounded on him then, "Oh, but Dumbledore is fine knowing, is that right?"

"He is one of the most powerful wizards alive!" Severus didn't know why he was trying to reason with the little whelp, but reason had to be seen.

"And you think that makes him trustworthy?" she looked him up and down like he was little more than an errant first year, "What a funny little man you are. No powerful wizard was there ever worth trusting."

"Do not insult the Headmaster in front of me," he hissed, though Severus thought the witch was right about that. Perhaps informing Albus of his affliction had been a mistake. Salazar regarded the man before her with curiosity.

"So even his dog doesn't trust him," she finally said.

Severus straightened, "Excuse me?"

Sal's smile was twisted and cruel, "I just thought that was amusing. Don't you?"

"Unfortunately, because of your little fuck up, yes, I do."

She grinned, "Well, isn't it good that we can both agree on something."

"I never said I agreed with you, I just said I thought the same thing you damned harpy," Severus felt the blood rushing to his head, followed by the niggling of yet another headache. Why did everything have to be so damned difficult in his life?

Sal muffled a snicker, adopting a honeyed tone, "Do you always act like this, or have I only noticed it now because we share such an intimate connection?"

Severus felt the sudden urge to vomit at his former student's insinuation, and had to remind himself several times that she was not, in fact, a child. Instead he confronted her, "What is so funny to you about this situation?" he demanded. Salazar's mood did not dampen in the slightest, "You! Your thoughts are all 'wah, wah. I'm not getting my way!', 'Wah! Big meanie just insulted me! ' 'I want my mummy!'" tears of mirth had formed in her eyes from holding back laughter, "You're like a grumpy toddler."

"At least I'm not a witch who still acts like a brat," he retorted.

"I am not a brat!" Sal pouted, glaring daggers at the professor, "You, on the other hand..."

"Oh really?" Severus rolled his eyes, something he hadn't done since the last time his father had beaten him for talking back. Sal guffawed uncharacteristically, "Did you seriously just roll your eyes at me?"

"If I did it was because of your influence," Severus denied. The witch rolled her eyes dramatically in response, "I am not that uncultured, despite what you may believe."

"Oh, you are definitely uncultured you-you-"

"-bitch?" Salazar suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"If that's how you see yourself," he sniffed, adjusting his cloak with his free hand.

The witch's eyes were wide with wonder as she walked, "Mordred, you're more of a child than Godric. And you don't even have the balls to insult me to my face, unlike him."

Severus took this as his cue, because Merlin knew he wasn't getting anywhere with his imposing stature – not when the witch kept pulling him down to her height like he was some floppy-haired doll, "Who is Godric by the way, because you still have a damned lot of explaining to do?"

His captor shrugged, "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure you'll find out soon."

"I would prefer to know now," Severus drawled.

"And I would prefer to be addressed exclusively as 'Your Majesty' and have my feet touch only satin and gold, but here we are," she quipped in reply, "in Hogwarts. Linked mentally."

"And whose fault is that exactly?" he smirked, before tripping over his left foot for the umpteenth time as the little trout yanked him down to her eye level, "Yours, you oaf! You tried to kill me."

"You're not worth the energy. Trust me," Severus did manage to look down his nose at her as he said this, though the intended effect was dulled with her reply, "Bet you've had a lot of experience killing people, huh, Sevvy?"

He almost didn't respond to that accusation. First of all, Sevvy? He absolutely refused to reply, but the words slipped out unintended, "Be quiet."

Wasn't it enough that she had power over him without lording it around? Was the witch truly this callous? But he couldn't hear her thoughts over her continued taunting, "Oh yes. I know your kind. You like to think you're above everyone else, but in reality, you're just a pawn. Let me guess, Master says 'kill' and you do?"

Severus bristled, "Shut up!"

He had heard enough from this prattling creature! Salazar smirked, eyes glinting dangerously, "Master says 'break them' and you get off on it, don't you?"

She stepped forward abruptly, fingers reaching out to flicker over the freshly singed fabric of Severus' normally pristine cloak, "You know what I think?" she asked, her breath heating his lips, "I think you liked being tortured last night. It certainly doesn't look like you're really hurting."

Fucking bitch.

It was her face that really did it; that untamed mixture of disgust and enjoyment that accompanied the witch's words. Like she knew a secret about himself that he didn't, like she enjoyed the thought of him being tortured within an inch of his life. Without realising it, he swung for her head, "Shut up you confounded woman!"

Salazar dodged the movement with practiced ease. Surprisingly.

"I see my lessons have finally paid off," a voice sounded from behind the pair. They turned to see a tall, auburn haired man with a taking smile and wicked eyes leaning into the doorway of a room Severus had never seen before. He noted with some amount of unease that the witch had brightened considerably. She was practically radiating affection and the word 'Godric' spun happily around in her head.

So this was Godric? The man had already infiltrated the castle! How? He tried once more to pull away from the shrew he was attached to before coming to the horrifying realisation that he was literally attached to her.

Oh God...

How had he missed that? No wonder he couldn't wrench his arm free earlier. Ignorant of his ongoing mental crisis, the conversation between the two intruders continued.

"Quite," she fell into a mock curtsy, "Although I can only hope to be one tenth as rage-inducing as you, he did still pull a punch."

"And on a lady, at that," Godric raised a brow in surprise, "It's almost as if no one has manners these days!"

Salazar laughed freely then, tipping her head to the side with eyes closed, "You know that I have never had particularly good manners, Godric. We can hardly criticise my guest!"

And as if registering his distress – or perhaps because she truly did feel it – the woman turned to face her captive, "Oh lighten up!" she insisted, "Once we pass through these doors it's going to be all seriousness and horror. At least pretend you're having fun!"

A nerve in Severus' cheek twitched, "How dare you suggest I lighten up when there are infidels in the castle, one of whom is obsessed with declaring their hatred for me?"

"Intruders?" Godric mimicked with concern at the same time as Sal let out another immensely irritating peal of laughter, "Hate you? Really? I don't hate you!" She prodded Severus in the chest, her mind all amusement, "Gods, you try my patience; I've never been more infuriated with a man before, but hatred? No. You're simply not worth it. Though to your credit, you really are easier to deal with when you're angry. Not as many thoughts get through. "

She went to look away before halting, as if recalling something, "You do however owe me for breaking my hand and trying to kill me. Now those things, they're worth remembering."
Again, she prodded him in the chest, "Now either curse me aloud like you want to or move your arse! You too Goddy-boy," she twitched her fingers at the other man playfully, "or that pixie of ours might come up with a mean little treat for all the late girls and boys."

Godric paled at this and moved out of the doorway, "Roger that, Scales."

Sal's mood soured at the comment, "Say that again."

Her companion merely grinned, "Oh, I will. It's winter after all," he spared a curious glance at Severus, "and apparently I am no longer the most irritating man in your life."

As it turned out, Severus was to be more of a spectator in the following proceedings than a participant. A very confused spectator. Shortly after entering the 'garden' – which was somehow in the middle of the fourth floor and sported a rather large table in the centre – two women had entered, one coloured similarly to 'Godric' whom he seemed to recall knocking him out, and a petite blonde with hell in her eyes. 'Salazar' explained what had occurred to incite this meeting between spies and a fight had swiftly broken out among the trespassers (most of which he managed to block out, thankfully, although the witch's mental commentary only seemed to grow louder in silence). He thought mostly of how to explain this event to Albus, how to waylay one of these unwanted beings after their meeting, and how they seemed to flitter through the room – chamber really – and out and in again without inciting the least bit of curiosity from the castle's remaining populace. At one point the blonde had even managed to coerce a house elf to bring them sweets! Just how long had they been here and how much influence did they wield? Severus was so far into his thoughts he had quite forgotten he was essentially their prisoner.

And then one sentence had to break his reverie.

"So when's the wedding?" It was the redhead who said it – the male one, that was. By now the blonde – Helga – was seated atop the table reading from one of numerous tomes, and the tall woman – Rowena – had glided out of the room long ago. Salazar almost choked, "Godric, I swear to Hecate, I will personally eviscerate you if you say so much as one more word."

He flipped a lazy look her way, "Still haven't found the right dress, then?"

Ignore him. Don't clench your teeth. Ladies do not clench their teeth, he could hear the witch thinking and almost sneered. She was no lady.

"Bickering over what colour the bouquet should be?" This time the glance was aimed at him. Had he not been so concerned for the wellbeing of the castle he might have fancied himself offended. He? Marry her?

Ignore him, Sal repeated as if speaking to soothe him, though of course she wasn't. She was far too livid to notice anything but the absolute fucking bastard throwing accusations at her.

"I would have thought orange lilies for hatred-" he managed to start before Salazar completely lost it, "I will gouge your eyes out with a spoon," she threatened. Her threat did nothing to stop his tongue, "-and buds from the judas tree to symbolise the betrayal you've dealt your so-called friends."

Salazar was wounded. Severus felt his own throat tense up from the intensity of her emotions, "Oh, so now you say it to my face! When did I betray you, Godric? When? I didn't mean for this to happen any more than you did, and goading me won't fix the situation."

"There shouldn't be a situation to begin with!" he hissed, "Maybe if you didn't defile yourself with that creature-"

"Oh Godric, stop it!" Rowena was entering the room with bundle of blank parchment piled high, "Neither Salazar nor the potions professor wants their privacy breached and whilst I don't like him either," she shot an uncertain look in Severus' direction, "nobody deserves to have their privacy taken away from them completely," as an afterward she added, "And how dare you insult a lady's dignity that way! You know Sal hasn't been here as long as us. She missed the sexual revolution and you accuse her of defiling herself? You are by far the cruellest man I have known!"

She lay a comforting hand upon Sal's shoulder, "This goes far beyond your usual cruelty, Godric."

"Don't expect me to apologise," the man stood his ground, arms folded across his broad chest, "She's put us all in the deep end now."

The tall witch shook her head, "We were already in the deep end. Flinging names around won't make this situation any better," she protested. Despite her upset state, Salazar managed a tiny grin, "Thanks for the support, Ro. Not making me feel like an idiot at all."

Rowena gasped, grasping at the other witch's hands, "Oh, Sal, you know I didn't mean it like that! He almost killed you, you responded. It's his fault, really. I'm sorry."

"You should feel like an idiot. You are one," Godric interrupted, terse.

"It's my fault?!" Severus let out.

"Godric!" Dark cracks appeared across Rowena's typically calm face, surprising the professor. Definitely not human, he decided, filing that information away for later. The female continued her chastising ignorant to his deduction.

"Will you calm yourself!"she all but ordered.

"Yeah, Rick," Helga piped from her perch atop the table, "Being undead doesn't give you the right to be a dick."
But I agree with you. We can't allow our restoration research to be compromised by someone with shady ties. That Voldemort guy is kind of a fanatic. He stole the Cup of Plenty, you know? Or he thought he did. You'd think someone would have figured out that if there's an object that can replicate anything, of course I'm going to replicate it first." Helga flipped a page in the book she was reading, "Such bad thieves."

"Only you would complain about people sucking at thievery," Sal groaned, banging her head onto the table near one of Helga's book stacks. She had a headache. Severus knew. He could feel it.

"This table must be at least nine hundred years old. How is it so sturdy?" she exclaimed, rubbing her head. Godric eyed her reproachfully, "Salazar, stop avoiding the subject matter currently being presented to you."

"Godric, stop acting like you're still my fucking tutor. I'm twenty seven, or one thousand, or whatever," she grunted the last word out as if her frustration would yield answers from the gods themselves.

"Then stop acting like a guilty child. Answer the question. What if the Potions Master goes spilling the beans about who we are and what we are to Hogwarts?"

"Why is this my decision?" she spun on her heel, clicking it her fingers against the table in agitation,"If he tells, which he inevitably will, by some means of coercion or other, his words will fall upon deaf ears and mouths that laugh at how foolish he seems!"

She then turned her fierce gaze on the man in question, "Besides, you heard him just now. The man has, if nothing else, a mouth. Let him speak for himself. That is why I brought him here, you idiot."

What surprised Severus most about this encounter was that the little witch's insult, tinged with hurt, seemed to bring out remorse in the brash man. As far as he could tell, anyway.

Not like I can hear his thoughts. Thankfully.

He had so many questions he could barely think anymore.

"What if he wants to help us?" Helga suggested meekly, glancing at the suddenly tongue-tied professor.

"And what if he doesn't? Those people at the Manor, Death Eaters, were they?" the words tasted foreign to Godric, "You barely escaped them, Sal. He might reveal your secrets to them. Our secrets. Like how to override the castle wards."

"The what?" Severus quickly regained his voice at that. He was ignored.

"Wards which are swiftly failing, I might add," Sal reminded lightly, "My main priority is to save this school, and you, my friends. I don't care what happens afterwards. I don't care about that slimy, nasty idiot, or either of his bosses. I just want to fix the castle."

Excuse me?

"Yes, excuse you," Salazar turned and wrinkled her nose at the professor, "I invite you here to answer those pesky questions flickering around in your head and you've barely said a word. It's in very poor taste."

Godric's hand on her shoulder brought Sal back to her prior conversation, "We're fading. We have been since you left, and we will continue to fade regardless of what happens from now on."

Salazar made to interrupt, but Godric rushed in, "It's true. We're...we're not even ghosts, Salazar! And you are still alive. You need to protect yourself first, which means severing this connection you have with that man."

His derision did not go unnoticed by Severus. Salazar ignored him, "Still alive now, you mean! I wasn't around when you fell ill, was I? And the curse, or sickness...whatever it is affected all of you! That's not chance, friends. That's not something I can turn my back on, because if it's taken you, it will try to take me, and if I let you succumb to it completely just to get a-a man out of my head, then I am no better than the murderer I have been portrayed as for the past millennium."

That was Severus' breaking point. The woman – or harpy, whatever she was – had burst into tears. He hated tears. They did no one any good, and he certainly would not be an unwilling participant in someone else's pity party. He stood upright and addressed his captors, "I have no idea why I am here or what is going on and I have just one question."

The attention in the room turned to him. Letting nothing phase him, he continued, "Just who do you people think you are?"

There were several looks exchanged before the blonde closed her book and jumped off the table. She eyed him with concern, "Were you not listening?" she asked, "We're the Founders."

Severus shook his head, "That can't be true. The Founders are long since gone."

"You've seen Salazar's memories, have you not?" Rowena was the one to ask this time. The professor nodded, "Yes, and I believe them to be false."

"False?" Salazar squawked. A hand appeared on her arm, holding her attention.

"You don't believe her?" Severus shook his head. Godric looked at him with unexpected intensity, "You should, you know. However, there is one way to prove she tells no lies."

Salazar groaned, her mind filling with terror, "Godric, no!"

Severus could not help but echo the sentiment. Still, he swallowed hard and managed, "And what way is that?"

Godric threw his arms to the ceiling in an imitation of joy, "Why, what is the most pure cure to any curse? What is it that men will seek from maidens as protection from harm? What makes lies dissipate from the mind and the mouth, assuming one can speak, that is?"

Helga gulped, "You mean, a kiss?"

Godric shook his head, "I mean a first kiss. The only kiss worth any magic at all, save a kiss of true love, of course."

Severus felt himself heat up. There was something wrong with this picture. Something other than the notion of locking lips with...her. Something he was forgetting.

"Godric, I can't," Salazar refused, a painful plea in her voice.

"Please don't," he agreed. But Godric was unrelenting, "You want the truth, and Sal can give it to you. Why do you protest? Who knows? It may just turn you to our cause!"

"Maybe because this is my student we're talking about," his voice dripped sarcasm.

"I was never your student," Salazar reminded him, "And I've already kissed him," she notified Godric.

At her words the memory came flooding back. Unfortunately, it was also then that Godric decided to flood forward in a wave of anger, "You what?"

"Christmas, Godric," Sal sighed wearily, "About a week ago. There was mistletoe-"

"So why didn't you just blast it?" he raged.

"I tried," Severus offered, "Numerous times. Fervently."

Godric grasped for straws, "But why would you- it obviously doesn't count under duress. I can't imagine you kissing this person for pleasure! I mean, w-would you?"

"Twenty minutes ago you accused me of sullying myself with him!" she retorted.

Severus found some satisfaction in the greening of the other man's face.

"That doesn't-! I was angry. I didn't really think-!" he managed to take a calming breath before his next words, "I didn't know you were into that kind of person, Sal. I guess that explains why you're still single."

Salazar lifted a hand to her brow, unsure whether to rub it or smack herself at her friend's stupidity.

"Godric, I don't see what the problem is. The end result is the same. I can't lie to him. That's why I agreed to veritaserum, or do you think I'm a complete fool?" at this she turned to Severus, "Do you believe me now, or would you like a re-enactment?"

A polite cough interrupted his horrified thoughts.

"Might I say something?" Helga asked. Rowena chuckled at that, "You always do, pet," she pointed out. Helga straightened her skirts, "Yes, well, this might have escaped your notice, but I am actually a fervent fan of Merlin's collected works."

Salazar's groan was both internal and external, "What does that old pervert have to do with this?" she demanded. The blonde frowned before continuing, "Whilst I do not agree with my associate on Merlin's quote unquote pervertedness, I do know that he was no stranger to love spells, and in particular fond of the magical properties of kisses."

"I'm sure," Sal agreed, "He was probably also very fond of the 'magical properties' of pinching arses and petting bosoms."

"SALAZAR!" Helga chastised. The room went very quiet. Severus knew not what power this girl held over the others, but he was not about to question it. Perhaps he could align himself with her to escape the little harpy.

"Anyway," she continued, seemingly oblivious to the change in atmosphere, "After many trials-"

Salazar snickered here, "-Merlin came to find that while one's first kiss cleared the mind of lies, the magic only worked while engaging in the act."

The green eyed witch became pissed upon hearing this, "Are you saying that I totally could have fed him lies and saved myself the trouble of all this?"

Helga shook her head, "Not quite," her face took on an impish quality, "but I am saying that since the professor here was your first kiss that you cannot lie to him whilst in the act of kissing him and only him, so pucker up, sunshine!"

The impishness then disappeared as she – quite wisely – made herself scarce from the room.

"I'm going to kill her," Salazar decided.

"You most certainly are not," Severus muttered. Salazar turned a challenging eye his way, "Oh?"

The professor sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, "May we go somewhere private, Miss Smith-"

"Salazar."

"-May we go somewhere private Salazar?" he asked.

The girl was wary, as was to be expected, "Whatever for?"

Severus closed his eyes, not quite believing what he was about to say, "I believe it would be in my best interests to experience a 're-enactment', as you put it."

Sal blanched.

"And I believe it would be in both our interests to do this away from prying eyes?" he glanced at Rowena and Godric, whom appeared to be experiencing some sort of internal crises he was glad not to be privy to, "Hopefully so we can one day forget this ever happened?"

And perhaps I will agree with this nonsense story of yours and offer my guidance, he assured, and perhaps I will not.

"I-I can't find any fault in that."

And she truly was so shaken that she allowed herself to be led out of the garden and far underground.

A/N: This was like a nightmare to reread. Why do I keep leaving this story for extended periods of time? Even when I have finished chapters? Though I suppose I did fix some continuity errors...and make other ones I'm sure.
God love this messy, fun, at times frustrating story. And thanks again to those of you who have stuck by it with me. Thank you so much.

Love,

Lucy~!